


Last of the Real Ones

by AngelofShadows



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altered/Extended Timeline, Alternate Universe - Canon Alteration, Don't worry ya'll, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith and Shiro were dating Pre-Kerb, Keith has Major Past Trauma, Keith has trust issues, Lance triggered Keith a lot, M/M, POV Keith (Voltron), POV Shiro (Voltron), Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Keith (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro wants to kill people, The end of S8 is getting retconned, and Abandonment Issues, and all throughout the series, but now they're bros, fight me, minor side pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-04-27 02:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 208,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelofShadows/pseuds/AngelofShadows
Summary: Keith Kogane and Takashi Shirogane are closer than anything. Shiro was the first person Keith ever let in, and Keith is the one person Shiro allows himself to lean on, to not be strong around. They will do anything for each other, even cross the stars a thousand times over. Even die. This is how their story began, and how they handle the life they have been dealt. Chasing after each other and defending the universe from the forces of evil isn't easy, but they'll be fine as long as they have each other to depend on.Or, the AU where Keith and Shiro were always together, no matter what anyone says.





	1. Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! This fic here is my baby. I started writing this when I started Voltron, back when we only had two seasons. I wanted to wait to publish it until we had our Pre-Kerberos backstory, because aside from the relationship and Keith's background, I want this to be as close to canon as possible, but they’re taking too long to give it to us. Therefore, after we get the Pre-Kerb stuff, I may change some things, but we’ll see.  
> Also, WARNING: Please, please, PLEASE read the tags. Keith went through some pretty awful shit in his past. Nothing is described in major detail, but he does eventually tell Shiro what happened to him. I will give an extra warning when that part comes, but please proceed with caution if you have triggers. Keep yourselves safe, and tell me if there's a tag I should add and haven't.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this mess of a fic.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

The first time Shiro ever sees him, he and Matt are in the library, studying for an exam. The boy is in the lineup of new cadets. They are seemingly getting a tour of the Garrison, and out of all the wide-eyed, gasping teenagers, he seems to be the only one unexcited. He also seems different somehow. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Matt snaps his fingers next to his ear.

“Earth to Shiro! You in there, buddy?”

“Sorry.” Shiro says automatically, looking over at his best friend. Matt raises an eyebrow.

“What’s so interesting about the cadets?” He asks.

Shiro frowns and glances back over at the one who’d caught his attention. The boy was frowning at whatever the instructor was saying, while the others looked on in awed silence. He turned his head and his long hair fell into his violet eyes. He didn’t bother to brush it away.

“That one,” Shiro says, pointing his pencil in the boy’s direction.

“What about him?”

“Doesn’t he look a little young to be here?”

Matt frowns and pulls his glasses off to clean them with the hem of his shirt before sliding them back on and squinting at the boy in question.

“Man, he’s _tiny_. He can’t be much taller than Katie!”

“I’m pretty sure he’s taller than your twelve-year-old sister.”

“Still. What’s he doing here? No way he’s eighteen.”

Shiro frowns again and manages to flag down Colonel Page. She approaches them with a raised eyebrow. “Shirogane?”

“Ma’am, I was wondering who that boy with the new cadets is. He isn’t one, is he?”

She glances over to where the group is moving into the next room slowly. “Ah, yes, he is indeed.”

“But ma’am, he can’t possibly be anywhere _near_ eighteen.” Matt protests.

“He isn’t. That’s Cadet Kogane. He took the entrance exam and had scores the likes of which we haven’t seen since _you_ applied, Shirogane. So Commander Iverson let him in. He’s only sixteen, the youngest cadet we’ve ever had.” She tilts her head, considering. “It looks like he may be as good a pilot as you are.” She says to Shiro, then she walks away.

“Well that’s impressive, seeing as you’re the golden boy.” Matt says.

“I am not!” Shiro protests, but they’ve had this argument before. The instructors do all seem to favor him.

Matt doesn’t bother to point this out, and instead looks towards where the cloud of cadets disappeared. “Sixteen. Damn, I hope he’ll do okay.”

Shiro hums in agreement. Maybe he should keep an eye on Cadet Kogane, just in case.

~*~

It’s a good thing he does, because Shiro realizes something about the boy very quickly: he doesn’t let _anybody_ close to him. He manages to alienate himself from the other cadets very quickly, and once Shiro hears a boy who must be his roommate complain about how cold he acted.

He sees Kogane sit by himself in the cafeteria every day, pick at his food, then get up and leave within minutes. And he seems so resigned about it. It makes Shiro’s heart ache for the boy.

“Come on Shiro, he likes it that way!” Matt tells him a week or so later as they get their food. “He’s deliberately pushing people away, clearly he wants to be alone!”

“Or maybe he’s waiting for someone to try and push back.”

“What are we talking about?” Adam asks as he slides into the space next to Shiro, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Your boyfriend’s mothering instincts.” Matt tells him, waving a hand dismissively.

“That does not surprise me in the least.” Adam sighs, smiling at Shiro. “Who are we adopting this time?”

Shiro points to the boy, and Adam frowns. “Ah, Kogane. Yeah, I’ve TAed for some of his classes. He’s got talent but can’t take an order worth a damn.”

“He just needs a little help.” Shiro says quietly.

Adam sighs again. “Well, I know I can’t stop you.”

“No one can stop Shiro from doing anything.” Matt points out, shaking his head and looking fondly at Shiro, laughing softly. “You and your bleeding heart.” He and Adam wave Shiro off, however, and Shiro takes the opportunity to go over to the lone cadet.

“Hello.” Shiro says, smiling when the boy jolts and squints up at him suspiciously.

“What?” he growls, shoulders tightening visibly under his uniform.

“Mind if I sit here?” Shiro asks, pointing to the chair across from Kogane.

One slim eyebrow lifts. “Why?”

Shiro shrugs nonchalantly. “Because I would like to sit with you.”

This seems to be the wrong answer, as Kogane glares up at him. “Why?” He says again.

“Because I want to get to know you.” Shiro says, still standing patiently next to the chair. Kogane glares up at him for another minute before looking away and waving at the chair.

“Do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Thank you.” Shiro says mildly and sits.

Kogane glances back at him and that eyebrow goes up again.

“I’m Shiro.” He introduces, smiling gently at the still bristling boy. He reminds Shiro of the family cat. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I know who you are.” Kogane says gruffly. “You’re the bigshot pilot everyone here keeps comparing me to. The real-life superman.”

Shiro shrugs again, beaming. “I don’t know about that. I just do what they tell me.”

Kogane snorts and rolls his eyes. “Sure.”

“Are you going to tell me your name?”

“You don’t know it?”

“I know your last name.” Shiro admits. “But I don’t know your first, and I’d rather not call you ‘Cadet Kogane’.”

The boy glares at him for a moment longer. “Keith.” He says at length. “My name’s Keith.”

Shiro beams again. “Nice to meet you, Keith.”

Keith barks out a laugh. “You’re a strange guy, Shirogane.”

“Please, call me Shiro. Everyone does.”

“Really fucking strange.” Keith deadpans. Shiro laughs.

~*~

 They didn’t really talk for the rest of the lunch period, but Keith didn’t leave the cafeteria after five minutes, so Shiro counts it as a win. He sits with Keith the next day too, and is again greeted with barely contained hostility.

“The hell are you doing here?”

“I wanted to sit with you again.” Shiro says evenly, sitting where he sat the day before.

“Why?”

Shiro decides honesty is the best policy where Keith is concerned. “Because I know you sit alone every day, and I don’t like the thought of you being by yourself.”

“I don’t want your goddamn pity.” Keith spits, gripping the edge of the table in a white knuckled grip.

Shiro looks at him evenly. “It’s not pity. I just don’t like seeing you alone.”

“Maybe,” Keith grits out, “I like it that way.”

Shiro shrugs a shoulder and takes a bite of his pasta. “Maybe you do. If you don’t want me here, you can tell me to leave.”

Keith watches him eat in stony silence, but doesn’t tell him to leave. Another win, in Shiro’s book.

So he comes back.

This time, Keith just glares at him silently the whole time. Shiro greets him, and chatters about the new flight simulator and how high-tech it’s supposed to be. Keith looks like he wants to comment but stops himself. Once again, Keith doesn’t ask him to leave.

He asks him about that the next day.

“Hey Keith?”

The boy raises an eyebrow.

“You haven’t asked me to leave you alone.”

Keith shrugs and looks away. “Seems like a bad move to piss off the golden boy. I may not be interested in making friends, but making enemies would be worse.”

Shiro frowns. “Keith, you don’t have to humor me. If you’re really uncomfortable with me being here, I’ll leave you alone. I don’t want you to think you have to appease me. In fact that’s the last thing you should be worried about.”

“Is that so.” Keith drawls.

“Yes.” Shiro leans forward slightly, causing Keith to jerk back. “Keith, if you don’t want me here, tell me to go screw myself. I’ll go, and I won’t bother you again.”

“Really?” Keith seems skeptical.

“Really. I’m not here to make you uncomfortable.”

“Then why are you here?” Keith asks, sounding oddly defeated.

“Because I saw you pushing everyone away. I saw you sitting here by yourself every day, barely eating. And I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Why would you care?” Keith sighs.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Most people wouldn’t.”

“Most people don’t care about other human beings as much as they should.”

Keith gives him a very strange look but doesn’t say anything else.

And, the next day, he doesn’t glare at Shiro even once. Shiro smiles like an idiot the entire lunch period.

“Shut up.” Keith mutters around a mouthful of pasta.

“I wasn’t saying anything!”

“You look like an overexcited puppy. What’s your deal?”

Shiro shrugs but can’t keep the smile off his face. “You’re not glaring at me like you have been.”

Keith shrugs. “Guess I’m used to this now.”

“Am I still making you uncomfortable?” Shiro asks carefully, noticing that while he is indeed not being glared at, Keith’s shoulders are still tense.

“Everyone makes me uncomfortable.” Keith mutters. “I don’t like people in general.”

“Why is that?”

Keith instantly bristles, and Shiro regrets saying anything.

“Hey, no worries. You don’t have to tell me. Just, you’ll tell me if you want me to leave, right? I really don’t want to make you unhappy.”

The younger pilot sighs and leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair and pushing his bangs back.

“You’re… tolerable, I guess. At least you haven’t tried to touch me. It’s fine, you being here. If you want to be. I still don’t get why you bother. I’ve told you, I’m fine being alone.”

“That doesn’t mean you should have to be.” Shiro says gently.

“I’m used to it.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s good, Keith.” Shiro wants to reach out, to touch, to reassure, but he knows Keith doesn’t want him to. “Humans are pack animals. We don’t do very well on our own.”

“I do.”

“Well, humor me. Please.”

Keith rolls his eyes and goes back to eating. “I will. For now.”

Somehow, Shiro feels like that’s his biggest victory so far.

~*~

Shiro doesn’t see Keith again until the following Monday, and when he does catch sight of the younger cadet, it looks like he’s trying to pull his hair out.

“What’s the matter?” Shiro asks, frowning.

“Fucking physics bullshit!” Keith hisses, swiping the papers in front of him onto the floor. He doesn’t even have food.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Shiro soothes, placing his hand on the table between them.

“No it’s fucking not! I can’t do this shit and I’m gonna fail the course!” Keith is visibly panicked. It’s the most emotion Shiro’s ever seen on his face aside from open hostility. “If I fail, I can’t stay, and if I can’t stay-”

“Easy,” Shiro soothes, cutting off Keith’s anxious words. “It’ll be okay. Why don’t I help you?”

Keith’s head snaps up. “Huh?”

“I could tutor you. I’m pretty good with physics. Maybe I can help you get whatever it is you’re not understanding.”

“Why?” Keith says, eyes narrowing. That seems to be Keith’s favorite word to use around him.

“Because it seems like you could use the help.”

The boy gives him another hostile glare. “What’s your angle, here, Shirogane?”

“No angle, I promise. You seem overwhelmed, and you seem like you can’t do this alone. Like I told you before, humans aren’t meant to be alone. I can help you, I _want_ to help you. Please, let me.”

Keith makes a frustrated noise and glares down at the papers on the floor.

“Fine.” He says after a minute, glancing back up at Shiro. “But we’re meeting in the library.”

Shiro nods. That seems fair. “Sounds good. When do you want to meet?”

“Considering that pile of shit is due on Wednesday, preferably before then.”

“Are you free this evening? Say, five?”

“Sure.”

Shiro smiles. “Excellent.” Then he pushes the second half of his sandwich at Keith. The boy looks up at him in confusion.

“You don’t have any lunch, and I’m done. Please.”

Keith snorts and shakes his head. “Fucking superman complex.” He mutters but takes the sandwich and begins to eat.

Shiro makes sure Keith has all his papers in order, and then bids him farewell. He hopes that he can show Keith he really just wants to help. He’s so suspicious of everything, it would be nice if Shiro could prove that not everyone is out to get him. Maybe he’d feel a little calmer, a little more at home.

Determined now more than ever to help the young cadet, Shiro hurries back to his and Adam’s quarters to look over his own physics books. He wants to help Keith, and if he can only help with schoolwork, then that’s what he’ll do.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, wrapping his arms around Shiro from behind and nuzzling his neck. Shiro winces. “Glasses, honey.”

“Shit, sorry,” Adam pulls back and takes off his glasses before resuming the gesture of affection. “So, what’s up?”

“I’m going to tutor Keith in physics.”

“Kei-? Oh! Kogane, right. He, actually asked you for help?” Adam tilts his head in surprise.

“Well, not in so many words, but I offered, and he accepted. I don’t want him to fail out because of one thing. I’ve seen his flight scores. He scored higher than any cadet ever has. Even me.”

“You really think he’s worth the trouble?” Adam asks. Shiro turns and pulls Adam down, pressing their lips together gently.

“I know he is.”

Adam sighs, but smiles at him. “Alright, well, good luck.”

Shiro smirks and turns back to the books in front of him. “Thanks. I might need that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to think Shiro used to be helplessly optimistic before Kerberos. I love both of these boys so damn much, I hope I can do them justice.
> 
> I wish I could make it easy  
> Easy to love me, love me  
> But still I reach  
> To find a way  
> I'm stuck here in between  
> I'm looking for the right words to say  
> \- Waves, Mr. Probz
> 
> (And yes, the title is from the Fall Out Boy song. It's the Sheith Anthem, I had to.)


	2. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back. Have some Shiro trying to help Keith with various things. Cheers.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Shiro finds Keith smackdab in the middle of the library, surrounded by papers and textbooks. He’s scowling at a page with graphs, and nearly breaking the pencil in his grip.

“Hey,” Shiro says, causing Keith to jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

Keith huffs and crosses his arms, glaring down at the paper on the table as if trying to bore a hole through it. “It’s fine. Just, sit down and help me sort this shit out, would you?”

“Alright,” Shiro sits down in the chair opposite Keith and sets his own physics notes on the table between them. “Walk me through what you have to do.”

“I don’t know if I can.” Keith mutters. But shows him the worksheet anyway. Shiro very quickly realizes Keith has no idea what he’s doing. So he starts scaling back, and back, and back, until he’s going over Algebra equations, which seems to be the highest level Keith is comfortable with, and even then, his knowledge is pretty shaky.

“I know, I suck at math.” Keith sighs. He sets his pencil down and rubs his face, groaning into his hand.

“That’s alright,” Shiro assures, “it’s hard for some people. From what I’ve gathered, you’re more of a ‘feel it, do it’ person. I’ll bet a lot of logic subjects aren’t too easy for you.”

“You can say that again.” The younger pilot mutters, looking down at the partially done worksheet with distain.

“I can help you with the sciences too, if you’d like?”

Keith glances at him. “You know, at this point, I’ll take all the help I can get. So, yeah. Thanks.”

Shiro smiles. “Of course. Now let’s finish that physics.”

He manages to walk Keith through his homework before trying to walk him through the first chapter of his textbook, pausing to explain equations every now and then. They end the evening with Keith only slightly less frustrated than he started. The next night goes about the same, and the next. By Thursday, Keith is tearing his hair out.

“I’m never going to fucking get this! This is bullshit!”

“Hey,” Shiro places a hand on Keith’s covered wrist, causing the boy to freeze. Shiro almost pulls away but worries that will do more damage than just pretending he hadn’t noticed anything. “You’ll get it. It’ll just take some time.”

“I don’t have time.” Keith grits out.

“Patience yields focus, Keith.” Shiro says gently.

Keith scowls up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “The fuck does that even mean?”

“It means, if you take your time to think things through, you can find the answer a lot more easily than if you try to force a result.”

“Fucking superman wisdom guru.” Keith mutters, but picks the textbook back up, shaking off Shiro’s hand. Shiro lets him.

They continue with their routine. Sitting together at lunch then spending a few hours in the library working on Keith’s math skills. He learns during this time that Keith has a dry humor and wit to him. He’s extremely clever, and very observant, figuring out the littlest things about Shiro from the smallest of details.

“You really like purple, huh?” Keith asks during lunch one day, raising an amused eyebrow as Shiro sits down.

Shiro blinks at him in surprise. “It’s my favorite color. How did you…?”

Keith rolls his eyes and smirks. “You wear your uniform strictly to regulation, but I have seen you wearing purple socks at least three times. They can pass for black easily enough, but they’re definitely purple.”

Not even Matt has ever noticed the purple socks. Shiro is impressed.

Which is why it really shouldn’t surprise him that Keith notices the wristbands.

“What are those for? You rub at them a lot.” Keith asks one evening, pointing his pencil at the device.

Shiro tugs up his sleeve to cover it. “It’s to keep my muscles loose.” He says evenly.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with your muscles?”

“Well, even superman needs a little help sometimes.” Shiro says quietly, then safely derails the conversation back to math.

The more time he spends with Keith, the more the younger man surprises him. And the more convinced he is that all the rumors from his class are wildly inaccurate. Although, the rumor that Keith gets into a lot of fights is not a rumor at all.

Several times when they meet up, Keith will have a black eye or split lip, and will be very vague about it when Shiro asks. He finds out through Matt (who is a sucker for gossip) that Keith doesn’t typically start these altercations, but he usually wins them. And that they’re typically with one of their other “ace pilots”, Cadet Griffin.

“Honestly, I don’t know why he still tries to mess with the kid if he just beats him into a bloody pulp.” Matt tells him.

He asks Keith about these fights that evening, but the cadet just shrugs. “He keeps talking shit about my upbringing. I’m not going to apologize.”

“Why don’t you tell the brass that they’re not your fault? Every one of them goes into your record, Keith.”

Keith shrugs again. “I can handle it myself. I won’t let anyone fuck with me anymore. And if that means having to kick some moron cadet’s asses, then so be it.”

Shiro files that comment away for later study and continues to walk Keith through his textbook.

~*~

It’s a few weeks later when, upon arriving at the library, Keith slaps a quiz down in front of Shiro with a pleased expression on his face.

“C plus?” Shiro reads, glancing up at the grinning cadet.

“Fuck yeah it is.”

“This is good?” Shiro asks.

“Shiro, before you started helping me, I was averaging D minus. Hell yes that’s good.”

Shiro smiles and chances ruffling Keith’s hair. He ducks away and scowls, but doesn’t tense up, which Shiro thinks is a good sign. Seems like Keith is getting more comfortable around him. It makes him smile stupidly.

“Good job, Keith. I knew you’d get it.”

“Hey, this is your influence, superman. If it weren’t for you, I’d have fluked out by now so…” Keith looks down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Thanks. For helping me.”

“I’m happy to help.” Shiro says softly, once again covering Keith’s wrist with his hand loosely, so Keith can still pull away if he wants to. He doesn’t, and that makes Shiro smile again.  “You still have a ways to go, though. Let’s see if we can get you up to a B before the end of the year.”

Keith grins and pulls away from Shiro to drop into his usual chair, an intense fire burning in his eyes. “Hell yeah, let’s do this.”

~*~

After another particularly _public_ fight with Griffin, Shiro is called in, and told that Keith is just shy of getting thrown out. The only reason he isn’t is because Shiro keeps vouching for him. He has a talk with Keith, and promises that no matter what happens, he’s not giving up on him. That seems to shock the boy to no end.

“You don’t even know me,” Keith stutters out.

“I’d like to think I know you a little, at this point.” Shiro says gently. “And besides, everyone needs a hand every now and then.” He holds his hand out for Keith to take. The boy’s lips quirk a little, and he takes Shiro’s hand.

~*~

“I grew up in the foster system.” Keith says out of nowhere one night in December. They’ve moved from their usual table to the couch in front of the library’s heating unit due to the slight chill in the air. Keith pulls the blanket Shiro had brought tighter around his shoulders and stares out the window.

Shiro sets down his pencil and leans back, watching Keith steadily. Shiro talks a lot about himself – his family, his childhood, his classes – but Keith has never offered any information of his own, until now.

“It was a really shitty place.” Keith continues, still not looking at Shiro. “Over twenty kids all crammed into one house with only two caretakers. A lot of things fell through the cracks, not the least of which was our education. We were all sent to the school right around the corner, so they could save on gas or some shit. Save on something. It was always about saving money. Anyway, that school was really shit, lowest scores in the county or something. Teachers would leave in the middle of the year, so it was a lot of starting and stopping. Whole chunks of what we should have been taught never got done because the new teacher thought the old on covered it, and none of _us_ knew any better.”

Keith frowns, fingers gripping his arms tighter. “We were all at an under average level in _everything,_ and the teachers didn’t give a fuck about helping us. Why bother, when they were going to be gone in a couple months anyway? So math, science, _reading_? I never really had any help with any of it, before you came along. So when I say thank you, I really mean it, Shiro.”

Keith finally looks back at him, jaw tensing. “I’m not great with people, as you’re probably aware. So maybe I don’t come off as grateful, but I really am. I busted my ass to ace the entrance exam so I could get the fuck out of that hellhole, and if I’d failed physics, I’d be sent right back there. And I never want to go back. So, thank you.”

Shiro leans forwards again, arms braced on his knees and looks at Keith. He looks extremely uncomfortable. It clearly took a lot for him to tell Shiro about his past.

“Thank you for telling me.” Shiro says quietly. “If there’s another subject that you want to get better at, I’d be happy to help with that too. If you’ll recall, I did already offer to help with science, but if there’s anything else, let me know.”

Keith’s mouth twists into a rueful smile. “What, no ‘I’m so sorry, your life sounds awful, pity party for the poor little orphan’?”

Shiro shakes his head. “No one can change what already happened, but I’d like to help moving forwards.”

Keith huffs a laugh and leans back, closing his eyes. “You really are a real-life superman, Shiro.”

Shiro smiles and ruffles Keith’s hair. The boy doesn’t even flinch.

~*~

“You and Kogane seem to be doing well.” Adam says one night.

Shiro rolls over in their bed and props himself up on an elbow. “He’s a good kid. He just needed a little help.”

Adam looks up at him with a searching gaze. “He’s stopped picking fights with James Griffin. Even when provoked. Did you have something to do with that?”

Shiro shrugs a shoulder. “I didn’t do much.”

Adam laughs softly and tugs Shiro down onto his chest. “You’re a miracle worker, Takashi.”

Shiro shrugs again but smiles at this new knowledge. Maybe what he’d said had gotten through to Keith after all.

~*~

“Hey, Keith.” Shiro says, frowning.

Keith settles into the chair opposite him, lunch tray barely full. “Yeah?”

“You hardly got any food.”

Keith shrugs and stirs the cup of soup in front of him with his spoon. “I’m not all that hungry.”

Apparently Keith was never all that hungry, from what Shiro’s seen. Shiro’s frown deepens.

“I was thinking,” he says a little while later when Keith starts to get up. “Tonight, could we meet at the café instead? I wanted to try their new latte.”

Keith snorts. “Of course you drink fancy coffee. Sure. Same time?”

Shiro nods.

Shiro makes sure to get there first. He orders his latte and a regular coffee for Keith, then gets two of their sandwiches and has it all waiting when Keith shows up. He looks down at the food and raises a skeptical eyebrow at Shiro, but relents and eats while they work. He continues to drag Keith to the café and make him eat sandwiches for the rest of the week. Keith obviously catches on to what he’s doing.

“Trying to fatten me up, Shirogane?” Keith teases after the fifth time he arrives to see a sandwich at his seat.

Shiro shrugs, looking away. “You hardly ever eat, Keith. I was worried.”

Keith waves a hand dismissively. “I don’t like a lot of foods. We were practically force fed gross shit at the house, so now I don’t eat if it’s not something I like. And I really don’t need a lot anyway. It’s fine.”

“What _do_ you like?” Shiro asks, perking up.

Keith shrugs. “I like most salty foods. I’m not really one for sweets, which I guess is good. Simple stuff, I guess. Anything complicated and there’s probably gonna be something gross in it.”

Shiro grins. “I can work with that.”

“Oh god, there you go.” Keith groans, but he’s smiling.

The next day at lunch Shiro presents his creation to Keith with a flourish.

“What is this?” Keith asks, poking the box suspiciously.

“A bento.” Shiro says, setting his own down and opening it up. “Traditional Japanese lunch. My mom used to make them all the time for me and my siblings when we were in school. I’m guessing you don’t know how to use chopsticks so just use a fork.”

Keith opens the lid and peers at the divided dish. “What is all this?”

Shiro leans across and starts pointing with his chopsticks. “Rice, salted salmon, onions and peppers, egg, broccoli. It’s the ‘typical’ bento lunch. Dig in.”

Keith pokes at it all for a minute before shrugging and taking a bite. He pauses, then looks up at Shiro, who regards him with a raised eyebrow.

“This is really fucking good.”

Shiro grins. “I’m glad you think so. I’ll make you more in the future.”

“Hell yes.” Keith agrees emphatically.

“Maybe I can teach you how to use chopsticks during tonight’s tutoring session.” Shiro muses.

“Don’t hold your breath, superman. You’re good, but not that good.”

Shiro grins. “Stick around, I may surprise you.”

Keith looks up at him with what seems to be fond exasperation. “You know, I might just have to do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is both good and bad at taking care of himself. I think this is seen to be true in canon. But Shiro is good at helping.
> 
> All you have to do is stay a minute  
> Just take your time  
> The clock is ticking, so stay  
> \- Stay, Zedd and Alessia Cara


	3. Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again. Some progress is made in terms of Keith trusting Shiro, and a gift is given.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Keith gets better at physics, slowly but steadily. He still hates it with every fiber of his being, but Shiro can tell he’s having an easier time than he was. In fact, Keith’s having an easier time with a lot of things nowadays.

Shiro keeps his promise to help with science, though Keith does better with that than with math. And after gentle prodding, he has Keith promising to come to him if he comes across something in any of his reading that he doesn’t understand. Keith is opening up to him more than he used to, so the promise is not hard to gain.

The younger pilot is obviously so much more relaxed around Shiro than he used to be, and it’s a relief to see. His shoulders no longer tense at the sound of Shiro’s voice, and he no longer flinches under his touch, though he is still careful to warn Keith if he plans to touch him.

One afternoon in February, he tells Keith that he can’t come to their usual spot in the library that night.

“I have to study for my pilot’s test. I ‘m sorry.”

Keith raises an eyebrow and takes another bite of rice from his bento. “No big deal,” he says after he swallows, “I can just come to your room. I’ll only bug you if I run into something in my homework I don’t understand.”

Shiro almost chokes on his own bite of rice. “You, you’d be willing to come to my room?”

Keith shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

“I thought you didn’t want to ever be alone with anyone.”

The corner of Keith’s lips quirk up into a smile. “Yeah, well, you’re not just anyone, now are you?”

Shiro has to restrain himself from hugging Keith, choosing to simply reach out and grip his wrist tightly instead. By the look on Keith’s face, he understands what the gesture is really conveying.

That night, Adam officially meets Keith. Keith closes himself off immediately as soon as his boyfriend comes in, but when Shiro introduces them, Keith relaxes somewhat.

“Right. Shiro’s told me about you. Uh, nice to meet you?”

Adam rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Nice to meet you too, Keith. Shiro’s done his fair share of talking about you too.”

That causes a strange expression to flicker over the young man’s face, but it smooths out after a moment. Shiro can’t help but feel like something else has shifted.

~*~

“So Keith, it’s almost the end of the year.”

“Indeed it is.” Keith says lazily. He’s half dangling off Shiro’s bed, and it still fills Shiro with warmth that Keith is comfortable being alone with him now, even though this has become a regular occurrence. Keith just shows up, even when he doesn’t have any work to be done, simply lounging on Shiro’s bed and talking about how much of an ass Iverson was being (Shiro never comments, but privately, he agrees) or anything else that comes into his head.

Shiro shifts uneasily on the bed, wondering how to best phrase this question. “Do you…do you have somewhere to go? Somewhere that’s not the house?”

Keith glances up at him with that exasperatedly fond look he’s getting used to receiving. “Yeah, Shiro, I have somewhere. It’s not much, but it’s quiet and out of the way, which is perfect for me.”

Shiro raises a skeptical eyebrow. Keith groans and rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Shiro. Stop by if you feel the need to make sure I don’t die.”

“Would you mind?’

“Feel free.”

So he does.

The first Saturday of their summer break, Shiro takes his bike and drives out into the desert that surrounds the Garrison and the large town nearby. He follows the instructions Keith gave him and arrives at a small shack in the middle of nowhere.

When he sees it, he raises his eyebrows skeptically. The building old, and tiny, and worn-looking, not much of a home, really. He sets his helmet down on the seat of the bike before walking to the door and knocking. Several minutes pass without a response, so Shiro knocks again. This time he hears rustling and something hitting the floor with a loud thump before the door is pulled open and Keith is blinking up at him blearily.

“Shiro what the fuck are you doing here?”

“You told me I could come visit.” Shiro reminds him.

“Yeah but why are you here so early?”

Shiro gives him a blank look. “Keith, it’s almost ten.”

Keith scowls. “Yeah, early.”

Shiro rolls his eyes. “Can I come in?”

Keith grunts but steps out of the way. Shiro glances around the tiny area with a raised eyebrow. There’s a bed shoved in a corner with the covers thrown hastily back. Behind the bed is a rickety cabinet stacked with old radio equipment. Against the other wall is a ratty old couch with Keith’s jacket tossed over one of the arms. There’s a desk and chair at the foot of the bed, and on the other side of the main room is a kitchenette. A closed door that probably leads to the bathroom is situated between the two sides.

“I lived here with my dad.” Keith says in answer to the questioning look Shiro shoots him after his brief glance around. “He left it to me. Technically I won’t actually own it until I’m eighteen, but what are they gonna do? Arrest me for trespassing on my own property?”

Shiro shakes his head, brow furrowing. “I guess not. But it can’t be good for you to spend all your time out here by yourself.”

“Trust me, Shiro, after being packed like a goddamn sardine in that house, this is a luxury. And you know I prefer being alone.”

Shiro frowns. “Even so. Come out and get breakfast with me? It’ll make me feel better if I know you’re not completely alone.”

Keith smirks. “You’re so adorable when you worry. Okay, fine. Let’s go.”

Shiro blinks rapidly, but decides to ignore the comment. When they step outside, Keith goes a little bit nuts. “Is that a fucking hoverbike!?” He hurries over and coos over the engine and design for a few minutes until Shiro urges him onto it.

“Yeah, my parents gave it to me a couple years ago when I turned eighteen.” He tosses Keith the spare helmet and pulls his own on. “Come on, let’s go.”

And so begins their new routine. Shiro shows up every morning and drags Keith out to eat. Then they’ll wander around the town, or go back and hang out at Keith’s shack. Sometimes Matt will meet them in town and spend the afternoon with them. He and Keith get along well enough, which pleases Shiro to no end. Keith is still hesitant to come meet Shiro’s family – despite his mother constantly asking Shiro when he’s bringing Keith over – or join him and Matt for dinner at the Holt’s, but it’s still progress that Keith is willing to hang out with someone other than Shiro.

The beginning of the summer passes in a pleasant haze. Keith opens up more and more, starts to trust Shiro in a way he clearly hadn’t before. He freely touches Shiro, playfully shoving him or falling asleep against him. And he never flinches when Shiro touches him anymore, warning or not.

The first time he’d done so, Shiro had arrived to the shack to find Keith sitting on the roof with his back to the older pilot. Shiro had climbed up, but Keith hadn’t seemed to hear him, so he’d placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. He’d frozen when he realized what he’d done, but then Keith had glanced up at him and smiled.

“Hey, superman. Didn’t hear you come up.”

He had been completely relaxed, and completely ignorant to the fact that Shiro had touched him so suddenly. And he continues to be comfortable with sudden touch. He’d like to think that means a lot, for Keith.

Apparently, it does.

~*~

The conversation happens when they’re only a few weeks into summer. It’s strange, it feels like it’s been forever. Keith has come out of his shell so much in such a short amount of time, it’s amazing. It’s more progress than he’d made in their entire year at the Garrison. Shiro wonders if it has anything to do with the fact that it’s just the two of them out here, in the relative safety and solitude of the desert.

“So tomorrow’s my birthday.” Keith says. They’re sitting on the roof, valiantly ignoring the baking sun shining overhead, and eating the bento that Shiro’s mom made for them.

 _“From what you’ve told me, he needs to eat more, and if he won’t come here, than you need to take the food to him.”_ She had said as she’d handed them to him when she'd visited last.

Shiro blinks and turns to face the younger man. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Keith shrugs and takes another bite of rice with his chopsticks (Shiro had indeed managed to teach him how to use them, a feat for which he had received a fond headshake and a mutter of “fucking superman”). “I sorta forgot. It’s not like it’s ever been a huge deal. It was never really a thing, to celebrate at the house. Maybe when we were little we’d get a cupcake but that was about it. There was never any money for a real celebration. But I figured you’d want to know. You seem the type to want to celebrate those kinds of things.”

Shiro’s jaw tenses. Every time he hears more about the place Keith grew up, he hates it just a little more. “Well you’d be right. Is there anything you want?”

Keith shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.” He looks out into the distance, as though trying to find an answer to Shiro’s question in the shifting grains of sand. “I think it’ll be enough to just have someone remember, for once.” He says eventually, voice quiet, and Shiro’s heart clenches. “But you know, whatever.”

When Shiro gets home that night, he goes to sit at his desk and look out the window, deep in thought. Keith has never had anyone give him anything, not on his birthday, not ever in general. And he doesn’t expect anything, but Shiro is determined. He’s going to make Keith’s seventeenth birthday a good memory, rather than a day he’d rather forget. The only problem is what to get him.

Keith wasn’t one to want frivolous things, but Shiro doesn’t want to get him something that’s strictly practical. He wants to give him something meaningful. Something he could hold onto and remember that it meant someone cares. He thinks about what he knows about Keith, what he might appreciate, and is suddenly struck with an idea. He grabs his phone and calls his uncle.

“Ji-san? It's Takashi. I need your help.”

~*~

The next day he shows up to Keith’s with a stack of bento.

“Your present from my mom.” He explains at Keith’s raised eyebrow. “Since my present for you won’t be ready for another few days, she figured she should send something. Happy birthday, by the way. Should have said that first.”

“Well, thank you. And thanks to your mom.” Keith says with a startled look, like he’s surprised Shiro remembered even though he’d only told him the day before. They spend the day hanging out as usual, then Shiro insists on taking Keith out to dinner, where he surprises him with cake that the waitstaff bring out. Keith seems unamused but eats his slice diligently. And even under the scowl, Shiro can see how much the over-the-top gesture means to him.

Two days later, Shiro shows up with Keith’s present.

“Here,” Shiro says when Keith opens the door, holding out the little cloth pouch. “Happy late birthday.”

“Can you really say it’s late when you were actually there on my birthday?” Keith asks, but opens the pouch and tips the contents into his palm.

He blinks down at the leather cord and lifts it to inspect the single, cylindrical bead strung on it.

“It’s jade.” Shiro informs him.

Keith hums and runs his thumb over it, feeling the carved lines on its surface. “What do the symbols mean?”

“It’s kanji for ‘courage’.”

Keith looks up at him with an unreadable look on his face. “Where did you get it?”

“I made it. My uncle is a jeweler, so he helped me carve it.” Shiro shrugs. “You seem the type to appreciate something handmade.”

“I am.” Keith says quietly. He slips the cord over his head and fingers the bead where it rests between his collarbones. “Thank you Shiro. This is…really nice.” He glances back up and smiles hesitantly. “You’re a good friend.”

Shiro’s eyes widen, and then he grins. “Friends, huh?”

Keith huffs and crosses his arms. “Well, we are, aren’t we? Isn’t that what all this is?” He gestures between them.

“Absolutely.” Shiro confirms. He regards Keith for a moment, then hesitantly asks “Can I give you a hug?”

Keith looks startled for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yeah, yeah go ahead.”

Shiro steps forwards and pulls Keith into a tight hug, setting his chin on the top of his head. Keith doesn’t tense, but he holds very still, before slowly his arms come up to wrap around Shiro’s middle and the older pilot smiles.

“Thank you, Shiro. For everything you’ve done.” Keith mumbles against Shiro’s shoulder.

“I hope I can keep doing more.” Shiro says honestly.

Keith’s shoulders shake as he laughs. “Anything’s possible with you involved, superman. Anything at all.”

~*~

Shiro and Adam are fighting again. It seems like they’re always fighting these days. Shiro had come home from a meeting with Admiral Sanda and Commander Holt, about the possibility of going out on more deep space missions. Adam doesn’t want to hear it. He thinks it’s too risky, that any more missions in deep space would leave him a wreck, or maybe kill him.

“You know how important this is to me!” Shiro says weakly, watching Adam carefully where he’s seated at their dining table. Shiro should probably get up from the sofa and go to him, but god, he’s just so _tired_ of having this same fight over and over. “It’s worth the risk.”

“Takashi, how important am _I_ to you?” Adam says through gritted teeth, standing and planting his hands on the table.

“That’s not fair.” Shiro protests. “You know I love you.”

“Do I? Do I really? We’ve hardly spent any time together in months! We haven’t had sex since the start of the summer, because you’re always _too tired_ after spending all day with Keith! Is there something you’re not telling me, Takashi?”

Shiro glares at his boyfriend. “He’s _barely seventeen_ , Adam. And in case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been very happily in a relationship with you for three years.”

“Really, now? Because I have to wonder.” Adam takes a deep breath and looks out the window. “I have been with you through _every_ mission, _every_ drill. Since our first days at the Garrison. But this… this is more than a mission. This is your life.”

“Are we arguing about Keith, or about me going back to space?” Shiro grits out.

“Both! …Wait. No, no, it’s,” Adam sighs and turns back to Shiro. “I get that you’ve befriended the kid, and maybe it was wrong of me to assume,”

“Way beyond wrong.” Shiro snaps. “I would _never_ cheat on you.”

“Be that as it may, you two do spend a lot of time together. And, I was already upset about the missions, so I just added Keith to it, and that was wrong. So I’m sorry for that. But, I am not willing to budge on this, Takashi. If you go out to space again, it could _kill_ you.”

“It’s my life, Adam.” Shiro says quietly. “And if you really love me, you would want to support me. And one more mission won’t kill me. _Two or three_ more missions won’t. I’m fine for at least five more years, and even then, I’ll only _start_ to feel symptoms. I can go out for a while yet.”

“And waste your last few good years?”

“It’s not a waste if it’s something I love doing.” Shiro murmurs. “Why is that so hard to understand?”

Adam says nothing.

“Is it because, because you won’t be with me? Because you’re, what, _missing out_ on my last few ‘good’ years? Is that all that matters to you?” Shiro says weakly.

“No.” Adam snaps, but Shiro can see the uncertainty in his eyes. “It’s, every time you go, I wonder what state you’ll be in when you get back. I can’t do that again.” He says firmly. He sighs and sits back down in his chair. “I know I can’t stop you. No one can stop you from doing anything. But, if you do go, I won’t be here when you get back.”

Shiro freezes, staring at his boyfriend in shock. “Are you… giving me an ultimatum? Either stay grounded for the rest of my life, or, or you’ll leave me?”

Adam’s jaw clenches. “Yes.”

Shiro takes a shaking breath and puts his head in his hands. “I see.” He says quietly. “Well then, I guess that settles it. I’m sorry, Adam.” He lifts his head as Adam lets out a huge sigh. The other man is smiling at him, and he stands to cross the room, sitting next to Shiro on the sofa and takes his hands gently.

“I’m sorry too. I hated to give you that kind of choice, but I couldn’t think of anything else. I know you’ll be upset for a while, but you’ll see eventually that this is for the best.”

Shiro shakes his head slowly. “No, Adam, that’s not why I was saying sorry.”

Adam’s brow furrows, and that’s what really confirms it for him. Adam gave him this ultimatum with no doubt in his mind that Shiro would choose him. Looks like he doesn’t know Shiro as well as he thinks he does.

Shiro sighs and squeezes his hands. “I’ll pack a bag now. You can keep the apartment, I don’t mind moving back home. I’ll come back this weekend to get the rest of my things.”

Adam’s eyes go wide, and he looks scared. “Wait, wait, Takashi, no-”

Shiro shakes his head, and feels tears welling in the corners of his eyes. “I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.” he whispers.

“Takashi,” Adam chokes out.

Shiro shakes his head again and leans forward, pressing his lips to Adam’s forehead. “Goodbye, Adam.”

Adam sits completely still as Shiro packs, and doesn’t say another word before he leaves. Shiro closes the door behind him quietly. Once he’s on his hoverbike, he considers looking back, just once, to see if Adam is watching him leave.

He doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know you know you're scared  
> Your heart, your mind, your soul, your body  
> They won't, they won't, they won't be careful  
> But I guess that you don't know me  
> Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close  
> \- Close, Nick Jonas
> 
> I don't particularly care for the song, but the words fit.  
> I know I got creative with the shack layout, but who knows what it looked like before Shiro's Lost Year. Also, I realize the semi-official date for Keith's birthday is in October, but for the sake of timing in this fic, his birthday is in May. Have a lovely rest of your week everyone!


	4. Kid Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a hell of a week, but here's some Keith and Shiro bonding and some hint to Keith's horrible past. Cheers, ya'll.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Shiro ends up going to Keith’s. The boy doesn’t say anything when he sees Shiro’s red eyes or the bag slung over his shoulder, just steps aside and lets him in.

“What happened?” he murmurs after Shiro’s dropped down onto the ratty sofa and buried his face in his hands.

“Adam and I broke up.” He whispers.

“Shit, Shiro.” Keith hisses, and sits next to him. “What the hell happened? I thought you two were solid.”

“So did I.” Shiro murmurs. He ends up telling Keith everything that happened that morning, including his meeting with the Admiral and Commander Holt, all the way through the fight.

Keith’s brow furrows. “I knew you weren’t telling me something. Muscle relaxers my ass.” He mutters.

Oh right, Keith hadn’t known about his disease.

So he tells him about that too, about how in five years his muscles will start to deteriorate and he won’t be able to do a lot of things anymore. How he’ll be in a lot of pain with little relief.

“Fucking hell, superman.” Keith sighs.

Shiro huffs a laugh. “You’re really still going to call me that? After what I just said?”

Keith rolls his eyes and smiles a little. “I don’t call you superman because of your muscles, Shirogane.”

Shiro smiles.

“But seriously, fuck Adam. That was really fucked up. I’m glad you broke up with him. If he isn’t prepared to be with you after the shitty stuff, he doesn’t deserve to be there for the good stuff.” Keith is fuming, and Shiro’s not sure he’s ever seen Keith this fired up.

“You want me to go punch him? I will, and I’m really good at punching.”

“I’m aware,” Shiro laughs shakily. “And I appreciate the thought, but don’t get in trouble because of me.”

Keith gives him a long, thoughtful look. “You’re worth it.” He says a moment later.

Somehow, that makes Shiro feel better than he has in a long time.

~*~

The summer passed quickly, more quickly than Shiro would have liked. Clearly Keith feels much more at ease when it’s just the two of them, he hates to imagine Keith feeling like he has to clam up again when they get back on base. Keith tells him he’ll be fine, but Shiro has his doubts.

After his break-up with Adam, the two of them had grown even closer, and Shiro doesn’t want to lose that. He cares for Keith a great deal. In fact, he and Matt are the only things that got him through the heartbreak. He wants to make sure that if Keith needs him, he’s there.

“If anything happens, if anyone gives you a hard time, you tell me, and I’ll help you deal with it.” He tells Keith as they’re driving up to the front gates. Classes start in two days, and dorms are open once again. Shiro is helping Keith move in while also moving into his new single room.

The younger cadet rolls his eyes. “I can handle a couple assholes myself, Shiro.” He mutters, absently playing with the jade bead around his neck.

“I know you can, but you don’t _have_ to anymore. I want to help you. Let me? Please?”

Keith shoots him a sideways glance, then sighs and nods curtly. “Fine.” He side-eyes Shiro a little more intensely. “But let me know if you change your mind about wanting me to punch Adam. I don’t mind getting in a little more trouble.”

Shiro rolls his eyes fondly. “Again, I appreciate the thought, but Adam is on a mission to Mars’s colony right now anyway. Won’t be getting back until next year. So, thanks, but no.”

“Ugh, fine.” Keith sighs dramatically, and it makes Shiro smile.

The gate guards wave them in, and they park, walking up to the west campus dorms.

“Shouldn’t you go track down your room? I’ll be fine for a few minutes.” Keith tells him as they climb the stairwell of their building.

“Actually, my room’s up here too.” Shiro tells him, showing him the email, he’d been sent.

“You’re our new floor warden? Figures.” Keith snorts, then glances at the room number. “You’re right down the hall from me,” Keith says, surprised. “Well, at least now I don’t have to go far when I start panicking about physics.”

Shiro is quietly pleased at this discovery. He can check up on Keith much more easily this way.

They get to Keith’s room and the boy keys in the access code, groaning when the door swings open and he sees another person’s things already there.

“Ugh, I was hoping to beat him here.” He mutters, walking to the empty bed and setting his backpack down.

“You have the same roommate as last year, right?” Shiro asks, setting down the box he’d been carrying.

“Yeah. He’s an ass, but tolerable, for the most part. At least it’s not _Griffin_.”

Shiro helps Keith unpack, then the younger pilot insists on helping him as well.

“You don’t have to.” Shiro tells him, but Keith just snorts.

“I know. You’d never ask anything of me,” he says with a small smile, “but I want to.”

Shiro doesn’t protest again.

~*~

A week into classes, Shiro wakes to screams. He sits bolt upright and is confused for a moment, because he knows there’s no one else in the room, as he has a single now. He squints into the darkness, wondering if maybe it was in his head, and then it happens again, and this time he recognizes the voice. Keith.

Shiro throws off the covers and yanks the door open before bolting down the hall to Keith’s room. He punches in the access code and pulls the door open to see Keith’s roommate cursing and holding his hand and Keith curled up in the corner of his bunk, trembling. Shiro strides forwards and grabs the other cadet, turning him so he can see his face. The hand he’s holding is bleeding.

“What happened?” Shiro barks. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith flinch.

“The crazy fuck attacked me is what happened!” The cadet says, bewildered. “He was having one of his stupid nightmares, so I tried to snap him out of it, and when he woke up he freaked and fucking _bit me_.”

Shiro breathes harshly through his nose in an attempt to calm himself so as not to shake this idiot cadet. “One of? He’s had nightmares before?”

“Yeah, every fucking week last year! I so did not sign up for another year of this shit. I’m gonna get no sleep because of this assho-!”

“Cadet,” Shiro barks. “Enough.”

The guy seems only then to realize who he’s talking to. “L-Lieutenant Shirogane, sir, I’m sorry, I-”

“Enough.” Shiro repeats. “If you’re so worried about your sleep schedule, I’ll talk to the instructors and get them to switch our rooms. I’ll room with Cadet Kogane, and you can have my single, so as not to miss any sleep.”

“S-sir-”

“I said enough. Now if you would step outside, I need a moment with Cadet Kogane.”

“Yes sir!”

The boy scurries to the door and closes it behind him, then Shiro allows himself to relax. He moves to sit at the edge of Keith’s bed but doesn’t try to touch the boy yet.

“Keith? It’s alright, it’s just me.”

“Shiro.” Keith rasps, looking up. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know that, but I wanted to. That kid was an ass. You don’t need that.”

Keith curls up a little tighter, resting his chin on his knees. “Thanks.” He then looks at Shiro curiously. “You aren’t going to ask about the nightmares?”

“Clearly if you haven’t told me already, you don’t want to talk about them. So no, I won’t ask. I’m going to go ahead and switch with your roommate. I haven’t unpacked much and I doubt he has either. I’ll sort out everything with the instructors tomorrow. Hang tight, okay?”

“Yeah.”

It doesn’t take them long at all to switch their things. The other cadet is bright red with embarrassment throughout the entire ordeal. _As he should be._ Shiro thinks darkly.

By the time things are settled, Keith has uncurled and is under his covers again.

“Thanks for this, Shiro. I mean it.”

Shiro shrugs and slides under his own covers. “I didn’t really care about getting a single anyway. They just gave it to me because they favor me.”

Keith grins. Shiro can barely make it out in the dark. “So you finally admit to that, huh? Matt’ll be pleased.”

Shiro hums and closes his eyes. “Sleep, Keith. I’ll talk to Iverson in the morning.”

“Okay.” There’s a moment of silence before Keith speaks again, much quieter this time. “Thank you Shiro.”

“Anytime.”

~*~

The next morning, Shiro goes to Iverson and gets everything sorted. He seems oddly pleased that his two “ace pilots” are spending so much time together. When he tells Keith, he seems relieved.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the idea of waking you up constantly, but at least it is just you.” Keith shrugs and takes another bite of rice.

“Your old roommate sounds like a real dick.” Matt snorts. He’s started joining them for lunch. “I wish Shiro’d kicked his ass.”

Keith makes a considering noise. “I mean he kinda did, verbally.”

“Should’ve been physically.”

“You know that’s not Shiro’s style.”

Shiro can’t wipe the pleased grin off his face. His two best friends are getting along. It makes him feel good.

“You’re such a dork.” Matt snorts when he sees Shiro’s expression.

“But he’s our dork.” Keith reminds him.

“Damn straight.”

Things continue. Shiro and Keith resume their tutoring, but now they just do so in their room. Matt drops by to help with the science, or just to hang out. Nights are spent on the roof, stargazing or talking or eating smuggled bento boxes from Shiro’s mom. The subject of Keith’s nightmares doesn’t come up again until a couple weeks later, when Shiro again wakes to screaming.

Again, Shiro sits bolt upright and turns to where Keith is thrashing in his sheets. Shiro gets up and crosses the room, sitting on Keith’s bed and taking his shoulders, squeezing gently.

“Keith, Keith it’s alright, you’re safe.”

“No!” Keith shouts, struggling harder.

“Keith, it’s me, it’s Shiro. You’re okay.”

Keith’s eyes snap open and shoves himself backwards against the wall, arms wrapping around himself. He starts mumbling and Shiro leans in, freezing when he hears exactly what the boy is saying.

“Please stop, please, I’ll do anything, just please _stop_ …”

Shiro wants to hit something.

“Keith, it’s Shiro. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Keith blinks rapidly and glances up at Shiro, eyes clearing. “Oh shit. Sorry, Shiro. Did I wake you?”

“It’s alright.”

Keith sits up slowly and rubs at his eyes. “I didn’t…say anything, did I?”

Shiro doesn’t answer, and Keith curses.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shiro asks.

Keith instantly bristles. “ _No_.” he spits, then wilts. “Please, Shiro, just forget whatever it was you heard.”

“I don’t know about forgetting,” Shiro admits, “But I won’t bring it up if you don’t want me to.”

“Thank you.”

Shiro checks to make sure Keith’s okay – “I’m fine now, superman, really” – then lays back down, staring at the ceiling for a long time, long after he hears Keith’s breathing even back out into sleep. Shiro had suspected there must be something more to Keith’s distrust of people than might have previously been apparent, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt Shiro to think about. Shiro grits his teeth. If he ever finds out who had hurt Keith, there will be hell to pay.

~*~

“Can we spar?”

Shiro looks up from his book to see Keith standing in the doorway to their room. “Excuse me?”

“Instead of tutoring tonight, can we spar? I’m doing okay in physics, and I just need to blow off some steam. Please?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They head down to the gym, which is mostly empty this time of night. They spend a few hours just throwing punches, but Shiro notices Keith becoming more and more relaxed. Eventually, Shiro pins his arms behind his back and Keith surrenders, collapsing to the floor and panting harshly.

“You okay down there, buddy?” Shiro asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“Just peachy,” Keith pants.

Shiro pulls him up and Keith just leans on him for a minute. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, just got a lot on my mind.” Keith pulls away and smiles up at Shiro. “This helped though, thanks.”

Keith continues to pull him into the gym sporadically to spar, and he always ends up flat on his back. He never seems to mind though. One night he ignores Shiro’s hand and just continues to stare at the ceiling. Shiro shrugs and sits down next to him. It’s past midnight and the gym is deserted aside from them.

“So,” Keith says after a minute. “I have a little bit of a confession.”

“Shoot.”

“The main reason I wanted to spar with you, it’s, well, it’s pretty lame.” Keith glances up at Shiro then away quickly. “I told you in the house there were a lot of kids and only two caretakers? Well that meant none of us over the age of like three ever got any attention. We never got… anyway. You know I don’t get close to people, you being literally my one exception. Matt to a much lesser extent, I guess. And you know when we met I was…twitchy. Still am, although at this point it’s purely reflex, at least with you, so, um.”

“You’re touch-starved.” Shiro realizes.

Keith barks a laugh. “The stupid thing is I didn’t even realize it until you hugged me after my birthday. I think I’d literally forgotten that was a thing people needed.”

Shiro pulls Keith up then and wraps an arm around his shoulders. Keith leans into him with an aggravated sigh. “I…probably should have just said something, huh?”

“I get it.” Shiro tells him, rubbing his arm. “You’re not good at telling people what you want, or need.”

“You’re pretty good at picking up on it though.” Keith tells him, and headbutts Shiro’s shoulder gently.

“I try. But you know you can ask me for anything. I’m your friend Keith. I want to help you.”

Keith laughs again. “I know, superman. I know.”

~*~

Shiro makes a point to touch Keith more, whenever he thinks he can get away with it. Keith grumbles every time, but always looks happy, so Shiro doesn’t stop. Matt notices and calls him a “touchy-feely marshmallow” but doesn’t say anything more on the subject. Which both of them appreciate.

Shiro is pleased to note that Keith is comfortable enough now to touch Shiro as well. He comes in one night and crosses to where Shiro is lying on his bed and drapes across his back.

Shiro turns his head to see a cloud of dark hair. “Yes?”

A muffled groan is the only response he receives. Shiro’s almost afraid to ask, but…

“So how did your physics test go?”

Another groan, and Keith shoves the paper into his hands. Shiro takes it and looks at the circled number in the corner, then he turns over so fast Keith doesn’t have time to react before Shiro has his arms wrapped around him. “A ninety-four!?”

Keith laughs and bites at his shirt. “Lemme breathe, Shiro.” Shiro releases him and sits up.

“You aced it! Keith, I’m so proud of you!” He drags Keith back in regardless of the younger’s feeble protesting.

“It’s all thanks to you, you know.”

Shiro pulls back and looks at Keith with what he knows is an absurdly fond expression. “But you’re the one who applied yourself. I knew you’d get it.”

Keith shrugs, looking embarrassed. “Yeah well, what is it you always say?”

Shiro smiles. “Patience yields focus.”

“Yeah, that. Guess that finally sunk in.”

Shiro yanks him back in and squeezes tightly, causing Keith to grunt and bite at him again. “Off.” He grunts.

“Sorry.” He sits back against the headboard and grins at Keith. “So what do you want to do tonight? We certainly don’t need to study, so whatever you want.”

Keith tilts his head in a very deliberate way, watching him evenly. “I want you to teach me something.”

Shiro blinks, confused. “Teach you what?”

“Whatever you want.” Keith answers. At Shiro’s confused look he elaborates. “You’ve spent the past year and a half teaching me what I need to learn, and some stuff I want to learn. But now I want you to teach me something that matters to _you_. Something you _want_ to teach me, not just something I have to know.” He fidgets. “That might not make any sense, but I want to learn things, Shiro. I spent so long being denied the ability to learn anything and now I want to learn _everything_. So I don’t care what it is I learn, specifically. So if there’s anything that matters to you, teach me. Because you matter to me, I want to know things that matter to you.” He laughs and leans back on his arms. “Man, that sounded so lame.”

“No it didn’t.” Shiro tells him. He leans forwards, elbows on his knees, and Keith returns his attention to him. “Nihongo o hanasu youni oshierimasu.”

Keith blinks at him. “Huh?”

Shiro grins. “I’m going to teach you how to speak Japanese.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, Keith's opening up even more and is getting all touchy. Seriously, give that boy more hugs. He needs them.  
> I took Japanese for two and a half years so I am pretty sure I conjugated that sentence correctly. If anyone who speaks it better finds a mistake, lemme know.  
> I'm gonna go ahead and say that Keith's past gets detailed next chapter, and it could be trigger-y. So heads up for that. Have a good week, everyone. 
> 
> Replace the rent with the stars above.  
> Replace the need with love.  
> Replace the anger with the tide.  
> Replace the ones, the ones, the ones, that you love.  
> Are you on fire, from the years?  
> What would you give for your kid fears?  
> \- Kid Fears, Indigo Girls


	5. In My Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, here we go. Keith talks about his past. It isn't really described in detail, but if this sort of subject matter triggers you, please, PLEASE be cautious.  
> TW: past rape/non-con and child abuse.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

“Onamaewa Koganedesu. Ninenseidesu. Watashiwa jyuunanasaidesu.”

Shiro smiles. “Good, now, do you have _any_ idea what you just said?”

Keith scowls. “My name is Kogane, I’m a second year, I’m seventeen years old. Suck it, Shirogane.”

“I don’t think you said that last thing, but the rest you got right.” Shiro laughs.

Keith frowns at him for a minute, crossing his legs and leaning forwards on the bed. “Hey, Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your first name?”

Shiro blinks. “You…don’t know?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Literally everyone here calls you Cadet Shirogane or Shiro. Matt calls you Shiro. You even _introduced yourself to me_ as Shiro when we met. How would I know?”

Shiro tilts his head in consideration. “I guess you have a point there.”

“Is it like a secret or something? Are Japanese people not supposed to tell anyone their first name? We’ve known each other for a year, man, come on.”

Shiro shakes his head. “It’s not a secret, it’s just everyone calls me Shiro, except for my family. My name is Takashi.”

Keith tilts his head in consideration. “Takashi.” He says slowly, testing the name. “Huh. I like it. Suits you, somehow.”

“Well I’m so glad my own name suits me.” Shiro teases. “Now, let’s start you on ta-form.”

Keith groans.

~*~

Keith’s nightmares are really starting to worry Shiro. He has them at least once a week. More, if the times Shiro wakes to here Keith panting and muttering “calm the fuck down” to himself mean anything. And the times he does wake Keith up, it always takes a few minutes for Keith to realize where he is, that he’s safe, and the things he says in that fugue state do not sit well with the older pilot.

Tonight is the worst it’s ever been, and Keith isn’t even saying anything yet. He’s screaming bloody murder and ripping his sheets at the seams, tears streaming down his face. Shiro can barely lay a hand on him he’s thrashing so much.

“Keith it’s alright, you’re safe! Whatever you think is happening isn’t real! You’re okay! Keith!” Finally Keith’s eyes snap open and he violently shoves Shiro away from him, or, tries to. Shiro’s too heavy it seems, but this just seems to agitate Keith more. “No no no no no.” Keith whimpers, and curls in on himself, trying weakly to tug his wrist out of Shiro’s grasp. Shiro lets go instantly and Keith curls up into a ball, shaking.

“No, no more. God, _please_ , no more.”

Shiro’s about to say something when Keith continues.

“ _Please stop touching me_.”

Shiro freezes.

Keith does too, then very slowly uncurls himself, looking up at Shiro, eyes suddenly clear. “Fuck. Yeah you heard that. Dammit.” He sits up slowly and leans against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a very deep breath, then letting it out shakily.

“I know you must have wondered.” Keith murmurs quietly. “Why I don’t trust people. Why I don’t like people touching me. But of course you’re too aware of personal boundaries, so you’ve never asked. And I, I appreciate that. I really do. But I guess it’s time.”

“Keith, you don’t have t-”

“I know I don’t, Shiro.” Keith opens his eyes and looks at him. “But you of all people…you deserve to know. To _understand_.” Keith lets out a shaky breath and looks away. “Do me a favor and don’t say anything until I’m done, okay? I’ll never be able to finish otherwise.”

Shiro nods, mouth set in a grim line. “Okay.”

Another sigh, and then Keith begins to speak.

“I was six when my dad died. I never knew my mom, and I had no other family, so I went to the house. It should have been easy to get me adopted at that age, but my first foster home…well. The woman drank a lot. She hit me when she got mad, which was a lot, and yelled at me even when she wasn’t plastered. She’d lock me in my room and wouldn’t feed me. I was seven. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, and when I asked, she’d just hit me more.

“That would have been bad enough, but the man… at first he seemed sympathetic. He’d sneak me food if the woman hadn’t fed me or take me out for ice-cream if she was at work. But… one night he came in my room. Told me there was a fun game he wanted to play, and told me to take off my pajamas.”

Keith closed his eyes and swallowed. “I… didn’t like that game. But he came back, night after night, and he kept _touching me_. I didn’t know what to do. I knew it was strange, but I thought he was a good person. I had no idea how wrong it was. When the woman found out, she wasn’t mad at her husband, she was mad at _me_. Said it was my fault for ‘tempting’ her husband. So she sent me back to the house. They didn’t believe me when I tried to tell them about what happened. They’d sent kids over there before, and _they’d_ never said anything was wrong, so I _must_ have been making it up for attention. They didn’t even try to listen.

“I didn’t go to another foster family until I was ten. I was scared and so I made a fuss when anyone tried to take me. I earned a reputation as a ‘troublemaker’. But then, a couple came in, and they already had three other foster kids, and were apparently working on adopting the oldest, so I thought they’d be okay. That they’d be safe. I looked up to the other kids. They were all older than me, and I thought they were so cool. I thought they liked me too… until they brought me out into the woods and put me down in the well. The parents didn’t find me until the next morning. They knew about my reputation, and the other kids told them I’d _wanted_ to go down, said I bullied them into lowering me in, and the rope must have ‘slipped’ after they’d left. I’ll bet you can guess who they believed. So, I went back.”

Keith pauses for a long time, but Shiro waits. Finally Keith takes a ragged breath. “When I was fourteen,” He begins, voice quiet. “A single father came in. One who’d fostered for them before. Said his son had just left for college. Needed some noise in the house. So they gave him me. He-”

Keith’s voice cuts off. Another long pause.

“He raped me.” He says, voice numb. “Every night. And I knew this time, what was happening. And it was so much worse than when I was a kid. So much worse.”

Keith swallows and he closes his eyes again, the corners of them becoming wet. “When I’d been there a month, he invited his buddies over, to ‘share’. They passed me around like…like a goddamn _party favor_.” His breath hitches, and he wipes at his eyes. “I got out the next morning while they were still passed out drunk; slipped out of my restraints and just, _ran_. I wound up making my way to a hospital. They patched me up, then called one of the caretakers at the house to come get me.”

Keith suddenly lets out a scornful laugh. “Even then, she still didn’t believe me. It was all ‘boys don’t get raped’ and ‘you must have led him on’. Led him on, I was _fourteen_.”

Another shaky breath. “They were all arrested, put on trial. The guy’s son came forwards and said his dad and his buddies did the same thing to him and a couple of the other kids he’d fostered. They’re all in prison now. But even after all that? The caretakers still said it was my fault. That I always acted out, that I demanded attention, _‘so you got attention Keith, doesn’t feel so great, does it?’_ I stopped trusting people after that. At that point I knew no matter what I said or did, no one would ever take my side. And if they did, it was only to _use_ me. Everyone who wanted to ‘help’ really just wanted to hurt. And I lived that way, until I met you.”

He pauses for a moment, biting his lip, then finally glances up at Shiro. “Okay, I’m done.”

There’s a long tense pause, and then the sounds of a thump and a crack that Shiro doesn’t comprehend at first. Keith curses and lurches forwards. “Shiro what the fuck!”

Shiro looks over to see where his right fist is now jammed against the wall. The plaster is cracked, and his knuckles are bleeding. Huh, when did that happen.

“God knows that’s not gonna help your muscles! You probably just broke every bone in your hand you idiot!” Keith is scolding him.

“Good.” Shiro doesn’t recognize his own voice at the moment. Apparently neither does Keith, because he looks up, worried.

“Shiro?”

“I am not a violent man. You know this.” Shiro says quietly. “But if I _ever_ find any of the people that hurt you, _I will kill them_.”

Keith’s expression softens, and he pulls Shiro’s hand away from the wall, holding it gently between his own. “I’m okay, Shiro. It was a long time ago.”

“You’re _seventeen_!” Shiro hisses. “It had barely been two years when we met! God, Keith, no wonder you didn’t trust me then.”

“But I do now.” Keith says firmly. “Shiro, do you realize how big that is? _I trust you_. I never thought I’d be able to trust anyone ever again. But then I met you, and you wanted to help, and you never wanted anything in return. You tutored me, you fed me, you made sure I wasn’t alone. You have done more for me than anyone ever has, and have never wanted anything in return, and I trust you. That is _everything_ to me, okay?”

Shiro breathes harshly through his nose and covers Keith’s hands with his uninjured one. “Okay.”

“Now, can I please take you to the infirmary?”

“Probably a good idea, yeah.”

Keith gets him up and headed towards the door. “I may call you superman, superman, but you aren’t actually invincible.”

Shiro smiles and stops walking so he can pull Keith into a loose embrace, setting his chin on Keith’s shoulder. “I realize now how much it means, that you trust me. Thank you.”

Keith hums and leans into him. “No, Shiro, thank _you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I! Hate! Myself! For! Writing! This! I don't know WHY my brain told me this is why Keith hates people, or why there's so MUCH abuse, but there you have it. We can probably all relate to Shiro wanting to kill people. This chapter makes me sad (also it's short but I couldn't really add on to the end of it without detracting from the seriousness of Keith's confession) so I'm probably going to post the next (also short) chapter in the next day or two, for my own sake if nothing else. Have a good rest of your week, everyone.
> 
> When the clouds will rage and  
> Storms will race in  
> But you will be safe in my arms  
> Rains will pour down  
> Waves will crash around  
> But you will be safe in my arms  
> \- In My Arms, Plumb


	6. Never Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's super short chapter 6 because the last chapter made me sad and I saw Infinity War today finally and that made me SADDER so have some fluffy random moments.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

“Shiro for fuck’s sake, stop hovering, I’m _fine_.” Keith snaps.

Shiro winces, leaning away from the younger cadet. “I was doing it again?”

“Yeah, and it’s stupid. I’m fine. No one here is gonna attack me, and even if they do, I know how to defend myself now, so please, superman, _back the fuck off_.”

“Sorry, Keith.”

He _has_ been hovering for the past few days, ever since Keith told him about his past, but he can’t help it. He wants to make sure Keith never has to go through anything like that ever again. Matt keeps eyeing him like he’s insane and must have asked a dozen times about why his hand was in a cast (he fractured all of his fingers in three different places) but Shiro hasn’t breathed a word. It’s Keith’s story, not his.

Keith still has his nightmares, but it’s slightly easier for Shiro to snap him out of them now. He sits with Keith while he's still coming out of it and remind him where he is. That the culprits are in jail and can’t touch him anymore. It helps ground the younger man just a little bit faster. Shiro still wishes he could have gotten his hands on the bastards who hut Keith, which is a surprising notion for him. He had been honest when he told the other cadet he wasn’t a violent person, but he thinks those scum would be the exception.

“I know you’re only doing it because you care.” Keith sighs, rubbing his face. “And I appreciate it, Shiro, I do, but I could do without the helicopter-parent routine.”

Shiro leans back, and only then realizes just how close he had been to the other cadet.

“Sorry.”

Keith gives him that now familiar fondly exasperated look. “I know, Shiro.”

Then Matt pops up out of nowhere. “Did you do the thing again? Did Keith yell? Was it funny?”

 “I did. He did. Probably.” Shiro shrugs and shifts his chair back to a reasonable distance.

Keith rolls his eyes and picks at his bento. “So what did the instructors want to talk to you about, Shiro?”

The instructors had called Shiro into a meeting early that morning. It had been an…intervention of sorts. Not for him, for Keith. Everyone knew by now that Shiro was the closest thing Keith had to family, so when one of his teachers was having a problem with him, they went to Shiro. Turns out, _all_ of them were having problems with Keith.

He was doing well in all of his classes, and he was shaping up to be one of the best pilots the Garrison had ever seen, but apparently he had…issues, with authority. Given what Shiro now knew, that wasn’t so surprising. It was honestly pretty understandable. But if Keith wanted to avoid getting reprimands and possibly getting kicked out, he needed to learn how to reign in his anger.

Shiro thinks he might have a solution.

~*~

“Tai Chi?” Keith asks with a raised eyebrow. “Damn, talk about ‘patience yields focus’.”

Shiro shrugs. “You told me to teach you stuff that meant a lot to me.”

The younger cadet gives him a skeptical look. “Uh huh, and this has nothing to do with the meeting you had with the instructors, telling you to get me to keep my temper in check or risk a disciplinary hearing?”

“Well,” Shiro says, “It’ll be helpful for that too. You don’t seem like the kind of person who could sit still through meditation, and something tells me therapy is off the table.” Keith affirms this with a loud snort.

“They tried to make me see one after The Incident. After I got the fourth one to quit, they stopped trying.”

“That’s what I figured. We could try yoga, but I thought this would be more your speed. It is a martial art, after all.”

Keith nods. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m all for it, but can you please tell me why we’re doing it up here on the roof at six AM? It’s an hour before our first class, Shiro.” He whines.

“It’s best done early. Now come on.”

Keith sighs and gets into position next to Shiro, following the slow movements as Shiro coaches him. After a while he makes a humming noise. “This is…kinda nice.”

Shiro grins. “Told you.”

Keith complains about being exhausted for the rest of the day, but he does seem calmer. Even Matt notices, accusing Keith of being a clone.

“No way you’re Keith Kogane,” he says, pointing his fork at the younger cadet. “You are way too chill. Shiro must have switched you out. Or maybe drugged you.”

“Shut it, Holt.” Keith growls, but there’s no real heat behind it.

They continue to meet every morning on the roof of their building, and every day, Shiro watches Keith. He thinks this is the most relaxed he’s ever seen the younger boy. Keith still grumbles about waking up early, but once they get up on the roof, he looks peaceful, happy, safe.

“I know you’re probably getting tired of me saying this,” Keith murmurs one morning, their movements slow and steady, heartbeats in sync. “But I’m going to say it anyway: thank you Shiro.”

Shiro glances over at Keith, who is very determined to look at anything but Shiro. “What for this time?” Shiro asks quietly. It seems wrong to raise their voices in the stillness of the morning.

Keith hums rather than shrug, glancing over at the older pilot. “For everything.”

Shiro smiles softly. “There’s not much I wouldn’t do for you, Keith.”

“I believe that, superman. I really do.”  Keith laughs softly, and Shiro just stares at him with a dawning realization. Keith is beautiful. Here, in the early morning light, muscles shifting under his shirt and expression relaxed, smiling easily. He’s completely and utterly beautiful.

To be honest, he’s always beautiful. Shiro swallows and looks away, a tight feeling growing in his chest.

He can’t. He can’t do this. He can’t feel this way for Keith. He doesn’t need that. He trusts Shiro, and he can’t just…he can’t.

But later, when they’re headed back to their room to get into uniform and Keith looks up at him and smiles so openly, leaning over to bump their shoulders together as they walk…

It’s hard for Shiro to remember why.

~*~

One afternoon, Shiro commandeers an extra hoverbike and takes Keith racing out in the desert. Keith had been stressed and Shiro had been stressed and it seemed like a fantastic idea at the time. But now Shiro realizes he’s accidentally flirting with Keith as he taunts him to keep up. And he _definitely_ shows off when he makes the jump off the cliff.

He can’t be mad at himself about it, when Keith finds him again, beaming up at him and gushing about the jump, saying how cool it was and “how did you do that?” Shiro plays it off like it’s no big deal, like he’s done it thousands of times rather than five.

“Do you think I’m ready to try that?” Keith asks.

“What do you think?” Shiro asks, smiling over at the younger man.

Keith frowns, but then smiles slightly. “Maybe I should be patient and keep focusing on the basics first.”

Shiro beams. “Oh, you’re learning.” He looks out at the desert and frowns a little. “You really grew up out here, huh?”

“Yep. Just me and my Pa.” Keith says quietly, leaning against Shiro’s side.

“He was a fireman, you said?”

“Yeah. He was a real hero. Everyone told him not to run back into that building, but, you couldn’t tell him anything.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” Shiro murmurs, and Keith smiles a little, pressing against his side a little more firmly. Shiro basks in the contact for a few moments before wincing, pulling down his sleeve to look at the display on his wristband.

“You okay?” Keith asks, looking up at him in concern.

“Fine, just, some days are worse than others.” Shiro sighs, crossing his arms again.

Keith frowns and takes his arm, rubbing at his wrist under the band. “Don’t overdo it too much on my account, okay, superman?”

Shiro melts a little, and tilts his head to rest his cheek on top of Keith’s head. “Okay.”

Fuck, he’s in love.

~*~

So Shiro may or may not be falling in love with Keith Kogane. The realization is both enlightening, and terrifying.

He knows with full certainty that even if he _is_ falling for his friend, that he will never act on it. Keith is too important to him, and he means too much to Keith to risk making things awkward between them. The younger pilot needs him as a friend, he doesn’t need Shiro complicating matters by feeling things that are unwanted. And he knows they’re unwanted. He’d asked Keith once about past relationships, to which he’d gotten a shudder.

“None. I just, I _can’t_. After everything that’s happened in my life, I could never trust anyone like that. I could never let myself be that vulnerable. And _relationships_ inevitably lead to _intimacy_ of some kind, whether sexual or otherwise. And after… after… there’s no way I could have trusted someone the way I would have needed to.”

He’d gone on to say that the thought of that sort of intimacy _scared_ him. He’d whispered it, probably hoping Shiro wouldn’t hear, but of course he had. So he knows full well to never mention anything he feels to Keith. That knowledge is only reinforced when he wakes to Keith’s screaming from across the room. At least in the past several months, he’s found a way to snap Keith out of his memories quickly.

Shiro rolls out of his bed and crosses the room, kneeling next to Keith’s bed and taking his hand carefully. “Keith,” he murmurs, and the younger man twitches.

“Daijoubudesu. Anatawa kokode anzen. Karerawa anata o kizutsukenai. Watashiwa sorera o sasenai.”

It had been an accident, the first time he’d spoken Japanese while trying to draw Keith out of a nightmare. Keith had been screaming and sobbing and wouldn’t let Shiro touch him, and he’d slipped into it without even realizing, he’d just been so worried. It had pulled Keith back quicker than anything ever had, to both their great surprise.

Their working theory is that the language is so dissonant from what his mind remembers of those events that he can latch onto the difference and use it to remind himself of where he really is. Or something. Shiro doesn’t care what the reason is, he cares that it _works_.

He keeps speaking quietly for a few more moments before Keith jolts awake, panting harshly.

“Shiro?” He whispers shakily.

“Right here.” He squeezes the hand he still has wrapped in his own and Keith sighs, squeezing back briefly.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

He wants to lean in and press his lips to Keith’s forehead, maybe climb into the narrow bunk beside him and hold him close until he stops shaking. But he doesn’t, instead simply keeping a grip on Keith’s hand until he falls back asleep.

And if he ends up falling asleep sitting next to the bed, still holding Keith’s hand protectively in his own, well, no one needs to know about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pining Shiro is great. We need more Pining Shiro in our lives.  
> What Shiro is saying to Keith: "It's okay. You're safe here. They won't hurt you. I won't let them."  
> Again, fairly sure I translated it right but if I didn't, feel free to point out my mistakes.  
> I'll be back with Chapter 7 on Sunday probably. Have a good weekend, everyone! 
> 
> Take the color from your eyes  
> I bleed for you, I bleed for you  
> Bring the broken back to life  
> We'll make it through, we'll make it through  
> Never again, never again  
> Time will not take the life from me  
> \- Never Again, Breaking Benjamin


	7. Alone Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for feelings. I have both my finals tomorrow, but why study when I can post Sheith instead?   
> Also, Shiro is a sap. No one is surprised.

Summer comes much more quickly this time it seems. Before Shiro knows it he and Matt are graduating. Shiro can see his family and the Holts squished together in the audience. His siblings and Matt’s sister whooping loudly. Keith is sitting way away from all of them, and he doesn’t make any noise but when Shiro catches his eyes his whole face lights up. Shiro tries not to be absurdly pleased. After his sisters try to force him to introduce them to Keith for around an hour, his family leaves, knowing they’ll see him at home shortly.

As soon as they depart Keith materializes out of the shadows and hugs him. Ever since the night Keith came clean about his past he’s been a lot more carefree in his affections, which Shiro is happy about, for more reasons than he wants to think about when Keith headbutts his shoulder like a content cat.

“Congrats.” He says, voice muffled where he’s pressed into Shiro’s shiny new dress uniform. “Really. Top honors and everything. Way to go, man.” Shiro wraps one of his own arms around Keith and the other comes up to ruffle the boy’s hair.

“You do know this isn’t goodbye, right?” He asks softly and feels Keith tense in his arms.

“I know. But I’m gonna miss having you around.” He bites at Shiro’s shoulder and the older pilot releases him. Keith pulls back, brow furrowed. “It’s gonna be lonely without you. Never thought I’d say that. Never thought I’d ever feel lonely. This is your damned influence, Shirogane.”

Shiro smiles and brushes Keith’s hair back. “You won’t be alone, Keith. I’m not leaving the Garrison.”

Keith blinks. “Huh?”

“I’m staying on to teach the advanced flight sims. Which actually means you’ll be in at least one of my classes. I’ve also arranged it with Iverson so that I can still stay in the dorms and be your roommate.” Shiro’s face darkens. “I don’t want you to have to deal with another mess like with your last roommate.”

Keith blinks rapidly, and Shiro realizes he’s blinking away tears. “You absolute perfect moron.” He says, laughing weakly. “How are you always five steps ahead of everything?”

Shiro grins. “Like you said, I’m superman.”

“Moron.” Keith says again, but he’s smiling. He headbutts Shiro again and then disentangles himself, stepping back. “Can I expect you at the shack at a godawful hour in the morning? Only a few weeks and it’s legally mine so you can stop twitching.”

Shiro hums. “Well I’d hate for you to fall behind in your routine.”

“Great. Six AM, here we come.”

“I think I can let you sleep in a little over the summer.” Shiro laughs. “How’s eight?”

“Better.” Keith concedes, then he ducks in and hugs Shiro again. “See you then.” He says, then darts away into the dispersing crowd.

Shiro shows up the next morning at seven fifty-nine, just to screw with him.

“I hate you.” Keith growls, blinking up at him.

Shiro grins broadly and shoulders his way into the shack. “No you don’t!”

“Yeah, I really don’t.”

They do their hour of Tai Chi then meet Matt in town for breakfast. It’s nice, familiar. Except for the way Keith keeps brushing their shoulders together, sending electric tingles up Shiro’s arm. He tries to ignore it.

~*~

He fails to ignore it. Over the next several weeks, their routine remains the same, but every time they stop, Keith touches him. A hand on his arm or another one of those weirdly adorable headbutts or biting his shoulder (Shiro has discovered over his acquaintance with Keith that this is a normal show of affection for him). Sometimes he’ll not want to go out and throw himself down on top of Shiro on the small sofa, preventing him from getting up. Those times are the worst, or maybe best, depending, because Keith always falls asleep like that, curled in Shiro’s lap, head tucked in the crook of his neck.

Then there are the phone calls he receives in the middle of the night, Keith’s voice shaky and quiet over the phone, asking Shiro to remind him of what’s real. It’s led to more than one instance of Shiro hopping on his bike and arriving to the shack at three AM to calm Keith down, and he always ends up falling asleep on the sofa, hand gripping Keith’s tightly to reassure the younger man that he’s not alone. This is their new routine, not so very different than when they are at the Garrison, but it feels like so much more. Keith is always so much more open when it’s just the two of them, and Shiro… Shiro’s having trouble keeping his emotions bolted down.

So he tries to break their routine, if only just a little. Just to give himself a break. He shows up at Keith’s the day of his birthday and tells him they’re going to the water park.

“Is this my present?”

“Part of it, but I haven’t figured out what I actually want to give you. If you have any ideas, let me know.” Shiro shrugs. Keith’s hand flies to his neck, fingering the jade bead Shiro gave him last year. As far as Shiro knows, he hasn’t taken it off since.

Keith shakes his head and drops his hand. “You’ve already given me more than enough, Shiro. Hang on a minute, let me change.”

Shiro doesn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed when Keith comes out in a wetsuit.

“Wave pool.” Keith says, in explanation to Shiro’s raised eyebrow. “My suit would get tugged down otherwise.”

“You know this from experience?” Shiro asks, tossing Keith his helmet.

“We took a class trip there when I was eleven. I got lost for two hours and just hung out in the wave pool until they found me. It was nice.”

Turns out the water park was a bit of a misstep in his effort to derail his pull towards Keith. They camped out in the wave pool for a long time (Keith was right, Shiro had to constantly hang on to his swim trunks, all while said cadet laughed his ass off) then hit as many rides as Shiro could stomach. Finally, he taps out and they end the day in the lazy river. Keith hums and leans back, letting Shiro steer them along.

“Thanks, Shiro. Great birthday.” He tilts his head towards Shiro then and smiles tiredly, reaching out to run his fingers through Shiro’s wet hair. Shiro swallows and ducks his head, careful not to dislodge Keith’s hand.

“Anytime.” He says quietly. The happy exhausted look on Keith’s face…

Yeah. Big misstep.

~*~

Two days later, he gives Keith his present.

Keith opens the door and blinks at the small gift bag Shiro shoves in his face.

“Happy late birthday.”

Keith rolls his eyes and tugs Shiro inside, snatching the bag out of the older pilot’s hands and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Not late if you were there,” he mutters, smiling. He pulls out the tissue paper as Shiro takes a seat on the couch, and blinks down at what’s in the bag, pulling the soft pieces of leather out and examining them curiously.

“Gloves?”

“To protect your hands when we spar. You refuse to wear wraps, so I figured this could be our compromise.”

Keith huffs and runs a thumb along the leather. “These are… really nice.”

Shiro shrugs. “I got an advance from the Garrison, figured it should go to something important.”

“Important, huh?” Keith murmurs, tugging the gloves on and flexing his fingers, watching the gloves pull and shift over his knuckles.

“You’re one of the most important things in my life, Keith.” Shiro says quietly, taking one of Keith’s now covered hands. “I thought you knew that.”

Keith sighs and glances up at Shiro, smiling slightly. “I know, superman. I know.” He squeezes Shiro’s hand, and god he wants to pull him close, hold him, tell him that he’s not just one of the most important things, that he’s so much more than that. But he doesn’t.

So he just holds on a little tighter. Keith never asks him to let go.

~*~

The more Shiro tries to ignore what he feels for Keith, the more he feels it. He’ll think he’s got it under control, and then Keith will laugh, or smile at him, or fall asleep on him, and Shiro’s gone again. It’s driving him insane.

And Keith is starting to notice.

“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet for the past few days.” He asks on a warm night in early June. They’re sitting on the roof of the shack, watching the stars twinkle overhead.

“I’m fine.” He says, smiling tiredly. “Just got some things on my mind. Don’t worry about it.”

Keith hums. “If you need to talk…”

“I know, Keith. But really, I’m okay.”

“Alright.” Keith concedes. They sit in silence for a long time after that.

“I wanna go up there.” Keith says eventually, still gazing at the stars. “Always have. When I was little, I thought that if I could just get up into the stars, then maybe my life would get better. Now I wanna go because whatever’s out there has to be better than what I’ve got here.” He pauses and glances over at Shiro. “Well, I thought that until I met you.”

“You don’t want to go anymore?” Shiro asks quietly. Keith shrugs.

“I do, but now I wanna make sure I take you with me.”

Shiro smiles and pulls Keith against him without thinking about it. Keith goes easily. “One day we’ll be up there together, exploring all those points of light.”

“Good.” Keith murmurs, curling tighter against him. “I wouldn’t want to be up there without you.”

“Same here.” Shiro turns his gaze back towards the lights, wondering when he’ll get to go up there with Keith, wondering what it is they’ll find.

~*~

It’s the following morning that things finally shift between them.

They wake up late, still on the roof, and absolutely baking in the desert sun.

“Fuck,” Keith hisses as they slide down to the ground. “I’m boiling.”

“Let’s go to the shade before we start.” Shiro suggests, pointing to the one lone tree in Keith’s backyard. They reach the shade and Keith sighs.

“Bless my dad for being so damn stubborn about growing a tree in the desert.” He grunts, and then peels his shirt off. Shiro freezes, staring in shock. In all the time he’s known Keith, he’d never actually seen the younger pilot shirtless. He had wondered why. Now he knew.

Keith had scars. Not a lot, but they looked bad enough that it didn’t matter how many there were. There was a particularly nasty looking one in the bend of his waist that Shiro knew must pull when Keith trained. Keith looks up when Shiro gasps, then looks down at himself, eyes wide. “Oh shit. I completely forgot.”

“Keith,” Shiro breathes.

Keith glances up at Shiro hesitantly. “It’s really not as bad as it looks. They just kinda pull sometimes. Only this one,” he gestures to the one Shiro had spotted, “ever still hurts, and that’s only when I’ve been dumb and over-exerted myself.”

Shiro continues to stare. The scars are all old, and for the most part, well-healed. It’s the assumption of where he got them that makes them so horrific. Shiro thinks of the woman at Keith’s first foster home and the kids who trapped him down a well. His hands clench into fists.

“Come on Shiro, can we please just, not? It would be very unhelpful if you broke your hand again. I’m still not good at driving the bike without tossing everyone around and you’d get dizzy and it would hurt and it just, wouldn’t end well.”

Shiro huffs a laugh. “Yeah, yeah okay. Come on, we’re already late starting as it is.”

Keith nods, and surprisingly, keeps his shirt off. Shiro ends up staring at him the whole time. Now he can actually see Keith’s muscles moving under his skin, the pull and release as he moves. His skin is paler than Shiro had thought, but it made sense if Keith never took his shirt off. It made the dark leather and pale green of his necklace stand out. All in all, he’s even more beautiful than Shiro had thought possible. He was doomed.

When they stop, Keith looks over and smirks ruefully. Shiro freezes. He’d been caught staring, dammit.

“I know, I know, I look pretty awful.” Keith teases, and maybe it’s the way Keith sounds so resigned, or maybe it just refuses to stay in any longer but Shiro, without thinking, replies.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

Keith’s eyes widen and Shiro freezes. Oh no.

“You-”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro says, stepping away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, well, I _did_ mean, but I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I’m so sorry Keith, I didn’t mean to…I didn’t say it to force you into responding or anything like that, it just kind of got away from me. I’m so sorry, the last thing I wanted to ever do was make you uncomfortable around me…”

“Shiro!” Keith says, exasperated. It sounds like he’s been repeating his name for a while.

Shiro risks glancing back up at Keith, who looks partly amused, and partly unsure.

“You think I’m beautiful?” He says in a quiet voice.

Shiro’s brow furrows. “Of course I do. Keith, you’re amazing. You’ve been through so much and you’re still standing, still moving forwards, despite everyone telling you that you can’t. Everything about you is beautiful to me. I wish I was half as strong as you.”

Keith shakes his head slowly. “Shiro, no, no you’ve got it all wrong. You’re the amazing one.” He looks away from Shiro and clenches his hands into fists. “You _care_ , Shiro. You care about me. You didn’t know me, in the beginning, but you were worried about me because you are a _good person_. And I was _horrible_ to you, but you kept coming back anyway. After what happened to me, I never thought I’d trust anyone ever again. But I trust you, Shiro. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this close to anyone, but now I look at you, and I feel…I feel…do you…?”

He looks back up, eyes pleading for Shiro to say… _something_.

Shiro steps forwards and curls his fingers around Keith’s biceps, leaning forwards until he can press their foreheads together. “Yes, I do.” His hands slide up Keith’s shoulders and neck to cup his face gently, and Keith laughs, bright and breathless, and covers Shiro’s hands with his own.

“Good.”

Shiro grins and presses harder against Keith until he laughs again and pulls away. Shiro lets him. “Come on, we can’t stand out here all day.”

“I think I could stay out here forever with you.” Shiro confesses, and Keith shakes his head in that fondly exasperated way Shiro’s grown used to.

“Sap.”

“Only for you.” He murmurs, and Keith laughs again, breathless, before finally tugging him inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing about the wave pool is true, man. I never wear a two piece in the wave pool if I can help it.  
> But hey! Feelings were admitted! That should be fun, right? I know it's gross and sappy but I like it that way, dammit. Keith deserves it after the shit he's been through.  
> Have a good week ya'll, and congratulations to those of you who have finished your school year!
> 
> I don't know where you're going  
> But do you got room for one more troubled soul?  
> I don't know where I'm going  
> But I don't think I'm coming home and I said  
> I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead  
> This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end  
> \- Alone Together, Fall Out Boy


	8. Love Me Like You Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back! This is technically two days late and I'm really sorry, but I had two final papers due by midnight tonight. But everything is in so have some boys being snuggly.

“So, Shiro, can I ask you something?”

Shiro hums in assent. They’re laying side by side on Keith’s bed, facing each other. Shiro is trying to memorize the lines of Keith’s face, tries to burn it into his memory.

_(he won’t find out until much later that he succeeded)_

Keith raises an eyebrow in mild exasperation. “So, we just confessed our feelings to each other in a very dramatic moment, under a tree and everything.”

Shiro smiles. “Yes?”

“So why the hell haven’t you kissed me yet?”

Shiro hums and presses their foreheads together again. “Because you haven’t told me I can.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “I think it’s pretty safe to assume you can, Shiro.”

“No.” Shiro tells him gently, brushing a lock of hair out of Keith’s eyes. “I’m never going to assume with you, Keith. From here on out, the ball is entirely in your court. You have all the power here. You decide what happens, when it happens, if it ever happens at all.” Shiro’s face goes serious then. “You’ve had your choices taken away from you too many times. I can’t fix what happened before we met, I know that, but I can try to give you some of those choices back now. So everything that happens between us? Always, _always_ your choice.”

Keith blinks in that rapid way he does when he’s trying to fight back tears and laughs shakily. “Fucking superman complex.” He murmurs. Then he leans in and presses his lips to Shiro’s.

Shiro hums and wraps an arm around Keith in invitation and the younger pilot moves into it eagerly, pressing up as close as he can along the length of Shiro’s body. They keep it chaste, for now, and eventually Keith pulls away and buries his face in Shiro’s neck.

“Shiro?”

“Hm?” He asks, trailing his fingers gently along Keith’s bare arm.

“Can I…can I call you Takashi? At least when we’re like this.”

Shiro ducks down briefly to kiss the mop of black hair beneath his chin. “Of course you can. You can call me whatever you want to, baby.”

He feels Keith’s grin against his neck. “Baby?”

“Too much?” Shiro questions.

“I like it.” Keith murmurs.

“Alright then.”

Keith squirms and Shiro lets him go, watching curiously as he props himself up on his arms. “Sometimes I can’t believe someone like you actually exists.” He says quietly. “Like, one day I’m gonna wake up and you won’t be here. I know it’s dumb, but, this is a little unreal.”

Shiro brushes Keith’s hair back from his face gently and tugs him back down, huffing when Keith digs his chin into Shiro’s chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. I’m just not used to good things happening, I guess.”

Shiro starts to say, _something_ , but Keith stops him. “Don’t. No more homicidal ranting, please. Remember what I said about the bike.”

Shiro grins and tugs him closer. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Yes, please, shut me up.”

Shiro laughs and ducks down to press their lips together again, and Keith sighs into his mouth, body relaxing into Shiro’s hold. Shiro allows his hands to run slowly down Keith’s sides until he’s gently thumbing at the scar on Keith’s waist.

“Will you tell me about them?” He asks quietly.

Keith hums in consideration, eyes fluttering open slowly. “Not now,” He says softly. They’re still close enough that Keith’s lips brush his as he speaks. “But one day I will.”

“Okay.”

Keith smiles and kisses him again, a little more forceful than before. He props himself up so he’s half-hovering over Shiro, arms braced on either side of his chest.  His pleased hum turns into a groan as Keith nips at his bottom lip, soothing over the sting with his tongue. Shiro wants to flip them, to pin Keith beneath him and ravage his mouth until the other boy can barely breathe. He wants to, but…

Shiro pulls back slowly, laughing at the quiet whine the action draws out of Keith’s throat. “Easy, baby, we’ve got all the time in the world.”

“And I would like to spend that time kissing you, but apparently, you have other ideas.” Keith growls.

“There’s…” Shiro pauses and Keith frowns, sitting up properly.

“Shiro?”

“I said that you have all the power here, and I mean that. But even still, I need to know if there’s anything specifically that I should make sure to avoid.” Shiro laces their fingers together and pulls their joined hands to his chest, over his heart. “I don’t ever want to risk doing anything that would send you back there.” He adds quietly.

Keith is quiet for a minute before nodding. “Probably a good idea, yeah.” He lays down again and Shiro turns back onto his side so they’re facing each other again. 

“I can’t deal with my hair being pulled.” He starts, frowning. “God knows I should probably cut it in that case but fuck it, I like it like this, so just, don’t pull it, ‘kay?”

Shiro nods, rubbing his thumb on the back of Keith’s hand where they’re still laced together.

“Oh, and, don’t ever call me pretty.” At Shiro’s alarmed look he adds “It’s that word, specifically. You calling me beautiful isn’t going to set me off.” Here, he blushes, and _oh_ , Shiro can’t wait to get him to do that again. “I…actually kind of liked that, but that’s beside the point. Avoid the word ‘pretty’ and you’re good on that front.”

He waits until Shiro relaxes again to continue. “Don’t ever restrict my hand movement. Holding hands,” he raises their entwined fingers for emphasis, “is fine, great, even, but holding my hands in place or pinning them down isn’t. I need to be able to move them. Also, not that this is an issue quite yet but covering all my bases, I cannot be the only one completely naked.” He looks away as he says this. “That just brings up way too much bad shit that I do not in any way want to think about.”

Shiro did not want to think about that one himself. Really, he didn’t want to think about any of them.

“And the last one really should be a no-brainer, but I’ll say it anyway: I don’t like pain. At all. You’re exceedingly gentle with everything that you touch, but it still warrants mentioning.” He sighs and presses his forehead against Shiro’s shoulder in a facsimile of a headbutt. “That’s all I can think of at the moment. If something else comes to mind, I’ll let you know.”

“Alright.”

“ _Now_ can I kiss you?””

Shiro laughs but tugs Keith back up, unsurprised when Keith growls and crushes their mouths together.

That’s how they spend the rest of the day, making out lazily on Keith’s bed like a couple of teenagers. Neither of them are complaining.

~*~

Shiro had had to return home that evening, but he was back at the crack of dawn, slipping into the shack with the key Keith had given him at the end of last summer and slipping under Keith’s covers to curl around him as he slept. Keith tenses briefly when Shiro first touches him, but relaxes instantly at Shiro’s hushed greeting.

“I don’t even want to know what time it is.” Keith grumbles, but turns over and buries his face in Shiro’s chest. Shiro hums quietly and trails his fingers slowly up and down Keith’s bare back, making him shiver and press closer against Shiro’s chest.

“Hush, go back to sleep.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of Keith’s head.

“Stay?” Keith mumbles tiredly, fingers curling in the front of Shiro’s tank top.

“Always.”

Keith smiles at that before falling back to sleep, Shiro deciding to join him. Upon awaking, they resume where they left off the day before. Although now, Shiro has _plans_.

“Keith,” Shiro murmurs, trailing kisses along Keith’s jawline.

“Hm?”

“Do you trust me?”

Keith gives him that fond exasperated look. “You know I do.”

Shiro nods. “I want to do something. Lay back.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, but does as Shiro asks, lying flat on his back and staring up at Shiro expectantly. Shiro nudges Keith’s legs apart so he can kneel between them, watching Keith carefully, but Keith doesn’t tense. He leans forwards, bracing his hands on either side of Keith’s head.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” He says, and Keith nods, eyebrow raising again in question. Shiro smiles and leans down to kiss Keith’s forehead, then his cheeks, down his neck until he can bite gently at the other boy’s throat. Keith gasps and tilts his head back, giving Shiro more access, and he hums, pleased. He continues to mouth at Keith’s neck for a minute before continuing down, fingers lifting to trace the lines of muscle under Keith’s skin firmly.

Keith sighs, and melts into the mattress, seemingly content to let Shiro do as he pleases. Shiro hums, pleased, and then ducks to the side to press his mouth against a dusty pink nipple.

Keith gasps, hands tightening in the sheets, but holds utterly still otherwise as Shiro opens his mouth, letting his tongue curl around the bud lazily. He can feel Keith’s muscles twitch under his fingers as he strokes his sides soothingly. Keith, however, does not seem to want to be soothed.

“Oh fuck that’s…”

“Sensitive?” Shiro purrs, sealing his mouth over the flushed skin and sucking gently.

“Yeah,” Keith chokes, one hand releasing the sheets to thread through Shiro’s hair. Shiro hums in encouragement and closes his teeth gently around the nub, causing Keith to curse and arch up into the contact. One of Shiro’s hands trails up the boy’s chest, thumb stroking over the neglected nipple sharply.

“Fuck!” Keith hisses, hand tightening in Shiro’s hair.

“Good?” Shiro hums, kissing across Keith’s chest to replace his hand with his mouth.

“Yeah.” Keith pants. Shiro pulls away and begins kissing down Keith’s chest and stomach, nuzzling the soft skin he finds there.

“Ta-” Keith cuts himself off, then looks confused as to why he cut himself off. Shiro hums and drags his fingers down Keith’s sides slowly.

“It’s okay, baby, you can say it.” He murmurs, kissing Keith’s stomach again.

Keith closes his eyes and sighs. “Takashi,” he breathes.

Shiro pulls himself up and kisses Keith, relishing the startled gasp he receives. The hand still in his hair tightens again and Keith’s other arm moves up to wrap around Shiro’s neck.

“Say it again.” He says roughly, nipping at Keith’s jaw.

Keith groans and his head thumps back on the pillow. “Takashi.” He murmurs, smile curling the corners of his mouth.

Shiro makes a low sound in the back of his throat and kisses Keith again, loving the way Keith pulls him down so all his body weight is pressing on the boy below him.

“This is okay?” Shiro asks.

“It’s you.” Is the answer he receives. Keith ducks to bite his shoulder, something he’s done dozens of times, but this time Shiro feels it differently. The intent behind it is different. “And you,” Keith continues, mouth still pressed against the cotton of Shiro’s tank top, “You make me feel safe.”

~*~

Shiro continues to map out Keith’s upper body with his mouth and hands, and all the while Keith is making pleased noises and digging his fingers into Shiro’s shoulders. He keeps gasping Shiro’s first name, and the more he uses it, the more Shiro likes hearing it.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Keith groans a while later.

Shiro laughs and pulls on his over shirt, tossing Keith’s shirt in his general direction.

“Why?” Keith asks, holding the shirt and looking up at Shiro.

“Because we haven’t eaten at all today and you have no food here.” He crosses the small room to pull Keith to his feet. “Come on. Lunch time.”

Keith sighs but pulls on the shirt and grabs his jacket. “You suck.” He says.

“Not yet.” Shiro says absently, then stills.

Behind him there is a beat of silence, then Keith bursts out laughing. “Was that…was that a fucking sex joke!?”

Shiro covers his face with his hands and groans. “I’m so sorry. It’s my sister’s influence, I swear.”

Keith continues to howl behind him, and Shiro turns in time to see him fall back on the bed, arms wrapped around his ribs. “Oh my god, Shiro, you really are going to be the death of me.” He gasps out.

“Sorry,” Shiro says again, and Keith gets himself under control, rising from the bed again and stepping forwards so he can take Shiro’s face in his hands.

“Hey,” He says, one eyebrow raising. “Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for every little thing. Especially not for something as innocent as _that_. You don’t have to act like your walking on eggshells around me, Shiro. Yes, some horrible people did some horrible things to me, but you aren’t them, and I know that, okay? So don’t apologize.”

Shiro nods and bows his head so he’s leaning on Keith’s shoulder.

“I know you’re worried about hurting me,” Keith continues, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “But you’re not going to, okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro says, voice muffled.

“Good. Now, I believe you said something about food.”

~*~

They ride into town and head to their go-to diner, only to be stopped by Matt.

“Where the hell were you two!?”

Right, they had meant to meet Matt yesterday for lunch. Whoops.

“I tried calling you a dozen times, Shiro! You guys had me worried.”

“Sorry Matt.” Shiro says sheepishly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith smirk. Oh no.

“Sorry, Holt. We were a little preoccupied.”

Matt raises an eyebrow, then seems to notice their linked hands.

“Oh motherfucker, you finally bit the bullet and kissed him.” He says, looking at Shiro.

He sputters. “What!?”

“Oh please, it was so glaringly obvious you were head over heels, even when you first met him.”

“Was it!?”

“Yeah, it was pretty gross.” Matt turns to Keith then. “Congrats, and good luck. He’s surprisingly a handful.”

“Oh I’m aware.” Keith shrugs, grinning. Matt squints at him.

“I can’t tell if that was innuendo or not.”

“It wasn’t meant to be, but I’m sure it is.”

Shiro really wants to be anywhere else at present.

“Times like these remind me why I like you, Kogane.” Matt snickers. “But really, I’m happy for you. Shiro really cares about you.”

Keith smiles and squeezes Shiro’s hand a little tighter. “I know.”

Matt contemplates the shorter boy for a moment. “I find myself wanting to hug you.”

Keith blinks, but, to Shiro’s surprise and pleasure, nods slowly. “Okay.”

Matt grins and pulls Keith in for a quick hug. “Aw yeah, level two friendship.”

“Is that what this is?” Keith asks dryly, but hugs Matt back.

They pull apart and Matt beams. “Okay, now, let’s go get food.”

Shiro can’t stop grinning throughout lunch, much to the amusement of Keith and Matt. “You get to deal with that all the time now.” Matt tells Keith. “Like, he’s gonna look at you like that, _all the time_.”

“Yeah.” Keith says fondly, playing with Shiro’s fingers on the table.

Matt shakes his head. “Fuck, the two of you are going to be insufferable.”

Shiro laughs. “Probably.”

“Great. Just great. I’m going to attempt to not see either of you until the honeymoon period is over. Jesus Christ.”

~*~

When they get back to the shack, Keith pins him to the bed. Shiro raises an eyebrow and settles a hand on Keith’s waist. “Can I help you?”

“Just wanna return the favor.” Keith hums, tugging at the hem of Shiro’s shirt. “Off.” Keith leans back so Shiro can sit up and peel his tank top off, tossing it towards the couch then settles back against the pillows. Keith hums and trails his fingers across Shiro’s bare skin.

“I was so tempted to do this at the water park.” He admits quietly. “Having you in front of me shirtless all day, it was really hard to ignore.”

“It was hard for me too.” Shiro admits, relaxing under Keith’s wandering fingers.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “I was covered from the neck down in a wetsuit. That doesn’t exactly scream ‘attractive’.”

Shiro shakes his head. “It wasn’t that. You were so happy. I’d never seen you so relaxed, and that was such a good look on you. I always want you to look that at ease.”

“You’re such a sap.” Keith murmurs, then bends down to kiss him.

~*~

They continue in a similar fashion for several weeks. As soon as Shiro steps into the shack now his shirt comes off and he climbs in bed with Keith.

“You’d think I’d be over the touch-starved thing by now.” Keith grumbles one morning as Shiro gets in bed. As soon as Shiro settles, Keith turns and buries his face in the older pilot’s neck, arms wrapping around his waist.

Shiro hums and closes his eyes, relishing the feel of the warm body in his arms. “What, it’s not just because you like touching me?”

“Well, there is that.” Keith says, biting Shiro’s neck gently. “But I didn’t think I’d still feel so desperate for it.”

“You’ve hardly had any positive skin-contact in your entire life. It’s understandable.”

“Maybe.” Keith sighs, pressing closer. “Or maybe it’s just you.”

Shiro huffs a laugh. “Not everything can be ‘just me’, Keith.”

“Shut up, Takashi.” Keith’s been using his first name casually more and more often, and it pleases Shiro to no end.

“Okay.”

Later they get up and do their hour of Tai Chi, and then meet Matt in town. Despite what he’d said, he’s been spending just as much time with them as before they got together.

“So my dad’s talking about a huge mission the Garrison’s gearing up for.” He says as he joins them at the table.

“What mission?” Keith asks, poking at his eggs.

“Apparently they want to send a small team out to Kerberos!”

“They want to send people out to Pluto’s moon?” Shiro’s eyebrows raise.

“Yeah! My dad’s being put in charge of the team. Should be super small, maybe two other people, someone to help my dad with the science, and someone to fly them out.” He glances at Shiro then. “They might, ah, be considering _you_ for that, man.”

“No way.” Shiro says flatly. He sees Keith freeze in the corner of his vision. “I just graduated. There’s no way they’d pick me for something that big.”

Matt must have noticed Keith’s reaction as well because he just shrugs. “Probably, but my dad said your name had been mentioned.”

“What are they hoping to find out there anyway?” Keith cuts in, cutting off the topic of the pilot.

Matt shrugs again. “They want to get some samples, see if there’s any indications of life on other planets.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “They’re sending people to the edge of the solar system to look for proof of aliens.” He deadpans.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“What the hell is Iverson doing.” Keith sighs.

Shiro grins. “What, you don’t believe there’s life out there?”

“I do, but I don’t think we’re anywhere _near_ ready for that introduction. We still can’t deal with different skin tones properly, how the hell are we gonna deal with a whole other race?”

Matt points his fork at Keith. “He has an excellent point.”

“True enough, but just because we’re going to start looking doesn’t mean we’ll find anything yet.”

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “Okay, but don’t come crying to me when we get invaded by aliens we accidentally piss off.”

~*~

They stay out with Matt for most of the day, because they have sort of been absorbed in each other lately. Throughout the day Shiro will see Keith reach out for him, then withdraw, and Shiro is mildly concerned. He doesn’t seem to have a problem when Shiro reaches for him, though, so he decides to wait until they get back to the shack.

Upon entering the shack, however, Shiro is forcefully shoved down onto the couch with a lapful of Keith preventing him from getting back up. Before he can say anything, Keith claims his mouth in a bruising kiss that leaves Shiro breathless for several moments.

“Keith?” He gasps out when Keith moves down to suck a bruise into his neck. “Are you okay?”

Keith _growls_ in response, shifting slightly so he’s properly straddling Shiro’s lap. Shiro’s hands fly to Keith’s waist when he suddenly rocks his hips forwards, punching the breath out of Shiro’s lungs.

“Keith?”

“Shut up, Takashi.” Keith tells him before kissing him again. Shiro groans, arms tightening around Keith’s waist and bucking up into the pressure Keith is putting on him. Keith gasps, fingers digging into Shiro’s shoulders and he tries one more time to get an answer.

“Keith, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he pants, face pressed into Shiro’s neck. “Please.”

It seems that’s all the answer he’s going to get at present, so he grabs Keith’s hips and tugs him down sharply, both gasping at the sensation, and _fuck,_ Keith is hard. That more than anything gets his own cock fully there. Keith was enjoying this, which was good, but he’s confused. They hadn’t done anything like this before. In fact, Keith always stopped them before they got to this point. Shiro had to wonder what had changed.

They continue to rock together for an indeterminate amount of time before Keith suddenly chokes and bucks forwards harshly, shaking in the circle of Shiro’s arms. Shiro groans and bucks up twice more before he feels himself spilling against the inside of his briefs.

The shack is silent apart from his harsh breathing and the sound of Keith panting wetly against the skin of his neck. He’s still shivering, so Shiro tightens his hold and runs his hands up and down his back soothingly.

“Care to tell me what that was about?” Shiro asks after a moment.

Keith whines and tucks himself further into Shiro’s neck, so Shiro lets him keep his silence a few moments longer. They can talk after they clean up, he decides, and moves his hands to wrap around the backs of Keith’s thighs. He stands with Keith still wrapped around him and walks them to the bed.

“Okay, that’s kinda hot.” Keith mumbles. Shiro snorts and sets him down before heading to the bathroom and getting a cloth damp. He ducks out the door and throws it at Keith – who catches it with a startled yelp – before he ducks back in to take care of himself. After he’s done, he rejoins Keith in the main room. Keith’s changed clothes and is now spread out on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He shifts when Shiro joins him, rolling over to face the older pilot.

“So.” Shiro says at length, raising an eyebrow.

Keith snorts. “What, I’m not allowed to want to get off with my boyfriend?”

Shiro’s other eyebrow rises to join the first. “You haven’t before now, what changed?”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to. You have to know that.” Keith sighs and rolls back onto his back. “I just needed to…get used to the idea, I guess? I don’t know, Shiro. It’s hard for me to sort out my own thoughts about sex most of the time.”

“I get that.” Shiro says gently, brushing that one stubborn lock of hair out of Keith’s face. “But I still don’t get what changed. You didn’t seem to want to touch me at all today unless I initiated it, and then we get here and you shove me down onto the couch. Did I miss something?”

“I’m not good with public displays of affection, it seems.” Keith sighs. “We haven’t spent that long in public since we got together, so I guess I just felt weird having a bunch of people around, staring. It made me uncomfortable. But I kept _wanting_ to touch you, even if I didn’t. It was extremely frustrating, so I guess as soon as I got you alone again, I got a little carried away.” He turns and smirks at Shiro. “Not that I’m particularly complaining.”

Shiro nods and raises his arm, smiling when Keith immediately moves under it and against Shiro’s side.

“I do want to be intimate with you, Takashi.” Keith murmurs, gripping Shiro’s shirt tightly. “I just…need some time.”

Shiro presses a kiss to his temple and combs through his hair slowly. “Take all the time you need, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing smut. I'm terrible at it. This wasn't even all that much. It's one of the reasons I was cool with being late with this chapter.  
> But it's going to get worse for me because the next chapter earns me that E rating. Time to panic. As an apology for being late I'm going to try and post the next few chapters in fairly quick succession, so let's hope I can actually do that. Cheers, everyone, and have a good end of your week!
> 
> You're the light, you're the night  
> You're the color of my blood  
> You're the cure, you're the pain  
> You're the only thing I wanna touch  
> Never knew that it could mean so much, so much  
> You're the fear, I don't care, 'cause I've never been so high  
> Follow me through the dark, let me take you past our satellites  
> You can see the world you brought to life, to life  
> So love me like you do…  
>  \- Love Me Like You Do, Ellie Goulding  
> (Though in this case I listened to the cover by Sam Tsui and Alex Goot)


	9. Kiss Me Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I'd be back soon.  
> I edited the hell out of this and have gotten it to an okay place in my mind. I hope it is at least semi-acceptable.  
> (Don't mind me while I panic about this being out on the internet now. Oh god.)  
> Enjoy the fluffy smut, ya'll.

It would seem that once the floodgates are open, Keith is insatiable. To an extent.

He’ definitely more open with what he wants, when he wants it, but is still extremely hesitant about losing anything more than their shirts. Shiro is fine with this, as he keeps assuring his agitated boyfriend.

“Keith, really, it’s fine. I get it.”

“I just know it has to be ridiculously frustrating for you.” Keith says, burying his face in the pillow between them.

“ _I get it_. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.”

Keith’s shoulders shake as he laughs. “Fucking superman.” He says fondly.

Keith seems to relax after that. They spend a lot of time with Matt because he’s decided he’s fine with them being “mushy and gross”, and he even comes out to the shack a few times.

“Just so you know, I haven’t told my family about you two.” He tells Keith when they’re all sitting up on the roof.

Keith blinks at him. “Uh, thanks?”

“I asked him to keep quiet.” Shiro explains. “If the Holts know, they’ll let it slip to my family, and if my family finds out, they will insist on meeting you, and I know my sisters would find a way to tail me out here, so.” He knows Keith isn’t ready for all that attention just yet. Keith seems to understand where he’s coming from.

“Thanks, guys.” He says quietly.

Shiro wraps an arm around his shoulders and Matt grins. “No problem, buddy.”

~*~

Summer is winding down, and the closer they get to going back to the Garrison, the twitchier Keith gets.

“I’m not going to be able to touch you at all during the day.” He complains to Shiro one night when they’re lying in Keith’s bed. “It’s going to drive me insane.”

Shiro hums and trails his fingers down Keith’s arm. “I’m sure you’ll live, baby.”

Keith grumbles and then pulls Shiro on top of him, looking up at him searchingly. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear not touching you.” He admits quietly. His hands stroke up Shiro’s back as if proving his point. “I’ve gotten too used to it.”

Shiro leans down and kisses his forehead gently. “Then I’ll just have to touch you enough for both of us.”

Keith smiles and pulls Shiro back down for a proper kiss.

~*~

It’s two weeks before they go back when Keith messages him, asking if he can come stay the night at the shack. Says he needs to see him, that he misses him. Shiro worries that something’s happened. He’d just been over there a few hours ago, but he fetches a change of clothes and tells his parents he’ll be over at Keith’s that night.

When he arrives, the shack is unlit except for what Shiro guesses is Keith’s bedside lamp, just a tiny flicker of light inside one dusty window. Shiro enters the tiny building silently and sees Keith waiting for him on the edge of the bed, shirtless and fidgeting nervously with the fraying edge of his shorts.

“You okay, baby?” Shiro asks quietly, crossing the room to kneel in front of his boyfriend.

“Yeah.” Keith croaks, then clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just, um.” He swallows thickly and still won’t look at Shiro. “I wanted to see you.”

“You saw me a few hours ago.” Shiro says, one hand coming up to tilt Keith’s chin back so he can see his eyes. “What’s the matter, Keith?”

“Nothing.” Keith says, finally looking up at Shiro. “I just realized I was tired of being afraid.” Then he leans forwards and captures Shiro’s lips in a gentle kiss. Normally Keith’s kisses are all fire and heat, and Shiro’s the one who has to gentle them. This is…new.

“Afraid?” Shiro asks softly when Keith pulls back. Keith smiles shyly and tugs on Shiro’s shirt.

“C’mere.” He says and shifts so he can lay down on the sheets. Shiro does as he’s told, following Keith down to the sheets and settling on top of him when Keith prompts. Shiro blinks down at him, still uncomprehending.

“What’s going through that head of yours?” he asks, combing Keith’s hair back from his eyes.

“I told you. I’m tired of being afraid, when I know the last thing you would ever do is hurt me. I want you, Takashi. I want you so badly it hurts sometimes. So, tonight,” He swallows and presses their foreheads together. “Tonight, I’m going to have you.”

Shiro’s eyes widen as he realizes what Keith’s implying. “Are you sure? Because you don’t have to do this, if it’s just for my sake. I would be perfectly fine if you never wanted to.”

“But I do want to.” Keith murmurs. “Shiro, all I’ve ever known about sex is that it has been used to hurt me. I never thought I would ever want it, until I met you. You make me feel things I never thought myself capable of feeling, all because I _know_ that it’s something you would never ask of me. You respect me and my choices, and that allows this to be my decision. I am sure I want this, because I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of you.”

Shiro closes his eyes and breathes deeply, hands curling in the sheets below them. “I need you to say the words.” He says, opening his eyes again. “I need to make sure I’m not misunderstanding anything. I told you, Keith, I am never going to assume with you. Tell me.”

Keith gives him that fond exasperated look, then leans up so his lips are right next to Shiro’s ear.

“Make love to me, Takashi.” He murmurs. A full-bodied shudder goes through Shiro at the words and he nods.

“Okay.”

He sits up and discards his shirt before settling back over Keith, kissing him slowly, his lips, his jaw, his throat, all the way down until he can curl his tongue around one of Keith’s sensitive nipples.

“Fuck,” Keith hisses, fingers flying to grip Shiro’s hair. “Always feels so good when you do that.” He pants.

Shiro hums and moves to lap at the other bud, causing Keith to choke on air. He takes his time, switching back and forth languidly until Keith tugs on his hair.

“C’mon, Shiro,” He murmurs, breathless. God, he’s beautiful. Shiro doesn’t deserve him.

He continues to kiss his way down Keith’s chest and stomach until he reaches his navel. He smiles and dips his tongue in playfully, causing Keith to yelp.

“Ticklish!” He squeaks and slaps Shiro’s shoulder.

Shiro laughs quietly and presses a kiss to the skin above the divot before pulling back and standing. Keith whines at the loss of heat above him.

“What are you doing?”

Shiro glances up at him from where he’d been working his belt open. “You said you can’t be the first one naked.” He says in explanation, and drops his pants, kicking them and his underwear off to the side.

Keith chokes, and Shiro climbs back onto the bed and up Keith’s body, or, tries to.

“Hang on a damn minute, let me look at you.” Keith growls, sitting up and pushing at Shiro’s biceps. Shiro laughs, but dutifully sits up and allows Keith’s gaze to rake over him.

“Damn,” the younger man breathes, reaching out to run his hands over Shiro’s thighs. “I wish I’d made you get naked sooner.”

Shiro laughs again, breathless, before leaning in and planting a kiss on the tip of Keith’s nose, making him scrunch it up.

“Can I…?” He asks softly, hands settling on the waistband of Keith’s sleep shorts.

Keith swallows, but nods. “Yeah, go ahead.”

He slowly pushes Keith back down onto his back and tugs the clothing off his hips and down his legs, tossing them into the corner. Then he stares down at the sight before him. Keith is panting and biting his lip, fingers digging into the sheets, refusing to look at Shiro. His cock is flushed pink and half-hard against his hip, and as he watches, Shiro sees one of his legs twitch as though he was going to cover himself but then stopped.

“You are absolutely beautiful.” Shiro breaths, ducking down to kiss his boyfriend breathless. Keith laughs softly against his lips, pecking them before pulling back, relaxed grin stretched across his face.

“Right back at you.”

Shiro smiles and presses their foreheads together again. “Still okay?”

“Yeah, Takashi, I’m okay. You can keep going.”

“Okay.” Shiro sits back a little and trails his hand down Keith’s stomach, gently wrapping his fingers around Keith’s erection.

“Shit,” Keith breaths, muscles in his stomach tightening.

“This okay?” Shiro murmurs, swiping his thumb through the pearly liquid beaded at the tip.

“Oh fuck, yeah,” Keith hisses, head tipping back against the pillows.

Shiro repeats the motion before stroking the swollen flesh slowly. Keith arches up and groans.

“You’re so sensitive everywhere.” Shiro marvels, leaning down to kiss and nip at Keith’s hipbones.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like anyone’s ever touched me like you do.” Keith groans. “It’s never felt good to be touched, until you.”

Shiro growls and surges up to kiss the younger man again. Keith moans, hands coming up to wrap around Shiro’s neck. Shiro tightens his grip around Keith’s cock causing him to gasp Shiro’s name.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby.” He promises, biting at Keith’s throat.

“I know,” Keith gasps. “I trust you, Takashi.”

Shiro growls again and sucks a bruise into the pale skin of Keith’s neck before leaning back.

“I’m assuming you were prepared for this?” Shiro rasps, stroking his hands up and down Keith’s thighs.

Keith nods, jerking his chin towards the bedside table. Shiro reaches over and tugs the drawer open, finding a roll of condoms and a bottle of lube. He picks up the bottle and pops the cap with his thumb. The noise causes Keith to jump, but upon closer inspection, he doesn’t seem tense at all, so Shiro just grins.

“Good boy,” he purrs, and Keith shivers.

“Takashi, please.” He gasps, legs spreading slowly and without hesitation. Shiro has to close his eyes against the rush of affection the show of trust brings to his chest.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you.” He whispers, running his free hand up Keith’s stomach carefully, causing Keith to smile up at him.

“I know,” he says again, and settles back against his pillow.

He pours some of the cool gel onto his fingers then sets the bottle aside. He trails the covered digits down the underside of Keith’s cock, relishing the way he shivers at the cool touch, then down, down, until he’s rubbing them gently against Keith’s rim. Now, the younger man tenses, breath hitching.

“It’s okay, Keith.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to the inside of Keith’s thigh. “Just me, baby. Come on, relax for me.”

Keith takes a shuddering breath, but then does begin to slowly relax his muscles. Shiro continues to rub at his hole in little circles until the tips are almost dipping in on ever pass.

“Good boy.” He hums again. “I’m going to put one in now, okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith pants, closing his eyes.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Shiro slides a finger inside. Keith tenses again, but only briefly before he relaxes again.

“Takashi,” He sighs, eyes fluttering open to look at Shiro.

“Okay?” He confirms, moving the digit in and out slowly.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Tell me when you’re ready for another, okay?”

Keith nods. “You can go ahead. It doesn’t hurt.”

Shiro nods in return, then slowly eases in a second finger beside the first. This time, Keith hisses.

Shiro’s head snaps up and his fingers still. “Am I hurting you?”

“No, no it’s just… a stretch. I’m okay, Shiro, really.”

Slowly. Shiro begins to move his fingers again, watching Keith carefully as he sighs and relaxes back against the sheets. Reassured that Keith’s comfortable again, he starts scissoring his fingers slowly and probing around for the spot he knows will make Keith see stars. He finds it a moment later.

Keith lights up like a livewire, arching up from the bed with a startled moan. “What the hell is that!?” He chokes.

Shiro smiles and nuzzles into his thigh. “That is how you _should_ be feeling.” He murmurs and presses into the spot again.

“Fuck, do that again!”

So he does. Keith rolls his hips into it, moaning and gasping Shiro’s name. Shiro’s breath is coming in unsteady pants as he watches his boyfriend squirm beneath him in pleasure. Keith is so lost to it that he doesn’t even notice when Shiro slips in a third finger.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” he murmurs after several minutes of watching Keith writhe on his fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, Takashi, _please_.”

Shiro lets out a pleased hum and removes his fingers, his own erection twitching at Keith’s disappointed whine. He sits back and reaches towards the drawer again, but Keith’s hand on his wrist stops him.

“I got them just in case.” He says quietly, blush deepening along his cheeks and down his chest. “But… can we not? I’m clean, I make sure to get tested every six months, ever since…” he shakes his head. “Anyway, I know I’m okay.”

“So am I.” Shiro affirms. “During my physical last month, I asked them to test me.”

Keith grins. “Just in case, huh?”

Shiro shrugs. “Doesn’t hurt to be cautious.” He frowns then and cups Keith’s cheek with his clean hand. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Keith breaths, leaning into the touch. “Wanna feel you.”

Shiro shivers and nods, reaching for the lube instead and pouring more into his palm. Keith leans back again and watches with hooded eyes as Shiro slicks himself up before moving back over Keith.

“Like this?” He asks, brushing Keith’s hair out of his eyes.

“Yeah. Need to see you.” Keith murmurs, grabbing Shiro’s hand and kissing his palm. “Please.”

Shiro nods, then reaches over and grabs a spare pillow. “Lift up your hips.”

Keith complies and Shiro slides the pillow beneath him so he’s slightly propped up and comfortable. Then he leans back over Keith’s body until he’s settled over him comfortably. Keith looks up at him expectantly, so he kisses the younger man’s forehead and uses one hand to prop himself up, while the other helps guide him into the tight heat of Keith’s entrance.

This is when Keith reacts, whole body tensing and eyes looking a little glazed, breath quickening. Shiro, having expected this, presses his forehead against Keith’s and stills completely.

“It’s okay, Keith. It’s just me.” He murmurs softly. “You’re safe, baby, come back to me.”

It takes a moment of continued murmuring before Keith blinks rapidly, eyes clearing. “Sorry.” He says quietly. “Sense memory.”

Shiro nods and kisses his forehead again. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine now.” He says, hands sliding up Shiro’s arms and wrapping around the back of his neck. “I know who I’m with. I know I’m safe with you.”

Shiro kisses him softly, making Keith sigh. “If I do anything to hurt you,” he murmurs against Keith’s lips, “If you need me to stop for any reason, you tell me to stop, and I stop. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighs, ducking to nuzzle into Shiro’s neck. “I trust you, Takashi.”

Shiro hums, then begins to press forwards. Keith tenses briefly, but relaxes just as quick, and doesn’t tell Shiro to stop, so he keeps going until his hips are flush against the backs of Keith’s thighs.

“Oh god,” Keith whispers, warm breath tickling Shiro’s neck.

“Keith?”

“It doesn’t hurt.” Keith says in a small voice. “It doesn’t hurt at all.”

Shiro makes a wounded noise in the back of his throat and turns his head to kiss Keith fiercely. Keith whimpers and his arms tighten around Shiro’s neck.

“You can move.” Keith gasps a moment later as Shiro ducks down to suck another bruise into Keith’s throat. “Please, Takashi, move.”

So he does. He pulls out about halfway, listening to Keith’s desperate whimper before sliding back in.

“Oh god.” Keith gasps. “Again.”

Shiro keeps it slow, just sliding in and out while Keith shudders below him. He shifts slightly, causing him to brush up against Keith’s prostate and the younger man chokes out a moan.

“Harder.” Keith groans, leaning up to nip at Shiro’s jaw. “I’m not gonna break, you know.”

“I know,” Shiro whispers, soothing the fresh mark he’d left with his tongue before pulling out almost completely and slamming back in, nailing Keith’s prostate dead on.

“Shit!” Keith hisses, arching up. “Oh god, keep doing that.”

Shiro snaps his hips forwards again and Keith bucks up to meet him.

“Fuck,” Shiro hisses, burying his face into Keith’s neck and biting.

Keith shudders, whimpering quietly, nails digging into Shiro’s shoulders.

“Feels so good.” Keith pants, rolling his hips up to meet Shiro’s thrusts. “You make me feel so good.”

Shiro lifts a hand to card through Keith’s hair, careful not to tug. “Wanna make you feel everything, baby.” He pants, kissing Keith’s jaw. “Wanna give you everything.”

Keith whimpers again, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “Takashi,” He gasps. “I love you. I love you, Takashi.”

Shiro’s eyes widen, and then he’s sitting up and pulling Keith into his lap, relishing the sharp cry he gives as Shiro gets even deeper inside him.

“I love you so much,” Shiro murmurs against his skin, one hand pressed against Keith’s back to steady him. The other snakes between them to wrap around Keith’s weeping erection, stroking in time with his thrusts. “I love you more than anything.”

Keith shudders at the touch, and Shiro can feel his stomach muscles tightening. He leans in and presses his lips to Keith’s ear. “It’s okay, baby, let go. You’re safe, I’ve got you. Come for me.”

Keith whines and tucks his face into Shiro’s neck, trembling violently as he comes over both their stomachs.

“God, baby, look at you. You look so good like this. So good for me, wanna make you feel so good…”

“Takashi,” Keith gasps, biting at Shiro’s shoulder. “Come inside me, need to feel you, _please_ ,”

Shiro growls and bucks up two, three more times before he spills deep inside Keith’s pliant body. Keith gasps at the feeling and grips Shiro even tighter, still shaking from his own aftershocks.

“Good boy,” Shiro murmurs, wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist, cheek resting against the top of his head. “Such a good boy for me. You did so good, baby, so proud of you.”

Keith hums and nuzzles Shiro’s neck languidly. “Love you, Shiro.” He says quietly. “I really, really do.”

“And I love you.” He kisses the top of Keith’s head and rubs his arms up and down his back. “So much, Keith.”

Keith sighs, going boneless in Shiro’s arms. He takes his weight gladly. “Thank you for this, Shiro. Thank you for making this a good thing.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Keith. I’m just, honored, that you trusted me enough to do this for you.”

“Only you.” The younger man whispers, fingers tightening against his back. “Only ever you.”

He pulls back to look up at Shiro, eyes shining with what looks to be joy. “I love you.” He says again, smiling softly.

Shiro nudges their foreheads together again and matches Keith’s smile with one of his own. “I love you too.” He kisses his forehead then pulls back. “Now let me get up.”

Keith makes a soft, indignant sound and buries his face in Shiro’s neck again. “Why?” He asks, and things return to some semblance of normal.

“Because we need to clean up so we can sleep comfortably.”

Keith glances down at the mess on their stomachs and grimaces. “Yeah, okay.”

He lifts Keith off him – both groaning as his softened cock slips out - and sets him down on the bed, making a quick trip to the bathroom and returning with a damp cloth that he uses to wipe off Keith’s stomach and around his tender hole. Keith gasps at the sensation but Shiro doesn’t linger, wiping off his own stomach and cock before tossing the cloth aside and climbing under the sheets with his practically purring boyfriend. Once he’s settled, he turns and switches off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness, save for the barely there light from the stars outside.

“Are you alright?” Shiro murmurs, brushing Keith’s hair back before wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Oh yeah.” Keith sighs, tucking himself against Shiro’s chest. “I’m absolutely perfect, Takashi. I, I really do love you.”

“And I really do love you, Keith, always.”

Keith grins against his neck and bites the skin there softly, before snuggling close and drifting off into sleep, Shiro following close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys, and I love the love and trust that is so apparent in their relationship. Keith deserves to be happy and safe and whole, god dammit. And Shiro is going to make sure that happens.  
> Now that the E chapter is done, I feel a lot better, and will continue to update on my regular schedule (Sundays and Wednesdays). Thanks for sticking around for this mess, and I hope to see you in the next chapter.
> 
> Oh, I'm not sure where this is gonna go,  
> But in this moment all I know  
> Is the skyline, through the window,  
> The moon above you and the streets below.  
> Hold my breath as you're moving in,  
> Taste your lips and feel your skin,  
> When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly.  
> \- Kiss Me Slowly, Parachute


	10. Waiting For Superman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I graduated so I'm updating everything because it's my way of celebrating.  
> From here on out, this is going to be mainly Keith's point of view with jumps back into Shiro's head on occasion. Because Keith has some words. Sarcastic words. And they must be shared.
> 
> So anyway here's the Kerberos mission and what leads up to it have fun bye.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Keith knew the moment he met Takashi Shirogane, he was screwed. The man was incredibly persistent, despite Keith being as openly hostile as he could manage without just punching him. But no matter how Keith acted, the man _kept coming back_. It was only a matter of time before Keith gave up and talked to the guy.

Which was a big-ass mistake. The man was sunshine-incarnate. He was so genuinely concerned, it threw Keith for a loop. When he offered to help him study, Keith thought _to hell with it, if he’s trying to get on my good side to fuck with me, he can at least be helpful_. He still insisted they meet in a public area, just in case.

But the more he got to know Shiro, the more infuriatingly _good_ the man appeared to be. He wanted Keith’s grades to get better. He wanted him to actually eat food. He didn’t want him to be fucking _lonely_. Eventually, Keith realized the man was being nice, because that’s just how he _fucking was._

Which led to mistake number two. He started liking the guy. He started _believing_ Shiro when he said he wanted to help just because. Then he started _opening up_ to the man, and it was all downhill from there. That summer, Shiro gave him a bead, and Keith gave him his trust.

Mistake number three: deciding to be his friend.  His frantic mother hen tendencies only got worse. And then he found out about Keith’s nightmares, and oh god it never stopped after that. Keith would never have believed himself capable of telling anyone about what happened to him, but lo and behold, in walks fucking Takashi Shirogane, real-life superman, and suddenly he couldn’t _not_ tell his only friend his whole sordid story. And then Shiro broke his hand. The idiot.

Thus leading to mistake number four, the biggest mistake in Keith’s book: he fell in love with Shiro. Bad fucking move. He knew all too well where that would lead, and that was something he never wanted to ever touch in his life ever again. But apparently his heart didn’t get the fucking memo.

Then came his dumb moment where he was so comfortable around Shiro he _forgot to keep his damn shirt on_ and then, well.

Turns out mistake number four? Not so much a mistake after all.

Keith was on cloud fucking nine the whole summer. He got closer and closer to Shiro, the man he loved and trusted, and the man who he finally allowed himself to be intimate with.

Which led to this morning. Keith opens his eyes and groans at the light, ducking his head down to bury into the warm skin in front of him. He wraps a leg around Shiro’s waist, and then stills, last night coming back to him.

Then he grins.

“You awake?” Shiro’s voice sounds raspy with sleep and it brings all sorts of memories to Keith’s mind. He responds by shoving Shiro onto his back and kissing him soundly.

Shiro laughs against his mouth and Keith pulls back to stare down at him. He’s giving him a look so sweet Keith swears he has cavities.

“Good morning to you too.” He teases.

“Hi.” Keith grins and ducks down to kiss him again.

Shiro pulls back and trails his fingers up Keith’s bare arms, making him shiver pleasantly. “You feeling okay?” He asks, brow tightening in concern.

“Better than.” Keith assures, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you.” He says, just because he can.

That had been geared up to be mistake number five. When Keith had said those three loaded words last night, he hadn’t been able to stop himself, but apparently, once again, he had absolutely nothing to worry about. Now that he thinks about it, none of the previous points were mistakes at all, rendering the entire list pretty fucking useless.

Shiro smiles, and it makes Keith breathless. “I love you too, baby.”

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me,” Keith informs him, “but I’m okay with it.”

Shiro hums then flips them carefully. Keith blinks up at Shiro rapidly before smirking. “I’m okay with this.” He purrs, tugging Shiro down on top of him. Shiro grunts, bracing himself with one arm so he doesn’t completely crush Keith (if he’s being honest, he would be 100% okay with being crushed by Shiro) and huffs against his neck.

“I was getting ready to ask if you felt any pain,” Shiro chides gently, propping himself up so he can see Keith’s face.

“Nope.” Keith chirps, trying to drag Shiro down again. He remains stubbornly where he is, the bastard.

“Sore?” He presses, raising his eyebrow in that “don’t bullshit me, Keith” way of his.

Keith shifts, evaluating. “A little, but it’s not anything I can’t handle.” He gives Shiro an exasperated look. “I’m _fine_ , Takashi.” He still gets pleasant shivers whenever he uses Shiro’s name. “Stop worrying so much.”

Shiro kisses his forehead and Keith melts a little. “Can’t help it.” He murmurs. “Love you too much.”

 “Sap.” Keith teases, fingers lacing into Shiro’s hair to tug him down into a proper kiss.

~*~

The day before they head back to the Garrison, Shiro sits him down for a talk.

“What?” Keith says, staring at his boyfriend.

“I said-”

“I heard what you fucking said, Shiro!” He stands jerkily and begins pacing, Shiro watching him warily from the couch. He turns and glares at the older man. “Why do you want to keep our relationship a secret?” He feels his shoulder slump and looks away. “Are you ashamed of-”

“No!” Shiro jumps up and grabs Keith’s shoulder, tipping his chin up with his free hand. “No, Keith, I love you. More than anything. If I could, I’d tell the whole world what you mean to me.”

“Then what are you playing at?” Keith mutters, still refusing to look at Shiro. He hears the older pilot sigh, then he tugs them back down onto the couch.

“I don’t want the _instructors_ to know we’re dating.” He clarifies.

“Why? They can’t tell us we can’t. There’s no rule against ‘fraternization’, and even if you aren’t a cadet anymore, I’m eighteen. They can’t do shit.” Keith crosses his arms and huffs.

“No,” Shiro agrees, pulling one of Keith’s arms free so he can take Keith’s hand in his. “But, if they knew, there’s no way they’d let me room with you. They’d make me stay in the officer’s dorms. And while normally I’d say we could deal with that…”

“You’re worried about my nightmares.” Keith murmurs, expression softening. Goddamn, this man cannot possibly be real.

Shiro fidgets with Keith’s fingers. “I don’t want you to have to deal with someone else who doesn’t get it. No one should get mad at you for something like that.”

Keith shakes his head, laughing. “You are the most ridiculous man I have ever met. And I love you so goddamn much because of it.”

Shiro smiles and lifts his hand, kissing his fingers. “Forgive me?”

“You’re an idiot.” Keith says fondly and kisses him.

~*~

Being at the Garrison and dating Shiro is way better than being at the Garrison and _not_ dating Shiro. They cram into one tiny bed in their room and there are knees and elbows everywhere but Keith has never felt better. Shiro sleeps curled around Keith, back to the room, just like in the shack. Even in his sleep he’s an overprotective marshmallow and Keith loves him all the more for it. Shiro still gets them up at an ungodly hour to do Tai Chi on the roof, but Keith can usually distract him enough so that they end early in favor of making out in the early morning light.

Also, sex with Shiro? Still the best thing ever.

“I never expected I’d ever think of sex as a good thing.” He admits to Shiro one night. They’re still sweaty and gross, coming down from the endorphin rush with unsteady breaths, but Keith doesn’t care. He crosses his arms on Shiro’s chest and looks at him in contemplation, poking at the furrow in Shiro’s brow that his words incite.

“Hush. It _is_ a good thing. I feel so close to you like this. You make me feel safe, and that is definitely a _good thing_. Thank you for showing me it could feel good.”

Shiro stares at him for a minute before sitting up sharply and wrapping his arms around Keith. Keith yelps, now sitting in Shiro’s lap, and grabs onto his shoulders.

“Shiro?”

Shiro doesn’t respond, simply tightening his arms around Keith’s waist.

“Well, I’m okay with this.” Keith says, nuzzling Shiro’s hair.

The silence lasts for several long minutes. “I know I can’t fix things for you,” Shiro finally says, not moving, “but I’m glad I can help.”

“You’ve done more than you think.” Keith tugs Shiro out of his neck and presses their foreheads together. “You’ve done so much for me. I hope that one day I’ll be able to return the favor.” He kisses Shiro briefly, then leans back, smiling. “And now I’m done being sappy. Come on, superman, let’s clean up.”

~*~

“If you two are trying not to make it obvious you’re dating, you’re doing a terrible job.” Matt informs them as he sits down across from them.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “The hell are you even doing here, Holt?” He grouses, untangling his fingers from Shiro’s under the table.

“Yes, shouldn’t you be in the labs?” Shiro says, blinking in surprise.

Matt shrugs and steals a bite of Shiro’s bento.  He knows better than to touch Keith’s at this point in their friendship, or risk losing his fingers. Now that Keith’s actually _met_ Shiro’s mom (after much coercing and reassurances it would just be his immediate family and not _everyone)_ she custom makes them for him, and they’re fucking delicious, and he will defend them fiercely.

“My dad asked me to come on for some sort of interview, evaluation thing.” Matt says, taking a bite of his own lunch.

Shiro’s brow furrows. “He asked me to come in for one too.”

Keith hums. “Is it some sort of post-graduate thing?”

“No. We get twice-yearly physicals, and regular psych evals, but this wasn’t a psych thing.” Matt tells him.

“Huh.” Keith does not like the sound of that.

“Hey,” Shiro brushes Keith’s hair out of his eyes, giving him a concerned look. “Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Fuck, you guys are so gay.” Matt sighs.

Keith throws a chopstick at him, which nails him in the forehead. He smirks.

“Keith you bully! It’s true!”

Shiro just sighs.

~*~

They are three months in when Shiro gets the news.

Keith is reclined on their bed reading, music blasting full volume from their speakers when he comes into the room and puts his back against the door. Keith turns off the stereo and crosses the room, grabbing Shiro’s arms.

“What’s wrong? Shiro?”

Shiro takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around Keith tightly. “I just got called into a meeting with Iverson and Commander Holt.” He says quietly. “I’ve been chosen to go on the Kerberos mission.”

Keith locks up.

“I know.” Shiro breathes.

“That’s great.” Keith says hollowly. “You, you _wanted_ to get another big deep space mission in, and now you’ve got one. I’m really… really happy for you, Shiro.”

Shiro huffs. “Don’t.”

Keith’s breath hitches. He can’t do this. He can’t. He is not going to break down, dammit. This is why they joined the Garrison right? To go to fucking space. Shiro _left Adam_ because he wanted to do this one more time. This was the point of everything. He just didn’t think it would be this soon. But, who the hell is he to stand in Shiro’s way? He’d be as bad as Adam otherwise.

“When do you leave?” Keith asks.

“A month from today.”

Keith is shaking. He pulls away and turns, swiping angrily at his eyes. He is _not_ going to cry. “Dammit, _dammit_. Sorry, just-”

Shiro turns him back around and kisses him. Keith clings to him, nails digging harshly into his shirt. “We’ll be gone for six months.” He murmurs when Keith pulls away to breathe. “Two to get out there, two to be on the moon, then two to get home.”

“Is that all.” Keith mutters, head dropping onto Shiro’s shoulder.

“I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.” Shiro says soothingly.

“Too late.”

Shiro cups Keith’s face in his hands and brings him up so he can look him in the eyes. “I’ll be back, Keith. It isn’t forever.”

“I know, Takashi.” Keith sighs and leans their foreheads together. “I know.”

~*~

Adam returns to Earth a week after the announcement. Keith knows this because he comes back to his and Shiro’s room to see Adam knocking on the door. Shiro pulls it open absently.

“Thought you said you were running la-” Shiro cuts himself off when he notices it’s not Keith at the door. “Adam.”

Keith plaster himself to the wall around the corner, peering around so he can still see Shiro. It’s kind of shitty of him to eavesdrop but… well.

“Hello, Takashi.” Adam says quietly. Shiro’s expression hardens.

“You lost the right to call me that.” He says lowly. 

Adam flinches and rubs the back of his neck. “I, uh, I heard that you’re going to Kerberos.”

“I am.” Shiro says coolly.

“That’s going to be a long trip.”

“I’m aware. Why are you here, Adam? To lecture me?”

“No, I, I heard, you tried to get out of going. I was, surprised. I thought you would have jumped at the opportunity.”

Shiro shrugs, looking pensive. “Things change.”

“Like?”

Shiro clenches his jaw. “You don’t really have the right to ask that.”

“Don’t I?” Adam says, sounding a little desperate. “I was important to you once, Shiro, and not even _I_ could get you to stay, so what? What happened in the last year? Why are you suddenly so desperate to not go?”

Shiro sighs and rubs his forehead. “Keith.”

Adam blinks. “What about Keith?”

“Keith and I. We started dating this summer.”

Adam is quiet for a long moment. “So I was right.”

“No,” Shiro growls, and Keith’s only heard him this angry once, when he first told him about his past. “At the time we broke up, I had nothing but platonic feelings for Keith, but feelings _change_ , Adam, and do you want to know why? Because Keith _stayed_. I told him about my disease, and he’s still choosing to stick around, no matter how many more missions I go out on. He’s going to _be here when I get back_.” Shiro spits. “I, I love him more than _anything_ , and, and he’s going to stay.”

Adam is quiet for a long moment. “You love him.”

“I do. He means everything to me. What you and I had, it’s nothing compared to what I have with Keith. With you, I was happy. But with Keith… I’m _home_.”

“And you would stay for him?” Adam asks quietly.

“Only long enough to ensure he could go up with me.” Shiro says firmly. “I only don’t want to go because he can’t go too.”

Keith can’t take it anymore. He rounds the corner and heads straight for Shiro, ducking around Adam to throw his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. Shiro barks out a startled laugh.

“Why am I not surprised you were listening?” Shiro murmurs fondly.

“Shut it, Takashi.” Keith mutters. He releases Shiro – barely – to turn and glare at a surprised Adam.

“You got… tall.” Adam says dumbly. Keith snorts.

“And you’re still an asshole.” He sneers. “I would punch you if I didn’t know it would upset Shiro.”

Shiro’s arm tightens around his waist, and a kiss is pressed to the top of his head. “Give us a minute, baby.”

Keith huffs but disentangles himself and strolls into their room, making himself comfortable on their bed.

Shiro turns back to Adam, crossing his arms. “I am actually glad you came by. I didn’t want to leave with all of those unspoken things hanging over me. I did love you once, Adam, but you made your choice.”

“You’re the one who chose, Shiro.” Adam says quietly.

“You didn’t give me much of one. Keith would never make me choose, and I love him for that. He understands what it feels like to have no real choice. You wanted to keep me caged. Keith… Keith knows what a nightmare that is.” Shiro shakes his head. “It was good to see you, Adam, and I really do wish you all the best. But it’s time for you to leave, so I can spend my last few weeks on Earth with the man I love.”

Adam is quiet for a long minute. “I wish you the best too, Shiro, for both the mission, and, with Keith. He’s a very, very lucky man.”

Shiro shakes his head slowly. “I’m the lucky one.” He murmurs, and then he closes the door.

~*~

The month goes by much quicker than Keith would like. They spend every moment they can together, and it’s increasingly obvious that they’re more than just friends to literally anyone with half a brain, but the instructors seem to be turning a blind eye.

Keith’s temper is getting steadily worse as well. He gets into a stupid argument with some cocky-ass cargo pilot and before he knows it Shiro is literally having to hold him back from punching the little shit in the face.

“Keith, you can’t do this while I’m gone, you’re going to get kicked out.” Shiro tells him after dragging him into an empty class room to cool down.

Keith takes a deep breath and leans against Shiro heavily. “I know.” He tucks his face into Shiro’s neck. “I’m not sure how successful I’ll be while you’re gone, but that’s all the more reason for you to come back home, right?”

“I already have a reason to come home.” Shiro says quietly.

“Sap.”

~*~

A couple days before launch, Shiro takes him out and shows him the ship.

“There’s the cockpit.” He says excitedly, laying a hand on Keith’s shoulder and pointing up at the tip of the ship. “It’s super cramped but we won’t have to all be in there all the time. That’s my space. Keith, I get to _fly_ again and I’m so pumped!”

“I know.” Keith murmurs, smiling softly. He glances over his shoulder and sees the Holts taking pictures. He sees a girl who must be Katie tackle Matt, and he sighs, looking back at Shiro. “I’m… going to miss you.”

Shiro’s mood instantly sobers. “I…I know. I’m going to miss you too, baby. So much. As excited as I am to get to go up there again, I wish I wasn’t.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Your break-up with Adam says otherwise.”

Shiro shakes his head. “You’d never tell me I couldn’t go, though.”

Keith nods. “Damn right I wouldn’t. You’re your own damn person. Even if I am going to miss you and worry a lot.”

Shiro smiles and squeezes his hand. “What I told Adam that day was true, baby. I’d rather wait until I could go up with you.” He murmurs. “It won’t be any fun without you.”

Keith huffs a laugh. “And what’s Matt, chopped liver?”

Shiro shrugs. “Matt’s my best friend, but you… I love you. I always want you with me.”

“I love you too, Takashi.” Keith says, then yanks Shiro down to kiss him breathless. “But next time, next time it will be you and me, exploring all those points of light, just like we talked about. Right?”

“Right.” Shiro murmurs, kissing him again briefly. “The next time either one of us leaves Earth, it will be together. I promise you that.”

“I believe it.” Because Shiro has always, _always_ kept his promises.

~*~

The night before the Kerberos team leaves, Shiro takes him to bed. They spend hours mapping out each other’s bodies, every sensitive spot exposed and caressed. After being on the edge for what feels like an eternity, Keith comes with a muffled cry, Shiro following right behind. They hold on tightly to each other in the afterglow, Shiro’s fingers tracing over his skin distractedly. He’s going to miss Shiro touching him absently, like just feeling Keith’s skin under his fingertips is calming.

Eventually, Keith speaks into the silence of the room. “I don’t want you to go.”

Shiro sighs against him and nuzzles into his hair. “I don’t want to leave you.”

They both fall silent again for a few moments, only their breathing disturbing the quiet of the night.

“I love you, Keith.” Shiro says.

“I love you too, Takashi.” He tucks himself tightly against Shiro’s body, as close as he can possibly get. “Hold me?”

Shiro’s arms wrap around him, squeezing. They fall asleep like that. There’s nothing more they can say.

The next morning, they awake in the same position. They get up and get dressed in silence. Instead of doing Tai Chi, they just sit together, holding on to each other, until it’s time to go to the launch bay. Shiro’s bag was already packed and on the ship. All they needed was their pilot.

They’re stopped at the entry. Only Shiro can go past this point. They turn to each other, and Keith drags him down into a desperate kiss, uncaring of who sees. It’s not like it matters now. Shiro kisses back so hard he fucking _dips_ him, and Keith laughs against his lover’s mouth. Shiro pulls back and touches their foreheads together, smiling.

“I’m glad I got to hear you laugh before I left.”

“Can’t believe you dipped me, goddamn superman.” Keith says fondly. Then he looks into Shiro’s eyes and his smile drops. “You had better come back.” He says in all seriousness.

“I promise you, Keith, I will _always_ come back to you.” He kisses him again, gently this time. It reminds Keith of their first kiss. “Always.”

“I’m holding you to that, superman.” Keith says quietly. He swallows, and kisses Shiro again, because if he stops, then Shiro will be gone. “I love you, Takashi.”

Shiro steps back and looks over Keith’s face. Over and over, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of it. “I love you too. More than anything. More than life.” He cups Keith’s face with his left hand, right hand finding his and squeezing their hands together. He presses one last kiss to Keith’s forehead, and then steps away. Keith holds onto his hand for as long as he can, and then Shiro is walking towards the ship. Away from Keith.

He watches the rocket take off, and very slowly lifts his hand to finger the bead Shiro had given him, rolling it between his fingers gently. _Courage_.

“Come home.” He murmurs into the empty air. With the sound of the rocket’s engines still ringing in everyone’s ears, it goes unheard.

~*~  
Keith barely endures the first three months of Shiro’s absence. He doesn’t even have Matt around, since he went with Shiro. For the first time in two years, Keith is alone, and he’s not sure he remembers how to live that way. Every morning he wakes up and reaches out for Shiro only to be met with air. It’s hard, so hard, not to pick fights, or argue, or keep his damn grades up, but god, he tries. He promised Shiro he would try.

So when the three month mark finally comes, Keith breathes a sigh of relief. Halfway there. Three more months and the team should be back. He’s so focused on that thought that he doesn’t realize the cafeteria has gone silent around him at first. When he does, he looks up to see what’s going on, right as someone unmutes the TV in the corner.

“The Galaxy Garrison mission to the distant moon of Kerberos is missing. All crew members are believed to be dead. The Galaxy Garrison has said the crash was presumably caused by pilot error-”

Keith shuts the rest out. He doesn’t realize he’s moving until he’s bursting into Iverson’s office.

“What happened?” he barks.

“Cadet Koga-”

“You didn’t even have the common decency to announce the disappearance to us first? You had to tell a goddamn reporter before you told us!?” Keith can’t feel the rage he knows is boiling inside him, the rage he can hear in his own voice. He’s completely numb. “What happened to them?”

“As you clearly heard the news report, you should know.” Iverson grits out, frowning menacingly.

Keith barks out a laugh. “Pilot error? Pilot error!? That’s the best lie you could come up with!? Shiro is the best damn pilots you _fuckwits_ have ever seen in your goddamn lives, disease or no disease! Don’t give me fucking _pilot error!”_ Keith lashes out and punches a hole in the office wall. He has the oddest sense of déjà vu. “Give me the fucking truth! Tell me what happened! _What did you do!?”_

“Cadet Kogane!” Iverson stands, towering over him. “You and I are both aware of the condition Shirogane had! He shouldn’t have gone, but he did, and it was a very tragic mistake, one we all regret, but that’s all it was! Now, if you do not get out of this office immediately I will have you removed by force!”

Keith doesn’t even twitch. He’s far, far too angry to be afraid. Iverson’s just another man who wants to use him, but Keith’s _done_ being used. Shiro helped him get to this point, and he’s not backing down now. He growls in the back of his throat, and Iverson looks startled by the force of it.

“You can lie to the press, the public, and everyone else here,” he says quietly, dangerously. “But you can’t lie to me.”

Then he turns and stalks out of the room.

He goes to the nurse, sits through her bandaging his hand (somehow he avoided breaking anything, guess the office walls are made of flimsier stuff than the dorm walls), then walks back to their – his – room in a daze. The door closes behind him and he sinks to the floor, head in his hands. He doesn’t cry, because he can’t. He has nothing left inside him. Shiro took it all when he left. And now he’s never coming home.

~*~

What follows is a few weeks of numbness interspersed with bouts of all-encompassing rage. Keith breaks some things, fights some people, and yells at that one _stupid ass cargo pilot who doesn’t get the fact that all Keith wants is to be left alone_. He almost breaks down in tears in front of the other pilot until his engineer friend comes to pull him away and Keith is left to find the nearest empty room and repeat “patience yields focus” like a mantra until his heartrate slows, clutching at the bead around his neck like a lifeline. Of all the lame Confucius shit Shiro had ever told him, that was the one that stuck. Mostly because it was the one Keith needed.

He knows he gets close to getting the boot on multiple occasions. God knows why they keep holding back. Honestly, Keith doesn’t know why he’s still here anyway. It’s pointless, now that Shiro’s gone.

The last straw, for both Iverson and himself, is one night when he’s walking back from the gym towards his dorm and he sees two extremely burly men hauling a young girl between them. She’s giving them hell though, hissing and spitting and trying to bite at them. She’s also cursing up a storm at Iverson, who’s just appeared in the doorway.

“I’ll find out what you did!” The girl screams. “I’ll find out what you did to my father and brother if it’s the last thing I do!”

Wait.

Keith starts walking closer.

Wait a minute.

He’s close enough now that he can see the girl’s face and…

_“You’re always talking about your sister. I thought siblings weren’t supposed to get along.”_

_“You only think that because you can’t get along with anybody but me and Shiro. But yeah, Katie and I are super close. A lot of people say we’d look damn near identical if she cut her hair! But I don’t see it. Here’s a picture we took at graduation – that’s her, isn’t she adorable? – do you see it? I sure don’t.”_

“Miss Holt, I will have to ask you to leave the premises.” Iverson says, fuming.

Katie Holt glares at the commander with fire in her eyes. “I’ll find them.” She says. “No matter what I have to do.”

Iverson’s lip curls, and he gestures at the guards…who _throw_ Katie bodily out the front gate. She rolls a few times in the dirt before sitting up, coughing and grimacing. He can see blood smeared on her cheek.

Ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that sounds strangely like Shiro, Keith marches up to Iverson in a fury. “What the hell did you do that for? She’s thirteen! You could have seriously hurt her!”

“Miss Holt needs to learn some respect, Cadet Kogane. As do you.” Iverson spits.

“Respect? She just wants to know what happened to the people she loves!” Keith shouts.

“One more word out of you, Cadet, and you’re out of here.” Iverson says lowly.

Keith pauses, fuming, and regards the commander for a long minute. Then pulls his arm back and punches Iverson with all the strength he can muster. He feels something crack under his fingers, and Iverson goes sprawling, obviously not having expected the punch. The guards give a shout and rush to the commander’s side, and Keith’s eyes meet Katie’s. She looks stunned.

“Go.” He tells her, straightening. “Before they can do anything else to you.” She stands shakily and nods but before she can turn away, Keith speaks again.

“Katie.”

Her eyes widen. “How did you-?”

“Don’t stop looking.” He tells her. “No matter what they throw at you, don’t you dare stop looking until you find out what happened to them.”

He can see the gears turning in her head before her jaw drops. “Keith?”

“Go!” He snaps. She stares at him for a moment longer, then turns and runs.

Keith slips around the crowd of people tending to Iverson and goes back to his room. He packs all his things, and the few things of Shiro’s that he’d hidden when they came to gather his things for his family. Then he leaves on the hoverbike. Shiro had told him to use it if he needed it, and he really didn’t want to walk all the way back to the middle of the desert. So he kicks the engine into high gear and leaves the Garrison behind him. There’s nothing left for him there anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I 100% like this chapter but I did the editing thing and it seemed okay so it'll work. Sorry for destroying Keith, but we know Shiro comes back so it's okay! I'll see you all on Wednesday with a short account of Keith's struggles during Shiro's Lost Year. Have a lovely day!
> 
> She’s talking to angels,  
> Counting the stars  
> Making a wish on a passing car  
> She’s dancing with strangers,  
> She’s falling apart  
> Waiting for Superman to pick her up  
> In his arms, yeah, in his arms, yeah  
> She’s waiting for Superman...  
> \- Waiting For Superman, Daughtry
> 
> (Would you believe I had Keith call Shiro superman just so I could use this song?)


	11. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my take on Keith's year alone in the desert. It's short and disjointed but it's supposed to be. Keith probably wasn't all there during that year.  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Keith gets back to the shack in record time. He enters and throws his bag down onto the couch, collapsing face first onto his bed. He can still smell Shiro’s shampoo on the pillow the older man always used. Keith brings it close to his face and inhales. Then he starts shaking.

He doesn’t stop until he falls into a fitful sleep

.

.

.

He wakes hours later, still in the pitch black, sweaty and scared, Shiro’s name on his lips. He expects a warm hand to settle on his back, a low voice in his ear telling him everything’s okay, that it was just a dream and that everything was alright now. But neither come, and Keith is left gasping into the empty darkness until his heartbeat slows enough to allow him to drift off again.

.

.

.

He spends the first several days in a haze. He doesn’t know how many. He doesn’t keep count. At one point he realizes he hasn’t eaten in…however long, so he gets up and takes the bike into town. He doesn’t look at the café, and ducks into a convenience store. He buys the bare minimum, then returns to the shack and makes himself a peanut butter sandwich, eating it mechanically. He doesn’t know why he’s still going.

.

.

.

He hasn’t cried.

He doesn’t know why. He would have expected to be sobbing, screaming, cursing the universe and the Garrison for taking the only thing he’d ever cared about away from him, but he can’t. He can’t cry. He’s tried. He’s sat alone in the dark, curled on his  bed, clutching at his bead and tried. Tried to make the tears come, tried to get some of his anguish out in the salty tears, but it never happens. He has to wonder if he’s passed such levels of human suffering. He hasn’t cried since The Incident after all. Perhaps that was the worst that could be thrown at him, and maybe after something like that, everything else paled in comparison.

But no, no this hurts far worse. Shiro’s loss has blackened his insides, turned his body into a swirling dark mass of anger and despair. Perhaps he can’t cry, because crying would not be enough to convey the pain and torment he’s enduring. Or maybe with Shiro’s death, he is unable to feel anything. He is now numb to the world, maybe he’s numb to his own body as well.

Whatever the case may be, he is unable to find even the simplest outlet for what he is feeling, and he is forced to stew in all the black emotions that are swirling around inside his gut. So he just curls into a ball on his bed and shakes, and shakes, and shakes, until he is overcome with exhaustion and falls into a restless sleep.

.

.

.

Eventually that voice in the back of his mind that sounds too much like Shiro demands that he get up, so one morning at sunrise, he goes outside, and does Tai Chi. Then he goes about unpacking his bags. He peels out of his disgusting uniform that he never changed out of and takes a cold shower. Then he dresses in some clean jeans and one of Shiro’s shirts that is way too big on him, but makes him feel safe. That’s a feeling he hasn’t had since Shiro left.

He does things. Little things. He trains in the backyard, alternating Tai Chi and the hand to hand tactics he learned at the Garrison. He tries to keep up with Japanese, or at least retain what he’d been taught. He reads the thick novels that Shiro had left on the dingy desk in the corner. He tries not to think about Shiro. He fails.

.

.

.

He goes into town only when he needs food. He spends two months out in the desert and only sees the town three times. One day, he realizes he doesn’t _feel_ things anymore. He’s not just numb with loss like he was in the beginning, this is something more. He doesn’t feel like he exists inside his own body anymore. _Skin-hunger_. Shiro’s voice comes back to him.

No. He doesn’t need it, or at least, he doesn’t want it. But he does need to feel _something_. Just so he knows he’s still real. He figures that someone else in his position would go out and find a random stranger to fuck, but that’s not something he’d ever do _anyway_ , even without his trauma, and even if Shiro is…gone, it would still feel wrong. Even if the thought didn’t send spikes of panic hurtling through his system, he would never be able to bring himself to do it.

So instead of going into town and finding a club, he goes into town and finds a tattoo parlor. It’s easy enough to find the image he wants for the artist, and unlike a lot of other people coming in here, he actually knows what it means. So he takes off his shirt and lies down on the table and lets the well-muscled woman do her work. It hurts, and he bleeds, but it’s more than he’s felt in months.

.

.

.

Once when he goes to town, Adam finds him. Says he’s sorry, but he’d been right, Shiro never should have gone back to space, it was _his own fault he died, Keith, you should have told him to stay_ -

Keith punches him. He knows he breaks bone. He feels a flicker of satisfaction.

When he gets back to the shack, he throws up.

No. It was not Shiro’s fault. It was Keith’s. He doesn’t know how, but it could never be Shiro’s. And he already hates himself, why not blame himself for this too? He never would have done what Adam did, but he should have tried harder to find out what Iverson knew. He should have tried to stay and get information. He feels like he let Shiro down.

He goes to bed with an empty stomach and Adam’s words ringing in his ears.

.

.

.

Something out in the desert is singing.

Or at least, he thinks that’s what it is. The steady thrum of a beat that’s not quite buzzing. It almost sounds like…purring, if purring were musical, and mechanical. Keith is going insane slowly but steadily, so for a long time he doesn’t know if what he’s hearing is real. He figures he may as well go find out.

He makes long trips into the desert, until he finds the rock formation. The purring gets louder the closer he gets. He keeps coming back, mapping out where it sounds the loudest.

Then he finds the caves.

He sits in there for hours. Days, maybe. Tracing the lines of the lion carvings and wondering what they mean. They are…oddly comforting. Like they can actually see him, see into him. They look at his broken soul and tell him it’s all going to be alright.

Keith’s pretty sure he’s actually insane.

.

.

.

He sits out on the roof at night, staring up at the stars. He still wants to go out there, he thinks, but only so he can join Shiro in oblivion. He wonders if this sight was the last thing Shiro saw. A hundred thousand points of distant light, beautiful in their indifference. He wonders what Shiro thought about before he died. He wonders if he thought of him. If he was sorry he couldn’t keep his promise.

He stops thinking after that.

.

.

.

There is writing in the cave, along with the drawings. He doesn’t understand most of it, but a bit of it he’s managed to figure out. The pictures and the writing together help. They’re telling a story, but it’s not _just_ a story. It’s a countdown. Soon, on the day that marks the one year anniversary of the Kerberos team disappearing, something big is going to happen. Keith doesn’t know what, or where, or how or why, but he knows that whatever happens, he has to be there.

He has to.

.

.

.

The day finally comes, dawning just like any other, and Keith wakes as he normally does: crying out for a man who hasn’t been there to answer for a long time. He gets up and does Tai Chi, then works out for a further two hours. He has muscle definition now. Not nearly as much as Shiro had, but enough of a result that he can be proud of it.

He eats, checks on his supplies (including five homemade smoke bombs that are probably a little more bomb than smoke, but whatever) and tunes up the bike, before he climbs onto the roof of the shack, and waits.

A few hours after sunset, he sees it. At first it looks like a shooting star, but as it gets closer, Keith can tell something is off. It’s headed right for earth.

It crashes into the desert, not that far from the shack and Keith jumps up. This. This must be it. What the cave writing was indicating. What the purring in the desert was waiting for. He can still hear it in the back of his mind, but it’s changed. As he hops down and ties a bandanna around his mouth, he realizes it sounds…happy. And relieved. Like a long wait is finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would’ve gave it all  
> Truth be told I can’t believe you’re gone  
> Like a dream I can’t recall  
> Now I gotta face the fact that you’re never coming back  
> Cause you’re running through my dreams  
> It’s like you’re on repeat  
> Feels like eternity, and I can’t believe  
> I let you in, you left me out  
> You left me on my own, you left me all alone  
> I let you in, you bled me out  
> You left me skin and bone, you left me all alone  
> \- Alone, I Prevail
> 
> I only subjected you to one chapter of solid angst. Next time, we launch into canon (with the slight difference of Sheith being a thing and Keith's past) and therefor, Shiro comes back and Keith is much happier. I'm going to a con this weekend so the next update may come late but I'll try for it not to be. Have an awesome weekend, ya'll!


	12. A Hero Comes Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. The con was long but I came home with tons of Voltron/Sheith goodies, so that was good. And here I am updating, even though I did not expect to update this fic tonight because this chapter is LONG. But here we are.  
> WARNING: this chapter has mentions of suicidal thoughts, so be safe reading please. And enjoy!  
> (Edited 8/18/18 to reflect S7 canon)

Keith kicks the bike into high gear, soaring across the desert at a break-neck speed. He sees the lights before he sees the ship.

He stares. That…is an alien ship. Aliens. Goddamn. Keith shakes his head and passes the wreckage. No way he’s going to get in there with what looks like half the Garrison’s fire power standing guard. So he goes a few miles out, sets the bombs and the timer, and books it back to the ship. The explosions go off and the swarm of activity is diverted out to the noise and light while Keith quietly circles back. He stops the bike behind a giant boulder, peering out to see that literally no one is left guarding the entrance to the ship. He snorts under his breath. Idiots.

He dashes across the open stretch and ducks around the ship. It’s…eerie. Whoever made this thing, Keith did not want to meet them. Even the architecture screamed “dangerous.”

Keith passes the small vessel and enters the temporary shelter the Garrison has set up, creeping down the halls quietly, ears straining to hear anything. Whatever they found in that ship is in here somewhere, and something inside Keith is screaming at him to find out what it is. After only a minute of searching, he hears voices in one of the rooms and heads towards it. The door opens upon three startled techies hovering around a form on a stretcher.

“Hey!” One of them shouts, and Keith lowers into a fighting stance. All it takes is one punch each to knock them out, pathetic. He jumps over the third one and stands next to the metal table. The figure is human, and there’s something very familiar about him….

As he draws nearer, he catches sight of the side of the man’s face, and his blood turns to ice in his veins.

Keith tugs down the bandanna, suddenly feeling like the air is gone from the room, and reaches out with careful fingers to turn the man’s head towards him.

There’s a shock of white hair falling in his face and a prominent scar stretching across the bridge of his nose, and he’s very visibly _bigger_ than the last time Keith saw him, but he’d know that face anywhere. His dreams hadn’t been able to do it any sort of justice.

“Shiro?” Keith chokes. His hand hovers over the other man’s face for a moment before he clenches it into a fist and grits his teeth. Break down later. Get Shiro out _now_.

He pulls out his dad’s knife and slices through the bindings – why would they need to bind Shiro in the first place? – and that’s when he sees the arm.

Again, his blood freezes, and he swallows heavily. What the hell had happened up there? He shakes his head.

Not now.

Carefully, he hauls Shiro up and gets his still-human arm around his shoulders, before the door opens again. Keith tenses, wondering how he’s gonna fight off anyone with Shiro’s weight on him – but then he sees exactly who it was that came in.

“Nope!” The teen says, stepping on one of the fallen techies and shoving the table out of the way. “No you don’t, nonononono, I’m saving Shiro.”

Keith raises an eyebrow as the guy lifts Shiro’s other arm over his shoulders.

“Who are you?” He asks, and out of the corner of his eye sees two other teens by the door.

“Who am I?” The guy scoffs and gives him a condescending look. “Uh, the name’s _Lance._ ” He says It like Keith should know who he is. Which, he really doesn’t.

The guy _pouts_ , what even… “We were in the same class at the Garrison?”

“Really?” Fuck, he didn’t know _anybody_ in his year. Or any other year for that matter, and something told him they weren’t actually in the same year, considering how Keith got in early. “Are you an…engineer?” He guesses randomly.

“No! I’m a pilot!” The guy says indignantly. “We were like rivals! You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.”

The thing about rivals is what triggers the memory. This is the utter _moron_ who kept harassing him after Shiro disappeared.

“Oh.” He says coldly. “Wait, I remember you. You’re a cargo pilot.”

“Not anymore! I’m fighter class now, thanks to you washing out.” He says it like it’s meant to sting, but Keith left because he had nothing he cared to hold onto anymore, not even his “golden” status.

“Well.” He says dryly, looking forwards, pulling Shiro’s arm more securely across his shoulders. “Congratulations.”

All utter distaste for this guy aside, he and the other two make it a lot easier for Keith to get Shiro out to the bike.

The little one (is he even old enough to be in the Garrison? …that might be hypocritical considering Keith got in at sixteen) shouts that there’s movement out from where the Garrison forces went, and the big guy grabs the binoculars and starts freaking out. Then they all decide they can get on the bike and it’ll be _just fine it’s not like weight is an issue or anything, no go right ahead_.

Keith growls quietly under his breath but doesn’t have time to do anything else. The trucks are back, and they have to _move_. He kicks it on and they take off.

“Can’t this thing go any faster!?” The douche – Lance – shouts.

“We could drop some non-essential weight.” Keith says mildly, then smirks when the guy gets it.

But really, the Garrison vehicles are uncomfortably close. Thank god Keith knows the area like the back of his hand. Keith drives straight for the cliff, much to the mounting panic of the people behind him. He’d never worked up the courage to do this before Shiro left, and hadn’t had the heart to try since, but desperate times, right?

Keith takes a moment to be slightly disappointed Shiro isn’t awake to see him finally do this, then drives off the cliff.

“What are you doing! You’re going to kill us all!” Lance screeches over the screams of the others.

“Shut up and trust me!” Keith yells, and catches them right before they hit the ground. A flawless jump. Shiro would have been proud.

He smirks at the relieved groans behind him. “Told you.”

“You’re actually insane!” The big man wheezes.

Keith laughs darkly. “Maybe. Is Shiro okay?”

“He’s breathing, so I’m gonna say yes.” The little guy informs him. He relaxes minutely.

“Okay, hang on, we’re almost there.”

They get to the shack in another few minutes. Keith takes Shiro’s weight from the little guy and gets him to open the door, enlisting the big guy to help him carry Shiro inside.

“Hunk.” The big guy says, smiling.

“Sorry. I know I probably met you too, but the months before I left are…kind of a blur.” He says quietly.

“It’s cool.”

Finally, they set Shiro down on the bed. Keith checks his breathing, which seems steady, and decides that the best thing is for him to sleep off whatever the Garrison gave him.

“You guys can stay here, I guess.” He says grudgingly, turning to face the others. It would be shitty of him to make them walk back to the Garrison, especially since they did _technically_ help. “I have a couple sleeping bags over there in the corner, and one of you can take the couch.”

“Where are you gonna sleep then?” The little one asks. Keith raises an eyebrow and pointedly sits on the edge of the bed, toing off his shoes.

“Why do you get to sleep in the bed with Shiro!?” Lance whines, and Keith tries very hard not to get up and punch him.

“One, it’s my bed. Two, I want to make sure Shiro’s okay during the night. Three, _none of your damn business_.”

Lance grumbles but doesn’t say anything else. “Fine. Dibs on the couch!”

Turns out the only one short enough to fit on the couch is the little guy (Pidge, apparently?). Keith feels vindicated.

But he lies awake long after the others fall asleep. He turns to face Shiro, studying him in the dim. He does look different, but also, so much the same and it _hurts_. It hurts to be this close to him again. He’s so happy, he can’t bear it, but at the same time, he dreads what might have caused…everything. Slowly, hesitantly, Keith touches Shiro’s new arm. The metal is cool under his fingers, and very smooth. As Keith watches, the fingers twitch and curl, and if Keith listens hard, he can hear a faint whirring at the movement. He’s never seen anything like it before. He doubts the doctors or scientists of the world are anywhere _near_ prosthetics of this caliber.

“Where the hell have you been, Shiro?” Keith whispers, but presses up close against his side. Despite everything, Shiro is still so warm, and still makes him feel safe.

For the first time in a year, Keith falls asleep, and doesn’t wake until morning.

~*~

When Keith does wake, it’s early. Dawn is just creeping over the horizon. He yawns and opens his eyes, and freezes. Shiro is gone.

He sits bolt upright, looking around frantically. The other three are all still asleep so it couldn’t have been a dream, so where-?

He catches a glimpse through the window of a figure out on the little hill in front of the shack. The figure is unnervingly still in the shifting sands of the desert, but the profile is a familiar one. Keith’s shoulders go limp. Oh thank god.

Quietly, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and tugs on his shoes, grabbing his jacket and pulling it on as he heads out the door. He approaches the other man slowly, careful not to startle him. Careful not to startle _himself_ into jerking out of this strange fantasy only to find that it isn’t real, that Shiro’s still…

He sees Shiro’s head cock slightly to the side, so he knows he’s been heard before he settles a careful hand on the man’s shoulder. Warm, solid, real beneath his touch, and he allows himself to relax minutely.

Shiro pauses, his hand stilling from where it had been rubbing at his metal arm. There are so very many things he wants to say, but the thing that makes it out of his mouth is probably the most simple truth he can muster in this impossible moment.

“It’s good to have you back.” His voice, though soft, is loud in the haze of early morning.

Shiro turns his head and smiles, and oh god if that smile doesn’t bring back a thousand different memories.

“It’s good to be back.” He says, just as quiet. Keith has to close his eyes briefly at the sound of the voice he never thought he’d hear again. His fingers tighten a little against the older man’s shoulder.

“So,” Keith swallows. “What happened out there? Where were you?”

Shiro closes his eyes and looks away. “I wish I could tell you. My head’s still pretty scrambled. I was on an alien ship, and somehow I escaped. It’s all a blur.”

Aliens. Well, at least that much he got right.

Shiro shakes his head as though to clear it before he speaks again. “Even the things that happened before I left earth are foggy.”

Keith tenses. He prays Shiro doesn’t notice. “You…can’t remember?” He asks weakly.

“Not a lot.” Shiro sighs. “Especially the things that happened right before I left.”

Keith, without thinking about it, takes a step away.

Shiro looks up at him in confusion before his eyes widen. “Oh, Keith,” He whispers, and Keith flinches. “Hey, no, come here.”

He maneuvers out from under Keith’s hand and turns to him, placing his own hands gently on Keith’s shoulders. He studies his face for a long moment, then tugs Keith close and wraps him in his arms. Keith gasps, and clings to the man in front of him, burying his face in his chest. God, it had been so long since he’d been _touched_. It had been so long since he’d had these arms around him, holding him close. It had been so long since he’s allowed himself to _feel_.

“I did forget a lot of things.” Shiro murmurs, ducking slightly to kiss the top of Keith’s head. “But the one thing I do remember is you.”

Keith sucks in a ragged breath, squeezing his eyes shut. _Don’t you fucking dare cry_. “Shiro,” He chokes out.

“I could never forget you Keith. You know you mean everything to me.”

“But you _left_.” Keith whispers. He still isn’t crying. Even if he thinks he finally could, he can’t in front of Shiro, who’s already been through enough. “You left and took everything with you and I, I…”

Shiro hushes him gently, running a hand up and down Keith’s back to quiet him like he’s done hundreds of times before. The soothing touch calms him somewhat and allows him to speak coherently.

“I missed you.” He breathes. “I missed you so damn much it _hurt_. I thought you were-” He can’t continue the thought, but he knows Shiro understands the implication.

“I missed you too.” Shiro pulls back and presses their foreheads together. Keith’s breath hitches at the familiar gesture. “I missed you so much Keith. I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise.”

“But you did.” Keith blinks rapidly against the sting of tears. “You’re _home_ , and I never thought I’d ever see you again, so this? This is _everything to me_.” His breath hitches and he curses, pulling back to rub at his eyes. Don’t cry. “I was waiting for last night for a long time.” He says once he’s gotten a hold of himself. “I never dreamed it would bring me you.”

Shiro’s brow furrows at that. “Speaking of last night,” he murmurs, still rubbing Keith’s back absently, “how did you know to come save me when I crashed?”

Keith frowns and steps back, as reluctant as he is to do so. He needs to show Shiro what he’s found, so he gestures towards the shack. “You should come look at this.”

He ends up telling all of them what he’d been finding in the desert. He sees Shiro frown in concern when he mentions getting booted from the Garrison – he just knows that’s gonna be brought up later.

He also nearly goes after Lance when the younger pilot flinches away from Shiro’s metal hand, but that’s neither here nor there.

~*~

So, to sum up the strangest day Keith has _ever_ had: they go to the caves, find a giant blue robot lion, and jump across the galaxy in it (Lance is truly the worst fucking pilot he’s ever seen, period) (Shiro keeps throwing an arm in front of him like an overprotective soccer mom, which is a novelty he hasn’t experienced in a while, so he lets it slide). They find a huge castle on _another fucking planet_ that contains an alien princess and her – uncle? Maybe – and now they are being sent across the galaxy to find the other four giant robot lions so they could turn into an even more giant robot man and beat the shit out of the aliens that took Shiro. Which, really, Keith is all for. Except for the fact that Shiro is being sent off with Pidge and Keith has to stay behind.

“I don’t like it.” He tells Shiro point blank while Pidge is climbing into the pod.

Shiro sighs. “Keith-”

“No, I don’t like it. I literally just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Hey,” Shiro grabs his arms gently, “You’re not going to lose me again. I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.”

Keith swallows and looks away. “That’s what you said last time.” He mutters. “And guess what? I had _plenty_ of time to do nothing _but_ miss you.”

Shiro frowns, rubbing at Keith’s arms distractedly. “Keith, what happened while I was gone?”

Keith smiles ruefully. “If you want to know the answer to that, you’re just gonna have to come back.” He barks a laugh and ducks out of Shiro’s hold, walking backwards towards the hangar doors. “And do me a favor? Don’t take a fucking year this time!”

Shiro smiles and shakes his head, but the gleam of concern can still be seen in his eyes. “Yes sir.”

~*~

Two out of three lions, no problems. Easy grabs. The third one? The one that’s meant to be Keith’s? _Of course_ that’s the one the crazy purple furries found first. Wasn’t that just the way his life was designed to work.

They get suited up in awesome, if ridiculously color-coded, armor and get weapons that Keith is more excited about than he should be, and then he, Shiro and Pidge sneak on board the Galra ship to find the Red Lion.

Once they get aboard however, things start going a bit sideways.

“Commander Holt is my father. He and my brother were the ones on the Kerberos mission with you!” Pidge shouts, and Keith shuts down briefly.

Motherfucking Katie Holt, what the fuck. How did he not see it the instant he met her? They really do look _exactly alike Matt are you blind!?_

“I’m going with you.” Shiro is saying when he comes back from that mind-fuck.

“What?”

Shiro is still looking at Pidge – Katie? Pidge, fuck – when he speaks again. “I remember where the prisoners are held. Keith, you go find the Red Lion.”

“By myself?”

“Minor change of plan.” Shiro says, grasping one of his shoulders. “You’ll be fine, just remember, patience yields focus.”

Keith’s shoulders shake, and he laughs. “Oh my god. Really? After all this time, you’re still spouting that wisdom guru crap?”

Shiro grins. “Hey, it works.”

Then a patrol is approaching, and they’ve gotta move.

Keith runs down so many corridors that look exactly the same and it’s infuriating. He pauses at yet another intersection and makes a frustrated noise. He breathes heavily through his nose and closes his eyes.

“Patience yields focus.” He mutters. He listens for the purring he heard in the desert and hones in on it, grinning in triumph when he finally finds the lion.

He may or may not have a mild hissy fit when it won’t let him in. Maybe.

But then he does what he always does – something stupid and impulsive – and the Red Lion must decide he’s hers after all and comes to his rescue.

“Good kitty.” He says as he steers away from the Galra ship and back towards Arus.

Shiro gets his lion (which is fucking huge), they get shot at and argue a lot (Hunk knocks him the fuck over fuck fucking _combine_ that hurt) and then they end up forming a giant robot that kicks ass and takes name, and Keith gets to use his lion to punch a Galra ship.

Good end to the weirdest fucking twenty-four hours ever. 

They’re all exhausted by the time the sun sets, so Allura has Coran show them to their rooms.

Keith lies in his bed for all of ten minutes before biting the bullet and leaving in search of the one person he needs to see. He wanders down the hall until he’s standing in front of Shiro’s door.

Keith raises his hand to knock, but then hesitates. Just because Shiro remembered him didn’t necessarily mean he remembered everything about who they were to each other. Keith’s jaw tenses and he lowers his hand. Maybe, maybe it would be better if Shiro remembered on his own. If he came to find Keith instead. Just as Keith was turning away, the door opened.

“Are you going to stand out here all night?” Shiro’s voice is teasing, and when Keith looks up, he’s leaning against the doorway with an easy smile on his face. Keith shrugs and looks away.

“I… didn’t know if you’d be up for seeing anyone.”

“I’m not,” Shiro confirms, straightening. “But you’re not just anyone. Come on in.”

He stands back and Keith wanders inside, sitting on the edge of Shiro’s bed while the older man leans back on the now closed door. “What’s on your mind?”

Keith swallows and fiddles with his gloves absentmindedly. “I guess I just wondered…I know you said you remembered me. I just need to know…how much you remember, exactly.” He shudders. “There are some things I really don’t want to have to re-tell you.”

Shiro crosses the room to kneel in front of him, placing his human hand on Keith’s fidgeting ones to still them. “Don’t worry. I remember what you told me, about your past.”

Keith breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god. I don’t need to do that again anytime soon, thanks.” Then he clears his throat and looks Shiro in the eyes. “What…what else do you remember?”

Shiro’s eyes soften, thumb rubbing little circles against the skin on the back of his hand. “I remember the first time I saw you, and all the times I saw you by yourself and worried over your wellbeing. I remember you were so angry when we first met, but you put up with me anyway. I remember tutoring you, and the summer I gave you this,” Shiro tugs out the leather cord around Keith’s neck so the bead is resting over his shirt.

“I remember you were there for me after I broke up with Adam. I remember finding out about your nightmares, and rooming with you so I could look after you. I remember the night you woke up screaming, and then told me why you didn’t trust anyone.”

“Do you remember breaking your goddamn fingers like an idiot?” Keith mutters, but Shiro smiles.

“I do. I remember teaching you Japanese, and Tai Chi, because your anger gets the best of you sometimes.”

His voice drops lower when he speaks again. “I remember realizing I was falling in love with you. I remember seeing your scars and telling you how beautiful you are. I remember our first kiss, and all the ones that followed. I remember the night you asked me to make love to you. I remember the moment you first told me you loved me.”

Shiro swallows and presses their foreheads together. Keith can barely breathe. “I remember telling you I was leaving. I remember the night before I left. I felt every inch of your skin because I knew it would be far too long before I could touch you again. I remember kissing you before I left, and how heartbroken you looked when I had to walk away.”

Keith’s breath hitches, and the room goes slightly blurry.

Shiro closes his eyes. “The Galra took a lot from me, Keith. They took my arm, my freedom, my memories. But they couldn’t take away you.” He opens his eyes again and smiles softly. “They could never make me forget how much I love you.”

Keith blinks, and the blurriness clears, and that’s when he realizes he’s finally crying. For the first time since he was fourteen years old, he’s crying.

“Oh baby, don’t cry.” Shiro pleads, thumb wiping at his cheek soothingly. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left you alone for so long.”

Keith chokes out a sob at the use of the pet name, throwing his arms around Shiro. “Takashi,” he gasps, burying his face into the older man’s neck. “Takashi, Takashi, Takashi…”

“I love you so much, Keith. I never stopped.”

“Neither did I.” Keith gasps. “I heard that you were dead, and I shut down. Nothing mattered anymore. I couldn’t feel _anything_ because you took everything I had when you left. I’m so sorry, Shiro. I wasn’t able to keep it together like you asked me to. And now, I’ve let you down.”

“Never.” Shiro says fiercely, pulling back to look Keith in the eyes. “You could never do something like that. I asked you that because I didn’t want you to start fights, but Keith, I was _dead_ for all you knew. Grieving like you did, that’s not letting me down, that’s being human.”

“But you don’t know what I did.” Keith whispers, thinking of all the times over the past year that he nearly gave into despair and let it swallow him, just to make it all _stop_.

“Whatever you did, it doesn’t matter.” Shiro says firmly. “The most important thing is that you’re still here.”

Maybe Shiro does have some idea of what he’d been thinking during his year alone.

Before he can dwell on that, Shiro continues. “Keith, I woke up this morning next to you. Something I haven’t done in so long, and it took me a while to realize I wasn’t dreaming because I had been dreaming about it for so long. I missed you so much, baby.”

“I missed you too.” Keith whispers.

Shiro searches his face for a long moment. “Can I…can I kiss you? Please?”

Keith’s breath catches. “God, yes.”

Shiro’s lips are on his before the words have faded from the air. Keith chokes on a whimper and his arms wrap around Shiro’s neck, pulling him closer. Kissing Shiro feels like coming home. His lips feel the same as they always did, and he still holds him so gently, like he’s scared to break him.

“Fuck,” Keith pants when he has to pull back for air. “I should have done that this morning. I finally feel like I’m back in my own body.”

Shiro frowns at the words, pulling back slightly to look at him fully. “What happened while I was gone, Keith?”

Keith sighs and tugs at Shiro. They move around until they’re both lying on the narrow bed, curled together like they’d never been apart. “Not much, really. I got kicked out of the Garrison and had no human contact for a year. Then you showed up.” He laughs ruefully. “I may have become even more touch-starved than I was before I met you, but, whatever.”

“You and me both,” Shiro murmurs, pulling him closer and Keith sighs, relaxing into the contact and running his fingers along the arm that’s wrapped around him.

“How did you get kicked out?” Shiro asks quietly.

Keith shrugs. “I yelled at Iverson a lot because he wouldn’t tell anyone what actually happened to your team. I now know that he didn’t know what really happened, but still, he could have fucking said. You know they chalked up your disappearance to goddamn _pilot error_? It was you, Shiro. Like hell it was some sort of pilot error. You’re careful. But they started watching me really closely after that. The final straw was when I, uh,” he coughs and looks away, “punched Iverson... in the face….”

Shiro stiffens. “You did what?”

Keith winces. “Um, yeah. But in my defense, they had just literally thrown Katie Holt out on her ass for asking what happened to her family, and she was hurt, so, I kinda lost it, a bit.” Keith frowns. “Speaking of which, am I crazy, or is Pidge Katie Holt?”

“She is. I can’t believe she doesn’t think that I know.” Shiro huffs a laugh.

“I can’t believe no one noticed. I don’t know what Matt was on about, but they do look scarily alike.” Keith rolls his eyes. The Garrison was full of idiots. “Anyway, after that I left. Technically I left before they issued the expulsion, but it doesn’t matter. I went back to the shack, and nearly died from starvation a couple times, but I didn’t, because I knew you’d be upset with me.”

Shiro remains quiet for a long time, combing through Keith’s hair slowly.

“Shiro?”

“I know you’d tell me not to say it again, so I won’t say I’m sorry. But I wish I’d been able to let you know somehow. That I was alive. That I was fighting to get home to you.”

Keith sighs and props himself up on his forearms, looking down at Shiro. “I think in a way you did.” He says. “Every time I felt like giving up, your voice would pop up in the back of my head, telling me to get my shit together. That I couldn’t give up just yet.” Keith closes his eyes and leans his head against Shiro’s chest. “Even still…it was close, a couple of times. It’s a good thing you came back when you did.”

“Keith…”

“I’m okay now, Shiro.” He lifts his head and smiles. “You’re here. And just so long as you don’t go anywhere _else_ , I’ll be fine.” Then he kisses Shiro again, because it’s been a year and he’s _needy_ , dammit. It’s annoying.

Shiro flips them, because of course he does, and Keith sighs as Shiro’s weight settles on top of him. It’s familiar, even if there’s more of it.

“You got fucking _ripped_ while you were gone.” Keith smirks, hands sliding up Shiro’s back. “Not that you were scrawny before, but _damn_.”

Shiro barks a startled laugh against Keith’s jaw. “Interesting how _that’s_ the change you choose to remark on.”

“Well, I could comment on others too,” Keith hums, then deliberately kisses the scar across the bridge of Shiro’s nose.

Shiro’s breath hitches. “Keith, you should know…I’m not the same as I was before I left.”

“I know that, Takashi.” Keith murmurs, kissing the scar again then settling back against the pillow. “No one can be a slave for a year and come out unchanged. Not even you, superman.”

The corner of Shiro’s mouth twitches up into a smile. “Been a long time since I heard that.”

“Stick around, you’ll hear it more.”

Shiro kisses Keith again slowly, carefully. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Keith hums. “Now, are you going to fuck me or what?”

Shiro’s breath catches and he buries his face into Keith’s neck.

“We can’t.”

Keith frowns, carding a hand through Shiro’s hair. “Why not? Shiro it’s been a year. I missed you.”

Shiro sighs against his neck, making Keith shiver. “I missed you too, baby, so, so much, but for one, we don’t have anything to prepare you with, and before you say anything to that, I am _not_ going to risk hurting you. Not now, not ever.”

Keith smiles fondly. “I know.” He murmurs and kisses the side of Shiro’s head. “And point number two?”

“I have no idea what I could have picked up in the prison. I don’t want to do _anything_ until I’m sure I’m clean.”

Keith sits up suddenly, causing Shiro to rock back on his heels. “You have reason to believe you could have picked up alien STDs?” Keith says darkly.

If they had touched Shiro, Keith will rip them apart.

“No! No, baby, nothing like that.” Shiro soothes, cupping Keith’s face gently with his human hand.  “I just want to make sure.”

“Good. I think one of us having gone through that particular trauma is enough for this relationship, don’t you?” Keith is still trying to put a lid on the black rage the thought had caused. “I swear to god, Shiro, if they’d touched you…”

“They didn’t.” Shiro murmurs, pulling Keith against him. “At least, not in that way.” He kisses Keith’s forehead and he allows himself to relax.

“Okay. So we can’t have sex, but for the love of god, can I at least get you to take off your shirt?” Keith plucks at the zipper of Shiro’s vest, tugging it down to expose the skintight shirt underneath. He needs skin contact, as much as he can get. It’s something that always comforts them both, so he’s pretty sure Shiro will do that, at least.

Surprisingly though, Shiro tenses. “Remember what I said about not being the same?”

“Yeah? Shiro, I don’t care what’s different. You’re still the man I love.”

Shiro sighs and rubs the back of his neck with his prosthetic. “It’s…pretty bad.”

Keith’s hands slide up Shiro’s arms slowly, fingers curling over his shoulders. He can feel raised lines under the fabric of the older man’s shirt. “If you’re really that uncomfortable, you don’t have to, you know that. But just remember, I don’t care what you look like.”

Shiro nods, expression softening. “I know. I just want you to be prepared.” Then he sighs, leans out of Keith’s hold and tugs off his vest and shirt.

Shiro is _covered_ in scars. Keith is really not all that surprised, but his breath hitches all the same. He reaches out and traces his fingers over a large one slicing diagonally across Shiro’s chest, and the older man twitches at the contact. He won’t look at Keith.

He frowns at that, and leans in to kiss the jagged flesh, making Shiro’s breath hitch. “Still beautiful, Takashi. Just like always.”

Shiro huffs a bitter laugh. “This isn’t exactly the same as before.”

“No, but what’s a few dozen scars?” Keith says, kissing another raised line on Shiro’s collarbone. “We all have them. _I_ have them, remember?”

“I remember.” Shiro says, but his voice is tense.

Keith sighs, pulling away from Shiro and turning so his back is to the older man and yanks off his own shirt. “This one,” He starts, pointing at the one in the bend of his waist that still hurts when he’s not careful, “Is from my first foster home. She went after me with a shard of glass. I needed twenty-three stitches, and she told them I fell and broke a mirror.” He glances over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

Shiro looks up at him in confusion. “What are you-”

“I told you I’d tell you about them one day.” Keith says, shrugging.  “The burn mark,” he gestures to his shoulder blade, and swallows, “is from The Incident. One of the guys decided to put out his cigarette on my shoulder. They laughed when I screamed.” His head snaps up when he feels Shiro shift. “If you hit the damn wall you are either going to break your hand again or punch a hole clean through it so stop.”

Shiro growls lowly, but there’s no resounding thump so Keith continues. “The woman shot me once,” he gestures to the middle of his right ribs the best he can. “She was always careful not to hit anything vital, or to touch my front. That’s why everything is on my back. Oh, but there is one on my left calf. She cut me with a knife, almost fucking hamstringed me but didn’t. No idea how she got under the radar with that one.”

He pauses for a moment, thinking. “I don’t have any lasting scars from the well incident but I essentially had to regrow all the skin on my palms so I still remember that, even if there’s really no lasting mark. The rest are from the woman’s hissy fits. Nothing that stands out.”

He sits still for a minute the feels Shiro’s chin on his shoulder and his arms wrap around his waist. Keith reaches up and combs through the white patch of Shiro’s hair. “You aren’t the only one with scars, Shiro. You have a hell of a lot more than me, but I know how it feels to not want anyone to see.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Shiro murmurs.

“Thank you for showing me.” Keith returns, leaning back against the solid weight of his boyfriend. God, he had missed him.

Shiro kisses his shoulder before speaking again. “I can’t help but notice you are very pointedly not letting me see your front. What’s going on Keith?”

Keith smiles slightly, one hand going to the new mark on his chest, but unlike the others, he had wanted this one. “Nothing bad, I assure you, but I did do…something while you were gone.”

“Mmhm?” Shiro pulls back and Keith turns around. Shiro spots the little square of black ink over his heart instantly.

“That’s the kanji for white.” He says slowly.

“Yep.” Keith leans back on his hands.

“You got a tattoo of the kanji of my name.”

“Yep.”

Shiro huffs and kisses him slowly. “Thought I was supposed to be the sappy one?”

“Yeah, well.” Keith tugs them down and wraps himself around Shiro, relishing the skin contact. “I thought you were dead. I was owed a little sentimentality.”

Shiro doesn’t say anything, but wraps his arms tightly around him.

Keith is quiet for a long moment, but, he has to ask. “Your… your muscles? How are they doing? Fighting in an alien gladiator ring can’t have helped their integrity.”

Shiro sighs. “I got pains on occasion, but actually, using them like I did kept me in shape. I still have a while before anything starts really… breaking down.”

“Well that’s something.” Keith mutters.

 They lay there in silence for several long minutes, Keith nuzzling further into Shiro’s warmth. He doesn’t think he could pull away, even if Shiro asked him to.

“So,” Keith murmurs, nosing against Shiro’s throat. “Mind if I stay the night?”

Shiro huffs again and kisses the top of his head. “I want you to stay every night.”

“No idea why Coran bothered giving us separate rooms.” Keith signs, closing his eyes. “That was dumb.”

Another kiss against his hair. “Go to sleep, baby.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“I promise.”

Keith sleeps.

~*~

Keith wakes up screaming Shiro’s name, which is not unusual these days. He gasps into the darkness, blinking rapidly as he realizes he doesn’t know where he is. It’s too white. Too noisy.

A hand touches his back and he jumps.

“’m here, Keith.” Shiro’s raspy voice comes out of the darkness. “’m right here, baby, it’s okay.”

Keith slumps back against the pillows and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes. Right, space lions. Alien planet. Defenders of the universe.

Shiro coming back alive.

“Come here.” Shiro murmurs, and Keith turns to bury his face in Shiro’s chest.

“You were gone.” Keith whispers. “Every night I see you die over and over, and I wake up calling out for you, but you never answer.”

“I’m here now.” Shiro tells him, squeezing him tightly. “And I’m not leaving you again.”

“Yeah,” Keith murmurs, kissing the skin over Shiro’s heart.

Shiro hums and rubs at his back. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Love you, Takashi.” Keith sighs, already drifting off.

“I love you too, Keith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter is long, but I didn't want to split it. Our boys are reunited! It's all smooth sailing from here on out, right?  
> (Hahaha, we wish)  
> I will go ahead and say this now, but Lance is going to come off as a major ass for a while. This is not me bashing Lance, because I do like him. But remember, this is from Keith's perspective, and he's been through a lot, and Lance does not know about any of that. So he doesn't realize for a long time how much of a dick he's going to be. So please forgive me for what is to come between them.  
> Have a lovely week, my dears, and I will see you on Wednesday for the beginnings of Season 1!
> 
> Just wait, though wide he may roam  
> Always, a hero comes home  
> He knows of places unknown  
> But always, a hero comes home  
> Someday they'll carve in stone  
> "The hero comes home"  
> He goes and comes back alone  
> But always, a hero comes home  
> \- A Hero Comes Home, Idina Menzel


	13. Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll, you're killing me with the comments and kudos. Seriously.  
> Here, have the beginning of S1 with Keith's extremely articulate, curse-filled commentary.

Keith stirs when Shiro climbs out of bed. He catches the man’s wrist with an annoyed grunt. “Where th’ fuck d’ you think you’re going?”

Shiro turns back and brushes a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “Not far. I just couldn’t stay still anymore. You go back to sleep.”

“Nah, I’m up now.” He groans and sits up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. “If it’s six AM on Earth I will laugh, and then I will scream.”

Shiro grins and tugs Keith to his feet. For the first time in a year, Keith does Tai Chi without feeling a pang in his chest.

When they’re done (after Keith shoves Shiro against the wall and makes out with him for a solid seven minutes) Shiro dresses in the paladin armor and does pushups while Keith sits cross-legged on his back, browsing through a datapad about the castle.

“Can I just say the fact that you can do this with me sitting on you and not even seem like you’re phased is incredibly attractive?” He says mildly, scrolling through the specs.

Shiro huffs. “You’ve never weighed very much, Keith.”

“Yeah, but tell me you could do this back at the Garrison.”

“Touché.”

Then the alarm goes off and Allura is shouting at them and then there is a long training montage that is really annoying and also Keith still wants to kill Lance. Just as a side note.

After having the castle shoot at them for hours, they fly back in, and Allura looks mad but none of them care. And then Shiro finds them.

“What are you all doing in here? We’re not taking a break.” He says, looking at them all. Keith groans with the rest of them. Fucking superman.

“Shiro’s right! You should be training!” Allura urges.

Hunk wants to go back to Earth, Pidge is still stubborn about finding her family and Coran tells them none of them trust each other. No duh.

He perks up upon mention of a training deck though.

They fight drones and they all fail pretty badly at that particular exercise. The maze…sucks, because Lance is apparently determined to believe Keith is just as invested in their “rivalry” as he is. The blind nosedive goes about as well (he admits that was not one of his finer moments, letting Lance get to him like that). Only Shiro aces that one.

Then the mind projection…thing. They each see what’s at the forefront of each other’s minds, and it’s sad, and enlightening, and difficult. Lance is picturing a lot of people who he misses very much. Hunk is thinking about food (this is somewhat unsurprising). Pidge is thinking about Matt.

Shiro is thinking about when he took Keith out to see the ship and promised that the next time either of them went to space, it would be together. Keith smiles. Looks like he kept that promise too.

He himself? Early morning out behind his shack. He and Shiro moving and breathing in sync. Nothing else in the world but the sound of their heartbeats.

Steadily they all manage to think about what they are _supposed_ to be thinking about, but then Pidge thinks about Matt again.

“Pidge, come on.” He says quietly, and Pidge snaps at him. He tries not to get pissed. He gets it, really he does. He misses Matt too.

They try again, and Pidge essentially rage-quits. Allura comes in while they’re trying to cool down and snaps at them again.

Keith does not think “the gladiator” is a good thing.

He’s right.

Things are going bad as it is – especially after the robot knocks Lance into him – but then Shiro looks like he’s having a terrible flashback and Keith has to jump in front of him so he doesn’t get his face bashed in.

“Shiro! It’s okay! You’re not wherever you think you are!” He glances back at Shiro briefly and is thrown bodily into him instead.

“Shiro, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, wincing at the pain in his stomach. Shiro’s eyes snap back into focus and he takes a shuddery breath.

“Sorry.” He mutters.

“Hey, I get it, remember? It’s okay.”

Then Allura yells at them again and Keith is really starting to lose his patience with her.

Then comes the lunch where they’re all tied together with energy handcuffs, and Keith starts panicking. He can’t move his hands. _Lance won’t let him move his hand_.

“Keith?” Shiro calls cautiously from the end of the table.

“’m okay.” He says, but his chest feels weird.

“No, you’re not.” Shiro says, voice hard. “Allura, you have to let us out of these things, right now.”

“Not until you all can act as a team.”

Keith’s head feels fuzzy, and his breathing is coming in shallow pants. He tries to calm himself down without making it obvious he’s freaking the fuck out. _It’s okay, you’re okay, you aren’t even on Earth right now this has nothing to do with The Incident, and Shiro is here. It’s okay._

It doesn’t work. “Shiro,” he chokes.

“You’re okay, Keith, I’m here.”

“Allura this is clearly freaking Keith out!” Pidge snaps and extends her arm so he can at least maneuver the hand that’s attached to her. “Let us out of these things!”

They all yell at Allura then and Keith is getting more and more freaked out by the second. He’s _agreeing with Lance,_ that’s how freaked out he feels. Then there is a food fight, Keith is released _thank Christ_ and they go form Voltron.

“Man, that was cool! I’m so charged up, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to sleep tonight!” Lance shouts when they get back inside.

Keith huffs. “Not me. When my head hits the pillow, I’m gonna be lights out.” He glances over at Shiro and he smirks. “As long as the pillow cooperates, of course.”

Shiro sighs, but he’s smiling.

Lance looks like he’s about to ask for clarification, but Hunk drags them both into hugs before he can. Keith flinches and ducks out of the Yellow Paladin’s hold as quickly as he can. Hunk frowns. “Sorry, dude. No hugs?”

“Not the hugging type.” He mutters, then perks up as he spots Shiro starting to leave the room. He hops over the back of the couch and follows his boyfriend back to his – their, he supposes – room and groans as he peels out of his clothes.

“Today was a bitch.” He sighs and flops down onto the bed. Shiro sits at the edge and takes off his boots before rubbing at Keith’s back.

“You okay? The handcuffs must have set you off.”

“That, was not fun.” He confirms.

“I cannot believe Allura pulled a stunt like that.” Shiro mutters, combing his human fingers through Keith’s hair. “Even after it was obvious you were in distress.”

Keith shrugs. “I’m used to people ignoring my boundaries.”

Shiro’s eyes narrow.

“Not you, of course, because you’re one of the rare decent fucking human beings in existence.” Keith says before Shiro can start growling. He sits up and kisses the older man’s cheek. “I survived, okay? I’m fine, I promise. And now, I want to sleep. So as my pillow, you need to get in bed, so I might do that.”

Shiro laughs quietly and slides in beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Keith is asleep in moments.

~*~

The next day they form Voltron without a hitch. Also, side note, Hunk is an amazing chef and Keith is pretty sure if he wasn’t there, they’d all die of food poisoning. Then they encounter the local Arusians. No offense to the princess, but Keith isn’t exactly a peace and diplomacy type of guy. But he goes with the others to the village.

The tiny little creatures like hugging him, but he puts up with it. They’re about as un-human-like as he can imagine, so it’s not like they’re triggering him. Though the one with the super deep voice does ping something in the back of his head. He sets that one down quickly.

Then there is a fight with a gladiator, robot, thing, that apparently Shiro should have already defeated but is back now, so that’s great. Shiro guides them through kicking its ass and Keith makes a giant sword with his bayard, so that’s pretty cool.

He sees the former prisoners off, then goes in search of Shiro. He finds him as he’s telling Pidge how he attacked Matt to save him.

“You attacked him so they’d chose you instead.” Pidge throws her arms around Shiro. “I’m so sorry I doubted you. Thank you, thank you so much.”

Shiro smiles and puts his hands on the girl’s shoulders. “I can tell you really miss them. I know they miss you too. Your brother and father would be proud of you, Katie.”

Pidge jerks back and stares up at Shiro in shock.

“Don’t worry,” he tells her. “Your secret’s safe with me.” She straightens and wipes at her eyes.

“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?” She asks, laughing quietly.

“I’ve known your family for years, of course I knew.”

Keith walks out and sits down on Shiro’s other side. Pidge tenses and Shiro turns to smile at him.

“Of course you put yourself in harm’s way for Matt.” He sighs and punches Shiro lightly in the shoulder. “You and your goddamn superman complex, I swear.” He leans forwards so he can see Pidge. “Nice to actually meet you, by the way. Matt never shut up about you.”

Pidge smiles. “To be fair, Shiro never shut up about you either.”

Keith shrugs. “I know.” Shiro sputters between them.

“Oh, hey,” Pidge says, catching his attention again. “About the Iverson thing. I didn’t get to say it at the time, but thanks. You didn’t have to help.”

Keith sneers. “Yeah, I did. Iverson fucking deserved it.”

“But you got kicked out for it.” Pidge protests.

“I was on my way out anyway. They were just looking for an excuse. Like you, I was asking too many questions. Besides, it’s not like there was anything keeping me there.”

Shiro’s arm wraps around his shoulders and pulls him in, kissing the top of his head. “Sap.” Keith mutters, and Pidge grins excitedly.

“I knew you two were dating! I _knew_ Matt was lying!”

“We asked him not to say anything.” Shiro tells her.

“No, it’s fine, I get it, sort of, but I _knew it!”_

Keith rolls his eyes. Something told him life in the Castle of Lions was never going to be boring.

~*~

The next night is the send-off party, and just like pretty much everything else in Keith’s life, it goes badly very quickly. To start, Pidge wants to leave. Now Keith wouldn’t say he has abandonment issues (he totally has abandonment issues) but after their bonding yesterday, Keith feels like this is somewhat of a betrayal, and so he might get just a little angry.

And then the castle blows, and Lance is hurt. Bad. Cue everyone splitting up, Keith and Allura getting locked out of the castle, and Keith having to listen to that fucker Sendak torturing Shiro. He hates feeling so fucking useless.

So when the particle barrier comes down after almost an entire day, Keith rushes in and finds Sendak, and punches him in the fucking face. As soon as Sendak is trapped Keith runs to Shiro while Allura helps Pidge to her feet.

“Are you okay?” He asks frantically, cupping the man’s face.

“I’m fine.” Shiro says, giving him a tired smile. “Check on Lance and make sure he’s still breathing.” Keith nods and kisses Shiro briefly before walking over and helping Lance sit up.

After they all retire to their rooms, Keith gets Shiro out of his armor as quickly as possible and examines him from head to toe.

“I told you, I’m okay.” Shiro laughs, stilling Keith’s frantic hands. “Trust me, baby, I’ve had worse.”

“That is _not_ reassuring, Takashi.” Keith growls and kisses Shiro, tugging against the grip on his hands. Shiro releases them instantly, as Keith knew he would.

“Have you gotten your test results back from Coran yet?” he asks, biting Shiro’s shoulder.

Shiro grunts and wraps his arms around Keith’s waist.

“Not yet.” He says. “Soon though. Should be in the next day or two.”

“Good, because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to wait.” Keith kisses Shiro again and shoves him down onto the bed, straddling him and grinding their hips together, causing Shiro to groan. He doesn’t stop until they’re both arching up in pleasure as they come in their underwear.

He slumps against Shiro and nuzzles into his neck. “So there.” He says tiredly, and Shiro laughs breathlessly against his hair.

~*~

Keith is awoken in the middle of the night, although not by his own dreams. Instead, he is jolted awake by sudden movement on his left. He sits up groggily and turns to see what’s got Shiro all squirmy, only for his eyes to widen as he realizes what’s going on.

Shiro is shaking violently, sweat dripping down his face. His jaw is clenched, and he is thrashing so hard Keith thinks he’s about to fall off the bed. He is also making small, distressed noises, and clawing at the sheets.

He’s having a nightmare.

For a moment, Keith is unsure of what to do. He’s never been the one to have to do the awakening and comforting and reassuring before. He’s not sure he’ll be any good at it. But, this is Shiro. Shiro, who has brought him down from so many panic-inducing night terrors he’s lost count. He has to try.

“Shiro,” he murmurs, brushing Shiro’s bangs out of his face carefully. “Hey, it’s okay. Come on, wake up for me. You’re safe.”

Shiro’s brow furrows. Hopefully that means he can hear him. “You are not in their game anymore. They can’t touch you here. I won’t _let_ them touch you. Come on, Takashi, you’ve protected me from myself so many times. Let me do the same for you. Wake up.”

He pats Shiro’s face gently, and the Black Paladin’s eyes fly open. He gasps and flings himself back, off the bed, landing in a crouch and still breathing heavily.

“Takashi, you’re okay,” Keith soothes, holing up his hands placatingly. “It’s okay. You’re in the castle. You’re safe.”

“…Keith.” Shiro breathes, and sags, sitting down on the floor heavily.

“Hey, you know where you are?”

“Yeah,” the older man says weakly, rubbing a hand over his face.

Keith carefully slides off the bed and kneels in front of Shiro. “Can I touch you?”

“Yeah.”

Keith’s hands slide up and over Shiro’s shoulders, carefully tugging him forwards so the older man’s head rests on his own shoulder.

“You’re safe, Takashi. I’m not ever going to let them touch you again.” He swears, fingers petting through the short hairs on the back of Shiro’s head.

“’M sorry I woke you.” Shiro mutters into his shoulder.

Keith frowns. “Don’t apologize. God knows I’ve woken you up plenty, for the same reason. I just wish we could have kept the nightmares confined to me. You don’t need to be dealing with them too.”

Shiro makes a small, indeterminate noise, and pulls back. “Thanks for waking me up.”

Keith rolls his eyes and leans forwards to press his lips against the scar on Shiro’s nose. “Of course I woke you up. I’d never leave you trapped in your own head. Trust me, I know what that’s like.”

“I know.” Shiro sighs and closes his eyes, pressing their foreheads together.

“Can I kiss you?” Keith asks quietly, and Shiro huffs a laugh.

“That’s my line.”

“Can I?”

“…Yeah.”

Keith tilts his head and presses his lips to Shiro’s gently. Keith normally kisses with intense purpose and heat, and Shiro’s the one who has to temper them, but he knows that now of all times, he has to be careful with the man in his arms.

 “I love you, Takashi.” He murmurs, pulling back slightly so he can see Shiro properly. “I love you, and I’m never letting anyone hurt you again.”

“I love you too.” Shiro sighs, before rocking back on his heels and standing, dragging Keith with him. “It’s cold on the floor. Let’s get back in bed.”

“Good call.” He lets Shiro tug him back into bed, then turns and pushes Shiro on his back before draping himself over his boyfriend like an extra blanket.

“Keith,” Shiro sighs, but Keith can hear the smile.

“Fuck off, Takashi, I know I’m not heavy. And you’re cold. And I’m a goddamn furnace. Let me be your heater.”

Shiro sighs again, but Keith feels him press a kiss to the top of his head then grab the blankets and tug them over the both of them. It is silent for several minutes, and Keith figures Shiro’s asleep again, until the other man speaks.

“Thank you, Keith.”

Keith sighs, nuzzling into Shiro’s neck and pressing his lips against his pulse. “Anytime, Shiro.”

~*~

The next day Lance wakes up – Keith is mildly insulted he doesn’t remember the five minutes they actually got along – Pidge tells everybody else she’s a girl – apparently the only person who’s actually surprised is Lance – and then they take off from Arus and head towards the Balmera to save Hunk’s alien girlfriend.

Then they get a distress signal.

“This is so cool! It’s like we’re space cops on space patrol!” Lance says giddily. “Coran, do we have a siren we could turn on?”

“Ah, no, but we could record you making a siren _noise_ and broadcast that to them.”

Oh please for the love of god no.

“Perfect!” Lance opens his mouth but Shiro claps a hand over it before he can get going.

“Nope, we’re not doing that.”

Keith sighs in relief. “Shiro, I want you to know that I have never loved you more than I do right this minute.”

Shiro laughs and holds out an arm for Keith to duck under. “Really, now? If I’d known that was all I had to do I would have done it much sooner.” He teases and kisses the top of Keith’s head.

“WHAT!?”

Both of them jump at Lance’s shout.

“You two are _together!?_ What the hell!? Since when!?”

Keith realizes that literally everyone is staring at them in stunned silence, except for Pidge, who is grinning.

“Uh, yeah?” Keith says, confused. “We were dating long before Shiro even left for Kerberos.”

“But you two never act like it!” Hunk sputters.

“I’m not good with PDA.” Keith shrugs. “And Shiro needs to maintain his leaderly image.”

“Leaderly?” Shiro asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut it, Takashi.”

“Takashi?” Allura inquires.

“My first name.” Shiro explains. “Shiro is a nickname that everyone uses. Only Keith ever calls me Takashi.”

“Damn straight.” Keith mutters, and Shiro ruffles his hair.

“Fuck, you guys really are so gay.” Pidge laughs.

Keith sighs. “When we finally find Matt, I am going to kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part about being articulate was a joke.  
> So everyone knows they're together and things continue to be Voltron-y, just with the additions of things bothering Keith and Shiro being even more of an over-protective marshmallow than he is in canon. More S1 to come, and let me say, I hate what's coming in the retelling of Crystal Venom.  
> Have a good week, everyone! See you Sunday!
> 
> We live in cities you'll never see on screen  
> Not very pretty, but we sure know how to run things  
> Living in ruins of a palace within my dreams  
> And you know, we're on each other's team  
> \- Team, Lorde


	14. Leader of the Broken Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all. Have a long chapter with hallucinations, angst, smut, and more angst. Enjoy!

Turns out the people who sent out the distress signal were looking to get a bounty on the lions, which was very annoying and Keith had to get Lance’s lion back for him. (He does inevitably go get the idiot loose from the tree, but only because Shiro gives him a very pointed look when he suggests leaving him there for a few hours).

They finally arrive at the Balmera several hours later. There is a mild incident where everyone makes laser-gun noises that Keith doesn’t get _why_  but Shiro’s having fun so he just rolls with it.

They take out a lot of mining equipment and Keith discovers the heat ray, which is pretty fucking cool. And Lance gets a freeze ray.

“Aw snap! These rays are super cool, just like me.” He preens.

Keith knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help himself. “So, does that mean I’m super hot?” He grins when the words cause both Lance _and Shiro_ to sputter.

“Keith!”

“Sorry, Shiro.” He purrs.

The Galra don’t emerge, so he and Lance are sent to take care of the fighters before they can be utilized. Once they get inside the control room, he watches for guards and Lance tries to figure out the controls.

“Ugh, I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Lance admits. “It’s all Galra gibberish.”

“Let me see,” Keith returns to Lance’s side and examines the panel carefully. He sees the large hand-reader and sets his own hand over-top of it, and the bay doors slide closed.

“Whoa! How’d you do that?”

Keith shrugs. “I just put my hand on the hand-print.”

Shiro orders them down to the core and they book it, but are stopped by sentries that shoot at them ceaselessly. Keith climbs above and moves around them while Lance acts as a distraction and Keith is able to dispatch them without harming the Balmera further. But of course, then they walk right into a trap, because of fucking course it’s a trap.

Shay – Hunk’s rock girlfriend – saves them by getting a message to her family. But since things always go from bad to worse, the Balmera is dying and falling apart. Which is bad, considering it is inhabited by tens of thousands of Balmerans. Oh and to top it all off, another monstrous robot has found them, and Shiro doesn’t know how to beat it off the top of his head this time. And it has about a hundred lasers.

Keith just _knows_ this is gonna suck ass.

Yep, it totally does.

The Balmerans are trapped in the ground, and Allura pulls off some crazy stunt that almost kills her but heals the planet, and in turn the Balmera incases the creature in crystal, so it turns out okay, he supposes.

He collapses on Shiro as soon as they aren’t in peril anymore. “I,” He says decisively. “Need to go to bed now.”

“Okay,” Shiro hums. Hunk opts to stay with Shay for the evening but the rest of them go back to their rooms and crash. Keith would have fallen asleep in his paladin armor if Shiro hadn’t stripped it off of him.

“Come on, baby, you can’t fall asleep like this.” Shiro murmurs, tugging off the bits of red armor that protect Keith’s forearms.

“Fucking watch me.” Keith grumbles, but lifts his arms when Shiro prompts him, so he can side off the chest plate. Once Shiro’s got Keith sorted, he strips out of his own armor and collapses into bed as well. They are asleep in seconds.

~*~

The next day, after they leave the Balmera, they finally get around to “interrogating” Sendak. It goes about as well as one would expect, seeing as they’re trying to dig around in his head while he’s unconscious. All they really establish is that Lance is terrible at comebacks. Even Shiro rolls his eyes.

Eventually, Keith taps out. “Well, I can’t wait around anymore. I’m gonna hit the training deck.”

“Don’t overexert yourself.” Shiro reminds him absently.

“Sure thing, superman.”

He gets to the training deck and goes through two levels before the third lands him on his ass. He stands and decides maybe he won’t push it. Besides, he should probably eat, and check on Shiro.

“End training sequence.” He sighs, straightening. But the gladiator comes after him again, and again, and knocks his bayard out of his hands. He manages to dodge and get it back before he bolts from the training deck and seals the doors behind him. He has a brief moment to catch his breath, before the damn thing breaks through the door in pursuit of him.

Keith groans and starts running. He hates this goddamn castle sometimes.

~*~

Shiro doesn’t know how long he stands in front of Sendak’s pod. He is barely aware of the others leaving. He remembers Sendak from his time in the arena. He loved watching the prisoners kill each other, got upset when it ended without a death. Shiro’s jaw tightens. He doesn’t want this monster anywhere near his team. Or Keith.

“What was the first rank you held in Zarkon’s army?” He asks, trying to provoke _any_ response. “Where did you find the Red Lion?” Still nothing. Shiro is getting frustrated. “What is Zarkon’s greatest weakness?”

_“What makes you think you can possibly defeat him?”_ Sendak’s voice echoes in his ears.

Shiro feels uneasy but presses on anyway. “If you were to attack Zarkon, where would you strike?”

A long silence, then _“Why strike at all…when you can join him?”_ Shiro jumps and looks around, but Sendak seems to still be asleep in the pod.

_“We’re connected, you and me. Both part of the Galra empire.”_

“No, I’m nothing like you.” Shiro spits.

_“You’ve been broken, and reformed. Just look at your hand. Aren’t you afraid to touch your lover with it, for fear of what you might do to him?”_

Shiro glances down at the hand in question and tightens it into a fist. “That’s not me. I would never hurt him.”

_“Wouldn’t you? It’s the strongest part of you. Embrace it. The others don’t know what you know. They haven’t seen what you’ve seen. Face it, you’ll never beat Zarkon. He’s already defeated you!”_

“I’m not listening to you!”

_“Do you really think that a monster like you could be a Voltron Paladin? Your boy will die screaming, and it will be your doing!”_

“Stop!” Shiro swings, hand activating, but instead of connecting with glass, he connects with something soft. A choked off gasp comes from the figure in front of him, and slim fingers wrap around the wrist of his Galra hand.

His eyes open and he stares in horror.

Keith is standing in front of him, eyes wide, a gaping hole punched clean through his chest. Shiro’s hand is covered in blood.

“No. No no no, Keith.” Shiro catches him as he falls.

“Takashi,” Keith coughs, and blood runs down his chin. “Why-?”

“I didn’t,” Shiro swallows. “I don’t…Keith I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry…”

“Takashi…” Keith tries to reach up to touch him, but then his eyes glaze over and his hand falls to the floor.

He’s dead, and Shiro killed him.

Sendak laughs. He laughs and laughs and laughs and Shiro can’t take it. He punches the release for the pod and it jettisons out into space.

Shiro sits there for a long time. He can’t look at Keith. He can’t look at what he did. Sendak was right. He had always been right. Shiro had known it, but had never wanted to admit it.

A feeling like nausea begins to build in the pit of his stomach, and he clamps his human hand over his mouth. He can smell blood, warm, wet and cloying, and it’s coming from his other hand. Keith’s blood.

He thought it would be okay. He thought he could control it. That he could never hurt the one person he loves more than anything. But the Galra took too much from him. He’s the monster the witch wanted him to be.

He thinks of the confusion and fear in Keith’s eyes. The betrayal. Keith had _trusted_ him…

The nausea wins. He hasn’t eaten, so all that comes up is bile, and it burns his throat. Now that the sick feeling is gone, he feels numb, hollow, cold. He can’t feel his own limbs, though he somehow manages to lean against a wall, and bury his face in his hands.

He starts shaking.

He killed Keith.

He’s a monster.

Sendak was right.

_Sendak was right_.

~*~

Keith dodges the homicidal gladiator all throughout the halls until he stumbles across an airlock where Lance is. The doors open and Lance clings tightly to a ridge in the wall, and Keith opens the door, sending the gladiator out and pulling Lance back inside, doors shutting behind him.

“What were you doing out there!?” Keith barks.

“Who was that guy!?” Lance counters.

“He was trying to kill me!”

Lance frowns. “Well is he the castle because that’s who’s trying to kill me!”

Oh shit.

Keith and Lance find Coran, and then they go looking for Hunk and Pidge. Apparently the castle has been screwing with all of them. Coran mentions the screwed up crystal, and Sendak, and suddenly Keith has a very bad feeling.

“Sendak.” He says, frowning. “Wait, has anyone seen Shiro?” They all shake their heads, and a cold, sinking feeling seeps into Keith’s chest. He turns and sprints towards the room where he’d last seen the Black Paladin, and bursts into the room.

Shiro is curled against the wall, trembling, and Sendak is gone.

“Shiro!” Keith calls, and hurries over, dropping in front of the older paladin and trying to tug his hands away from his face. “Hey, come on, talk to me. Are you okay?”

“Keith?” Shiro’s head snaps up. His eyes are unfocused, and moisture clings to his lashes. Fuck, he’d been _crying._ Keith is going to kill something.

The Black Paladin is shaking and looking at Keith with wide eyes. He looks like he’s seeing a ghost. “You’re okay? I didn’t…” His human hand settles over a spot on Keith’s chest and Keith places his own over it, frowning.

“I’m fine.” He says, confused.

Shiro takes a shuddering breath and tugs Keith hard against his chest. Keith feels tears soak into his shirt as Shiro starts crying again _._ “Thank god, thank _god,_ I thought you were dead. I thought I’d killed you.”

Keith’s eyes widen. Oh god. “Hey, no, no, I’m okay. I’m fine, you didn’t do anything to me, okay? Come on, Takashi, look at me.”

Shiro lifts his head and Keith presses their foreheads together, thumbing at the tear tracks on his face. “I am just fine. Whatever you think you saw, it wasn’t real, okay? It was a hallucination generated by the castle. It’s been screwing with us all pretty badly. I’ve been fighting off one of the training gladiators on the other side of the castle, so you couldn’t have done a thing to me, okay? Hey,”

He kisses Shiro, unconcerned with the audience behind them. Shiro makes a wounded noise and kisses back frantically.

“You okay?” he asks after pulling back.

Shiro shakes his head to clear it. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.”

Keith doubts that highly but knows better than to point that out at present. This is a conversation they should have in private. “Where’s Sendak?” He asks instead.

“I might have jettisoned his pod out into space.” Shiro admits haltingly.

“Well, that’s better than him running around on the ship.” Keith says and helps Shiro to his feet. And then they have to go stop Allura and her AI father from steering them into a sun.

~*~

After that fun adventure, they all split up and go back to what they were doing. Keith goes to their room to talk to Shiro about what happened, and finds the door locked.

“Oh you stubborn, self-sacrificing _bastard_.” Keith growls. He paces in front of the door for a minute, then thinks “fuck it” and goes to find Pidge so she can hack the door.

On his way to the Green Lion’s hangar, he bumps into Coran.

“Ah, Keith! I figured you’d be with Shiro!”

“I would be,” Keith says, gnashing his teeth. “But he locked me out because he blames himself for whatever the castle made him see, so I need to get Pidge to hack the door for me.”

“Ah, well.” Coran clears his throat, then perks up. “Well then I suppose you can give him the news. I assume it’s relevant to you as well, considering your relationship status, no?”

“News?”

Coran hands him a datapad. “The results of all Shiro’s tests.”

Keith’s eyes widen and he quickly scrolls through the info on the pad. “He’s clean.” Keith grins. “I told him he had nothing to worry about.”

“Perhaps, but he wanted to make sure you would be safe, correct?”

“Yeah.” Keith shakes his head and hands the pad back to Coran. “Thanks for this. Oh, um,” Keith blushes as he realizes he needs to address Shiro’s _other_ concern about sleeping together. “When, uh, when two human men are, er, _intimate_ , we need, um.”

Coran frowns for a moment at Keith’s stammering, then brightens again. “Ah! Personal lubricant. Yes, Shiro mentioned that when he requested the tests. Thank you for reminding me! I have some right here. I was going to give it to Shiro when I gave him the news.” Coran produces a bottle from one of his pockets and passes it to Keith. “Don’t worry, it’s safe for human use, both external and internal. Pop by the med bay when you need more. Goodnight, Paladin!”

Coran walks on down the corridor, whistling to himself. Keith sighs and shakes his head before slipping the bottle into one of his pouches, then goes to get Pidge.

Pidge frowns when he tells her that Shiro locked him out, and she joins him in grumbling as they make their way back to the room. She has the door unlocked in under ten seconds.

“Take care of him, Keith.” She says as the door slides open.

“I will.”

She leaves, and Keith enters the room, frowning when he doesn’t see Shiro. He perks up when he hears water running in the attached bathroom though. Keith pokes his head in to see Shiro in the shower, head bent under the stream of water and breathing heavily, hands curled into fists against the tiled wall.

Keith sighs quietly then strips out of his clothes, padding silently into the room and placing his hand against the door panel, stepping inside when it slides open.

Shiro jumps when he wraps his arms around his waist. “The door was supposed to be locked.” He murmurs, placing his human hand on Keith’s arms.

“I had Pidge break in.” He says, pressing his cheek against the skin of Shiro’s shoulder blade. He can feel the raised lines of scars under his touch. “Because you were being stubborn, and self-sacrificing, and that was stupid. You need to _talk_ to me, superman, not shut me out.”

“I know.” Shiro heaves a sigh, and then they are both quiet, listening to the steady beat of the water. “I thought I killed you, Keith.” He whispers.

“What happened?”

“I could hear Sendak in my head, telling me I was a monster, that I was going to hurt you. I snapped and was going to, I don’t know, punch through the glass, just to shut him up, but instead of glass, I hit you. I punched a hole right through your chest. You died in my arms.”

Silence descends again. “You didn’t actually hurt me, you know.” Keith says eventually. “It was all a hallucination. I’m fine.”

“I know that, but it so easily _could_ have been you.” Shiro turns to face him, tears in his eyes again. “This _thing_ ,” he spits, holding up his Galra hand, “is capable of so much damage. I’ve killed so many people with it, some much tougher than any human. Imagine what it could do to _you_.” He takes a shuddering breath and closes his eyes. “I know I have.”

Keith sighs, then grabs the hand in question, lacing their fingers together. Shiro startles and tries to pull away, but Keith holds firm.

“I don’t care about where it came from, or what it can do. I know you won’t hurt me.”

“But it-” Shiro starts, but Keith cuts him off.

_“It is part of you_.” He says firmly. “The Galra might have built it, but it is yours now. You use it to fight for us. To defend us. _You_ are the one in control of _it,_ not the other way around.” He tightens his grip on the metal hand and Shiro swallows.

“I think you’ve forgotten something very important, Takashi, so let me remind you: _I trust you_. Remember? I trust you, and I don’t trust _anybody_. The others on the team, I’ll fight for them, and I’ll watch their backs, but I don’t trust them with me. But you, I _know_ you. So when I say you won’t hurt me, I know you won’t because at every turn, from the day we met until right this very moment, you have done _nothing_ but look out for my wellbeing. I don’t care what has changed about your body, you are still the Takashi Shirogane I’ve always known, Galra arm or no.”

Shiro exhales shakily and presses their foreheads together. “You really trust me that much?”

“I always have.” Keith murmurs and kisses him. Shiro groans and wraps his arms around Keith’s waist, turning them so he can press Keith up against the wall. Keith opens his mouth for the older man’s probing tongue, and sighs into it. Shiro’s always kissed him like he’s something precious.

“Let me show you.” He hums, kissing Shiro’s jawline softly when the older man pulls away. “Let me remind you just how much I trust you.”

Shiro sighs and leans his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Keith, we can’t-”

“Actually, we can.” Keith tells him, combing through his wet hair gently. “I ran into Coran earlier. You’re one hundred percent clean. And on top of that, he gave me some _personal lubricant_ that’s completely safe for human use. So, what were you saying?”

Shiro huffs a laugh and kisses Keith’s shoulder. “Okay.”

They shut off the water and dry each other off slowly, stealing kisses every few seconds. By the time they finally make it to the bed, Keith is plenty riled up, but something occurs to him as Shiro pushes him down into the sheets.

“Hey,” He murmurs, placing a hand in the center of Shiro’s chest. “You know I’m not the only one who gets a say here, right?”

Shiro raises an eyebrow, rocking back on his heels at Keith’s gentle push. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you might have told me a hell of a long time ago that I have the power to veto whatever I need to, but I hope you know that you do too. If you really were protesting, not just because of the tests, then we don’t have to do this. God knows I don’t want to force you into anything, _ever_.”

Shiro smiles softly and ducks down to press a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “I appreciate the thought, baby, but it’s unnecessary. You’re not the only one who’s missed being close.”

Keith sighs and drops back against the pillows, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Okay, good. Now, fuck me.”

Shiro’s gentle laughter shakes the bed and Keith smiles. Fuck, he’d missed this. He exhales on a breathy sigh when he feels Shiro’s lips trace down his throat and over his chest, jolting when they brush past a nipple.

“Ah hell,” He gasps, arm lifting from his face so he can thread his fingers into the black and white strands of Shiro’s hair.

Shiro hums around the bud, and Keith curses again. He relaxes into the feeling of it after a moment, pleased that he’s not quite so sensitive anymore.

And then Shiro scrapes his teeth against the raised flesh, and Keith nearly jackknifes off the bed.

“Fuck!”

Shiro laughs again and lifts his head, grinning smugly. “You’re still so sensitive.” He coos, and begins kissing down Keith’s chest again, pausing to swipe his tongue over his other nipple.

“It – dammit! It has been, over a fucking _year_ , Takashi.” He pants, fingers tightening in the older man’s hair. Shiro hums as he kisses down Keith’s stomach. If he fucking does what Keith thinks he’s about to do-

Shiro’s tongue flicks over the head of Keith’s dick and the younger pilot yelps. Fucking tease.

Shiro grins and presses a kiss to Keith’s hip before taking Keith’s erection in hand and sliding his lips over the head.

“Fff, Takashi,” Keith growls in the back of his throat and arches up, forcing Shiro to hold his hips in place, much to Keith’s annoyance. Shiro hums, amusement clear in his eyes at Keith’s aggravated whine, and slides down lower, lower, until his nose is buried in the curls at the base of Keith’s cock.

“God,” Keith pants, but doesn’t try to buck again, Shiro would just go even slower.

Shiro hums again, causing Keith to shudder and then he fucking swallows and Keith loses his thought process for a bit.

He comes back to himself several long, hazy moments later when Shiro pulls off with an obscene pop. “You still with me?” He rasps and god, the things that voice does to Keith…

“Yeah,” He mumbles, and drags Shiro back up his body to kiss him messily. “Yeah, I’m here. More or less.”

At Shiro’s concerned look Keith sighs and presses their foreheads together. “In a _good_ way, Shiro. I promise I’m fine. Now,” He hangs off the side of the bed for a moment and grabs his pants, unzipping the pouch where he’d stashed the alien lube and tosses the bottle into Shiro’s hands.

Shiro catches it deftly in his metal hand and flicks the cap open. A mild, clean scent emanates from the bottle, reminding Keith of the smell of freshly washed cotton, but earthier.

Shiro’s eyebrows lift as he pours some of the green tinged gel onto his fingers. “Nice.”

“Remind me to ask Coran for ten more bottles tomorrow.” Keith grins and flops back down onto the bed.

“Ten?” Shiro asks in clear amusement as he sets the bottle off to the side and pushes Keith’s legs apart further so he can rub his coated fingertips against his twitching hole.

“Yeah,” Keith sighs and spreads his legs further, moaning quietly as Shiro presses a little more firmly, but still not yet pressing inside. “Always prepared, right?”

“Pretty sure you were never a boy scout, Keith.” Shiro laughs and finally, _finally_ slips a finger inside while Keith is distracted.

“ _Oh_ ,” Keith gasps, fingers curling into the sheets. Fuck, he forgot how good Shiro could make this feel.

Shiro hums and wiggles the offending digit slightly, causing Keith’s breath to hitch. “Good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Keith pants. “I’m good. Another.”

“Are you-”

“I’m _sure_ , Shiro, _please_.” He begs. He didn’t really feel it until Shiro was inside him, but he _needs_ this. And from the way Shiro is trembling when he adds a second finger, Keith’s pretty sure he needs it too. Sex has never been the epicenter of their relationship, but it always helps to reaffirm the closeness they feel towards each other.

Plus, it feels _fantastic_.

While Shiro is busy stretching him – a process Keith knows he will not speed up for anything – his gaze drifts to Shiro’s metal hand, braced on the mattress next to Keith’s hip. Carefully, he reaches out and runs his fingers over the smooth surface, causing Shiro to freeze briefly.

“Can you feel that?” Keith asks, curious, and drags his fingers back down towards Shiro’s wrist.

“A little.” Shiro admits. “I can feel the change in pressure and temperature, at least. It sort of feels like I’m wearing a glove. I can feel the fact that you’re touching me, but not anything specific.”

Keith hums thoughtfully before lacing his fingers with the metal ones and squeezing. He sees Shiro tense, like he’s going to try and pull away, but Keith just squeezes his hand again.

“You’re not gonna hurt me.” He murmurs.

Shiro closes his eyes briefly, before moving his fingers again, pressing against the little bundle of nerves that sets off sparks behind Keith’s eyelids.

“Fuck, Takashi, please,”

“Don’t worry, baby, I got you,” Shiro murmurs, ducking to press a kiss to Keith’s hip and surprisingly, tightening his metal fingers against Keith’s hand. A moment later, he slides in a third finger and Keith starts begging.

“Takashi, please, please, need you, wanna feel you, _please_ ,”

A shudder wracks through Shiro’s frame and he carefully slides his fingers out, causing Keith to whimper.  He reaches for the bottle again and slicks up his own cock before shifting to loom over Keith’s body.

“You ready?” He asks quietly, kissing Keith’s jaw.

“I’ve been waiting for more than a year, Takashi,” Keith murmurs, nudging their foreheads together gently. “Trust me, I’m ready.”

Shiro presses a kiss to Keith’s forehead, his own little tradition, and gently presses inside.

Keith’s body locks down briefly, but before any memories come to the surface, he’s back, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and kissing him before he can ask.

It _had_ been a long time after all. His body had forgotten that sex with Shiro was safe, was a _good thing_ , but he would make damn sure it remembered quick.

“I’m okay.” He promises when he pulls away. “Don’t stop.”

Shiro nods once before moving his hips again, Keith arches up, helping move things along until Shiro is fully inside and _damn_.

Damn, he’d almost forgotten how _good_ this is. How close he feels to Shiro in moments like this, when he can’t tell where he ends and Shiro begins. He sighs and leans up to kiss Shiro again briefly.

“Move.” He breathes against Shiro’s lips.

He moves, hips sliding back until he’s almost completely out, and then slams back in. Keith gasps, arms tightening around Shiro’s shoulders. Normally he started out slow and built up to a fast pace, but it looks like Keith wasn’t the only impatient one.

“Fuck, Takashi, do that again.” He demands. The older man seems more than willing to comply. Every sharp roll of his hips sends Keith a little closer to the edge, and _fuck_ he is so not gonna last long at all, this is going to be embarrassing.

Fuck it, it had been a year. He figures he can cut himself some slack, this first time.

“Takashi, fuck, feels so good, so close,” he gasps and sinks his teeth into the juncture of Shiro’s neck and shoulder.

Shiro grunts at the sudden sharp sting of pain, but works his human hand in between their bodies to grasp Keith’s erection, stroking firmly in time with his thrusts.

“It’s okay, baby, I got you, come for me.” He purrs into Keith’s ear, and the coil of heat in Keith’s stomach snaps.

He arches up, gasping for breath as the force of his orgasm rolls through him. “Fuck, fuck, Takashi, love you, missed you, need you so bad…” He’s babbling but like hell he can control it with most of his brain still reeling.

Shiro’s breath hitches, and then Keith feels the warmth of Shiro spilling inside him and he shudders, his dick giving a valiant twitch at the sensation.

“You okay, baby?” Shiro murmurs a moment later, nuzzling against Keith’s temple.

Keith hums and stretches his legs out, wincing as the muscles pull. “Yeah, yeah I’m good. Damn, I missed that.”

Shiro hums and leans down, pressing his forehead against Keith’s shoulder. “I did, too.” He presses a kiss to the side of Keith’s neck before withdrawing – causing Keith to hiss as he slides out of his sore body – and getting to his feet, padding into the bathroom and returning with a damp cloth a few seconds later.

Keith hums as Shiro wipes him down, closing his eyes and relaxing into the familiar sensation. His pleased hum turns into more of a purr when Shiro slides back into bed, tugging the covers out from under them and pulling them up snugly around their shoulders.

“Yep, sex with you is still awesome.” Keith hums without opening his eyes.

Shiro snorts and pushes Keith gently until he’s on his back. He sighs as Shiro shifts down to press an ear against his chest, to hear his heartbeat. He runs his fingers through Shiro’s hair slowly and closes his eyes. They’re both quiet for several moments, enjoying the afterglow. Then Keith snickers.

“What?” Shiro murmurs.

“That was embarrassingly quick. It took me, what, five minutes to come? Fucking hell, I feel like an overeager teenager.”

“Hey, I didn’t last long either.” Shiro says, and Keith can feel him smile against his chest.

“Yeah, but that’s just because you’re old.” He quips, then yelps when Shiro bites him.

“Watch it,” Shiro growls, but then kisses the spot he just bit.

Keith snickers again and wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “Oh yeah, you’re so scary.”

Shiro hums noncommittally and nuzzles against Keith, who rolls his eyes fondly.

“I really did miss this, though.” He says a moment later. “I missed being close to you. I just… really missed you, Takashi.”

“I missed you too, Keith.” Shiro murmurs against his chest. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” Keith sighs, then, with a content hum, falls asleep in his lover’s arms.

~*~

The next morning, Keith so does not want to get up. He would much rather stay in bed with a very naked Shiro all day. But alas, he cannot.

But by the end of the day, boy, does he wish he had.

They arrive in the control room to see the others pouring over the actual data they got from Sendak, and find a base that apparently doesn’t exist, which means it’s probably really important and very well guarded.

Wow, look at that. Keith was right.

Allura comes with, and then she and Shiro sneak on to a giant Galra battle cruiser. Keith is not amused.

“Again, this is a plan I do not like.” He tells Shiro as Allura changes into the Galra soldier’s outfit (her being seven feet tall and purple is only mildly disconcerting).

“I know, Keith, but it’s the best plan we have. We need intel, and only Galra or Galra-tech can activate other Galra tech.”

This triggers an interesting memory of Keith closing the fighter bay doors on the Balmera but he waves it away in favor of scowling up at his boyfriend.

“What if they take you again?” He asks quietly. “I can’t lose you again, Shiro. It would kill me.”

“You won’t lose him Keith.” Allura says, walking up to them decked out in the soldier’s armor. “I promise I’ll get him back to you in one piece.”

Keith stares up into the princess’s determined eyes for a long moment, and then nods. “I’ll hold you to that.” He says, and then turns to pull Shiro into a hug.

“Be careful in there, superman.” He murmurs. “Watch each other’s backs.”

“We will.” Shiro promises him and presses a kiss to his forehead before he and Allura head out.

~*~

So Keith has discovered he doesn’t like not knowing things, and he doesn’t like waiting around. Put these two things together, and you get what he is doing now: sneaking around the super-secret Galra base trying to figure out what’s in the glowing yellow containers. If Shiro knew he was risking his ass, he’d go ballistic, but seeing as Shiro is busy sneaking around a Galra battle-cruiser with one of the last two Alteans alive, Keith figures he can let this one incident slide.

_Besides_ , he thinks, walking through one of the tunnels, _what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him_.

So he finds the room with the giant glowy containers, and then gets attacked by the scary freak with the mask. Who can apparently shoot purple lightning out of his(?) hands. Apparently in addition to the semi-magic robot lions, _actual_ magic was a thing too. How fucking wonderful. Keith’s day just keeps getting better and better.

Pidge arrives for an epic rescue and they head to go grab their other two missing members. Keith is still staring at his hand where the quintessence stuff healed the weird purple burn marks when Pidge announces the ship is preparing to jump to hyper speed, which means Shiro and Allura would be trapped on it.

Oh no.

~*~

Shiro points Allura towards the escape pod hangar and they sprint for it. The alarms are blaring and Shiro is fighting down flashbacks. _Not now, freak out later. Escape now._

They arrive at the hangar and Shiro hits the door controls, but the sentries manage to wedge it open at the last moment. Allura throws the gun aside and forcibly holds the doors closed in an impressive show of strength, but she can’t keep holding it. They need to go.

Shiro joins her at the door and uses the heat generated by his Galra hand to start welding the doors shut.

“It’s taking off! Get in the pod!” Allura shouts over the sirens.

“I’m not leaving you.” Shiro tells her firmly, still working on the door.

“You have too!” She grits. “I promised Keith I’d get you back to him, and I _refuse_ to break that promise!” She grabs the back of his armor and throws him as hard as she can. He lands with a thump on the floor of the escape pod. He sits up, prepared to sprint back to her, but the doors are opening behind her, the sentries are reaching for her, and the pod is moving towards the exit.

“No!” He pounds on the doors of the escape pod, but he knows already, there is nothing he can do. She looks up at him and smiles, and then he is out of the ship, and it has jumped away.

The Green Lion picks him up a moment later. As soon as he walks into the cockpit, Keith crosses to him and throws his arms around him. Shiro doesn’t move to reciprocate, and that’s when Keith seems to notice something is wrong.

Keith pulls back, frowning, then looks behind the Black Paladin. “Wait, where’s Allura?”

Shiro doesn’t respond.

“Shiro?” Lance asks quietly.

“She sacrificed herself to save me.” He says numbly.

“So she’s still on that ship!?” Pidge demands.

“The ship that’s headed to Zarkon’s central command?” Hunk adds.

“The place that’s _way too dangerous_ for us to attack?” Keith says quietly.

“It doesn’t matter how dangerous it is.” Shiro says, looking up at his boyfriend. “We can’t let Zarkon get Allura.”

“But you said going in would be a huge mistake.” Hunk reminds him. “You said to attack that place head-on would be the dumbest possible thing we could ever do.”

“I know, but now we don’t have a choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, more smut. Lovely.  
> And angst?? I wrote angst?? What?? I wrote it badly, but still!  
> Join me next time, where Shiro fucks up breifly but majorly, the paladins rescue Allura, Shiro and Keith get stranded, and Lance is a major asshole!
> 
> And now I finally know what it feels like  
> To risk everything and still survive  
> When you're standing on the battlefield  
> And all the pain is real  
> That's when you realize  
> That you must've done something right  
> Cause you've never felt so alive  
> \- Leader of the Broken Hearts, Papa Roach  
> (Not sure if this one fits, but it'll do)


	15. Chase You Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I turned 22 today, so I'm updating early to celebrate. Have fun with all the (attempted) angst!

Shiro walks into the control room and starts barking orders while the rest of them follow slowly. Keith is…thinking. He listens to Shiro’s tense voice, and the others chiming in, _attack the base right away_ , and Hunk, pointing out the flaw that everyone seems to be ignoring, just like he did in the Green Lion.

“Or maybe we shouldn’t be going on this mission at all.” He doesn’t realize the words are out until he’s said them. Everyone else is staring at him in shock. Well, might as well.

“Think about it. We’ll be delivering the universe’s only hope to the universe’s biggest enemy.”

A long pause. They’re still staring at him.

“Keith, that was cold, even for you.” Hunk says at length. “What if it was one of us? What if it was _me?_ You wouldn’t leave me, would you? Would you?”

Keith’s jaw tenses. “I’m not saying I _like_ the idea, I’m just thinking like a paladin.”

“No! You’re thinking of yourself because you’re too scared to do what’s right!” Lance accuses, and the urge to hit him returns. “You wouldn’t bat an eye at this plan if it had been Shiro instead of Allura!”

Keith sighs angrily. “No, but that’s because I _cannot think straight_ when it comes to Shiro. Hell yes I’d say go get him, but then we’d be down the Black Lion and _you all_ would be telling _me_ it was too risky. And then I’d do something stupid and go anyway and get my dumb ass killed and the Red Lion captured, because when it comes to Shiro, I don’t think like I should.” He sighs again. “But it wasn’t Shiro, and I am thinking clearly, and it’s fucking _risky_.”

“We would all come for you!” Lance shouts. “But you can’t be half-assed to care about us! To care about the princess!”

“Enough.” Shiro says firmly. “Keith, I know it’s risky, but we have to get Allura back.”

Keith finally looks up at Shiro. “I don’t get it. Literally three hours ago, right here, in this room, you said it would be fucking _suicide_ to go to Zarkon’s central command. And now, you’re ignoring the threat entirely? Shiro, even if _I_ had been the one captured, you should know that this is a really, really dumb idea. If Allura were here, she would be agreeing with me!”

“We need Allura to pilot the ship and to locate the lions!” Shiro fires back, stunning Keith. “If you were the one taken, the team could afford to lose you! It’s possible to find another Red Paladin, but we can’t find another Allura!”

Dead silence. Everyone is staring at _Shiro_ now.

Keith is the only one looking away. “Yes sir. Understood.” He says blankly, then turns and all but runs out of the room.

~*~

Shiro regrets the words before he finishes saying them. He watches in silent horror as Keith practically sprints out of the room, and his whole body feels numb.

“And I thought what Keith said was cold.” Hunk mumbles.

“What the _fuck_ Shiro!” Pidge explodes, causing everyone to flinch. “How the hell could you say something like that to him!? _You_ of all people know what his life’s been like! I don’t know everything but I’m pretty sure telling your boyfriend he’s expendable in your eyes when he already has major abandonment and self-worth issues is a _really fucking bad idea!_ ”

 “I didn’t… that’s not what I…” Shiro is still staring at the door where Keith vanished. “Fuck. Pidge, find us an opening, I need to-”

_“Go!”_

Shiro runs. Thankfully, he knows exactly where Keith will have ended up.

He hears the clang of metal on metal before he even gets to the training room. Keith has shed most of the armor pieces and is standing in the black flight suit, dodging _two_ of the training gladiators. One hits him in the face and then he runs them through with his bayard. They fizzle out and Keith wipes at his face harshly. His fingers come away bloody.

“Begin training level six!” He barks and Shiro pales.

“End simulation!” He says hurriedly, and the lights dim. “Keith-”

“I think you’ve said enough, Shirogane.” Keith growls, not turning to look at him. “Begin training level _eight!_ ”

“End simulation!” Shiro says in exasperation before the lights finish flickering back on. “When did you get so self-destructive?”

“Take a wild fucking guess.” Keith spits. Shiro winces. Yeah, he deserved that.

“Keith, I didn’t-”

“I heard you loud and clear, okay? I get it. I’m expendable. Allura’s not. You win. Let’s go on this god damn suicide mission and get her back. Maybe if you’re lucky I really will do something dumb and get myself killed. Then you won’t have to deal with me and my shit anymore. Bet you’re regretting caring about me now, huh?”

“Keith!” Shiro says, horrified. “I didn’t mean what I said! At least, not how it sounded. Hey, come on, look at me, please?” He puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder,

And the younger man flinches.

Shiro jerks his hand back, eyes widening in dismay. Keith hadn’t flinched at his touch since the very early stages of their acquaintance. God, Shiro fucked up _bad_.

“Keith,” He says quietly, voice shaking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it sounded.”

“Then how did you mean it to sound, Shiro?” Keith says, shoulders slumping.

“I didn’t mean to say it at all.” Shiro admits. “I was tense and feeling guilty. I still feel guilty. She got captured saving me. I lashed out, and I hurt you. I’m so, so sorry, Keith. I _never_ should have reacted that way towards _anyone,_ least of all you. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”

He doesn’t dare try to touch Keith again, but _god_ does he want to. Especially now that he can see the younger man shaking.

“What you said… you wouldn’t care if I got captured. You wouldn’t come for me.” Keith whispers. “But you’ll go for _her_.” His voice breaks on the last word. Shiro realizes what the problem is.

“Keith, no. No no no, it would _kill me_ if anything happened to you. It would destroy me, okay? The very thought of the Galra getting their hands on you keeps me up at night. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if they touched you.” Very slowly, he reaches out and touches Keith’s covered wrist. “I would come for you in a heartbeat. Even if I died trying.”

Shiro takes a steady breath. He has to let Keith know that what he’d said had been worded completely wrong. Nothing was worth Keith’s life. Not to him. He has to explain that better.

 “We’re going after Allura because we really do have no other choice, even though it is incredibly dangerous. But if it were _you_?” His grip tightens minutely on Keith’s wrist, still loose enough for the Red Paladin to shake him off if he wanted. “I wouldn’t care about anything except finding you and bringing you home. Even if Zarkon himself had a hold of you, I wouldn’t care. I’d do whatever it took to get to you. The Red Paladin may be replicable to Voltron, but _you_ are not replicable. Not to anyone here, and certainly not to me. I’ve never regretted anything more than letting you think you were, even for a moment. I told you before, Keith. I love you more than anything. More than life.”

Keith sighs and finally, _finally_ turns to face him. “You are an idiot.” He says quietly.

“I know.” Shiro murmurs. “I really wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t forgive me. Or…if you don’t think you can trust me anymore.” The thought hurts more than anything, but Keith is well within his right to revoke that honor.

“Oh Takashi.” Keith sighs again, and Shiro perks. “Of course I still trust you. It would take a hell of a lot more than this for me to stop trusting you.”

“Oh thank god.” Shiro whispers. “I was so scared I fucked this up permanently.”

“It’d be pretty damn hard for you to do that.” Keith tells him, then shifts so he’s lacing his fingers with Shiro’s hand that had been on his wrist. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it hurt. Still… kinda does, but that doesn’t mean I suddenly don’t love you anymore.”

Shiro yanks Keith into his arms and buries his face in the younger man’s neck, shoulders shaking. “Thank god.” He says again, voice ragged. “I’m so sorry, baby. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry, so, so sorry.”

“We’re okay, Takashi.” Keith says, patting his back. “I get the right to be mad at you for a while, and possibly guilt trip you about this for the foreseeable future, but you and me? We’re okay.”

“That is fair. That is _more_ than fair. God, I should be begging on my knees for your forgiveness.”

“Well, I mean, if you really want to, I wouldn’t say no.” Keith teases softly.

“You want me to?” Shiro says in all seriousness. “I will.”

Keith laughs lightly and swats at his shoulder. Shiro releases him instantly. “Maybe later. Don’t we have a princess to heroically rescue?”

“Yeah.” Shiro says, clearing his throat and picking his helmet up from where he dropped it when he barged in. “Pidge, any progress?”

“I don’t know,” the Green Paladin’s voice comes from over the radio. “Did you grovel at Keith’s feet and plead for forgiveness?”

“He did.” Keith confirms. “I’ve decided he’s off the hook for the moment. What’s the status?”

“Good.” Pidge says lowly, then her voice evens out. “I found a potential way in. We’re getting ready to move.”

“Great. We’ll be up in a minute.” Keith tells her, and the line clicks off. “Come on, superman. Time to do the big hero thing.” He passes Shiro and begins to pick up all his discarded armor pieces, pulling them back on and heading for the door.

“Wait, Keith?” Shiro says hesitantly.

Keith looks back over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow.

“Can I… am I allowed to kiss you right now?”

Keith’s eyes soften and he walks back over to Shiro, placing his hands on the older man’s shoulders and leaning up to press their lips together briefly.

“Idiot.” He says fondly, and then turns and exits the training deck, Shiro following close behind.

~*~

Keith is...better, than he was a little while ago. He’d known on some level that Shiro hadn’t meant the words to come across how they had, but it had still hit a little too close to home for his liking. Thankfully Shiro’s several minutes of near-tears apologizing had assuaged him of his worries.

He strolls back into the control room and right up to Pidge, ignoring the looks of the others and asks her how long they have until they reach Zarkon command.

“Maybe thirty minutes?” She says, frowning. “I think that’s what this measurement is.”

“Great. Thanks.”

She side-eyes him cautiously. “You okay?”

He smiles and crosses his arms. “It’s not the first time Shiro’s ever done anything stupid, and it won’t be the last. We’re fine.”

She nods, and twists further to give Shiro – who is still standing behind Keith – a scathing look before turning back to her monitor.

Shiro’s arms wrap around his waist from behind and his chin digs into Keith’s shoulder gently. “Keith-”

“Don’t. Come on, Takashi, you’ve already apologized. And I do forgive you, okay? So calm down.” Keith combs through Shiro’s white hair and the older man relaxes minutely.

“Okay.”

He can see Hunk and Lance in the corner of his vision. Hunk is smiling but Lance has a scowl on his face. “You know, I don’t get what the big deal is. Shiro _had_ a point.” He mutters under his breath. Keith can still hear him though. Apparently so can Hunk, as the Yellow Paladin immediately steps on his friend’s foot harshly, causing Lance to yelp. “What? I’m just saying!” he hisses.

“Dude, shut up! What is wrong with you!?”

Keith tunes them out after that, but he wonders the same thing most of the time. Why the hell does Lance hate him so much? Keith shakes his head slightly. No time for mopey shit, they have a rescue mission to somehow pull off.

~*~

About half the alotted time later, and they still can’t figure out how to get into the damn place without being seen instantly. Shiro is super agitated – for multiple reasons – and keeps pacing back and forth between all of them, asking for status updates, or giving Keith guilty eyes (“Takashi, really, I’m _okay._ ”) or giving Coran equally guilty eyes (Keith is staying far away from that one).

Finally they have a plan, but Keith still has a very bad feeling that it’s going to go horribly wrong.

…

Fuck, why does he _always_ have to be right!?

Zarkon was definitely expecting them because the instant Voltron is within sight, a barrier closes around the entire command center and they stat firing. Admittedly they are doing pretty well… until something somehow forces Voltron apart _what the fuck_.

“Why do I get the feeling these guys knew we were coming?” Keith growls, and they all charge the oncoming fighters.

Keith hears Shiro groan over the comm. and Keith suddenly realizes the Black Lion hasn’t moved since the separation.

“Shiro, you okay?”

“Something is overriding the controls. My lion is not responding-” he shouts suddenly and Keith is shooting forwards.

“Shiro’s in trouble, I’m going in!” He relays to the others as an afterthought. Then he watches in shock as the Black Lion _ejects Shiro into open space_. He lands, thankfully, against the hull of Zarkon’s ship and orders the rest of them to go get Allura while he gets back to the Black Lion.

Keith grits his teeth and dodges fighters. “You guys get the princess without me.”

“What!?” Lance shouts over the comm. “We gotta stick together! What are you doing!?”

“Whatever I can.” He says, and then rams into the Black Lion, pushing it out of the Galra tractor beam. He starts towards it only for some big dude to fly down ahead of him. Guy looks…pretty scary to be honest.

“Whoa, who is that?”

Coran starts flipping his shit over the comm. “It’s Zarkon! Keith, get out of there, now! Zarkon’s too powerful!”

Wait wait wait. Zarkon? The one that’s behind the whole universe-conquering empire? That Zarkon? Who has apparently set himself down right in front of Keith, who is still in his giant robot lion that can fire devastating lasers? Why should he be running, exactly?

“This is my chance to put an end to the Galra empire! I have to take it!” Fuck, Shiro is going to _kill_ him.

He shoots forwards and nails Zarkon with his laser…only for the fucker to be completely fine and…

Is that… is that the motherfucking _black bayard!?_ Son of a bitch he’s gonna end up killing the last two existing Alteans, Jesus _Christ_. They couldn’t have fucking _mentioned this!?_

So, Keith does end up doing something incredibly stupid, and nearly dies via Zarkon.

“You fight like a Galra soldier,” the man says contemplatively. “But not for long!”

Keith figures he’s actually pretty dead, but then lo and behold, the Black Lion comes out of nowhere, shooting at Zarkon.  Keith laughs as the Black Lion scoops his up in its mouth and races back to the ship. Then Shiro’s voice comes over the comm.

“I gotcha, baby. You okay?”

 “Yeah, peachy. Nice timing, superman.”

“I try.” Shiro says a little breathlessly.

Keith frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get back to the castle and get out of here.”

Turns out it’s not that simple. But of course, when is it ever?

They’re trapped by the barrier, then they aren’t, and then the wormhole is fucked, and then they’re all being torn out of the castle and sent god knows where.

~*~

They’re falling. He and Shiro. At least they ended up in the same place, but neither one of them can control their descent. Keith hits the ground hard, and everything goes black.

~*~

He wakes slowly, blinking rapidly to clear his vision.

“You okay, Red?” He asks and tries the controls. She doesn’t respond, except for a small grumble in the back of his head that seems to translate to “shut up and let me sleep”. He smiles and leans back against the seat, relieved he didn’t cause her any permanent damage. “Okay, we’ll fix you up. We had a tough battle.”

He climbs out the top hatch and looks at their very dry surroundings. It kind of reminds him of the desert back home, if maybe a little browner. “Where are we? Where have we landed?” He murmurs, then it strikes him. He wasn’t here alone. “Shiro. Shiro!”

~*~

Shiro comes awake slowly. He groans and clutches at the glowing wound in his side and manages to climb out of the cockpit and onto the Black Lion’s head. He turns on the comm, but only gets static. He _knows_ he saw Keith falling with him. He knows the younger man is here somewhere.

“Keith, are you there?” He asks weakly. “Keith?” More static. Shiro tries not to panic. “I need to get to higher ground.” He murmurs. He’s in some sort of canyon.

He desperately ignores the uneasy feeling in his gut; the feeling that he’s not alone. He can’t focus on that right now, though.

He climbs up a hill, trying not to think about how much pain he’s in, and eventually hears Keith’s frantic voice over the comm. “Keith, I’m here.” He says, relieved. Then a spike of intense pain hits him and he collapses.

“Shiro? It’s Keith!”

“Keith, Keith I’m here.” He pants, sliding down to the ground. “I’m okay.” Relatively speaking.

“Shiro, you made it.” Keith sighs.

“It takes more than a glowing alien wound, a fall from the upper atmosphere, and crashing into a hard-panned surface at what I’m guessing is about twenty-five meters per second squared to get rid of me. How are you?”

Keith snorts over the comm. “Nerd. I’m on my way to you. My lion’s busted, and- wait, what wound?”

Whoops. “It’s nothing.” He groans in pain then, completely proving his statement to be false.

“Hang on, I’m coming.”

Shiro hears growling and looks down to see three giant lizard-cats sniffing around the Black Lion. He knew he had felt eyes on him.

“On second thought, you’d better hurry.”

~*~

“Shiro, what happened?” Keith is using his jetpack to travel more distance, but something tells him he needs to go faster.

“There are several creatures…”

Keith’s boot hits the ground and a geyser shoots up behind him. Wow, close call. He feels the ground start to rumble then. Fuck. And so he has to dodge geysers for a while. All while listening to Shiro running away from ominous growling noises on the other end of the comm. One geyser finally hits him and sends him over the edge of a cliff.

“Keith are you okay? What happened?” Shiro barks.

Keith looks down into the yawning abyss he could have fallen into, dangling from his sword, rammed into the cliff face. Thank fuck his bayard isn’t a gun. “Minor delay, but I’m on my way. How are you?” He jetpacks back up to solid ground and actually looks at the chasm in front of him. Dammit.

“I’m alright, but I’m trapped in a cave and some nasty looking creatures have me cornered.”

Fuck. “Stay put. I’m on my way. I just have to…figure this out.”

He sighs and paces back from the edge. “Patience yields focus.” He mutters under his breath.

“That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” Shiro murmurs.

Keith snorts and digs his heel into the ground, watching the resulting geyser. “Out of all the crazy wisdom guru bullshit you ever told me, that one always made the most sense. And I mean, you have given me some good advice. If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.”

Shiro huffs a laugh. “Yeah, you wouldn’t have crashed a flying lion on an alien planet and be stuck with little hope of rescue. So, you’re welcome.”

Keith frowns. “Hey, that’s not what I meant and you know it. I would probably be dead if you hadn’t decided to take an interest in me. I would have shoved everyone away at every turn if you hadn’t done what you did for me. If you didn’t have the stubbornness to be my friend. If you didn’t love me, despite all my baggage. I would not be standing here today if it weren’t for you, Takashi.”

“You almost died because I left you.” Shiro murmurs.

“That wasn’t your fault. That was the Garrison, and then the Galra.” Keith says firmly.

“I’ve hurt you.” He all but whispers.

Keith sighs. “Yeah, but you didn’t mean to. You meant to say one thing, and it came out wrong, so I interpreted it as something else, which you explained to me was not the case. It hurt me, yes, but we did that communication thing that people in a relationship are supposed to do, and now I’m not hurt anymore.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, Keith.” Shiro whispers raggedly. “That was the one thing I desperately wanted to avoid. I _never_ wanted to fight with you.”

Keith huffs and glances back across the chasm, towards where Shiro must be.

“I’ve told you a million times, Takashi, I’m not made of glass. Yeah, I’ve been damaged by shitty circumstances, but so have you. And this? This was not something that damaged us more. It hurt, but we fixed it. And I know you never wanted us to fight, but couples have their bad moments. It can’t all be sunshine and rainbows. But at the end of the day, _you’re_ the one I can count on, and vice-versa. At the end of it all, I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Keith smiles. “See? We’ll be just fine. This too shall pass.”

Shiro laughs, and then coughs harshly.

Keith frowns and activates his bayard. “Stay with me, superman.” He warns, then cuts a wedge out of the cliff and is shot forwards. After a few seconds of intense freefalling, Keith smacks into the other side of the chasm wall.

“Keith? Keith!”

“Hang on,” he groans and pulls himself up. “I’m on my way.”

“Good, because these guys just started digging.”

 _Fuck_.

A moment later, he looks up and laughs weakly. “Shiro, I have a visual on the Black Lion.”

He suddenly hears sounds of fighting, and Shiro crying out.

“Shiro, what happened?”

No response. No, no, no, no, no.

He sprints towards the lion and jumps down into the canyon only to see Shiro – alive, thank every god in existence – being chased by four purple cat-lizard-boar-things. No way he could get down there in time, let alone kill them all himself. So crazy mistake number two of the day, he runs over to the Black Lion and puts a hand on her nose.

“I know I’m not Shiro, but he’s in trouble. We need to help him.” No response. “Please.” He begs, fingers tensing against the metal surface. “Please let me help him.”

The lion’s eyes flash and her mouth opens. “Thank you.” He whispers and sprints inside. It’s weird piloting a lion other than Red, but he manages pretty well, he thinks. He smashes away at the creatures and moves the lion so she’s hovering protectively over her paladin, and the creatures sprint away in terror.

He lowers the Black Lion’s head and sprints out, throwing himself down next to Shiro and looking him over for any serious injuries. “Are you okay? I mean aside from that frankly terrifying purple wound? Shiro?”

“I’m fine.” Shiro tells him, cupping Keith’s face in his right hand, left too busy holding said glowing wound. “How did you do that?”

“What, pilot Black?” he asks, tilting his head to look up at her, before looking back at Shiro and shrugging. “I told her I needed to save you.”

Shiro shakes his head, smiling softly. “You never cease to amaze me.”

Keith shrugs again, and kisses Shiro.

~*~

Red arrives a few moments later and both lions and their paladins settle on the surface to wait for the castle to show. Keith gets a fire going and Shiro rests, still groaning at the pain in his side.

“Okay, let me see it.” Keith demands softly, tugging Shiro’s hand away from the area. “Fucking hell, Shiro, how did this happen?”

Shiro huffs. “Witch Haggar.” He says lowly.

Keith blinks at him, very confused. “Huh?”

“She’s Zarkon’s…advisor, I guess. She’s the leader of the Druids, a powerful group that can use magic.”

“Yeah, I think I met one. The scary mask-wearing fuckers with the purple lightning.” Keith grimaces.

“That’s them. Haggar is more powerful than any of them. And she likes to…experiment. Especially on the unwilling. They gave me to her to play with. I think… she might be the reason I lost my arm. And she built me a new one.”

“She built your arm?” Keith asks, looking down at the covered metal appendage.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure she wanted to do more, but Zarkon didn’t want her screwing up their beloved champion, or something.” He says the words with a hatred Keith didn’t know Shiro possessed.

“Why do you hate her so much? And don’t just say your arm, this is something else.”

Shiro sighs and leans his head back on the rock behind him. “She has this ability to poke around in people’s heads. She…found out about you pretty quickly.” He says darkly. “She said if I missed you so much, they could always go get you for me. Said torturing you would be good incentive for me to obey them. I told her I’d tear her apart if she even _looked_ at you. She laughed, and used every memory of you I had to create elaborate hallucinations of all the various ways she could break you down. They were…very realistic.”

“Okay, she’s at the top of my shit list now.” Keith mutters and leans against Shiro’s uninured side.

“I guess the only good thing that came out of it was since she was using my memories to fuel the dreams, I never had the chance to forget you like I did everything else.” Shiro says dryly.

“Shiro-”

“I’m okay, baby. I just really wish I’d been able to kill her back there.”

Keith growls under his breath, because now he’s mad, and he can’t do anything about it, and he can’t fight anything, so he does the next best thing, and kisses Shiro.

(They don’t talk for a good ten minutes after that, their tongues are…otherwise occupied)

~*~

A while later, after Keith gets up and does a perimeter check and pokes the fire, he comes and sits down next to Shiro again.

“How’s your wound?”

“My wound’s great. It’s getting bigger all the time.” Shiro says weakly.

Keith shoots his boyfriend a very unamused look.

“Just trying to lighten the mood.”

Keith sighs and leans against him, careful not to jostle the aforementioned wound. “Hang in there. When Allura and Coran find us, they’ll fix you right up.”

“Keith,” Shiro says, voice raspy, but suddenly very serious. “If I don’t make it out of here, I want you to lead Voltron.”

Keith stares at him in shock for a moment before frowning. “Stop talking like that. You’re gonna make it.” Or so help him, he’d wipe out the entire Galra empire himself to find this “Witch Haggar”.

Five minutes later, Pidge shows up through a wormhole, and Keith rushes Shiro onto the ship.

“Oh my!” Allura gasps, but Keith doesn’t even register her over trying to strip Shiro out of his damaged armor.

“He needs a healing pod, _now_.” He growls. “I told you I wasn’t going to let anyone take you away from me again, and you had best believe I intend to keep that promise.” He says to Shiro.

“Sir yes sir.” Shiro murmurs.

Coran helps him change Shiro into one of the white onesie-things and he all but shoves the older man into a pod. “Now, get better.”

Shiro smiles at him as the pod closes. “Anything for you.” He says, and his eyes close.

~*~

Keith spends the rest of the day in the training room, and most of the night as well. He doesn’t want to sleep in their room without Shiro, so he’s awake when they find Lance and Hunk.

“Mermaids.” He deadpans.

“Yeah! And a sea serpent that I killed with a sonic boom!” Lance says giddily. “There were so many hot girls! It was awesome!”

Keith sighs.

“Wait, where’s Shiro?” Hunk asks, concerned.

“He’s in a healing pod. He got hurt during the battle on Zarkon’s ship. He’ll be fine by tomorrow.” Or at least he’d fucking better be.

Lance and Hunk start asking questions, which luckily Pidge answers, because he really doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now. He’s too worried about Shiro. He sneaks away and heads back to the training deck.

Where Lance finds him about ten minutes later. Really? _Really?_

“Dude what the fuck, you bailed on team bonding time.”

“Not the whole team if Shiro’s out of commission.” Keith grunts, dispatching another robot.

“So? Why don’t you want to get to know any of us? You hardly interact with anyone besides Shiro, and Pidge on very rare occasion. What, do you think you’re too good for us or something?”

“Maybe I just want to be left alone.” Keith grits out.

“You’re part of this team, whether you like it or not, Keith! You can’t just mope off by yourself! See, this is just like back at the Garrison! You don’t care what anybody has to say, or about anyone in general, you selfish, insensitive bastard!”

Keith fucking loses it. He turns and slams Lance against the wall, baring his teeth in a snarl and is only mildly satisfied at the other pilot’s squeak of surprise.

“ _I’m_ the insensitive one!? _I’m_ the selfish one!? Take a look in the damn mirror, McClain!” he shouts. He doesn’t care who hears. He’s pissed.

“What are you talking about you fucking psycho!?” Lance yelps.

“Back in the goddamn Garrison, you asshole! You never left me alone! You were always going on about rivals and I just wanted some goddamn peace and quiet! I never wanted to be your rival, Lance, that was all you! And it’s been you this whole time! I never wanted to fight with you!”

“Like hell!” Lance spits. “You’ve been matching me blow for blow this whole damn time!”

“Only because _you_ attack _me_ first! I defend myself! That’s all I’ve ever done! Any “rivalry” we’ve ever had, you were always the one to start it! I never wanted to fight with anyone, I never wanted to be _anything_ to anyone!”

“Except for Shiro.” Lance says snidely. “You’ll bend over backwards for him. Or just bend over.”

Keith hits the Blue Paladin, and he goes sprawling.

“You shut your damn mouth. You have _no idea_ what you’re talking about. Shiro is _everything_ to me, so don’t you dare say anything about him!”

“So you’ll give Shiro the time of day, but not me? I get that you were angsty those last few months, Keith, but you could have at least acknowledged my existence! You’re the real asshole!” Lance jumps up and balls his hands into fists. It would be laughable that Lance thinks he can take Keith, but he’s too angry to be amused.

“I didn’t “acknowledge your existence” because I was fucking _grieving, you idiot!”_ He shouts. He’s shaking, he’s so mad. Lance comes up short but Keith can’t stop now. “The Kerberos mission had been declared lost! The love of my life was dead! I just wanted time to mourn him, but no. You just _had_ to pick me to start up a damn fight with. I was _heartbroken_ , and all you wanted to do was _fight!_ You kept attacking me, day after day, but I just wanted to be left the hell _alone!_ ” he screams, and then slumps, shoulders shaking. “I…I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to be able to grieve in peace, but you wouldn’t even give me that.” He says weakly.

His vision blurs and he wipes at his eyes angrily, before storming past an immobile Lance and through the others, who had apparently all come to see what the fuss had been about, but he didn’t stop to look at them. He sprints to his and Shiro’s room and locks the door behind him before sinking to the floor and curling up, head in his hands.

He’s reminded of the time he did this, right after the Kerberos mission was pronounced lost. It feels similar, with Lance’s attack and Shiro’s absence. He takes a shuddering breath and does what he hadn’t been able to do back then: he cries.

~*~

Lance stands stock still for several long minutes after Keith runs out of the room, then very slowly turns. The other four are all standing in the doorway, looking down the hall where Keith must have disappeared.

“I,” he begins very slowly, looking at Hunk, “am an idiot.” He knew back then that Keith and Shiro had been close – even if he hadn’t known about the dating – but he hadn’t even thought about his timing. Hadn’t considered that’s why Keith was always angry at him. That was… an error, on his part.

“I knew that already, buddy.” Hunk says. “But… yeah, that was… bad.”

“And we don’t even have Shiro to go calm him down.” Pidge points out. “So, extremely bad timing on your part.”

“Fuck.” Lance runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “I should go, I don’t know. Apologize? I guess?”

“Don’t bother. He’ll have locked the door.” Pidge tells him. “And no, I’m not going to hack it for you.”

“Let’s just…give him some space.” Allura suggests. “When Shiro wakes up, he’ll feel better.”

Lance closes his eyes and shakes his head. Maybe Keith was right. Maybe he _is_ the bastard here after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, me, you made Keith cry.  
> UGH.  
> Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed and I'll see you Sunday for more angst, and episodes 3-5! Have a lovely week!
> 
> Can you see me right now  
> I'm comin' closer  
> Think I figured you out  
> Not like the others  
> You don't blend with the crowd  
> I've blown your cover  
> Now I'm takin' you down  
> Takin' you down  
> \- Chase You Down, RUNAGROUND


	16. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, friends. Have some canon shit and some not-so-canon shit. And Keith angst, because I apparently cannot let this boy rest.

Shiro jerks awake with a start, panting raggedly. So _that’s_ how he escaped. One of the Galra doctors helped him escape. One of the _Galra_. Fuck, he needed to talk to Pidge, he needed to get those coordinates. He scrambles out of the pod and starts to call for Pidge when he comes up short, realizing that while most of the castle’s inhabitants are standing in front of him, there is one glaring absence, and the others are all looking at him guiltily, _especially_ Lance.

“Where’s Keith?” He demands.

“He’s locked himself in your room.” Pidge tells him, pushing up her glasses. “We need you to go get him. He won’t respond to any of us.”

Shiro’s eyes narrow and he looks at each of them in turn, pausing on Lance as the Blue Paladin flinches under his gaze. “What happened?”

“Why don’t I show you.” Pidge says dryly and turns her laptop around to face Shiro and begins to play a video. It looks like security footage from the training deck. Shiro can see Keith fighting one of the gladiators, and then Lance comes in. Shiro watches the ensuing argument in stony silence.

When it ends he looks up just in time to see Lance sprinting from the room. Good. Shiro isn’t quite sure how to deal with the other pilot right now.

“You said he’s in our room?” Shiro asks plainly.

“Yes. Please, Shiro. Go make sure he’s okay.”

Shiro turns and stalks out of the room without another word.

He walks quickly through the halls and arrives at the door to his and Keith’s room in record time. He knocks shortly but receives no answer. He knocks again.

“Fuck off.” Comes a muffled response. His voice sounds thick. Keith’s been crying.

“It’s me.”

The door slides open a moment later and Shiro steps inside. He is immediately tacked by his boyfriend, who buries his face in Shiro’s chest. “Hi.” He says, voice muffled. “Glad you’re okay.”

“But you’re not.” Shiro says softly, arms wrapping around him gently.

“Not particularly, no.” Keith admits readily. “I guess the others told you?”

“Pidge played me the security feed.”

“Goddammit, Pidge.”

They stand in silence for a few minutes. “Do you want me to talk to him?” Shiro asks quietly.

“Oh god no.” Keith says emphatically. “I already embarrassed myself enough, thanks.”

“Keith-“

“Just, don’t worry about it, Takashi.” Keith sighs and finally looks up at Shiro.

“You know that’s not gonna help.” Shiro tells him, wiping at a tear track on the younger man’s face gently.

“I know, but please.”

“This thing with you and Lance can’t go on. You know that.”

“I know, but I just…I can’t right now, okay? Later. Soon, even, just…not right now.”

Shiro sighs and kisses the top of his head. “Okay.” Again, silence falls, before Shiro speaks again. “By the way, I remembered how I escaped. A Galra doctor broke me out.”

“What!?”

~*~

Keith is pacing as Pidge sorts through the info in Shiro’s arm, very determinately avoiding Lance’s gaze. The Blue Paladin had opened his mouth as soon as he’d seen Keith, but Keith had held his hand out.

“It’s done. Let’s move on.” Was all he’d said, but Lance was still watching him warily.

They go to the coordinates in Shiro’s arm (still weird) and get attacked by a masked man (who was a really, really good fighter) and Keith does a double-take at the hilt of the guy’s blade. Oh no. That… that’s-

Then it is revealed that hey, this is the Galra dude who helped Shiro escape. The symbol on the guy’s blade is an even worse omen now. Fuck.

Then the guy tells them to steer right into the explode-y crystals, and Shiro’s all for it.

“You know I trust you, Shiro, but this doesn’t feel right.” Keith says quietly.

“And you know I hate to agree with Keith, but that’s a big fat ditto for me.” Lance adds.

But of course they go, and of course Shiro is right – as he usually is – and then they’re in the weird folded space base.

“What’s that weapon you carry?” Keith asks during a lull in conversation, while Ulaz updates the rest of his people.

The Galra glances at him, then pulls out the blade. “It’s a ceremonial blade that each member of our order carries.”

Huh. That… that doesn’t help him. At all. It makes things sort of worse, really.

“It’s nice.” He says, and then alarms start blaring, and there is another robot beast thing (ro-beast, Hunk calls it) and then they are in a very tough battle, getting thrown around near exploding crystals. They get pummeled by a very powerful laser, almost get eaten and watch the castle almost get eaten, then Ulaz is sacrificing himself so they can escape, which is kinda…depressing. The dude seemed pretty cool.

He finds Shiro in one of the observation decks later, staring out at the crystal clusters.

“Sorry we doubted Ulaz, Shiro. He saved all our lives.”

“I still have so many questions.” Shiro says softly.

Keith is quiet before he asks his next question. “Do you think Zarkon could really be tracking us?”

“We have no way to know for sure.” Allura says behind them and Keith jumps. “Only Ulaz knew our whereabouts.”

“You don’t really think Ulaz gave us up?” Shiro asks, turning to face her. “After he sacrificed himself?”

“Yeah. Maybe Zarkon found out about this place on his own.” Keith says, bristling. He had doubted the guy too, but not now. Not after he made the ultimate sacrifice. “He’s probably been searching for the Blade of Marmora.”

Allura just stares at them coolly. “It’s clear the loss of Ulaz has caused you great concern, but regardless of how Zarkon located us, we cannot stay here any longer.It isn’t safe.”

“We should meet up with the rest of Ulaz’s group!” Keith suggests, hopefully not too eagerly. “Finish what we started.”

“No.” Shiro says immediately. “We’re not going to the headquarters until we find out how Zarkon found us. We can’t risk losing the only allies we have in this war.”

Keith settles a hand on Shiro’s shoulder and the older man relaxes his tense position minutely. “Okay, Shiro. We’ll wait.”

Shiro covers his hand and squeezes it briefly. “Okay. Allura, I need a word with you, please.”

“I’ll go on to bed then.” Keith says.

“I didn’t mean you had to leave.” Shiro says gently.

“I know, Takashi, but I’m tired. I’ll see you in a few.”

He wanders back to their room, and takes his dad’s knife out from its holster, staring down at it in silence, then he unwraps the fabric around its base and stares at the strange symbol on it. The same symbol that had been on Ulaz’s blade.

Keith closes his eyes. “I have a very, very bad feeling.” He mumbles quietly into the emptiness of the room.

~*~

Despite his uneasy feeling, the next few days are startlingly incident free. They’re trying their damnedest to locate whatever tracker the Galra have on them, and until them they’re staying well away from the Blades of Marmora. Keith isn’t sure if he’s relieved or frustrated by this.

He groans as he throws himself down into the bed, after a long day of mercilessly beating training bots (and Lance) into submission.

“You didn’t have to flip him.” Shiro sighs, sitting down on the side of the bed so he can tug off his boots.

“No, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.” Keith sighs, flipping over onto his back to grin up at his boyfriend.

Shiro gives him his “so-done-with-your-shit-Keith” look. “You could have seriously hurt him.”

Keith snorts. “He’s fine. The only thing that got injured was his pride, and he could stand to have that happen to him a little more often. Besides, _he_ wanted to spar with _me._ And I refused, and then he tackled me, so really, it’s his own damn fault.” He strips off his shirt and tosses it at the back of Shiro’s head. The older man turns to glare at him, only to gawk instead when Keith stretches. Keith smirks at his boyfriend’s stunned expression. He finishes undressing slowly, still stretched out on the bed, watching Shiro’s eyes get darker by the second.  Much better.

“Now, do you really want to keep talking about Lance, or would you rather come over here and fuck me into the mattress?”

Shiro is on him before he finishes the question, and Keith laughs giddily. Fuck, he loves Shiro so goddamn much. He knows him so well.

~*~

Keith wakes to a muffled shout, but once again, it is not his own. He rolls over to see Shiro starting to thrash, clearly in the midst of another nightmare. Keith has come to learn that most off Shiro’s nightmares are quiet. Usually Keith doesn’t wake up because of them, but he can always tell when Shiro’s had a bad one the next morning. In those cases, Keith just does his best to stick close to the Black Paladin throughout the day, as those times are when he’s most prone to flashbacks.

But when Keith does catch them, he does what he did that first time, what Shiro still has to do for him now and then.

“Shiro, hey, come on, you’re alright. You’re dreaming, Takashi, wake up. You’re safe in the castle. No one will hurt you here.” Keith murmurs, placing his hands gently on Shiro’s shoulders.

Shiro’s jaw tenses and he grips the sheets tightly. Keith hears them rip in his metal hand. This is not new. They go through a lot of sheets. Keith ignores it.

“Come on, Takashi. It’s all okay. Wake up for me, please.” He squeezes Shiro’s shoulders, and the older man’s eyes fly open and he gasps. But instead of twisting away from Keith as he normally does, Shiro grabs Keith’s wrists and flips them.

Keith grunts as his back hits the bed, and then Shiro is over him, straddling his waist… and his metal hand wraps around Keith’s throat.

Keith blinks in surprise as the cool metal presses against his flesh in a firm grip. He looks up at Shiro, who is still very much out of it, and still very much afraid.

“Shiro, it’s okay.” He whispers, trying to clear his throat as Shiro grips a little tighter. Not tight enough to choke, but it’s certainly not comfortable.

“Hey,” Keith gently wraps his fingers around Shiro’s wrist, not attempting to tug, just holding steadily. His other hand remains relaxed by his head. “Takashi, it’s just me. You’re safe. It’s okay.”

Shiro’s breathing hitches, and he blinks rapidly, eyes clearing. “Keith?” he chokes, and then he reels back, falling off the bed.

Keith turns onto his stomach and sees Shiro curled up on the floor, shaking. “Takashi?”

“Oh my god, oh my god, Keith, I’m so sorry.” Shiro gasps. “I’m so sorry. Oh my god. I… I was… _Keith_.”

Keith frowns and slides off the bed, padding over to Shiro and crouching down in front of him. “Hey, it’s cool. No harm done.”

“My _hand_ was _on your throat._ ” Shiro hisses. “Keith, _god_ , I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.” Keith says firmly. “You were scared, and you felt threatened, so you reacted. But you did not hurt me. I was more startled than anything.”

Shiro is shaking harder now. “I attacked you.” He says brokenly. “I hurt you, I’m just like the people who-”

Keith slaps a hand over Shiro’s mouth. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you _ever_.” Keith growls. “You are _nothing_ like them.”

“I had my hand on your throat.” Shiro hisses again, batting Keith’s hand away.

“You did, and guess what? I didn’t even fucking flinch.” Keith snaps.

Shiro pauses.

“Yeah, that’s right. You had your hand on my throat, _squeezing_ , and I still knew I was safe. Because it was you, and I _know_ you would never ever hurt me. The men in that house, they threw me around, slammed me against walls, choked me out, but you did not trigger any of those memories, because _I know you_. You would never have hurt me.”

“You don’t know that Keith.” Shiro says weakly. “One of these days, I might not snap to it in time. Or I might not be able to control… _this_.” He waves his Galra hand absently. “I could hurt you so easily.”

Keith gives Shiro a long look, and then carefully takes his metal hand and presses it back against his throat. Shiro’s breath hitches.

“You, will, not, hurt, me.” Keith says very slowly. “I trust you.”

“I don’t trust myself.” Shiro admits, stroking Keith’s collarbone with his thumb. “Not around you. Not anymore.”

Keith quirks an eyebrow. “Then I guess I’ll have to do it for both of us.” Then he leans forwards, metal fingers still pressed against his throat, and kisses Shiro.

“Keith,” Shiro breathes when Keith pulls back.

“I know you.” Keith murmurs. “I know you’d rather die then hurt anyone unless you had to. I know you think you’re a monster for doing what you did to survive in the arena. I also know that it would have killed me if you’d never come home. So I’m glad you did what you had to. I’m glad you came back. I don’t care what you’ve done. And I don’t care about _this_ ,” he wraps his fingers around Shiro’s wrist. “All I care about is that you are here, and I love you, and you are not ever going to have to do anything you don’t want to ever again. And you don’t want to hurt me. So you won’t.”

Shiro huffs. “You make it sound so easy.”

Keith shrugs. “I don’t see why it can’t be. I get you’re not going to get over what happened anytime soon, I know that for a fact. But, I hope you’ll understand that you are not a danger. To me or anyone else.”

He kisses Shiro again, just because he can. “Now, come back to bed and let me hold _you_ for once.”

Shiro smiles hesitantly. “Okay.”

They crawl back in bed, and Keith directs Shiro’s head down onto his chest, over his heart. Shiro sighs quietly, and within moments, his breathing has settled back into sleep. Keith, though, stays awake a while longer, running his fingers over the scars on Shiro’s back, over the joints in his Galra arm, and through the white shock of his hair. Shiro had told him that first night that he’d come back different, but apparently, he thinks he came back a broken man. Keith knows better though: he came back stronger than ever, because he knows it takes true strength to live with the memories that haunt you at night.

~*~

The next morning, he tells Shiro they’re taking a day off, and they spend all day lying in bed. No one begrudges their leader some much needed time off. Keith spends the day mapping every single one of Shiro’s scars with his fingers and mouth, paying particular attention to the thick band of scarring where flesh connects to metal. Afterwards, Shiro is still shaky (though Keith isn’t sure if that’s from still being afraid, or the three separate orgasms Keith wrung out of him), but he seems a little better.

~*~

There is a minor incident a few days later when they are repairing the castle, and Hunk gets hit in the face with weird asteroid goo. And then Lance beams Shiro in the back of the head while trying to hit Keith, and then Keith hits Lance, and it all goes downhill from there.

Shiro tries to protest until Keith smacks him in the face with a well-aimed shot and Shiro goes nuts. Keith is pleased to see his boyfriend is relaxing for once. Shiro too often takes the weight of the world on his shoulders, and after the incident the night before last, the older man could really use a few minutes to chill. But then, Pidge says something about a message and they all head inside.

Later, while Pidge is examining the “squishy asteroid”, Coran comes in to his and Shiro’s room looking for one of the mice, and Keith starts asking him about the Galra, if…maybe they ever went to Earth, if one piloted the Blue Lion, but then Lance gets twitchy and Keith is forced to drop it.

In any event, they find the Olkari, who are pretty cool people. Keith finds he’s fascinated by their tree tech, that (no surprise) only Pidge can operate. Then Reiner asks them to fetch their captured king, which, f course they do, because they did come to help after all. But then the “rescue mission goes a little sideways, and Keith goes a little bit ballistic with their traitor king (“Whoa, K-Keith!” “That came out of nowhere!”). Keith isn’t sorry. The dude is a cowardly, disloyal _asshole_. After that, there is a lot of flying around and giant death cubes and Pidge gets a vine gun, and then they go home.

And then Zarkon’s ship shows up right in front of them. He, Lance and Shiro use the defense drones to fight off the fighters (and wow, the small guilt-truce Lance seemed to be abiding by seems to have gone up in smoke), and Allura jumps them as far as she can.

Once they’re in the clear, they all beg Shiro for some rest while Coran figures out what’s wrong with the wormholer (apparently it’s called a teludav?) and Allura sleeps, becuae god knows, they’re _all_ exhausted after fighting the Cube of Death.

He chats with Allura as he makes his way down to his room, and she mentions various places to relax on the ship. Keith decides he’s not tired enough to sleep (especially since Shiro had declined Keith’s preferred method of relaxation and decided to stay on the bridge) so he changes and heads for the elevator.

Keith catches the door just as it’s closing and groans internally when he sees Lance.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing?” The Blue Paladin asks tiredly.

“Allura said there’s a pool. I’m gonna go check it out.” He grunts and joins the other in the elevator. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Lance sighs. “Same thing.”

Keith glances over at him as the elevator begins moving. “Look, you stay on one side of the pool, and I’ll stay on the other, and we’ll be far, far away from each other. Very, far, away.”

“Good plan.” Lance says, then glances over at Keith, and does a double take. “Whoa!”

“What?” Keith snaps. If he asks about his scars…

“Dude is that a tattoo?”

Oh.

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Why the hell did you get a wonky looking square tattooed over your heart? Man, how emo are you?”

Keith sighs. “It’s kanji.”

Lance blinks at him.

“Kanji is the Japanese writing system. This character,” he taps his chest, “means white in Japanese.”

Lance narrows his eyes. “You… got the word “white” tattooed on your chest in Japanese? Talk about extra.”

Keith sighs. “Lance, Shiro is Japanese.”

“Yeah, and?”

“The Japanese word for white, is _shiro_.”

“…oh.” Lance says very quietly.

“I got it after I left the Garrison, when he was still… missing.” Keith mutters, looking away.

“Oh.” Lance looks very contrite. “That’s…that’s really sweet, actually.”

“Yeah, well.” Keith fidgets for a moment before fingering the jade bead around his neck, as is his custom when he’s uncomfortable.

They’re quiet for a moment before Lance’s face scrunches up. “Wait a minute, Shiro’s nickname means _white_? How ironic is that! Look at his hair!”

Keith sighs.

And then the lights go out in the elevator and it stops. They have to ascend in the elevator shaft, Emperor’s New Groove style and then they’re sliding down an air duct and Lance is screaming and then they fall out and the _pool is on the ceiling fucking Altean architecture bullshit._

Then after that _fun_ adventure, they’re being fired on again and Keith is so goddamn tired, fuck. They go out, form Voltron, then go back inside, and have to hold Hunk’s weird space cookies, and get nearly fried. Keith has no idea really what’s going on because he feels like he hasn’t slept in _days_ , but he figures if he listens to Shiro, it’ll be fine eventually. Which it is. But then, then they start talking about how they’re being tracked, and Keith’s stomach flips.

Once they’ve established they’re finally safe, Keith drags Shiro back to their room and orders him to _sleep dammit_. But Keith lies awake long after Shiro slips into sleep. Allura is so sure she’s the one being tracked, but…what if she isn’t? What if the Galra _think_ they’re tracking someone from the Blade of Marmora?

What if they’re tracking him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun times ahead, my dudes. Next chapter is gonna have Lance being an even bigger asshole and Keith breaking down in front of everyone! And Shiro is pissed! Yay! And also that stuff with Keith and Allura going AWOL and the Space Mall bit.   
> As a side note: we have five days until s6 drops and I am not prepared at all. I'm very scared for my boys. Hnnnng.   
> Have a good week, ya'll.
> 
> In the heat of the moment, when fear has you frozen  
> You're crashin' and burnin', when life’s at its coldest  
> Don’t fall too far from who you are  
> Try to tear us apart but know that we’ll wear our scars  
> \- Scars, I Prevail


	17. King and Lionheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Enjoy the angst and Keith having a bad time!

It would seem that they’re about to find out exactly who is being tracked. Pidge creates a Galra finder and they’re going to head to the nearest cluster the next day.

After Shiro sends everyone to go sleep, he approaches Keith. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You just seem a bit anxious.”

“I’m fine, just tired.” He leans into Shiro, who immediately wraps his arms around him. “Like you said, we should probably go get some sleep. Come on, Takashi.”

And while Shiro sleeps, Keith sneaks down to the pod bay…

Where he runs into Allura.

And they both agree: they have to make sure they’re not endangering everyone else. So they leave.

~*~

Shiro wakes and Keith isn’t in bed. He frowns and feels the sheets. They’re cold. He throws on his clothes and goes to the control room, the other paladins (still minus Keith) join him. Allura is absent as well.

“Where are Keith and Allura?” he asks.

“It seems one of the pods launched in the middle of the night.” Coran says, concerned.

“Wait a minute. Keith and Allura, in the middle of the night? You don’t think they’re…sitting in a tree?” Lance side-eyes Shiro.

Shiro gives him an exasperated look. “Contact the pod.” He sighs.

“Princess! Keith! Where are you?” Coran says after opening a line.

“Exactly where we should be. Far away from the castle.” Allura says.

Shiro’s eyes widen. “Wh-what? Why?”

“We must know if we are the ones Zarkon is tracking.”

“They’re isolating the variable.” Pidge says. “Well, isolating two variables.”

“Pidge is right. If Zarkon finds you despite our absence, we’ll know with total certainty that we are not the ones he is tracking.”

“Splitting up the group makes us far more vulnerable. Come back to the castle immediately.” Shiro orders.

“I’m sorry, Shiro. I cannot do that.”

“If Zarkon finds us I can pilot us to safety. We’re in wide open space with plenty of room to maneuver.” Keith tells him. “Plus we’d be able to outrun him. Pidge added that booster rocket. Don’t worry, Takashi, we’ll be okay.”

“That thing’s still on there?” Coran asks, appalled. 

“We need both of you back here now!” Shiro barks, and then they are hit, and the line is cut off.

~*~

Keith checks their radar and finds that they are still completely and utterly alone. He sighs in relief. “We’ve been out here for hours, and there’s still no sign of Zarkon.”

“Well at least I don’t have to wait out here alone.” Allura says. “You understand, I could never live with myself if Zarkon was finding us because of me. I must know. We face such a dire threat from the Galra.”

Keith’s stomach clenches. “Well, sure, they’re bad. No doubt about that, but at the same time, couldn’t at least a few of them be fighting for good? Just look at Ulaz. He sacrificed himself to save us.”

Allura frowns. “For all we know, his sacrifice was a ploy. One life means nothing to Zarkon.”

Keith’s hands clench on the controls. “It means something to me. It means some of them are actually willing to help. And we could use all the help we can get.”

“Any offer of help from the Galra is merely a prelude to a trap. I know all too well how quickly they turn.”

Keith sighs quietly. “It just seems crazy to lump everyone together.”

“Listen,” Allura says, like she knows better than anyone, “if there are any good Galra, they’ve had ten thousand years to take down Zarkon. I would never count on them for help.”

Keith looks back out into the emptiness of space and his jaw tightens. The bad feeling in his gut gets worse.

~*~

A while later, Keith has to break the silence again. If Shiro were here he could let the silence last endlessly. It’s always a comfortable thing with him. With Allura it’s… cold, and filled with unease.

“So what happens if Zarkon does come after us?”

“You said you could pilot us to safety, right?” she demands.

Keith tries not to look annoyed. “Sure, but after that. Can we even go back to the group? And if we don’t, who would pilot the castle, or create wormholes?”

“Well what about you? Without you, the team cannot form Voltron!”

He looks down at the controls. “I’m expendable.” He says quietly. “They could always find a new Red Paladin. They can’t find another you.”

Allura frowns. “Who dared to tell you that you were expendable?” She demands.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s true, alright? If for, for _any_ reason I can’t go back, you _can_ find another person to pilot Red. There’s no one else – that we know of at least – who can fly the castle. What then, princess?”

She falls silent, fuming, at either his words or what they mean, Keith doesn’t know.

Then Coran calls them back – rendering the entire conversation moot, because hey, they’re the ones with the Galra!  – and Keith…accidentally blows them up? Whoops?

It’ll take forever to get back now, dammit.

“We’ll never get there at this rate.” He growls.

“This was a terrible mistake! Shiro was right, we never should have left them.”

“Princess, if there’s anything I’ve learned over the course of my acquaintance with Shiro, it’s that the man is always fucking right.”

“Then why did you still come out here?”

“Because I am terrible at actually listening to people. Even him.” He says honestly.

Even later than that, Allura calls him, and he looks up. Red gets right up to them and scoops them up in her mouth gently before turning around and booking it.

“Good girl, Red.” He says affectionately, taking the controls. Allura comes to stand behind his chair and they race back to Taujeer, and their friends.

Keith arrives just in time to be a big goddamn hero and cut off the ion cannon that had been aimed at what looks like a ship full of civilians and everyone cheers.

“Good to have you back, Keith.” Shiro says warmly over the comm.

Keith grins. “Good to be back.”

“Is the princess with you?” Lance demands.

“Yes.”

“Like, with-you, with you, or-”

“Lance, I’m gay!” he says, exasperated. “And even if I wasn’t, I am in a committed relationship!”

“Yeah, _but-”_ Lance starts, but then Hunk pipes up, cutting the Blue Paladin off.

“Keith? Little help?”

Keith sighs, relieved to be done with that conversation. “On my way, buddy.”

He helps prop up the Taujeerian’s ark, then they form Voltron and kick ass.

Then they have to apologize to Shiro, who is giving them his best “I’m not mad, just disappointed” eyes. Ouch.

But hey, they did end up finding out how Zarkon is tracking them! It’s through the Black Lion!

…

_Fuck._

~*~

“Okay, so, did I mention I was sorry for, like, sneaking out?” Keith says at the door to their room. Shiro looks up from doing pushups on the floor and sighs at him before pushing himself up.  

“I woke up and you were gone. I was… worried.”

Keith scuffs his shoe on the floor and avoids looking Shiro in the eye. “Sorry.”

“Come here.” Shiro holds out a hand and Keith walks into his arms. “If you ever suddenly get the urge to leave for the good of the team again, could you at least leave a note?”

Keith laughs and buries his face into Shiro’s shirt. “Yeah, I’ll remember that next time.”

“That’s all I ask.”

~*~

Later, they are all in the lounge hanging out. Coran and Allura are in the corner, talking about how to get replacements for the scaltrite lenses, Pidge is on her computer, Keith is where he should be – curled in Shiro’s lap while the older man reads – and Lance is telling increasingly crude jokes to Hunk.

Race jokes, gay jokes, holocaust jokes…

Then suddenly, he tells a rape joke – a goddamn _gang rape_ joke –  and Keith’s head snaps up.

“That’s _not_ funny.” He growls. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Shiro very slowly setting the tablet he’d been perusing down, probably preparing to restrain Keith or whisk him out of the room if he has a panic attack, one or the other.

Lance snorts. “Come on, man. Crude humor is my thing.”

“Okay, fine, have your offensive jokes, but not that kind.”

“What? It’s not like anyone here’s had that happen to them.”

Keith jumps up before Shiro can grab him but he doesn’t move further. “You don’t know that. You don’t know what people have been through.”

“Uh, Lance…” Hunk tries to say, but Lance ignores him.

“What? You have the embodiment of the perfect boyfriend. Like _you’ve_ ever been in a situation where you got gang ra-”

Keith kinda loses himself for a minute.

The next thing he knows, he’s in the middle of the room and Lance is on the floor, clutching his nose. Keith’s knuckles sting and he’s pretty sure he can feel blood on them. Whether his own or Lance’s he can’t really tell.

“Shut. Your. Mouth.” He hisses. “You don’t know _anything_ about me.” Keith’s hands are shaking. He can’t tell whether it’s in rage or fear.

“Dude!” Lance shouts, sitting up shakily. “What the fuck is your problem!? Learn to take a goddamn joke!”

Keith’s vision blurs and he’s just so _angry_. “You wanna know why you think it’s such a goddamn _joke_? Because it’s _never happened to you_. _You_ get to choose who to have sex with! You get to spend your first time with someone you _love!_ I lost my virginity when I was _fourteen years old_ and guess what!? _It wasn’t my choice!!”_ He hauls Lance up by the collar only to shove him violently into Hunk, who steadies him. Both have a look of absolute horror on their faces, but Keith can’t stop. The floodgates are finally open. Lance has finally finished pushing him over the edge.

“You wanna know _why_ I only trust Shiro, Lance? Because he was the first person in my whole goddamn life to not take advantage of me! He is the _only person_ who has ever looked at me and not thought ‘what can I take from him?’ He is the only person I have ever _willingly slept with, because he is the only person I could ever trust_. You wanna know why I don’t trust _you!? Because you are just like everyone else!!_ You want something from me! Well, get in fucking line, because so does the rest of the goddamn world! Everyone _but Shiro._ Do you get it now, Lance?? Do you fucking get it now?? I will _never trust you_ because all you have ever shown me is that you are _just. Like. Them!!”_

He finally quiets, chest heaving, shoulders shaking, tears streaming down his face. He doesn’t care.

“Takashi,” he says weakly, and a pair of arms instantly wrap around him.

“Come here, baby.” He says quietly, and he lifts Keith into his arms. Any other time he might be embarrassed, now he just turns and hides his face in the fabric of Shiro’s shirt.

“Shi-” Someone starts to say. Pidge, maybe.

“Not now.” Shiro says firmly. “Princess, excuse us. Barring a major emergency, I would appreciate if no one bothers us until tomorrow, please.”

Keith wonders if anyone else can hear the barely suppressed rage in Shiro’s voice, or see the tremor in his arms that Keith can feel.

“Of course.” Allura says quietly, and then Shiro is moving, as fast as he can without jarring Keith, and makes it to their room in record time, just as Keith starts sobbing.

“Shh,” Shiro soothes, sitting on the edge of their bed and holding Keith tightly against him. “I’ve got you. I’m here. You’re safe, Keith. No one can touch you.”

Keith continues to shake apart in Shiro’s arms. He doesn’t stop for a very long time.

~*~

The room is utterly silent. It is reminiscent of how they were all left after Keith’s first outburst, in the training deck, but this is so much heavier.

And the revelations quite a bit darker.

“I fucked up.” Lance says after several long, tense minutes. “I fucked up _so bad_.”

“No fucking duh.” Pidge spits. “Keith literally just compared you to his _rapists.”_

Lance flinches. “ _Fuck.”_  He whispers and buries his head in his hands.

“Did you know?” Hunk asks Pidge. “I mean, your brother was their friend.”

She shakes her head and looks towards the door, biting her lip. “I had no idea. I don’t think Matt did – does – either. When he talked about Keith’s trust issues, it didn’t seem like he knew the reason behind them. I knew just as much as he did.”

“I don’t know if earth years are the same as Altean ones but… fourteen is fairly young, yes?” Allura asks quietly.

“Yeah.” Pidge says darkly. “It is.”

“He was just a child.” Coran says sadly. “I…suddenly understand Keith far more than I ever have.”

“I think we all do.” Hunk says, sitting down on the abandoned sofa. “I feel terrible for what I said to him about the Zarkon command thing. He just wanted to keep Shiro safe.”

“None of us knew. We couldn’t have-” Allura starts but Pidge cuts her off.

“We didn’t know the details, but I think we all guessed that _something_ had happened.” She grits out. “We should have been more careful.” She glares at Lance as she says it, but he can’t see her, he’s still got his head in his hands, standing in the middle of the room.

They all fall silent after that. None of them know what to say.

They don’t know what they _can_ say.

~*~

Pidge doesn’t sleep. She can’t get work done either. She paces the halls, avoiding the area outside Keith and Shiro’s room, and tries desperately not to think of the look on Keith’s face as he broke down in tears. She’d never seen Keith cry before. She’d never even thought she could visualize it. Until she saw it in person.

She wishes Matt were here. He was their friend. He’d know what to say.

Eventually, at what would probably be three AM on Earth, she goes into the kitchens to get a glass of water, and stops dead when she sees Shiro standing there, shirtless and piling leftovers from dinner onto a plate. Her eyes widen at the sheer amount of scars on the older man’s body. It was easy to forget sometimes that Shiro’s been through hell too.

He turns and raises an eyebrow at her and she looks away quickly. “Hey.” She says quietly.

Shiro nods, and continues fixing a plate.

“How,” Pidge clears her throat and starts again. “How is he?”

Shiro sighs and closes his eyes, leaning against the counter. “He only just fell asleep a few minutes ago. He’ll need to eat when he wakes up, even though I _know_ he’ll say he’s not hungry, so,” he gestures at the plate of food in front of him.

“Is he gonna be okay, Shiro?”

Another sigh. “He will be, eventually. It’s just…before this evening, I was the only person he’d ever told about his… past. Having all of you find out at the same time? It’s freaking him out pretty badly. He never wanted anyone to know.”

“So my brother doesn’t know either?”

“No. Keith didn’t want to say anything and it’s not my story to tell. Technically he never even meant to tell _me_ , but I caught him in the middle of a pretty bad flashback, so he felt he owed me an explanation.” Shiro’s jaw clenches and his metal fingers clamp down on the counter, the material screeching in protest. “This has just reminded me how much I want to find them, and kill them.”

“I get that. I mean, fourteen…that’s only a year younger than I am. I can’t even imagine.”

“It didn’t start when he was fourteen.” Shiro says ominously. “That’s just when The Incident happened.”

Pidge looks up, wide-eyed. “ _Shiro-”_

“Dammit.” Shiro sighs and rubs his forehead. “I…said too much. It’s his story to tell, not mine. I need to get back to him. I don’t want him waking up alone.” He picks up the plate and makes as though to walk past her, then pauses and settles a hand on her shoulder. “Get some sleep, Pidge. You staying up all night fretting isn’t going to do Keith any good.”

And then he’s gone.

~*~

Shiro enters their room quietly and sets the plate of food down on the desk before carefully sliding back under the covers. Keith grunts in his sleep but doesn’t wake, simply turning to curl up into Shiro’s warmth. Shiro runs his fingers over Keith’s back soothingly and the younger man settles back into a deep sleep, but Shiro knows he won’t be following. He never thought he’d ever be so mad at someone he considered a friend, but Lance had crossed a line. He has no idea how he’s going to deal with it when he doesn’t think he won’t just punch the Blue Paladin on sight.

He’s used to Keith being the impulsive, angry one in this relationship, damn.

He finally falls asleep, only to wake not long after to Keith screaming bloody murder. He pulls the younger man against him and murmurs quiet reassurances until he settles again. It’s been a long time since his nightmares were quite that bad.

“Sorry.” Keith’s voice croaks from the darkness.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“…I’m gonna have to tell them. Tomorrow. I’m gonna have to tell them everything.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Keith.” Shiro tells him firmly, tightening his hold on the suddenly fragile form in his arms. “You don’t have to tell them anything if you don’t want to. I can make sure none of them ask questions, just say the word and they’ll leave you alone.”

Keith shakes his head slowly, bangs brushing against Shiro’s bare chest. “No. I…I think I need to do it. I think it’ll be for the best. Although I’m not really sure how functional I’ll be after.”

“I’ll bring you back here. You won’t have to talk to them or answer any questions.” Shiro offers.

“Yeah, that’s… yeah. That’ll work.”

“Okay.” Shiro kisses the top of his lover’s head and pulls him even closer. “It’s a plan.”

~*~

Keith has never been more nervous in his life, and this is counting the time he spent waiting for Shiro the night he first asked him to sleep with him, and he’d been _pretty fucking terrified_.

But Shiro is here, arm wrapped around his shoulders, ready and willing to get Keith the fuck out of dodge at the first sign of a panic attack, so he thinks he’ll be okay.

Shiro opens the door and Keith steels himself for the stares he knows he’s about to get.

As soon as he steps in the room, the others all look up at him, and _keep looking_. He steadfastly doesn’t look at any one of them, instead focusing on a spot on the far wall.

“So.” He says awkwardly. “I…have had a really, really shitty life.”

And he tells them. About the woman and her abuse, and the man and his “game”. He tells the story of the foster children and the well, and then, after several long minutes of silence, punctuated by Shiro lacing their fingers together, he tells them about the month he spent with the man who raped him, and the night he was, in fact, gang raped. He sees Lance flinch out of the corner of his eye, but he just keeps talking. He tells them he got out the next morning, that no one believed him, or worse, blamed him. He tells them he shut everyone out after that.

And then, he tells them about Shiro. How he was the first person to really want to know Keith, not for any selfish reasons. He explains, very calmly, why he needs Shiro, why he trusts him, and why he doesn’t trust any of them yet, and maybe never will.

Then, when he runs out of words, he starts shaking, and Shiro quietly steers him out of the room, and back to their own.

They curl up in the bed, Shiro leaning against the headboard with Keith between his legs, back to chest, and they just sit in silence for a long time until Keith finally stops shaking.

“Are you alright?” Shiro murmurs, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“No.” Keith says honestly, leaning his head back onto Shiro’s shoulder. “But… I think I will be.”

~*~

Several hours later there is a knock at the door and Shiro goes to answer it. He can’t see who it is past Shiro’s bulk, but he can guess by the way Shiro responds. He tenses and his hand grasps the doorframe in a white-knuckled grip. Thankfully it’s his human hand or the metal of the frame would be bent.

“I am normally not one prone to violence, but considering the circumstances I am having a very hard time not punching you right now.” He hears Shiro say lowly. And there’s that barely suppressed rage again.

There’s a beat of silence, and then “I know.” Lance says quietly. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Even if you used your metal hand.”

“What are you doing here, Lance?”

“I… can I talk to him?”

Shiro cocks his head slightly towards Keith in question, and he sighs.

“Let him in, Takashi.”

Shiro steps out of the way, and Lance steps inside. He won’t look at Keith, too busy wringing the bottom of his jacket in his hands.

“I…I know I can’t say ‘I’m sorry’, because that’s… that’s not nearly enough. But I don’t have any other words. I didn’t know how much I’ve been hurting you, how much I’d already hurt you. I was blind, and stupid, and ignorant, and selfish. And, I genuinely _am_ sorry, Keith.” He finally looks up and meets Keith’s gaze. “That’s the long and the short of it. I am so sorry. I refused to see what I was doing to you, both at the Garrison and here, and, I feel sick, knowing that I caused you pain when you were already living with so much. You’re right. I didn’t know what I was talking about. So thank you for taking the time to set me straight. I deserve whatever you do or say.” He bows his head and waits.

Keith sighs. “God, even when you apologize, you’re so fucking over-dramatic.”

Lance’s head snaps up. “I’m sorry!”

Keith waves him off and stands, striding over to stand in front of the Blue Paladin and crossing his arms. “If I ever tell you you’re crossing a line again, you had better fucking listen, and trust that I know what the hell I’m talking about. You do not get to say who has or has not experienced trauma. The person who’s been through it does.”

Lance swallows and nods.

“And for the love of god, stop with the ‘you’re my eternal hate-rival’ bullshit. We are not in fucking middle school. Competition is healthy, and I’ll be the first one to admit I take it too far when provoked, but there’s a line there too. We can’t keep letting it affect the team.”

Another nod.

Keith tilts his head. “Alright.”

Lance looks up, confused. “That’s it?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “I mean, I guess I could lock you and Shiro in the training deck for an hour and tell him to go nuts.”

Shiro, being the over-dramatic goof that he is, cracks his knuckles at the words. Lance pales.

“No, nope, think I’m good!”

Keith smirks. “Well then, there ya go. Now get the hell out. I wanna cuddle with my boyfriend.”

Lance fucking _salutes him_ and all but sprints out the still open door.

“Okay,” Keith says, turning to face Shiro with a small smile. “ _Now_ I’m starting to feel alright.”

~*~

The next day they experience a fucking one eighty turn, mood wise, and they go to a space mall, where shenanigans will undoubtedly ensue.

Shiro gives him a concerned look when he says he’ll go with the mall group instead of hanging around the castle.

“Keith, are you sure?”

Keith sighs and tugs Shiro’s face down so he can press their foreheads together. He has decided he is going to give zero fucks about PDA in front of the other residents of the castle. They owe him this much, dammit. Admittedly, the other three paladins and Coran are already headed down to the pod bay, but whatever.

“I’ll be _fine_ , Takashi. Stop worrying.”

Shiro smiles and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Okay, just…You know I can’t help it, right?”

“I know.” He says fondly, and reels Shiro in for a proper kiss.

When he arrives in the pod bay, Lance is crowing over getting shotgun and Hunk is pouting, but they fall silent when he walks in, even Coran and Pidge seem to grow more solemn.

Keith sighs. “I will tell all of you what I told Shiro when he found out, and _still_ have to remind him on occasion: _I am not made of glass_. Shitty things happened to me, but please for the love of god do not start walking on eggshells around me. The best thing you can do for me? Don’t fucking treat me any different.” He pauses, then adds, “Though if any of you decide to touch me, maybe ask first. Touch is… debatable, when it comes to me.”

Then he climbs into the back, and that’s the end of that.

On the way to space mall, of course, there are questions.

“So, you don’t let anybody touch you?” Pidge asks quietly.

Keith shrugs. “Obviously Shiro can, pretty much whenever or however he wants. He’s got a free pass, although seeing as it’s _Shiro_ , he still tends to ask. The only other person who I’ve let touch me since, _then_ , is your brother.”

“Matt?”

“Yeah. I was pretty comfortable with him by the time the Kerberos mission left.”

Pidge smiles softly. “I remember him saying he’d attained ‘level two friendship’ with you but wouldn’t tell us what that meant.”

Keith snorts. “Oh my god, I remember that. Your brother is weird as shit.”

“I know.”

“I mean, if I let someone _hug me_ , it’s way more than a fucking level two.”

Pidge laughs

~*~

A brief stint involving knives, a cow, and a space mall cop later and they’re back on the castle. Shiro apparently had a fun time on the astral plane and has bonded with the Black Lion, who apparently saved him and attacked Zarkon. Thank fuck.

Now they’re heading for the Blade of Marmora headquarters.

…

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was bracing. Keith is in an uneasy mindset, which is only going to be made worse by the visit to the Blades! And we're getting even more angst from canon on Friday! Woo! Lance will be less of an asshole now, at least. That's something, right?
> 
> Announcement: I'm not going to update for the next week. Season 6 drops on Friday and since it will (hopefully) clear up the clone Shiro versus plain-old-brainwashed Shiro controversy once and for all, I will be able to finally write ahead in my mostly canon compliant fics (AKA, the ones I currently have here on AO3). I probably won't update until next Sunday, though depending on life and the universe and the gods of writing, I may do next Wednesday instead. Either way, no updates this Sunday, but you probably won't notice anyway because S6 is going to kill us all.  
> With that being said, have a fantastic week, and I wish you all a swift recovery from whatever hell the upcoming season will put us through.
> 
> Howling ghosts they reappear  
> In mountains that are stacked with fear  
> But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.  
> And in the sea that's painted black,  
> Creatures lurk below the deck  
> But you're a king and I'm a lionheart.  
> And as the world comes to an end  
> I'll be here to hold your hand  
> 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart.  
> \- King and Lionheart, Of Monsters and Men


	18. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back! Season 6 killed me dead and then revived me with a vengeance! We got an "I love you"! I'm still not over that! I got so much motivation to write and did a lot of it!  
> Now have a throwback to another one of our favorite Sheith-y episodes with lots of angst and really really sappy smut!  
> (Wait, what do you mean that last part wasn't canon?)

They arrive at the Blade of Marmora headquarters, and it really is a sight to behold. How on earth they managed to build anything like it is beyond any of them.

Keith barely even takes notice.

They are given instruction to come unarmed, and only two of them can go, which makes him tense until Shiro calls on him to go. Red is the most heat-resistant and can get out of dodge fast if need be. Keith is told to leave his bayard, but he takes his dagger, tucking it into his boot. He’ll need it to… to ask. To get an explanation.

In the lion, Shiro can very clearly pick up on his tension.

“Keith, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” He says, not looking up.

“You kinda blew up at everybody back there. You’ll have to control your emotions if you’re gonna lead this group someday.”

He huffs a laugh. “Lead the group?”

“When we were stranded, I told you that if anything happens to me, I want you to lead Voltron.”

Hold up, _what?_

He glances up at his boyfriend incredulously. “I thought you were just delirious with pain. Why would you make me the leader!?”

“Because I know what you’re capable of. If you can learn some self-discipline.”

He laughs again, darker this time. “Shiro, the last time something ‘happened’ to you, I essentially lost the will to live. What do you think would happen if I lost you again, huh? Do you really think it would go any better? I told you before, I _can’t_ lose you again. Thus, rendering this entire conversation moot, because _nothing is going to happen to you._ ”

“It’s just in case.” Shiro says quietly, resting a hand on Keith’s shoulder and squeezing. “I never want to put you through anything like that again, baby, but sometimes things just happen.”

“Well they won’t happen to you.”

Then they almost get sucked into a black hole, and boy, wouldn’t _that_ have ruined their day.

Well, looks like Keith’s gonna ruin their day anyway.

The Blades find his dagger, and they demand to know how he got it. Gee, he’d like to know too.

“Who did you steal this from?” The angry one with the tail demands.

“I didn’t! I’ve had it all my life.” Keith grits out, straining to see over his own shoulder.

“Lies!”

“Can you corroborate your friend’s statement?” Kolivan asks Shiro. “Does this blade truly belong to him?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Shiro, you know me. I _promise you_ I didn’t steal it. I’ve had this knife as long as I can remember.” He lowers his voice for his next statement. “It… It was my dad’s.”

Shiro’s eyes widen minutely before Keith is shoved harder against the ground. He tells them about seeing Ulaz’s blade, and he asks what it means. Kolivan tells him he’ll have to work for the answer. Someone else who wants something from him, huh? Get in fucking line.

Although, “knowledge or death” sounded pretty immediate, either way.

~*~

He and Shiro are led into another room, where Keith is given a uniform of sorts to change into. This time, Shiro is the one protesting to the plan.

“Death, Keith. He said death. I don’t… I _really_ don’t like this.”

Keith sighs and finishes tugging on the skin-tight suit the Blades gave him. “I know, Shiro. But…this is something that I have to do. I need to know why my dad had this. He always said there was a story behind it, but, of course, he died before he could tell me. Never imagined aliens were involved, but there you have it.”

“Keith,” Shiro catches his arm and pulls him close. “I… I understand. But… I’m scared for you. I don’t want-”

Keith kisses him. “It’ll be okay, Takashi.” He murmurs. Then he steps away and turns to the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

~*~

They weren’t kidding about the survive thing, huh? Jesus.

~*~

Shiro watches Keith go up against endless waves of Galra, and it’s pinging his bad memories in ways he does not like. He nearly cries out with Keith when his shoulder gets sliced open but remains silent. He knows Keith. He knows he can do this. He has to believe that. He’ll survive.

Or Shiro will tear this whole damn place apart.

~*~

Keith eventually gets smart and goes through the door he’s _meant_ to go through. Cryptic rebel Galra assholes. He grips his shoulder and tries to push down the pain, but then the blood loss must catch up to him, because he collapses to the ground. He blinks his eyes open to see a figure walking towards him, and he fights with his exhausted muscles to _get up, dammit_ , but then the figure crouches and holds out a hand, and his face comes into focus.

“Hey, you did it.”

“Shiro?”

~*~

 Shiro frowns at the two monitors in front of him. One shows Keith still collapsed onto the floor, seemingly unconscious, the other shows a copy of _himself_ pulling Keith to his feet.

“Is that a hologram?”

“His suit has the ability to create a virtual mindscape, reflecting its wearer’s greatest hopes and fears. And at this moment, your friend desperately wants to see you.”

Shiro’s jaw tightens and returns to watching the screen.

~*~

“Kolivan tells me you lasted longer than anyone has in those battles. You don’t have to keep this up.”

“What are you talking about?” Keith asks shakily, looking up at the older man.

“Just give them the knife and let’s get out of here.” Shiro says, smiling softly.

Keith bites his lip. “I can’t give it to them, Shiro.”

“I get that it was your dad’s, Keith, but you’re going to kill yourself if this keeps up!” Shiro snaps.

“Shiro, please.” He hates it when Shiro is upset with him, but this… “It’s the only connection I have to my past. It’s my chance to find out who I really am.”

“You know _exactly_ who you are. A paladin of Voltron, and the love of my life.  I thought I was the only family you needed?”

Keith looks down at the knife in his hand. “Takashi, I love you. More than _anything_ , but I have to do this.” He pleads, looking back up and trying not to flinch at the anger he can see in his lover’s eyes.

“No, you _don’t_. So just give them the knife!”

“I can’t do that.” He says. He can’t meet Shiro’s eyes anymore. He’s never seen him so angry.

“Just give up the knife, Keith! You’re only thinking of yourself, as usual!”

Keith hesitates, swallowing thickly. “I’ve made my choice.”

“Then you’ve chosen to be alone.”

Keith’s head snaps up at the words, and he watches Shiro walk away. Away from him. _No_.

“Wait, Shiro, please-!” _Don’t leave_. _Please don’t leave me._ “Takashi!”

He starts to move towards Shiro’s retreating form, tears in his eyes blurring the edges of the room, and then he finds himself in the shack, back on earth. He blinks in surprise, and the tears that had gathered slip down his cheeks. He wipes at them angrily.

Shiro was gone. Shiro left.

He turns towards the door. “Shi-” he starts, but halts when the ground trembles. Then a voice speaks behind him.

“Keith.”

Keith freezes. He knows that voice. But…that’s impossible. He hasn’t heard it in _years,_ not since…

He turns to face the man now standing in the corner of the shack, ragged flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, and one hand shoved into the pocket of ratty old blue jeans. The other hand is adjusting the dial on their ancient radio.

“Dad?”

His father turns and smiles at him. “You’re home, son.”

The ground shakes again, and Keith’s head jerks towards the covered windows. “What’s going on outside?” _Shiro_. His mind says. _Shiro is out there_.

“Don’t worry about that. We’ll be fine as long as we stay in here.” His father says easily. “Don’t you wanna catch up?”

Keith can feel tears gathering again. “Of course I do.” He rasps.

His dad sighs, but he’s still smiling. “Son, so many years have passed. I have so much to tell you.”

The ground shakes again. “What is that?” he demands, facing the window again. _Shiro. Shiro is out there, right now. He needs me._

He crosses to the window and tugs down the curtain.

“Everything’s fine.” His dad says, just as the curtain falls, and Keith sees what’s happening.

Galra. The Galra are finally here. Waves of sentries march on the ground and a lone battleship hovers low in the sky, firing lasers at screaming civilians. Red sits on a cliff between the shack and the Galra. Her eyes are dark.

“Dad, I, I’m sorry. I gotta go.” _Shiro and the others are out there. They need me._ “There’s people who need me out there.” _He needs me._

He turns, and his dad is holding out the knife in both hands. “Don’t you wanna know about where you came from?” he looks down at the knife in contemplation. “Your mother gave it to me.”

Keith freezes. “Mom?” Dad never talked much about her, only ever when Keith asked, and only ever about small things. She was impossibly tall, and fierce, and stubborn. But she loved him. She had loved her son so much.

The people outside scream again and when Keith looks, the sentries are so much closer.

His father’s smile widens. “She’ll be here soon.”

~*~

Shiro watches Keith’s expression, his real one. He’s flat on his back on the ground and his face is twisted in pain. It’s a face Shiro is unfortunately familiar with. He’s having a nightmare.

“You need to get him out of there!” He tells Kolivan angrily.

“He can decide when to leave.”

Shiro snaps a little bit. “You’re messing with his mind! You’re going to kill him!”

“Knowledge or death, Shiro.”

Shiro grits his teeth. _Screw that._ “I’m calling this off.” He starts to leave the room, but two of the Blades stop him.

And then the whole base shakes.

Red is ripping the place apart trying to get to her boy, and Shiro has never loved the temperamental lion that bonded with his boyfriend more.

“It has a link with Keith! It knows when he’s in danger! It’s coming for him!” He warns the Blades.

A piece of roof falls and Shiro is able to break out of the guards’ hold, and he books it towards Keith.

“Hang on, baby, I’m on my way.”

~*~

“You gotta tell me, Dad. I have to know!” Keith is wound so tight he feels like he’s going to snap. He needs to be out there, but he also _needs to be in here_. Fuck. “Where did the knife come from? What does it _mean?_ ”

“Your mother is almost here. She’ll tell you everything.”

The lights outside dim, and then a bomb goes off.

“I can’t wait around anymore! I have to go!” He turns and walks towards the door but stops dead with his hand on the handle when his father speaks again.

“If you go out that door, you’ll never find out who you are.”

Keith looks back at his father, one last time. “Goodbye, Dad.” He murmurs and steps out the door.

~*~

He wakes up suddenly, on the floor of the Blade of Marmora base, and can’t remember how he got back here. He glances to the side when he hears footsteps and is relieved to see Shiro sprinting towards him.

“You came back.” He says in a voice that sounds small even to his own ears. Shiro’s jaw tenses, but he helps Keith to his feet. Keith has to cling to him to keep from falling again.

“Are you okay?” Shiro asks, but before he can respond, several Blade members show up, and oops, apparently Red is attacking because he was freaking out.

“Call off your beast!” Kolivan orders.

“Out of our way, we’re _leaving_.” Shiro snarls.

“You are not leaving with that blade. It does not belong to you. You _failed_ to awaken it.”

“What does that mean?” Keith says, exhausted. He just wants to sleep.

“Give up the blade.” The angry tailed one demands and pulls out his own, moving towards them. Shiro shrugs Keith off and activates his hand, stopping the downward swing of the blade.

Keith’s stomach flips. “Wait!” He says, before they can really go at it. “Just take the knife.” He says, holding it out. He’s not going to watch Shiro fight over this, not for him.

“It doesn’t matter where I come from. I know who I am. We all need to work together to defeat Zarkon, and if that means I give up this knife, fine.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then looks at Kolivan again. “Take it.”

There is a sharp ringing sound, and a bright flash of light.

“You’ve awoken the blade.” Kolivan says in amazement, and then the dagger in his hand elongates into what can more closely be called a short sword. He blinks at it in confusion. What the _shit-_

“The only way this is possible is if Galra blood runs in your veins.”

Keith drops the blade.

No. No no no. _Nononononono-_

It hits the ground with a clang and reverts back into the knife it had always been before today. He wishes he could do the same.

“Keith-” Shiro takes a step towards him, reaching out a hand, but Keith jerks back before the older paladin can touch him.

“Fine, sorry, just startled. It’s fine.” He says dully. He bends and scoops up the blade, sliding it deftly back into its sheath and turning on his heel to walk towards the door. “I need to…to let Red know I’m okay and she can stop flipping her shit. Figure out who’s coming back to the castle with us? I’ll see you out there.”

He knows Shiro tries to call for him again, but the door closes before he can.

~*~

He is silent the entire way back to the castle. He is silent when introductions are made. He is silent for as long as he can be.

Then Lance asks. Of course it’s Lance that asks.

“Dude, what happened? Red was freaking out and we were worried sick! What messed you up so bad your lion tried to break you out?”

Everyone turns to stare at Keith then, and Shiro makes a motion as though to step towards him. It’s this that makes the words come out.

“I’m Galra.” He says flatly, lowering his gaze to the floor.

Everyone freezes.

“I can use one of the Marmora blades.” He pulls it out and shows it to them, still not looking at any of their faces. “I thought it belonged to my dad, but apparently he got it from my mother. It can only be used by someone who has Galra blood, and… and I do.” He swallows thickly. “I… I am.”

Silence follows. Keith risks looking up. Allura is the one standing right in front of him and…

And she looks furious. Betrayed. Disgusted.

She should be. They all should be. He knows he is.

Keith runs from the room before anyone can start screaming, demanding he leave, that he remove himself at once from the castle and let a _real_ paladin pilot the Red Lion.

And he will, he’ll go, he just…

He really doesn’t want to hear the words from Shiro. Anyone else, but not Shiro.

He sprints down the halls, down the one that leads to their rooms. He bypasses the one he and Shiro have claimed and halts in front of the one Coran had led him to that first night, when he wasn’t sure Shiro would welcome him into his. He sure as hell knows that’ll be the case now. He enters and locks the door behind him, and vaguely remembering that Pidge could get in with such an easy lock, inputs a simple code that Matt told him would keep her out of anything. He’s not sure how he even remembers it, his mind is such a mess at present.

Then he crosses to the bed and falls onto it, curling up around the pillow and staring into the emptiness of the room.

He hears voices in the hall, then outside the door. People calling his name, telling him to come out.

_Not yet. Please not yet._

He hears Pidge and Hunk, and then the clicks of Pidge’s computer keys. A pause. Her voice very quietly informing everyone else that she can’t hack the door. Shouts of confusion (anger?) then Allura’s voice, loud and furious and demanding. Then Shiro. Quiet. Firm. Reasonable. That edge of barely contained rage.

Keith bites back a whimper at the sound of it. Shiro hates him. _As he should_.

The voices die down and disappear.

“Keith? It’s just me, I promise. Let me in?” Keith can still hear the rage in his tone. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

He turns to face the wall and clamps his hands over his ears. He doesn’t want to hear the harsh words he knows are coming. Not from Shiro. Anyone but Shiro. Please.

He hears the cadence of Shiro’s voice again. His name, a questioning tone. Then silence. He hopes Shiro has realized Keith isn’t leaving tonight. Just…just give him tonight.

Just one more night, that’s all he asks.

And then he’ll leave, and Shiro will never have to see the person who betrayed him right down to his very DNA ever, ever again.

~*~

Keith wakes hours later, mouth dry and face sticky from crying. He glances at the Altean clock, and it reads after what would equate to four AM, earth time. He figures it’s safe to get up and get some water.

He stands shakily and crosses to the door, undoing the lock and stepping out. He freezes when he sees a form slumped against the wall next to the door.

“Fucking hell, Shiro!” he hisses quietly. “You’re an utter moron! Why didn’t you just go to bed!?” He’s still in his paladin armor, for god’s sake!

Shiro doesn’t respond, of course, breathing deep with sleep. Keith sighs and crouches down next to the older man, peering into the near darkness to see his face. Fuck, now that Keith thinks about it, he’s never had much trouble to adjusting in the dark. He guesses that’s a Galra thing.

And the biting. And the headbutting. And the anger issues, and the territorialness, and-

Fuck.

Shiro starts and his eyes snap open. Whoops, Keith said that out loud.

“Keith,” Shiro says, relief clear in his voice.

“You’re an idiot.” Keith tells him softly, and then stands, ducking back into the room. Shiro follows. “Why didn’t you go to bed?”

“I couldn’t just leave you here by yourself.” Shiro says quietly.

“Why?” Keith demands, bristling.

Keith sees a reminiscent smile curl the corners of Shiro’s mouth. “Because I don’t like the thought of you being by yourself.”

Keith blinks at him for a moment before huffing a laugh. “We’re not in the goddamn Garrison anymore, Shirogane. You don’t have to pretend to care anymore. It’s okay.”

Shiro’s expression saddens. “Keith, I was never pretending.”

“But I’m… I’m one of _them_.” He chokes, stepping back until his knees hit the edge of the bed and he sinks down upon it. “I’m _Galra_.”

“I don’t care.”

Keith’s gaze snaps up to meet Shiro’s. The older man is looking at him steadily, posture relaxed and open, just how it’s always been.

“How could you not?” Keith chokes. “Shiro, the Galra _tortured you_. They’ve done horrible things to so many people, and I… I’m one of them.”

“No, you’re not.” Shiro says firmly, crossing the room slowly and kneeling in front of Keith’s hunched over form. “You are the same wonderful, perfect person you’ve always been. This isn’t something that just happened, Keith, it’s been true your whole life, just now you know. Being part Galra hasn’t made you a horrible person who’s done horrible things. You are not like the monsters who attacked you on Earth, and you are not like the monsters that attacked me out here. You are you, and I love all of you.”

Keith chokes out a sob. Dammit. “I don’t want to be like them.”

“You won’t be.” Shiro soothes, cupping his face in his hands and pressing their foreheads together. “You _aren’t_.”

“Everyone else might have a different opinion.” Keith whispers.

“No one cares, Keith. When you bolted out of the room, we were all so worried. Pidge was distraught when she couldn’t break the lock, and Lance and Hunk were working themselves up to start ramming the door. They’re worried about how you’re coping. No one hates you, Keith, despite what you may be thinking.”

“I saw the look on Allura’s face, Shiro.” Keith says wearily. “You can’t tell me that no one here hates me for this.”

Shiro’s jaw tightens. “Allura will have to learn to get over herself and her stereotyping if she ever wants us to speak to her ever again.”

“So whatever she said outside the door was pretty bad, huh?”

“You didn’t hear it? Thank god. She was saying some pretty… nasty things. I almost hit her. Hunk had to hold Pidge back, and I’m pretty sure Coran was doing the same to Lance.”

“Is… that’s why you sounded so angry? It wasn’t because…” he gestures to himself and Shiro pales.

“No, god no. But of course that’s what you thought. Dammit.” Shiro sighs. “I was _furious_ with her. I still am. I don’t even think I was this mad at _Lance._ At least he had the excuse of not knowing. Any anger you heard? All at her. She seems to have completely forgotten you’ve already been abandoned before in your life and sees no issue with doing it herself.”

“Joy of joys.” Keith mutters.

“Hey,” Shiro says firmly. “She doesn’t matter. Her opinion of the Galra, of _you_? Doesn’t matter. She’s just one person. The rest of us? We don’t give a single fuck.”

Keith laughs weakly. He can count on his fingers the number of times he’s heard Shiro curse.

“Are… You’re sure you don’t hate me?” Keith asks very quietly after a pause.

The Black Paladin’s expression softens, and he tucks a lock of hair carefully behind Keith’s ear. “Keith, even if we woke up tomorrow and you were suddenly purple and fluffy with glowing yellow eyes, I’d still look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Keith swallows and blinks away more tears. “Okay.”

Shiro pulls away slightly, eyes searching his face for… something. “Can I kiss you?” he murmurs.

Keith shivers and nods frantically. “Yeah, yeah please.”

Shiro smiles softly, and then leans in to kiss him breathless, just like he’s always done. He takes Keith’s shoulders, trying to pull him closer, and Keith winces.

“Ouch.” He mumbles against Shiro’s mouth.

The older paladin pulls away quickly. “Sorry, I forgot about your shoulder. Here,” he stands only to sit on the bed next to Keith, pulling at him gently, turning him further towards himself. “Let me see it.”

Keith shrugs off his armor – whoops, he never changed out of that himself – and pulls the black bodysuit off his shoulders, exposing the wound. Shiro hisses.

“That looks pretty bad.”

“Doesn’t feel too great either.” Keith mutters.

“Let’s go back to our room. I have a first-aid kit in the bathroom. I doubt you want to be in a pod right now, yeah?”

Bless this man for knowing him so well.

“Yeah.”

Shiro smiles and tugs him to his feet, lacing their fingers together and leading him out of the room and down the hall into their own. Shiro vanishes into the bathroom and emerges with a small white box, pushing Keith to sit on the bed and then cleaning and bandaging the wound.

“Takashi?” He murmurs when Shiro’s smoothing the bandage down over the length of the area.

“Hm?”

“Can we…?” He grips the fabric of Shiro’s own bodysuit in his hand, tugging lightly. Shiro takes his hand gently, lacing their fingers together again.

“You sure you’re up for it?” he asks quietly, pulling their joined hands up to kiss the back of Keith’s.

Keith nods and leans his head against Shiro’s shoulder. “I need you.”

Shiro uses his free hand to tilt his chin up so he can press his lips against Keith’s forehead. “You have me.”

Keith surges forwards and kisses him, because he _has to_. He has to feel Shiro against him. Has to know that even after the horrible revelation today, that Shiro still wants him. Because he sure as hell still needs Shiro.

“You’re still wearing your clothes.” Keith growls, biting Shiro’s lower lip and then soothing the sting with his tongue. “That needs to change. Now.”

Shiro huffs a laugh and tugs at Keith’s bodysuit. “You’re still wearing yours too, you know.”

“Not the point, Takashi.” But he stands and works at the nearly invisible fastenings of his suit until the material peels away from him the rest of the way and he can shuck it off. He crawls back up the bed and falls against the pillows, looking up just in time to see Shiro strip out of his paladin armor.

Keith makes grabby hands at the older man – much to Shiro’s visible amusement – and snags his metal fingers as soon as the Black Paladin gets close, tugging him down on top of him.

“Hey,” Shiro murmurs, cupping Keith’s cheek with those same fingers and stroking his thumb over his cheekbone.

“Hey yourself.” Keith hums and kisses Shiro again.

“How do you want to do this?” Shiro asks, hand sliding down from Keith’s face to trace patterns against his collarbone.

“Don’t care, just need you.” Keith kisses him again and then nuzzles into his neck, biting gently at the skin there. Just because he now knows it’s a Galra thing doesn’t mean he’s going to stop. He happens to like biting Shiro, dammit.

“Okay, then hang on to me.”

Keith blinks up at his boyfriend in confusion, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s neck obediently. “Shiro, wha-?”

He cuts himself off with a yelp when Shiro suddenly flips them, sitting upright with Keith now cradled in his lap.

 “That was kinda hot.” Keith says, still vaguely disoriented.

Shiro laughs and leans against the headboard. “You good like this?”

Keith realizes what Shiro plans to do, and nods enthusiastically. “Oh hell yes. Now fuck me.”

Shiro laughs again softly and shakes his head before leaning over and tapping the wall. The hidden drawer pops out and Shiro pulls out the bottle of Altean lube.

Keith tucks his face back into the crook of Shiro’s neck and bites him again. “C’mon, Takashi.”

“Pa-”

“Shirogane, if you say ‘patience yields focus’ to me right now, I will make you suffer.”

Shiro laughs and wraps his arms around Keith’s waist, nuzzling against his hair. “I love you, you know that?”

Keith hums and nuzzles against Shiro’s shoulder. “I know.”

Hearing Shiro laugh, feeling his arms around him, knowing that Shiro really doesn’t hate him… it makes Keith sigh happily and relax into Shiro’s hold.

Only for him to tense again with a startled yelp when Shiro slides a finger inside him. The yelp turns into a moan and his neglected erection twitches against Shiro’s stomach.

“Sneaky bastard.” He mutters against Shiro’s skin.

Shiro hums and presses a kiss to Keith’s temple, moving his finger in and out steadily before deftly slipping in another.

Keith moans again and his hands grip Shiro’s shoulders tightly. “Takashi,” He whines, “hurry, _please_.”

Shiro’s breath catches as Keith clenches his muscles around the two digits inside him and suddenly Keith’s head is being pulled out of the crook of Shiro’s neck so he can be kissed hungrily, Shiro’s tongue pushing inside his mouth and tangling with his own.

Keith is ridiculously glad Shiro is supporting him or else he’d collapse. Fuck he loves when Shiro gets riled up. Keith smirks into the kiss as an idea hits him and he releases one of Shiro’s shoulders to slide a hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Shiro’s cock and squeezing.

“Keith,” Shiro groans against his mouth, and finally adds a third finger. Keith is quite pleased with himself until he feels Shiro’s fingers leaving him and he is lifted up onto his knees. He grips Shiro’s shoulders again to maintain his balance, and then he is being guided back down onto Shiro’s cock.

Keith chokes on his whimper and kisses Shiro again to try and muffle any more of the tiny, embarrassing sounds.

Shiro makes a choked noise of his own when Keith is finally settled fully in his lap again and pulls back so he can press their foreheads together.

For several minutes, neither of them move, they just hold each other, their breaths calming until they’re breathing in sync. Keith has only ever felt peace like this when he’s with Shiro. Only ever with Shiro.

“I love you.” He breathes into the sudden quiet of the room.

“I love you too.” Shiro murmurs, kissing him gently before settling back against the headboard. “You good?” He asks, because he always asks.

“Yeah.” Keith sighs and tips his head back, hands gliding down from Shiro’s shoulders until they’re splayed across his chest. He can feel Shiro’s heartbeat against his fingertips. “Yeah, I’m good, Takashi. You can move.”

Shiro hums in assent, but they remain still for another several minutes, just…breathing together.

Finally, Shiro’s hands return to his hips and he pulls Keith up so he can press into him again.

It’s…different, from any time before. It reminds Keith a lot of their first time, when Shiro was going so slow and being so gentle because he was terrified Keith was going to shatter beneath him.

Keith actually feels a bit like shattering now. Shiro’s going so slow, so _sweet_ that Keith feels like his chest is going to burst. Usually Keith tells him to hurry up, that he’s not going to break, but honestly? He feels vulnerable tonight. He needs this, this slow and steady rhythm, reinforcing the fact that Shiro is here, with him, and always will be. That he loves Keith, and has no trouble taking his time showing that.

Shiro sighs and leans his head against Keith’s shoulder. Keith’s hands slide into Shiro’s hair, massaging lightly at his scalp. Nothing exists right now but the two of them. They have all the time in the universe to enjoy each other, to feel each other and know that they are loved.

Keith’s mind blocks everything out, his focus entirely on Shiro. He has no idea how much time passes as they rock together, but it doesn’t matter. They’ve been at it for what feels like hours, and it’s _wonderful_.

“Takashi,” He gasps eventually, pressing their foreheads together again as Shiro grinds against his prostate. “Fuck, _fuck,_ feels so good, you always make me feel _so_ _good…_ ”

Shiro fucking _growls_ and kisses him again, surprisingly gently, compared to the rough sound coming out of his throat.

“God, Keith-” He cuts himself off with a strangled moan and works a hand between them to take Keith’s erection in his hand, stroking slowly, but _god_ is it enough after being neglected for so long.

“ _Takashi_. I, I’m gonna…”

“Come on, baby.” Shiro purrs in his ear. “Come for me. Let go, I’ve got you.”

Keith chokes out Shiro’s name one more time and then he’s spilling between their stomachs. It’s been building for so long – god, they’ve been going for _so long_ – that Keith sobs when it washes over him, tears streaming down his face.

Shiro kisses his wet cheeks gently, clean hand – metal hand, cool against his hot face – wiping the moisture away carefully.

“Good boy.” Shiro murmurs, kissing him again. “Such a good boy for me. It’s okay, baby, I got you. I’m here, just let it all go,”

Keith takes a shuddering breath and cries out when Shiro bucks his hips up, feeling too sensitive but _so damn good_.

It doesn’t take much more for Shiro to finish, face buried in Keith’s neck and coming with a low groan. Keith shudders at the feeling and grips Shiro’s shoulders tightly, nails biting into his skin hard enough to leave little crescents.

“Takashi,” Keith chokes again, shoulders still shaking. He’s still crying and he has no idea why.

“Shh,” Shiro soothes, kissing Keith’s neck softly. “’S’okay, baby, I’m here. I’m right here, I’ve got you.” His arms wrap around Keith’s back, rubbing up and down slowly, and Keith continues to tremble in his arms. “Don’t worry, Keith, you’re okay. We’re okay. I’m here.”

Keith chokes on another sob rising in his throat and buries his face in Shiro’s neck again. “Don’t go.” He whispers brokenly.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Shiro murmurs, sliding down so they’re flat on the bed again, Keith still resting on Shiro’s chest.

“You left though.” Keith whispers. “Back at the Blade’s headquarters, in that hallway. You left me.” Idiot, why would you bring that up _now!?_ He came back, didn’t he!?

Shiro makes an angry sound in the back of his throat and tightens his grip on Keith, one hand cupping the back of his head protectively. “That wasn’t me.”

Keith blinks. “Huh?” He props himself up so he can look down at Shiro, blinking more to get the tears out of his eyes.

Shiro scowls. “According to Kolivan, the suit you were wearing could conjure up the wearer’s greatest hopes and fears.” He swallows and glances away from Keith. “And, well,”

“My biggest fear is you leaving again.” Keith murmurs.

“Yeah.” He looks back up at Keith and moves one hand to brush Keith’s bangs out of his face. “I would never have left you like that. I would have never said those things to you, Keith. I know how much you wanted answers. I could never blame you for that. I never would have left you there alone.”

Keith feels more tears well up and he curses, rubbing at his eyes. This needs to stop.

“Hey,” Shiro says gently, tugging his hand away from his face. “It’s okay to cry, Keith. I don’t know why you keep thinking it isn’t.”

“Sorry.” He mumbles, ducking his head. “It’s another one of those stupid conditioned responses from… from The Incident.”

Shiro’s jaw clenches. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bring anything up.”

Keith shakes his head and settles back down on Shiro’s chest, his ear pressed over the older man’s heart. “I’m okay. It’s another one of those things I’m getting over because of you. Superman strikes again.” He smiles when he feels Shiro’s laughter.

“Are you feeling better now?” Shiro asks, human hand petting through his hair slowly.

“Yeah.” He sighs. “I’m…still not too terribly thrilled with the discovery of my heritage, but I think I can safely say I’m not worried about you hating me anymore.”

“Good.” Shiro kisses the top of his head and then squirms around – much to Keith’s annoyance – so he can pull the sheets out from under them and pull them up and over so they’re covered. “Hey, Keith?”

“Hm?” Keith murmurs, nuzzling Shiro’s throat.

“I’m not ever going to leave you again.” Shiro says firmly, fingers tangling in Keith’s hair gently. “I promise you that.”

Keith smiles. “You’d better keep that promise, Shirogane.” He says, and then yawns.

“Okay, baby, you’ve had an extraordinarily long day. You should get some sleep.”

“Be here when I wake up?” Keith murmurs, eyes already slipping closed. Fuck, but he really is exhausted. What with the fighting, and the mind-fuckery, and the sex.

“Always.” Shiro murmurs.

Keith hums, the gentle sound of Shiro’s heartbeat lulling him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro's promise to never leave Keith is a lot less angsty now that we know he's okay, huh?  
> I am back to my regular updating schedule so I'll be back on Wednesday with Weblum and Beta Traz shenanigans. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch The Black Paladins for the fiftieth time. Have a good start to your week!
> 
> If I told you what I was,  
> Would you turn your back on me?  
> And if I seem dangerous,  
> Would you be scared?  
> I get the feeling just because  
> Everything I touch isn't dark enough  
> That this problem lies in me  
> \- Monster, Imagine Dragons


	19. Heavy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Traz, Weblum, and Stayin' Alive, with Keith's colorful commentary, Shiro's worrying, and a few quiet moments.

The next morning, Keith is awoken by gentle fingers combing through his hair. He sighs in contentment and turns to nuzzle into Shiro’s chest.

“Morning.” Shiro rasps, kissing the top of his head. “You sleep okay?”

Keith hums and kisses Shiro’s collarbone. “Better than most nights, that’s for damn sure. Thanks.” He sits up and groans, remembering they didn’t actually clean up last night so he knows he’s gonna feel gross-

But he doesn’t.

Keith glances down at his stomach, then up at Shiro. “When did you-?”

“You’ve always been a heavy sleeper.” Shiro hums and kisses him quickly before climbing out of bed.

“Only around you.” Keith says quietly, before standing as well.

They both dress and then venture out towards the dining hall, where the other paladins are sitting, eating breakfast. They all jump Keith when they see him.

“Dude! Are you okay?” Lance asks, gripping his shoulders. He then looks horrified and yanks his hands away. “Shit, sorry, can we touch you?”

Keith is vaguely startled, but nods slowly, and Lance’s hands are immediately gripping his shoulders again.

Pidge ducks between them to wrap her arms around Keith’s waist.

“I couldn’t hack the lock. We couldn’t make sure you were okay. Dammit Keith, I was so _worried-”_

Hunk grabs him from behind and hugs him so tightly he’s lifted off the floor a few inches. “Don’t be sad, Keith! We still love you, no matter what!”

“Yeah!” Lance says, and then _he’s_ hugging Keith. What sort of weird parallel reality is this!? “Who cares if you’re Galra? You’re still the same angsty grump we know and love!”

“Gee, thanks.” Keith grumbles, but allows the three of them to cling to him a while longer. He glances over at Shiro and finds him grinning like a fool and mouthing “I told you so”. Keith rolls his eyes. Dork.

Then Allura walks in and it gets weird.

She glances at Keith and then very pointedly ignores him, sitting down at the opposite end of the table.

Lance huffs next to his ear and pulls back, waving a hand dismissively.

“I mean, what kind of people would we be if we blamed you for something you can’t control, and didn’t even know about until yesterday? Boy, wouldn’t _that_ be douchey.”

“Yep.” Pidge pipes up, also moving back. “Why would we be angry at you for something so ridiculous as your _heritage?_ My god, that would be, like, _so_ racist, and narrowminded! We’d be morons to think in such stereotypical ways!”

“It wouldn’t be fair. Especially considering what you’ve already been through in your life.” Hunk says, surprising Keith. He figured the Yellow Paladin would stay out of the passive-aggressive posturing the other two are taking part in. He releases Keith as well and steps back to stand beside the other two, and Keith realizes that the other three paladins are acting as a living barrier between him and Allura. It’s…really touching, actually.

Allura is still ignoring the lot of them, but Keith can see, even from here, that the tips of her ears are flushed red.

Shiro’s human hand clamps down on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “See? The people who care about you, the people who _matter_ ,” he emphasizes, “don’t care in the least.”

Keith smiles and places his own hand over the one on his shoulder, and then looks at the three in front of him.

“Thank you.” He says quietly. And he means it.

~*~

After breakfast, they all suit up and meet in the control room, where they’ll concoct a plan with the Blade of Marmora.

It…takes a while. Hunk even falls asleep.

He snaps awake just as they’re putting the final details together.

“What!? What’d I miss!?”

“Oh, nothing important. We’ve just figured out a way to defeat Zarkon.” Lance says calmly, but he has a shit-eating grin on his face.

Hunk blinks. “Really? I doze for ten minutes and you guys figure out how to defeat the forces of evil?”

“You’ve been asleep for three hours.” Pidge says, exasperated.

Shiro is still talking it out with Kolivan and Allura, but he sounds…hopeful.

“As long as everyone sticks to the plan, it should work.” Allura says frostily.

“It _will_ work,” Kolivan says, clearly annoyed. “And then perhaps then you’ll learn that not all Galra are as bad as Zarkon.”

Keith can feel Allura’s eyes on him but he keeps his own gaze firmly fixed to the hologram of Zarkon’s ship.

“I hope not.” She says lowly, but still loud enough for him to hear.

_Don’t think about it. Just focus on the plan_. He tells himself. He can feel terrible about things out of his control later.

The big guy – Antok – gives them something resembling a _compliment_ , and then Lance demonstrates the plan for Hunk in a very…dramatic way.

Then they divvy up the tasks and Keith…is not going with Shiro. What. The fuck.

“Allura, I don’t think-” Shiro begins but she cuts him off.

“I said Keith will go with Hunk.” Her voice is sharp, and she doesn’t look at any of them.

“If this is your way of trying to _punish_ him-” Shiro growls, but Keith tugs him back.

“It’s okay.” He says quietly. “I’ll be fine with Hunk. At least she’s not sending me with just Lance or alone or something.”

“Hey!” Lance says indignantly. “I thought we were cool!”

“Yes, but we’ll still probably bicker because that’s just what we do and then we’ll never get anything done.”

Lance thinks about this for a moment. “That… is a fair point. Okay.”

“Keith, are you sure?” Shiro asks, cupping his face in one hand.

“Yeah, Takashi, I’m sure.” He presses their foreheads together and then lowers his voice.  “I don’t want to antagonize her any more than I apparently already have.”

He’s way more worried about the fact that Shiro is going to be going into a Galra prison which could bring up _so much_ bad shit. But if he says that, Shiro’s just going to wave him off and tell him not to worry about him. Stupid noble superman _asshole_.

Shiro makes a frustrated sound and then sighs. “Fine.”

They part ways in front of the Yellow Lion.

Shiro pulls him in for a fierce hug and then kisses him, going so far as to _dip him Shiro what the fuck._ He laughs against his boyfriend’s mouth as wild clapping comes from the other three paladins as well as a wolf-whistle from Lance.

“Can you please stop?” Keith giggles, pressing their foreheads together again as Shiro pulls them upright. “The last time you did that, I didn’t see you for fifteen months.”

“Sorry.” Shiro murmurs, and then kisses him again. “I promise it won’t be that long.”

“It had damn well better not be.” Keith teases, and then steps out of the circle of Shiro’s arms.

He glances up, and accidentally catches Allura’s eye. She looks away quickly, and Keith sighs. He and Hunk get in the lion, and then they are gone to find a Weblum.

Whatever the fuck _that_ is.

~*~

Apparently it is a cross between a giant-ass caterpillar and the creepy Ohm from _Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind_.

Hunk is getting nervous and asking him Galra-questions that he cannot _possibly_ answer. He knows Hunk’s just talking to fill the silence, and maybe trying to reassure him with the whole “Allura doesn’t hate you probably maybe”, but it would be great if he didn’t touch this particular topic, thanks.

Honestly, he likes Hunk, but the boy needs to chill. (That is _rich_ , coming from him but he ignores that fact.)

They find the Weblum, get nearly vaporized, and then they’re _inside_ the damn thing. Keith isn’t easily grossed out, but _eugh_.

Long story short, they get in, get separated, Keith randomly finds – and saves the life of – a Galra, they fight…things, Hunk gets farted out, and then they get the scaltrite. And the random Galra leaves. With scaltrite. Ugh.

But Hunk is the man of the hour and everything seems to be going all right. For the moment.

Keith just _knows_ he’s gonna regret thinking that.

~*~

Shiro is at his wit’s end, and they haven’t even gone inside the prison yet.

It’s bad enough he’s going back into a Galra prison – the last place he _ever_ wants to be again – but he keeps thinking about Keith. Wondering if he’s alright, if he’s still mentally in a good place. Shiro somewhat doubts it, knowing his boyfriend, but he can hope. And besides, he’s with Hunk. If Shiro wasn’t allowed to be with him, at least it was Hunk who went in his stead. He’d keep an eye on their Red Paladin.

So, seeing as his nerves are already shot by the time they get there, it’s no surprise – at least to himself – that he wants this done as soon as possible. Pidge nearly flying off into space doesn’t help his mental state. Slav really doesn’t help, either. At all.

Shiro tries – really, he does – to be accommodating and courteous, but every five steps, the alien genius finds something new to jump at, and they keep being held up, and Shiro just wants to get _out of here_ , away from the cloying feeling in his throat like he’s about to be thrown back into the ring, and he wants to get back to Keith. Keith, who is safe and wonderful and perfect and _hurting so badly_.

Shiro just wants to leave, and Slav is making that very, very difficult.

But, finally, they do make it out.

“So what now?” Lance asks.

“Let’s call Allura and tell her we have Slav and that we’re ready for her to use the teludav.”

“You didn’t say we’d be traveling by teludav!” Slav exclaims, and Shiro, who is still fighting down flashbacks and the urge to call Keith, snaps.

“What’s the problem!? We’re travelling by teludav! So just count your hair follicles, or fluff a pillow, or whatever you need to do to make sure we survive the wormhole trip _in this reality!_ ”

The other three all stare at him in silent shock before Slav taps his fingers together sheepishly. “I was just going to point out that teludav is a very efficient form of travel.”

And then Allura calls them. Keith’s right, they never can catch a break, can they?

~*~

“Are you trying to see if my skin is purple?” Keith asks in disbelief.

“Nooo?” Hunk says at length, still glancing at Keith’s face.

Oh god.

And then the princess calls them.

Dammit, he fucking _knew_ it.

~*~

They have to fight the fucking laser-light-show ro-beast again, and Keith is so not happy. _Fuck_ this guy, seriously. He can tell Shiro is on the edge of his sanity and all Keith wants to do is wrap this up so he can drag his boyfriend to their room and figure out what happened, but _no. No, he has to fight a fucking Galra machine!_

Keith is so not in a good mood.

Then the Yellow Lion is plunging towards the surface of the Balmera because apparently Lance doesn’t grasp the concept of a _distraction_ …

And then for the second time in recent memory, the lion he’s in is being carried by the Black Lion.

“Impeccable timing as usual, superman.” He laughs breathlessly.

“Are the two of you okay?” Shiro asks, frantic.

“We’re good.”

Then he has to get over to the castle, nearly gets _shot in open space_ and then Red saves him. Again. This is becoming a habit of hers.

“Good girl. Now let’s go cover Hunk’s ass.”

Then they fight the thing, form Voltron, and kill it for good.

And Allura is still ignoring him. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Hunk, _thank you_ for getting the scaltrite.”

“No problem!” The Yellow Paladin says cheerfully. Then frowns and looks at Keith. “You know, Keith was there too.”

 Allura turns to look at him with a cold gaze, and Keith just looks back. Fuck, he’s just…so tired.

Then she turns and walks away.

Shiro makes a low, dangerous sound in the back of his throat, but Keith stops him by leaning back against his chest, forcing Shiro to take his weight.

“Don’t worry about it, Shiro.” He murmurs.

“We’re all worried about it, you ass.” Lance tells him, knocking his open palm lightly against Keith’s helmet. “No one treats our buddy like that.”

“Yeah.” Pidge sneers in Allura’s direction. “The _princess_ can kiss your ass. You’ve done just as much for the universe as anyone here. We all know you deserve better.”

Keith smiles slightly and turns his face towards Shiro’s chest so none of them can see his eyes get wet.

“Thanks, you guys.”

“We all care about you, Keith.” Shiro murmurs. “And we’ll defend you, always.”

Hunk sniffs, and then throws his arms around Keith and Shiro. “Aw, you guys!”

“Group hug!” Lance crows, and then he and Pidge wrap themselves up in the huddle as well.

Keith laughs, and feels…warm.

~*~

As soon as the others let them go, he shoves Shiro into their room and presses him against the wall.

“Okay, what the hell happened at that stupid prison?” He snaps, and Shiro blinks down at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

Keith sighs in aggravation and lets his head fall onto Shiro’s shoulder.

“Takashi, you sounded panicky that entire fight. More so than usual. I know something happened.”

Shiro is quiet for a long moment before wrapping his arms around Keith and burying his face in the Red Paladin’s hair.

“It reminded me too much of _my_ prison.” He murmurs. “I kept thinking that… that I was going to be grabbed and tossed into the ring any minute. It didn’t help that I was worrying about you and wanted to get back to you as soon as possible and Slav kept delaying us and, I kinda lost it a bit.”

Keith groans in aggravation. “I knew it was a terrible fucking idea to send you to the prison.” He mutters.

“I’m better now that I’m back, and that you’re safe.” Shiro says quietly, kissing the top of his head.

“Yeah?” Keith tilts his head back, eyeing his boyfriend cautiously.

Shiro smiles at him and kisses his forehead, then the tip of his nose, then his lips. “Yeah.” He tugs Keith a little closer and presses his cheek to the top of Keith’s head. “Just let me hold you a little longer.”

Keith sighs and closes his eyes, relaxing into Shiro’s hold. “As long as you want.” He murmurs.

~*~

Several hours later, the paladins are all standing around in another close huddle, this time on Olkarion.

Shiro looks down at the construction of the teludav. “We’ve come a long way.” He says quietly.

“Yeah, remember how Hunk used to throw up riding in the elevator?” Lance snickers.

Hunk glares at his best friend, and then smiles. “You guys remember that Arusian, Klyzap, I think his name was? Cool name.”

“Yeah, Keith tried to beat him up even though he was the size of a peanut.” The Blue Paladin huffs.

Keith turns to glare at the other boy. “He was their bravest warrior!” he says in his own defense. Then he smirks. “Remember when you guys first found out Shiro and I are dating?”

Lance makes a face. “Dude, that altered my world view a little.”

“Yeah!” Hunk says, nodding. “It was, like, as eye-opening as learning aliens exist!”

Pidge grins. “I thought it was super obvious.” And then she offers “How about the time the food goo machines attacked us in the kitchen?”

Hunk shudders. “That is _the_ scariest thing that has happened to me the entire time I’ve been here.”

“Oh come on!” Lance exclaims.

“It’s the truth!”

“We faced sentries, a haunted castle, giant ro-beasts, a mall security guard…”

“Zarkon himself…” Keith mutters quietly.

Pidge jumps up. “And don’t forget that cool cube thing!”

“Yeah, and that _awful_ cube thing.” Lance corrects.

“You realize, once we defeat Zarkon,” Shiro says slowly, turning to face them all, “the universe won’t need Voltron anymore.”

Silence. Then…

“We could return to Earth.” Lance says quietly.

“I can look for my family.” Pidge murmurs.

Keith sighs. “I guess, I could look for mine.”

Shiro smiles and laces their fingers together. “I’d go with you.”

“You’re damn right you would. I’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of your life.” He grumbles, but tightens his fingers around Shiro’s.

Shiro sighs and looks back out at the teludav. “This is it. As long as it all goes according to plan. We can’t fail.”

“Then we won’t.” Keith says simply. Then he looks around at the other three. “…Another group hug?” he ventures, and they all look at him in shock, even Shiro.

“You…want us to hug you?” Pidge asks.

Keith rolls his eyes. “We’re all gonna be hugging each other. That’s the point of a group hug, right? So, come on.”

He is suddenly swarmed, and then everyone is laughing, and he’s pressed tight against the others, against _Shiro_ , and for one brief moment, he forgets about everything else, and just enjoys the feeling of being a part of such a weird, crazy, _wonderful_ group of people.

~*~

That night, in their room on Olkarion, Keith can’t sleep. He sighs and turns over, towards Shiro, only to see the other man already staring back at him.

“You can’t sleep either, huh?” he says quietly, brushing Keith’s bangs out of his face.

“Nope.” He sighs and presses his forehead against Shiro’s. “Tomorrow is gonna be a bitch, even if everything goes better than we hope. I just…can’t get my brain to shut up.”

“Same here.” Shiro sighs.

“Well,” Keith says contemplatively, grinning at his boyfriend. “There’s always _one_ thing that makes me stop thinking…”

Shiro laughs and pulls him closer. “Now how did I know you were gonna say something like that?”

“I guess you just know me too well.” Keith hums, and then he kisses Shiro, and they _do_ stop thinking about anything except the feel of each other.

But then, hours later, after Shiro has fallen asleep, curled around Keith…he still can’t shake the feeling that’s been creeping up on him ever since they came up with this plan.

He doesn’t know what, but he just _knows_ : something is going to happen tomorrow. Something very, very bad.

And Keith was always right about those bad feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter has Shiro disappearing (freaking dying ugh) and that's gonna go well for everyone involved. Especially Keith. Such fun.   
> See ya'll on Sunday for that angst train!
> 
> I know I'm not the center of the universe  
> But you keep spinning round me just the same  
> I know I'm not the center of the universe  
> But you keep spinning round me just the same  
> I'm holding on  
> Why is everything so heavy?  
> Holding on  
> To so much more than I can carry  
> I keep dragging around what's bringing me down  
> If I just let go, I'd be set free  
> Holding on  
> Why is everything so heavy?  
> \- Heavy, Linkin Park, Kiiara


	20. Champion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Here's the Big Battle against Zarkon with Keith's snark, Shiro being vaporized, and Keith having a meltdown over it!

The next day, it’s time to put their plan into action. Keith hugs Shiro within an inch of his life down in the Black Lion’s hangar and kisses him for all he’s worth.

“Don’t die, Shirogane, or I’m gonna be pissed.” Keith murmurs.

Shiro huffs a laugh and kisses him again. “Yes sir.”

Shiro departs, and they hear from him a while later. Zarkon’s command ship is on its way to them, but of course, something goes wrong. Apparently, the Blade’s inside man – Thace – had been… indisposed in some manner.

Allura demands they keep going ahead with the plan, but the two Blades don’t seem so sure.

“Your caution is the reason Zarkon is still in power.” She snaps angrily.

Kolivan turns to face her. “We would rather wait then jeopardize everything. Besides, it’s too late to get someone else on the inside.”

Keith sighs, regrets many of his life decisions, and stands up. “I’ll do it.”

“What?” Allura gapes at him.

“I’ll sneak onto Zarkon’s ship. I’m Galra, so I’ll be able to interact with their technology.” He glances over at Pidge. “Pidge, you can rig up one of those pods with a cloaking device, right?”

She is staring at him, a little stunned. “Well, yeah-”

“Going into Zarkon’s ship is a suicide mission.” Kolivan says harshly. “I would never command someone so inexperienced to go on a mission so dangerous.”

“No one’s _commanding_ me. I’m doing it.” Keith says as evenly as he can manage.

Allura glares at him but he ignores it. Over the comm, Shiro sighs in defeat.

“Pidge, get that pod ready. Keith,” he pauses for a moment, “Let me know when you’re on your way. I’ll give you cover.”

“Will do.”

“And…for god’s sake, be careful. I don’t plan on losing anyone today. Especially not you.”

Keith smirks. “Don’t worry, Takashi. I know what I’m doing.”

~*~

Pidge loads up the cloaking device for Keith, and Allura steps into the hangar.

“Pidge.” She says, face a blank mask. “Can I have a moment with Keith, please.”

Pidge glares at the princess, and then glances up at Keith.

“Go on.” He says quietly.

The Green Paladin glances between them for a moment, and then shrugs. “Sure thing, have all the moments you like.”

When the bay door closes behind her, Allura walks up to him, and Keith tenses. She notices and stops several steps away.

“Is there something I can help you with?” He asks drily.

“I-I just wanted to say… the Galra, they’ve done… terrible things. Destroyed entire civilizations. They took my family. But in time, I’ve grown to consider you and the paladins my family. So when I learned you were Galra, I…” She hesitates, and Keith is about to tell her to drop it, when she continues. “I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to hate you.”

Keith sighs, staring down at the floor. “Allura, it’s-”

“But it’s not you.” Allura says vehemently. “It’s me. My anger has blinded me for too long.” Then, she’s… hugging him? More like she kind of just falls against his chest, so he can easily push her away if he’s uncomfortable. He very hesitantly raises his hands and places them lightly on her back.

“I’m so sorry I misjudged you. After everything you’ve already been through…you know better than most how dark and cruel the universe can be. I should have known you could never be like them. You’ve proven it’s not what’s in your blood, it’s who you _are_ that counts. Please, come back to us.”

“I will.” He says quietly.

She pulls away and wipes at her eyes. “I know you won’t forgive me for a long time, if ever, and I understand. I… I know I need to do a lot to earn your trust. We all do. And I promise you, I’ll do what I can to prove to you that I am worthy of it.”

Keith nods. He’s not sure what he can actually _say_ to that. But the princess seems to be satisfied with that, and before Keith finishes climbing into the pod, she’s gone.

~*~

Shiro informs them of the command ship’s arrival, and then it’s show time.

“I’ve got Zarkon on the hook, bringing him your way. Keith, you ready? We’ve only got one shot at this.”

“Engaging cloaking device, moving towards the fleet now. Hey, you be careful too, okay?”

Shiro laughs. “I will, baby. I don’t see you, but I’m locked onto your signal. I’ll clear a path.”

A few moments later, Keith crashes into Zarkon’s ship with a bang. Whoops. At least he managed to take out some sentries.

He works his way through the halls, Kolivan and Antok talking in his ear as he goes. He finds the central hub, but when he tries to input the code, it denies him. Fucking great, they changed the fucking codes. Joy of joys.

Then in walks an injured Galra, then two druids, and then the druids are dead as fuck and Keith is looking at the Galra.

“Thace? I’m Keith. A paladin of Voltron.”

Thace glances down at the blade in his hand. Not his bayard; his awakened Marmora blade.

“And a fellow Blade, I see. I guess we haven’t failed.”

“Not yet.” Keith sighs.

Lance asks him for an update a few moments later. Apparently, the other paladins are getting swarmed.

“The Galra switched the codes. We’re trying a work-around.”

“We? Who’s we?”

“Thace. I found him. I’ll explain later.”

“Copy that.” Shiro sounds like he’s gritting his teeth. They’d better hurry.

It would seem that the work around includes explosives. Keith is... surprisingly not okay with that, considering it means they’ll be blown the hell up along with the room.

Although Thace then tells him there’s a backdoor out, so he’s once again okay with a loud explosion.

…he might like explosions a little more than he should, if he’s being honest. Seems like this Thace guy and him could get along great. Or they would have, except for now another member of the Blade of Marmora has sacrificed their life for Voltron. Keith grits his teeth as he jumps.

Never again.

~*~

He’s getting really tired of getting sucked out into open space, seriously.

Good thing Red’s always there to pick him up.

Keith breathes a sigh of relief (almost) when he flies over to join the other lions. They did it. Zarkon’s through the wormhole, and Allura didn’t die. Now all they have to do is finally kill the son of a bitch.

Easier said than done.

The ship is offline which means it can’t shoot at them, which is fucking awesome, but how the hell are they gonna take that entire thing down in the few minutes they have? Hypothetically they only need to hit four points, but Keith knows their plans never work like they’re meant to.

A few minutes later, as the ship explodes in various places, Keith reevaluates. They’re ripping through the ship and have hit loads of weak points. Maybe, for once, things will work out?

…hahaha, _nope_.

A huge giant ball of purple-black energy forms beneath them, and promptly smashes into them with a wave of the druid lightning. It seems to be sapping them all of their energy, no, their _quintessence._

Keith blacks out.

He wakes to Allura’s frantic voice, begging to know if they’re alive.

“Yes, princess,” Shiro’s voice comes weakly over the comm. “We’re alive.”

“Oh, thank the ancients.” Coran sighs.

“Is Voltron operational?” Allura asks.

Hunk sighs over the comm. “It’s not working.”

Keith grabs for the controls and tries to move Red, but she isn’t responding. Not even to give him a mental nudge. That… that is very worrying. “I can’t move my lion.” He reports.

“You’ve been hit with some kind of witchcraft that draws the quintessence out of you.” Coran says. Yeah, no _duh_. “You need to get out of there. Another blast like that and you may not survive.”

Then Lance points out the goddamn ro-beast hurtling right towards them. And they’re sitting ducks. This situation is only made better when Shiro oh so helpfully informs them that it’s Zarkon in the frankly scary suit of armor. They… they might actually be screwed here.

And then Allura, dammit all, swoops in with the castle to buy them time… and…

“Oh my god.” He’s not sure who says it. Hell, it might have been him, but they’re all thinking the same thing. The castle is dead. And…Allura, Coran, Kolivan and Antok, Slav…

So are they.

Dead silence for a long moment, then Shiro, voice holding that edge of rage, speaks. “Everybody, listen. We have to fight. We have to channel all our energy, visualize five becoming one. We have to focus everything we have into moving Voltron.”

Keith closes his eyes, breathes, focuses on the feel of his lion, and the cadence of Shiro’s voice.

“We are the last thing standing in the way of Zarkon’s total universal domination,” Shiro continues, “I’m not giving up that fight. Are you, Hunk?”

“No.” Hunk says, steady as Keith’s ever heard him, and he feels Yellow come online.

“Pidge?”

“Never!” Green comes online.

“Lance?”

“Let’s go down swingin’.” Blue comes online.

Shiro’s voice lowers. “Keith?”

“I’m all in, Takashi.” Red comes alive beneath his fingers.

“Then let’s get Voltron back in this battle.” And Black roars to life.

They form the sword just as Zarkon rams into them.

They manage to match Zarkon blow for blow, for a while. Hunk nails him with the shoulder cannon, which he blocks, ugh, and they almost get hit with the soul-sucking purple magic again, and then Zarkon punts them across open space while they’re distracted.

Every time they start doing well against Zarkon, they have to dodge another blast from (he guesses) the witch, and it’s starting to get extremely annoying.

It’s several intense moments after the last blast, after dodging Zarkon’s ridiculous array of weapons, that Keith vaguely notes that for some reason, the black energy that had been gathering for the next attack stops.

Shiro suddenly cries out. “He’s trying to control my lion. I can feel him in my mind…!”

“Fight it, Shiro!” He says and uses Red to push them away from Zarkon’s grip, before streaking back and ramming the sword through…but then they get pushed back with a chain, which electrocutes them, and forces Voltron apart.

“Shiro? Shiro!” Keith calls, when the Black Lion doesn’t move.

He grits his teeth. No. No, he’s not letting this happen to Shio again. “Something’s wrong with Shiro. Guys, we can’t let Zarkon get the Black Lion.”

They do what they can, but they’re nowhere near enough to stand up to Zarkon’s armor like this, in just the lions. They’re getting destroyed.

But then, as the lightning chain smashes into Red’s side, causing Keith to cry out as sparks light up her cockpit, he sees the Black Lion streaking towards them, with wings… _wings_ extended. Holy shit.

The lion passes right through the armor, and they can all hear Shiro panting.

“Whoa, what did you do?” Lance asks.

“I’ve got Zarkon’s bayard.” Shiro says breathlessly.

Keith smiles. “You mean you’ve got _your_ bayard.”

“We’ve only got a few minutes left before power returns to Zarkon’s ship.” Shiro grits out. “Form Voltron!”

They do, and now it seems is the time for the last stand.

While they’re busy colliding with Zarkon, the castle’s comms crackle back online. Everyone is alive after all.

Maybe they’ll all make it. Maybe for once things will end okay.

“This is our last chance! Let’s finish this!” Shiro says, and they all put in every ounce of will into one last clash.

The sword is jammed into the armor, but…Zarkon claps the hands around Voltron’s head, _where Shiro is,_ and pours a hell of a lot of purple lightning into it.

“Shiro!” Keith yells, but there’s nothing he can do from here. Suddenly, the sword is _on fire_ and Keith pulls it out, before cutting Zarkon right down the middle. There is an explosion, and Keith blacks out again.

When he wakes, he sees the wreckage of Zarkon’s armor. Holy fuck, they did it.

“I have Allura and Kolivan. We need to go.” Coran says, and they all speed towards the castle. Keith sees something out of the corner of his eye and turns to see the Black lion still inert.

“Shiro!”

“We need to tow him back onto the ship!” Pidge calls, and together they support the prone lion between them and get it onto the ship. Keith tries to raise Shiro on the comm, to no avail. His jaw clenches.

As soon as they’re clear, Keith jumps out of Red and sprints towards Black, tearing his helmet off as he goes.

“Shiro! _Shiro!”_

The door to the cockpit slides open. Everything is silent aside from his own ragged breathing.

“Shiro?”

Keith peers over the pilot’s chair and freezes, not registering the others behind him.

Everything is right where it should be. Nothing is out of place. The black bayard is still housed in its slot.

But Shiro is gone. It’s like he just vanished.

“He’s gone.” Lance says quietly to his right, and just like that, Keith shatters.

 _“No.”_ he breathes and backs out of the cockpit. “No, no, nononononono…”

“Keith?” Pidge asks quietly, but he doesn’t hear.

“ _No_ , no not again Shiro you _promised…!”_ He collapses to the floor, legs no longer able to hold him up.

Someone shouts, and the others are suddenly all around him, but all he can register are bright smudges of color. His eyes are blurry, and all he can do is stare at the floor, hands gripping his hair. _No._

It seems to be all he can say, and the more he says it, the weaker his voice sounds. He can’t breathe. _He can’t breathe._ Shiro took everything again, and this time he didn’t even leave Keith in one piece.

“What’s happening?” Allura.

“I think he’s having a panic attack!” Hunk.

“What is that!? Is it dangerous!?” Coran.

“It can be, especially if he doesn’t start _breathing.”_ Pidge.

“We need to do something!” Lance.

“But _what?_ Shiro’s the one who can calm Keith down and he’s gone!” Pidge.

Keith hears them but can’t react. He’s somewhere else entirely, and he doesn’t know if he can ever come back.

“Keith. Keith, can you hear me?” Lance. Closer than before. “Hey, I know you’re scared for him, that it’s Kerberos all over again, but dude, he can’t be dead, okay? Think about this. He can’t be dead, because _there’s no body._ Okay? If he were dead, his body would still be in there.”

“Lance I don’t think…” Hunk.

“Shh! Look it’s working!” Pidge.

Keith’s lungs haul in a shaky breath. Lance has a point. Shiro’s body isn’t in there, so he can’t be dead. He’s out there somewhere. Alive.

 _But still not here._ A small voice wails in the back of his mind.

“Hey, look at me.”

Keith glances up, and Lance is right in front of him, one hand gripping his shoulder. He hadn’t even felt the contact.

“He’s gone, there’s no sugar-coating that, but dude, this isn’t like last time. You’re out here with him, okay? You’re a Paladin of Voltron, and most importantly, you’re not alone like before. We’re with you, and we will do everything we can to find him and bring him home, so you can kick his ass for scaring you like this again, okay?”

Keith tries to reply, but the words are still stuck.

“Keith, we will find him. I promise.” Lance says firmly.

“Yeah, I’m already looking for two members of my family, what’s one more?” Pidge sits down on his left and presses her cheek to his shoulder.

“We all want to find him. None of us want to see you like this, man. It’ll be okay.” Hunk sits down on his other side and gives him a one-armed hug.

“Keith, we will do everything in our power to find Shiro. Please don’t cry.” Allura crouches down next to Lance and wipes a tear from his cheek. Dammit, when did he start crying?

A hand settles in his hair, and he glances up to see Coran, smiling softly. “You aren’t alone in this. We are with you.”

Keith takes a ragged breath, and then another, fueled by his team’s constant assurances and touches. He’s not used to this, but their hands on him are calming him down in a way that only Shiro has ever managed before. It’s _not_ Shiro, but… it’s close enough for now.

Finally, he finds his words.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is awful. Poor Keith. Poor Shiro trapped in the lion. Everything sucks.  
> But we know he gets him back so it's not all doom and gloom right? Right!?  
> No, it's still angst. Next chapter will include the other castle inhabitants trying to keep Keith from going catatonic like he did the first time Shiro disappeared, with limited success. Have a good week!
> 
> And I'm back with a madness  
> I'm a champion of the people who don't believe in champions  
> I got nothing but dreams inside, I got nothing but dreams  
> I'm just young enough to still believe, still believe  
> But young enough not to know what to believe in  
> Young enough not to know what to believe in, yeah  
> If I can live through this…  
> I can do anything  
> \- Champion, Fall Out Boy  
> (But you didn't live through it, did you Shiro!?)


	21. Capsize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th to those of you who celebrate it! Have some concerned Paladins and Alteans trying to help Keith not be catatonic or hurt himself.

The paladins have a mission, their toughest one yet. Something that seems like it might be an impossible feat, but failure is _not_ an option, no matter the cost: keep Keith alive.

It would seem to anyone else that this is a silly notion, the Red Paladin seems, well, fine isn’t the right word, but, functional at least. Well, the other inhabitants of the Castle of Lions know better. Keith is slowly falling apart. This must have been what it was like when he was self-exiled out in the desert, waiting for Shiro to come home, without knowing he was waiting.

Keith is doing everything in his power to self-destruct, but the others aren’t going to let him. They have to keep him alive, until Shiro comes home. They aren’t going to let their leader down, no matter where he might be.

~*~

“Keith? Is there something wrong with your food?” Hunk asks, glancing across the table at the Red Paladin.

“There’s nothing wrong.” Keith says quietly, continuing to poke at his food. “’M just not hungry.”

Hunk frowns. He hasn’t seen Keith eat _anything_ in a couple days now. It’s been a week since Shiro’s disappearance, and Keith has been despondent the whole time. It’s taken a lot from all of them just to get him out of bed in the morning (he’s staying in the room Coran first assigned to him, says he can’t bear to be in his and Shiro’s room now).

After another minute or two, Keith pushes himself away from the table and heads for the door. “I’ll be in the training room.”

Hunk sighs and looks at Keith’s untouched plate forlornly. “There’s gotta be something I can make that will get him to eat.” He mutters to himself. He looks over at Pidge who, along with Lance, are still looking worriedly at the door where Keith disappeared.

“Pidge, hey, did Shiro ever mention anything about Keith and food? Or maybe your brother did?”

Pidge looks over at him, then frowns. “Now that you mention it, I remember one time they were talking about bento.”

Lance’s face scrunches. “Huh?”

“Bento are Japanese box lunches.” Hunk says. “What about bento?”

“Well, Shiro’s mom was always making them for Shiro, and apparently for Keith too. Matt was jealous she wouldn’t make any for him.”

Hunk nods, an idea forming. “I think… I can work with that.”

~*~

“Hunk, what am I doing here?” Keith asks as Hunk drags him into the kitchen.

“Sit.” He says, nodding towards a chair.

Keith raises an eyebrow but sits dutifully.

“I’m getting everyone’s opinion on this new dish I’m trying out. Here,”

Hunk turns and picks up the dish and sets it in front of Keith, holding his breath as the Red Paladin inspects it.

Hunk had tried his best to recreate what he knew of bento. The “rice” was actually really close in flavor and texture, even if it was a brilliant shade of purple. He’d asked Allura what fish he could use, and she pointed him to one with six eyes and glimmering golden scales, but the flavor was rich and would do well as a replacement for salmon. The “broccoli” looked more like shredded cabbage and tasted more like squash, but at least it was green. The eggs were huge but looked and tasted roughly the same as chicken eggs. The pickled plum was the hardest part. He eventually settled on a fruit that tasted and looked vaguely mango-y and had found the Altean equivalent of vinegar and managed to pickle it himself.

Keith blinks down at the square dish in front of him (unfortunately there was nothing even remotely close to a bento box, so Hunk had had to simplify). “…This is…” Keith murmurs quietly.

“What?” Hunk asks, acting like he has absolutely no idea what Keith is taking about.

“Nothing. …You don’t have chopsticks by any chance, do you?”

Hunk grins and hands Keith two metal rods that he had appropriated from his toolkit (he washed them! He thinks they were meant for cleaning out small spaces).

Keith takes them with a hint of a smile on his face, then positions them in his hand and takes a bite.

“Well? How is it?” Hunk asks after a moment of silence.

“It’s really good, Hunk.” Keith mumbles around a mouthful of not-rice and not-salmon. He swallows and looks up at Hunk. “It’s… really, really good.”

Hunk beams. “I’m so glad you like it!”

“Yeah.” Keith whispers, and takes another bite. Then his eyes start to water.

“Keith?” Hunk asks, alarmed.

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry, it’s just,” He wipes at his eyes. “It just reminds me of home.”

The Yellow Paladin hesitates, then nods. “I see.”

Everyone in the castle knows that Keith’s “home” is Shiro.

“Thanks, Hunk.” Keith says, smiling up at him slightly, then continues to eat.

~*~

Allura finds herself pacing in the hallway outside the Paladins’ quarters when she knows full well she should be in bed. She pauses, glances down the hall, then shakes her head and keeps pacing.

She wants to talk to Keith. She wants him to understand that she knows what it’s like to lose the most important person to you, twice over. She wants him to know he is not alone, and that he can talk to her. But she can’t talk to Keith.

She doesn’t have the right.

Not after the terrible way she treated him after she found out he had Galra heritage. She still can’t believe she had been that closed-minded. She had known Keith was a good Paladin, a good _man_ , and she had known how much people had already mistreated him in his short life, and yet she had done the same without thinking. The other Paladins had been right to be angry with her.

But Keith hadn’t been, because he thought he’d deserved it. And would have kept believing that, had it not been for Shiro.

Keith needs Shiro, and Allura has been doing _everything_ she can think of to try and find their Black Paladin. But so far, she has not been successful. Maybe, if she _does_ find Shiro… maybe she can bear to look Keith in the eye again. Maybe then, she could start to earn forgiveness. Until then… it is best if she leaves the Red Paladin alone.

The mice sit in the shadow of the hall, watching their princess pace with sad eyes, then they look down the hall towards where they can hear the Red Paladin crying in his sleep, again, and their worry grows.

~*~

Lance… is not sure what to do.

He had been headed to bed when he happened to pass the room Keith was staying in… and he heard crying. Like, heart-rending sobs.

The Blue Paladin halts, and stares at Keith’s door in uncertainty. That’s definitely Keith crying, no doubt. But what the hell should Lance do about it? He doen’t know how to handle Keith! And he doubts the guy would want him seeing him in such a vulnerable state. It would probably humiliate the Red Paladin to no end, and Lance really doen’t want that. Keith is feeling shitty enough as it is.

So, Lance does nothing. He keeps walking down the hallway towards his own room, trying to pretend he hadn’t heard anything, and trying to ignore the terrible feeling in his stomach.

A scream wakes him several hours later.

Lance bolts upright at the sound and falls out of his bed in a tangle of sheets. What the-?

The scream comes again, hoarse, anguished, and this time, Lance can hear what the person is saying.

_“Shiro!”_

Lance jumps up and runs out of the room, bolting down the hall towards Keith’s door.

“Keith?” He calls, knocking frantically, but all he gets is another scream, wordless this time, and the sound of something falling.

“Keith!” Lance slams his hand down on the door controls and forces his way inside.

Keith is laying on his bed, writing as though in immense agony. Blankets twisted around his legs and hands clenched in the sheets by his sides. He’s still asleep.

“Keith! Hey, hey,” Lance darts over to the bed and lands on his knees, patting at Keith’s face. “Dude, come on, it’s okay, hey!” Lance can see tears streaming down Keith’s face, and the Red Paladin chokes on a sob.

“Keith, come on now, wake up, está bien, amigo, es sólo un sueño, está bien, estoy aquí, tú no estás solo...”

Lance didn’t even notice he’d slipped into Spanish until Keith jerked, eyes snapping open, gasping raggedly.

“Está bien, Keith, solo respira conmigo. Agradable y fácil, eso es todo.” Lance says quietly, hand settling on Keith’s shoulder.

“Lance?” Keith croaks.

“Hey, man. Feeling better?”

Keith exhales sharply and sits up, arms shaking where they’re supporting his weight. “I’m… awake. You speak Spanish?”

Lance blinks. “Uh, yeah. It’s pretty much my first language.”

Keith snorts. “No wonder you say stupid shit all the time then.”

“Hey!”

Keith smirks, then his brow furrows. “What are you doing in here?”

Lance rubs the back of his neck. “I, ah, heard you screaming. For Shiro.”

Keith looks away. “Fuck, so I have been screaming.” He mutters. “Out in the desert it didn’t matter, there was no one around. Sorry for waking you.”

Lance shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, dude. I’m just glad I woke you up. Are you alright?” Lance winces as soon as he says it. “Shit, no of course you’re not alright, but are you at least better than you were a minute ago?”

Keith smiles ruefully. “Yeah, I’m better. Thanks for, you know.” He gestures between them.

“Yeah, no problem.”

It keeps happening after that. It would seem once Lance had an ear for it, he couldn’t _not_ hear Keith screaming at night.

He doen’t mind. It’s good to be able to actually _do_ something for Keith, instead of just watching helplessly as the other man tears himself apart. For once, Lance doen’t feel useless around the Red Paladin. He’s able to help.

Lance has established that speaking in Spanish is the best way to calm Keith down once he’s woken up, so that’s what he does, just murmurs quietly in his mother’s language until Keith’s breathing evens out and his hands stop shaking.

“Shiro would do this for me.” Keith says one night, cutting Lance off.

“Do what?”

“Talk to me. At first, he’d only speak Japanese. He figured out before I did that it was hearing English words that weren’t helping. I can’t really understand words when I first wake up, just the cadence. If he was talking in English, it would make me think for a moment I was still in… in _that place_. But when he spoke in Japanese, I would recognize it as something different, something that didn’t match my memories of that time, and it would be easier to bring me out of it.”

Ah. “That’s why you respond quicker when I speak Spanish?”

Keith nods. “Eventually, he started just talking in English, because at that point, it wasn’t the fact that I was hearing a different language that brought me out of it, it was the fact that I was hearing _his voice_. I knew that it was Shiro, and I knew I was safe.”

Keith closes his eyes and exhales in a shaky sigh. “I always knew I was safe with Shiro.”

Lance clenches his jaw and covers Keith’s wrist. He knows better than to grab his hand, now. “I swear to God, Keith, we’re gonna find him.”

Keith smiles slightly. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance blinks. “For?”

“This. You’re a good friend.”

The Blue Paladin short circuits briefly. “We’re friends?”

Keith snorts, but nods. “Yeah, we are.”

Lance beams. “Well, then. Anytime, buddy.”

~*~

Coran isn’t typically one to meddle in the affairs of the Paladins. He knows that they need to figure things out for themselves. He will certainly lend a hand if he’s required, but mostly his job revolves around what it always has: keeping an eye on Allura. She has always been prone to overexerting herself, and Coran will always be the one to get her to take a step back and get some rest. That has been his duty from the moment the princess had been old enough to walk. She never knows when to slow down.

Although now, there’s someone else in the Castle of Lions who doesn’t know how to slow down. Coran had noticed that about Keith very soon after meeting the young human, but of course, he had never bothered to worry about it. After all, there was already someone there to slow the Red Paladin down.

But now, Shiro is gone, and Keith is running himself into the ground unchecked. And Coran knows, it’s mostly _because_ of the Black Paladin’s absence that Keith is exhausting himself. He didn’t want to feel the pain of that loss. Alfor had done the same, after the queen had died.

And, like Alfor and Allura, Keith would not respond well to direct confrontation of this issue. Shiro could get away with it, but only because it was Shiro. Coran knew that if he wanted to aid the Red Paladin, he would need to take a much more subtle approach.

“Coran!”

Coran glances up to see the Red Paladin storming onto the bridge, looking rather cross.

“Yes, Number Four?”

“The door to the training deck won’t open. What’s going on?”

“Ah! My apologies, Keith. The training deck will be closed off for the next seventy-five vargas while the Flumar pumps clean the gunk out of the Yetrine oscillator.”

Keith’s brow furrowed. “O… kay.” Clearly Keith had no idea what he was talking about.

Neither did Coran, he made both those words up. Not that the Paladin would ever know that. In truth he had locked the training deck so the Red Paladin couldn’t work himself into exhaustion, again. He was starting to look sickly pale, aside from the dark bruises under his eyes. He needed a break.

“Well, what am I supposed to do then?” Keith grumbles to himself.

“Well, I suppose you could help me clean the crystal. I think you’ll enjoy it! It sings when it’s happy!”

Keith blinks rapidly, then nods. “Yeah, okay. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

So Coran and Keith spend the afternoon cleaning the crystal, and the Red Paladin slowly relaxes with the repetitive work, as Coran had hoped he would.

Coran doesn’t typically meddle in the affairs of Paladins, except when they need him.

~*~

Pidge frowns, looking around the training room. Lance and Hunk are stretching in the corner in preparation to spar after their target practice, and Allura is in the control booth with Coran.

“Where’d Keith go?” She asks the boys.

Hunk looks up and around before frowning. “He was here when we were fighting the bots a little bit ago.”

Lance huffs. “He must have slipped out when we were using the targets. Dammit.”

Pidge’s frown deepens. “How long ago do you think that was?”

The Blue Paladin grimaces. “Maybe half an hour? More?”

Pidge sighs. “I’m going to go look for him.”

The boys nod. Pidge glances up at the control booth and salutes the two Alteans before heading out to find their de-facto leader.

Pidge checked his room, and there was no sign of him. She checked the bridge, the pod room, the kitchen, Keith’s room, anywhere she could think of that their headstrong friend might have snuck off to.

Finally, she finds him in the observatory.

She almost misses him. The lights are off, and he had shed his red and white paladin armor so he’s only in the black bodysuit.

He’s curled up against one of the large picture windows, leaning against it with his knees pulled up to his chest, one hand playing with the bead he always has around his neck. Just… staring out into the void.

She’ found him like this before. Despondent, near catatonic. It’s been happening more and more, the longer they go without any sign of Shiro. But at least by now, she knew what to do.

“Keith?”

He doesn’t look up. Doesn’t even flinch. “Hi Pidge.” He whispers.

She walks into the room, approaching the fragile form of her friend slowly.

“What’cha doing in here?”

Keith lifts a shoulder in a little shrug. “Sitting. Thinking.”

“About?” She’s almost to the window. She keeps her voice low, as though not to startle a frightened animal.

“Lots of things.”

She finally reaches the window. She wants to reach out, to touch Keith. To reassure him that he doesn’t have to be alone in this. But she doesn’t. She knows from experience that it won’t do any good, will only make Keith clam up and bolt from the room.

“Well, do you mind if I sit here and think with you?” she murmurs.

Keith shrugs again. “Do what you want.”

Pidge slowly sinks down on the opposite side of the window frame and mirrors Keith’s pose. She doesn’t speak any more. She knows that won’t help.

Keith sighs and closes his eyes, letting his forehead rest on the cold glass. She sees his shoulders relax, though.

Keith vanishes a lot. To sit in the darkness alone with his thoughts. Pidge knows she can’t do anything about Keith’s demons, or the fact that Shiro’s disappearance has torn a hole in his heart. But at the very least, she can sit here with him and keep him company, so he won’t be quite so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Lance says:  
> "It's okay, buddy, it's just a dream, it's okay, I'm here, you're not alone ... "  
> and  
> "It's okay, Keith, just breathe with me. Nice and easy, that's it."  
> Unlike Japanese, I know nothing about Spanish and had to rely on Google Translate and my limited middle-school knowledge so please correct me if you see something wrong. Keith is not in a good place but his friends are trying to be helpful. Next chapter we launch into Season 3 and Keith's rash actions make a lot more sense in this version of things. Have a lovely rest of your week!
> 
> Your silhouette is burned in my memory  
> Rubble left from the moment that you left me  
> Oh my God, oh my God  
> And three words have never come easy  
> Cause you're more than they ever could be  
> Oh my God, oh my God  
> \- Capsize, Emily Warren and Frienship


	22. Taking Over Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, friends! Mildly suicidal Keith has a lot of fun and Lance is an actual mature human being. It's great.

Keith is nowhere near okay.

The others have been trying. He knows they have. But there’s nothing they can do. Shiro’s gone, and Keith is hollow. He’d been out to the site of the battle multiple times at this point, just… just in case. But it’s been three months. There’s never been any sign of Shiro, alive or otherwise. He doesn’t know why Coran keeps letting him go out. He guesses it’s because it’s the only sort of hope he’s been holding on to. But now…

Keith doesn’t know what he’s going to do now.

He sits in and listens to the others talking about the Voltron coalition, and their success on Puig, and listens to Pidge talk about trying to locate Matt.

“You know, I gotta say, this is what it’s all about! Freeing the people, loving the ladies, then bombing down the road again looking for adventure Voltron Style.” Lance preens.

Hunk frowns. “Which brings up a little issue: they all wanna see Voltron, only we don’t really _have_ Voltron anymore.”

Keith’s jaw clenches. “We don’t have Shiro anymore either. Everyone seems to have forgotten that.”

There is heavy silence for a moment, then Allura speaks.

“It may be difficult for us to accept, but maybe it’s time to think about finding a new pilot for the Black Lion.”

They all stare at her, stunned.

“No.” Keith stands. “I’m going to find him. Shiro is the one person who never gave up on me, I won’t give up on him.” And then he storms out of the room, and makes a beeline for his bedroom, letting the door hiss shut behind him. He wishes he could slam it closed.

How could they even think about giving up on Shiro? They _know_ Shiro’s not dead, and they’re ready to just, what, stop looking? No, they could give up if they wanted to, but Keith was going to find him. He had to.

~*~

He is sitting in on the coalition meeting, because Lance had come and forcibly dragged him to it. (“Come on, dude! We all gotta be there to support Allura! And look pretty doing it!”)

And they keep bringing up Voltron. Because of course they do. That’s the real hero, isn’t it? The giant robot, not the five people who risk their lives piloting the lions that _make_ the robot. Oh no.

Allura points the four of them out, and the Puig leader immediately asks to see them form Voltron. Keith snaps.

“We can’t form Voltron, okay!? We can fly the lions, but Voltron is not happening!”

“What he means is,” Allura hurriedly says, “is that right _now_ they can’t form Voltron, but-”

“But nothing.” Keith growls. “Shiro is gone, he was the Black Lion, and until we find him, there is no Voltron.”

Kolivan tries to settle the leaders down, but all they want to hear is _Voltron_. They don’t care what has been sacrificed. They don’t give a _shit_ about the Paladins that have been protecting them. _They don’t care that their team is falling to pieces without its heart._

  Keith jumps up and slams his hands on the table. “Tell them to _stand up_ and _fight for themselves_. Voltron is gone!”

He knew he shouldn’t have been here. He turns and walks out before anyone can stop him. He changes out of the armor and back into his own clothes. He’s no symbol like this. He’s just… him. Then he wanders over to the Black Lion’s hangar.

He stands there, staring at her in stony silence. If only she could tell them where her pilot went.

The others join him a while later. He can hear their footsteps, feel their eyes on him.

Eventually, Lance comes up to stand beside him.

“Hey, man, we _all_ miss Shiro. I remember what a thrill it was to meet him for the first time when the two of us carried him out of that Garrison hospital.”

Hunk and Pidge come up on his other side.

“I grew up with my dad and Matt telling me stories about him.” Pidge says quietly, reaching up to hold Keith’s sleeve. “He was a _legend_ at our house.” She smirks, Keith sees it out of the corner of his eye. “You kind of were too. Shiro’s talented, angry _not-boyfriend_.”

“The guy taught me everything I know about being a pilot.” Hunk says from Pidge’s other side. “Which isn’t much but that’s more on me.”

“You’re not the only one hurting, man.” Lance says, and they all turn to him. “I mean, yeah, you’re hurting the _most_ , but we’re all right there with you. But you know he’d be the first one to tell us that we have to move on.”

Keith looks at the Blue Paladin. _I know_. He thinks. _I know he would, but-_

“Keith,” Allura says gently and they all turn to look at the Alteans. “I know exactly how you feel. But our mission is bigger than any one individual. Even the ones who are _completely_ irreplaceable.”

Keith sighs. “I know you’re right.” He closes his eyes briefly, then looks back at the Black Lion. “It’s time to figure out how to reform Voltron.”

Even if it will destroy Keith completely to do so.

~*~

The next day, they’re all sitting around the meeting room, trying to figure out what to do.

“I wish Shiro was here to tell us how to go on without him.” Lance sighs.

Pidge asks if Allura can simply _sense_ who the new Black Paladin is, like she did when the five of them first showed up, but, no. That would be too simple.

“Keith, you piloted the Black Lion when you had to save Shiro.” Coran says, turning to look at him. “Perhaps you’re the one.”

“Keith would be the worst leader of Voltron!” Lance says immediately.

“Yeah!” Pidge pipes up. “We all have our thing. Keith’s the loner, I’m the brain, Hunk’s the nice one, Allura’s the decision-maker, Coran is the wise old guy, and Lance is the goofball.”

“Mmhm, exactly!” Lance says, then pauses. “Hey, wait a minute! I’m not a goofball! I’m like the cool, ninja, sharpshooter!”

Keith snorts. “Are you kidding me?”

“I am being completely serious when I say that I don’t want _you_ to lead _me_ anywhere!”

“I don’t want to be the leader! That’s just what Shiro wanted!” Keith shouts, then his eyes widen as he realizes what he just said. Oh no.

“What are you talking about?” Hunk asks.

“Nothing.” Please ignore it please have not understood no…

“Shiro wanted you to be his successor, didn’t he?” Pidge says quietly.

Lance argues, thankfully. Even though they’re friends now, they still really don’t get along. Which, Keith is kind of grateful for. It keeps him distracted.

“And how convenient you bring this up now when Shiro is gone!”

“You want the job so badly? You can have it.” Keith says darkly.

The others all voice their own desires to give it a shot. Good, let one of them do it. Keith never wanted to lead them, no matter what Shiro had said.

Then Coran points out it’s the Lion’s decision, which, of course it is. Keith just desperately hopes it doesn’t choose him.

Really, he hopes it doesn’t choose any of them. The Black Lion won’t _want_ a new paladin if hers is still out there, somewhere, able to come back to them. If no one is chosen… then Shiro’s still out there.

Allura goes. Nothing. Then Pidge, and Hunk. Neither of them get any response. Then Lance tries. He sits in there for a long time before admitting defeat. Then, it’s his turn.

He enters the lion and sits down in the seat. In _Shiro’s_ seat. He could never hope to fill the hole the other man left.

“I know you wanted this for me, Shiro,” He murmurs, taking the controls. “But I’m not you. I can’t lead them like you.”

He closes his eyes and prays. _Don’t let it be me. Don’t let it be anybody. Let Shiro be alive out there, somewhere. Please._

There is a humming sound, and Black comes to life beneath him. Keith’s eyes snap open as he looks down at the display.

“Please, no.” He whispers raggedly, but the lion ignores him.

Instead, she stands and roars, and Keith’s heart, the little bit that was left, shatters. So, Shiro really is gone, or at least out of their reach.

He walks out of the lion, completely numb.

“I’m proud of you, Keith.” Allura says, smiling gently. “Though I wish you were getting the job under better circumstances.”

Keith says nothing. What can he possibly say?

Pidge and Hunk voice their similar thoughts, but Keith just… can’t.

“I can’t accept this.” He says dully.

They all look stunned.

“You must.” Allura says firmly.

“I can’t replace Shiro! Pidge is right, I’m the loner! I’m not the leader Shiro thought I was.”

Lance walks forwards carefully and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Keith, no one can replace Shiro. But the Black Lion wouldn’t choose anyone it didn’t feel was worthy to lead Voltron. I respect its choice, and you should too.”

Keith appreciates the sentiment, but they don’t get it. They don’t get what this means. He shakes himself mentally. Later. Break down later.

“But who’s going to fly the Red Lion?” He asks, getting them on a different train of thought. But that hurts to think about too. He loves Red, and now, he has to leave her to someone else. The thought makes something sour twist in his gut. First Shiro, now Red. What else was he going to lose?

Allura tries, but Red doesn’t respond. Looks like they’re still down one paladin.

Then they need to head back to Puig. And Keith has to go to Black. He feels nauseous the whole ride down.

“This one’s for you, Shiro.” He whispers, and then he pushes Black forwards.

Pidge and Hunk meet him outside, but Lance isn’t there. Apparently, Blue won’t let him in.

Then they encounter the Galra fleet that is attacking, led by one _Prince Lotor_. Apparently Zarkon had a son. Boy oh boy, does Keith’s life just keep getting better and better.

Lance finally comes out, in Red (and doesn’t that just hurt like a son of a bitch) and clearly isn’t used to her controls. They’re getting creamed, and they’re _still_ down one lion.

At least, until Allura shows up in Blue. And then Lotor turns tail and runs. Keith needs to take a nap after this weird-ass day.

But not before he goes after the fucker. He’s dangerous and needs to be taken care of, _now._ The others try to stop him but he doesn’t listen.

And they walk right into a fucking trap. Keith should have known.

Shiro _would_ have known.

Their sensors are busted, they’re surrounded by a gas that blows up when they fire their lasers, and they’re all separated now. He’s with Lance, but Pidge, Hunk and Allura? God knows where.

He flies towards Lance, dazed.

“What happened back there? Where’s the rest of the team?” Lance barks.

“This is all my fault.” Keith says weakly. “I led us right into this trap. Everyone warned me, but, I didn’t listen. I put the entire team in jeopardy.”

“Yeah, you kinda did.” Lance says bluntly. “But now we gotta fix it.”

Keith sighs. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

Keith’s hands are shaking on the controls as they move through the fog.

“Keith? You’re breathing’s kinda off. You good?”

“I knew I should never have tried to do this. I knew I wasn’t supposed to lead.” Keith says quietly. “I don’t know what Shiro was thinking. I’m no leader.”

“Hey,” Lance says firmly. “Shiro knew exactly what he was doing. He chose you because he _knew_ you. He knew you better than anybody. He trusted you, just like you trusted him. And you do, right? Trust him?”

“Of course I do!” Keith says sharply. That is the one thing that will _never_ change.

“Then trust that he knew what he was doing when he wanted you to be the leader.” Lance says.

“I’m doing a pretty fucking good job at trying to get us all killed, and I haven’t even been on the job for a day.” Keith protests.

Lance sighs over the comms. “No, Keith, you’re trying to get _yourself_ killed. The rest of us would just be collateral damage.”

Keith freezes. “What?”

“You heard me. From what I’ve gathered, you nearly _died_ when Shiro disappeared the first time, right? You wouldn’t eat and couldn’t sleep. You only made it because you kept hearing Blue calling. If it weren’t for that, you would have died waiting, wouldn’t you?”

Keith says nothing. There’s nothing he can say to that.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re trying to do the same thing now, but the rest of us are stopping you. Hunk’s making you eat. Pidge won’t let you be alone. Coran keeps locking you out of the training deck. I’m not letting your night terrors drive you insane. So, you’ve gotta find some other method of being suicidal. Dying for the cause is obviously your next best bet. But you can’t, okay? Because then, you’ll take us all down with you, and I know you don’t want that.”

“No.” Keith whispers brokenly. “I don’t.”

“Look man, I get that you feel like you’re being torn apart. I hear what you say when you first wake up. I get that all of your shit is coming to the surface because Shiro isn’t here to reassure you that you’re okay. I know… I know you don’t feel safe anymore.” Lance says the last part quietly. “But dude, we’re all here with you. We can be your shield. I know we’ll never do as good a job as Shiro can, but between the five of us, maybe we can come close.”

Keith’s vision is blurry, and when he blinks to clear it, he feels something hot slide down his cheeks. He’s crying.

“I don’t want to believe he’s gone, Lance.” He says shakily. “He… he _can’t_ be gone, or else, I…”

“Keith, I promise you, I will help you find him. And then I’ll _personally_ kick his ass for doing this to you again, okay?”

Keith chokes out a laugh. “ _You_? Kick _Shiro’s_ ass?”

“Well, maybe I’ll just yell at him a bunch. I can ignore his kicked puppy face. I have three sisters. I am immune.”

Keith laughs again, weakly. “Thanks, Lance.”

“Any time, _amigo_.”

Allura finds them shortly thereafter, then they find Hunk and Pidge, then they get off the planet, form Voltron (Keith is _very_ disoriented) and then Lotor gets away. Keith lets him. Lance is right. Even if he doesn’t care about his own life at present, he can’t drag the rest of them into it.

~*~

Later, he’s sitting in his room when he hears a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

The door slides open, and Lance sidles in. “Hey, just… wanted to see how you were.”

“No better than I have been.” Keith admits. “But… I do have to thank you. For talking some sense into me.”

Lance shrugs, leaning against the wall. “I didn’t do much.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “You do more than you think.” He shakes his head and stands, crossing over to Lance.

“Seriously. Thank you. I know we still fight like cats and dogs, but it’s good to know I can count on you.” Then he hugs the Blue Paladin.

He feels Lance go very still. “Are you actually hugging me? Of your own volition?”

“Yeah. Don’t get used to it.” Keith mutters. He expects Lance to laugh, to poke fun at his prickly nature, but he doesn’t. Instead he very hesitantly wraps his arms around Keith, hugging him back.

“I get how much this means.” Lance says quietly. “I know how much it takes for you to touch people. So, thank you. I’m honored.”

“Well,” Keith says awkwardly, still not pulling away. He hasn’t touched anyone since Shiro disappeared. “I mean, you kind of _are_ my best friend, after all. So.”

Lance freezes. “I’m. Your best. Friend?”

“Well. Yeah.” Keith grumbles. “I can’t really keep calling Shiro my best friend. I mean, he’s my _boyfriend._ So the title of best friend is kinda open.”

Lance stays still for another moment, then his grip around Keith tightens and he _giggles_. “Oh my god, you are so awkward. Why did I ever think you were an ice-cold bitch?”

“Hell if I know.” Keith sighs. “I, I don’t know if I… _trust_ you yet. Not fully, but, I think I’m starting to. You and the others have done a lot for me, and I do appreciate it. So I’ll try, to be better.”

“Hey, man, I’m just thrilled you don’t still hate me for the shit I put you through. If I can start to make up for it by being here for you while Shiro is gone, then I’m all in. We’re here for you, Keith. All of us.”

And Keith believes it.

That night, when Keith wakes up screaming, Lance is right there, murmuring quietly in Spanish so Keith can orient himself. And Keith knows he’s made the right decision regarding the Blue – now Red – Paladin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Keith, but it's not as bad as he thought. Maybe. Sorta.  
> Okay, it's still pretty bad.  
> Next we deal with Alternate Alteans and "Shiro's" return. Fun times, my dudes. Have a good week!
> 
> You don't remember me but I remember you  
> I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
> But who can decide what they dream?  
> And dream I do...  
> I believe in you  
> I'll give up everything just to find you  
> I have to be with you to live, to breathe  
> You're taking over me  
> \- Taking Over Me, Evanescence


	23. Disturbia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I lied a little bit and Kuron isn't actually in this chapter because I got caught up in analyzing Keith's feelings but he's the star of the next chapter so that's okay, right? We still get Sven! Have some Sven and Keith angsting together!

Keith is… coping.

He’s still not where he probably should be, headspace-wise, but he’s calmed down a little. Lance is right, he needs to remember that his actions affect the rest of the team. And, isn’t that an interesting notion? Not only do his actions as leader of Voltron (he still absolutely hates that fact) affect them, but _he_ affects them. If he’s unresponsive, they worry. If he doesn’t eat or sleep or overexerts himself, the others try to help. They care about him in a way only Shiro has ever cared before.

He remembers something Shiro had said to him once, early on in their friendship when he’d talked about being unable to trust people.

  _“Just because you can’t now doesn’t mean you won’t_ ever _learn to trust again, Keith. You’ve been hurt and betrayed so many times, so it will take a long time to heal, and that’s what you’re doing now. You’re healing. You trust me now, right? Well one day, you’ll have other people you trust. And gradually, all of the people you come to care about will help you get back to a place of comfort and safety.”_

And as usual, Shiro was right. He doesn’t know if he fully trusts the other people in the Castle of Lions, but he’s starting to learn that, when he feels ready, he’ll be able to. They care about him. And maybe, maybe that will be enough to get them through, until Shiro comes home.

So he tries. He eats with everyone, and he works on spending less time in the training deck (at least by himself) and he sits with the others when he’s feeling non-responsive. Being around them chattering away may be a little irritating (he’s still a solitary creature) but the noise helps remind him he isn’t nearly as alone as he feels.

He still sleeps poorly. There’s not really anything he can do to help that, but Lance is there to drag him out of whatever torment his mind had conjured up, so that helps.

One night, when he wakes – thankfully not nearly as disoriented as normal – he finds by his bedside, not Lance, but Pidge. She’s leaning against the side of his bed, typing away on her computer with one hand while the other is reaching behind her and holding onto his hand.

“Pidge?” He rasps and clears his throat. “What are you-?”

“Lance was exhausted after today, so I volunteered to be on nightmare duty.” She says without looking up. “I’m having one of my bouts of insomnia, so it wasn’t a problem. Oh, and Hunk made this,” She stops typing and lifts an Altean thermos, shaking it in his direction. “He figured out how to make space hot chocolate. I had mine already, this one’s for you.”

Keith takes it slowly and twists off the lid, taking a careful sip. It _does_ taste like hot chocolate. Which is one of the few sweet things he actually enjoys. He smiles a little and curls his fingers more securely around the thermos.

“Thank you.” He murmurs.

“Hey, Hunk made it, not me.”

“No, I mean, Thank you. All of you. You’re trying so hard to make me feel better.”

She finally glances up at him. “Is it working?” She asks, trying for nonchalant, but Keith can hear the undercurrent of worry.

“I mean, nothing will truly make me feel alright again until we find him.” Keith says slowly. “But, this, all of this, it helps. So thanks.”

Pidge smiles up at him and squeezes his hand gently. “You’re our friend, Keith. Of course we want to help.”

“Yeah, Keith sighs, taking another sip and squeezing Pidge’s hand back. “Friends.”

~*~

A few days later, they get a distress call. An _Altean_ distress call. Allura and Coran are freaking the fuck out. Keith is skeptical.

They find an actual Altean ship, stuck in some kind of wormhole, rift, quintessence thing. When they try to send a probe, the thing dissolves, but Allura is adamant about going to the ship. So the rest of them have to follow. It really wouldn’t do if she got the Blue Lion destroyed, or herself killed in the process.

They make it through the anomaly in one piece, thankfully, but the castle and the other half of the ship are gone. Keith gets a very bad feeling about this, but Allura urges them towards and into the bowels of the ship when she hears Hunk say he’s sensing life signs.

They find the captain, dead, and hear his doomsday log. Keith’s uneasy feeling keeps growing. Especially when two masked people come tumbling out of a vent in the ceiling.

Lance starts shooting at the one with many arms (who looks vaguely like Slav) and when the other humanoid one lifts his gun, Keith slices it in half and punches the guy in the face.

He turns and starts to attack Lance with his own blade, but Pidge knocks him in the face with her bayard, cracking his helmet to expose-

Keith short-circuits. “Shiro?” But no, no. He may look like Shiro, but it isn’t. His skin is a shade darker than Shiro’s, and when he barks at them to stay back, that’s not Shiro’s voice. He sounds… Scandinavian?

Then the guy looks right at him, and freezes. “…Akira?”

Keith blinks rapidly. Huh?

“If you’re here for the comet, you’ll never get it!” The Slav-alien – who appears to actually _be_ Slav – yells. “I’ll die before I let it fall into Altean hands!”

“What,” Keith says calmly, “the fuck. Is happening.”

“That is what I would like to know.” The Shiro look-alike says, still staring at Keith. “Akira…”

“Not my name, dude.” He says, deactivating his bayard. “Just like I’m assuming yours isn’t Shiro.”

The man frowns. “No.”

“What is happening!? Did everyone wake up with amnesia and get weird accents??” Hunk says, startled.

“You know me.” The man says, and it’s not a question.

“Of course we do! You’re Shiro, our leader, paladin of the Black Lion! And you’re Slav! I rescued you from a space prison! You’re also slightly crazy.” Lance adds.

“I may be crazy, but you’ve never rescued me from anything before! Unless…”

“This is an alternate reality!” Pidge says, just as Alternate-Slav says “You’re from another reality!”

“I think when we passed through that glowy, explodey area, we passed into an alternate reality.” Pidge explains.

“You mean like what Slav was always talking about?” Lance asks, then says, “Not you, well, yes you, but a different you. One that was always talking about other realities.”

“Oh, that’s him.” Alternate-Shiro says dryly.

“Why did you attack this ship and its crew?” Allura barks.

“Stay back, Altean,” Alt-Shiro growls, and Slav explains they found the ship the way it was.

Keith edges around until he’s standing next to Alt-Shiro. “So. You looked pretty surprised to see me.” He says as the others keep listening to Slav and Pidge.

“And you seemed surprised to see _me._ ” Alt-Shiro – Sven, apparently, according to Alt-Slav – says, side-eyeing him.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me?” Keith suggests.

Sven smirks. “Fair enough.” He gestures. “After you.”

Keith sighs. “In our reality, you… disappeared. We have no idea if you’re alive or dead. Though I’m praying for the former. I… do not do so well without my version of you.”

Sven nods. “Here… you died. And it was all my fault. You tried to tell me it wasn’t, even as you were bleeding out in my arms, but, I know it was my fault. I got careless, and you took a shot that was meant for me. I will never forgive myself for it, as long as I live.”

Keith tilts his head. “So we were in love in this reality too, huh?”

Sven laughs humorlessly. “Yeah. I loved you more than anything. More than life. I’ve never stopped.”

“Same here.” Keith sighs. He side-eyes Sven and grins wryly. “Well, aren’t we just a sorry sight?”

Sven laughs. “I suppose we are.” He looks over at Keith, and places a hand on his head. “I’m glad I got to see your face again, even if you aren’t _my_ Akira.” He raises an eyebrow. “What… _is_ your name?”

“Keith.” He says, and then his eyes soften. “I’m sorry about Akira.”

Sven nods. “I hope you find Shiro. Maybe we didn’t get a happy ending in this reality, but I’d like to think maybe we do in yours.”

Keith smiles, and then Slav says there are Alteans coming, and he and Sven disappear into the air vents.

And then Alteans walk in and bow to Allura. Okay, this is trippy. And kind of a mood whiplash.

~*~

Sven watches Slav place the final explosive on the hull of the ship. “Do you really think this plan will work?”

He should have known better, as Slav spouts out percentages. At least they sound favorable.

“Do you think the people from the other reality will join the Alteans?” He asks then.

“If they’re really my friends from another reality, there’s a seventy-two percent chance they’ll figure out what’s right.” Then he gives Sven a meaningful look. “And the one who looks like Akira? I give him a ninety-three percent chance of calling ‘bullshit’ on the whole thing.”

Sven smirks. Yeah, that sounds like the Akira he knew. And this alternate Akira… Keith, he seemed very much like Sven’s lover, in many ways.

~*~

Keith and Allura walk with General Hira, who tells them about _Empress Allura_ wiping out the Galra and establishing “peace and stability”, which, apparently, means mass slavery. Keith knew these guys were shady as fuck.

But Allura is blinded by her love of her people and pulls the ship from the tear.

Then the doctor dude brings in the other Paladins, along with Slav and Sven, and they confirm they’re planning to use the comet to lobotomize every other reality. Yeah, not gonna happen.

He feels bad for Allura, but apparently her people went nuts. And Keith’s not cool with that. They bust out of the room and run towards the lions. While getting shot at. By Alteans. God Keith hates alternate realities.

Lance halts to fire at some sentries, but one fires at him from a different hallway.

“Lance!” Keith shouts, but he knows he won’t be able to reach him in time. Then he sees Sven dart forwards and shove Lance out of the way, taking the shot that had been meant to kill the paladin.

Keith helps Lance drag Sven out of the hall and into the next corridor. Slav looks very worried. Oh no.

“Sven, are you okay? You saved my life!” Lance says in awe.

Sven grins. “I’ll be fine. Just get me to Space Hospital.”

Keith isn’t so sure. “Sven,” he doesn’t know what to say. “You took a shot meant for someone else. Looks like you finally redeemed yourself, for what happened to Akira.”

Sven closes his eyes, and smiles. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

Slav opens an airlock and sucks out the remaining sentries.

“I’ll take care of Sven! You all get to your lions!”

Keith looks down at the injured man. “Sven-”

“Go, Keith.” He murmurs, opening his eyes again. “Go. Take the comet. Find Shiro. Get your happy ending.”

Keith’s jaw clenches. Dammit. _Dammit._ “Goodbye, Sven. And, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I’ll get to see Akira again. It’s alright. Now, _go_.”

Keith goes.

~*~

They grab the comet, and then they leave the alternate reality, and its people, behind.

Lotor takes the comet while they’re all still out of it, but Keith really just can’t find the will to go after him. They’re all a little drained.

When they’re back in the castle, he finds Allura, and tells her she did good.

“We couldn’t let Hira get that ore.” He tells her.

“And now Lotor has it.” She says bitterly.

“We didn’t know.” He soothes, even though he _did_ totally say it was a trap.

“That is the problem. We never know.” Allura says angrily, standing and looking out the window. “This is exactly why my father sent the lions away so many years ago. To avoid _this_ reality. I finally understand.”

“We’ll get it back.”

“And if we don’t?” She turns to look at him. “Lotor is always one step ahead of us. He has a plan for that ore. And if he succeeds, the Galra will finally have a weapon as powerful as Voltron.”

~*~

Keith takes Black out later, just to think. He hates they left Sven. He hates that the other man probably died saving Lance. He hates that Sven lost Akira, but in a much more concrete way than Keith lost Shiro. He hates that Allura had to see her people become so terrible. He hates Lotor. Just in general.

He sighs and looks out the screen. He wishes Shiro were here. He misses the other man so badly, he aches with it. He needs Shiro home.

Just then, the Black Lion lifts her head and roars, startling Keith out of his thoughts.

“What is it?” he asks her. In answer, the Lion’s sensor pings to life. Tracking a familiar signal. Keith stares at it in shock.

“It can’t be.” He breathes, then urges Black forwards, radioing the castle. “Coran, I just sent you coordinates, open up a wormhole to them, _now_.”

“Why? Keith, what’s at these coordinates.”

“I’m not sure,” he says, urging Black to go faster when a wormhole swirls to life in front of him. “But I think I have a pretty good idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to wonder why Black/Shiro decided to save Kuron. Maybe because he knew he'd be needed? Or maybe it's just because Shiro's a good person, who knows, but it makes me wonder. Ah well. Next time is everyone's favorite clone having a very hard time, poor dear. Have a good rest of your week!
> 
> Throw on your brake lights,  
> We're in the city of wonder  
> Ain't gonna play nice,  
> Watch out, you might just go under  
> Better think twice,  
> Your train of thought will be altered  
> So if you must falter be wise  
> \- Disturbia, Rihanna


	24. Anomaly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again everyone. Have a poor confused clone child who is just as Tired(TM) as Original-Flavor Shiro.

Shiro jerks awake in a darkened room with no recollection of how he got there. He has vague flashes of memory, but not enough to piece together what happened to him. He is in a Galra experimentation room, he can see that much.

He has to get out. He has to get back to the others. To Voltron.

He stands shakily, and falls, but manages to get out of the room and wander down the hall. He wonders where all the sentries are, but it’s good he hasn’t encountered any. He’s not sure how well he can fight in the state he’s in.

He brushes the hair out of his eyes. Was his hair always this long? His mind is fuzzy. He can’t remember anything he thinks he should be remembering.

He peers into a room and sees… himself? Galra doctors, flashes of being in a chamber full of liquid. The doctors had said something but he can’t remember what they had said. It seems like it was important.

When he drags his mind back to the present, he sees the sentries have finally arrived, and they start shooting. He runs.

He activates his Galra arm. Seems he can fight after all. His head hurts. More sentries come. He keeps running.

He hijacks a pod and is shot down. He lands on a world of ice and wind and cold. He nearly falls into a ravine but jumps to safety just as the ship he was in crashes into the crevice.

He lies in the snow for several long moments, just staring up at the sky. He sees his breath come out in clouds. He knows there are things he needs to remember, but he can’t. A lot of memories are blurred in his mind. He just knows he needs to get back to Voltron.

He stands, and walks. He keeps walking, ignoring the pain in his leg. He finally stops in the shadow of the bones of a long dead creature. He cauterizes his wound. He looks up at the bones. And wonders what could have killed something so big.

He is very tired, and very confused. He just wants to go home.

~*~

The next morning, he keeps walking.

He finally finds a lake, and runs to it, gulping down water, until a large gray creature pops out, and tries to kill him. It nearly succeeds.

Something or someone else drives it off, but he passes out before he can see who.

He wakes in a cave, hanging on a hook by his wrists.

The two aliens who have captured him come in.

“Where am I?” he rasps. “Why am I tied up?”

“We should eat him.” The big one says.

“He doesn’t look Galra.” The little one muses.

“Does that mean we can’t eat him?”

“We’re not going to eat him!”

“I’m _not_ Galra.” He growls.

“Even worse.” The big one sneers. “You’re a traitor.”

“I’m not a-!” He starts, then stops, and looks at them. “You’re rebel fighters.”

“That’s right, we stand against the Galra. We haven’t thrown our lot in with them like you have.” The big one says haughtily.

Shiro scowls. “I’m not working with them, I’m on your side. My name is Shiro, I’m a paladin of Voltron. I was captured.” He pauses. “I think. I was fighting Zarkon.”

“Fighting Zarkon?” the big one laughs. And says… something that must be his species’ version of “and I’m the queen of Sheba”.

“Have you heard of Voltron? The lions, please, I need to know, what happened to them? How much time has passed?”

They don’t believe him. He’s not surprised, really. They think the Galra sent him.

“They didn’t send me, I escaped!”

“Escaped a Galra battle cruiser?” they laugh. Joke’s on them, he’s done it twice now. Admittedly, Ulaz had helped the first time, but still.

“I’m not buying it!”

“It’s true!” Shiro says, exasperated. “I took a pod. They fired on me, my pod took a hit! They wouldn’t do that if I was friendly. Please, contact the Blade of Marmora or Voltron to verify my identity.”

“And send a signal that can be tracked? Uh, no.”

They very clearly are not planning on helping him. They leave him alone, and he starts trying to get out of his bonds.

Then he hears the radio say Voltron.

He’s loose by the time they come to check on him a moment later.

He evades them effortlessly and disarms them easily.

“You’re on the wrong side in this war!” The little guy says shakily, looking at the weapon Shiro has aimed at the both of them.

“No, I’m not. I’m on your side. My name is Shiro, and like I said, I am a paladin of Voltron. I know that no matter what I say you won’t believe me. So,”

He throws the gun on the ground between them.

They look up at him, stunned.

“I need to get to my team, and I need your help.”

~*~

They give him a suit and a ship, and he somehow manages to get onto the departing Galra battle cruiser, headed right for Voltron’s current location.

Voltron is there. He’s so close.

He hijacks a Galra fighter, and breaks out of the hangar, and, there it is. But…

_“NO!”_

Voltron is too fast and gets out of range easily. Shiro grits his teeth and follows.

~*~

One week. And he’s nearly dead. But dammit, he’d had to try, didn’t he? H had to try and reach them…

Suddenly, there is a shadow. He opens his eyes, and a wormhole appears in front of him, and out of it, comes the Black Lion.

“Shiro?” Comes a low voice over the comm.

Shiro’s eyes widen. “Keith.” He knew his memory had been foggy, but forget about Keith? Forget that he’d promised not to disappear again? God, how could he?

A shaky, huffed laugh floats over the channel. “You’re late, Shirogane.”

“Sorry,” he says, leaning back and closing his eyes again. “I was… a little waylaid.”

“No shit.”

Shiro laughs as the Black lion takes the ship in its jaws and carries him into the Castle of Lions. Where he belongs.

~*~

As soon as Keith touches down in the Black Lion’s hangar, he jumps out and races over to the Galra fighter. People are shouting in his ear over the comms, but Keith yanks off his helmet and tosses it aside.

He climbs the fighter and tears the hatch open, just as its pilot gets out.

His hair is, whoa, _long_ , and he has _stubble_ , but there’s Shiro, smiling at him tiredly. “Hey, Keith. Thanks for coming.”

“You’re an idiot.” Keith says fiercely, then drags the older man in for a hug.

“I know.” Shiro mutters, wrapping his arms weakly around Keith’s waist. “’M sorry.”

“You damn well better be.” Keith growls, the pulls back to examine his idiot wayward boyfriend further. “You look like shit, Shirogane.”

“Thanks, honey. You look lovely too.”

Keith smirks, but is interrupted from whatever else he was going to say by a shout, and then Pidge is knocking Shiro over.

“Shiro! _Shiro!_ Oh my god!”

“Hey, Pidge.” Shiro says weakly.

“Shiro!?” Keith turns to see Lance staring dumbly at where the Green Paladin has tackled Shiro against the top of the fighter. Hunk and the Alteans are right behind him.

Keith looks at him, smiles, and shrugs.

“My god, Keith.” Lance says dumbly.

“Yeah.”

Pidge finally releases Shiro and he sits back up. “Hey, guys.” He says weakly. “Sorry for that.”

“You are in so much trouble.” Lance tells him. “Keith and I are going to rip you a new one, oh my god.”

Keith frowns at Shiro’s shaky form. “Just how long were you in that ship?”

Shiro winces. “Ah, about a week?”

Keith’s eyes widen. “A w- oh my _god_ , Shirogane. I’m going to strangle you.” He hauls Shiro the rest of the way out of the ship and gets him down on the ground and begins marching him to the door.

“You are getting your ass in a healing pod _right this minute_ or I swear to god-”

Shiro laughs quietly. “Yes, dear.”

~*~

Keith sits in front of the healing pod where Shiro is sleeping, recuperating after being _severely_ dehydrated and malnourished. Keith sighs. Some things never change. Shiro was still an idiot who never worried about himself.

“Hey, man.” He hears behind him, and turns to see Lance walking towards him, hands in his pockets.

“Hi,” Keith sighs, and turns back towards Shiro.

“Well, I told you we’d find him.” Lance teases gently, sitting next to Keith on the floor. “I might hold off on the ass kicking until he looks like a stiff breeze _won’t_ knock him over.”

Keith snorts quietly. “You do that, McClain.”

Lance grins and nudges him, but then frowns. “Hey, you doing okay? I mean, Shiro’s back so you should be over the moon, but you still seem… off.”

Keith shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“You… don’t know.”

“I know that I should be fine now that Shiro is home, but I still feel… numb. Like something’s still not right. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t feel like everything’s okay just yet.”

Lance frowns. “Any idea why?”

“Not yet. It might just take me awhile to get used to him being back. We’ll see.” Keith turns and raises an eyebrow at the now-Red Paladin. “Don’t worry so much, Lance. I’ll be okay.”

“Of course I’m going to worry.” Lance grumbles but stands and stretches. “I won’t tell you to go get some sleep, because I know you won’t, just… let us know when he wakes up, okay?”

Keith nods. “Can do.”

Lance flashes him a grin, and leaves, probably headed to his own room.

Keith resumes watching Shiro’s sleeping form, the dark feeling that had been in his chest since Shiro left was still there. Keith hoped that the longer Shiro was back, the less he would feel it.

~*~

The pod hisses open quietly a few hours later, and Keith is there to catch Shiro as he stumbles out.

“Easy, the pod might have pulled you back from near-death, but you’re still going to be weak.”

“Keith,” Shiro breathes, leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder. “So it wasn’t a dream.”

Keith smiles fondly. “I should be the one saying that to you. Now come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Keith hasn’t been in their room since Shiro disappeared, but now he opens the door and helps Shiro over to the bed.

“Now, I know you like to think you’re invincible, but please, stay in this bed. For at _least_ a few days. You need time to recover.”

“Can I take off the white body suit?” Shiro asks, clearly amused.

…right.

Keith finds him a tank top and shorts to change into and watches the older man carefully as he changes.

“Is this new?” he asks, tracing a scar on Shiro’s shoulder blade.

Shiro brushes his hair out of his eyes and peers over his shoulder. “Not sure. I have so many that I wouldn’t know what’s new and what’s old.”

Keith’s brow furrows and he pokes at the scar again. “I’m pretty sure it’s new.”

Shiro laughs quietly and pulls the tank top on. “How on earth can you even tell?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Because I know you.”

Shiro shakes his head fondly and slides under the covers, looking up at Keith. “Are you staying?”

Keith rolls his eyes and toes off his boots, throwing his jacket at the chair by the desk and crawling under the covers. “Stupid question.”

Shiro grins and hauls Keith against him. Keith goes with only token protesting.

“I missed you, Keith.” Shiro says quietly.

“I missed you too.” He pauses for a moment, then asks “So what happened? How did you get… wherever it was you’ve been?”

Shiro sighs above him. “I have no idea. The last thing I remember is the battle with Zarkon. I don’t even remember leaving the lion.”

“The Galra really need to stop fucking with your head, I swear to god.” Keith grumbles.

“Hear, hear.” Shiro mutters. Then he props himself up and looks down at Keith, hair spilling down around them. “Are you okay? I know I promised you I wasn’t going to vanish on you again. You… must be pretty angry with me.”

“Oh yes.” Keith deadpans. “But I’ll yell at you when you’re feeling better.”

Shiro’s brow furrows and he brushes Keith’s bangs out of his eyes. “You don’t sound right. What’s wrong?”

Keith sighs. Of course he noticed. “I just… when you came back the first time, the dark feeling I’d had in my chest _immediately_ vanished. You were home, end of story. But now, you’re back, but that feeling is _still here_. And I have no idea why.” He closes his eyes and rubs at them with the heels of his hands. “It might be because you literally vanished with no clue as to how you left whereas before, you got lost in space, it seemed plausible how you disappeared then.

“Or maybe it’s because when you came back last time, we got slammed with so much other shit, like you know, giant robot space lions and saving the universe, that I didn’t get to process the way I was feeling until way after when I was exhausted. And this time I had a lot of hours to just sit and think about it. Or maybe it’s the stress of doing that whole defending the universe thing and the shit with Lotor. Zarkon has a son by the way, he’s a real peach. Or, hell, maybe it’s something else entirely and I’m too stressed to figure out what that might be.”

He looks back up at Shiro. “Anyway, it’s weird, and I don’t like it. You’re _back_. Everything should be _fine_ , but it isn’t, and I’m _pissed_.”

Shiro kisses his forehead gently. “I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately.”

“Yeah, but you’re here now so that takes care of one of my issues.” Keith sighs. “Don’t worry about it, Shiro. I’ll be okay.”

Shiro nods, and his long hair tickles Keith’s cheek.

“Did the Galra give you hair-growth vitamins or something?” he asks, sliding his fingers up into the long strands. “There is no way your hair grew this much in just three months. _Jesus_.”

Shiro laughs. “I was kind of surprised by it myself. No idea how it got this long, to be honest.”

Keith tilts his head to the side. “I actually kind of like it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhm. You look good with long hair.”

Shiro hums and presses their foreheads together. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Then, “I haven’t kissed you yet.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Well, I suppose you’d better get on that.”

“I suppose I should.” Then Shiro ducks down and kisses him. It lasts for all of a moment before Keith is pushing him back, nose scrunching.

“What?”

“Dude, you’re all prickly.”

Shiro blinks, and then laughs, shoulders shaking so hard he has to rest his head on Keith’s shoulder.

“Right, forgot about that.” He snickers. He lifts his head back up and runs a hand over his face. “I guess I need a shave.”

Keith tilts his head again. “I have literally never seen you with facial hair, in the entire time that I have known you. What the fuck.”

“I prefer to shave often. It gets itchy otherwise.” Shiro shrugs.

Keith scowls. “It’s weird.”

“Says the one who can’t grow facial hair to save his life.”

“Shut it, Shirogane.”

After that, they just lie together, until Shiro falls asleep, arms wrapped tight around Keith’s waist. Keith lies awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling and running his fingers through Shiro’s long hair. He wishes the weird feeling in his chest would go away, but it doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clone Shiro is a good boy and a tragedy and deserves to be cuddled by Keith. That is all. See you Wednesday.  
> (And, for those of you who also follow To Love and Be Loved, I'm starting Part 3 on Wednesday too!)
> 
> Wait there is a light, there is a fire defragmenting the attic,  
> Fate or something better, I could care less,  
> Just stay with me a while  
> I picture your face in the back of my eyes,   
> A fire in the attic, a proof of the prize,  
> Anomaly, anomaly, anomaly  
> I'm calling your name up into the air.  
> Not one of the others could ever compare!  
> Anomaly, anomaly!  
> \- Anna Molly, Incubus


	25. Narcissistic Cannibal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! You wanted to see if Keith can tell the difference? Here's your answer.

He and the other Paladins are doing their damnedest to figure out where the hell Lotor took that fucking comet, because like hell they’re letting him use it for crazy reality-hopping or creating a Dark Voltron. Either one of those things would be very bad.

Currently, they’re infiltrating a Galra base that should have some promising leads as to where Lotor is planning to go. Which should help. It also doesn’t hurt that they’ve now taken out every base in the sector.

As soon as they get back, Keith goes to check on Shiro.

“Hey, how you doing?”

“Better than I was.” Shiro groans, sitting up.

“Have any of your memories come back?”

“No. I still don’t know. The last thing I remember, I was in the Black Lion. It told me to use my bayard.”

Keith frowns, crossing his arms. “Well, you’d just unlocked the Black Lion’s ability to teleport. Could it have teleported you? Maybe it was trying to save you.”

“By teleporting me into the hands of the Galra?”

Fair point. “Maybe, Zarkon forced it to. I mean he was fighting for control of the Black Lion until the very last moment, right?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Shiro doesn’t sound so sure, though.

“Well, if you’re up to it, the rest of the team would be thrilled to see you up and around again. They need you, you know.”

“Yeah. I’ll try.”

Keith nods, and turns towards the door. “We’ll be on the bridge.”

“Hey, Keith?”

Keith turns. “Yeah?”

“How many times are you gonna have to save me before this is over?” Shiro asks, smiling weakly.

Keith crosses back over to the side of the bed and presses a kiss to the top of Shiro’s head. “As many times as it takes.” He murmurs, and then turns back to head for the bridge.

A half-hour later, Shiro appears on the bridge. Hair cut (Keith is mildly disappointed, even if it is more practical), face shaven, and dressed. He tries to sound chipper, but Keith can tell he’s still exhausted.

“You’re looking better. How are you feeling?” Lance asks.

“Good. Just trying to get rid of this weird headache.”

Keith frowns. Shiro had been complaining about that since he got back. He hopes it’s nothing serious.

Then Pidge calls them over and tells them she’s figured out how to find Lotor. After a very science-y conversation that goes way over Keith’s head, she and Hunk run off to do… whatever it is to help them find Lotor.

With nothing to do but wait, Keith goes back to the room and straightens up the sheets from where Shiro had rolled out of bed earlier. He really must still not be feeling good if he didn’t feel up to making the bed.

A knock comes just as he’s finishing. “Yeah?” He calls, and the door slides open to reveal Lance with a very pensive look on his face.

“Hey, man. I just wanted to talk with you because, well, because I’ve been worrying about something.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “It must really be bothering you if you’re coming to talk to me.” He teases.

“I mean, you’re the leader now, right?”

Keith looks down. “I guess.”

“And besides, we’re friends now. I figured that meant we could, you know, talk.”

Keith shakes himself. “Of course we can. What’s on your mind, Lance?”

“I’ve been doing some math. With Shiro back, that makes six paladins, and only five lions, and if I’m right, that’s one paladin too many.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Solid math.”

Lance huffs in frustration. “Look, when Shiro takes over the Black Lion, you’re going to want your Red Lion back. If I get a lion, that means I’d have to take Blue from Allura, but she’s progressed a lot faster than any of us did. She might even be able to unlock powers we don’t even know of.”

“That’s true.”

“So, maybe the best thing I can do for the team is step aside.”

Keith’s brow furrows. “What are you talking about?”

“This isn’t a participation game, this is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines.”

Keith huffs and runs a hand through his hair. “Stop worrying about who flies what, and just focus on your missions. Things will work themselves out.”

Lance looks away briefly. “Okay. Thanks.” He starts to head for the door.

“And Lance?”

Lance turns back. Keith smirks. “Leave the math to Pidge.”

Lance smiles, and then the door hisses shut.

Keith sighs and flops down on the bed. Lance had a point. There were only five lions, and with Shiro back, that meant one of them would be on the ground, but Lance was wrong about who that person should be. If anyone should be grounded, it should be him. He was one of the better pilots, sure, but he was much more adapted to close-quarters fighting.

Lance was right about Allura, she _needed_ a lion. Shiro was their leader – and a much better one than him – so he obviously needed Black. But Lance was their sniper. He excelled in long-range combat, which was mostly what they did in the lions. And though he still makes Keith cringe with his reckless flying – especially in Red – they need his eyes out there on the frontlines. So, Keith is the obvious choice for going lionless. It was the logical choice. Although he knew Lance would protest. That boy had extreme self-worth issues. Keith could recognize the signs. He exhibited many of them himself.

They should start a goddamn club.

So, obviously, Keith couldn’t just come out and say he would sit back. Everyone would protest, but what else were they going to do? So, maybe if Keith just keeps making Shiro take the Black Lion, they’ll just get used to the idea of him not flying one, and they won’t even notice he’s backed out completely.

He hopes that’ll work.

~*~

Time to see if it’ll work.

There is a minor awkward incident where he and Shiro both start issuing orders at once, and then Keith cedes the floor. Right, he forgot he doesn’t have to do the in-charge thing anymore.

So Shiro does a plan thing, and then the Galra ship attacks the Galra base.

“I don’t think they’re moving the comet to that base.” Shiro says in surprise. “We need more information.”

“You’re right.” Keith says, laying a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. You take the Black Lion. I’ll stay with Coran in the castle and provide support.”

Shiro looks up at him, shocked. “Keith, are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

He watches them all get into their elevators and relaxes once Shiro is out of sight. It worked. Coran gives him a significant look, but he ignores it. Five minutes later, they see four lions shoot out into open space, but the Black Lion isn’t there.

“Keith, I’m gonna need you to lead this mission.”

Keith stares at the comm in shock. “What? What is it?”

“The Black Lion… isn’t responding to me. It looks like you’re its true paladin now.”

Keith’s eyes widen. Oh shit. That… was so not what he’d been expecting. Or wanting.

He sighs and heads to the elevator. “I’m coming down.”

He changes and gets to the Black Lion in record time.

Shiro is stepping out just as he walks up.

“What the hell-”

Shiro shakes his head. “I don’t know, but she wouldn’t respond.”

Keith scowls. “Well that’s bullshit.”

“Keith,” Shiro grips his shoulder. “We can talk about it later. You have to get out there now.”

Keith growls in frustration, but nods, and as soon as Shiro releases him he darts into the lion.

He joins the others down at the base. They get on the ship, look for the comet, and find it. Problem is, it’s not actually a comet anymore. It’s a fucking ship. Fan-fucking-tastic. Then they find out about the teludav piece, and Allura tells them that _apparently_ Witch Haggar is an Altean (thanks for mentioning that, princess!) and could hypothetically use it. So now they’re off to get in Voltron, even though Lotor is somewhere in the base and if they take him out they won’t have to worry about the crazy powerful mega bad comet ship but the others are used to listening to Shiro more than they are to listening to him. So he has no choice. Even though he _knows_ this is the wrong call.

What the hell is Shiro thinking??

But whatever, Keith is outnumbered.

They end up fighting Lotor’s crazy ninja lady generals, one of which had been the Galra he and Hunk had encountered in the Weblum (God he wishes he’d taken her out then). None of them are easy targets. Keith is tired of these all-powerful Galra, seriously. Can’t they go back to fighting the sentries and the mooks? Why does it keep getting _harder?_

They get off planet and fight the super-ship, which is annoying and yeah, okay, they definitely need to get rid of this thing. Like now.

And then Shiro goes and tells them to attack the cargo ship and _oh my god Shiro I love you but make up your goddamn mind already_.

“Keith, the cargo ship is getting away!”

Fuck. They’re pinned. If they turn and fire, they’ll get hit. If they don’t, Lotor gets the teludav.

“You’re going to have to lower your shields, shoot the cargo ship, and deal with the consequences.” Shiro tells him.

“We can beat this ship _first_ , and then get the cargo ship!” He argues.

“There’s not enough time! You need to make a decision!”

Keith growls. “Oh for fuck’s sake! Hunk, get your bayard ready. On my cue, we’re gonna drop the shield and shoot the cargo ship. Ready,”

Fuck he hopes his plan works.

“NOW!” They turn and aim the shoulder canon at the cargo ship. Keith closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath, then pulls hard on the controls, forcing Voltron to the side as the purple beam of light from the ship flies right by them and goes straight through the teludav.

The pilots in the ship freak out, and attack, and it gets away. Keith is pissed. Like, so pissed.

When they get back to the ship, he makes a beeline for the observation deck to cool off. Of course, Shiro finds him soon after.

“Hey,” a hand rests on his shoulder. Keith doesn’t look up, still staring out into the void. “I’m sorry I had to step in back there.”

Keith sighs. “I thought I had it under control.”

“You need to learn to pick your battles. Sometimes you need to make hard choices.”

“I’m no good at this.” He whispers.

“Yes, you are.”

Keith looks up, stunned.

“It was your quick thinking that kept Lotor from getting away with the teludav. You’re gonna get there. The Black Lion has chosen you.” Shiro smiles. “I’m proud of you, Keith.”

Keith looks away and sighs. “I still don’t like it.” He murmurs.

“I know. But you will get better. It’ll get, not easier, but less troubling. Trust me.”

Keith looks back up. “You know I do.”

Shiro’s expression softens. “Yeah.” Then he leans down and kisses Keith.

“Hm,” Keith sighs as he pulls away, dropping his head onto Shiro’s shoulder. “Much better without the stubble.”

Shiro laughs quietly. “Are we good?”

“Yeah, Shiro. We’re good.”

“I’m glad.” Shiro steps away and lifts the hand he’s had on Keith’s shoulder to cup his face gently, laying another kiss on the younger man’s forehead, and then he turns and leaves the room.

Keith frowns, touching his cheek. It was cold. Shiro… Shiro had used his _Galra_ hand. Even after all Keith had said, Shiro still _never_ touched Keith with his Galra hand if he could avoid it, unless they were in bed. That was… very weird.

~*~

That night, when they’re lying in bed, Keith can’t stop thinking. He stares up at the ceiling with what must be a pensive frown on his face. Shiro notices.

“Hey, what’s up?” he murmurs, tracing patterns on Keith’s stomach. With his human hand. Maybe Keith was just being paranoid. He probably was.

“Just, too many thoughts in my head, I guess.” Keith sighs, and turns to look at Shiro.

“Hm,” Shiro purrs, leaning down and kissing Keith’s throat. “What was it you’re always saying helps you not think?”

Keith smirks. “Just get up here and kiss me, Shirogane.”

“I can do that.” Shiro hums and kisses him. Keith sighs into Shiro’s mouth and closes his eyes, feeling the older man’s hands skate down his torso to tug at the waistband of his shorts, he lifts up far enough for Shiro to slide them off, then goes about working Shiro’s tank top up over his head.

Shiro’s mouth is back on him the moment his head is free of the shirt, kissing down his neck while his hand trails down to Keith’s hip, and further.

All of a sudden, the dark feeling in his chest overwhelms him, thoughts racing through his mind consisting of nothing but _nonononotrightnostop_. Keith chokes on his breath, suddenly cold and terrified.

 _“Stop.”_ He chokes, voice thick.

Shiro freezes for a split second, then hurriedly sits up, hands held where Keith can see them. “Keith?”

Keith’s breathing is still loud in his ears and he scrambles up to curl into a ball at the head of the bed. He’s shaking, and he can feel tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

“Keith? Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Shiro is saying, but he sounds very far away.

He’s still taking in ragged gulps of air that are burning his throat. He can’t stop trembling. He doesn’t know what’s _wrong_.

“Keith?” Shiro says, quieter. “Can I touch you?”

Keith manages a jerky nod, and then Shiro’s human hand is cupping his cheek.

“Easy, now. You’re okay. You’re not trapped. You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” Keith chokes out. “I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“You don’t need to apologize, Keith. You know that.”

Keith nods, and closes his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control. Trying to stop the room from spinning.

“Are you back with me?” Shiro murmurs a moment later.

“Yeah,” Keith breathes, opening his eyes to Shiro’s worried frown.

“What did I do?” He asks.

“I… I don’t know.” Keith says honestly. “One second I was fine, and the next… I didn’t even get a flashback, I just suddenly freaked out.” He shudders and wraps his arms tighter around himself. “It was weird, I’ve never had an episode like that before.” He looks up at Shiro. “I really don’t know what triggered it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re okay.” He kisses Keith’s forehead gently, then bends down to scoop up Keith’s discarded shorts. “Here.”

Keith nods and slips them back on quickly. Once he has, Shiro maneuvers them both under the blankets and wraps his arms around Keith’s still trembling frame. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith sighs, nuzzling against Shiro’s chest. “I’m-”

“Keith, you don’t need to keep apologizing. I understand. We will do whatever makes you comfortable. So please don’t worry about it.” Shiro kisses the top of his head and tightens his arms around Keith’s waist.

“Okay.” Keith breathes, relaxing into the hold.

“I love you, Keith.”

Keith sighs. “Love you too.”

After Shiro’s fallen asleep, Keith lies awake, still trying to figure out what happened. Shiro hadn’t hit any of his triggers, so what on earth could have set him off? He frowns, tracing the large scar running diagonally across Shiro’s chest as he thinks. Suddenly he stops, eyes widening, and feels along the edges of the scar. It feels…different. Almost like it’s not the same as it was, but why would it be any different? Why would the Galra mess with an old scar?

Keith frowns, pressing his hand flat against Shiro’s chest. Something is wrong. He can feel it.

~*~

The next day, they try to figure out where the hell Lotor could be going and end up getting a history lesson on the original paladins, and how Zarkon went psycho-bonkers-crazy. Also, apparently, Zarkon was married once. Which makes sense in a way because he has a kid, but it’s still a little hard to picture.

Afterwards, Keith grabs Lance as the other paladins go to exit the room.

“Hey, can I get your help with something?” He asks.

Shiro looks over at the pair of them warily. “You two aren’t going to start fighting again, are you?”

“Nah, didn’t ya know? I’m Keith’s _best friend!_ ” Lance coos, slinging an arm around Keith’s shoulders.

Shiro raises an eyebrow and looks at Keith. “Best friend?”

Keith growls under his breath. “Trust me, I’ve regretted telling him that since the moment it happened.”

Lance laughs. “Beeeeest friend!” He sings, poking Keith’s cheek.

“Okay, _best friend_ , are you gonna help me or not?”

“Sure thing, buddy!” Lance chirps, and he marches them out of the room. Keith casts an exasperated look at Shiro, who just laughs.

As soon as the door to the bridge closes behind them, Keith grabs Lance’s arm and drags him quickly down a hall.

“He-!”

“Shhh.” Keith hisses, tugging Lance into an empty room they never use.

“Keith, what’s going on?”

Keith turns after the door closes and takes Lance’s shoulders. “I need your help.”

Lance blinks. “With what?”

“Something is wrong with Shiro.” Keith says, and immediately after saying the words aloud, he feels himself relax. Sometimes he still has to remind himself that he’s not all alone anymore. He can talk to people about things.

Lance frowns. “Wrong how?”

“Ever since he came back, I’ve felt that there was something… _off_ about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but you know how I said that weird feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away? Well, it’s only gotten _worse_ since Shiro’s come back. I don’t know what it is, but I think the Galra might have done something to him while he was gone this time. And that’s not good.” He says in a rush.

Lance looks at him for a long moment, and then nods. “Okay. I trust you know what you’re talking about, but then why come to me? Shouldn’t you go to Pidge, or Hunk, so they can do science to see what’s up?”

“I came to you, because you are a lot more observant then you let on.” Keith says, stepping back and crossing his arms. “You noticed something was off with him too, didn’t you?”

Lance huffs and rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to say anything. I figured it was just my imagination, and that if anything was actually off with him, you’d have picked up on it. Which I guess you did, so I guess it’s not my imagination.”

Keith nods. “What tipped you off?”

Lance smiles softly. “You haven’t called him Takashi, not even once, since he came back.”

Keith’s eyes widened. He hadn’t even noticed.

“Also,” Lance says, leaning back against the wall. “He hasn’t called you ’baby’ or any other sappy nickname. And he doesn’t touch you in front of us anymore. He was always touching you before.”

“I… hadn’t noticed any of that.” Keith says honestly.

Lance raises an eyebrow. “Then what made you suspicious?”

Keith sighs. “At first, it was just the fact that the weird feeling didn’t go away, even though he was home. And then, I started noticing scars that weren’t there before he left. One of his scars is... different, somehow. And, ah,”

Keith looks away. “Last night, we were, well,” he is not going to explain this to Lance, god dammit, “ fooling around. And, I completely freaked out. I didn’t have a flashback, he didn’t do anything to trigger me, I just _panicked_. That has _never_ happened when I’ve been with Shiro before. Ever.”

Lance nods. “I can see how that might tell you something.”

“That’s why I need your help. I need you to help me keep an eye on him. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but if something happens, I need to know that you have my back.”

“I’ve got you covered.” Lance says instantly. “Do you think we should tell Hunk and Pidge?”

Keith shakes his head. “Not until we have something for them to work with. Right now, the less people who know, the better. I don’t want to tip him off. If there’s some sort of crazy Galra brain-jacking going on, I don’t want them to know we’re suspicious. They could hurt him.”

“Fair enough.”

 Thinking that’s all, Keith turns to the door, but pauses as it hisses open, and glances over his shoulder. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance grins. “Anytime, buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Platonic Klance is best Klance. Keith is suspicious but hasn't figured out everything. Yet. Anyway, next time is me taking a crack at what happened between S3 and S4, so how Keith joined the Blades and how he became so distant from everyone. Because that was a fun plot choice. Thank you for hurting my baby, writers.  
> See you Sunday!
> 
> Sometimes, I hate, the life, I made  
> Everything is wrong every time  
> Pushing on I can't escape  
> Everything that comes my way  
> Is haunting me, taking its sweet time  
> Holding on I'm lost in a haze  
> Fighting life to the end of my days  
> \- Narcissistic Cannibal, Korn (EarlyRise Cover)


	26. Leave a Trace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Um. SDCC gave us some... some good stuff. Huh. What... what an amazing thing... and what a great time... to be a Sheith fan*...  
> (*I'm dying)  
> So here! Have Keith being a Blade. That's all this chapter is. No angst in sight! Nope, not at all*!  
> (*I'm lying)

Keith is losing his goddamn mind. He is sure of it.

The castle had set up shop on Olkarion, which is now the base of operations for what was being called the “Voltron Coalition”. Which, cool. People helping them out was nice. And refugees had a place to go. Also very nice. But, was Voltron really required to be here, shaking hands and kissing babies? He knows morale is important, _Shiro_ , but you know what else is important? Finding Lotor’s scrawny ass and kicking the shit out of it. Or, did the others just, _forget_ , that that was still an issue? It certainly seemed like it.

He stalks up to the roof one night in a blazing fury. He and Shiro got in a fight about Voltron’s priorities, _again_ , and he needed to cool down before he went to bed. He never wanted to go to bed angry with Shiro. Shiro obviously felt the same, as he was always still awake when Keith returned to their room, no matter how late he came back.

“Fuck the fucking coalition and fucking morale and fucking _smile for the camera, Keith!_ ” Keith growls under his breath. “What happened to _you’re the leader now Keith, it’s your call on what to do!_ Well you’re sure as shit fooling me, Shirogane.”

“Rough night?”

Keith jumps a mile. “Son of a _bitch_ , can you not??” Keith gasps, turning to glare at Kolivan.

Kolivan and all the Blades not currently involved in a mission have also settled on Olkarion for the time being. He’s been working closely with Team Voltron to gather intel and sabotage the Galra fleets. He has also been “helping” Keith master his use of his mother’s blade, and helping with his anger issues that, no surprise, stem from his Galra heritage.

Kolivan quirks an eyebrow. “You expect the leader of a secret rebel group to make noise?”

Keith huffs. “Well. No, but a little warning would be appreciated.”

Kolivan snorts and walks over to him. “Got in another spat with your mate, huh?”

“…Yes.” Keith sighs. “I just…I feel so _useless_ sitting here. I want to be out there actually doing something. I’m not cut out for all this handholding and PR crap.”

“PR?”

Ah. Right. Galra don’t have the same shorthand. “Public Relations.”

Kolivan nods, and smirks. “I knew someone who was the exact same way. He hated being grounded on base, he always wanted to be out on a mission, doing something productive.”

Keith glances up. “Who?”

Kolivan’s eyes narrow and he looks out over the city. “Thace.”

Keith’s gut twists. Thace’s death… it still fucks with him. He wishes he’d been able to do something.

“You know,” Kolivan says, glancing back to him. “If you’re looking for something to do, I could use some extra help with a mission.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Why ask me?”

“You forget, you passed the Trials and awoke a blade. For all intents and purposes, you _are_ a Blade of Marmora.”

Keith frowns and pulls out his Marmora dagger, turning it over in his hands thoughtfully. “I guess.”

“And I really do need an extra set of hands. We’re spread very thin, and I think the other paladins could spare you for a day or two.”

Keith sighs and looks up at the Galra. “You know what, fuck it. I’ll help. What are we doing?”

Kolivan smirks. “Sabotage.”

Oh _hell_ yes.

~*~

Keith walks into his and Shiro’s room a couple hours after their blowout. Shiro sits up on the bed when he walks in.

“Hey.” He says quietly.

Keith sighs and closes their door. “Hi Shiro.”

Shiro stands and walks towards him carefully, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

Keith turns and buries his face in Shiro’s shirt. “Me too.”

Shiro combs his human fingers through Keith’s hair absently for several moments while they both just stand there.

“Shiro, I have to talk to you about something.”

“Hm?”

“I kind of agreed to help Kolivan with an off-world mission?” He says, preparing for _another_ fight to break out.

Shiro pauses, then continues stroking his fingers in Keith’s hair. “I think it’s a great idea.”

Keith pulls back and looks up at his boyfriend suspiciously. “You… do.”

Shiro smiles. “I can tell you’re getting stir-crazy. I think it would be good for you to get off planet for a few days and get some of that energy out of your system.”

 _It’s not like I can do it another way_. Keith thinks with a pang of something dark in his gut. Ever since his unannounced freak-out, he hasn’t tried to sleep with Shiro again.

“Yeah? Okay, well. Good.”

“Voltron shouldn’t be required for a few days and the others can handle things without you.” Shiro continues, brushing Keith’s bangs out of his eyes. “So you’re cleared for it.”

Keith wants to say something about how if he’s the leader he shouldn’t have to get _permission_ but swallows it down. He doesn’t want to fight again tonight.

“Okay. We’re not leaving for a couple of days so I’ll help until then.”

Shiro hums and kisses him briefly before tugging him to the bed. “Come on, time for bed.”

Keith lays awake for a long time. This is not unusual nowadays, but this time, it’s from _excitement_.

~*~

He gets a Marmora suit, which, _badass_. And he and Kolivan and another Blade member, Regris (who also happens to be a Galra hybrid, Keith wonders if Kolivan planned that), sneak onto a Galra vessel and blow it up. When he gets back, he’s beaming, and Shiro is there to greet him. He stares at the Marmora suit for a long time first.

Keith smirks and puts a hand on his hip. “My eyes are up here, Shirogane.”

Shiro coughs and looks up from where he’d been ogling Keith’s chest. “Uh, welcome back.”

Keith laughs and hauls Shiro down to kiss him. The older man makes a startled noise before hooking an arm around Keith’s waist and pulling him flush against his body.

“Ew, gross. Get a room.” A voice drawls from somewhere behind Shiro.

Keith breaks away from Shiro’s panting mouth and looks over his shoulder.

“Pidge.”

The Green Paladin makes a gagging noise. “You guys are so gross. Why are my pseudo-brothers so gross?”

“You love us.” Keith grins and pulls away from Shiro so he can walk over and ruffle Pidge’s hair.

She does the very mature thing and sticks out her tongue. “Welcome back. Nice suit.”

Keith preens. “I know right? It’s so cool.”

“Is Kolivan letting you keep it?”

“Yeah. He says I’ll need it, for my Marmora training.”

Shiro seems to tune back into the conversation then, having spent the past few minutes staring at Keith’s ass (Keith is quite pleased that the suit is so useful). “Training? Kolivan’s going to train you to fight like a Blade?”

Keith grins. “Yeah, says he was impressed by my ability, but that I could do better.” He snorts. “So I told him to prove it. And then he told me I was a cocky little shit and I was damn lucky he was gonna need me for more missions.”

Shiro beams at him. “Keith, that’s great! I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

Keith is super psyched for this, seriously. This may be his opportunity to learn about his past. And Shiro knows that.

“Just don’t forget about little old us, yeah?” Pidge asks, punching his arm lightly.

“Of course not.” Keith says immediately. “You and the other paladins are my family.”

Pidge stares at him, and then narrows her eyes. “Keith.”

“Uh,”

“Keith, I am going to hug you now.”

Ah. “Go for it.” He grins.

She throws her arms around his waist. “We love you, you complete loser.”

“Yeah.” Keith says quietly. “I love you guys too.”

And he means it.

~*~

The next day he starts training with the Blades. It’s hard as hell, but he’s learning techniques that actually fit his fighting style. No martial arts ever seemed to fit him on Earth, but he guesses that’s because he does fight like a Galra, as Zarkon had said. As much as he hates to admit the ugly purple bastard was right.

He starts sparring with Kolivan, who seems to have taken a personal interest in him. Which is kind of… flattering? He likes Kolivan. He’s a no-nonsense dude. And he genuinely seems to want Keith to do well.

“Even if you choose not to go on another mission with us again, I want you to know how to fight.” Kolivan had told him one evening. “If something I teach you helps keep your ass alive out in the field, I’ll be happy.”

In other words… Kolivan wasn’t trying to teach him for his own benefit. Which, wow. After so many people who were only out to exploit him on Earth, here were people who… didn’t want to do that. They want to help. Like Shiro did.

He goes to bed that night in a very good mood.

“You seem chipper.” Shiro says as Keith slides into bed.

“I’m totally pumped. Kolivan is awesome. The Blade is awesome. And I… I feel like they get me. I don’t feel like a freak.”

“Do we make you feel that way?” Shiro asks, frowning.

“Of course not.” Keith says, combing his fingers through the white patch of Shiro’s hair. “Of course you don’t. Any of you, but the Blade are more people who aren’t out to get me, which is really nice after every asshole I ever had to deal with on Earth, you know?”

“I get it.” Shiro says, leaning forwards to kiss Keith’s forehead. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I really am, Shiro.” He smiles.

He lies awake again that night, but just so he can go over the roll Kolivan taught him in his head again. He absentmindedly traces Shiro’s scars as he thinks, but when his hand ghosts over the one across his chest, he pauses. It still feels… off. Keith still can’t figure out why he thinks Shiro’s scar feels different, but it does, and it just makes Keith remember that something is _wrong_ with Shiro.

His mood is instantly sobered, and he falls asleep uneasily.

~*~

Keith wakes up screaming.

There had been blood. And lightning. An empty cockpit and a missing man. Gone. Again. Why does he have to keep being gone?

“Keith?” A hand touches his back.

Keith turns.

Shiro. No, not Shiro, not Shiro, can’t be Shiro, Shiro is _gone_.

Keith is crying, and still screaming, maybe. He can’t tell, the sound of emptiness is too loud in his ears. Shiro-not-Shiro reaches out again and Keith jerks back, falling out of the bed, standing quickly and wrapping his arms around himself.

“No!” He hears himself scream. “No no no!”

“Keith it’s okay-”

 _“No!”_ tears are pouring down his face. They feel hot and thick. More like blood than water and salt. He wants to go back. Before he disappeared again. When things were finally _good_ again. When he had him _back_.

“Keith-”

Shiro-not-Shiro stands from the bed and reaches out for him. “It’s okay, you’re safe. Come here,”

 _“Don’t touch me!”_ He wails and the hand freezes, but Keith doesn’t notice. He stumbles back blindly and trips on nothing, falling to the ground in front of the door. And then the door hisses open.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Lance barks, and then looks down. “Whoa, Keith, buddy, you okay?”

“No,” Keith whimpers, curling up on himself. “Nononono…”

Lance’s eyes widen, and then he turns to glare at Shiro. “What the fuck did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Shiro says weakly, voice hollow with shock. “I woke up and he was having a nightmare.”

“No,” Keith whispers again.

“Keith,” Shiro murmurs brokenly, stepping forwards.

 _“Don’t,”_ Keith gasps. “Please, please, don’t,”

Lance glares at Shiro even harder. “Sounds like _something_ happened.”

“I swear to god, Lance, I didn’t do anything! You know I could never hurt Keith!” Shiro says, clearly distraught at this turn of events.

“Do I?” Lance mutters under his breath, then he kneels next to Keith. “Hey buddy, it’s cool-”

Keith yelps and jerks back. Lance curses.

“Ah, está bien. Español. Puedo hacer español ¿Ver? Aquí estoy, hablando español. No sé lo que hizo, Keith, pero juro que no lo dejaré volver a hacerlo. Estoy aquí para ti, amigo. No dejaré que te lastime.”

Keith finally realizes he’s been shaking, and tries to stop, focusing on the foreign syllables that pour out of Lance’s mouth to orient himself.

“Lance,”

“Hey, you back? I’m here, buddy. You’re cool. Everything’s cool.”

Keith nods shakily. “Yeah.” He rasps. “Sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it, man.”

“Keith,” Shiro whispers, and Keith flinches.

Lance’s eyes narrow. “What the fuck did he do?”

Keith sighs and stands shakily. “He was telling the truth, Lance. He didn’t do anything. I was just in a really bad flashback is all.” He glances up. “Sorry for scaring you, Shiro.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re okay.” Shiro sighs, and Keith allows himself to be tugged into Shiro’s arms. He brings his hand up to lay over Shiro’s scar. And suddenly, everything clicks into place. Keith knows why it feels wrong. Why _Shiro_ feels wrong.

He pulls out of the embrace then.

“I’m okay now.” He says again, then turns to Lance. “Thanks for talking me down.” And he hugs the other boy, pressing in close so he can whisper “I’m okay. He didn’t do anything. Go back to sleep Lance, we’ll talk later.”

When he pulls back, Lance is frowning at him, but nods carefully. “I’m down the hall if you need anything.” He says, then nods to Shiro, and leaves the room, door hissing shut behind him.

He lets Shiro tug him back into the bed. He lies there while the man murmurs small comforts to him, until falling asleep halfway through a sentence. Keith puts his hand back over the scar. Keith doesn’t know how he didn’t realize before, but he now knows with 100% certainty: this scar is not where it had been when Shiro left. It was too far to the right.

And that isn’t right. Scars don’t _move._

Which means-

Well. It could only mean one thing.

And Keith closes his eyes, fighting back more tears. The dark feeling in his chest swelling back to the black pit it was whenever Shiro was gone.

Because, as Keith is now aware, he still is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Keith knows. Haggar may have gone to the trouble of recreating all Shiro's scars, but she wasn't exactly precise. How could she have known Keith would be so intimately familiar with the Champion's body?  
> So angst is all there's going to be for a while because next chapter is when Keith distances himself (for obvious reasons in this AU) and gets yelled at (which is worse for him in this AU) and leaves Voltron (to get away from the clone). It's gonna be peachy.  
> Lance Translation: "Ah, that's right. Spanish. I can do Spanish. See? Here I am, speaking Spanish. I don't know what he did, Keith, but I swear I won't let him do it again. I'm here for you, buddy. I won't let him hurt you."  
> I know this time the translation is super bad so I'm sorry. Please correct me.
> 
> You talk far too much for someone so unkind  
> I will wipe the salt off of my skin  
> And I'll admit that I got it wrong  
> And there is grey between the lines  
> And you had best believe  
> That you cannot build what I don't need  
> And I know I need to feel relief  
> And I know you'll never fold  
> But I believe nothing that I'm told  
> And I know I need to feel relief  
> \- Leave a Trace, CHVRCHES
> 
> Also, I have a spoiler-ish question so: 
> 
> SPOILERS FOR SEASON 7 BELOW. DON'T READ THE REST OF THE COMMENTS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING.
> 
> Okay so now that we know Shiro had a bf and had a debilitating illness, I want to go back and write those things into the early chapters of LOTRO (and part 2 of To Love and Be Loved, for those who read that too). My question is how to do that. Should I just go back and edit the respective chapters? Would that be too difficult? I want to include Adam as he's going to play a part in canon, I just want to see if you all would be willing to go back and re-read parts, or more appropriately IF you would go back and re-read parts if I edit them. I'm probably going to either way for my own sake, just wondering what people's thoughts are!


	27. Ricochet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst! Angst! Keith leaving and everyone hating him and Shiro not stopping him! Angst!

Keith keeps going out with the Blades. Endlessly. He ignores the Black Lion, and Voltron, and Shiro.

Shiro. Ha.

He feels so stupid for not realizing it sooner. Shiro would never go over his head like this. He would never tell Keith he had control, only to snatch it back as soon as it suited him.

He would never _order_ Keith to do anything.

He’s just gotten back from another mission with Kolivan and Regris, and Regris had almost gotten his ass killed, and their info was spotty but _good_ and Shiro wouldn’t even _try_ to listen to him. He just glares at Keith out of the corner of his eye and barks at him to get to his lion. Keith grits his teeth. Yeah, this isn’t Shiro.

So where is _his_ Shiro?

He needs to keep searching. The clone made him give up for a while, but it’s not like there had been any trail to follow in the first place. And the presence of a clone suggests that Haggar may have him, or at least some part of the empire. That’s something. It gives him a sliver of hope.

 But for now, the clone is all he has. Keith grits his teeth as he descends into the tunnel leading to the zipline. Still _a_ Shiro. Still someone who loves Keith. But…

But still not his.

The others are pissed at him and he’s not sure he can blame them. He knows he’s been pulling away ever since he figured it out. He can’t bring himself to pretend, though. He can’t act as if everything is A-Okay. And he can never, _ever_ tell them the truth. Because he’s not the only one who needs Shiro. The others look to him for leadership, as well they should. Keith may be the Black Paladin (he shudders in the pilot’s seat as he thinks this) but he’s no leader. He’s done what he has to while Shiro’s been out of commission but now he’s back, in some form at least.

When they get back from escorting refugees, Hunk and Allura give him disappointed looks, Pidge is scowling but also looks kind of hurt, and Lance is giving him a strange look of mixed anger/worry. He waves off the Red Paladin (again, he flinches, not because he thinks Lance is ill suited, but because he misses Red, so much) and goes to find Shiro.

He lifts off in Black and spots his boyfriend (sort of? he still doesn’t know what to think of the imposter) standing at the edge of one of the higher buildings, arms crossed and face pensive. Keith lands Black behind Shiro and steps out, tugging off his helmet and coming to stand next to the other man.

“Were you able to speak to Kolivan about the intel?” He asks without a greeting. It’s not as if Shiro hadn’t seen the lion land.

“I did. And we need to find out all we can about that quintessence.” Shiro turns to him with a concerned expression, and Keith braces himself.

“But more importantly, Voltron needs a strong leader.”

“I know they do,” Keith starts, “and it should be you.”

“Keith, we’ve discussed this before. Besides, we both know that the Black Lion has chosen you.” He says it with a smile, like he’s proud. And Shiro _would_ be proud. But…

“You only tried once,” Keith urges. Even a Shiro that wasn’t the original would be better at leading. Any Shiro would make his leadership look like the crap job that it was. “You had a connection with the Black Lion and I know it’s still there,” he hopes, “if you just give it another shot I-”

Keith takes a step forwards, pleading, but Shiro backs away. It shouldn’t sting as much as it does. This isn’t his Shiro, but… it still feels like a rejection from the man he loves more than anything.

“Keith, we all have a part to play. This is mine now. I’ve come to terms with that, now you need to.”

Keith grits his teeth and looks down.

“I support your decision to continue with your Marmora training,” Shiro says, tone gentling, “But not at the expense of the team. They need you, Keith. They need you to be their leader.”

Keith shakes his head slowly. “No, they need _you_ to be their leader. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not exactly good at it.”

“You’re new at it,” Shiro corrects, lifting his human hand to squeeze Keith’s shoulder. “But that doesn’t mean your bad.”

“You weren’t there for Thayserix.” Keith mutters. “Look, I’ll… I’m going to do what I have to, Shiro. I will, but it may not be what you want.”

Shiro’s brow furrows. “How do you mean?”

Keith grits his teeth again and leans forwards, pressing his forehead to Shiro’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.” He murmurs.

“Keith…”

Keith pulls away and ducks out from under Shiro’s grip. “I’m tired. I’m gonna go back to the castle.” He turns and walks into Black before Shiro can call him back. As he flies towards her hanger, the black torrent of pain and despair in his stomach heightens, and he grips the controls. He’s going to do what he has to, for the good of the team, and for himself.

~*~

The next mission he goes out on, Regris dies.

He almost does too, and thinks that may not have been so bad. Shiro would have had to step up, and Keith could finally be with _his_ Shiro. With Takashi. Assuming he was dead, which, okay, Keith doesn’t believe – can’t believe – but, whatever. But no, Kolivan had to save his stupid ass. Seems a little hypocritical, the old man going out of his way to save someone too stupid to live. He glares up at Kolivan from where he’s panting on the floor of the ship after nearly suffocating in space (after said rescue) but the Blade Leader only looks down at him impassively.

Keith closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Why?”

Kolivan doesn’t ask. “Because maybe this time, you will have learned your lesson.”

Keith growls. “Fuck off.”

“Or not.”

Kolivan leaves him there, on the floor, panting and shaking, wondering why he couldn’t have died instead.

When he gets back to the castle, the black pit has expanded, again. It seems to do that every time he returns to the castle now, though this time he knows some of it is for Regris.

He runs smack-dab into Allura, and sighs. “Allura, I know you’re mad at me, but I’m not in the mood for a lecture.”

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” The princess says quietly, turning to face him fully, even taking a step towards him. “I heard what happened on your mission.”

Oh, well now he feels like an ass. “Thanks.”

“I know how important the work you’ve been doing with the Blades is. They are incredible allies, and have been instrumental in our victories over the Galra.”

Keith’s jaw clenches. He can hear the “but” coming. He breathes out through his nose slowly, and pushes back his hood.

“And while the news of a new quintessence supply line is deeply troubling, I cannot help but feel-”

“I said I didn’t want a lecture.” He doesn’t even say it harshly, he’s just… tired.

Allura looks down. “Keith, since our battle with Zarkon, we’ve been able to bolster our forces by uniting those previously ruled by the Galra under a common symbol: Voltron. It’s so much more than a weapon, it’s become a symbol of freedom and hope for the oppressed to rally around.”

Keith isn’t looking at her anymore. Guess she was just going to ignore the “my friend just died so I don’t feel up for a speech” vibes and words he’s been putting out.

“I suppose what I’m trying to say is, the Marmora can go on without you. they have for thousands of years. Voltron cannot. _We_ cannot.” Then she walks passed him like he’s the one who’s disrespected her. And he gets where she’s coming from, he does, but they don’t _get it_. Of course they don’t. And he can’t tell them, not really. He’s hoping that soon they’ll get fed up with him, try Shiro in Black again, and he can just… disappear.

It’s a terrible thing, hoping his friends will hate him, but if that’s what has to happen for them to get the leader they almost need and for him to distance himself from the facsimile of his lover, then so be it.

When he gets to his and Shiro’s room, he leans back against the door and brings his knees to his chest, tucking his face against them. He doesn’t cry, he’s not that upset, but his breaths do start coming ragged and shaky. He just wants to get out of here.

He hears the bathroom door hiss open, and footsteps padding out, pausing when Shiro must catch sight of him.

“Keith?”

He doesn’t answer.

Shiro walks over and slides down next to him, slinging an arm over his shoulders and tugging him closer.

“I heard about what happened. I’m sorry about Regris.”

“Are you going to lecture me too?” Keith rasps.

“No.”

Keith lets out an unsteady breath and leans against Shiro. The other man says nothing more, just holds Keith against him while he calms down. It makes Keith want to tear up, even more than Regris’ death, even more than his friends hating him. Because this man may not be his Shiro, but oh, he is so, so very close.

~*~

He keeps going out on missions with the Blade. Over, and over. And the rest of the team is beginning to hate him a little more every day, he thinks. Good, that may yet make this easier.

He’s out on another scouting mission when he hears the news. Coalition ships were attacked, and the lions had needed help. But then the Black Lion had appeared, and Voltron had been formed in the nick of time. He closes his eyes as he walks towards the bridge, knowing they’re going to yell at him, but he’s prepared.

The doors hiss open and Keith steps in, head down. “Guys, I-” He freezes though, when he looks up.

The yelling, he could handle. The shouts and the curses and blame hurled in his face. All of that, he could handle. But this… their silent, hostile faces freeze him. They really do hate him now. He’d seen it happening but this, it just confirms it. The black pit grows again.

He looks away so they don’t see his expression. “I heard what happened. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“You keep saying you’re sorry, but your actions say otherwise.” Allura bites out. “Do you realize your actions put the team in jeopardy?”

“And not just the team, the refugees as well!” Lance adds.

“Matter of fact, the entire quadrant was in danger.” Pidge snaps.

Keith takes a deep breath. Stay calm. Don’t break down, they’ll either think it’s a bid to make them feel guilty, or they won’t care at all. “This isn’t the way I wanted this to go down.” He says honestly. He was hoping they’d do this themselves, he hates that innocent people were caught up in his angst game. He shakes the thought off and steps forwards, looking at all of them. “But if there’s a bright side to any of this, it’s that my absence allowed Shiro to re-establish his bond with the Black Lion. He can finally be the leader I was unable to be. I’m not meant to pilot the Black Lion.”

Allura suddenly looks stunned. “Is that why you’ve been pulling away from us?”

Keith looks down again. “Yeah, I suppose that’s part of it.”

“Part of it? What’s the other part?” Hunk asks.

He can’t tell them about Shiro. He was never going to, so he tells them what he’s doing to get away and lets them fill in what they will. “The Blades have been making real headway tracking the source of this new quintessence. They’ve been able to piece together a large network of hidden supply lines that have been secretly transporting it for, who knows how long. And there’s good reason to believe it could lead us directly to Lotor.”

He swallows. He’s looking around at all of them, pleading with them silently to not hate him forever for this. “A mission is being planned to infiltrate the supply line. It could take weeks, maybe months to pull off but, if there is a chance we have-” he pauses, jaw clenching, “ _I_ have to take it. I need to be on that mission.” He clenches his fists and looks at Shiro.

“Shiro, you are the rightful leader of this team. And you proved it today by reconnecting with the Black Lion. It was always meant to be yours.”

Shiro stares at him for a long moment, then walks forwards and claps a hand onto his shoulder, startling the younger man. “Keith…”

He’s expecting arguments. The “ _you don’t have to do this”_ and “ _can we talk about this first?” and “I don’t want to lose you for months at a time”._ Or even _“Keith, I can’t just let you walk out that door when I know there’s something you aren’t telling us”_. That’s what his Shiro would have said, and more.

But he forgets sometimes, this isn’t his Shiro.

“If this is what you feel is right, then we won’t try to stop you.” Keith feels a pang in his chest, sharper and hotter than the black feeling in his gut. He wonders if this is what heartbreak feels like. “But just know that we’re here for you whenever you need us.”

Keith musters up a tiny smile for that. “I know you are, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

Shiro releases his shoulder only to tug him closer, using one hand to tip Keith’s head back so he can kiss him. Keith closes his eyes. Not his Shiro, but it still feels so similar. He can’t deny himself this. One last time.

Shiro breaks the kiss and pulls him into a tight hug, causing Keith to sigh.

“I can’t be left out of this!” Hunk sobs, then suddenly he’s being group-hugged.

“We’re really going to miss you!” Pidge says in a quavering voice, arm tightening around Keith’s neck.

“Yeah, who am I gonna make fun of?” Lance teases from somewhere to his left.

“I know you’ll make us proud.” Allura murmurs from behind Pidge.

He basks in the embrace for a few more moments, before extracting himself. He says his goodbyes, smile soft and happy on his face as the doors slide open, but as soon as he turns away, he lets it fall.

The walk down to the pods is long and silent. He’s preparing for takeoff when he hears his name being called. He glances up to see Lance striding towards him, still in full paladin armor and a frown on his face.

“Lance?”

“Okay, what the fuck is going on? Why are you really leaving? I know things aren’t the best right now and you hated being the Black Paladin, but, I can’t believe that even Lotor would make you just up and leave your friends, your _family_.”

Keith sighs. He forgets sometimes that Lance is more observant than most give him credit for.

“So tell me what’s wrong.” Lance pleads, gripping Keith’s shoulders. “Is this about Shiro? I know he’s been off and that yeah, he may be all head-jacked or something, but you love him! I can’t believe-”

“That’s not Shiro.” Keith says quietly, and Lance’s jaw clicks shut.

“I, what?”

Keith shakes his head and pulls Lance in for a hug. “Goodbye, Lance. Be, be careful.”

Then he turns and climbs into the pod. He can still see Lance in the bay behind him, unmoving, as he pulls out.

Once he’s out of sight of Olkarion and has confirmation from Kolivan that someone’s coming to meet him, he curls up in his seat and puts his head in his hands, shaking.

He’s not only lost Shiro now, but everything else as well.

The black pit expands, and one of these days, Keith knows it’s going to swallow him whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get some more Shiro POV now because... Keith was kinda MIA for the next two seasons. Which I still dislike but he's home now so whatever.  
> Also, regarding what I said last time, I was never intending to re-write whole chunks of the fic! It's not like I'd restructure the beginning around what we know to be canon, all I want to do is add a few sentences here, maybe a paragraph there, just so it fits better with canon. I know some people don't want me to change things because they thought I was going to rewrite the first ten chapters, so I hope that this makes it a little more clear!   
> On another note, I will be away at another Con this weekend (where there will be a panel with Josh Keaton and Kimberly Brooks I'm dying) so I may not feel up to posting on Sunday! I probably will, but just in case. Have a good week!
> 
> And I was trying just to get you  
> And now I'm dying to forget you  
> Cause I knew I couldn't catch you  
> So I left the sky, and I fell behind  
> We were one in the same  
> Running like moths to the flame  
> You'd hang on every word I'd say  
> But now they only ricochet  
> We were falling away  
> You left me with a bittersweet taste  
> But when I send my heart your way  
> It bounces off the walls you made  
> Ricochet  
> \- Ricochet, Starset


	28. Youngblood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm tired but the con was fun and the panel only had one cringy comment and a lot of funny ones and I got to meet Kimberly and Josh and now here's a chapter enjoy!

Shiro knows the others are worried about Keith, and he is too. Of course he is. The man he loves most is going on a dangerous infiltration mission and they may not hear from him for months. How can he not be worried? But he knows Keith, knows he’s stronger than anyone else, and knows in his heart that his boyfriend is going to come back unscathed. So he doesn’t think about it. If he thinks about Keith and his absence… well, he probably wouldn’t be able to lead.

He’s terrified for his lover, but he won’t let anyone else know that.

They have a few days after Keith leaves (and oh, if that thought doesn’t kill him every day) where things are relatively quiet. Pidge goes to try and find Matt, Hunk and Lance go off and do… whatever it is they do during downtime, and he and Allura coordinate with Reiner to expand the refugee city.

But then Pidge comes back.

They are all waiting for her when she steps out of the Green Lion, and the mice run right up to her.

She stands, and Matt walks down the ramp behind her. Shiro sighs in relief. So he is safe. Good, maybe Shiro’s bid to save him had been worth it after all, and not just detrimental to them both.

He sighs when Matt flirts with Allura. Some things never change. But then Matt glances up and catches sight of him, and the older Holt’s eyes widen.

“Shiro?” He grins and darts forwards. “It’s so good to see you! Um, sir.” He skids to a halt and holds out his hand, causing Shiro to sigh internally. He grabs Matt’s hand and yanks his best friend into a hug.

“What’s with this ‘sir’ nonsense? There aren’t any commanding officers here to preform for, no need to get all formal on me.” He teases.

“You deserve it after everything.” Matt says quietly and pulls back. “I owe you… _everything_.”

“You’re my best friend, Matt. Of course I did what I did.”

Matt shakes his head slowly, and smiles. “I just, I know you wanted to get home to Keith. And thinking you might die and never see him again… that must have been tough. It still must be tough.”

Shiro’s eyes widen and he glances up at Pidge in shock. “You didn’t tell him?”

The Green Paladin grins and pushes her glasses up her nose. “Figured it’d be better coming from you.”

“Tell me what? What’s going on?” Matt demands, looking up at Shiro suspiciously.

“Matt, Keith is here. He’s been out here with us since I escaped.” Shiro tells him, smiling softly.

Matt’s eyes go wide. “Keith’s… here? Where? Why didn’t he come out to meet us? Is he okay? Are you guys still stupidly in love?”

“We are,” Shiro says, “And as far as we know he’s fine, but he’s not with us right now. He’s working with the Blade of Marmora. We can call him up if you want, but he’s not here in person.”

Matt frowns and eyes him curiously. “And you’re… okay with that. With him running off alone and getting into who knows what kind of shenanigans and you can’t be there to watch his back.” He says slowly.

“Well I don’t like it, but I’m dealing with it.”

Matt frowns. “Who are you and what have you done with Takashi Shirogane.”

Shiro rolls his eyes. “I don’t have to be with him every second, Matt.”

“You used to.”

“There were… circumstances. But now we’re all used to it. Besides, Keith’s a good fighter.”

Matt still looks like he’s prepared to pout, but sighs. “Whatever you say, Shiro. But I know you’re freaking out.”

Well, _duh_.

He tells Matt that of course, the rest of them will help the Holt siblings find their father, and then they all go into the castle and call up the Blade on the screen.

“Shiro. What is it?” Kolivan asks as soon as the screen blinks on.

“Hi, Kolivan. Is Keith around? We have some news for him.”

“Of course. One moment.”

The screen blacks out, and while they wait, they fill Matt in on who the Blade are. Pidge had briefly explained, but together, they were able to lay it out in more detail.

“Wait,” Matt says, once they’re done. “If they’re an all Galra organization, then why the hell is Keith with them?”

Just then, the screen flickers back to life, and Keith is there.

“What’s up Shi-” he starts, then freezes when he sees Matt.

Matt beams up at Keith’s frozen image and gives a little wave. “Heya, buddy. Long time no see.”

Keith is still staring, wide-eyed, and then his face twists into a scowl. “I’m gonna fucking kill you, Holt.”

“Ah, and there he is. Glad to see you haven’t changed a bit, Keith.” Matt coos.

Keith shakes his head, fighting down a smile. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Matt waves a hand. “As safe as any of us can be.” He sighs, “But what about you? Th others were just telling me about this Blade thing, but I still don’t get why you’re with them.”

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “Because my mother was a Blade.”

Matt blinks rapidly for a moment and Shiro wonders if Keith broke him.

“You… _you’re half Galra!?_ ”

Keith shrugs again. “Part Galra, at least. Not sure if my mother was full or half or what, but, yeah. It was an… interesting revelation.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet. I always knew you were weird, but half alien?” Matt says, grinning a bit now. “Now that’s a surprise.”

Keith rolls his eyes, smiling fondly. “Why did I want you back again?”

“Because I’m awesome.”

Keith sighs, then glances off screen and nodding. “I gotta go, but I’m glad you’re back.” He glances at Shiro then, and his eyes sadden. Shiro narrows his own in concern.

“I’ll talk to you later, Shiro.” He says quietly, then disconnects.

Matt looks over at him and frowns. “What was that about? Is everything alright between you two?”

“Of course.” Shiro says, but really, now he’s not so sure.

~*~

Keith’s a little lost, in the Blade.

No one treats him differently because he’s human (or appears to be) or even because he’s so small compared to all of them, but they are all very aloof, by the book, and not keen on being friendly. Even the younger ones around his age are more soldier than teenager, after growing up during a war. Keith gets it. They’re all soldiers fighting mostly on the front lines, but it still makes him feel lost. He sticks with Kolivan a lot, which the Leader doesn’t seem to mind, especially since every time he has a video meeting with Voltron, if Keith isn’t with him, he gets hounded until he brings Keith in.

It should be comforting, to know they want to see him. But if they’re so concerned about him, then why don’t they ever get in touch with him themselves? Shiro’s called his personal line a half-dozen times in the three weeks he’s been away. Not nearly as many times as he thinks the real Shiro would, but it shows he cares at least. And he always sounds so worried. Keith wants to hate him, because it’s not real, but he can’t. The clone of his lover seems to care about him more than the real versions of his so-called friends.

To be fair, Lance calls him once, right after he gets there, trying to get Keith to tell him what’s wrong again, to explain what he’d said. He doesn’t, and Lance drops it. He’s messaged Keith a couple of times, and Keith rolls his eyes at the absurd text speech, but those messages are few and far between.

In short, he feels more alone than he’s been since he was sixteen and just starting at the Garrison. Before Shiro. Before anything. It never bothered him before. Now that he knows what the opposite feels like – the feeling of home, of belonging – it’s a crushing weight, and makes the black pit grow darker.

Despair is familiar to him now. That should be more concerning than it is.

Their mission to infiltrate the supply line is shorter than expected, but not as fruitful as they’d hoped. They tracked it farther than they had before, but still knew nothing more than they had. They plant trackers and hope for the best, before returning to headquarters.

Keith does not return to the castle. There’s no point. What would he do? Take over as Black Paladin again? No, not after all he’d done to ensure Shiro could lead. Become an ambassador, like Shiro had? That would end in utter disaster. No, he was better off with the Blade. It’s for the best.

That’s what he keeps telling himself, at least. Maybe eventually he’ll believe it.

~*~

He learns that Zarkon is alive and hunting Lotor during the next call with the Paladins. He grits his teeth, anger briefly replacing the hollow feeling he’s become accustomed to.

After everything they’d done, after all their planning and fighting and Shiro _fucking vanishing_ , Zarkon was still kicking. It wasn’t fair.

He hears about the fight, and what the team has managed to glean from it all, and it helps them in their quest to track the quintessence, but only a little.

For a while after this revelation, there’s a bit of a lull. Keith goes out on any mission that will take him, to keep himself occupied. So he can do _something_. He hates feeling useless, especially in the middle of a war. But eventually, Kolivan grounds him.

“You have been going out non-stop for the past two months.” The Blade leader tells him when he tries to fight it. “You have not had a single moment of rest since you got here, kit.”

“I don’t have time to rest. There’s a goddamn war on! There’s a saying on Earth: I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I live by that saying. Ask anyone.” He snaps.

 “All the more reason to force you to take a break.” Kolivan snarls back. “Take a few quintants for yourself. That’s an _order_ , Keith.”

Keith growls but knows he won’t be changing Kolivan’s mind. The old man is as stubborn as he is. Maybe that’s another Galra trait he inherited, who knows.

He storms back to his tiny room and throws himself into his bunk. Great. Now what?

He sighs and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. He hates moments like this, when he has nothing to do. It makes him think of Shiro. Both of them. He wonders where his Shiro is. He wonders what sort of tortures he’s been through by now. Wonders if he’ll forgive Keith for not looking for him, and for being with his clone.

He thinks about the clone Shiro too. He keeps leaving Keith little messages, hoping he’s safe and doing well and that he believes in him. He’s acting like Shiro. He doesn’t think he’s quite as invested as his Shiro would be – his Shiro would have wanted to talk it out before he left for the Blade – but he’s the same where it really matters. Keith may not be in love with him – he’s not Shiro after all – but he does think he loves him. Like he loves any of the others in the castle. Because after everything they’ve been through, he does love them.

But that makes being around clone Shiro all the harder. He can’t look at him and not think of _his_ Shiro, and that’s not fair to either of them. It hurts too much.

Keith groans and sits up. This is why he doesn’t want to have time to think.

“Hey, Keith!”

Ilun ducks into his room, ears swiveling around like crazy.

“Yeah?”

“You might wanna come see this. Your paladin friends are on TV.”

Then Ilun disappears. Keith quirks an eyebrow.

…what?

Keith wanders out to find some of the younger Blades hovering around a screen, ears flicking at the strange noises coming from it. When they see Keith coming, they wave him over and make sure he can see the screen clearly. He’s… not sure what he’s seeing, at first.

It’s the others, on screen, jumping around and striking poses and shouting a lot.

“It’s called the Voltron show.” Someone – Vrek? – says. “Your paladins are entertaining to say the least.”

“What frequency is this on?” Keith asks, still baffled.

“One ninety-two point seven three.”

Keith hurries back to his room and pulls out his tablet, punching in the frequency and waiting as it syncs up.

It is the others. Shiro is… sparkling for some reason. Which while entertaining, is also very, very strange and distracting. He watches in confused awe for a long time, trying to figure out what’s happening. Lance uses terrible pick-up lines (which is not unusual, but these are particularly bad), Hunk farts (for some reason), Pidge is spouting off science shit that he is 86% sure is made up, and Allura is… him.

He stares at the screen long after the show ends, then he taps over to the messenger, typing out three words to Shiro:

_Keith: what the fuck_

Shiro responds a moment later.

_Shiro: Please tell me this is not what I think it’s about._

Keith raises an eyebrow.

_Keith: “the voltron show”?_

_Shiro: Oh god you did see it._

_Keith: what the hell is going on_

_Shiro: It’s for promoting the coalition and it’s all Coran’s idea. It’s working but none of us are thrilled with it._

_Keith: what the fuck_

_Shiro: Tell me about it._

~*~

Keith keeps watching. He curls up in the corner of his bunk and watches his friends reenact some of their past adventures in hilariously overblown ways. Allura plays a pretty good him.

It should be lighthearted and funny. A good way for him to spend the forced vacation Kolivan has subjected him too. All it really does is make him sad. He wants to be there with them, even if it would be humiliating. He wants to go back to those times they are reliving, before their battle with Zarkon. When Shiro was still _here_.

It hurts a little every time he watches a show, even if he does end up laughing at the stupid gags and jokes. He misses the ease of those times. Back when everything was a little harder, but also far simpler. He’s relieved when he gets to go back out on missions, so he can’t dwell on these things anymore. At least not as often.

But he still thinks about them. About the Shiros and about his friends. He thinks about how they seem to be doing just fine without him. How they hardly talk to him. How he was right to think Shiro was right for the role of leader, even if he isn’t the original.

Keith thinks a lot more than he should. Especially about the fact that, maybe, he was never meant to be with the team. Maybe all he’s good for is fighting. Maybe he can’t really do anything for them.

Then the coalition forces, led by Voltron, call a meeting about claiming a planet called Naxzela.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matt's back! And Keith is... not okay, but that is not unusual for this story! Next up is his attempted martyrdom! Oh boy! Have a good week!!!
> 
> You push and you push and I'm pulling away, pulling away from you  
> I give and I give and I give and you take, give and you take  
> Youngblood  
> Say you want me, say you want me out of your life  
> And I'm just a dead man walking tonight  
> \- Youngblood, 5 Seconds of Summer  
> (This is my go-to song for angsty Kuron/Keith)


	29. Die For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm so sorry! I got sick and spent all of yesterday sleeping off my fever. I didn't mean for this to be late! But here! Have... more angst. Whoops.

It starts with a video call to Voltron. Keith hasn’t seen the other paladins (outside their show) in over a month. Even Shiro hasn’t called him in a couple weeks. So seeing them all is… a little strange. Shiro explains his plan to capture the last Galra-occupied planet in a line of planets so they can take back a third of the Galra Empire, which would be a feat.

The Blade are sent off to capture one of the Xyforge cannons that could conceivably reach any planet in the region, while Matt and some other rebel forces go to take out another one.

As they all get into position, Allura delivers a speech that causes a lot of Blades to stand up straighter and comment on her leadership skills. Keith snorts quietly under his breath. If they only knew how anxious the princess always got before these grand speeches, they wouldn’t be saying that.

His wrist pings with a new message as they wait in their ship, and Keith taps it, smiling when he sees the message.

_Shiro: Be careful._

It may not be his Shiro, but he still worries. He still cares. Maybe that’s enough for now. Until he can find his Shiro. And won’t that be an adventure, having two of them wandering around? He’s kind of looking forward to it. But right now…

_Keith: you too, big guy_

They land and dive out of their ship, sprinting towards the grounded cannon, Kolivan leading from the front, as usual. The drop zone is about a half-varga away from the cannon, the closest they could get without being seen, and it takes them a little longer than that, what with having to duck through the underbrush. Keith hears bits and pieces of Pidge and Hunk’s fight on the communication hub as well as shouts from some of the rebel forces through his comm.

When they are about fifteen dobahses away from the cannon, he hears Olia growling in his ear.

“Blades! We’re in trouble! What’s the status of your cannon?” And then a moment later, in a more desperate tone, “Blades!”

“Copy, Olia, we’re in route.” Keith confirms, and speeds up his pace so he’s running right next to Kolivan.

“Did you hear?”

“Yes,” The Blade Leader huffs. “We must hurry. If they cannot get that cannon neutralized, the entire operation will be in jeopardy.”

_Not to mention all their lives_ , Keith thinks bitterly, gritting his teeth under his mask.

They get to the stairs leading up to the cannon ten dobashes later, taking out a handful of sentries as they ascend the stairs. It’s laughably easy to knock out or kill everything in the room, and Keith jumps over the knocked out Galra commander to take command of the cannon’s controls. He deactivates his mask and grins.

“Now let’s see how this thing works.”

His comm crackles to life in his ear, and Coran’s voice drifts through. “The Senthama Xyforge cannon is ours. Naxzela attack is underway.”

“Good luck, guys,” He mutters under his breath. Somehow, he knows they’re all going to need a little luck to get through this day.

~*~

Voltron lands on the planet and Shiro quickly surveys the area. There are a few Galra soldiers on the ground that quickly retreat when they see what’s come, and there are five battle cruisers in the air, aside from the one they’d already taken down.

“Alright paladins, we’ve only got one chance to take Naxzela. So let’s make it count.”

They quickly take out two of the ships as well as several buildings on the ground. Then they’re pushed into the minefield.

For several moments, they have nowhere to go until Allura reasons that she should be able to freeze them. They split into lions again and destroy the mines before reforming Voltron and taking out the rest of the ships.

This is going fairly easily, with only a few minor hiccups. That makes Shiro frown. If Keith were here, he would say that it was too easy, and that something was bound to go horribly wrong any second. And Keith is usually right. Apparently, even when he’s not there.

~*~

“Blades, this is Matt! We’re being wiped out, is there any chance you can use your cannon to help us out?”

“Copy, Matt. One cannon blast, coming right up.” Keith confirms, then begins hunting through the cannon’s targeting system in order to find the other cannon. It takes him longer than he’d like.

“Come on, where is it?” he growls in frustration. If Matt dies now…

He doesn’t have time to finish that thought as the targeting system locks on. Keith sighs in relief. Thank god.

“Found you. Now, here goes nothing,” He pulls back on the controls, then thrusts them forwards, sending a beam of powerful, violet energy hurtling away from them.

A few moments later, he hears Matt again over the comm. “Shields down, captain!” And Keith breathes a sigh of relief, letting go of the controls and sitting down heavily on the dais behind him, pushing back his hood absently.

“Okay, good. Now what?” He asks, looking up at Kolivan.

“We wait. Our part of the mission is over, unless we are needed again. Rest, kit. You did well today.” The Galra intones, and Keith sighs, closing his eyes and listening to the rebel’s victory cries as they take their cannon. Strangely, though, he hears nothing from Voltron.

He stands and takes the controls again when Coran declares both cannons in their possession. “Ready to provide the Taujeerians with cover,” He tells Coran.

Olia chimes in with “Cannon acquired, ready to provide backup.”

“Copy that. Coalition, you are clear to begin.” Coran affirms.

After a couple vargas, almost everything is under coalition control. That’s when a new battle cruiser shows up.

“Let me see if I can get a line on that battle cruiser.” Matt mutters, but then makes an agitated noise. “Xyforge cannon Senthama, are you still operational?”

Keith quirks an eyebrow, but then the lights go out and the holographic controls disappear from out of his hands. Of course.

“Negative.” He sighs.

“That incoming battle cruiser must have shut them down remotely.” Coran says.

Keith huffs. “Sorry, Shiro, that’s it for artillery support. What should we do about that cruiser?”

“That cruiser’s gonna be too late! Naxzela’s almost secure, we just need to take out the last of the heavy artillery!” Shiro shouts over the line. Keith can hear cannon fire and things blowing up. Huh, maybe this was actually going to go well.

(Yeah, he doubted that.)

~*~

Something is happening to the planet below them. It’s shaking, and pillars rise up and begin to create a barrier over their heads, surrounding the planet.

Shiro frowns up at it contemplatively. Maybe he should have listened when Lance said they should leave.

Suddenly the pressure ramps up, and Voltron is forced to its knees.

“This energy field is holding us down! Gravity levels are spiking!” Pidge calls out.

“We have to get out of here. If we stay here, we’ll be crushed. Everyone, we have to focus. Give everything you’ve got and maybe we can fight through this energy field.” Shiro grits out. “Ready?”

“Ready,” They all say in unison, and attempt to lift off.

But they can’t. Their boosters aren’t enough to push past the increased gravity. Instead, they exit Voltron and hope that their resident pair of tech experts can somehow shut the generators down. The end up deep in the bowels of the planet, finding an Altean terraforming device that Haggar is using against them. When Allura tries to shut it down, it nearly fries her. And then Hunk tells them the planet is a bomb, and that if this pressure keeps up, it will explode, taking out everything in the neighboring systems as well as them.

They try to tell the others – Shiro needs to warn Keith – but they can’t get through. They can’t even move Voltron, it just falls further. Shiro closes his eyes and prays to whatever’s out there.

Please, please let Keith hear him.

~*~

Keith checks in with Coran to see if maybe they’re needed elsewhere, but apparently everyone’s got their parts under control.

Although.

Why would the battle cruiser headed to Naxzela suddenly stop?

“Victory or death is the Galra way. They’d never stop attacking.” He frowns beneath his mask, then his eyes go wide as a sudden thought hits him. “Voltron.” He switches on the channel linking him to the paladins.

“Shiro, can you hear me? Shiro!”

No response. A tight unpleasant curl of fear wells up inside him. “Something’s wrong.”

“Paladins?” He hears Coran trying. “Allura! What’s happened?” A pause. “It must be the magnetic distortion from Naxzela.”

But, hadn’t they been able to communicate with Voltron just fine a few minutes ago?

“I’m gonna check it out.” He says, mouth set in a grim line. “I need a ship.” He peers down from his position and spots an intact Galra fighter. “That’ll work.”

“Keith,” Kolivan starts, but Keith whirls to face him.

“My team is in danger. I’m going.”

“They aren’t your team anymore.”

Keith growls under his breath. “They’ll always be my team.” He says, then jumps down, scrambling into the fighter and taking off before Kolivan can try to halt him further.

On the way to the battle cruiser, he calls Matt.

“Matt, something’s wrong. I can’t reach Voltron.”

“We can fly to Naxzela and check on them.” Matt says quickly.

“No, I need your help. I can’t explain why, but I know we need to attack that fleet.”

“I thought the fleet had stopped.”

“It has, but we’re afraid it has something to do with Voltron.”

“We’re with you.”

Keith manages a small smile. “Copy that. Good to have you along.”

“Well yeah, if you’re playing knight in shining armor for your darling Shiro, you need a plucky sidekick to help you out.”

Keith barks a laugh. “Whatever you say, buddy.”

“I’m coming too!” Coran chimes in. “it might take me a while; I’m on the other side of the galaxy and I don’t have enough of Allura’s energy left to work the teludav.”

“No,” Keith tells the man. “Stay in position. We might need you back there.”

He can hear the reluctance in Coran’s voice when he responds. “Okay, if… if you say so.”

“We got this, Coran.” Keith tells him and pushes the fighter faster.

A few minutes later, a video feed pops up on his dash, and Shiro is there, looking grim. “Keith, can you hear me?”

“Shiro, where are you? Is everything okay?” He demands.

“Not for long if we don’t stop Zarkon’s witch. She must be aboard that battle cruiser.”

“I’m way ahead of you,” Keith tells him, “and I brought some backup.” He smiles as Olia and Matt chime in, and Shiro looks relieved.

“Good luck, and be careful.”

“I’ll try.” Keith tells him, but then he has to dodge a variety of lasers, and the connection cuts out.

“Follow my lead!” he calls to the rebels. “We’ve gotta break through that shield-” he cries out as a laser he didn’t see strikes the side of his ship. Leaving him hobbled. Dammit. _Dammit_ , now what!?

He watches the rebels try to break through the shielding to no effect and grits his teeth. Come on, Keith, _think_. His friends’ lives are in danger, the entire coalition is in danger, there has to be _something he can do_.

Matt’s image pops up on his screen, looking frantic. “We’ll never penetrate those shields!”

Keith stares up at the ship, mouth set in a grim line, and suddenly, it clicks. “Maybe not with our weapons.” He murmurs, then throws the controls forwards, aiming his ship straight at the shielding.

“Wait, Keith, what are you doing!?” Matt cries, voice mounting in panic. “Keith, _no!”_

Keith grits his teeth. What choice does he have? Either they can all be wiped out by the witch, or he can die to save them. It only has to be him. Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, …Shiro, they can all live. Voltron can live. The coalition can continue on. He thinks his life is worth all that.

His hands tighten on the controls, and he looks down as he gets close. He doesn’t want to see it coming. “I’m so sorry, Takashi.” He murmurs. He wonders what the others will tell the real Shiro, when they finally find him. He hopes he can be forgiven for this. He hopes everyone will be okay.

He hopes they’ll remember him.

He closes his eyes.

Suddenly, he hears a whining noise, and an explosion goes off right in front of him.

His eyes fly open and he pulls back on the controls in time to avoid running straight into the debris field left by the destroyed weapon.

Holy shit.

_Holy shit_.

His hands are shaking. His whole body is trembling. He almost died.

“Naxzela is returning to normal! You did it!” Coran shouts.

“Good work, Keith,” Shiro sighs in relief.

“It wasn’t me,” Keith says numbly. “It was Lotor. The cannon on his ship was the only thing powerful enough to take down that shield.”

The ship jumps to hyperspeed, getting them the hell out of dodge, and Keith leans back, breathing coming in shaky and shallow.

“Attention paladins of Voltron, and rebel fighters,” Lotor says over the comms, and Keith flinches. “I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but, I think it is time we had a discussion.”

“Why did you help us?” Shiro asks evenly.

“Well, that is part of the discussion we need to have, isn’t it?”

Keith hears Shiro let out huff of frustration. “Coran, rendezvous with us at the battle cruiser’s last known location. Lotor, if you’re serious about having a _discussion_ , stay where you are. Rebel forces, keep your weapons trained on that ship. He makes one wrong move, shoot him down. We’ll be there soon. Voltron out.”

Keith mutes his comm and covers his mouth with his hands, choking out a sob, tears streaming down his face.

He almost died, and no one but Matt would have known at first. Shiro would have congratulated him and been right but would have received no answer. He starts trembling harder.

“Keith?”

Matt’s voice makes him flinch.

He unmutes his comm. “I’m fine.” He says, voice steady, but he’s still crying. Still shaking with shock and fear and adrenaline.

“Like hell you are.” Matt murmurs.

Keith mutes his comm again and ignores Matt’s repeated attempts to talk to him. He closes his eyes and waits.

Voltron arrives less than twenty minutes later, stopping right next to his tiny ship.

“How you doing, Keith?” Shiro asks softly.

“Fine.” He says, and by this point he’s steadier. Though there’s still a slight shake to his hands that he can’t seem to get rid of.

“Then let’s do this.” Shiro huffs. The castle gets there a few moments later, and they all head inside.

Keith tries to tamp down the nausea welling inside him.

No one knows what he almost did aside from Matt. And he’s going to keep it that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Keith and your martyrdom. I will actually post on time next time, with some quiet moments and the beginning of S5. In preperation for S7. Am I the only one not ready?  
> See you guys Sunday!
> 
> Even if the sky does fall  
> Even if they take it all  
> There's no pain that I won't go through  
> Even if I have to die for you  
> And when all the fires burn  
> When everything is overturning  
> There's no thing that I won't go through  
> Even if I have to die for you  
> \- Die For You, Starset


	30. Kryptonite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! This is chapter 30. Which is wild. Have some Keith introspection and the first episode and a half of S5.

Lotor makes an… interesting offer. He’s willing to work with them, to offer them intel in exchange for an alliance, an alliance he claims would be beneficial to them all.

“I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.” Keith tells Shiro after they leave the prince down in a cell.

“I’m not sure I do either. But we’ll check out the information he gave us. Even if it is a trap, if there’s even one piece of it that’s accurate, it may be worth it to go.” Shiro says, then frowns over at him and places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey,”

Keith pauses and looks up at him. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay? You were shaking when you first came on board.”

Dammit, he’s just as perceptive as the original one.

“I’m fine, Shiro. It was just the adrenaline. I’ve calmed down now, see?” He holds up his hands, which are steady as can be.

The Black Paladin frowns and takes his proffered hands. “If you’re sure, but… you know you can talk to me, right?”

Keith swallows around a lump in his throat. “Of course I know that.” He leans up and kisses the man briefly before tugging against Shiro’s grip, which immediately releases him (not Shiro, but almost Shiro). “I need to find Matt. I’ll see you in a bit?”

Shiro nods, still looking concerned. “Are you staying?”

“For a few days, at least.” Keith tells him. “I’ll be back.”

Then he hunts down Matt and grips him tight.

“First off,” He tells the older Holt, crushing him to his chest in a hug, “I haven’t been able to do that yet. I’m glad you’re here.”

Matt gapes at him, clearly not having gotten the memo that Keith isn’t as twitchy about touch as he used to be.

“Second,” Keith says, frowning. “You can’t tell _anyone_ what I almost did.” He says firmly. “No one. Not a soul. Not even Pidge.”

“But, Keith…” Matt stammers, “They, they would want to know. _Shiro_ would want to know.”

“Shiro _especially_ cannot know.” Keith says urgently. “Trust me, he’s going through enough right now. He doesn’t need to be worrying over the state of my psyche.”

“Keith…” Matt murmurs, giving him a wounded look.

“ _Please_ , Matt. I don’t want them to worry about something that didn’t even happen.”

Matt’s jaw clenches, but he does nod slowly. “Okay, Keith. I won’t tell them.” He gives Keith a long look. “But you should.”

Keith gives his friend a long look and breathes out slowly through his nose. “I will. Eventually. Just, not with so much going on. And, you know, Lotor.”

Matt winces. “Yeeeah, good point.”

Now that Keith has an affirmation from Matt that his near-martyrdom will be kept quiet, he wanders up towards the paladin’s quarters and finds the door to his and Shiro’s room. He takes a deep breath, wondering how this is going to go, and touches his hand to the control panel, stepping inside when the door hisses open.

Shiro immediately sits up on the bed as Keith steps in, looking anxious. “Keith,” He breathes, shoulders relaxing, and Keith raises an eyebrow.

“What’s up?” He starts shucking off the armored pieces of his Blade suit as Shiro fidgets on the bed.

“I, I wasn’t sure if you were really going to stay in here with me.”

Keith pauses in undoing the suit and glances over at the Black Paladin. “And… why would I not?” He asks slowly. God, he hopes Shiro hasn’t noticed his withdrawing. He doesn’t want to hurt him. It’s not _his_ fault he’s not the original, after all.

Shiro rubs the back of his neck. “I know you were upset when you left.” He says quietly. “And, I don’t blame you. We were pretty harsh on you. _I_ was harsh. And, and I’m sorry. I’ve regretted letting you leave since it happened, but I knew I couldn’t just ask you to come back…” He looks down, gripping the sheets tightly. “I just… I wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry, Keith.” He looks back up. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to stay.”

Keith stares at Shiro for a long moment. God, he didn’t even know how much he had to hear that until it was spoken, but he needed it _badly_. Something in his chest cracks and he can _feel_ again, and it leaves him winded for a moment. He takes a shuddery breath, then crosses the room and envelops the man in a hug.

“Thank you.” He murmurs, kissing the top of Shiro’s head. “I was feeling so lost here. And then when I got to the Blade, I felt even more lost. I just… I feel like I’ve been drifting for a really long time and it’s been confusing, and it hurts and I just…” Keith squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to cry and failing.

“Oh Keith,” Shiro whispers brokenly, tugging Keith down into his lap and holding him tightly. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I promise, I won’t leave you drifting anymore, okay? Shh,”

Keith shakes in Shiro’s arms, clinging to him with all his strength. Not his Shiro, he thinks absently, but so, so very close. Almost indistinguishable in moments like this, when he’s holding Keith so sweetly and pressing gentle kisses to his hair.

This may not be his Shiro, but he still loves Keith, and Keith loves him too. Maybe not as fiercely as he loves _his_ Shiro, but he certainly feels for this man, who is taking care of him while the original cannot.

 _It’s okay if you’re not the original Shiro,_ he thinks, tucking his face in the man’s neck and trying to calm his breathing. _I’ll still keep my promise. I’ll still protect you. As many times as it takes._

~*~

Shiro sleeps curled around him. It’s familiar, and it makes Keith smile fondly. He is awake for a while after the Black Paladin falls asleep, tracing over the scar on his chest. He wonders again how they’re going to deal with having two of them around and frowns. That… that’s going to be awkward. But, it’ll be okay. Shiro – any Shiro – is always willing to sit down and talk things out. They’ll make it work.

He sticks around for two days after they bring Lotor on board before Kolivan needs him again. The others bid him good luck, but still don’t seem to care that he’s not staying. Lance gives him a worried look when they hug, but that’s the extent of it. Shiro though tugs him close and kisses him gently.

“If you want to stay,” he murmurs, “If you want to come home, all you have to do is say the word, and we’d welcome you back in a heartbeat.”

Keith sighs and leans forwards, pressing their foreheads together. “I know, big guy, and I really do appreciate it. But the Blade needs me right now. Voltron already has five paladins.”

“Six.” Shiro corrects. “You’re still a paladin, Keith. Even if you aren’t piloting right now.”

Shiro leads him into the Black Lion so he can rendezvous with the Blade. Keith leans against the back of the seat, combing his fingers through Shiro’s hair as they wait.

“I miss the undercut.” He says absently.

“Yeah?” Shiro tilts his head back to smile up at him. “Want me to cut it again?”

Keith shrugs. “No, this haircut suits this version of you.”

The Black Paladin raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Shit. “Yeah, new phase of your life, new you, new haircut. That’s a thing people do, right?” Nice save, Kogane.

Shiro hums. “I guess so, but I thought you also said you liked it long?”

Keith sighs wistfully. “Yes, that, that was nice. Maybe when we’re done with saving the universe and no longer have to worry about practicality, you can grow it back out.” That would certainly help to differentiate between the two Shiros.

Shiro grins. “I can do that.”

“Awesome.” Keith kisses the top of his head.

A Blade ship shows up a few minutes later. Keith kisses Shiro one more time and departs. Right before he steps into the Blade ship, but after he’s left the cockpit and Shiro’s earshot, he presses a hand to Black’s interior. “Keep him safe, okay? Last time was bad enough.”

Black rumbles in his mind and he smiles before taking his leave.

~*~

Shiro hates to admit it, but in the two weeks since Lotor started giving them info, they’ve had a phenomenally easy time taking down significant Galra installations.

They just took down a major drone processing plant with relatively little complication and honestly, they might have to start seriously considering Lotor’s proposal. Shiro isn’t sure he trusts the prince still, but he may be their best bet for peace. He winces, thinking how Keith would vehemently disapprove of believing a single word Lotor says, but… so far, it’s all checked out. So really, what’s the harm in hearing the prince out?

After their… enlightening talk with Lotor, there is a coalition meeting, which Shiro is looking forward to because Keith is always with Kolivan during these meetings. He can’t talk to Keith much when the younger man is out on missions, so it’s always nice to be able to see him and make sure he’s still in one piece. After the meeting is officially over, they check in with Kolivan to see if the info Lotor had supplied for the Blades’ use had come in handy. Shiro pays attention, of course he does, but his gaze drifts behind the Blade leader to Keith more than it probably should. Keith notices, and raises an amused eyebrow at him. Shiro hastily looks back at the Blade leader.

Once they’ve signed off with the Blade, Keith messages him.

_Keith: Mind wandering a bit there, Shirogane?_

_Shiro: I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt on your last mission._

_Keith: I’m fine big guy, don’t worry so much_

_Shiro: Can’t help it. I love you._

_Keith: Yeah yeah, love you too. Now go do your paladin thing_

They ask Lotor for a bigger target, and boy do they get one.

They message Pidge and Matt immediately. They shouldn’t have. The pair of them rush off immediately on the chance that they could finally locate their father, without waiting for the rest of Voltron as backup. Shiro could scream. He doesn’t need any Holts getting themselves killed on his watch, _thank you very much_.

They come back a quintant later with a load of very grateful freed scientists, but no Sam Holt.

“He wasn’t there.” Matt tells Shiro quietly, where Pidge can’t hear. She’s been curled in her Paladin chair and unresponsive since their return. Hunk is worrying over her at the moment.

“Shiro, I checked every cell, every crevice, and he _wasn’t there_.” Matt’s hands clench into fists. “We were too late. He was already gone, to who knows where, and I, I…”

Shiro pulls his best friend into a tight hug. “We will find him,” He promises quietly. “We’ll do whatever it takes to bring the Commander home.”

Then Zarkon calls them with an ultimatum. If they hand him Lotor, they can get Sam Holt back.

Pidge is, understandably, unable to understand what a difficult situation this has placed them in. She refuses to listen to any of them about even _thinking_ about the offer. To her, it seems ridiculous that there would be any hesitation.

But.

But Zarkon has never been known to play fair. He will double-cross them, in some way or other. And to be fair, losing Lotor would be a huge blow to their operations. The only reason they’ve been doing as well as they have is because of Lotor telling them where and how and when. But Pidge is young, and while a genius, still makes selfish decisions.

They take the matter to Lotor, who, to no one’s surprise, advises _not_ turning him over to his father who wants to kill him. But, he has some good points. And that, that just complicates things more.

“An alliance with the heir to the Galra throne… could end the war.” Allura says slowly.

 _“What?”_ Pidge says incredulously. Allura turns to her.

“It’s not ideal. I don’t like trusting the Galra, but it could be our best option.”

Pidge takes a step forward. “No!”

“Pidge, think of the lives we could save,” Allura pleads, “Think of the countless worlds we could free.”

“Think of my _father_.” Pidge spits.

Lance seems to agree with Pidge, and Hunk seems torn but leaning towards Allura’s side. Shiro keeps his arms crossed and his mouth shut, thinking. How can they all get through this?

“We’re turning him in and getting my father back! We have _Voltron_ to bring peace to the universe!” Pidge shouts.

“Don’t play into Zarkon’s hands!” Lotor snarls back.

“That’s enough!”

Everyone looks to Shiro then, who has uncrossed his arms, glaring at a spot on the floor.

“That’s enough.” He says again, a little more calmly. “Here’s what we’re going to do. We are going to take Lotor to Zarkon,”

Allura and Lotor start to protest, but he cuts them off.

 _“Then_ when we see Commander Holt, and begin the trade-off, Lotor can escape his bonds, which _we will not actually secure_ and he can escape. No doubt Zarkon is planning to screw us over, so I see no problem in trying to screw him right back.”

“That… could work.” Allura says slowly.

Pidge huffs and crosses her arms. “As long as I get my dad back I don’t care what else happens.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to escape?” Lotor asks.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’re a slippery bastard.” Shiro tells him. But as they’re loading him into the pod, he slips his bayard into the folds of the prince’s jacket. Lotor looks up at him with wide eyes.

“You’ll figure something out.” Shiro repeats quietly, then he goes to the cockpit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked trying to puzzle out Kuron's thought process, as well as how Lotor got the black bayard. It's fun to plot out those moments you know happened, but you didn't get to see. Anyway, next time we have some Sam, some dead Zarkon, and some weird Voltron mindscape feat. Original Shiro. Have a good one.
> 
> Oh! I also have a new tumblr dedicated to my various Sheith fics, so if you have questions, want to see what other fics I'm working on, or just wanna say hi, find me at [sheith-writes](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sheith-writes)! 
> 
> You called me strong, you called me weak,  
> But still your secrets I will keep  
> You took for granted all the times I never let you down  
> You stumbled in and bumped your head,  
> If not for me then you'd be dead  
> I picked you up and put you back on solid ground  
> If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?  
> If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?  
> I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might  
> Kryptonite  
> \- Kryptonite, 3 Doors Down


	31. A Crime To Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Have Zarkon dying and Commander Holt returning and Kuron's brain fuzzing and Keith and Lance worrying.

The ride down to the planet is fraught with tense silence. Pidge has her hands balled into fists and Shiro’s own are clenched tight on the pod’s controls, mouth set in a grim line. They land at the rendezvous point and hop out. Shiro feels like they’re waiting for an executioner.

Matt peers around with a small frown, then turns to Shiro. “Are you sure this is the place?”

“This is the place.” He says quietly.

“Then where’s Zarkon?” Pidge asks.

Several minutes later, something enters the atmosphere behind them, and a small Galra ship lands a few hundred feet away. The door opens, and Zarkon is there, watching them all through the slitted eyes of his helmet.

“Show me Lotor.” The emperor calls.

“Show us Commander Holt first.” Shiro demands.

Two of Lotor’s generals – former generals, he supposes – step forwards, one of them pushing Sam Holt forwards.

“Dad!” Pidge yells, and Shiro has to hold her back.

“Now, where is Lotor?” Zarkon says again.

Shiro nods to Matt, who opens up the cargo hold of the pod and allows the prince to step out.

“Send us Commander Holt.” Shiro says, and a moment later, the older man starts to move forward slowly.  Shiro looks over at Matt, who nods and gives Lotor a little nudge.

“Stay alert. If Zarkon’s going to try something, now would be the time.” He says quietly.

The two prisoners begin walking towards one another and pass each other without incident. Pidge runs forwards before Sam Holt is fully to them and Shiro can’t stop her this time.

“Dad!” She calls, tears in her eyes. “Dad!” She jumps up to hug him… and passes right through him.

The hologram flickers a few times, before it dissipates entirely.

“No!” Pidge looks towards the ship, where Lotor has just arrived, and the third of Lotor’s former generals brings out the real Commander.

“Katie,” The man calls weakly.

“No, no we had a deal! We had a _deal! Give me my father!_ ” Pidge howls.

Shiro shifts back, waiting.

“If you want this Earthling returned alive, you will forfeit Voltron to me immediately.” Zarkon informs them.

_Wow, what a surprise, he tricked us._ Shiro thinks. The voice in his head sounds a lot like Keith.

“No, no! We have to get Dad!” Pidge says frantically. Shiro can hear her struggling against Matt’s hold.

“Shiro?” His best friend says quietly.

Shiro’s fists clench. “Hold your positions until the time is right,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Bring the Lions, now!” Zarkon shouts, but then Lotor pulls out the Black Bayard, and attacks his father. While they’re occupied with each other…

“We need to get Sam,” He tells the Holts, and even before the words have fully left his mouth, Pidge is already darting forwards. He and Matt follow.

They close the distance quickly, but almost not quickly enough. The ship is in the air by the time they cling onto it. He calls on the other paladins as he and Pidge use their respective weapons to tear into the hull, where the generals are waiting. Shiro ends up dueling with the orange one who is very light on her feet. Matt fights the big one while Pidge battles it out with the one Keith had helped in the Weblum while trying to free her father.

All while the ship is in a nosedive headed for the ground.

“A little help, guys!” Sam calls.

“Just a sec,” Shiro calls back, dodging free-floating boxes.

“Kinda busy here, Dad!” Matt adds.

Shiro has the strangest sense of deja-vu from Kerberos. There were less Galra generals and more ice meteors, but the feeling is the same.

Pidge knocks the generals into each other and Sam rights the controls, and gravity reasserts itself. Shiro watches as the Holts all cling to each other. There may or may not have been a lot of tears, but Shiro will never tell. Especially since he sheds some of his own.

“The shuttle is clear.” He says quietly.

“Nice job, team.” Lance says, and the lions come to fly by the shuttle.

“Where are Lotor and Zarkon?” He asks the paladins.

Then they see the beam of light aimed at them, followed by it flickering out as Lotor drives something long, thin and sharp into Zarkon’s back.

They all stare down at the scene in stunned silence for a moment, before that snarky, vindictive voice in the back of his head that sounds like Keith pipes up again:

_Long live the emperor indeed._

~*~

Keith gets a call from Shiro in the middle of his night cycle. He answers groggily, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

“Hey there, big guy,” he rasps. “What’s up?” His eyes clear though, when he sees the grim expression on Shiro’s face. “What happened?” He says sharply, sitting up.

“Zarkon is dead.”

Keith stares at the man for a long, quiet moment.

“I, what? When? _How?_ Even Voltron couldn’t kill the bastard!”

“About an hour ago.” Shiro says quietly. “And Lotor did it.”

Keith leans back against the wall. “Damn.” He breathes, closing his eyes. Maybe wherever Real Shiro is, he feels quietly vindicated. He did vanish trying to make the bastard die, after all, and now he is dead.

“Are you okay?” He asks, looking back at Shiro’s face. “Is everyone okay?”

“We’re all fine.” Shiro assures. “And we have Commander Holt.”

Keith’s eyes widen. “Holy shit.” He glowers at the screen. “Tell me everything.”

So Shiro does, including the parts that he’d apparently failed to tell everyone else, like giving Lotor his Bayard.

“Allura’s gonna tear you a new one.” He informs him.

“I know, but it worked so she can’t get too mad.” Shiro says, smiling faintly.

Keith frowns at the screen. “Shiro, you look exhausted. Go the fuck to sleep.”

“I can’t. I…” Shiro rubs the back of his neck. “It’s been a hell of a day, and I miss you.”

Keith’s expression softens. “Okay, we can talk for a little bit longer, _while you are getting ready for bed_.”

Shiro laughs softly. It’s a familiar laugh, if a little different from the original’s. Keith is discovering more and more slight differences between the two Shiros, like the way they speak, and the way they hold themselves.

“You have a deal, sweetheart.”

And the pet names they have for Keith. Those are different too, though he doesn’t mind.

~*~

Having Commander Holt back takes a weight off everyone’s shoulders. But the death of Zarkon, as good as it is, creates a whole new level of complication in the form of the Kral Zera. Apparently Lotor does not automatically get the throne once his father dies, he has to fight for it, against half the Galra Empire.

Shiro thinks the risk to put the Prince on the throne is worth it. The others… do not agree.

He gets angry – unreasonably so – and yells at Lance when the boy really didn’t do anything to deserve it. Shiro shakes himself afterwards, rubbing at his temples and grimaces. His headache had never really gone away, and since yesterday, when Zarkon died, it’s been worse. That’s probably why he snapped at Lance. He was in pain and lashing out. Shiro sighs. He needs to apologize.

Before he gets the chance, Reiner informs them of an impact crater, and Shiro volunteers to go look at it. He needs to get away from the others and clear his head, so he won’t snap at anyone else who doesn’t deserve it.

It would seem that the meteor had released a toxin in the forest and created a demented version of the Olkari’s tree mechs. One that manages to defeat him, as well as the other lions when Shiro calls for backup.

“Hurry up, team, let’s form Voltron!” Shiro tells them, but even after Voltron is formed, when they land on the ground for a few _seconds_ , the vines that have been advancing reach them, and tangle around the Blue and Yellow lions, snaking its way up the giant robot’s form before encasing all of them. It’s cutting off their communications, as well as their ability to move.

“What are we gonna do, I can’t move!” Hunk says over the comm.

“Listen! This virus is infecting Voltron on a sub-molecular level. To drive it out, we have to tap into the quantum energy that bonds us all to Voltron.” Pidge tells them.

“The bayards! They amplify each paladin’s lifeforce. They might provide enough power to drive out the virus!” Allura says.

“It’s worth a shot.” Lance says, then they all feel the pull of a tractor beam lifting their cocoon-like prison up.  He growls a curse over the comm, then starts a countdown.

“Three, two, one!”

Shiro slams his bayard into the port and turns it, lighting up the cockpit with bright purple light.

Then he passes out.

~*~

_Lance opens his eyes slowly._

_The world around him is hazy and shifting, and he’s caught in a beam of reddish light. He feels that it’s connecting him to Red, to his body. He’s not really sure where he is right now, but he knows it’s not his body._

_He looks around to see Hunk, Pidge and Allura blink into the in-between space as well, and they all turn towards the empty purple circle of light, where Shiro should be. But he doesn’t appear._

_“Shiro!” Allura calls._

_“Shiro!” They all start yelling. “Shiro! Shiro!”_

_Finally, a form flickers in the Black Paladin’s space, and Shiro appears. He’s face is shadowed, and his form keeps fading rapidly in and out of focus, but he’s there. The energies connect, and slowly, the others vanish, until it is just him and Shiro._

_“Lance!” He hears Shiro call, but it sounds like he’s speaking from miles away. “Lance li…en ...o m…”_

_“What?” Lance shouts, but before Shiro can answer, he’s being ripped out of the void._

_He feels like he just missed something._

~*~

Shiro comes to when the others do, managing to rip out of their bonds.

“We’re back, baby!” Hunk crows.

“Attack the cruiser!” Shiro orders, glaring up at the ship hovering above them. He has a niggling feeling that he missed something just now, but he ignores it in favor of the battle ahead.

Reiner blows the ship out of the sky before they can, then sends them after the beast.

“Let’s finish this fight,” he says, trying not to sound as exhausted as he feels.

They destroy the beast after getting ensnared again, thanks to Lance, and then decide to forgo turning back into lions, choosing instead to take a breather on Voltron’s massive shoulders.

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance says, and Shiro turns his head to look at where the Red Paladin is now sitting. “What were you trying to tell me in that void thing earlier?”

Shiro’s brow furrows. What void thing? “What do you mean?”

“You were shouting at me, but I couldn’t hear you.” He looks up at Shiro.

Shiro looks down, still frowning. “I don’t know.” He says honestly. “Things went dark there for a second.” He turns back to Lance and smiles. “But good work today. I’m… sorry I yelled at you earlier.”

Lance smiles back at him.

Shiro turns away and frowns again. He missed some time there. Clearly _something_ had happened to the others, and to him as well, if Lance was to be believed. So why couldn’t he remember anything aside from blackness?

His jaw tenses and he tightens his fingers on his arms. What is he missing? What is happening to his head?

~*~

Keith is pleasantly surprised to see an incoming call from Lance as he gets ready to go to the showers. He sits down on his bunk and taps the controls, then the Blue – Red, he’s the _Red_ Paladin now, dammit – Paladin pops into view.

“Hey, man,” Lance starts.

“Hey yourself.” Keith drawls. “Been a long time since I heard from you.”

Lance winces. “Yeah, sorry. Things have been really weird here, with Lotor. But, um,” Keith suddenly realizes how unnerved Lance looks.

“What happened?”

“You remember how you told me to keep an eye on Shiro?” He asks slowly. “His behavior?”

Keith tenses. “I remember.” He says quietly.

“Well,” Lance rubs the back of his neck, then explains about their mission that day, and about having to duck into a weird Voltron void. “Shiro didn’t appear at first, and when he did, he was almost blacked out, like, like his connection was weak. And then when we were the only two in there, he was trying to talk to me but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Then, when I asked him about it after the battle, he told me he couldn’t remember being there at all.”

“Fuck.” Keith mutters, rubbing a hand across his face. “That’s some signs of brain fuckery if I ever heard any.”

“Tell me about it,” Lance sighs.

“Thanks for keeping me updated. I can’t come by because I’m gearing up for a mission, but I’ll come by and check on him myself soon. Just… keep watching him for me, okay?” Keith asks.

“Sure, man. You think he’s okay?”

“I don’t know.” Keith says honestly. “Just keep an eye on him, please.”

“Will do.”

He and Lance talk for another few minutes, then they sign off. Keith lays down on his bed with a frown, shower forgotten for now.

This may be an indicator that the clone’s brain is either deteriorating – which is bad – or that his programming (whatever that is) is interfering with his connection to Voltron – also bad – or that his programming is starting to kick in – which is the worst.

Keith sighs and covers his face with his hands. He can’t do much right now, he’s tied up with a mission. He just hopes Shiro can keep it together for a little while longer, until he can be there.

Somehow, though, judging by the black pit in his stomach widening at the thought, he doubts it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not completely happy with this chapter, but here it is. I am looking forward to the next chapter, which is the Kral Zera... and Krolia. But! It will not be coming out this Sunday because, as before, I am going to take a week after Season 7 drops to write! And do those edits I was talking about which make the beginning of this fic slightly more canon compliant.   
> I know some of you don't want me to make the changes, so to you I say it will not change the story overmuch, so you don't have to do any re-reading if you don't want to! To those of you who liked the idea of me changing things, or at least don't mind it, I will list the chapters (and maybe even places) where I changed things when I post next Sunday. I love and appreciate you all, and I wish you all good luck in braving Season 7!
> 
> Stuck in a war, cover you eyes  
> There's been the truth  
> No DNA, eating away  
> Just show me the proof  
> Stars on fire, show me the proof  
> Show me the truth  
> This is a crime to remember  
> Was broken apart won't go back together  
> \- A Crime To Remember, Pop Evil


	32. Notorious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, everyone! I for one thought Season 7 was fantastic (CAPTAIN SHIROGANE OF THE ATLAS) and have had a lot of fun writing for it. Though it is vaguely disconcerting to realize we only have one season left. And it's gonna come out in (I'm guessing based on the gap between 6 and 7) late October. Like. Wow.  
> Anyway I know this is a little early but I'm going to be busy tomorrow plus I missed updating so here's the next chapter!

Keith already knows this mission is going to be a pain in the ass from the fact that neither Ilun or Vrek will tell him what the hell a “Kral Zera” is. When the other Blades fail to tell him something, it tends to mean they’ll think he’ll overreact, because usually, _it’s something that requires a little reaction_. So before they even get to… wherever it is, he already knows this day is going to end with him unhappy, probably bruised, and with Kolivan giving him another lecture about keeping his feelings in check.

He growls a little under his breath. The Blades are way too fucking uptight. He may go back to the paladins soon, just to get away from Kolivan and his ever-present scowl. He may like the old man, but seriously, it’s like dealing with a fussy old lady. But he has a few more things to do before he can hang up the Blade suit. And what the hell would he even do in the castle anyway? Aside from making sure Clone Shiro doesn’t go crazy and try to kill them all, of course.

Lance’s update has him worried. He hopes Clone Shiro is just there to spy on them, which yes, is bad, but it also means he’s _safe_. That the others in the castle are _safe_. If he’s there to do more… Keith doesn’t like to think about that outcome.

He grits his teeth. No. No, he’s going to save Clone Shiro from Haggar’s evil clutches, just like he’s going to find Real Shiro. Then he’s going to shove them both in a bed wrapped up with blankets and _never let them out of his sight ever again amen._

They land with Warlord Ranveig’s ship but slip out before any of the warlord’s men can spot them.

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Keith hisses as they sneak into what looks like a temple.

“The Galra are choosing a new Emperor or Empress. All of Zarkon’s top generals will be up there. This is our chance to wipe all of them out.” Ilun hisses.

“Now if you’d just fucking told me that…” Keith mutters but continues to follow them through the temple.

~*~

Shiro is angrier than he can remember being in a while. The others just won’t see _sense_. Haven’t they been working with Lotor, forging an alliance with him, so that they can join forces with the Galra and end the war peacefully? Isn’t the whole point of everything they’ve been doing to get the prince on the throne?

And now that they have a chance to do so, the others think it’s too big of a risk. Wasn’t it “too big of a risk” when they went to Zarkon’s command ship to rescue Allura? Wasn’t it an _enormous_ risk when they hacked said ship to disable – if not kill – Zarkon himself? But now of all times, they think the risk isn’t worth it.

Shiro is sitting on his and Keith’s bed, head in his hands. What would Keith say if he were here? Would he agree with them? Or with him? He tries to find that little voice of Keith’s in the back of his mind.

_“Fuck them. You do what you think is right.”_

Shiro stands, and quickly but quietly dresses in his paladin armor, then slips down the hall and into Lotor’s room. The Galra prince looks startled to see him.

“Shiro?”

“Come with me, quickly.” Shiro urges.

He doesn’t have to make too many detours on his way to Black’s hangar, and they get there in short order.

“Get in,” he hisses, and Lotor darts up the ramp. Shiro follows and slides into Black’s seat, flipping switches and hearing her rumble faintly as she awakens. His connection with her has been weak since his return, but still present, and that’s enough.

“Can you help me navigate to planet Feyiv?” He asks, and Lotor nods. “Will the Black Lion be enough to get you in?”

Lotor looks down at him in contemplation. “Most certainly.”

Shiro nods, then pushes Black to exit the hangar. “Then let’s go.”

~*~

There is a heavy rumble above the temple as Keith and the others are finishing setting the charges.

“Keith, go check it out.” Vrek tells him, and he darts outside. Please _please_ don’t let it be Zarkon, risen from the fucking dead _yet again…_

It’s not. It’s so, so much worse.

When Keith gets outside he turns, and stares. He can see the top of the Black Lion idling in the middle of the square outside and rumbling quietly, like she does whenever she feels her paladin is in danger.

“Shiro?” Keith whispers incredulously. Oh _dammit_. If Shiro’s out there…

_The bombs._

“Ilun! Vrek! We have to stop! Shiro’s out there!”

“It’s too late. The bombs are armed and the timer is set. The operation is a go.”

“God _dammit!_ ” Keith growls, and runs back into the temple. He starts disabling bombs as fast as he can without screwing up. If he hits a wrong button they’ll blow early. He gets five disarmed before the other Blades find him.

“What are you doing? We have to go!”

“No,” Keith snarls, going for another one. “Shiro and Lotor are up there.” Because why else would Shiro be here if not to try and put the prince on the throne? Honestly he doesn’t care about Lotor but he’s probably with Shiro so that means he kind of _has_ to care, for the moment.

“Then you’ll die with them.”

And they leave. Keith sighs heavily and goes to the next one. They just don’t get it.

Several minutes later, he’s disabled seven more, but he looks down the rows he still has left, and his gut clenches.

“There’s too many. There’s not enough time.” He hisses to himself. He turns and sprints up the path towards the top of the temple. He can hear fighting outside and hears Lotor’s voice.

He emerges from the tunnel and spies Lotor and… Sendak?? Oh son of a bitch, he thought Shiro had tossed him out an airlock!

Keith feels a rumble beneath his feet as the bombs start to go off, so he works on instinct, throwing himself at Lotor when the prince is in the air and pushing the man down the stairs and out of the reach of the blast.

Keith groans as he pushes himself up. “Well, that hurt.” He mutters. Then growls in frustration as Sendak punches his way out of a pile of rubble.

“Lotor has betrayed us to Voltron! Fire on the Black Lion!” He shouts.

Of course things went wrong. Keith isn’t even surprised anymore.

The Galra all start attacking everyone else which is kind of neat, except he and Lotor are included in that everyone else.

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid,” Lotor says in frustration. “I knew they would all turn on each other.”

Then the rest of the Galra remember that they’re there.

He ends up fighting a female general with ram-like horns while Lotor keeps dueling with Sendak. The general manages to knock his blade out of his hand, and before he can pick it back up, she steps on it, preparing to swing her own sword down on his head.

But before she can, a shot knocks the weapon out of her hands.

Keith jumps up and knees the underside of her jaw, knocking her out cold, then he looks down to see where the shot came from.

Below, Lotor’s general, the one he’d saved in the Weblum, is giving him a significant look. _Now we’re even_ , it seems to say, and then she departs with Haggar. Keith watches her go for a moment before picking up his blade and looking around for Lotor.

The prince is crouched at the bottom of the stairs, and Sendak is gone.

Keith jumps down and holds out a hand to the prince, who looks at it, startled, but takes it. he lets Keith pull him to his feet.

“I… you saved my life.” Lotor says in sudden realization.

“Yeah, well, consider it payback.” Keith mutters, then jerks his chin towards the flaming torches. “Don’t you have an empire to claim?”

Lotor grits his teeth and nods. Keith watches him ascend the stairs and sees Voltron land behind the now-ruined temple. Lotor lights the flame, and suddenly, he’s Emperor. Hoo-rah.

The lions break apart and come to land in a semi-circle around the temple. Keith marches up to the Black Lion as she lowers her head and immediately throws himself into Shiro’s arms as soon as he is visible.

“Keith!” Shiro says, stunned, but returns the hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Saving the emperor’s life, apparently. I’d better get some sort of commendation for that,” He mutters.

“But really,” Shiro says, “what…”

“Next time you plan on showing up to a place that the Blade is going to _bomb_ ,” Keith growls, pulling back to look the man in the face, “give me a little _warning_.”

Shiro laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. “Yes, dear.”

“Good.” Keith hugs him again. Dammit, what is it with these reckless, danger-prone Shiros!? Is it just in Shiro’s damn DNA?? Keith growls.

“Easy, sweetheart, I’m alright.” Shiro soothes, tilting Keith’s head back and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Good.” Keith says again.

He stays long enough to say hi to everyone else and receive a lot of (careful) hugs. Lotor thanks him again and he does actually get a sort of commendation. He’s now the official liason between the Blade and the Throne. Keith sighs. Ugh, politics.

~*~

Kolivan is not happy with him, but Keith does not care.

“We got the job done, okay? Wasn’t the way we planned to, but it’s done.” He’d argued, and the leader had sighed in frustration, rubbing his temples with his fingers.

“You are very lucky you’re such an excellent warrior or I’d send you back to the paladins in a heartbeat.” He mutters. Then turns towards the large screen behind them.

“No you wouldn’t. You’d get bored without me annoying you.” Keith smirks, crossing his arms.

Kolivan growls non-threateningly. “Keep telling yourself that, kit. As it is, I have a new mission for you.”

“Lay it on me.” He quips, also turning to the screen.

Kolivan huffs and taps the keyboard, bringing up several images on the screen. “This base was until recently run by a Galra commander called Ranveig, who was developing a superweapon of some sort.”

Keith studies the image of the base, then the image of the warlord. Nasty looking dude. And they were on his ship recently. Then apparently, he died at the Kral Zera. Whoops.

“We’re not sure of the weapon’s specs,” Kolivan continues, “but we do know that it is incredibly powerful.”

“How did we learn all this?” Keith asks, looking up at the man.

“We have a spy in Ranveig’s camp who’s managed to acquire high level security clearance. Since Ranveig’s departure-” Interesting way to say death, but okay, “-it’s possible she assumed control of the base, but we can’t be sure.”

“Why not?”

“We’re not the only ones who know of the weapon.” Kolivan brings up more images, this time of two female Galra. “Two Galra factions led by Commanders Trugg and Ladnok are at war over the territory. Since their fighting began, all communication has been cut off. We need you to infiltrate the base, locate our spy, and destroy Ranveig’s weapon.” Then he looks down at Keith.

“Keith, this is of the utmost importance. If either faction acquires this weapon, it could tip the balance of power in their favor, so you cannot allow your feelings to cloud your judgement.”

Keith rolls his eyes at the leader. “I wouldn’t-”

“You have in the past.” Kolivan says pointedly, cutting him off. “Remember, the mission is the only thing that matters. Emotions are a luxury we cannot afford.”

“Well then it’s a damn good thing Shiro won’t be there. Or you’d be shit out of luck.” Keith says casually.

Kolivan sighs. “…Indeed.” He looks back up at the screen. “This is the operative you’ll be contacting. Her name is Krolia.”

Keith studies the image for a long moment. She looks vaguely familiar, but Keith can’t quite pin down why.

“Be careful, kit. You’ll be flying into the middle of a warzone and you need to be on your guard. Stay alive.”

Keith raises an eyebrow and looks at the leader of the Blade who is very pointedly not looking at him. Keith smirks. “Maybe before you tell others off for their emotions, you should check your own.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I treat all my Blades equally and know that they’re soldiers and could die any day for the cause.” Kolivan side-eyes him and raises an eyebrow of his own.

“But if I were to feel differently about one of them, it would be a scrap of a boy with a too-big heart who does whatever it takes to protect the people he loves. I may be hard on him sometimes, but only because I want him to keep himself alive. He’s no good to anyone dead, especially his mate. So it would be prudent for him to actually listen to me every once in a while instead of pestering me about my feelings towards him.”

Keith blinks in surprise. He… had not been expecting that.

“Now get going, kit.”

Keith walks towards the door, but before he exits, he turns back to Kolivan. “You know, maybe that scrap of a boy argues with you so much because he’s comfortable being around you and doesn’t feel like he has to maintain a façade. Maybe he disagrees with your methods of ‘whatever it takes’ because he wants you to stay alive too, because you may be a grumpy old man and a hardass, but you’re one of the few people who’s taken an interest in him and genuinely wanted to help him. Did you ever think of that?”

Kolivan tilts his head to the side. “I did not. But if that’s true, then, it is good to know.”

Keith rolls his eyes again and smirks. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, old man.”

Kolivan huffs a laugh. “Same to you, kit.”

~*~

It takes several vargas before he reaches his destination, and his landing is… not the best. But he’s alive and moving towards the building in the distance with no time to spare.

He creeps inside through an easily hacked (thank you Pidge) airlock and slinks through the halls, avoiding patrols of Galra and looking for Krolia.

He finally spots her being escorted by a team of sentries. He is again hit by the feeling that she is familiar, and inadvertently takes a step forward. She stops, and her head turns towards him, he curses internally and hastily steps back into the shadow of the hall, and she continues on her way.

Keith spends the next few minutes trying to figure out how to get to her without all the sentries freaking out, but then he hears a gun heating up behind him. He whirls around, pressing his awakened blade to the newcomer’s throat as a gun is aimed at his forehead. But then he gets a good look at the person standing in front of him.

“Krolia,” he says, surprised.

The woman glances down at the blade against her neck, a look of shock crossing her face briefly before she schools it again. She removes the gun and Keith deactivates his blade.

“You’re late.” She says crisply. “We don’t have much time.”

“Sorry, bad traffic.” He says sardonically.

That earns him an actual _snort_. “Come on, firecracker, let’s move.”

Keith smirks at the name but follows the woman. He finds it interesting as well. He didn’t know Galra had _firecrackers._

He follows the woman as she leads him through the halls. The sentries seem to ignore him since he’s traveling with the person in charge of the base, but they do on occasion have to avoid actual Galra soldiers. They finally make it to some sort of control room, and Krolia seals the door behind them.

She immediately starts tapping away on an interface, mouth set in a grim line. “Why did Kolivan risk sending you here now?” She asks.

“Because he’s heard about Ranveig’s superweapon. We can’t let it fall into the wrong hands.”

“I’m assuming Ranveig’s dead since Commander Trugg is attacking my base.” She says dryly. That sort of wry humor reminds him of his own and represses a little smile. He kind of likes her already.

“Trugg is on the verge of crushing your forces. We have to destroy the superweapon now.” He tells her. “What is the weapon exactly?”

She tells him about a strangely powerful quintessence Ranveig had found and experimented with, and something in Keith’s head clicks. Isn’t that the same quintessence he and Kolivan have been tracking?

Before he can say this, the base rocks, and a voice on the intercom informs them that the first level of defense has been breached. Trugg has apparently won the battle above and is coming to claim her prize.

“Trugg’s fleet has touched down. We’re running out of time.” Krolia snaps. She opens the door and sprints towards it. “Come on.”

They race through chaotic hallways, uncaring of who sees. Everyone else is a little too preoccupied or dead at the moment to notice him.

They descend to the lowest level in an elevator and dart into a heavily armored room.

“Get to that console!” Krolia orders, and Keith skids to a halt in front of it.

“What now?” he asks.

“We need to simultaneously enter this code-”

Before she can finish the door is blown open and sentries – hostile ones – pour into the room. Keith launches towards the closest one, cutting off its leg and stabbing it before going after the next. And the next, until he is thrown off and lands heavily on the floor, blade still imbedded in that last sentry.

Before he knows what’s happening, he is being dragged back by his collar and shoved onto his knees, a gun pressed to the back of his head. He growls. Dammit, _dammit_.

Krolia halts from where she’s destroying sentries when the guns aim at her.

“Surrender or die,” Trugg sneers behind him.

Krolia’s eyes lock on him for a moment.

 _She’s going to shoot them, and they’re going to kill me_. He thinks. Dammit.

But then, Krolia sighs and straightens, Keith’s blade glowing and retracting in her hand. Which distracts Keith for a moment, until the woman raises her hands, palms up.

“We can make a deal,” She says evenly, and Keith stares at her incredulously.

“What are you doing?” he shouts. They can’t get that weapon! What the hell is she thinking!?

“I left you once,” Krolia murmurs, looking at him intensely, “I’ll _never_ leave you again.”

Keith’s jaw drops. What the hell is she talking about??

Krolia looks up at Trugg again. “Give us a ship, and I’ll give you the codes to the weapon.”

“Why should I trust you?”

“You don’t have a choice.” Krolia says, words turning to ice. “I’m the only one who knows the access code. If you try to break in, the room will self-destruct. Once we’re airborne, I’ll give you the code.”

Trugg huffs, but shoves Keith forwards. “Fine, but if you try to leave without giving me the codes, I’ll blow you out of the sky.”

“Fair enough.” Krolia says coolly, and pulls Keith to his feet, sweeping him out of the room and towards the hangars, keeping a tight grip on his arm when he tries to pull away.

“Come on,” She hisses.

“You are insane!” He hisses back but climbs into a fighter when she nudges him towards one. He turns on her as soon as the door closes though.

“I still can’t believe you’d give them the weapon just to save me!” He growls. “You compromised the mission!”

She turns to glare at him over her shoulder. “Keith, shut up and trust me.”

“You clearly don’t know me, or you’d know that’s not something I do easily.” He snarls. But something about that makes him pause. He never told her his name. How did she know his name?

She gives Trugg the command code then orders him to get them the hell out. He does and has to avoid lots of lasers as Trugg tries to shoot them down because _of course she does_.

“ _This_ is why you shouldn’t have made that trade for me!” He shouts in frustration as he dodges another blast. “We could die, and you just handed that weapon over to Trugg!”

“No, Keith, I handed them over to it.”

Keith blinks for a moment. Oh. “Huh.” He still doesn’t like it, but that’s… better, he supposes.

Eventually, the lasers stop firing, and the sounds of battle fade away.

“We’re far enough away. They stopped firing at us.” Keith sighs and leans back in the seat, letting it slide back so he can stand and face Krolia again.

She unsheathes Keith’s blade. “I should give this back to you,” She says, holding it out to him.

He takes it carefully, looking down at it, then back up to her. “How were you able to use it?” He asks cautiously, sliding it back into its holster.

Krolia closes her eyes for a long moment. “Because it used to be mine,” She says, looking him in the eye again. “Before I gave it to your father.”

Keith’s whole body locks down. His blood turns to ice in his veins. No, no that, that’s _impossible_.

“You’re my…”

~*~

Oriande is an interesting endeavor. Shiro looks around at the others who are trying to restore power to the castle, then looks out at the white hole where Allura and Lotor had vanished about an hour ago. He’s sure they’ll be back, and everything will be fine. He hopes, at least.

A sharp bolt of pain shoots through his head again and he grimaces. That’s been happening more and more often lately. And he thinks those pains are starting to make him lash out. At first, he’d thought it was his disease rearing its ugly head after all this time, but his symptoms had never included headaches before. Nor had they seemed to be one when the doctors had listed what he should look out for.

So what the hell is happening to him? He’s getting angry all the time, lashing out, _blacking_ out if the incident on Olkarion was anything to go by. And his headache is just getting worse and worse. It’s starting to scare him.

When the others ask him to take a panicking Lance outside, he sees it as the perfect opportunity to ask the boy about what had happened.

“It’s okay, Shiro,” Lance sighs as they exit the bridge, crossing to the opposite wall and laying his head against it. “I’ll be quiet, you don’t have to babysit me.”

Shiro frowns and steels himself. “Lance, uh, let me ask you something. Do you remember on Olkarion, how you asked me about… _talking_ to you from inside Voltron?”

The boy turns with a quirked eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“What happened there?” He asks quietly. “I can’t remember any of it.”

“Well, we were all inside some kind of mystical Voltron mind space, and you were yelling something but, I couldn’t hear you.” Suddenly, his eyes go wide. “Are you okay?”

“I, I don’t know.” Shiro replies honestly. “My head… I’m just, I’m feeling so _confused_. It’s like…”

“What?”

Shiro looks down at the floor, frowning, then glances back up at Lance. “Like I’m not myself.”

Lance’s eyes go wide, a look of concern flooding his face, then he relaxes and smiles a little hesitantly. “It’s probably just the lack of oxygen. You should sit down.”

He sits where Lance puts him and stays with the now Red Paladin in silence.

“Don’t,” He starts, then swallows hard. “Don’t tell Keith, okay? I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“Dude, that’s like, his job.” Lance teases. “I’m sure he’ll be able to tell if something’s wrong the next time you talk to him.”

Shiro sighs and leans his head back on the wall. Lance is probably right, and in a way, he hopes he is. Keith can always tell when he’s feeling low. Maybe, just maybe, his boyfriend will be able to make everything right again.

~*~

Allura and Lotor return in the nick of time and restore the castle. They tell of their adventure and are eager to get back to Galra HQ to begin work on the transreality ships, or “Sincline” ships, as Lotor calls them.

When they arrive, they are greeted by a very stern looking Galra woman, who apparently raised Lotor. And who Lotor is apparently scared shitless of. It’s an interesting morning.

Their afternoon, however, is less entertaining. Sendak has attacked a base loyal to Lotor and Team Voltron has been dispatched to fix its shielding before they are fried by radiation. Things are going well, as far as everyone else knows, but all day, Shiro’s headaches have been hitting him with a vengeance. He sees flashes of light and color, images playing out in his mind whenever these spikes of pain occur, but when the pain passes, he can no longer remember what it was he saw.

One of said spikes comes at the worst time, right as Shiro is needed to power the shield. It hits him suddenly and he cries out, pulling his Galra hand away from the panel to clutch at his head. The pain is extraordinary, like white-hot screws boring into his brain. He lets out a pathetic whimper as he feels Pidge tug him back over to the console but can’t muster anything more.

White. Flashes of bright, blinding white. And a distant roaring sound. That’s all he can remember when he comes to, with Pidge screaming his name.

“ _Shiro!”_

Shiro groans and sits up, rubbing his temples. “I’m okay, Pidge.” He says shakily.

“What happened?” The Green Paladin demands.

“Just a really bad headache. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

But secretly, he’s terrified. He _knew_ something was wrong with him. As soon as they get back to the castle, Shiro jumps on his tablet, trying to call Keith. There is no response, the feed saying Keith is “out of range”. Shiro groans in frustration and sets the tablet down on the table, collapsing onto the bed in a heap.

“Keith,” he whispers, “Please come back soon. I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know ya'll don't like me for cutting off Keith and Krolia like the show did, but the next chapter is exclusively S6E2 and their 2 years on the space whale with the wolf (I refuse to call him Kosmo. I'm with Keith on this one). Plus I wanted to show a bit of what was going through Kuron's head during his brain malfunctions. Poor baby.  
> As for updating the first bit of the story with some S7 compliant scenes, here's the list of chapters that got some edits:  
> 1 (2 scenes altered - right before Shiro meets Keith and at the very end of the chapter)  
> 2 (1 scene altered - after purple socks, 2 scenes added - "I will never give up on you" and one of Adam and Shiro talking about Keith)  
> 3 (2 scenes altered - when Keith goes to Shiro's room and Shiro thinking about Keith's birthday present, 1 scene added - Shiro and Adam break up)  
> 4 (1 scene added - Shiro tells Keith about the breakup/his disease, 1 scene altered - heading back to the Garrison)  
> 5 (Like, one sentence when Shiro breaks his hand)  
> 6 (1 scene added - the cliff jump)  
> 10 (1 scene added - Adam and Shiro talk about Keith, 2 scenes altered - Pre-launch at the ship and after the Kerberos failure announcement and Keith is yelling at Iverson)  
> 11 (1 scene added - Keith runs into Adam)  
> 12 (2 scenes altered - Keith's thoughts on jumping off the cliff and multiple bits in Keith and Shiro's reunion talk at the castle)
> 
> I am exactly what they say I am  
> I stand for everything that they can't stand  
> I can't help it I was born this way  
> But when I'm gone you'll remember my name  
> I am exactly who they say I am  
> Notorious, so notorious  
> \- Notorious, Adelita's Way


	33. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. This week is really not conducive to my typical update schedule but whatever. It's also Fanfiction Writer's Appreciation Day, so there's that. So in celebration, have 7k of Keith and Krolia and their Space Wolf.  
> And happy appreciation day to all my fellow fanfic writers! Ya'll are super!

“You’re my… mom?” Keith asks in a small voice. “H-How? How did you get to Earth? How did you meet my dad? How are you so sure?” All the questions he’s had since finding out he was half-Galra pour out of his mouth without his permission. His mind is reeling, and he feels vaguely sick.

Krolia is giving him a steady, soft look. “I’m sure.” She says quietly. “This isn’t how I hoped to meet you again, and this isn’t how I wanted to tell you. but it’s the truth.” Then she says, “We can talk about this later”, and Keith’s personality comes back online.

“What? You drop a _bomb_ like this and tell me you’ll explain later!?”

“We’ve got more important things to deal with right now.” She says.

“ _No,_ ” Keith snarls, which startles her. “No, you, you don’t get to just _come back_ into my life and act like a goddamn parent! You have _no right_ to even-” Keith’s jaw tenses. “Where the hell were you, huh? Where were you when I was growing up? When I _needed_ you? No, you don’t get to decide when it’s _convenient_ for you! I have been waiting for _years_ for answers and you just…” Keith looks away as his eyes start to sting.

“Where were you when I was…” He starts but chokes off.

“I know you must have mixed feelings about meeting me.” Krolia says quietly. “I don’t blame you for being angry.”

“You are _damn right_ I’m angry!” Keith shouts, which startles her again. “I’m _furious_ , I’m… I feel _sick_.”

He sits heavily in the pilot’s seat and puts his head in his hands. He can feel his breathing start to pick up, but no, _no_ he cannot afford to have a panic attack here. Not now. When they get back to base he can go to the castle and curl up with Clone Shiro and _then_ he can break down, but not here. Not in front of this woman he doesn’t even know.

“Keith,” She reaches out for him.

“Don’t _touch me_.” He hisses, and she jerks her hand back.

He takes a few gulps of air and manages to calm his pounding heart. Eventually, he looks up at her.

“Fine.” He says, clipped. He stands and crosses his arms. “Later. Right now, we have work to do, right?”

Krolia is watching him with uneasy eyes, but she nods. “We’re going after the enriched quintessence that created Ranveig’s superweapon.”

Keith huffs and tries to school his features into something neutral. “Kolivan and I have been searching for that same quintessence for a long time.”

She tells him that she was actually _with_ the crazy warlord when he found the ship. It was destroyed, and empty save for one single container of quintessence.

“I analyzed the ship personally, and the radiation signature indicated it had passed through the quantum abyss.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Quantum abyss? What’s that?”

“It’s a part of the galaxy where neutron stars orbit even larger dark stars. In the quantum abyss, planets and other celestial bodies are pulled and torn in different directions. It’s a chaotic, ever-changing environment. And the presence of such massive objects as unusual effects on gravitational waves, and space-time itself.”

“And that’s where we’re heading.” He deadpans. Well that sounds like a fucking _lovely_ place to be going.

“Yes.”

~*~

They fly in silence, which suits Keith just fine.

His mother. _His mother_. His dad had only ever told him a little bit about her, but Keith had always idolized her as a child. He had dreams, both before and after the fire, that his mother would suddenly walk in the door and scoop him up in her arms, and everything would be okay. He kept having those dreams, even in the system. Even with the man and the woman. Even after the well.

But after The Incident, he stopped dreaming of such impossible things. If she hadn’t come to save him from that, then she was never coming at all.

But now, she has. And Keith is feeling everything and nothing about it. He’s angry and hurt and so _vulnerable_. He needs Shiro so badly. _His_ Shiro. The one who’s been with him for so long. He needs his lover so much that it physically _hurts_. How can he even begin to deal with this alone?

When they arrive, Keith stares in confused awe at the utter clusterfuck before him. Planets seem to be _bleeding_ into a swirl of black energy. Some are spinning around the core at a rapid pace, while others hardly move. The ship is being pulled in several directions that is making it very hard for Keith to steer straight.

“I think we’re here.” He says, just to point out the obvious.

“Bring us in. Stay alert.”

“Are you sure we should go in there?” Keith asks, eyeing the swirling energy. He’s not actually suicidal anymore, thanks.

She tells him about the probes and about a path that is _maybe_ safe but that really doesn’t make him feel _better_.

Especially when the crazy time spiders attack and rip the ship to shreds.

They have to bail, and now they’re trapped near a quantum time-fuck with no way forward or back.

 “What were those things?” he asks.

“I don’t know, but they’re gone now.”

“So is our ship. It had the coordinates to guide us through the quantum abyss.”

 _So much for my first road trip with mom_. He thinks sardonically.

“We’ll have to make due. Come on.” She jets away. Keith sighs in frustration and follows.

After a bit, everything starts shaking, and they see some sort of energy wave coming towards them from the core.

“What’s going on?” Keith calls.

The light gets closer, and just before it reaches them, Krolia jets over and covers Keith’s body with her own, trying to shield him. Then he whites out.

He comes too still shielding his face, and jumps, scrambling back when he realizes he is not where he just was, and is wearing his civvies for some reason. He looks around at the blank whiteness, wondering if he’s dead now, then he hears a baby crying.

He turns his head to see… his old house. The one he lived in with his dad. Before the shack. His dad is standing there, hands on his hips, and next to him is Krolia. She’s holding a small bundle in her arms, and its only when he hears a baby again that he realizes she’s holding _him_. Baby him. He takes a few steps closer.

“We’ll name him Yurak.” Krolia says fondly, gazing down at baby-Keith’s face with a soft look.

His dad’s face scrunches, but then he smiles nervously. “How about, ‘Keith’?”

Krolia’s smile widens. “Keith. I like that.”

Suddenly everything goes dark, and his parents disappear.

“Hello, Keith.” He hears Shiro’s voice say.

Keith turns.

He’s standing in some sort of facility, and Shiro is standing before him, decked out in his paladin armor. But something’s not right. He looks, crazed, demented, like something’s not right in his head.

Bits and pieces of his own and Shiro’s voices float through his head, too disjointed for him to really understand what they’re saying. The only clear thing he hears is himself screaming Shiro’s name.

He jerks awake then, back on the asteroid in the quantum abyss, with Krolia hovering over him worriedly.

“What was that?” he asks frantically. “Were those visions real?”

“Time elapses, this close to dark stars.” Krolia says, pushing herself to her feet. “Going through the light triggers glimpses of the past. And the future.”

“Well, that’s not going to get weird.” He mutters, ignoring her hand when she reaches out for him. “Come on.”

They keep moving forwards, but Keith, being the dumbass that he is, nearly gets sucked into the void. Krolia saves him, and grips his hand to keep him from dying, then another wave hits.

He watches Krolia crash on Earth when she stops a Galra from reporting the discovery of the Blue Lion. Sees her meet his dad.

He comes back a little slower this time, and Krolia tugs him down.

“That’s how you and dad met.” He says quietly. Then he turns to look at her. “How did you know to look for the Blue Lion on Earth?”

“We didn’t.” She says. “After Sendak found the Red Lion-”

So the fucker had had his girl for a long time before they got her back. Keith grimaces.

“-the Galra engineered a way to pick up on the lions’ signatures from close-range. Zarkon had thousands of scouts searching for them. The Blade of Marmora made sure to imbed agents into as many of those scout teams as possible in an effort to prevent the Galra from obtaining anymore lions. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

Huh.

Then _another_ wave hits them, dammit.

He sees Krolia and his dad with the Blue Lion. She’d been there for months. They’re already together, clearly, because he sees her give his dad the same look he knows he gives Shiro.

“You were stuck on Earth.” Keith says, when the vision releases them.

She turns to look at him. “There was no better place I could be.” She says softly.

After that, they keep moving. They move for what feels like hours, but don’t seem to be getting any closer. Eventually, he stops and looks at her.

“At the rate we’re going it’s going to take a lifetime to reach the end.”

Krolia turns to him. “We have to keep moving. However long it takes.”

“Without food and water, we’re never going to make it. We have to come up with another plan.” He points out, and she growls lowly, as if just remembering this key fact.

Then the giant space whales show up, and then they’re sucked into another vision.

He comes to in his father’s bedroom. It’s dark, and Krolia and his dad are sitting on the bed. Krolia is holding baby-him again and feeding him from a bottle. It’s all very sweet and domestic. Then her blade glows.

He watches her take down a Galra scout party and sees his dad get shot, but they kill all the Galra in the end before they can alert anyone else.

He sees them return to the house at dawn, sees his dad pull a blanket up over baby-Keith’s sleeping form while Krolia leans against the window.

“I must go.” She says to him, and her voice cracks.

His dad doesn’t look up. “I thought you’d seen enough war.”

“If they found the Blue Lion once, they’ll find it again. I need to report back to the Blades and stop the Galra from the inside.”

She walks over to him slowly and places a hand on top of his where it rests on Keith’s crib.

“I’m sorry,” She murmurs, “But this is the best way for me to keep you both safe.”

He nods, and then she leans down and kisses baby-Keith’s cheek.

She straightens, and pulls out her blade, handing it to his dad. “This is for Keith.” She says quietly. “He may need it someday.”

The next image is of his dad holding him and standing in the yard, watching a red streak of light rise into the sky.

When he comes to, he looks over at Krolia, who is still staring into the distance, as if still caught in the memory.

“I know now why you left.” He says hollowly. “You put the mission above all else.”

“That’s not true.” She murmurs. “I left to protect the person I most love,” She turns to look at him. “You.”

Keith’s jaw clenches. He doesn’t know if he believes that. If he _can_ believe that.

Suddenly, another one of the space whales come, and they decide that jumping on its back is the best idea ever, but they survive.

They walk for a while, trying to reach the “mountains” on the thing’s back, and then realize it’s generating oxygen. Which means they can take off their helmets, much to Keith’s relief. They keep walking.

“How long do you think this will take?” Keith asks as they climb over a small hill.

“Who knows.” Krolia replies. “It could take years, or days, or seconds. Remember, time is strange in this place.”

“Right. Fantastic.” Keith mutters. He looks up and realizes with a jolt that it’s growing steadily _darker_. “This thing has a day/night cycle.” He says, surprised.

“So it would seem.”

Keith huffs a laugh. “I’ve seen a lot of weird shit since I became a paladin, but this is one of the weirdest.”

She turns to look at him in surprise. “You’re a Paladin of Voltron?”

“Sort of.” he says uneasily. Shit. “I was the Red Paladin, but then for a while I was the Black Paladin, and now I’m just working with the Blade, so.”

Krolia raises an eyebrow. “The Red Paladin who fought Zarkon one on one?”

Keith groans. “ _Yes_ , okay, I know it was dumb but what else was I supposed to do?”

Krolia shrugs and gives him a little smile. “I’m not judging. I would have done the same thing.”

Keith tilts his head. Huh.

A while later, after it’s grown fully dark, they see a streak of light overhead, like a comet, fall to the whale’s back not far from them.

“Let’s check it out.” Keith urges, and Krolia follows reluctantly.

It only takes them ten minutes to reach the crater. Keith moves some plants out of the way and gazes down at a surprising sight. It hadn’t been a comet at all. It had been a _puppy_.

The canine-like creature is colored black, gray and electric blue and seems to be no more than a couple months old, judging by its tiny stature. Several crab-like creatures surround it, clearly planning to use the puppy as their next meal. Keith acts without thinking, cutting down the closest one, forcing Krolia to cover him and take down the other one.

She turns and aims her gun at the puppy next, but Keith jumps in front of it. “Wait!”

She hastily pulls the gun up so it’s no longer aimed at him and looks at him in bewilderment. “What?”

“I don’t think it’s dangerous,” he says.

“How can you be so sure?” She asks, leaning around him to glare at the tiny scrap of fur.

“Call it a hunch.” He says, then turns around and crouches in front of the puppy, who lets out a tiny growl and slinks back.

“Easy,” he says quietly, tugging off his glove and reaching a hand out. “It’s okay little guy, you’re safe now.”

The puppy eyes his fingers for a moment, then leans forward to nose at them curiously. Its nose is cool and dry and then a sandpaper-like tongue darts out and laps at his fingertips, causing Keith to smile. He’s always liked animals more than people. At least you know where you stand with animals.

“There we go. See? We’re okay.” He murmurs. The puppy yips and looks up at him with big yellow eyes, tail beginning to wag slowly.

“We should find shelter. Make a fire. And have ourselves a meal.” Krolia says, jerking her head towards the slain beasts.

“Right.” Keith stands and waves at the puppy before he goes to help her with carrying the carcasses. The puppy follows, yipping again and bumping up against his leg. Keith looks down in surprise.

“You wanna come with us, little guy?” He asks. The puppy yips again, and Keith grins, looking up at an unamused Krolia.

“You know, I always wanted a dog, but I could never have one.” The house had never allowed it, and neither had the garrison. He and Shiro had talked about getting one once they’d both graduated (mostly as a therapy dog for Shiro, but still), but obviously, that had not happened.

Krolia’s expression softens and she sighs. “Fine.”

Keith grins again and the two of them venture deeper into the mountains, the puppy following close behind.

~*~

They find a shallow cave that provides good cover and set up camp, building a fire and cooking their kills. Keith feeds the dog some of the raw meat and it lets him pet it. At one point it tries to take some from Krolia, who holds it out of reach with a stern look.

The puppy whines, but Krolia just growls. “Not for you.” She says.

The puppy stares at her hand for another few moments, then it blinks out of existence for a second, reappearing with a bright spark of light by Krolia’s upraised hand and snatching the food out of it before landing deftly next to her, licking its lips.

Keith and Krolia both stare at the puppy for a long moment.

“My dog can teleport.” Keith says dumbly. Then he grins.

~*~

Two weeks pass without much incident, but one morning, Keith wakes and turns over to see Krolia staring at him with sad eyes.

“What?” he asks defensively, the puppy stirring at his side and pressing his furry face against Keith’s ribs.

“When did your father die?” She asks quietly.

Keith flinches. They’ve been getting more of those past flashes, and Keith has seen a lot of his mother’s early life, and even some of his own childhood. The good parts. But he guesses she saw… something, that clued her in.

“When I was six.” Keith says quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest. “There was a fire, and he, he went back inside. They told him not to, but he wanted to help. And he never came back out.”

“Keith…”

Keith shakes his head and combs his fingers through the pup’s fur when he begins to while quietly. He’s good at sensing Keith’s distress.

“I went into the foster system after that. It’s a shitty system, with no funding, at least not where I was. I was neglected and abused for the rest of my childhood, until I went to the Garrison.” They’ve also had flashes of his classes and the simulators, so he’s explained his schooling. Thankfully she was familiar with it because of his dad.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispers.

“Nothing you can do about it now, is there?” he asks sharply, then he stands. “I’m going to go find food.” He ignores the massive stockpile they have, and Krolia doesn’t mention it either.

He wanders out into the forest, the pup trailing behind him. He thinks maybe he should give him a name, but nothing he comes up with seems right, so for now he’ll stay “the puppy”. Either way, Keith’s glad he’s there. He walks for a while before he finds the river and sits by it, sighing in frustration. He really doesn’t know how to talk to Krolia.

He pets the pup and looks at the water for a long time, but then the familiar rumble starts, and Keith is shoved into another memory.

_“Hello.”_

_Keith jolts and glances up at the older cadet standing in front of him, smiling down at him happily. Keith scowls. Who the hell does this guy think he is?_

_“What?” he growls, shoulders tensing in preparation for a fight._

_“Mind if I sit here?” The man asks, pointing at the empty chair across from him._

_Keith raises an eyebrow. “Why?”_

_The man shrugs. “Because I would like to sit with you.”_

_Keith glares up at the guy. What the fuck is his angle?_

_“Why?” He asks again._

_“Because I want to get to know you.”_

_Keith stares at the man for a long moment, but decides it’s not worth a fight in the middle of the cafeteria. So he shrugs a shoulder and looks back down at his tray._

_“Do whatever the fuck you want.”_

_“Thank you.” The man says as he sits down._

_Keith raises an eyebrow at him again. Seriously. What’s his angle?_

_“I’m Shiro.” The man says, smiling again. “It’s nice to meet you.”_

_Shiro… oh god, he recognizes that name. “I know who you are. You’re the bigshot pilot everyone here keeps comparing me to. The real-life superman.” He sneers. People keep telling him he’d be just as good a pilot as Shiro if he could learn some_ discipline _._

_Shiro shrugs once more, still smiling irritatingly. “I don’t know about that. I just do what they tell me.”_

_Keith snorts, rolling his eyes. “Sure.”_

_“Are you going to tell me your name?” The man – Shiro – asks._

_“You don’t know it?” Keith huffs._

_“I know your last name.” Shiro admits. “But I don’t know your first, and I’d rather not call you ‘Cadet Kogane’.”_

_Keith eyes the man for a long moment before answering. “Keith. My name’s Keith.”_

_This makes Shiro grin again. “Nice to meet you, Keith.”_

_That earns him a startled laugh. People were not inclined to say such things about him. “You’re a strange guy, Shirogane.”_

_“Please, call me Shiro. Everyone does.” Shiro insists._

_“Really fucking strange.” Keith says harshly, but Shiro just laughs._

_And that’s how he meets the love of his life._

Keith comes to with a groan. God, he doesn’t like getting memories of Shiro. They hurt too much.

He sighs and makes his way back to camp, where Krolia is waiting.

“Who was that man?” She asks, and Keith groans again. “I’ve seen him in some of your other memories.”

Keith huffs but figures it’s going to come up a lot anyway. A lot of his memories are with Shiro.

“He’s my boyfriend.” He says, then gives Krolia an abbreviated version of his and Shiro’s history, leaving out anything too revealing of his past or too… explicit. He even tells her about Real Shiro vanishing and how the current Shiro is a clone.

“So Shiro… he’s your mate.” She says after he’s done.

“Yeah, sure, if that’s what Galra call it.” he shrugs. “I love him more than anything in the universe, and I won’t rest until I find the real one and bring him home.”

“And what of the clone?”

“Oh he’s not going anywhere.” Keith snaps. “I care about him now too, dammit, so I will take my boyfriend and his clone and I will put them in a place where they can’t get hurt ever again.”

Krolia smiles gently. “I can’t wait to meet him. Them.”

That gives Keith pause. Is he going to introduce his estranged mother to his currently-missing boyfriend? Probably, all things considered, but he has no idea what Shiro’s reaction might be. He guesses he’ll find out once he finds Shiro again. And once they finally get off the whale.

~*~

Keith doesn’t pay attention to the looks Krolia gives him as he peels out of the top half of his suit. It’s hot and he’s sweating, and if she asks about his scars, he’ll ignore her.

“What is that around your neck?” She asks, and that gives him pause.

“It’s a bead.” He says, and automatically reaches up to finger it. Most of the time he forgets he’s wearing it, it’s just… always there. “Shiro gave it to me on my seventeenth birthday. I wear it every day.”

She tilts her head and smiles. “A courting gift?”

“We weren’t, uh, _courting_ when he gave it to me, but it was the first thing he ever gave me. And I’ve always treasured it. He carved it himself, so it’s very personal.”

“May I see?”

He hesitates, then shrugs and drops it back to his chest. She leans over and takes it between two clawed fingers, examining it closely. “What are the markings?”

“It’s kanji, which is the writing system of Shiro’s native language. The symbol means ‘courage’.”

“He knew you well, even then.” She says quietly and releases it.

Keith shrugs again. “I guess he did.”

“Is that also what’s on your chest? The line work seems similar.” She says, gesturing to the small tattoo over his heart.

“Yeah, it’s kanji too, but it means… something else.” He pulls his knees to his chest and looks down at the little square. “I got this after Shiro disappeared. When I thought he was dead the first time. The kanji is the word ‘white’ in Japanese. But, the Japanese word for white is, is Shiro.”

“You got it to remember him. To honor him.”

“Yes.”

She looks at him steadily. “He seems to be more than just a ‘boyfriend’.”

“He is more.” Keith says. “He’s, he’s everything. I love him more than anything.”

“Will you bond with him?”

“What like, marry him?” Keith frowns. “Well, we’ve never talked about it. And things are way to hectic right now to think about it, but maybe after this is all over… maybe then we can talk about it.”

Krolia shrugs and leans back. “Life is far to short for hypothetical eventualities, firecracker. You’ve already lost him twice. Do you really want to wait?”

Keith doesn’t respond. But he thinks over her words for a long time.

~*~

Keith still has his nightmares. Of course he does. The pup is becoming a fantastic therapy dog, waking Keith up with gentle whimpers and timid licks, then lets Keith cling to him until he’s settled. Krolia never tries to help him anymore, not after the first time she’d tried and he’d flinched away from her, screaming. She’d asked about them but he is staying very tight lipped about the subject.

Until one night, three months into their sojourn on the whale.

Keith is reliving The Incident. Every detail in vivid clarity, and he can’t wake up. He tries, god, does he try, but he can’t escape it. He screams himself hoarse trying.

He finally, _finally_ jolts upright, choking on a sob. Fuck, but it had been so _real_. His dreams are never that specific, that long, or that vivid. What the fuck?

Then he hears Krolia’s choked voice behind him. “ _Keith…”_ and then Keith understands.

That hadn’t been a dream. That had been brought on by the memory flashes. Which means that Krolia had seen every second of it.

“Oh god,” he whispers, and curls into a ball. The pup whines and presses tightly against him.

“Keith, kit, oh gods…” Krolia chokes out.

“Do you understand now, why I can’t forgive you for leaving?” Keith rasps. “When your absence led to… to _that_?”

“ _When did this happen?”_ Krolia says, voice cracking.

“I was fourteen.” Keith says numbly. “I had been with that man for a month when that night happened, and he’d done much the same, every night.”

“Keith,” Krolia lets out a sob. “Keith, kitling, I’m so sorry. I’m so, _so_ sorry, I… I thought I was keeping you _safe!_ I thought my absence would _help_ , I, I never would have left if I’d had _any_ idea, I…” She whines in the back of her throat, sounding like a dying animal. “Gods, you must hate me for leaving you to that fate.”

Keith shrugs. He doesn’t know if he’d go that far, but, it certainly never would have happened if she’d been there.

“I used to dream about you coming back for me.” He whispers. “But not anymore. Not after that.”

She chokes out his name again, and he can sense her reach for him, but he pulls away. “It’s because of that that I don’t like being touched. It’s because of that that I don’t trust people. Shiro is my exception, but even that took a while.”

“I… I understand, I just… I wish there was something I could do.” She says brokenly.

“You’re about six years too late for that.” He says quietly.

Neither of them sleep for the rest of the night.

~*~

Eventually, he tells her the whole story. All of his abuses, all his hardships. He never thought he’d even tell this story _once,_ but here he is doing it for the second time in a year. He tells her about how the people in the home never believed him, how that made him close himself off from the world, and that leads to explaining how Shiro got past his walls, not by force, but by waiting until Keith was ready to let him in.

He also says how he’s grown to trust the others in the Castle of Lions, but that it took a great deal of time and tragedy for him to do so.

She listens in silence until he is done, then she says “I understand. I finally feel like I know who my son is. You are stronger than anyone I have ever met. You have overcome a great deal of pain and loss and suffering, and you’re still here. I’m… forgive me for saying this, but I am so proud of you.”

Keith looks up at her, the look on her face a mix of pain and pride, and Keith smiles a little. “Thanks.”

~*~

Sometimes Keith’s dreams are not so bad. Sometimes he dreams of good things. and sometimes he wakes to discover they were not dreams, and then he gets questioned by Krolia. But he doesn’t mind talking about the good things.

This time, he knows what he’s seeing is not a dream, but _god_ does he wish it was. He does _not_ want to talk about _this_ with his _mother_.

It’s the night he and Shiro first slept together.

To be fair, it is one of his most treasured memories, especially since it was also the night they told each other “I love you” for the first time. He doesn’t mind reliving this one night over again. But, he knows that when the memory ends, his _mother_ will have seen it all as well and _oh god_ he does not want to have that discussion.

He can tell the memory is almost over, because he and Shiro have both come, and he’s curled up in Shiro’s lap, clinging to him and still panting raggedly.

_“Good boy,” Shiro whispers, clinging to Keith a little tighter. “Such a good boy for me. You did so good, baby, so proud of you.”_

_Keith makes a tiny, pleased noise and presses himself further into Shiro’s neck. “Love you, Shiro.” He whispers. “I really, really do.”_

_“And I love you.” A kiss is pressed to the top of Keith’s head, and Shiro’s arms start stroking over his back, soothing him. “So much, Keith.”_

_Keith breathes out slowly and leans all of his weight on Shiro, any last bit of tension leaving him at Those Three Words. “Thank you for this, Shiro. Thank you for making this a good thing.”_

_“You don’t have to thank me, Keith. I’m just, honored, that you trusted me enough to do this for you.” Shiro murmurs._

_“Only you. Only ever you.” Keith says quietly. And it’s true._

_He pulls back to look up at Shiro. “I love you.” He says again, smiling softly._

_Shiro nudges their foreheads together again and matches Keith’s smile with one of his own. “I love you too.” He kisses his forehead then pulls back. “Now let me get up.”_

_Keith huffs and nuzzles back into Shiro’s neck. “Why?” He whines petulantly. He’s_ comfortable _dammit._

_“Because we need to clean up so we can sleep comfortably.”_

_Keith glances down at the mess on their stomachs and grimaces. “Yeah, okay.”_

_Shiro lifts him off and they both shudder at the feeling. He sets Keith down on the bed and ducks into the little bathroom, coming back in short order with a cloth that he wipes Keith down with. Once he’s done with himself, Keith tugs on him until they’re both under the covers._

_“Are you alright?” Shiro asks, pressing up against Keith._

_“Oh yeah.” Keith sighs, and presses closer in return. “I’m absolutely perfect, Takashi. I, I really do love you.”_

_“And I really do love you, Keith, always.”_

_Keith smiles, feeling happier than he’s ever been in his entire life, and he falls asleep to the gentle sounds of Shiro’s breathing and heartbeat._

Keith’s eyes open after the memory releases him and sighs. Oh boy.

He turns slowly and sees Krolia standing in the entrance of their cave, her back to him. Okay so she definitely saw all of that. Fuck.

He sits up slowly, the pup stirring as he moves and wagging his tail sleepily.

“Um,” Keith says hesitantly. Best to go ahead and get this out of the way. “I’m, so sorry you had to be subjected to that. That was… yeah.” Good job, Kogane.

Krolia shakes her head, still not turning to look at him. “No, it’s not as if you choose which memories will be seen, and… in a strange way, I’m glad I saw it.”

Keith gapes at his mother’s back. “I, you, _what?”_

“I know now how much you trust Shiro. And how much he loves you.” She turns to him and smiles. “I truly cannot wait to meet him, now.”

Keith leans back on his hands. “I, okay then.”

And they never, ever speak of it again. Thank god.

~*~

“Dinner’s ready, firecracker.”

Keith wanders over to the fire and takes the meat Krolia gives him, quirking an eyebrow. “Hey, why do you call me that?”

Krolia raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Firecracker. ‘Kit’ makes sense, Kolivan calls me that too, but where did firecracker come from? It seems very… human.”

Krolia looks down and picks a loose bone out of her food, dropping it down and letting the wolf snap it in two.

“Your father called you that once.” She says quietly. “We saw them, fireworks, during an Earth celebration. You were only a few months old. He said ‘Keith’s going to be a lot like these firecrackers when he grows up, quick and fiery. Pretty to look at but deadly if you’re not careful. Just like his mother’. It stuck with me. And when I saw you for the first time… I realized he’d been right.”

Keith is quiet for a long minute. “He always said I took after you. He would never tell me much about you, I guess for obvious reasons, but he always said you were beautiful and deadly and impossibly tall. And that, that you had loved me.”

She smiles a little. “I did.” She looks up at him. “I do.”

Keith is, maybe, starting to believe that.

~*~

They’ve been on the whale for a year.

One whole year.

Keith is starting to panic a little.

“What, what if time isn’t as skewed as we think it is?” Keith asks Krolia one night, panic mounting in his chest. “What if we really have been gone a year? Or, or _longer?_ The others, they’ll think I’m dead, _Shiro_ will think I’m dead and if they find the real one what are they going to tell _him_ and what if they hurt the clone because they don’t know it’s not his fault and… oh _god_ …”

His chest is tightening. He can’t breathe.

“Keith,” Krolia says firmly, “Kit, look at me.”

Keith glances up at his mother, still trying to gulp down air that doesn’t seem to be there.

“Keith,” She says again, taking one of his hands very carefully in her own. “There’s no use worrying about something out of your control. We will eventually find the end of this, and as soon as we finish our mission, I will take you back to the castle. We will get you home as soon as we can, but we can’t control how quickly that will be. In the meantime, you will just have to trust your friends.”

“I do.” Keith says shakily. “I do trust them.”

“Then trust that they’ll still be waiting for you when you get back.”

“Yeah,” He breathes out. They will be.

Suddenly, he feels exhausted, and falls to the side, leaning heavily against Krolia, who stiffens at the contact.

“Thank you.” He murmurs.

Krolia hesitates for a moment, but then wraps her arms around Keith’s shoulders. He doesn’t flinch.

“Of course.” She says. And they sit there in silence for a long time, and Keith begins to understand what it means, to have a mother.

~*~

The rest of their time on the whale is easier. Keith starts trusting his mother, though he’s still cautious about it. But Krolia is always there when he wants to talk. She’s even been able to call him out of his nightmares on more than one occasion. He’s comfortable with her touching him, and even falls asleep some nights pressed to her side as she tells him stories of her time with the Blade or misadventures she had with his dad on Earth.

He gets to know her with each new story and feels more comfortable sharing the moments the abyss doesn’t force him to disclose. She also teaches him a lot about the Blade, and the actual blade the two of them share. He learns a lot, after he realizes she wants to teach.

In the quiet moments, Keith attempts to teach the wolf to fetch, with hilarious results. Though as he ages, he gets more adept at his teleportation. They even discover, much to Krolia’s panic and chagrin, that he’s capable of taking Keith with him when he teleports.

“Please stop kidnapping my son whenever you want more snuggles.” She admonishes the canine after he poofs Keith to the other side of the whale. The wolf chuffs quietly and licks her cheek in apology. Krolia just rolls her eyes.

Their cave is starting to look more like a _home_ , now. It has a chimney and more of an overhang, and the fireplace mantle is covered in various bones and rocks and other knick-knacks they’ve picked up. Keith feels at peace here, with his mother and his wolf. More at peace than he’s felt since his Shiro vanished. He almost wants to stay. But they can’t. They are needed.

But another year passes, in quiet, gentle domesticity, before they are called upon to finish their mission. And in that time, Keith starts thinking of Krolia less like _Krolia_ , and more like _Mom_. He thinks, in these two years, he’s grown to fully trust his mother; even trust her as much as he trusts the others in the castle. It’s a strange thing, knowing he has family that loves him, but he thinks he’s getting used to it.

It’s a quiet day. Keith is kneeling outside their cave, combing through the wolf’s long fur. He’s due for another trim, Keith thinks. And has he gotten even _bigger_ in the past few months?

“Keith,” His mom says behind him. “I think we’ve made it.”

Keith sighs and stands. They’ve seen it coming for a month now, but it’s still a bit of a shock.

Time to face the real world again.

He turns and absentmindedly brushes his hair away from his neck. It _also_ needs a bit of a trim.

“It’s been two years.” He says quietly. “We can finally finish our mission.”

Krolia turns to him and smiles wryly. They smile the exact same way, Keith has noticed. “Makes you want to ignore it and just stay here forever, huh?”

Keith shrugs a shoulder, smiling back. “A little. But we have people who need us.”

“True enough.”

They pack up their few acquired keepsakes from the cave and look around for a long moment. They will never be coming back here. It hurts, more than Keith expected it to.

“Come on, firecracker,” Krolia says, gripping his shoulder. “Time to do this.”

Keith nods, then whistles, and the wolf pops up beside him, tail wagging in excitement.

“Come on, buddy.” He says. “Time to say goodbye.” The wolf whines and circles around the cave once, sniffing everything in his own sort of goodbye, then falls into step beside Keith as they begin their trek to the edge of the whale.

They arrive, and then all they have to do is wait. They don’t wait long.

Suddenly, the blurred stars they’ve grown used to seeing all around them come to a dizzying halt, and Keith stares in amazement.

“Look, a planet.”

“I’m picking up some readings similar to those Ranveig found.”

“Well, guess the two-year road trip wasn’t a waste of time.” Keith says, and pulls up his hood, activating his mask. He grimaces as he does. He’s grown in the past two years, and the whole suit has grown uncomfortably tight. He cannot _wait_ to get into some clothes that actually fit him. Krolia slides on her own helmet, and they wait for the creature to get close to the planet.

“Jump!” Krolia yells, and leaps off the whale, the place that has been their home, without looking back. Keith does though, one last time. He smiles sadly, then reaches down to rub the wolf’s ears. “Follow us down, boy.” He says, then he jumps as well.

They land on purplish ground covered in vines, and the wolf pops into existence right next to Keith a few seconds later.

“This is the source of the readings.” Krolia says, and Keith looks up to see a vaguely Galra-looking building a few miles away. “Let’s go check it out.”

It takes them no time at all to reach the building, thanks to their teleporting cosmic wolf. They break in through the top and follow long, empty hallways for a while before coming to an innocuous door that opens into… a meadow? Keith is confused.

“What is this place? Where in the hell are we?” Keith hisses.

“I have no idea.” Krolia says, expression grim. She hates not knowing things.

They venture into the nearby woods, following the sounds of flowing water.

Suddenly, Keith hears humming, and stops, holding out a hand. “Wait, I hear something.”

He sees the moment Krolia catches it too, and they sneak towards the sound, coming from the river. Keith peers around a large tree and sees a young woman about his age washing sheets in the river. Her back is to him, so he takes a moment to study her. She has long, pale blonde hair done in pigtails and loose, flowing clothing. And her ears are… pointed…

Okay, maybe Keith doesn’t know that many aliens, but she looks almost like…

She turns when the wolf steps on a twig.

She has pale purple eyes – that are currently widening in shock – as well as teal triangular markings on her cheeks.

Son of a bitch. “An _Altean_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had mixed feelings about how they handled Krolia and Keith's reunion. I love that they had two years to bond (with their dog) but I wish Keith had gotten angry. I sure as hell would have been. I expected it and was a little weirded out that he seemed too neutral to the fact that his mom just dropped back into his life. So writing this was somewhat self-indulgent but especially in this AU, Keith had a right to be pissed, I think.  
> Anyway, that's my opinion. Next chapter is Romelle (precious girl) and the Colony!
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and The Black Paladins.
> 
> Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while  
> But my god it's so beautiful when the boy smiles  
> Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it  
> Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable  
> And life's like an hourglass glued to the table  
> No one can find the rewind button, boys  
> So cradle your head in your hands  
> And breathe, just breathe  
> Oh breathe, just breathe  
> \- Breathe (2 A.M.), Anna Nalick


	34. Let the Flames Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Romelle!
> 
> And The Black Paladins.

While Keith is still trying to process this impossibility before him, the girl utters a little scream and tries to flee.

“Wait!” Keith calls, sprinting after her. “Buddy! A little help!” He calls over his shoulder.

The wolf yips and pops in front of the girl, causing her to skid to a halt.

“Wait wait wait,” Keith says, slowing as he approaches her. She turns, eyes wide with fear and trembling like a leaf. Keith holds his hands up in what he hopes is a universal gesture of peace. “Hey, easy, we’re not gonna hurt you.”

“You’re Galra,” the girl chokes, her accent the same almost-British that Allura’s is, if with slightly different inflection.

“Yes,” Keith says slowly, “But _not_ the genocidal kind. And I’m only half Galra!”

The girl’s knees give out then, and Keith rushes to catch her as she falls.

“Easy,” he says again.

“Are, are you with, with _Lotor?”_ She asks, terror clear in her voice. “I knew it. He did see me, and now he’s going to kill me so I don’t talk.”

“Wait wait wat, you know Lotor?” Keith frowns. “I mean, so do I, but to be honest I kind of hate the guy.”

“So he didn’t send you to kill me?” She whispers.

“No.”

“ _Oh_ ,” The girl sags in relief. “Oh, thank the Ancients.”

“We clearly started this wrong,” Keith says gently. “How about we do this again? I’m Keith. The giant fluff monster behind you is my wolf, and the Galra behind me is my mother, Krolia.”

“Hello.” Krolia says, softly, so as not to startle the girl again. The wolf sneezes.

“I… I’m Romelle.” The Altean says at length.

“Okay, Romelle. Can you tell us why you’re so scared of Lotor?”

So she does. She tells them about how Lotor saved the last Alteans and made them a colony, then how her parents, then her little brother were part of a select few chosen every generation to go to a secret second colony.

“Bandor was gone for a month when the communicator he gave me started working.” She whispers. They’re all huddled at the base of a tree now, and Romelle has her knees pulled to her chest. “He, he called me and told me to meet him here in the forest. When I found him, he was in a crashed shuttle, and his… his body… he was wearing some sort of jumpsuit. I could see his ribs through it. he was s-so skinny, and he had deep lines etched into his face as if he’d been aged _decapheebs_. And he, I took him in my arms and he told me that… that what Lotor had told us about the second colony was a _lie_ , and then he… he…!” She chokes on a sob. “He died in my arms!”

The wolf whines and curls around the girl, nuzzling her as she cries, like he often does for Keith.

“Fuck,” Keith whispers.

“But what is he doing to those Alteans?” Krolia asks, frowning.

“Well we’d best find out.” Keith says grimly. “Because I have a feeling it has something to do with that quintessence.”

“Quintessence?” Romelle asks, sniffling and wiping her eyes. The wolf licks her cheek.

They end up telling her about why they are there in the first place, and what they hope to discover. “And if being around Allura has taught me anything, it’s that Alteans are very sensitive to quintessence. I can’t help but feel like there’s a connection.” Keith finishes.

“I have a fear that you may be correct.” Romelle whispers. Then she glances up at the sky, which is steadily growing darker. “Come, we must get out of the woods. My home is on the edge of town, it should be easy to sneak you in.”

They follow her to her house, and with their wolf, they don’t even need to go around the front, they just pop into her living room, causing her to yelp.

“Sorry,” Keith says. “Forgot to warn you.”

“It’s, alright.” She says weakly, hand clutching her chest.

They all sit around and start trying to figure out how to find this “second colony”.

“Given your brother’s weakened state, he couldn’t have piloted his ship for very long.” Keith points out. “The other colony has to be nearby.”

“There is a moon orbiting this planet that could house a colony,” Krolia says slowly,

Well it’s… our only lead.” Keith sighs. He looks over at his mom. “But how will we get there?”

“I have an idea.” Romelle says, standing from her bed. “Come with me.”

They follow her out of her house and through the back parts of town, arriving at an abandoned facility of some sort. Romelle leads them around the back on the upper level, them down a set of stairs to another, smaller building. 

“These transports haven’t been used in generations,” She says as she opens the door. “None of the Alteans in the colony would know how to fly one, even if we desired to.”

Keith takes one look at the pod and smirks. “I think I got us covered there.”

It’s exactly like the ones in the castle, if a little stiffer. Keith ignores the fact that he hasn’t flown anything in two years and the fact that the last two Altean pods he flew blew up. No need for Romelle to know about those. Krolia knows, but she’s not saying anything either.

Keith gets them out of the colony and off the planet with no one the wiser. They approach the moon slowly but there seem to be no defenses. They scan the surface for a while before Krolia taps his shoulder, pointing out her side of the ship.

“There’s something down there.”

“Jackpot.” Keith mutters, taking the ship down to the building below.

They sneak in through the doorway, but there doesn’t seem to be any sort of security. It’s not really surprising. Romelle has already said that none of the Alteans could leave the planet, and how could Lotor anticipate they would find their way through the quantum abyss? Or that they would have any reason to, especially now that they are allies?

They break into a room that appears at the end of the hall and are faced with loads of cylinders.

“The fuck is this place?” Keith mutters. They walk down the corridor and he gets a bad, bad feeling.

It is proven even worse when Romelle stops in front of one and wipes away the dust and condensation. She gasps and staggers back. “No! Petrulius!” She looks around frantically at all the cylinders. Keith looks at the shriveled Altean in the cylinder and snarls.

“What’s happening to them? These people were supposed to be headed to the colony!” Romelle says shakily.

Keith frowns and clenches his fists. “Lotor is harvesting their quintessence.” He whirls and slams a fist into a nearby beam with a shout of frustration. “Jesus _shit_.” He hisses. “I _knew_ it. I _knew_ I hated that bastard for a reason! I _knew_ we couldn’t trust him! When I see him again I am going to kick his scrawny ass out a damn airlock!”

“Keith,” Krolia places a hand on his shoulder. “Not now.”

Keith turns and sees Romelle trembling again. Dammit. He walks over and takes her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. “We’re stopping this here and now.” He says firmly. “We are going to get back to my team and we are all going to kick Lotor’s ass. No more Alteans will suffer this fate, I promise you.”

She looks up at him for a long moment, then throws her arms around him. “Thank you, Keith.”

He holds still for a long moment before patting her back awkwardly. “Sure.” He turns to Krolia. “We have to get to the castle. Lotor is with them, and Shiro will know how to handle this.”

Krolia nods, and together, they lead the girl out of the hall of horrors.

“Who is Shiro?” Romelle asks quietly.

“My boyfriend.” Keith says, clutching at any subject that will get her mind off what she just saw. “He’s the Black Paladin of Voltron and the best person in the universe. Technically the one we’re going to go see right now is a clone and the real one is missing, but don’t tell him that, he tries so hard.”

Romelle laughs shakily. “You seem to love him a great deal.”

“I love both of them.” Keith says easily. “And believe me when I say that he’ll know what to do. He always does.”

Romelle asks him more about Shiro, and as he is Keith’s favorite subject, he is happy to tell her all about his boyfriend. Both versions. Romelle curls up with the wolf and Krolia in the cargo hold for their flight and listens to him babble away over the intercom. For two days. Romelle seems perfectly content to let him gush about his boyfriend though, even asking questions on occasion. His mother just sighs.

“I’ve been hearing all of this for the past two years.” She tells Romelle once when Keith stops to breathe. “I’m greatly looking forward to meeting him.”

“I am too.” Romelle says sleepily. “He seems wonderful. Just like you and Keith.”

Keith does _not_ blush.

(Okay, maybe he does a little)

~*~

Shiro frowns and rubs at his temple absently as they wait for Allura and Lotor to return from the quinessence field. He’d thought that the day of Monsters and Mana had helped it, but it just came back worse the next day. Shiro sighs in aggravation.

Suddenly, the castle’s alarms go off.

“What is that?” Hunk asks, and Coran taps around on the interface.

“I’ve got an incoming craft!” He says.

“Shields up,” Shiro orders, “and pull it up on screen.”

Coran does so, and the image gives them all pause.

“That, that can’t be! It’s an Altean pod! A really old one!” Coran exclaims.

“What’s it doing out here?” Lance asks.

“Let’s find out.” Shiro says. “Attention Altean pod, identify yourself.”

The screen changes and…

“Shiro! It’s Keith.”

“Keith,” Shiro stutters. “I- h- are you okay?”

“Where have you been?” Pidge demands.

“And how did you get your hands on that pod?” Coran gapes.

They haven’t heard from Keith in two weeks. Shiro had been getting really worried, especially when Kolivan had informed him he didn’t know where Keith was either.

And, is it Shiro, or does Keith seem to have _significantly_ more muscle tone than he did a couple weeks ago?

“Does he look bigger to you guys? He’s bigger, right? No?” Lance asks hesitantly.

Okay, it’s not just Shiro. _Damn_.

“Where’s Lotor?” Keith barks.

“He’s in the quintessence field.” Hunk says, and Keith’s eyes go wide.

“ _Shit_.” He hisses fervently. “I’m coming in. Meet us in the pod bay.”

“Us?” Shiro asks dazedly, but Keith cuts the connection.

They all look at each other, then rush down to the pod bay. Keith’s pod lands a moment later, and the boy steps out.

But god, he can’t really be called a boy anymore.

He’s grown significantly since Shiro last saw him. He’s filled out, his suit straining against muscle, and shoulders broad and straight. His hair is a little longer, a little messier, and his face has lost any softness, now all sharp angles and hard planes.

He’s the most beautiful thing Shiro has ever seen in his life.

“Keith, it’s so good to see you,” Shiro says dumbly. He’s rooted to the spot when he should be rushing to Keith and kissing the life out of him, but he’s having a bit of a brain malfunction. A good one, for once.

Lance approaches instead, as Keith moves forward as well.

“Hold on, how do we know you’re the real Keith and not his bigger, cooler, grizzled older brother?”

“I don’t have time for this, Lance.” Keith snaps and pushes past the other boy.

Lance looks at his friend for a moment, then throws out his arms. “Hey, everybody, Keith’s back!”

Keith marches straight up to Shiro and stops inches in front of him. “First of all,” He says sharply, then yanks Shiro down for a mind-blowing kiss that he can’t help but melt into.

“I missed you so goddamn much.” Keith murmurs, then pulls back, crossing his arms. “Second, we need to stop Lotor. He’s been lying to all of us.”

“L-lying about what?” Shiro stutters.

“ _Everything_.” A new voice says, and they all turn and stare in shock at the other people who have climbed out of the pod.

The girl who had spoken is about Keith’s age, with long blond hair and _triangular markings on her face_.

“You, you’re Altean,” Coran says weakly.

‘And who’s the Glara?” Lance asks. The tall female Galra next to the Altean has dark purple stripes on her face and is looking at them all with an appraising expression, gold and purple eyes glancing at each of them in turn before zeroing in on Shiro. He swallows nervously.

“Is that a wolf?” Hunk asks, and Shiro glances at the huge gray-blue creature who is looking at him as well, tail wagging slowly.

“Where did you come from!?” Coran shouts.

Keith sighs. “I promise I’ll explain everything once we get to Lotor.”

“We can’t get to him,” Pidge says, “He just entered the quintessence field with Allura.”

“We traveled through realities before, can’t we fly in there and attack?” Keith asks.

“She said Allura is with him, we can’t risk hurting her.” Lance reminds him.

“Shit,” Keith mutters, crossing his arms.

“Why are we even attacking?” Hunk asks.

Shiro steps forward. “Look, Keith- e- _everyone_ ,” he hastily corrects, “calm down. When they return, we’ll get this all sorted out.”

Keith grimaces. “Fine.” He mutters.

Shiro smiles. “Lance is right, you _have_ changed.” He says fondly, and that earns him a smile.

“Time is different where I’ve been.” He says softly.

“Shiro?” The Galra woman says, stepping forward. “I am Krolia. Keith has told me all about you,” She holds out her forearm, which Shiro grasps. “Thank you, for looking out for him all this time.”

She releases him, and Keith speaks up. “Krolia is with the Blade of Marmora. Also… she’s my mother.” He says quietly.

Shiro’s eyes go wide as he looks up at the woman again. Keith’s _mother_? He doesn’t really know how to handle this. “It’s an honor to meet you,” he starts, then Lance cuts in.

“ _What?_ Okay, this is _nuts._ You come back with your Galra mom, a wolf, and an Altean? What the hell, Keith? Buddy, my man, my dude, what happened to you?”

“Yes, I’m still waiting to hear the story of how you found this Altean.” Coran interjects.

Hunk raises a hand. “And why we’re supposed to be attacking Lotor.”

Keith huffs and turns towards the girl. “This is Romelle, and I think she should tell her own story.”

The story Romelle tells spells out everything quite clearly. Lotor has been lying to them, has betrayed them without them even knowing. He’s killed hundreds – maybe _thousands_ – of Alteans in his pursuit of the quintessence field, and nothing could ever make that _okay._

“That’s… horrifying.” Coran says at length.

“All this time…” Pidge whispers.

“I can’t believe he fooled us.” Lance says numbly.

“He’s a monster.” Keith growls.

Just then the castle alerts them that the Sincline ship has returned from the quintessence field and is on its way to the hangar.

“What are you waiting for? Open fire!” Romelle insists.

“No! Princess Allura is with him!” Lance objects.

“We’re going to let him back onboard?” Hunk asks frantically.

Coran frowns, hunching his shoulders. “We must. As long as the princess is with him, we cannot risk any sort of attack.”

Shiro’s jaw tenses. “Coran and Lance are right, we can’t do anything until the princess is safe. Once Allura is secure, we will take Lotor down.”

“Thank fuck,” Keith mutters.

Keith and Krolia move to stand by the door so as to remain hidden from Lotor when he enters, which he does a few minutes later with Allura. She was smiling and laughing about something, but the smile drops off her face when she sees the looks on all of theirs.

“What’s going on?” She asks, then Krolia and Keith fall in behind them to prevent Lotor from bolting back out the door.

Lance in turn activates his bayard and aims it at Lotor. “Allura, step away from Lotor.”

The princess frowns and spreads her arms out, stepping in front of the man. “I will do no such thing. Tell me what’s happening here.”

Romelle steps forwards then, and Lotor’s face drops. “Lotor is a _monster_ and has been harvesting Altean quintessence for generations!”

“An Altean,” Allura says in shock. Then she turns to look at Lotor.

“You killed my brother, and thousands of others.” Romelle spits.

“Lotor has been lying to us the whole time. He’s a murderer, just like his father.” Pidge grits out.

“You know nothing about what you speak,” Lotor insists.

Allura’s eyes are wide and confused. “What are they talking about?”

Lotor makes an impassioned plea, but it falls flat in the face of what Romelle has told them. What Keith and Krolia had seen for themselves. Lotor can’t come back from this, even if Allura does have feelings for him.

Shiro sees Lotor reach for the princess’s hand, but he’s also seen Allura slowly but steadily realizing the truth. Had seen her look at Romelle’s distraught face. Had seen her own crumple in horror and guilt and loss.

The moment he touches her, she snaps and flings him over her shoulder, where he lands harshly and is still.

Before any of them can do anything further, the castle alerts them that the hangar is being breached by Lotor’s possibly-not-so-former generals who are attempting to take the Sincline ships.

Shiro goes to open his mouth to tell the others what to do, but an intense spike of pain shoots through his head, causing him to clamp his mouth shut so he doesn’t scream in agony. He clutches his head in both hands, falling to his knees hard, but he doesn’t even feel it over the throbbing in his skull.

“Shiro?” He hears Keith call, but he can’t answer.

 _“Give in.”_ He hears echoing in his head. “ _You cannot resist.”_

Haggar. She, somehow she has him. How? When?

He looks around at the others, who are staring at him in confusion and fear. He tries to speak – to _warn_ them – but he can’t think past the stinging pain.

“ _You are mine now_. _Give in!”_

His mind snaps, the programming he was given upon creation activating. He knows his purpose. His true reason for being. The pain fades. He doesn’t fight anymore.

Faintly, he registers that something deep inside of him is screaming.

~*~

Keith hisses when Shiro drops to the floor. It’s happening. Whatever the clone’s purpose is, now seems to be the time. But, dammit, _he can’t stay_. He has to help the others. The clone seems incapacitated for the moment, so he listens to Lance and trusts them to take care of Shiro while he and the others go down to stop the ships from being stolen. That will have to be enough for now, until he can come back and explain, finally, what’s been going on.

They all have to dive aside when one of the ships starts firing and Keith wedges himself awkwardly in a corner. So he can’t move as fast as he needs to when Allura’s voice comes over the comm.

“Shiro’s gone mad! He’s escaping with Lotor! Stop him before he leaves the ship!”

“Well that was quick,” Keith mutters, trying to pull himself out from under the rubble.

He sees Pidge get up and aim her bayard at Shiro, but he can see her arms shaking. She was never going to be able to fire at him. He wonders if Haggar knew that. Pidge curses as Shiro takes off in a pod, then comes over to help dig Keith out.

“I’m sorry,” She says as she pulls him up. “I’m sorry, Keith, but I couldn’t…”

“It’s okay.” He tells her, then straightens. He glances over to make sure his mom and the wolf are okay, then looks to the empty bay.

“What do we do?” Pidge asks frantically.

“We have to stay focused. Lance, Hunk, can you still pilot your lions?”

“Yeah, I’ll manage.” Hunk grumbles.

“We’ve got this.” Lance says, deadly serious.

“Then let’s go. If we’re going to fight Lotor’s ships, we’ll need Voltron.”

“Shiro’s gone! Who’s going to pilot the Black Lion?” Pidge asks.

Keith turns and walks toward the door. “I will.” He growls.

~*~

Changing back into his paladin armor is a weird feeling. He hasn’t worn it in so long, if feels strange on his frame. But at least the suits are designed to fit the wearer, so it fits him just fine. It’s a relief to be out of his too small Blade suit.

Black lets him in easily, and lights up under his touch almost eagerly, letting out a roar of satisfaction, a thrum in his mind that screams _welcome back_ floods through him.

“Sorry I’ve been gone so long.” He murmurs. “But I’m going to need you for this.”

She’s ready. He can feel it.

They catch up with the ships easily. Keith ignores the Sincline ships and heads straight for the tiny pod that contains Clone Shiro.

“Shiro, it’s Keith! Shiro, it’s gonna be okay. We just have to-”

He hears the connection cut out. “Oh dammit.” Keith hisses.

He has to turn back when the others call out for him. He stops one from obliterating Pidge, then flies into the group of them.

“Guys, we’re no match for them in our lions. Form Voltron!”

Once the robot is completed, they are a _much_ better match against the ships… in that they can safely avoid the lasers more easily. They still can’t put a scratch on them, though, dammit all. Keith watches Shiro’s pod continue to fly away but gets distracted by the people shooting at them.

Coran wants to help but god would that be a bad idea. They are totally pinned though and need _something_ to help them out…

“Coran! Fire just below our position!” Keith barks.

“What!?”

“Destroy the rock we’re pinned against! Now!”

It frees them to maneuver again, and now, Keith is _pissed_.

“Lance, Pidge, I need you to get us some cover!”

The pair of arms destroy several rocks around them, making copious amounts of debris and giving the Sincline ships a harder time with aiming. And maneuvering, allowing them to take off after Shiro again.

“Who’s got eyes on Shiro?” He snaps, then they get hit from behind. But it’s not hit so much as now the ships seem to have energy ropes what the fuck, when did these things get a power boost??

They slam Voltron into a rock which leaves them immobile and knocks out one of Keith’s wing thrusters.

“Fuck,” he hisses, then they all gape when a wormhole opens for the enemy ships.

“Haggar. It has to be Haggar. She must have gained the ability. But how?” Allura says.

Keith grits his teeth. “We can’t worry about that now. We have to make sure we get Shiro back.”

“But Shiro’s not _Shiro_ anymore.” Hunk says cautiously.

Keith growls. Yes, he knows this, way more than they do. “I _know_. But something is wrong with him. The Galra are behind it, you know they are.  You all know he would never give up on us. We can’t give up on him.”

That seems to be the motivation they need to get Voltron moving, and they book it towards the wormhole. But with Keith’s thruster out, they’re too slow and too heavy, and the wormhole starts to close. No. _No_.

“We’re not going to make it!”

“We’re too heavy!”

Keith curses loudly. “Disband!”

The others protest, but Keith cuts them off. “The energy from disconnecting might create enough thrust to propel me through the wormhole.”

“You’ll be the only one on the other side!” Allura cries.

_“Do it!”_

They disconnect their lions and Keith is pushed forwards, reaching the wormhole just in the nick of time.

Keith emerges in the middle of a giant Galra fleet.

“Well fuck,” he deadpans, but then catches sight of the pod on his monitor and zooms towards it.  He somehow weaves through loads of laser blasts in his forward push, which is a miracle, but Keith will take it. One of the Sincline ships breaks off and pursues him, causing him to have to pull of some crazy maneuvers to keep away from those lasers. But he manages to disable it and head towards the lead ship.

He shoves Black’s head through the hull and locates Shiro in the hangar before he’s being fired on again and is forced to break away. He doges for a while before he spots the pod leaving again. He knows it’s a bid to lure him away, but he follows anyway. Shiro – any Shiro – is more important to him than anything. Besides, he could never get to Lotor all by himself.

So he takes off after the pod. “Shiro! Shiro come in! I know you’re there! I know what’s wrong, I know what’s happening to you, but it’s going to be okay. We can fix this. Let me help you!”

No response. In the corner of the screen he sees the Sincline ship prepare to fire, but then break off and head back to the fleet. He grits his teeth and follows the pod. To whatever end.

~*~

He tracks Shiro to a large asteroid above a desolate planet. He spots the pod and footsteps in the sand leading towards a cave. He lands Black next to it.

He walks out slowly. One way or another, this is not going to be a pleasant reunion. He follows Shiro’s footsteps down into the cave. Stalagmites and stalactites cover the floor and ceiling. Water drips steadily into a nearby pool of blackish water.

Keith keeps walking. He doesn’t know for how long. It could have been minutes or hours. The old familiar black pit in his stomach is making a reappearance, and it keeps him from thinking clearly.

The ground keeps sloping downwards into inky darkness, but there are worse places he would go for Shiro.

Eventually he notices a soft purple light ahead, and comes across a Galra elevator, which takes him even deeper into the heart of the asteroid. The elevator moves fast, but even so it takes a long time to reach the bottom.

He emerges in a familiar looking room. It’s the one from that one flash of the future he’d received two years ago, when he and his mother had first traversed the quantum abyss. Now it all made sense, but he still doesn’t know how this ends.

He walks down the long row of cylinders that reminds him eerily of the Altean harvesting facility. It’s this thought that makes him reach out and touch the one in front of him, right at the end of the platform.

A light turns on in the tank and Keith’s breath hitches.

It’s Shiro.

But it’s _not_ Shiro. This one has completely black hair, no scars and two arms. Another clone. Slowly, one by one, the other tanks light up, all filled with more clones of the man he loves.

How many did Haggar make? How many did she try to use, before this one survived? How many “Shiros” died alone, thinking they’d failed the team? Failed Keith? It makes him sick to imagine.

“Hello, Keith.” He hears behind him.

Keith turns to see the clone he knows, standing stiffly, no emotion showing on his face, except for the madness shining in his eyes. Just like in Keith’s vision.

“Shiro,” Keith says quietly as the man approaches him slowly. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Yes, I know.” Shiro replies in a monotone. Keith swallows.

“We just have to get back to the castle-” Keith starts again.

“We are not _going anywhere!”_ Shiro roars and springs at him, arm activated. Keith pulls up his shield in the nick of time, then dives to the side as Shiro’s fist slams into the control panel for the clone tanks, causing them to go dark again.

Keith jumps to his feet and pulls out his blade, activating it and blocking swing after swing as Shiro strikes at him over and over.

Eventually Shiro lands a hit and Keith goes flying over the side of the platform. He uses his jetpack to slow his fall and manages to land on a platform below. He glances up to see Shiro right behind and rolls out of the way as Shiro slams down right where he’d been a second ago.

He pulls out his blade again, panting raggedly as Shiro emerges from the smoke.

He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to fight the man he loves, not even the copy. But Shiro doesn’t give him any choice.

He activates his blade, and Shiro produces one of his own, made of the same purple energy that makes his hand light up. Could _his_ Shiro do that too? Or is it just an upgrade for Haggar’s sleeper agent?

He doesn’t ponder long, as Shiro lunges for him again.

Their blades cross again and again, and Shiro never seems to slow. In fact, he seems to grow more vicious the longer they collide. All Keith can really do is dodge and parry the attacks as they come. He refuses to even try to hurt Shiro.

Though he will try to punch some sense into him.

Shiro sees the hit coming and deflects it easily, just as he always had in their sparring. Unlike their sparring though, he counters with a harsh jab of his own, catching Keith square in the underside of his jaw and knocking his helmet clean off.

Keith staggers back from the blow, knowing there’s going to be a huge bruise there tomorrow. If he lives.

So he goes back to dodging, trying to leap down to another platform, but Shiro catches him around the waist in midair, knocking them both off course.

Shiro catches a cable on his way down and lands with a roll. Keith grabs the other cable and uses the momentum from the swing to kick Shiro hard in the chest, knocking the older man back. He lands and runs towards Shiro, bringing his blade down with a snarl.

His teeth feel wrong in his mouth and his eyesight seems sharper in the gloom, but he pays it no mind, snarling at Shiro where he’s pinned to the railing.

The clone smirks. “ _That’s_ the Keith I remember.”

Somehow, that reminder that this Shiro knows him, _loves him_ , makes him hesitate, just for a second, but it’s long enough for Shiro to disarm him.

Keith dodges a swing and dives for his blade, scooping it up and dodging another blow, this one managing to shave off a few of Keith’s hairs.

He lifts his blade to block another blow that sends him crashing back into a shelf of clones, knocking the breath out of him. He opens his eyes to see the downwards swing coming and rolls to the side just as it falls, slicing through the metal and making the shelf fall between them.

Keith takes this moment to catch his breath, looking up at the man with wide eyes.

“Shiro,” he pants, “I know you’re in there. You made a promise once: you told me you’d _never_ give up on me,”

“And I should have abandoned you just like your parents did!” Shiro snarls. “They saw that you were broken, _worthless_. I should have seen it too.”

Keith narrows his eyes. “I’m not leaving here without you.” he swears.

The clone laughs darkly. “Actually, neither of us is leaving.”

Suddenly the lights go red, and the facility begins issuing warnings. The reactor is overheating.

So that’s what the clone had been doing before he arrived.

Then Shiro cries out, catching Keith’s attention again as he falls to his knees.

“Shiro!” he shouts. He watches in horror as the metal of his arm corrupts, working its way up even to his shoulder and glowing with veins of sickening violet. The fingers are now claws, and as Keith watches, a buildup of energy starts to burn through the floor, coming out in a solid beam of heat and devastation.

Shiro raises his arm and Keith jumps to the side to avoid getting incinerated by the weapon. Then Shiro actually _aims it at him_ and he has to leap to a lower platform to avoid the beam. When he lands, he looks up to see Shiro aiming the beam at him again, and he has to dodge again.

He runs to the end of the platform, but the beam from Shiro’s arm severs the connection to the asteroid and Keith falls.

He twists his body enough to land on a round platform, hanging right above a several hundred mile drop to the glowing planet below.

He pulls himself up and collapses onto it, and just lies there for a moment, exhaustion creeping into every corner of his body, but he forces himself to move, to get closer to his blade, dropped when he fell. Shiro lands right in front of him.

He activates his own blade again and slashes down.

Keith grabs his knife just in time, stopping the glowing blade inches away from his face. It’s taking everything he has just to keep it where it is.

“Shiro, _please_ ,” He chokes out. His whole body is shaking. He’s tired and so, so scared for the man above him. “I know you’re a clone, but I don’t care. I still… love you…!”

The clone pauses, eyes going wide for a split second, before he pushes down on the blade again. “Just let go, Keith,” he says almost gently. “You don’t have to fight anymore. By now, the team’s already gone.”

Keith’s heart stops.

“I saw to it myself,” Shiro snarls, and presses down harder, the blade an inch away from Keith’s flesh. It sears into his skin in a burning line and Keith feels like the rest of him is burning too.

No. _No. NO!_

Keith howls and unsheathes his bayard, swinging it up and slicing clean through Shiro’s metal arm.

The clone yells and staggers back. Keith stands shakily and looks down at the clone as he collapses to his knees. It pains him to see the man like this. Hurts more than he could have ever imagined.

The clone looks around frantically for a moment, before his eyes clear suddenly, and he looks up at Keith in horror.

“Keith,” he whispers brokenly.

Before Keith can move to comfort him, the platform they’re on rocks, as the cables holding it snap, blown apart by the reactor exploding.

The disk tilts and Keith lunges for Shiro without thinking, grabbing his remaining wrist and sinking his blade into the metal as the disk tips completely, causing them to dangle over nothingness.

Keith glances up at the blade imbedded in the metal, then down at Shiro, who seems to have fallen unconscious. Keith grits his teeth and starts to pull them up, but their combined weight makes the blade skid down the metal until they’re right on the edge, swinging wildly. Keith groans, and looks down at Shiro again. He’ll never be able to pull them both up.

For a split second, he considers dropping him. It’s only a clone. The real one is still out there. But he squashes that thought down immediately.

No. Never. He’d promised Shiro, _this Shiro_. As many times as it takes. And he will keep that promise.

His thoughts drift back to his and real Shiro’s first meeting. He’d been such an ass, but Shiro had never stopped trying to get close to him. He remembers that smile. That infuriating, perfect, beautiful smile. God, he misses that.

The last cable breaks, and the two of them are falling.

Keith grips Shiro’s wrist tighter. He doesn’t look at their impending death, he keeps his gaze firmly on Shiro’s face.

He remembers the day Shiro had first made him that promise. He knows Shiro didn’t think much of the event himself, as it was just one fight in a long line of fights Keith had had, but it was significant to Keith. He closes his eyes as he tries to remember.

_James. It had been James he’d had the fight with, of course. He’s sitting outside Professor Montgomery’s office as she yells about him to Shiro._

_“The only reason this kid is still here is because you’re vouching for him.” He hears her say angrily. “You need to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.”_

_“Understood. I’ll handle it.” Shiro says quietly. He exits the room and stands aside as James enters for his own dressing down. Keith can feel Shiro’s eyes on him, watching with that same concerned expression as always._

_“Hey,” he says gently._

_Keith grits his teeth. “Look, I know I messed up. You should just let them send me back to the home already.”_

_“Never.” Shiro vows. “Keith, you can do this. I will_ never _give up on you. But more importantly, you can’t give up on yourself.”_

He’d looked up at Shiro with wide eyes. And that right there was the moment he began to trust Takashi Shirogane. The one person who would stay with him through anything. How could Keith possibly do any different?

His eyes open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reaching as I sink down into light (to light)  
> Reaching as I sink down into light (to light)  
> This is how we'll dance when  
> When they try to take us down  
> This is how we'll sing (oh)  
> This is how we'll stand when  
> When they burn our houses down  
> This is what we’ll be oh glory  
> \- Let the Flames Begin, Paramore
> 
> Re-writing fight scenes from a visual is hard, man. I hope I managed to do this amazing episode some justice. Next chapter is Real Shiro (and Keith being extremely distraught) Lotor's Dark Voltron, and a long awaited return.


	35. Something Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro, Lotor, Shiro and tons of feels. In that exact order except for the feels, which are everywhere.

_“Keith.”_ A voice whispers in the void. “ _Keith.”_

Keith’s eyes open. He’s in the middle of a thousand galaxies, full of bright purple light. He’s standing on solid ground but when he looks down, it just seems to be more galaxies. It’s a beautiful place, and it scares the hell out of him. Wasn’t he just falling to his death?

“Keith,” The voice insists again, and this time, Keith recognizes it. “Keith.”

“Where are you, Shiro?” He calls, looking around, but he doesn’t see the man anywhere. “Show yourself!” He yells desperately. He doesn’t want to be alone in this place.

“I know this must be confusing for you,” Shiro says gently, but Keith still can’t _see him_.

“What is this place?” He asks, activating his bayard to feel a little safer. “Where are we? We, we were falling, and that’s the last thing I remember. And, the others, you said they were…”

Keith pauses as light begins to coalesce in front of him, several feet away.

A body forms, and in an instant, Shiro is standing before him.

 _His Shiro_. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he _does_.

 “I’m not here to harm you,” Shiro says gently.

“I know that.” Keith whispers.

“Everyone is fine,” Shiro continues. “just let me explain.”

“Oh you’d better.” Keith mutters, and the corner of Shiro’s lips quirk up before he frowns, brow pinched in worry.

“The thing that attacked you… wasn’t me.”

“I already knew that, Shiro.” He says, and Shiro looks stunned.

“You did?”

Keith laughs humorlessly. “You honestly think I would mistake anyone else for you?”

Shiro shakes his head, smiling fondly, but grows serious again. “Since my fight with Zarkon, I’ve been here.”

“Where is here, exactly? How can I find you?” Keith asks eagerly.

“You can’t.” Shiro says, expression growing pained. “At first, I didn’t know where I was, or, how much time had passed. My physical form was gone. I existed on another realm.” Shiro pauses. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, then he swallows. “I… I died, Keith.”

Keith’s heart stops. Or maybe shatters. He can’t tell over the cold numbness spreading through his body.

“No,” He whispers. “No, no, you, you can’t be dead. You can’t, you _can’t_ , you _promised me!”_ Keith chokes.

Shiro looks like he’s been stabbed. “I know, and I’m so sorry. So, so sorry, Keith. There was nothing I could do but watch you fall apart. I couldn’t communicate with anyone. The Black Lion, she preserved my consciousness, my soul, if you will, inside her.”

“This, this is the Black Lion’s mind?” He asks shakily.

“Yes.” Shiro says quietly. “I tried to warn the others of the imposter on Olkarion, but our connection was not strong enough-” Suddenly Shiro becomes transparent, before vanishing entirely.

“No!” Keith screams. “Shiro! _Shiro!”_

He wakes with a shout, sitting up quickly and looking around. He’s inside the Black Lion.

“You saved us.” He whispers. But, was it Black that had saved them, or, had it been Shiro?

At the thought of a “them” Keith turns to see the clone lying there, breathing shallowly. Cutting off his arm seemed to have saved him from Haggar’s control, but it also seemed to drain a lot of his lifeforce. Keith grimaces and pushes himself shakily to his feet, staggering over to Black’s seat and sitting down with a grimace. Wow, he’s going to feel all of that in the morning.

“Dammit, Shiro.” He hisses. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that on me and then _vanish_.” He grits his teeth and steers Black towards the castle, knuckles going white under his gloves on the controls. It will take him forever, but he has to get there. He has to save them. Save Shiro. Save _both_ Shiros, if he can.

He doesn’t care what the fuck his boyfriend says, Takashi Shirogane is not dying unless _he_ says so, dammit.

He senses the Sincline ships on their way to the castle, so he radios them to give a warning.

“Hailing the Castle of Lions! This is Keith!”

A feed pops up, and he can see Allura and Lance standing on a darkened bridge.

“Keith!” Lance beams. “You’re okay!”

“Where have you been? Did you get Shiro?” Allura asks. Keith grimaces. He supposes it’s time.

“I got him, but it’s not the Shiro we know. The Shiro that took Lotor was a clone. And has been since we ‘got him back’ from the Galra the second time.”

Lance stares at him for a long moment, eyes widening with dawning realization. “Oh shit, that, that’s what you meant. When you left the castle, you told me that wasn’t Shiro. You knew.”

“I did.” Keith confirms. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I thought… I figured any Shiro leading was better than me leading. I didn’t realize he was capable of flipping on his programming so quickly.”

“You said you have him? Alive?”  Allura asks.

“Yes.” Keith confirms. “Since I care about him as well as the Original.”

“Wait, where is the original? Is he still lost in the ether?” Lance questions.

Keith grimaces. “It’s complicated. I do know where he is – just found out in fact – but right now we have a bigger problem. I just picked up the Sincline ships on my scanners. It looks like Lotor’s headed back to your position. Right where you are.”

“He needs to get back into the quintessence field.” Allura murmurs.

“I’m on my way to you now but without a wormhole its gonna take me a while. You’ll have to hold off Lotor without me.”

“We’ll do what we can.” Lance says, and they end the call. Keith grits his teeth and closes his eyes.

“Shiro, if you’re here I could use your help. I need to get to the team before Lotor.”

There is no response, but the lion does pick up speed, so he’ll take what he can get.

~*~

He listens to all of it. He hears the team shouting. Crying out. Hears that Lotor has somehow created a Dark Voltron – he totally called it – and that the castle is barely working. They’re getting torn to shreds. His friends, his family, are getting hurt, and he can’t _be there_.

“Shiro, I have to get to the paladins.” He says raggedly. “I need your help!”

No answer. Keith grits his teeth. “Shiro… Shiro…!” He grips the controls tighter.

_“Takashi!”_

Suddenly everything stills, and he opens his eyes, back in the endless galaxies. A hand settles gently on his shoulder, and he turns his head to see Shiro standing next to him, smiling gently.

“Keith,” Shiro releases Keith’s shoulder and his expression slips into something more serious. “You can get to them. But you must see them first.” Shiro says.

“But how?” Keith begs.

Shiro looks out and smiles again. “See through the lion’s eyes. Patience yields focus.” Keith looks out into the expanse as well.

A bright light is building, coming forward to swallow them both. Keith feels Shiro’s fingers entwine with his own, and he squeezes back tightly as the light engulfs them.

A shockwave goes through the cockpit, and suddenly, it’s like Keith is right there, watching a horrible robotic monster attack his friends.

“I see them,” He murmurs, then grimaces, fighting to push the controls forwards, but it’s hard, harder than usual. He strains, crying out in frustration. Come _on_.

Purple light washes over his fingers on the controls, and suddenly, he knows Shiro is there, pushing with him, steering him in the right direction, like always.

The Black Lion’s wings extend, and suddenly, he’s there with them, passing through Lotor’s monstrosity. He glides to a stop next to his friends, and Lance gasps.

“Keith! How did you get here so fast?”

Keith smiles and looks down at his fingers, watching the purple glow fade away. “I had some help.” He murmurs, then looks up, expression hardening.  “Now hurry, we don’t have much time. On me, form Voltron!”

Lotor’s monster, versus Alfor’s legacy. Time to see who wins.  Before that though, he sends his speeder to the castle, with Clone Shiro inside.

“Keep him safe.” He tells his mother.

“I promise.” She says. “And please be careful, firecracker.”

“I’ll be fine.” He assures.

Ahem.

Keith’s not gonna lie, it’s a goddamn _nightmare_.

Lotor’s robot is faster than them. They work to keep it in one place at first, which works for all of five seconds, before Lotor decides ripping random rifts in the fabric of reality is a _fantastic idea thanks for letting him do that Allura_.

“We have to go in after him,” Keith groans. “Getting power from the quintessence is the only way we can match his strength.”

Allura is reluctant, but she understands just how desperate they are, so she guides them in.

And boy is that a power rush. They discover Voltron has powers they’d never imagined. They’re beating Lotor to a _pulp_. It’s fantastic, and they’re going to rip him to shreds.

They have all the power in the universe. They can afford to play the long game.

“We have to get out of here!” Allura shouts suddenly.

“What are you talking about?” He asks incredulously. They’re winning!

“This is exactly what happened to Zarkon! Exposure to all this quintessence turned him into a monster!”

As if to prove her point, Lotor cackles maniacally. “ _Poor Allura_ ,” He taunts, “All the power in the universe at your fingertips and you still fear using it!”

Fuck, maybe she has a point.

They still have to incapacitate the fucker though, so Allura opens up a cool new chest beam and powers Lotor into submission.

Their systems are starting to overload though, which is mildly unfortunate.

“Let’s grab Lotor and get out of here.” Keith pants.

“No, we can’t! We have to leave now!” Pidge says urgently.

“We must try.” Allura grits out.

“Pidge is right. We stay here much longer, and Voltron is done for.” Hunk says grimly.

“But we can’t just leave him!” Allura protests.

Keith sighs and opens up a channel to her. “Lotor’s made his choice. Let’s get out of here, Allura.”

She grits her teeth but moves when they do. They exit the quintessence field in the nick of time.

“If we’d stayed in the quintessence field, we would have kept fighting until we destroyed ourselves.” She murmurs. “Just like Lotor.”

“What did you do in there?” Keith asks.

“I transferred the excess power from Voltron. It’s a technique I learned on Oriande. Thanks to Lotor.”

Keith feels like he missed a _lot_ because he understood about half of that, but he can ask later, when Allura doesn’t look like she’s about to cry.

“Oh you’re back!” Coran exclaims, and then they realize they still have a very large problem. If they don’t close the rifts Lotor made in about fifteen minutes, all fabrics of all realities are going to unravel and destroy everything.

The only thing that could work is the teludav, which means…

Destroying the Castle of Lions. A pang goes through Keith at the thought. This place has been good to all of them. But, he thinks, tightening his grip on the controls, as long as they’re together, as long as he has _Shiro_ , he’ll be home.

Keith darts around his and Shiro’s room, packing up everything of theirs and slinging the bags over his shoulders. Krolia has Clone Shiro and the wolf all tucked away inside Black already, so he races down to see if Coran needs help.

They’re ready to leave in ten dobashes.

They fly away and can’t even turn to watch the castle as it’s destroyed. The shockwave hits them, and Keith closes his eyes. He will miss it. This is the second home he’s had to walk away from in a week. Hard to believe that only a couple days ago, he woke up with his mom and the wolf in their cave on the space whale.

So much has changed since then.

Hunk goes back to pick up the last remnant of the castle – a little diamond. Then the others ask what to do now.

“We need to find someplace to land and see if there’s a way we can help Shiro.”

No one argues with him. They land on a small planetoid and Keith carefully pulls the clone out of the healing pod as he explains what happened to Shiro. When he says that Shiro is technically dead, he chokes, and everyone instantly looks devastated.

Keith lays the clone down on the ground and kneels next to him.

“This body’s barely living.” He says, a fresh wave of regret hitting him. He can’t save the clone. He realizes that now. But… “But Shiro’s spirit is alive. It’s inside the Black Lion. I’ve heard him talking to me.”

Lance suddenly looks stricken. “He, he tried to tell me, but, I-I didn’t realize.” The Red Paladin collapses to his knees, tears streaming down his face. “I’m _so sorry_ , Shiro, I didn’t know, I couldn’t…”

Allura stands and places a hand on Lance’s shoulder, smiling at him, then she gives Keith that same smile and walks over to Black.

She places her hands on the lion’s muzzle and they all watch as streaks of purple energy race along the lion’s body, rushing to Allura’s hands. Her body begins to glow, and she takes her hands away, turning to face them all with solid blue eyes.

She walks back over slowly and kneels at Shiro’s head, placing her hands on either side of his face. Slowly, Shiro begins to glow as well, bangs lengthening, and hair fading to pure white.

Allura stops glowing and takes her hands away. Keith holds his breath as Shiro glows for another moment. And then his eyes fly open, also glowing, before they fade back into that familiar storm cloud gray that he loves so much.

Shiro gasps and sits up, coughing roughly, then groans and falls into Keith’s chest. Keith clutches him close, heartbeat racing in his ears.

He’s home. Keith finally has him home.

Tears gather in the corners of his eyes, and he ignores everything else. The lions roaring, the others cheering. He can’t take his eyes off the man in his arms.

Shiro blinks his eyes open slowly and glances up at Keith. “You found me,” He whispers.

“Always.” Keith whispers back, then leans down and kisses Shiro breathless.

There are louder cheers, and one wolf-whistle (thank you, Lance) but again, Keith ignores it, cherishing the feel of Shiro’s lips pressed to his own after so long. Tears slip freely down his cheeks, but god, he doesn’t care. Not when he has this.

Shiro’s hand reaches up to cup his cheek gently, and Keith sobs.

 _I finally found you_.

Keith pulls away after several long moments, just gazing into Shiro’s eyes. Shiro stares back, smiling gently, but Keith can see his eyelids drooping. So he smiles and smooths his bangs back, like Shiro does for him all the time.

“We’re glad you’re back, Takashi.” He murmurs.

“Rest,” Allura adds gently.

Shiro keeps smiling up at them, right up until he falls asleep in Keith’s arms.

Keith lets out a shaky breath and carefully lowers Shiro to the ground.

“So what are we going to do? The castle is destroyed.” Hunk says after a moment.

“There’s only one place that has the plans necessary to build a replacement for the Castle of Lions.” Pidge says, looking up and smiling. “Coran gave them to my dad.”

Keith pushes himself to his feet and turns to look at the sunset. “We’re going home.” He says quietly. He turns to look at them all again. “Let’s get some sleep and we’ll all plan things out tomorrow.”

Lance grins at him, still wiping tears out of his eyes. “You just wanna go cuddle with your boyfriend.”

“Yes.” Keith says, shrugging. “That is exactly what I want to do. I am exhausted, haven’t slept in almost thirty-six hours, and am coming off a really intense battle with a megalomaniac that was proceeded by my boyfriend’s clone beating the shit out of me and giving me this,” he gestures to his face, where the burn scar still stings. “I am going to be a walking bruise tomorrow, so yes, all I want to do right now is curl up around my newly resurrected boyfriend and remind myself that he’s actually here and safe again.”

All of them gape at him in shock. Krolia is the first to recover, stepping around everyone and placing her hands – carefully – on his shoulders. It still hurts a bit.

“Rest, kit. Everyone here can do without you and Shiro for the time being.”

“Indeed.” Allura adds, worry filling her eyes. “Please, take as much time as you need.”

“Do you need someone to help carry him in?” Lance asks, glancing down at Shiro.

“I have him.” Krolia says, and easily hefts Shiro up into her arms, careful not to jostle him.

“Your mom is awesome.” Lance tells Keith.

“I know.”  Keith hugs Lance tightly, then, realizing he hasn’t gotten the chance since he came back.

“See?” Lance says, wrapping his own arms around Keith. “I told you we would get him back.”

“You are also the one who told me that he couldn’t be dead because there wasn’t a body,” Keith mutters, but pulls back to smile at the Red Paladin. “But, thank you. For everything.”

“Oh, don’t think I’m gonna stop going all mother hen on you just because you have Shiro back!” Lance chides. “Or even your actual mom! Once you’re my friend, you have to deal with my mother henning for life!”

“It’s true.” Hunk says, nodding sagely.

“I suppose I’ll have to make due.” He says and pulls out of Lance’s grip. Before he can turn to follow his mother into the Black Lion, Romelle calls out to him.

“Keith!” He turns again, and she crashes into him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He hugs her back as everyone gapes in the background. He ignores them for now.

“Yeah?”

 _“Thank you_ ,” She says emphatically. “Thank you for everything.”

“I’m glad we could help.” He says.

“And I’m glad you got your Shiro back.” She says, pulling away and smiling up at him. “I cannot wait to meet him properly.”

“Soon.” He promises, then waves to everyone and heads inside Black.

He finds his mother has set Shiro up on one of the emergency cots and has stripped him of all his armor, leaving him in the black body suit.

“Thanks. I got it from here.” He tells her.

She nods, then ducks down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m so happy for you, Keith.” She murmurs.

Keith smiles and hugs her too. “Thanks, Mom.” He whispers, and Krolia stiffens. It’s the first time he’s ever actually called her mom.

“I, you’re welcome kit.” She stammers, but purrs quietly before releasing him. “Go. Be with your mate.” She tells him, and then swiftly exits the lion.

Keith sighs and begins tugging off his own armor, hissing whenever he finds another bruise. Clone Shiro had not gone easy on him, that’s for damn sure.

“I’m sorry.”

Keith jumps and whirls around to see Shiro blinking up at him.

He relaxes and slides his bodysuit off, leaving him in just his boxers before he approaches the cot. “Not your fault.”

“It was me, Keith.” Shiro says quietly. “I did… I’ve done so much to you, and not just during that fight. You had to deal with me being gone again.”

Keith shrugs and begins to tug on Shiro’s bodysuit, until it slides off completely. He carefully climbs in next to Shiro, curling up against his right side to leave his arm free. Shiro won’t stop staring at him.

“It wasn’t you. It was Haggar.”

“No, Keith, it _was_ me.” Shiro insists. “All my memories… all _his_ memories, they’re in here. I remember all of it, from waking up in that Galra facility to our fight. I did it. I hurt you.”

Keith tilts his head, considering, then smiles. “I’m glad.”

Shiro stares at him in confusion.

“I never wanted to kill him.” Keith says quietly. “I cared for him too. If you remember the fight, you remember what I said at the end. So… so I’m glad I didn’t really… I’m glad your both still here.” He whispers, swallowing thickly.

Shiro leans forwards and kisses his forehead. “I’m here, sweetheart.”

Keith’s breath hitches, and he buries his face in Shiro’s shoulder. They cling to each other for an eternity after that, before Shiro yawns above him.

“You’re exhausted, Takashi.” Keith says gently, propping himself up on his elbow and brushing Shiro’s forelock out of his face. “Go to sleep.”

“What about you?” Shiro says quietly, reaching up to brush his knuckles against Keith’s uninjured cheek. “You’re exhausted too.”

Keith huffs a laugh. “I can’t go to sleep.”

Shiro’s brow furrows. “Why?”

“Because if I do,” Keith breathes, lifting a hand to press tightly over Shiro’s heart. “If I do, you may not be here when I wake up. This, this may all be a dream, and I can’t… I can’t handle that.”

Shiro grips his hand tightly, bringing it up and pressing a kiss against the palm. “I’ll be right here, baby.”

Keith chokes. It’s been so long since he’s heard that pet name. “How can you be sure?” Keith says, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes again. Dammit, he’s already cried more than enough today! “You promised me you wouldn’t leave me again, but you _did_ , Shiro!” He sobs, burying his face into Shiro’s neck  once more. “How can you promise me you won’t leave again? How?”

“It was out of my control.” Shiro whispers. “But you’re right. I can’t promise I won’t be torn away from you again, but I can promise this,” Shiro tugs him out of his neck and looks at him with an intense expression. “Even if I am forced away from you again, I will always, _always_ come back to you. No matter what I have to endure, no matter what I must suffer, nothing will ever keep me from coming home to you. Not even death.”

Keith sobs again and kisses Shiro like he’s starved for it. Shiro kisses back just as intensely, and Keith realizes with a jolt that he must be _extremely_ touch-starved. Existing as only an astral projection for almost a year must have been utter torture. So he takes the opportunity to run his hands over every inch of skin he can reach, and Shiro moans into Keith’s mouth at the attention.

“God, Keith, I want…” he gasps, but then hesitates.

“I want it too.” Keith promises, kissing the scar across the bridge of Shiro’s nose. “I want you to make love to me so _badly_ , but you just got back to the land of the living, and I am in a lot of pain, and we are both drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s gonna have to wait for now.”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighs and kisses him again. Keith is okay with this.

They kiss for a long time, just relishing finally being with each other again. Keith doesn’t want to stop touching Shiro, and the feeling is mutual. Eventually though, exhaustion forces them to settle, Keith tucked close against Shiro’s side, hand resting over his heart, listening to it thrum steadily under his fingertips.

“I love you, Takashi.” He whispers.

“I love you too, baby. More than anything. More than life.”

Keith hums, and falls asleep to the familiar cadence of Shiro’s breathing, proving to him that the man he loves is safe and secure in his arms once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wait for me; I swear I'll find you  
> Climbing every wall that hides you  
> I know we were meant for something better  
> So wait for me; the world is changing  
> Underneath, the ground is shaking  
> You and I were meant for something better  
> Better, oh  
> \- Something Better, Audien ft. Lady Antebellum
> 
> And that concludes Season 6, with Shiro and Keith curled up in each other's arms once more. However, there is a bit of a problem. Writing wise, not plot wise.  
> I was looking through my outline and realizing that there's only 5 (maybe 6) chapters left that I can write. Since this fic follows canon, I can't write further until S8 drops sometime in November.  
> So I have a question: Would you prefer I keep my regular schedule of posting twice a week (putting the last S7 chapter on either the 19th or the 23rd, depending) and having a huge hiatus between that and S8? Or would it be better to post once a week (putting the last chapter on the 10th or 17th of Oct) and having a shorter hiatus between that and S8? If no one cares, I'll just keep up regular updates, but I wanted to see if anyone had an opinion. Depending on what ya'll want, I'll see you on Sunday or next Wednesday for the beginning of S7!  
> (Oh, and Part 4 of TLABL is starting on Sunday, so if you're waiting for that...)
> 
> Update: So the majority of people are voting for moving to once a week posts. Sorry to those who wanted me to keep posting at my regular pace, but it does help me a bit, seeing as I'm now juggling three ongoing fics. If it helps, the S7 chapters are going to be hella long so I hope that helps to make up for the less frequent posting. I love and appreciate you all and will see you on Wednesday!


	36. You Saved Me Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Welcome to S7! Shiro almost dying and lion shuffling and space pirate hijacking, oh my!

Keith wakes with a start when he feels Shiro shift beneath him. Shiro.

_Shiro._

It hadn’t been a dream. He finally has his lover back.

Keith sighs and blinks his eyes open, propping himself up on his elbows and looking down at Shiro, but frowns when he actually sees the man. Shiro is extremely pale, and his brow is pinched, like he’s having a nightmare. When Keith touches his cheek, he realizes he’s too cold.

Keith jumps out of the bed and drags his clothes on, sprinting towards Black’s mouth and hurling himself out into the weak daylight.

“Allura!”

The others are all gathered around a small fire, and their heads snap up at Keith’s shout.

“Keith! Good morning, what’s…?” Allura starts, standing, but Keith doesn’t give her time to finish.

“Something’s wrong with Shiro. I need help.”

Krolia stands from where she’d been seated between Lance and Romelle, grim expression on her face.

“Show us.”

He leads them all inside and Allura’s face falls when she catches sight of Shiro. “Help me get him into the pod.” She tells Keith. It takes them a few minutes, but then the white-haired man is situated and Allura is pouring over his vitals.

“Allura?” Keith asks, fingers splayed over the top of the pod.

“I,” Allura starts, then hesitates. “I believe that, that the clone’s body is trying to decide… whether or not it accepts Shiro’s consciousness.”

Keith’s eyes widen, and his fingers tighten against the glass. “That sounds bad.”

“It could be.” Allura confirms. “But, it could also be nothing, if the body and consciousness re-align.”

“And if they don’t?” Keith grits out.

Allura doesn’t answer.

~*~

The morning is spent with Keith curled over the pod, watching every minor fluctuation in Shiro’s vitals.

“Is… is he going to be okay?” Hunk asks quietly.

“Only time will tell if this body will accept Shiro’s consciousness.” Allura replies, also watching Shiro’s vitals carefully.

Pidge talks about trying to talk to the coalition, but Keith is barely paying attention. He knows he should, but…

He’s almost relieved when the others leave to find the elusive Yelmores that Coran is always going on about. Romelle, confused though she may be, is sure to give him a quick hug before she departs with the others.

“He’s going to be okay, Keith.” Allura murmurs.

“I hope so. You can’t imagine what he’s done for me.” Keith whispers.

He can feel his mother’s hand settle on his back, and the wolf press against his legs, but he still doesn’t look away from Shiro. A long stretch of time later, Allura makes an unhappy sound.

“His levels are getting dangerously low.”

Keith grits his teeth and leans in, gazing at Shiro’s prone form. “Fight.” He whispers. “I won’t give up on you.”

But Shiro’s levels just keep dropping. “No,” Keith pleads, “Please, Shiro,”

Shiro’s brow furrows and he stirs a little. Bad dreams, Allura informs him. He watches Shiro twitch and shudder for a long time. God, it feels like it’s been days since he woke up. Maybe it has been. He has no idea, he just knows he needs Shiro to wake up.

“I’m afraid the clone body is rejecting Shiro’s consciousness.” Allura whispers an eternity later. Shiro’s vitals are nearly non-existent.

“There must be some way you can help!” Keith pleads, looking up at the princess with desperation in his eyes.

She shakes her head slowly. “There’s nothing I can do,” She chokes.

Keith grits his teeth and pounds on the pod with a clenched fist. “Shiro, please! I…!” He chokes on his breath, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. “You can’t do this to me again, Takashi! You _promised_ , never again!”

Keith bows his head, resting his forehead against the smooth glass. “Please,”

There is a sudden beeping noise, and Keith opens his eyes. Shiro’s vitals. They’re beginning to stabilize.

“You heard me.” He whispers.

He pulls away from the glass just as it dissolves, Shiro coughing and panting weakly as his eyelids begin to flutter.

“Shiro!” Keith calls weakly.

And then, finally, his eyes open.

“Keith?” He breathes. “I was, dreaming.” He frowns and looks away briefly before looking back up at Keith. “Keith, you saved me.”

Keith lets himself smile with the relief flooding through him, and he bends down to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. “We saved each other.” He murmurs, then pulls away a fraction so he can kiss Shiro.

Shiro sighs into it and kisses him back languidly. Keith doesn’t mind taking his time. Not in the least.

The door hisses open just as Keith is helping Shiro sit up.

“Shiro’s looking better! All right!” Lance sings.

Keith raises an eyebrow at his best friend. “Where were you guys? We couldn’t get a hold of you.” Well, Allura couldn’t. Keith was too occupied staring at his once-again-dying boyfriend.

“Well, we were shrunk by a magic skunk, but we ended up using that sparkly dust that makes electricity bigger, or whatever, to unshrink ourselves! So, ready to charge up the lions?”

Keith and Shiro give Lance an identical “you have got to be kidding me” look. Then Shiro huffs a laugh and leans against Keith’s side.

“It’s good to be back.”

“And you will be _staying_ back or so help me _god_ , Takashi,” Keith growls. “You need to stop dying on me. It’s getting really fucking stressful.”

Shiro looks up at him with a soft expression. “Okay, baby. No more dying.”

“Good.”

~*~

While the others are charging the lions, he lays down with Shiro for a while longer.

“Please don’t do that again.” Keith whispers, tightening his grip on Shiro’s shirt. “I can’t go through that again. It would kill me to lose you a third time.”

Shiro pauses from where he’d been running his fingers carefully through Keith’s hair. “I won’t.” he murmurs.

Keith tucks himself further into Shiro’s side. “You said you were dreaming. What about?”

“I dreamed about the first time we met.” Shiro says quietly. “I dreamed about when Adam and I broke up, and how you were there for me when he refused to be. I dreamed about us racing through the desert together. I dreamed about when Adam came back before I left for Kerberos, and what I said to him. I dreamed about you, Keith. And how much you’ve done for me since I met you.”

Keith leans up and kisses him. “You’ve done more for me.” He whispers.

“Can we just agree we’ve done a lot for each other?” Shiro murmurs.

Keith smiles and presses their foreheads together. “Deal.”

~*~

A few hours later, Shiro is feeling stable enough to go outside. Keith’s got him situated on some of the crates they’d packed up from the castle and even that small trip seems to have left the former Black Paladin exhausted. Keith frowns and crosses his arms. Shiro had told him he would never be able to pilot Black again, as their connection had been permanently severed when Allura pulled him out of the lion. Keith still thinks that’s bullshit, but he’s less worried about leading than he used to be, and he thinks that maybe it’s good that Shiro can just… rest.

Pidge emerges from her lion and informs them all that she’s still been unable to contact her father on Earth, or anyone else from the coalition. Despite that, everyone seems stoked about going back to Earth. Keith is less excited than most, but even he has to admit he misses lazy days with Shiro in his little desert shack. He wonders if they’ll have time to spend a few days out there (and fuck like rabbits) before shit hits the fan. With their luck, probably not, but a guy can dream.

“How long do you think it will take us to reach Earth?” He asks. He’s not sure why he’s asking Coran, because he knew the man would blow it out of proportion (“a hundred and fifty thousand Earth years!”), but Pidge is quick to correct him and say it will be a year and a half at most. Still a long-ass trip, but definitely more manageable.

“It’s going to be a long and difficult voyage, but it’s our only chance to replace the Castle of Lions.” Allura says solemnly.

“There were times when I thought I’d never see Earth again.” Shiro murmurs quietly. “To be going back, it-”

Lance interrupts very loudly, as usual, and Keith slips around everyone to press up against Shiro’s side. Shiro smiles down at him and wraps his arm around Keith’s waist, squeezing gently.

Then there’s the trouble with passengers.

“The wolf is riding with me.” Keith says simply. Said wolf sneezes in agreement.

A small animal-related argument breaks out, but Lance waves them off.

“Guys, you’re all over-thinking this! I know exactly where everyone should go.”

Keith has no idea why they decide to humor him.

“Keith has the biggest lion, so he’ll take Kaltenecker, Allura will take the wolf, Hunk gets the mice, Keith can take his mom and Coran, I will be taking Romelle, and Shiro…”

Keith glares daggers at the Red Paladin.

“…will also be staying with Keith because I value my life.”

“You’re getting smarter, Lance.” Keith smirks, crossing his arms.

Even with Shiro and his mom, Keith still has to question this placement. But whatever, they can handle it for a little bit, right?

Wrong, apparently. Approximately fifteen minutes into their trip, they stop and swap out, much to the relief of everyone but Pidge (and Hunk, he’d apparently liked having the mice). Keith sighs at the relative peace and quiet, letting his head tilt back against the seat. Shiro and his mother have gone below to look through their supplies. He frowns as he realizes this will be the first time his boyfriend and his mother will ever be alone together. He’s not really sure he wants to know how that’s going.

~*~

Shiro is not afraid to admit that he is _tired_. After having his true consciousness ripped out of the Black Lion after a year, plugged into the body of his clone, and having said clone’s memories and thoughts and emotions integrate themselves into his own – including those that were running through him when he _almost killed the man he loves_ –  plus having his new body almost reject his soul and kill him, he’s physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Which is why he thinks he’s so short with Krolia.

“Shiro, you’re recovering, I can-”

“I’m not an invalid, I can handle looking through one box.” He snaps.

Krolia goes quiet and Shiro heaves a sigh. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”

He looks up to find the Galra woman watching him curiously. “You are angry with me.”

Shiro clenches his jaw. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just tired, and snapped at you without thinking-”

She shakes her head. “No, you’re angry with me, because of Keith.”

Shiro clicks his jaw shut. She’s just as perceptive as her son. “Maybe.” He admits.

“You resent me for leaving him behind. For abandoning him to the abuse he suffered, and you are right to.” She says quietly.

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “What do you know of his abuse?”

Her lips pull back in a snarl, and the metal box in her hands starts to groan as she squeezes it. “Quite a bit.” She sighs heavily and sets the box down. “I know what happened to him, the night he refers to as The Incident. And the other things as well. He was angry with me too. And I am _still_ angry at myself. I don’t blame you for your anger towards me. Keith had two years to talk things through with me, but you’ve known me for two days. I, I want you to know that, I’m actually quite happy you don’t like me right away.”

“Oh?” Shiro wishes he could cross his arms. As it is, he just settles his hand on his hip.

She nods. “We experienced flashes of each other’s memories in the quantum abyss. I saw a great deal of his life, including… that night.”

Shiro winces. Just hearing about it was painful, he can’t imagine how he would feel if he actually _saw_ what happened to his lover.

“But, I also saw good things that happened to him.” Krolia continues. “Most of his good memories had you. I saw the day the two of you first met. I saw the day you confessed your feelings. I saw,” Here, she coughs and looks away. “I saw, the night you first told each other ‘I love you’.”

Shiro goes red at that and looks away from the woman. Oh dear.

Krolia coughs again and keeps talking. “I saw small moments too. Nights where the two of you fell asleep together. Moments where you woke him up from nightmares. Quiet times between missions for Voltron when you would hold each other. I knew – I _know_ that you are the best thing that could have ever happened to my son. You protect him, just as he protects you. That is the epicenter of a Galra courtship. I could not be happier that you are angry with me, because it means you’re still protecting him, in your own way.”

She turns and goes back to the various boxes around them, and Shiro thinks that’s the end of it, but then she speaks again. “Even if you hate me forever for leaving him, that’s okay. Because I know that you will always be there for him. And that’s all I could ever want.”

Shiro looks over at her for a long moment, then turns back to his own box. Krolia is certainly an enigma, but, also very clearly a mother who loves her son. Shiro still doesn’t know how he should feel about her, but if what she says is true, then maybe he won’t be angry with her forever.

~*~

Eventually Krolia and Shiro rejoin him on the bridge. Shiro grips his shoulder gently in greeting and Keith tilts his head back, looking up at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Please tell me she didn’t give you a shovel talk.”

Shiro frowns a little, thumb rubbing little circles against Keith’s shoulder blade. “No, actually, it was kind of… the other way around.”

Keith raises a very skeptical eyebrow, then looks over at his mother, who looks slightly puzzled.

“Shovel talk?” She asks.

“It’s typically when a parent threatens their child’s significant other that if harm is done to their child, the parent will do harm to the significant other.” Keith says, shrugging. “But, Shiro gave you one?”

Krolia shrugs. “In a sense, I suppose. I already told you I liked him, firecracker, I am pleased to tell you I like him even more now.”

Keith blinks in surprise at his mom, then up at Shiro, who gives him a helpless shrug.

“Okay then.”

He really, _really_ doesn’t want to know.

~*~

A few hours later, Krolia points them to a Blade base, and they head towards it, hoping to get some updates and possibly help.

They find a graveyard. Not a literal one. There are no bodies or grave markers, but the feel of the place is eerie and quiet and makes no sense. Krolia says it was still active when she last checked in with the Blades, and that had been only a few days before Keith had gone to get her. So in only about a month, it had gone from active hub to ghost town.

Keith frowns as he looks around. That didn’t add up. He looks at Krolia, and knows she feels it too.

Suddenly, Coran calls from the Green Lion and tells them an enemy ship is approaching, and the base shakes around them. Keith orders everyone back to the lions and they fly up to see several fighters.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the wolf drop Coran off and poof back out, and Keith raises an eyebrow, wondering what he’s up to this time.

Then they try to form Voltron but apparently, _they don’t have enough power to do that_. So they have to run. Which Keith is loath to do, but honestly, they are in really rough shape. And getting blasted by xanthorium crystals. Keith groans and regrets waking up that morning. He orders them all into the nearby cyclone and has Pidge find them cover on a dangerous ice planetoid.

Cue lots of ducking in and out of ice tunnels and being boarded by a Galra pirate.

Keith grits his teeth when Black’s sensors inform him that someone has landed on top of the lion.

“He’s trying to break in.” Shiro mutters. “I’ll take care of him.”

“No,” Krolia says, “you’re still recovering. I’ll do it.”

Keith breathes a sigh of relief. He thinks Shiro forgets he’s _lacking the arm he used to use as a weapon_.

There is a tense silence, then Shiro sighs. “Alright.”

Before Krolia can duck out, Keith calls her back. “Take this.” He hands her the Marmora blade, which she takes and goes to take care of their boarder. She’s back in a matter of minutes, handing him the blade back.

“Where’s Coran?” Keith asks.

“Not sure. I think he went below.” She says.

Keith shrugs and goes back to navigating the tunnels. They escape out into the open, only to be put down by a gravity beam. They’re pulled into a cruiser and Galra pirates storm the lions, dragging them all out and putting them in handcuffs before escorting them to a jail cell. At least whoever captured them was stupid enough to put them all in one cell, but really, they hadn’t been captured in a long damn time. It’s a little embarrassing now that they’re as experienced as they are.

Lance is convinced there is some sort of secret tunnel, but Keith keeps watching the door. Krolia is peering through the slit and waiting as well. As soon as it opens, maybe they can overpower whoever is on the other side.

“Will someone shut him up?” Krolia grumbles as Lance continues to flail, and Keith smirks. It amuses him, how similar they really are.

That’s when they realize Coran is still free and is… their only hope of rescue. Keith is tempted to join Lance and Pidge in looking for a secret tunnel. He sighs and leans against the wall next to Shiro.

“Are you okay?” He asks quietly.

“As well as one can be in this sort of situation.” Shiro mutters. “You?”

Keith sighs again. “Pissed off. Wanting to punch something or someone. So, the usual.”

Shiro smiles.

 Not long after, the door opens, and two of Lotor’s former generals come in, demanding to know where they’ve been. Keith frons as the interrogation goes in circles. Something about their questions doesn’t make sense. They should know what happened, they were there, but they’re acting like Voltron has been away for longer than they have been, and is it him, or did the big one have two working eyes and a lot less scarring last time they’d seen her?

Then they threaten Pidge, and Keith forgets about the weirdness because all he wants to do is _rip them to shreds_.

Thankfully, something happens elsewhere in the ship before they can do anything other than slam her into a couple of walls. They drop her and leave the cell quickly. Pidge gives a thumbs up to let them know she’s okay, then they crowd the door. Next time it opens, they are getting the hell out.

But then the mice show up. They open the door after taking down the guard (and Keith remembers that the little guys are actually pretty badass) and tell Allura that Coran is trying to get them out. With Acxa’s help.

Keith frowns. Acxa… that’s the other of Lotor’s generals, right? The one he saved? Why is she still helping them? He thought she’d paid him back for saving her in the Weblum when she’d saved him at the Kral Zera. But then, he remembers how she didn’t fire on him when he went after Clone Shiro, even though she easily could have. Maybe… maybe she’s been on their side for longer than they realize.

They find (and save) Coran, but he doesn’t seem to know where Acxa is. Then he suggests (very drunkenly) getting their helmets and bayards back, which, good point. They find the room, and while everyone is trying to figure out how to get in past the guards, Keith just sighs and closes his eyes, summoning his bayard to him. Ignoring the startled looks of the others, he goes and knocks out the guards before tugging on his helmet, then he turns to look at them.

“Lance, lead the way. Keep the team together.”

“Wait, where are you going?” The Red Paladin asks.

“Acxa saved our asses. I’m not going to leave her behind. I’ll meet up with you guys soon.”

He turns and sprints through the halls, cutting down a lot of pirates in his way. Eventually he hears fighting and finds the orange one (Ezor?) about to kick Acxa in the head, so he activates his shield, blocking the blow and shoving the girl (woman? Wow he actually has no idea how old the three of them are) back.

She lands nimbly next to Zethrid (??) and smirks. “Oh look, Acxa, it’s your favorite paladin.” She coos. Acxa stands and giver her former comrade an annoyed look.

“So, do you guys actually know each other?” Zethrid asks.

“Yeah, don’t you remember how she never wanted to kill him?”

“Aw, I guess it is true love.”

Keith sighs in exasperation. “Can’t we just fight?” He growls and runs at them. Keith fights with Ezor while Acxa takes on Zethrid, but eventually they’re both thrown into a room filled with…

“Is that what I think it is?” He akas, eying the cannisters warily.

“Syntian nitrate.” Acxa confirms.

Huh. He can work with that. Keith opens his com link. “Guys, zero in on my location and fire on the ship!”

“Are you sure?” Allura asks.

“Just do it!”

Keith grabs Acxa and jets them out of the room as it explodes behind them. He flies through the hole and Black scoops them up quickly.

Keith lets go of the former general and throws himself into the pilot’s seat, barely registering his mother and Shiro on either side of him.

“Time to go, guys!” He yells, and they book it.

Once they’re far enough away, Keith groans and leans back. “Today was long and hellish and I want to sleep.” He says to no one in particular.

“Thank you.”

Keith turns to look at Acxa, who’s still on the floor of the cockpit. “You didn’t have to come back for me.” She continues.

Keith rolls his eyes. “You saved our asses. It would be pretty shitty to just leave you.”

“Why did you save us?” Shiro asks.

Acxa looks at Keith.

“Whoa, I thought we were even after you saved me at the Kral Zera, so I’m confused too.” He protests.

She looks away and leans against a wall. “Let’s find somewhere to land first.”

He doesn’t argue, and soon they find an abandoned planet, where Acxa proceeds to tell them that they’ve actually been MIA for three years, thanks to the rift explosion.

“Oh fantastic. And I thought being gone for two was trippy.” He mutters.

She then explains how she and the others split, and how she wants to be better. “I knew I had to find my own path. And it led me to you.” She says and looks up at him. He raises an eyebrow, and wonders if maybe there was more to Zethrid and Ezor’s teasing than he’d thought.

Still. “Thank you for saving us.”

She smiles and looks down. “I hope this makes up in some way for the wrong I’ve done. I realize now that Lotor wasn’t the man I thought he was. He preached unity, but in the end, he sought only power.”

“I understand how you feel.” Allura says quietly. “I fell for Lotor’s lies as well.” Keith winces. During their drifting, the others had caught him up on what he’d missed when working with the Blade, including Allura and Lotor’s trip to the Altean Atlantis known as Oriande, and their brief romance. He feels terrible for her, and what she’s gone through.

 “I’ll do everything I can out here to help the Voltron Coalition.” Acxa says.

Then they realize that everyone thinks they’re dead, and that everyone probably includes Matt, and Sam on Earth. Oh boy.

“Sleep.” Keith says to the deafening silence that follows that realization. “I need sleep, we all need sleep, let’s, let’s sleep. Now.”

He marches into the Black Lion and throws himself onto the mattress after stripping out of his armor, groaning loudly. Soon there is a weight on the mattress and a hand combing gently through his hair.

“Can I stop losing time, please?” Keith mutters.

“You? What about me?” Shiro teases softly.

“You too.” Keith rolls over onto his back and blinks up at his boyfriend. “Come here.” He holds out his arms and Shiro laughs, standing and stripping out of what he can before glancing back at Keith a little guiltily. “Uh, baby,”

Keith hurriedly stands and strips Shiro out of the rest of his armor. “Sorry, sorry, forgot.”

He leads Shiro back down to the mattress and curls around him snugly, sighing when he’s finally comfortable. “Weird, long, _long_ day.” Keith mutters. “Hopefully tomorrow will be less weird.”

Shiro says nothing, just rubs Keith’s back slowly. “I think Acxa feels something for you.” he says quietly.

“Shit, I’d hoped it was just me reading too much into it.” Keith sighs. “Oh well. We’re leaving her here tomorrow, so that’ll be that.”

“Will it?”

Keith lifts his head and gives Shiro an incredulous look. “Are you worried?”

“No.” Shiro says immediately. “But I do know what being in love with you is like. It’s hard to ignore.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “I doubt she’s in love with me.”

Shiro shrugs. “I guess we’ll see when we meet up with her again.”

Keith pokes Shiro’s chest gently. “You know I love _you_ , right? And only you?”

“I know, baby.” Shiro kisses the top of his head.

“Good.” Keith sighs, then finally drifts off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope they don't push the Acxa/Keith thing. It would feel so unnatural.   
> And with that, I end my brief discourse. It's weird only posting once a week for this but I'm glad the chapters are long, so that they may sate you in the interim. Next week comes a Druid Bitch and Space Madness. Have a wonderful week!
> 
> It doesn't really matter what you do or say  
> I'm never going anywhere anyway  
> 'Cause when I'm dying for you, I've never felt so alive  
> If you cried out for more, if you reached out for me  
> I would run into the storm just to keep you here with me  
> I have gone beyond my years, I've wasted half my life  
> But I found it all in you  
> Did I save you? 'Cause I know you saved me too  
> \- Song #3, Stone Sour  
> (AKA, a very underappreciated Sheith song)  
> (Also I really didn't want to name the chapter just "Song #3" so I made up a title, sorry)


	37. Be Somebody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More space shenanigans. And some angst. Space madness is a bitch, yo.

They bid Acxa goodbye the next day, and for the next two weeks, all is quiet. Except for that weird incident where they get abducted by some all-powerful, all-knowing alien being named Bob (and seriously? _Bob??_ ) and forced to play a gameshow. That, that was weird. He doesn’t like drawing because he’s terrible at it but managed to do okay, then the Happy Zarkon Family showed up which was trippy and then Lance was bad with faces and got put in what was essentially boiling oil then Pidge attacked the weirdo and scared him so bad he ended “the game” and made them vote for who got to leave.

Keith doesn’t want to remember most of that very, very strange vision-quest thing, but he does want to remember that last part. Hearing everyone say they wanted someone else to escape was really touching. And then Lance picked him.

“Lance, who got your vote?”

Lance swallows thickly. “I voted for Keith. He’s our leader, plus he’s half Galra. So I think he’s like, the future.”

Keith stares at his best friend for a long moment. Wow.

“Keith the leader! Who do you think deserves to make it out of here, huh?” Keith glares at the smug son of a bitch in his floaty chair as his answer appears on the screen in front of him.

“Lance? Why Lance? Oh, wait, let me guess, because you don’t wanna be stuck with him forever, am I right?” The invisible audience laughs, and Keith’s scowl deepens.

“No. I want him to get out of here because… because I think he’s come really far since we started this. He’s grown the most, learned the most. I think he could do a lot of really great things if he had the chance. He does so much for us. I think, maybe, he could use those instincts to help the rest of the universe as well.”

Keith glances over at Lance, who looks like he’s about to cry. “Buddy if we were not locked into these glowy boot things and you were more okay with spontaneous touching I would hug you so damn hard.”

Keith waves him off. “Shut up.”

In the end they all get to leave, but the next time they land, Lance makes good on his promise and wraps him in a really tight hug. “I love you, man.” He says thickly.

Keith huffs, but wraps his arms around Lance in return. “I love you too, buddy. You’re my best friend, you know?”

Lance laughs and pulls back, beaming at him. “I know. I can’t wait until we get home. I’m gonna introduce you to everyone and get my mom to make you her famous carnitas! I know you like spicy. You’ll love it.”

The others all huddle around, all very sappy about what was said there at the end. Romelle, Coran, Krolia and Shiro are all very confused but pleased that everyone seems to be in good spirits.

“You know,” Keith says that night, huddled around the fire. “If, if the question had been different, if it had been to choose one person to stay, I would have chosen to stay so you could all go home. You all deserve to go back to Earth. Allura, you deserve to _see_ it. If that had been the question… I wouldn’t have hesitated. I love you guys.” He doesn’t quite know why he’s admitting all this, but he feels it needs to be said.

The confession ends with a big group pile on him. Keith doesn’t mind.

~*~

Several days after that mess, the others try to convince him to name the wolf.

“Not gonna happen.” He deadpans.

“I vote Kosmo.” Hunk declares.

“I like Kosmo.” Allura says.

“Kosmo’s cool.” Lance adds.

“Yeah, it’s nice!” Pidge coos.

Keith sighs. “We’re not calling him Kosmo.”

“Oh come on, Keith, we gotta call him something!” Hunk protests.

Keith sighs again as the wolf in question pops into the cockpit. “I figure when he’s ready, he’ll tell me his name.” God knows he’s smart enough to, when he feels like it.

“So Kosmo. Got it.” Lance says and Keith groans. Krolia pats his shoulder reassuringly. It’s just the two of them, and Keith wonders how the hell he let Pidge talk him into letting Shiro ride with her for a while. He wants his boyfriend, dammit. He does understand that with Matt out of reach and Earth still a long way off, Shiro’s the closest thing she has to family at the moment, so he can’t really begrudge her. But still.

Not long after, they receive a signal with a hidden Blade transmission. Krolia leads them to the source, saying it might be Kolivan. After three years, Keith wonders what the old man’s doing.

They find the site of a massacre.

The whole city is grim and silent, evidence of battle covers every surface of every building. Marks from Blades and magic tell a gruesome tale that none of them really want to think about.

Then the wolf finds Macidus.

He takes them back to his home where he tells them of the Blades’ slaughter at the hands of the Druids. Krolia is deeply distraught, especially when she bends to examine the wall of blades that Macidus has collected from the fallen.

Keith recognizes a few of them himself and grits his teeth.

“I’ve been sending the signal Kolivan gave me ever since in the hopes of finding any remaining Blades.” Macidus whispers.

“There’s still a few of us alive.” Keith says quietly.

“Good.”

Krolia studies the blades further. “I recognize every one of these Blades. I trained many of them myself. If I had only been here.” She pauses, then pulls one out of the wall, cradling it in both hands as Keith walks over. He recognizes it even before Krolia speaks, and his stomach drops.

“Kolivan.” She murmurs.

“Dammit all.” Keith hisses. “Their service will not be forgotten.” But then the blade in Krolia’s hand flickers.

“Kolivan?” She gasps.

They explain to the others that the blade flickering means Kolivan is still alive. Then Macidus laughs a little strangely, and Keith’s eyes narrow.

“Your hand is looking much better.” He says to Keith.

“My hand?” He asks warily.

“You don’t remember our fight?”

Images flash in his mind. The quintessence processing plant, back when Allura was captured. They’d fought and he’d been burned by purple lightning.

Fuck. A Druid.

“You’ve been using that signal to draw Blades in!” Keith hisses.

Macidus laughs again. “Kolivan proved to be useful after all.” Then he disappears. Something is left behind and Krolia seems very unhappy about it, but the wolf teleports him away before whatever it is goes off.

He stands and rubs between the wolf’s ears, then looks around. “Where are we?”

Then Macidus appears. They hide, then they fight. He’s going to gut the bastard, like he should have done all those years ago. He’s gotten a lot better since then, so this time, this time they are much more even.

Especially since the fucking Druid isn’t the only one who can teleport anymore.

He and the wolf hammer the guy hard, but he’s a slippery bastard. Keith can’t get a good hit. Eventually Allura blasts her way through the floor and the others follow, but Macidus vanishes again. Keith growls. Enough. He’s ending this and getting Kolivan down from where he’s hanging like a broken marionette behind them. Now.

So Keith closes his eyes and listens. He sees flashes of Macidus popping in and out, laughing all the while. Then he opens his eyes and hurls his Blade into empty space, where the Druid appears a moment later. Keith savors the look of shock on his face before he dissolves in a burst of lightning.

“Rematch over, you son of a bitch.” Keith hisses. Then he turns towards where Kolivan is hanging. He runs over and starts to undo the ties at his ankles.

“Kit?” Kolivan murmurs weakly.

“Shut up old man, let me get you down.”

“Kolivan!” Keith turns to see Krolia running up.

“Get his other ankle.” Keith tells her. They work quickly to get the Blade Leader down, each taking one of his arms over their shoulders, and get him back upstairs. Pidge runs a diagnostic to check the damage and Keith and his mother hover over his prone form.

“He’s in pretty bad shape, but it looks like he’s gonna be okay.” Pidge says eventually.

Keith sighs in relief. Good.

“I, I’m sorry my code lured you here.” Kolivan rasps.

“There was nothing you could do.” Keith tells him firmly. “And I for one am damn glad it did. We found you, didn’t we?”

Kolivan huffs a laugh and looks over at Krolia. “He really is just like you.”

“I know.” His mom says fondly.

“Kolivan,” Keith says, drawing the man’s attention again. “The coordinates I gave you, the Altean colony, were you able to find it?”

Kolivan frowns. “I sent a team. There was nothing there. Just an empty facility. They were all gone.”

Keith hisses. “Well that bodes well.” He mutters.

Krolia sighs and looks up at the wall of blades. “Judging by the blades that Macidus collected, he may have dealt a critical blow to the Marmora, but he did not defeat us entirely.”

Kolivan sighs. “I must find the others. The universe needs us now more than ever.”

Krolia looks down for a long moment, and Keith knows his mother well enough to know what she’s going to say next. “I will join you. We will revive the Blade of Marmora together. We’ll just need to find a ship.”

Kolivan hums thoughtfully. “The Druid has a cruiser stored not far from here. We can use it to reunite the Blades.”

Krolia smiles. “That’s our first bit of luck in a long time.”

Keith stands as Kolivan closes his eyes, and Krolia claps him gently on the shoulder. “Rest.” She says, then stands as well. Keith holds the curtain open for her as she steps out of the alcove.

“Keith, I,” She starts, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry to have to say goodbye to you for a second time.” She murmurs, looking up at him.

Keith shakes his head slowly. “It’s not goodbye.” He pulls out the blade – their blade – and holds it out to her. “Take this. You can return it when we see each other again.”

She smiles softly and takes if from his hand, then steps forwards to wrap her arms around him. He grips her just as tightly. Then she pulls away, still gripping his shoulders.

“Thanks for everything you taught me, Mom.” He murmurs.

“Keith,”

Keith turns to see Shiro giving him an apologetic look. “It’s time to get going.”

He nods and turns back to his mother.

“I love you, Keith.” She says gently.

“I love you too, Mom.”

“I promise we won’t be separated long this time.” She swears, then jolts when the wolf pops up at her feet. She smiles down at him and rubs his ears. “Keep an eye on each other, yeah?”

The wolf yips and licks her fingers. Then she looks up at Shiro.

“Keep him safe.”

Shiro give her an unreadable look. “I always do.”

Keith steps away and takes Shiro’s hand. “Good luck. Both of you.” He murmurs.

“And luck to you all as well.” Krolia says.

As they fly away, Keith’s gut twists but he ignores it. He knows he’ll see her again. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting though. She’s been with him constantly for the past two years. It’s going to be a little weird being without her again. He can’t remember what it’s like. It’s like trying to remember his life before Shiro.

Keith sighs and tilts his head, resting his cheek on the hand gripping his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re still with me.” He whispers.

“Always.” Shiro promises.

Keith smiles.

~*~

They’ve been journeying for two months and things are starting to get really, really boring. It’s been two weeks since they’d left Krolia.

Then three.

And then they’re in a void that spans lightyears with no planets anywhere nearby.

One week passes.

Two.

Three.

Four.

They’re drifting, and Keith is alone for a good portion of the “morning”. The wolf likes to split his time between Keith and Shiro. Keith had been extremely pleased that the wolf latched onto Shiro as quickly as he did, but he’s been acting as Shiro’s sort of therapy dog as well, waking him from nightmares and curling up around him like he does for Keith. He finally pops into the Black Lion around their estimate of noon and curls up behind the pilot’s seat, talking a nap.

“Guys, I think I might have an idea on how to get the lions back to full power.” Shiro says into the silence.

“And you’re just now telling us this?” Lance says incredulously.

“Well, I’m sorry, Lance, but I guess having my consciousness transplanted from the infinity of Voltron’s inner quintessence into the dead body of an evil clone of myself has left me a little out of sorts for the past few weeks.” Shiro says drily.

“Oh. Yeah.” Lance says weakly.

Keith snickers quietly. He loves when his boyfriend gets salty. “What is it Shiro?”

“It’s difficult to articulate, but remember when we were fighting Zarkon and we were hit with that beam that drained all of our quintessence?”

“Yes! You were all completely incapacitated.” Allura says.

“That’s right, but we managed to regenerate enough power to keep fighting.”

Keith frowns. “Yeah. We repowered Voltron ourselves.”

“Exactly. And I think that’s how it’s meant to work. Since I… disappeared,”

Keith is grateful he hasn’t uttered the word “died” since he did so inside the Black Lion. He’s not sure he could handle hearing it again.

“you’ve been relying on the castle’s crystal to keep the lions charged. But if you were a team of fully-realized paladins, you wouldn’t need that.”

“I,” Allura starts, “I can’t help but feel this must my fault. You were able to recharge Voltron before, but since I joined…”

“It’s no one’s fault.” Shiro says gently. “Being a Paladin of Voltron takes training. You just haven’t had time to focus on working together to find your balance in this configuration.”

“Well we’ve got nothing but time now.” Pidge says cheerfully.

“That’s right. We’ve been down before, and we’ve always come back.” Lance chirps.

Keith smiles. “I’m glad you’re here, Shiro. After all you went through, how did you find the strength to be the leader of Voltron?”

Shiro laughs quietly. “I had help.”

Keith’s eyes widen, and he fights down an irrational blush.

“Can you two please stop flirting over the comms?” Pidge groans.

“Yeah, get a lion!” Lance adds.

“I, I just meant,” Shiro says hastily, “That, that’s why there are five of you. To lift each other up. “

“Sure it is.” Hunk coos. “You guys are too cute.”

“I will ram your lion, Hunk.” Keith mutters.

The team starts ribbing him and Shiro mercilessly and Keith groans. He’s starting to hope Lance’s prediction of something coming to kill them comes true.

God, he should have known better.

A strange, untraceable cosmic storm pops up in front of them, and they’re all tossed around like ragdolls. Then the lions go offline completely. Everyone not wearing a full set of paladin armor was frozen by the storm, including Shiro. Keith curses colorfully as they all get out of the lions, trying to push them together so they won’t lose each other.

When they’re all out there though, the energy storm comes back. Keith manages to grab everyone and get them stabilized, but, they have lost visual on the lions, and have absolutely no idea where any of them are.

“This is not great.” He sighs. “Okay, let’s run through our checklist. Does anyone have any supplies?”

That is answered with a resounding no.

Keith sighs. “Our suits will recycle enough moisture to keep us hydrated for a little while. We just need to hang tight. We have each other.”

For all the good that will do.

He gets them all back to back, arms linked, and sets a timer to check in with them every half-varga.

It really doesn’t take them all that long to go a little crazy.

Keith hates moments like this, where he has nothing to do but think. It leads to him thinking about things he’d rather not remember, and it ends in him getting really worked up. Hallucinating strange glowing creatures is the least of the bad shit going on in his head.

It’s dark and he can’t freely move his arms without letting go of the others and that makes him anxious. At one point, he accidentally dozes off and wakes up screaming, trying to wrench his arms free of their restraints.

“Keith! Buddy! Está bien, Keith, estás a salvo. En la mayor parte. Wow, estoy muy contento de que no puedas entenderme.”

Keith drags in a shaky breath and lets it out slowly. “Thanks, Lance.” He lets Pidge and Hunk secure their arms through his again and fights off the sense of panic the action causes. Bad. Bad. They need to find somewhere to go and soon. Keith’s really starting to freak the fuck out.

And when he freaks out, he lashes out.

He doesn’t want to lash out. Because, because then they’ll get angry with him and abandon him. They did before, when he left the castle to get away from Clone Shiro. They hated him and ignored him for months.

He starts to wonder if the only reason they’re tolerating having him back is because he is literally the only one capable of flying Black. Probably. He’s never given them much of a reason to like him. To want to stay with him. He knows he’s too much to handle. That he’s the _loner._ They probably still hate him.

He doesn’t want to go through them abandoning him again. He can’t.

Then the lightning comes and tries to literally tear them away from him and he panics.

He swings out at the storm wildly, vaguely realizing his bayard isn’t manifesting. God, everything is failing.

“My bayard won’t work. We don’t know where the lions are. We’re being attacked by things we can’t even see!” He chokes out.

“Keith, what are you talking about? There’s nothing out there. It’s just us.” Lance says slowly.

God, did he just _imagine_ the lightning just now!?

A little while later, Keith ignores the sound off, so the others do it for him. What’s the point? They’re all going to leave anyway.

“My father had something he always said in dire situations,” Allura starts.

“’Give up’?” Keith muses, almost to himself, but not quite.

“Sorry?”

“It just doesn’t seem like he was a real fighter when the chips were down.” Keith mutters. What is he saying? _Why_ is he saying it!?

“Keith, come on,” Hunk says quietly.

“You have a _lot_ of nerve questioning someone’s leadership, seeing how you left us!”

Keith flinches.

“Allura, please,” Hunk tries again.

“I left because I couldn’t stay!” Keith bites out. “Not with Shiro gone! Not with the clone there! Not with everyone always listening to _him_ over _me_ even when I tried to lead, which I _never wanted to do!_ ”

“You could have told us about the clone! We might have been able to actually _do_ something, get Shiro out sooner, but no, he suffered because of your _secret_.”

Keith wrenches his arm away from Allura.

“Bad plan, bad plan,” Hunk says quickly.

“ _Fuck_ you, you have _no idea_ what I was going through!” He snarls at the princess.

“Lay off her, Keith! You did kind of screw up!” Lance snarls.

“Oh, you’re gonna go after me to? I _told_ you about the clone, but you just didn’t _get it_!”

“If you hate leading so much, maybe you should have just stayed away.” Lance says lowly, and Keith flinches again.

He knew it.

Hunk tries to calm them down but the mounting panic and exhaustion are making Keith more on edge than he’s been in a very long time, and he just can’t listen.

“Just drift off by yourself, Mister Lone Wolf.” Lance growls.

“Fine.”

It was only a matter of time, anyway.

“No, don’t!”

Hunk grabs his ankle before he can leave. “We have to stay together!”

“Why, Hunk?” Keith shouts, clenching his fists. “Are we really even friends? Is there anything holding us together besides some fucked up series of coincidences? I mean, what are we? Some _chosen saviors?_ Do you _really_ believe that? _What are we even doing out here!?”_ He sobs.

“We’re doing what we have to.” Hunk says quietly and tugs him down. Keith is shaking by the time he’s level with the others again.

“I know why you’re scared, Keith.” Hunk says quietly. “But you don’t need to be, okay? We love you.”

Then the light appears and he and most of the others are caught in some weird vision of Earth and Hunk is the genius he always is and proves both himself and Keith right because hey look _there is something hunting them, and it has a shit ton of teeth._

“Get out of here! I’ll buy you some time! Go!” Hunk shouts, and charges the thing, bayard drawn.

Uh, no.

“Grab him!” Keith shouts. Pidge grabs Hunk’s ankle, and her ankle is grabbed by Lance who is also hanging onto Allura who is hanging onto him.

“What are you doing?” Hunk shouts.

“Fire jetpacks!” Pidge calls, and they pull themselves away from the creature before it can chomp them into bits.

Keith catches Hunk to prevent him from doing something stupid again and the Yellow Paladin looks around at them wildly. “What are you guys doing? I told you to escape!”

“Why would we ever do that without you?” Lance asks incredulously, and Pidge seconds that.

“You can’t expect us to just leave you!” She says.

“We’re a team, Hunk. We have to stick together, like you said.” Allura adds.

Keith is quiet for a moment. “Allura, Lance… I’m sorry. About earlier.”

“I’m sorry as well, Keith. You leaving was what was best for you at the time, even if none of us realized it. I should not make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.” Allura murmurs.

“Yeah, man. I, I know we fucked up then by being angry at you and not really talking to you. But, we’re not gonna leave you like that again, okay? We’re all in this together, to whatever end. You’re not alone.” Lance tells him.

“None of us are.” Pidge says, gripping Keith’s shoulder.

Keith smiles. “This series of fucked up coincidences that led us here, they happened for a reason. They brought us together as paladins, friends, and, and family. Shiro was right, there are five of us for a reason. _None_ of us will ever be alone again. In anything.”

Their bayards appear in their hands and activate, and Keith feels a tug in the back of his mind. Black.

Keith turns back to the creature and jets towards it, the others hot on his heels. “Alright, team, we have to attack this thing with our bayards from every side possible, that way it can’t target us all at once.”

They hammer the thing from all sides but don’t really seem to do much more than annoy it, but at least it’s not eating them.

“It’s toying with us.” Allura growls.

Lance shoots at it, then it seems to decide it’s hungry enough, so it turns towards them. But then the lions show up and blast the thing with much more powerful lasers.

Keith sighs in relief as Black nudges him from behind. “Hey, girl.” He murmurs. “Welcome back.”

Then the storm starts up again.

“Again?” Hunk groans.

“We know we can’t outrun it!” Allura calls.

Keith clenches his jaw. “We’re not running this time. Into the lions!”

Once they’re in, he gives an order he hasn’t been able to in a long time.

“ _Form Voltron!”_

They pass into the storm and discover yet another upgrade in the form of giant mega-jet wings that propel them through the storm, and out the other side safely.

Keith groans when they’re safe, then looks around as he hears a quiet whine. The wolf is shaking himself and looks up at Keith quizzically, tail wagging slowly.

“Hey, buddy.” He murmurs.

The wolf pads over and nuzzles against Keith’s stomach, whining quietly.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t doing so well a little while ago, but I’m fine now.” He promises.

“Keith? Baby are you okay? What happened?” Shiro demands over the comm.

“I’m okay, Shiro. We all are.” Keith leans back and scratches the wolf between the ears, smiling a little.

“We good, man?” Lance asks quietly, on a private channel.

“We’re fine.” Keith promises.

“I was wrong, before.” Lance continues. “You’re not a lone wolf anymore. Hell, you’re leading the pack. And we’re right here with you.”

“I seem to recall you telling me I’m stuck with you.” Keith says fondly.

“Well duh.”

“It looks like that nebula carried us thousands of lightyears away.” Allura says on the main comm.

“So where are we?” he hears Coran ask.

“That looks like…” Pidge mutters, then, “I recognize these constellations! This is Earth’s solar system! It’s the Milky Way!”

Keith sags against the chair behind him and lets out a shuddering sigh. They’re back.

“Home.” Hunk says quietly.

“We made it.” Lance sighs.

“We’re finally here.” Shiro murmurs.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Keith says, and drives Voltron forwards with their new jets. Finally, their long journey is over.

They’re finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I did not rehash the game show episode with the addition of Shiro. I know some of you wanted me to, but, no. I may at some point write something where Shiro was there, but not in this fic.  
> Next chapter has our brave heroes returning to Earth (because I'm not doing the Sam Holt chronicles, they would be no different in this AU). Some reunions and some revelations and some quiet moments. See you next week, and if you are in the path of the hurricane, get somewhere safe for the love of god.   
> EDIT: I forgot the Spanish translation! Again it's probably wrong but let me know if the Google fucked up:  
> "It's okay, Keith, you're safe. For the most part. Wow, I'm really glad that you can't understand me."
> 
> After all the lights go down  
> I'm just the words you are the sound  
> A strange type of chemistry  
> How you've become a part of me  
> And when I sit alone at night  
> Your thoughts burn through me like a fire  
> You're the only one who knows who I really am  
> We all wanna be somebody  
> We just need a taste of who we are  
> We all wanna be somebody  
> We're willing to go, but not that far  
> \- Be Somebody, Thousand Foot Krutch


	38. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Earth. Lots. This chapter is... very long. Hng.

They speed past Pluto (and Kerberos, which started this whole damn thing) and Neptune before Pidge picks up anything from Earth, and they do not like what they hear. It’s a distress signal.

Keith pulls up an image of Earth and scans it, only to find several Galra battle cruisers orbiting the planet.

Shit.

“Guys, are you seeing this?” He asks quietly.

“The Galra have invaded Earth.” Lance says weakly.

Keith grits his teeth. “Legs, punch it!”

Every thruster fires at full blast, and they rocket towards Earth. Not this time. Not this planet. Not on their watch.

Pidge tries to make actual contact with Sam, which she does somewhere just past Saturn.

“Katie? Katie is that you?”

“Dad! It’s me, I’m here!”

“Katie, I’m so glad to hear your voice. Where are you?”

“We’re within the solar system, heading to Earth now!”

“Wait! You must stop!”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Wh, say again?”

“Stop! Sendak has invaded the planet. He’s taken over Earth. If he finds out that Voltron is here, he’ll threaten the people of Earth in exchange for the lions.”

Keith curses under his breath. “Reverse thrusters!”

Voltron skids to a halt just in front of Jupiter. And with three fighters right in front of them. Apparently, Sam did upgrade Earth’s defenses because the Garrison manages to jam their frequencies so Voltron can take them out quietly. They leave the third one, as Pidge points out they won’t be able to use the lions to get to Earth.

They land on a tiny moon in Saturn’s rings and pack up everything they might need, leaving behind the mice and the cow. The wolf, of course, goes. Even if Keith wanted to leave him behind, he’d just pop into being next to them on Earth anyway.

Before Shiro joins the others in the cargo hold, Keith stops him. “You ready for this?” he asks quietly.

Shiro sighs and leans against him. “I don’t know. But I have to be.”

Keith squeezes his bicep a little tighter. “I’m right here with you, Takashi.”

Shiro knocks their helmets together – the best facsimile he can do of a forehead touch at the moment – and smiles. “I know.”

Keith flies them in completely unnoticed, but much like many of the small ships he flies, he crashes. He’s noticing a very annoying trend with that. They land in the desert and walk for a while before finding… the ruins of a city.

Fuck.

“Hey, I know this place. I’ve been here.” Hunk says quietly. This is Plaht City, it’s about a half an hour from the Garrison.”

“Whoa, I can’t believe this is all that’s left of it.” Lance says quietly.

Keith grits his teeth. He knows it to. He looks over at Shiro, and he clearly remembers as well. It’s the city that he’d always drag Keith to during the summer. It had the diner where they would always eat and meet up with Matt.

Keith reaches over and twines his fingers with Shiro’s. “We need to get to the Garrison. Stay together. Let’s move quick and quiet.”

Walking through the ruins of the city is hard. Keith spots the diner and presses closer against Shiro, the wolf pressing in on his other side. He also spots the tattoo parlor where he’d gotten Shiro’s name tattooed on his chest.

He grits his teeth and keeps walking. He tries not to notice the skeletons strewn about.

Eventually, a patrol of drones spots them, and they have a bit of a firefight. On Earth. Keith kind of hates this.

“I wonder how many of those things they have around here?” He muses after Lance takes them all out. “Pidge, any chance we could see those things before they get to us?”

“Already on it. Looks like four more headed our way.”

Along with some sentries. Joy of joys.

Suddenly, a Garrison rover comes crashing in, taking out a sentry in its path. Another comes up and out of the driver’s side, a girl brings up a pistol.

“Stay down, we got this!”

Keith turns to her as she takes out one he was already aiming for.

“I had it,” he grumbles.

“Drones send out a distress signal when attacked.” An angry voice snaps behind him.

Keith turns to the speaker and his eyes widen. Oh. Oh no.

“Our weapons neutralize those signals, so unless you want to deal with a swarm of those things, _let us handle it_.”

James Fucking Griffin. Well, Keith’s day is complete.

James seems to recognize him just as he finishes chewing him out, funnily enough. “Wh, _Kogane?_ ”

“I hate everything.” Keith groans. Shiro pats his shoulder comfortingly.

“Please, no more punching.”

“No promises.” He mutters, eyeing James uneasily.

The other boy – man, he guesses, eesh – snaps a salute when he gets a proper look at Shiro. “Lieutenant Shirogane, sir! Its good to see you. Welcome home.”

Shiro waves him off. “At ease, Griffin. We need to get to the Garrison.”

“We can get you there, sir.” The young woman with the pistol says. “Hop in before more drones show.”

They all crawl into the rovers and the drive to the Garrison is silent. Once they crest some hills, they see an orange version of the particle barrier entirely covering the compound. Keith raises an eyebrow. Wow. Go Sam.

As they approach, Keith starts to feel nervous. He hasn’t set foot in this place since he got kicked out. So much has changed since then, but, it still feels… a little scary.

Doors open, and they travel through a long tunnel, emerging on the inside of the particle barrier. They approach the main gates, where a group of people are waiting, Including Sam and who Keith guesses is Colleen Holt.

“Mom!” Pidge cries as soon as the doors open, and she throws herself into Colleen’s arms. Sam envelopes his wife and daughter as their dog yaps happily at their sides.

“Lance!”

“Uncle Lance!”

Keith turns to see Lance sprinting towards two little kids who he pulls into his arms, dropping to his knees as a huge swarm of people engulf him.

Hunk has no people calling out for him, and it clearly upsets him, but before he can go over to him, Keith is distracted by the approach of _Iverson_.

“Officer Shirogane.” He says, coming to parade rest in front of Shiro. “It’s great to see you again. My apologies for throwing you in quarantine.”

“Ah! So you’re the one who strapped Shiro to a table! I heard about that!” Coran says suspiciously.

Keith snorts and crouches down to comb through the wolf’s fur, keeping him out of Iverson’s line of sight for a while longer. Shit, he really did mess up the Commander’s eye.

Shiro waves Iverson off. “You were just following orders, as any good soldier would.”

“What does that make me, then, for breaking you out?” Keith mutters, burying his face in the wolf’s fur.

He hears Shiro introduce the Alteans, and Iverson greets them cordially.

“And Cadet,” Iverson says gruffly, and Keith sighs, standing and snapping a salute.

“Yes, sir?”

“I… owe you an apology as well.”

Keith drops his hand, looking up at the man incredulously. Huh?

“I’ve heard about all you’ve done. I was wrong about you, and, maybe I was wrong to lie to you as well. I did know what really happened to Shirogane. You were right about that, and right to be angry. There’s still a hole in my office wall. So, it’s an honor and privilege to see you again.”

“You punched his office, too?” Shiro sighs.

Keith shrugs, and looks up at Iverson cautiously. “Thank you, sir. I guess I wasn’t the… best Cadet back then. I owe you an apology too. So, sorry about your eye.”

Iverson laughs. “Ah, I deserved that. I was upset that a child was showing me up. Honestly, I’m expecting a punch from her too.”

Keith shrugs. “You may get one.” Then he smiles and holds out a hand. Iverson takes it firmly. Suddenly, Keith feels a lot better.

“Ah, and who’s this little fella?” Iverson says, bending down to pet the wolf.

 A hand grips Keith’s shoulder. “Proud of you.” Shiro murmurs in his ear.

“Thanks, superman.” Keith murmurs back.

Shiro turns to talk to Iverson again, and Keith catches sight of James glaring at him. Keith sighs and turns as well. Nope. Not going there. Not yet, at least.

“-my family?” Shiro is asking when Keith tunes back in.

“They moved back to Japan about six months after your brief return.” Iverson says. “So, we really don’t know.”

Shiro nods, jaw tightening, and Keith reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“Let’s get you all inside.” Iverson says after a moment, and they all follow behind the commander as he leads them towards the compound. He begins telling Shiro about their initial days of occupation as they walk inside. “The first wave of our best fighters was wiped out in a matter of minutes. They never stood a chance.” He says grimly.

Shiro tenses. “Your... your best fighters.”

Iverson gives Shiro a pitying look. “I’m sorry, Shirogane.”

Keith’s eyes widen. Oh shit. Adam.

Iverson leads them all to get changed, then takes Shiro to the memorial wall, and Keith follows at a distance.

He watches Shiro scan the names and still, reaching up with his remaining hand and running his fingers over a name. “Adam,” He chokes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s because of them that Earth still has a chance.” Iverson says quietly.

Keith pushes away from the far wall and comes to stand next to Shiro. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs.

“I, I know things didn’t end well between us, but, I never wanted this.” Shiro whispers.

“I know, Takashi.” Keith leans against Shiro’s side carefully. “Don’t feel guilty for this. He died trying to save Earth. If your positions had been reversed, you would have done the same damn thing.”

“I know. I just, I wish we’d had the chance to talk. To clear the air. I hate that he died with everything still uneasy between us. I loved him once, Keith. I hate that I couldn’t say _goodbye_.”

Keith leans his head on Shiro’s shoulder. “Shiro,”

“And, and it’s not just because of Adam,” Shiro chokes. “I, if you’d been here, you’d be up on this wall too, Keith. And, and the fact is, it _still_ might happen, and I can’t, I can’t lose you too!” He sobs.

“Hey,” Keith turns Shiro towards him and presses their foreheads together. “You are _not_ going to lose me. We have been through way too much shit for the universe to fuck us over now, okay? You literally died, there isn’t much more we can go through. We are going to kick the Galra off our planet, ensure that Sendak _stays dead_ this time, and then we are going to live. Okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Keith,” Shiro kisses him, heedless of their audience of Iverson, and Keith wraps his arms around Shiro’s neck, running his fingers through his hair gently.

“We’re gonna be okay, Takashi. I promise.”

Shiro takes a shaky breath and looks at him again. “Okay.”

“Hold on a minute!” Iverson shouts and both of them jump. “You two… when did the two of you…?”

Iverson is pointing between them, mouth agape, and Keith grins wickedly, looking up at Shiro.

“Please let me tell him.”

Shiro laughs quietly and shakes his head. “Keith,”

“Oh, I’m totally telling him.” He turns to Iverson. “We started dating the summer before he left for Kerberos!” Keith says cheerfully.

Iverson gapes. “You, _what!?”_

“Yep. We weren’t exactly subtle.” Keith shrugs.

“I, I let you two room together!” Iverson accuses.

“Yeah, I know, it was great!”

“Keith,” Shiro chides gently.

“I’m sorry, it’s just too much fun.”

Iverson is still gaping at them, and Keith feels like this one interaction has done more to make up for the Commander being an ass than anything ever will.

“I, it’s time for our debriefing.” Iverson sputters, then quickly exits the room.

“Well I feel vindicated.” Keith sighs, and tugs Shiro out after the Commander.

~*~

He and Shiro are the last to arrive. When Commander Holt spots them, he salutes and smiles at Shiro. “Welcome, Commander Shirogane.”

Shiro freezes. “What?”

“Wartime promotion.” A cool female voice says behind them. Keith turns and glares. Admiral Sanda. Ugh, he’d never liked her.

Shiro is directed to a seat just to Sam’s left, and Keith sits next to him, hand gripping his thigh tightly in support. They listen to Sam explain what’s been going on for the past three years (eesh) and what their operations look like now.

Hunk wants to bring more people in. to find his family, but it seems it just can’t be done.

Hunk’s protests seem to piss James off (goody two-shoes that he is), and he goes off on Hunk, much to Keith’s ire. “Hey, do Paladins not understand the chain of command!? Your CO said it was too dangerous!”

Hunk, surprisingly, yells right back. “ _My_ CO is sitting right _here_ ,” He hooks a thumb at Keith, “And he hasn’t said anything yet!”

Keith is oddly touched and feels vaguely smug at James’s shocked look.

“Officer Griffin, that is enough!” Sam cuts them off, and things continue, but Keith reaches up and squeezes Hunk’s shoulder.

Soon after, they’re taken down to see the MFE fighters, which are pretty cool, but Keith still prefers the lions. The Atlas is also very impressive. Then Admiral Sanda has the _gall_ to suggest they turn over the lions, and Keith comes very, very close to punching _her_ in the face. Thankfully, Lance knows him well and has the sense enough to hold him back while Allura and Shiro tell her to fuck off in very polite terms.

Shiro goes off to look at the Atlas with Coran and Sam, so Keith is left to his own devices for a while. He ends up finding a very angry Hunk.

“Is everything okay in here?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah,” Hunk sighs, wiping oil off his face.

Keith sighs and leans against the doorframe. “Look, I’m not really good at talking with people, as you know, but, well… I don’t expect you to open up to me, but, if there’s ever anything on your mind-”

“This situation stinks!” Hunk shouts, and Keith blinks in surprise. “I can’t believe we finally get back to Earth and it’s taken over by Galra!”

“I guess there is something on your mind.” Keith walks into the room and stands next to the Yellow Paladin.

“I know, I know it’s stupid, but I used to daydream about coming home to a peaceful Earth. And that would have been great. But I realized that nothing… nothing would have been greater than seeing my family. But I can’t.” The big man drops his head, clenched fists shaking on the countertop. “And all I keep thinking about is that, I wasn’t there for them. And I don’t even know if they’re okay. And I see Pidge and Lance with their families and, I, I mean I’m happy for them I am, but it just… it makes me miss my family more. I, I just, I’ve never felt so alone and scared.”

Keith watches Hunk for a long minute before speaking. “Look, Hunk, I never told you this, but of all the paladins, you’re the one I’m most impressed by.”

Hunk looks up at him.

“It’s no secret that you’ve always been the most scared, but, you’ve never backed down. _Never_. And to be brave is to go on in spite of fear, and that’s who you are, Hunk. I know you’re scared, but your family, they need you to be strong right now.”

Hunk looks at him for a long time. “Keith, I’m going to hug you.” He says quietly.

Keith smiles a little. Hunk had always been the one to remember his touch aversion, even in the beginning. “Okay.”

Hunk squeezes him so tight he actually lifts Keith off his feet. Keith laughs and pats his back. “Like you said to me before, you don’t have to be scared, because there are a lot of people here who love you.”

“Like you?” Hunk asks quietly.

“Like me.”

“Thanks, Keith. You are the best CO a guy could ever ask for.”

Keith shrugs and smiles. “Eh, I still think Shiro’s better, but thanks.”

Hunk sets Keith down and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?”

Hunk turns, looking determined. “I’m going to get my family.”

Keith smirks. “Not without me.”

~*~

They change back into their paladin armor (Keith had felt really, really weird in a cadet’s uniform again) and sneak down to the rovers, where they are caught by Lance’s sister Veronica and… James. Son of a bitch. But instead of stopping them, they come with.

“So you’re Keith? Lance never shut up about you before.” Veronica says as they make their way through the city ruins. “Always going on about _perfect hot-shot Keith_ and his _stupid mullet hair_.”

“What was it with him and my hair?” Keith mutters.

Veronica looks over and smiles at him. “He still talks about you, but now it’s all about how you’re a fantastic leader and how you’re one of his best friends ‘in the whole universe’. You of course being the other one, Hunk.”

Hunk shrugs.

Keith smiles and crosses his arms. “Yeah, Lance and I… we’ve been on a bit of a journey. In the beginning, it was pretty bad, but now… I trust him. I trust all the paladins with my life.”

Hunk is staring at him in quiet shock. “Keith,”

Keith shrugs. “I do.”

Hunk hugs him again, and Keith doesn’t mind at all. He doesn’t notice James looking at him in shock, but for the moment, it’s not important.

~*~

They can’t get to Hunk’s family. It kills Keith to watch his friend go through this, but there is no way they could get in and out with his family without being captured, even if they used the wolf.

Keith feels awful their entire trip back, but, Hunk thanks him.

“For what?” he asks, surprised.

“For being willing to try.” Hunk tells him and hugs him again.

When they get back, he finds the room Iverson had assigned to him and Shiro (their old room, ironically, and Iverson’s exasperated look indicated he’d done it on purpose) and finds Shiro sitting on the bed, staring at his lap. The wolf is curled into a ball on the floor by Shiro’s feet, fast asleep.

“Something wrong?” He asks, closing the door and crossing to the bed.

Shiro shakes his head slowly, and Keith sits next to him. “Allura… she’s making me a new arm.”

Keith’s eyes widen. “Wow. And, you’re not happy about that?”

“I, I’m not sure.” Shiro says, looking up at him. “I _hated_ the last one. It was a weapon that killed so many people, that almost killed _you_ , and god, Keith, you know that was one of my biggest fears,” Shiro reaches up to thumb over the scar on his cheek.

“I know,” He says quietly, taking Shiro’s hand and turning his head to kiss the palm. “But Shiro, this won’t be like before. This isn’t a Galra-designed, Druid-installed weapon. This will be something designed by a friend. And I am _sure_ that if you ask, Allura will take your input and make it what you want. This doesn’t have to be something else you’re afraid of, Takashi. This can be a good thing. This can be something you can _control_.”

Shiro takes a shaky breath and nods slowly. “Okay.” They strip and crawl under the covers, and touch each other for a long time, kissing languidly. It’s the first time they’ve been truly alone since Shiro was revived, but god, they’re both exhausted.

“It’s gonna have to wait a little longer, huh?” Keith asks quietly.

“I’m afraid so.” Shiro says, then yawns.

“Okay.” Keith tucks himself closer to Shiro’s chest. “I can wait, as long as I have you with me.”

“Always, baby.” Shiro whispers, and then they fall asleep.

~*~

Keith watches anxiously outside the operating theatre as Sam and some other doctors and engineers re-fit the port on Shiro’s shoulder to accommodate his new prosthetic. He sees Shiro awaken and test the new arm, which is floating and not actually connected to Shiro’s body and Keith’s not gonna lie, it’s a little freaky to see.

But then Shiro has some sort of attack, and Hunk and Lance have to restrain him from darting into the room. Besides, Allura beats him to it, running in and tackling the arm to the ground, replacing the old power source with… with…

Keith’s eyes go wide and he looks down at the gold circlet on the floor. She’s using the tiny piece of crystal that was in her tiara to power Shiro’s arm.

Keith shakes loose and runs into the room just as Shiro’s vitals return to normal, and the man returns to consciousness.

“Wh, what happened?” Shiro croaks. “I feel, strange.” He looks down, and the fingers of the floaty arm curl into a fist. “I feel _great_.”

Keith sags and braces himself on the end of Shiro’s cot. “ _Stop doing that_.” He hisses.

Shiro laughs weakly, and Keith jolts as cool metal cups his cheek. Keith looks up to see Shiro still leaning back against the cot, but the prosthetic is hovering right by his face. Huh.

“Sorry, baby.”

“You’d better be.” Keith mutters, cradling Shiro’s new hand in one of his own. Shiro gasps, eyes widening, and looks at Allura.

“I, I can feel…”

The princess smiles. “Yes, you should be able to feel almost as well with the new prosthetic as you can with your flesh hand.”

Keith perks at this revelation and turns his head to kiss Shiro’s metal palm. “I like that feature. That is a good feature.”

Shiro laughs and the prosthetic releases his face to curl in his collar, and he is tugged forward until he’s leaning over Shiro.

“What, do you have a Keith fishing pole, now?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Apparently.” Shiro teases, then pulls him down further so he can kiss Keith.

~*~

Keith takes Shiro back to their room so he can change into his uniform, and while he does, he fiddles with Shiro’s new hand. It hovers in front of him and he plays with the fingers absently as Shiro finishes showering.

“I’m gonna need that in a minute,” Shiro says, amusement clear in his eyes as he leans against the doorway. Keith shrugs.

“Too bad. Mine now.”

“I thought all of me was already yours?”

Keith nods, “Exactly.”

Shiro laughs and walks over to him, resting his human hand on Keith’s shoulder. Keith frowns up at the glowing port on Shiro’s right shoulder, then down to the arm again.

“As cool as this is, isn’t it also a little inconvenient? How are you supposed to put any weight on it if it’s not actually attached to you?”

Shiro shrugs. “Allura already thought of that. Look,” The arm pulls back towards the shoulder port, and bright blue energy shoots out from it, attaching to the base of the arm and solidifying.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Neat.”

“I only need to do this when doing pushups. Or, something else.” He raises an eyebrow and Keith smirks.

“As much as I’d love to test that out right now, we do have a debriefing.”

Shiro sighs and the tangible energy vanishes, leaving his arm free-floating again. “I know.”

Keith stands and wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders, kissing him quickly. “Soon, superman. As soon as we kick the Galra off the planet, I’m locking us in here for a goddamn week.”

“I’m okay with that.” Shiro murmurs and drags him into another kiss.

~*~

Allura and Pidge share what they’d learned from Sendak’s memories, and it is decided that one of the weird Galra installations needs to be infiltrated. The Paladins and MFE pilots will be working together for the first time, and Keith’s not sure how he feels about it, especially since James is coming with him, Allura, and Pidge. Thankfully, the wolf is also coming, so if he’s a dick, Keith can just get the wolf to bite him or drop him off in Antarctica or something.

Crawling through the sewers is vastly unpleasant, but Keith deals. Once they get above ground again, they’re right outside the base.

“This is as close as we’re gonna get,” He says over comms. “Pidge and I are going in.”

“Negative, rout’s obstructed, it’s too well guarded.” James hisses.

Keith gives the pilot a skeptical look. “Lance, you ready to cover us when we get inside?”

“Ready to go.”

Keith settles a hand between the wolf’s shoulders, gives James a little salute, then the wolf pops them inside.

“Good boy,” Keith murmurs, scratching the wolf under the chin, then he and Pidge start moving.

They sneak through the facility, using Lance’s updates and the wolf’s teleportation, they reach the central hub without being seen.

“I’m in. Downloading intel.” Pidge murmurs as she hacks the terminal.

“What, is this?” Keith whispers, looking up at the large structure in front of them. It makes him uneasy, and it looks… vaguely familiar…

Pidge chokes. “It’s a Xyforge canon. Each base must be building one.”

“What?” Keith hisses. Not good.

Lance calls them out and they blink back to where Allura and James are waiting. “Let’s move out.” Keith says, mouth set in a grim line. They book it back to the rovers, then back to the Garrison. The entire time. Keith’s hand is fisted in the wolf’s fur. Fuck, this is bad. Very, very bad.

They call a meeting immediately and Keith’s leg bounces uneasily the entire time they’re waiting for everyone to gather. Shiro arrives quickly and takes a seat next to him, metal hand resting on his thigh to still his agitated movements.

“Bad?” he asks quietly.

“Really bad.” Keith grits out, curling his fingers around Shiro’s wrist.

They tell the brass about the canons, and a plan formulates for each lion to take out a base, while the MFE fighters take out the sixth.

Before they head out, Shiro pulls him into a crushing hug. “Be careful, Keith.”

“You worry too much, superman.” Keith murmurs, burying his face into Shiro’s neck.

“Just as much as you worry about me.” Shiro says quietly. He pulls back and cups Keith’s face in his hands, kissing him gently. “Please, baby, please be safe.”

“I will be.” Keith promises. “As long as you promise the same.”

“Deal.”

~*~

Keith wanders out to the fighters and finds that, joy of joys, he’s riding with James. Ugh.

He climbs into the fighter and settles into the seat as James climbs into the pilot’s seat. They’re cleared for takeoff, and for a long time, the flight is silent.

“Hey, Kogane.”

Keith sighs. “What?”

“You,” James pauses for a moment. “You’ve really done all that stuff Commander Holt says? Liberated planets and fought the Galra and all that? And saved Commander Shirogane’s life?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Well, yeah.”

Again, James is quiet. “Your team, they really look up to you. And it seems like, like you’d do a lot for them. I know what that’s like.”

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the other paladins. Or for Shiro.” Keith says quietly.

James looks back at him. “You’ve changed a lot.”

Keith shrugs. “Not as much as you might think. I just needed the right people. The ones who don’t give up on me no matter what.”

“I’m sorry.” James says quietly. “About, all the stupid shit I said and did to you back in the Garrison. It was really fucked up, some of what I said, and you really didn’t deserve it, even if you were a pain in the ass. I was jealous of you. Of how good you were and how much attention you got from Shiro. But I’d like to think I’m mature enough now to know how messed up it all was, so, I’m sorry.”

Keith is quiet for a long minute. “Well, thanks. I’m sorry for beating the shit out of you every time you picked a fight.”

James barks a laugh. “You always were blunt.”

“That has _definitely_ not changed. Just ask Shiro.”

James looks back at him again. “Make it through this in one piece, Kogane. When you finish saving the world, I’ll buy you a beer.”

Keith smirks. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Griffin.”

~*~

“We’re getting close.” James says an hour later. “If you’re gonna voodoo summon your ship, now’s the time.”

“Psychic magic, not voodoo.” Keith corrects, then closes his eyes. He feels for the thread in his chest that connects him to Black and tugs on it.

_Come to me_. He thinks.

There is quiet for a long moment, then a rumble in the back of his mind, the clearest thought he’s ever gotten from Black. _Foolish cub, I am already here_.

Keith’s eyes fly open and he looks up as Black soars over the fighter.

“Holy shit.” James mutters. “That thing is huge.”

“Yeah, she is.” Keith says fondly. “Drop me here.”

“Are you crazy? I need to find somewhere to land!”

“No, you don’t.” Keith waits as James grumbles something under his breath and opens the top. Keith unbuckles and claps the other pilot on the shoulder.

“See you on the other side.” He says, and jumps.

Black scoops him up in her mouth almost immediately and he darts up into the cockpit, sliding into the seat and gripping her controls. “Let’s do this.” He murmurs, and she roars.

He opens up a comm to the Garrison base. “Black Lion, checking in.”

“Green Lion, checking in.” Pidge says soon after.

“Yellow Lion, checking in.” Hunk says next.

“Blue Lion, checking in.” Allura says a moment later.

There is silence from Lance, until he shouts, and his line cuts out.

They wait in tense silence for several long, painful minutes, trying to reach their Red Paladin, before a long sigh is heard. “Red Lion, checking in!”

“Don’t scare us like that, you ass.” Keith growls.

“Sorry, man. Got shot at a bunch and Red was a drama queen and showed up at the last second.”

Keith sighs. “Yeah, she likes to do that.”

Then they all start attacking their respective bases, but something’s not right. The defenses are way too prepared. The Galra, they were somehow _expecting_ the attack. Keith grits his teeth as the bases open, and the canons launch. Shit.

“I can’t stop the launch!” Allura shouts.

“Me neither!” Hunk calls.

“How did this happen!?” Pidge demands.

“Sendak must have known we were coming, but how?” Keith grits out.

Allura groans over the comms. “We were too late! The canons have launched, and we’re exposed! Sendak knows we’re here with our lions!”

“What do we do now?” Lance asks.

Keith grits his teeth. “MFEs, return to the Garrison.”

“Roger that,” They all say at once.

“Paladins, we need to cut the head off the snake. Taking out Sendak is our last option. Everyone, converge!”

Keith turns Black up and breaks through the atmosphere, watching as the others do the same and meet up with him. As they get close, he orders the formation of Voltron, but as soon as they settle into the giant robot, they’re hammered with blasts from the canons and it breaks them back into lions. Then Keith passes out.

~*~

Someone in the command center calls up the feed from above the Earth, and it shows the lions floating dead in space as Sendak’s flagship pulls them in.

“No,” Shiro whispers.

“Where did those shots come from?” Sam gasps.

“The Xyforge cannons. Sendak was ready for the attack the entire time! How?” Coran says, staring at the screen where the lions are being pulled into the ship.

“Where is Admiral Sanda?” Sam asks, and Shiro’s jaw clenches, hands tightening into fists.

“Sir, she’s been gone since our mission briefing.”

Shiro knows the woman would do anything for Earth, but she knows nothing about the Galra. They do. And she hadn’t listened. Now the entire planet is in even worse danger.

“Paladins, are you there?” He tries, because maybe the lions are just offline? Maybe he can still talk to them, still plan. Maybe he can still _do something_. “Paladins, do you copy? Keith? Anyone?”

There is only static. Shiro turns to Sam.

“Commander Holt, what weapons do we have available?”

Sam frowns. “Fusion canons, but that fleet is out of range.”

“What about the MFEs?”

“The mission depleted their power. They’re recharging now.”

“Shiro,” Coran interjects, “Even with the MFEs, Sendak has an entire fleet.”

“We need to get them back! We have to do something!” Shiro snaps. God, he hates being stuck here on the ground. “What about the Atlas?”

“We’ve had zero success launching it.” Sam says regretfully.

Shiro narrows his eyes. “Veronica, monitor the fleet. Let us know of any changes.”

“Yes, sir!”

Shiro turns back to Coran and Sam. “Come on, let’s get that ship off the ground.”

He hustles them into the Atlas and has Coran trying everything he can think of to power the massive ship. To no avail.

They learn that the Xyforge canons are headed right to them, but there’s no way the particle barrier would withstand them. Then Coran gets the idea to use the power from the particle barrier to power the ship. The barrier will be obsolete soon anyway. So Sam orders everyone aboard the Atlas.

James contacts him and tells him the ships are almost charged, and Shiro informs them they’re gonna be the only defense for a little while until they get the Atlas off the ground.

A little while later, they have everyone aboard, and they try to power the Atlas, but it still doesn’t work. The ship needs even more power than the shield generator can give them.

Then, suddenly, Coran remembers the diamond that the exploding castle left behind, and it’s around his neck.

They plug it into the central power source, and the ship is ready to go in seconds.

Shiro turns and places his hands on the central console. “Veronica, monitor the radars. Let us know what you see. Commander Iverson, I need you on weapons, and Coran, get the helm.”

_Hang on Keith, we’re coming to get you all_.

Coran salutes him. “Yes, Captain.”

Shiro pauses at the title. He looks around at the others, and finally to Sam, who’s smiling at him.

“The bridge is yours, Shiro.”

Shiro huffs a breath, smiling a little. “We could use an engineer.”

Sam salutes him as well. “Yes, sir.”

“Captain, the Galra fleet is directly over the launch pad.” Veronica says.

Shiro is shocked at how quickly everyone picks up on the title but shakes it off. He has some Paladins to save.

“MFE squadron, we need you to clear a path! The Atlas is powered and ready for launch.”

They finally, _finally_ manage to get airborne and even destroy a cruiser. With one shot. Shiro will count it as a win.

~*~

Keith wakes briefly, and hears Admiral Sanda arguing with Sendak. So she did sell them out, and expected to just take them, leave Sendak the lions, and walk away. She knows _nothing_ of the Galra if she expected Sendak to keep his word. Keith’s definitely going to punch her if he gets the chance.

He wakes again later in a cell. Alone this time. God, he misses being Ezor and Zethrid’s prisoners. At least they’d been together. He stands and bangs on the door.

“Hello? Lance! Hunk! Pidge! Allura!”

He discovers his bayard isn’t working at that agitates him. Now what?

“I’m here.” Lance says weakly, and Keith sags in relief.

“Yeah, me too.” Hunk groans. “How long’ve we been out?”

“It looks like we’ve lost about an hour.” Pidge says quietly.

“What happened?” Allura asks.

Reassured that everyone is okay and nearby, Keith sinks to the floor and leans on a wall. “We’re on Sendak’s ship. Admiral Sanda… she sold us out.”

“How could she?” Pidge spits.

“He said he’d leave Earth if he had the lions, but he lied to me.” A voice says from the next cell, and Keith turns to hear better. “This is all my fault. I wanted to protect my people, but now I’ve doomed them. I’ve doomed them all. I’m so sorry.”

“Yep, you really did.” Keith says drily. “We tried to tell you. You can’t bargain with the Galra. They will always, _always_ double-cross you. If you’d listened to those of us who actually know what we’re talking about, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” He sighs. “But maybe you can help now. Do you know what Sendak’s plan is?”

The summary is, he’s going to vaporize Earth. Keith is not surprised.

“Please, you must know, I wanted to _save_ Earth.” The Admiral begs.

“Then you should have listened.” Keith says. “Instead you let your pride endanger everyone you’re supposed to be protecting. Say what you want about Sam and Iverson defying your orders, when all is said and done, _you’re_ the one who’s going to end up on trial.”

“I know.”

Keith sighs and stands, walking back over to the door. “Pidge, ideas?”

“Working on it.”

Soon enough, the ship rocks with a nearby explosion.

“What was that?” Lance shouts.

“The Garrison is mounting a counterattack.” Keith guesses.

“My dad, he launched the Atlas!” Pidge crows. But even Sam couldn’t have managed that alone.

“Way to go, superman.” Keith murmurs, smiling. The ship shakes again, and Keith groans. “We need to get out there. The Atlas can’t win this fight alone.”

Then Hunk brings up the possibility of summoning the lions like they did on Earth and Keith thinks, fuck it, it’s worth a shot.

They then proceed to _astral project into the lions_. Which is very cool.

The lions bust out and start wrecking shit, and Shiro laughs over the comm. “Paladins! Welcome to the fight! Let’s go take out Sendak’s cruiser.”

“Wait!” Pidge says quickly. “We’re still on that ship! Well, our bodies are.”

“Astral projection for the win, bitch.” Keith mutters.

Shiro laughs again. “Amazing. We got ourselves some breathing room! Let’s make it count.”

Keith sends Black hurtling through the ship, breaking through the hallway they’re all trapped in so the doors will loosen, then tugs himself out of Black. The door falls before he even stands, and he runs out into the hall, trying to see if he needs to help the others. Then he spots Sanda on the floor along with a bunch of dead sentries. They’d been coming to kill them, and she’d bought them time. Keith doesn’t think it’s near enough to make up for her treachery, but he supposes it’s a damn good start.

He drops to his knees next to her, pulling her up a bit and realizes that she’s not making it off the ship alive. “Admiral,”

“Do what I couldn’t.” She says weakly. “Save Earth.” Then she exhales for the last time. Keith sets her down and stands, looking down at the open sky.

“We will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next comes battles and Shiro being badass and the Paladins sort of blowing up but they're fine! See you next week!
> 
> I'm coming home  
> I'm coming home  
> Tell the world I'm coming home  
> Let the rain wash away  
> All the pain of yesterday  
> I know my kingdom awaits  
> And they've forgiven my mistakes  
> I'm coming home  
> I'm coming home  
> Tell the world I'm coming  
> \- Coming Home, Part II, Skylar Grey


	39. Superhero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes the end of S7. With unnecessary Altean-powered battle robot fight, the Atlas (and its Captain) being a BAMF, and angst galore as the paladins almost blow up.

They form Voltron immediately, because god knows they’re gonna need it. They hover next to the Atlas as it rises past Earth’s atmosphere, and Keith hears Shiro’s relieved exhale over the comm.

“Welcome back to the fight, Paladins.”

“Good to be back.” Keith says fondly.

“You’re okay? Everyone’s okay?” Shiro asks.

“All good here.”

“Thank god.” Shiro mutters.

And that’s when they get bombarded.

Voltron takes out a shit-ton of fighters that try to make their way to the Atlas, but the Atlas does its fair share of damage too. Keith is impressed. When they’re done saving Earth, he’s getting Shiro to give him a tour.

Shiro checks in with Sam about the Xyforge cannons, and the news is not good. If the canons finish converging, their combined beams will literally vaporize the Earth. So they go after Sendak with a vengeance. Once he’s down, the canons will stop moving. At least that’s Keith’s best guess.

But of course, they get attacked. The bases the canons launched from are designed to protect them after launch, so they really need to be taken out, but Shiro assures then he can send the MFEs to do it. Even with that cushion, they still can’t get to Sendak before the canons converge, so Voltron breaks up and they all go get the reflective disks that redirect the beams to hopefully direct them away from Earth.

Keith grits his teeth and hopes Shiro and the rest of the Atlas crew can hold out in the meantime.

~*~

Shiro and the rest of the Atlas crew are getting hammered. The shielding system won’t come on for the longest time, and while it’s on the fritz, Sendak’s forces nail them with everything they’ve got. The MFEs are on their way to the last base, and Voltron is working on holding off the canons’ beams, but they’re all feeling the pressure. Finally, the shields come online right before they’d be destroyed.

Shiro breathes a sigh of relief. “How much time before the Xyforge canons fire?”

“Any second now!” Sam says fretfully. Shiro watches closely as the lions make it just in the nick of time with the shielding plates and he lets out a shaky breath.

“The lions have the plates in position, but those plates were designed to reflect a short burst.” Sam informs him. “They won’t hold for long under the pressure of a sustained blast.”

“Then we need to take out Sendak now.” Shiro grits out.

But the Atlas can’t get anywhere near the ship. But maybe Shiro can. He makes sure the line to Voltron is muted. Keith would _not_ be happy if he heard about this.

“Sam, what if someone were to infiltrate Sendak’s ship and gain access to its crystal? Could the canons be disrupted?”

“Infiltrate Sendak’s ship?” Sam asks incredulously.

“Would it work?” Shiro snaps.

“It could work, but you’d need a communication device to link to the Atlas so we can hack their system.”

Well, Shiro thinks he’s got that covered. He clenches the fingers of his new hand. “Then that’s what we’ll do. I’m going in. Coran, the ship is yours. Get the Atlas to the impact site. We need to be prepared for every outcome.”

“Keith is not going to like this.” Coran points out.

Shiro smiles wryly. “I know, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Shiro changes into a space suit and jettisons himself from the ship, dodging through debris to reach the large, ornate battle cruiser that Sendak is inhabiting.

“Atlas, what’s happening?” Keith shouts over the comm.

“Hold a little longer! We have a plan!” Coran tells him, thankfully leaving out what the plan is.

“Whatever it is, we’re running out of time.” Keith grits.

“Hang in there, baby.” He murmurs, before letting the Atlas know he’s arrived. He fights his way through the ship (and in a weird way it almost feels _good_ to be able to punch holes through sentries again, he hated feeling so useless before) and reaches the crystal as Coran informs him the paladins can’t be reached.

 _Hold on, Keith_. He thinks as he approaches the glowing purple thing in the middle of the room. Huh, looks familiar.

“Sam, I’ve made it to the crystal. Activating communication transponder.”

“Okay, Shiro, I have to warn you, this might be a little strange. I’m about to use your brain as a computer node.”

“Well, wouldn’t be the first time.” Shiro mutters and places his prosthetic against the glowing crystal. Suddenly, purple electricity arcs between the end of the prosthetic and his shoulder port, causing him to cry out and nearly fall over from the sudden, shocking pain. Still, not the worst he’s ever felt. Fighting Keith had caused far more pain than this.

Suddenly, the power is too much, and the crystal explodes, sending Shiro crashing to the floor. He groans weakly, and might even black out for a moment, but soon he’s pushing himself up.

“Well, that worked.” He mumbles, rubbing at the back of his head. Then he books it out of the room before anyone comes looking.

~*~

The plates buckle beneath the pressure, and all Keith and the others can do is watch as the beams converge and head towards Earth… only to be stopped by the appearance of the Atlas. Their lions are temporarily offline so all they can do for several long moments is watch.

Slowly, they all come back online, and whatever the Atlas had done had left one canon destroyed and the others faltering. They quickly take them all out before the Atlas’s shields fail.

“The only hostile remaining is Sendak’s ship.” Veronica informs them over the comm. “It’s free-falling towards Earth’s surface. It’s already hit terminal velocity.”

“Shiro’s still in there!” Sam yells.

Keith freezes. “He _what!?”_

“Oh, I knew that wouldn’t go well.” Coran mumbles.

“Paladins, we have to stop that ship! Slow it down and guide it away from populated areas! Move!” Keith orders, and books it towards the falling ship. Sendak is going down, no question, but there is no way in hell he’s taking Shiro with him.

~*~

Shiro shoulders open a panel to the hull of the ship and watches as it descends into Earth’s atmosphere. He runs down the length of it, hoping to find somewhere safe to ride out the crash, but then…

“ _You!”_

Shiro turns.

Sendak.

Shiro clenches his jaw and his hands tighten into fists. Now _this_ is a rematch he’s been looking forward to.

This time, Sendak doesn’t take him out in a few hits, or by using someone against him. This time, Shiro can give as good as he gets. He got an upgrade too, motherfucker, and he plans to _use it_.

The ship slows a little as they get closer to Earth, but the two of them hardly notice, still going at each other. Finally, the ship shakes so violently they’re forced to hold on to something or be thrown off. Then they crash.

Shiro wakes slowly, head spinning and body aching everywhere, but he’s alive.

Apparently, so is Sendak. The soldier stands out of the smoke and walks towards him slowly.

“Victory, or death.” He hisses and raises his arm to aim at Shiro.

Shiro can’t move. Can’t get away. He stares Sendak down. If he’s dying, he’s going to look the bastard in the eye.

But before Sendak fires, the Black Lion roars and lands behind the Galra officer, and Keith launches himself out of the lion’s mouth with a shout of pure rage, bayard arcing down and slicing clean through Sendak’s middle.

The Black Paladin lands in a crouch and whirls towards Sendak, but there’s no need. The Galra Commander collapses to his knees, and then onto his front, finally dead.

Keith pants raggedly as he dispels his bayard, then turns and crouches down next to Shiro, helping him sit up slowly.

“Thank you,” Shiro murmurs, and leans his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“As many times as it takes, remember?” Keith murmurs, and presses a kiss to the top of his head.

Shiro smiles weakly and closes his eyes. “I remember, sweetheart.”

“Well, good.” Keith mutters. “Now when were you gonna tell me about infiltrating Sendak’s ship, _alone?”_

Shiro laughs weakly.

The other lions hover around them then, and Keith helps Shiro to his feet, slinging his human arm over his shoulders.

“Nice going.” Shiro murmurs.

“You too, superman.”

Their relief is short lived as something large enters Earth’s atmosphere, not far away from their location.

And whatever it is, it’s Galra made.

~*~

“No!” Allura shouts over the comms and Keith grits his teeth, tightening his grip on Shiro.

“Paladins, brace for impact! Hunk, help me with Shiro.”

He hands his boyfriend off to the other man and braces as the thing lands. He sees Yellow scoop up Shiro and Hunk, so he darts into Black as she turns, having shielded him from the shockwave.

“Hunk, get Shiro to the Atlas. We’ll cover you.”

“Got it.”

Keith turns his attention to the newest threat and realizes that it looks an unnerving amount like Lotor’s Dark Voltron. It’s not, but Keith can see the similarities.

“This is going to be a fucking nightmare.” He mutters.

As usual, he’s right.

~*~

Shiro feels the Atlas shake around him as it gets hammered by that… _thing_ and knows the lions must be having a very rough time. He grits his teeth and swings his legs off the medical cot.

“I need to get back,” He growls.

“But, Commander,” A med-tech says. Shiro brushes them off.

He runs up to the bridge and takes his position at the center console again. He may not be a part of Voltron anymore, but they are still _his_ , and he will protect them. Protect Keith.

~*~

They get the Atlas to hold the thing off while they form Voltron, but even Voltron has a hard time dealing with the thing.

The thing separates its double-sided scythe into twin blades which worries him for a minute before discovering, hey! Voltron can do that too! That might have been nice to know during their fight with _Lotor_ , but whatever.

They fight the thing on even footing for a while, but as usual, they don’t keep that up for too long before the enemy pulls some other dirty trick.

Those swords the thing has? Yeah, they apparently work like the Kohmar and zap their quintessence away.

Shiro must see them in trouble and decide to send out the MFEs, because they fly out and attack the thing a few moments later. Pidge unleashes a new forearm canon and shoots the thing in the face, which releases them from its hold. The MFEs continue to lay down covering fire while Voltron tries to recuperate. Damn that was, bad.

“Paladins, what happened? Are you okay?” Shiro asks.

They get to tell Shiro about the Kohmar like blades, and Keith knows that’s gonna make Shiro unhappy.

Keith sighs raggedly and opens up a channel with the MFEs. “Pilots, fall back. Those blasts can vaporize you.”

“Keith’s right. You’ve successfully drawn its fire. Rendezvous with the Atlas ASAP.” Shiro says.

“Roger that.” James grits out. The MFEs fall back, and the thing turns to them again. The Atlas’s canons push it back, but now _they’re_ the target and Keith can’t have that. Not only is Shiro on board, but so are a shit-ton of civilians.

They attack it again with the twin swords, hoping to draw the Kohmar-like beam away from the Atlas, and it works, but they’re having a hard time avoiding it and the draining blades. They almost land on the labor camp where Hunk’s parents are, so Keith pushes Voltron up, getting the thing to follow.

Pidge uses the arm canon again which is cool but is also _deflected and ends up hitting the Atlas_. Then while they’re distracted, they’re stabbed again and forced back to the ground, as the thing saps even more of their energy than it had before. They’re in a lot of trouble and Keith can’t see a way out. They need help, but the Atlas is too damaged. Shit. _Shit_.

~*~

Shiro watches, helpless, as Voltron gets hit hard over and over, before being forced to the ground once more, energy being drained away. The Atlas has sustained a lot of damage and they’re waiting for everything to reboot, but it’s taking longer than he wants. Dammit, he has to do _something!_

He watches on the monitor as Voltron’s eye-lights flicker and finally go out.

 _“No.”_ He whispers raggedly.

The creature stands, turns, and fires on them again.

Everyone is shouting and alarms are blaring, but, something else catches Shiro’s attention. A gentle ringing, thrumming through the ship. Shiro blinks and suddenly sees lines of Altean-blue light outlining everything. Something rumbles in the back of his mind, almost like… like…

“Bring us up.” He says firmly. “Set coordinates for upper atmosphere.”

“But Voltron!” Coran protests.

“Commander Holt, I need all the power we’ve got.” Shiro orders.

Shiro feels the crystal in his arm singing, resonating with the ship. Deep below he can feel the crystal pulsing gently, almost like a heartbeat. He closes his eyes. And everything _glows_.

He opens his eyes again. “Atlas crew, hold tight!”

The ship rumbles around them as it reconfigures itself, everything glowing blue and pulsing in time with the heartbeat of the crystal below, and the tiny one in his arm.

Atlas’s transformation finishes, and Shiro brings it _down_.

~*~

Keith groans weakly and sits up as much as he can. “Everyone, report in.”

The others chime in slowly, but none of them can move. It really is the Kohmar all over again.

The creature comes back to finish the job, and they can’t move at all. “Brace for it,” Keith growls.

Suddenly, everything begins shaking, and it goes dark. Keith looks up to see something _huge_ coming down towards them, blocking the sun, and it comes down with a vengeance, nearly punching the creature flat against the ground.

Keith gapes up at it. It’s… it’s the _Atlas_. But, not. It’s a giant fucking robot, and it’s very, very pissed.

Probably because it has Shiro at the helm.

It’s also mega-powerful, shooting giant lasers at the creature, who can dart out of the way because as big as the new Atlas mech is, it’s slow. But damn does it pack a punch.

“Is that the Atlas?” Lance croaks.

Keith smirks.

“Paladins, are you there?” Shiro calls. “What’s your status?”

“We’re here!” Keith laughs. “Jesus Christ, superman. That was one hell of an entrance. How did you…?”

“I’m not exactly sure. But we’ve got you covered.”

“I can see that.” Keith says, still staring up at the _massive_ robot.

Then he sees the Atlas – or is it just Atlas, like they’re just Voltron? Something to figure out later – block one of the Kohmar beams with _just it’s fucking hand_. That’s pretty fucking cool.

But then the thing astral projects itself to be bigger and Atlas still has a hard time as the thing drains _it_ , so they’ve gotta move.

“We’ve got to do something! It’s going to destroy the Atlas!” Lance shouts.

Keith watches it gear up to fire again, and it clicks.

“That’s it. It’s the only place on that thing that isn’t armored. We have to strike there right before it fires!”

“That’s a split-second window.” Allura points out. “How do we do that?”

“My bayard…” Lance says quietly, and that’s good enough for Keith.

“Team, we’ve got one chance. Give it everything you’ve got! Lance!”

He and Lance both use their bayards to summon the super wings again, and rocket towards the thing, sword poised to take it out. The blade pierces right through the firing port a second later.

It explodes, and everything goes white. When Keith can see again, they’re back to individual lions. They all check in before Keith calls the Atlas.

“Atlas, what’s your status?” He turns Black so he can look up at the giant mech, still hunched over. “Atlas, can you hear me?”

Silence.

Keith grunts. “They’re offline.”

Then they realize it isn’t over yet. The creature has a bomb inside it, one that could wipe out the Northern Hemisphere if it went off.

Keith takes a deep breath. “Then we need to get it out of here.”

They all get up under the thing and lift off, carrying it out of the atmosphere. The beeping from it is getting louder, more rapid, and Keith has a sudden realization: they’re not going to escape the blast radius in time. This… this could very well be their end.

 _Shiro_. Keith swallows and keeps pressing forward. He’ll know.

“It’s been an honor to fly with you all.” Keith says quietly. “Now everyone, give it everything you got!”

They get it to a safe distance and turn, but Keith hears the explosion before they get to far. He feels the rumble of the shockwave approach him and looks out the viewscreen, seeing everyone else in front of him. He hopes they at least will be okay.

He closes his eyes, and his last thought is of Shiro.

~*~

Shiro watches the lions lift the creature in the air, Atlas’s sensors informing him of the incoming explosion.

Several long moments pass, and then they see a light in the sky as the thing explodes.

Shiro waits, holding his breath. They all do.

And then the lions fall.

Five streaks of glowing light plummet towards the Earth with no sign of slowing down.

“Paladins!” Shiro calls. “Can you here me? You need to decrease your speed! Paladins! _Keith!_ ”

Static greets him.

“ _No!”_

He watches four of the lions disappear. The fifth, the biggest, _Black_ , lands nearby, back towards the Garrison.

Shiro collapses to his knees, staring at the screen as it blinks, the global map showing the locations of all five crash sites.

“No, no no no.” Shiro whispers.

They can’t be dead. They can’t be! _Keith_ can’t be!

“Shiro,” Coran says brokenly, and Shiro opens his eyes.

“MFEs, status?”

“Fully… fully charged, Captain.” James says quietly.

“Good. I need you and the others to go out and find the paladins. Bring them to the Garrison for medical treatment. The lions are stubborn and won’t want to let strangers in when their paladins are hurt, but let them know you’re there to help and they should let you in. We are not losing our people now.” He says lowly.

“Yes, sir.” James says, “But, there are only four of us, and five lions. How do we…?”

“You go after the body paladins.” Shiro says, standing and glaring at the purple dot on the screen. “I’m going after the Black Paladin myself.”

A moment of silence. “Yes, sir.”

“You’ll need an extra set of hands per paladin.” Shiro says. “Coran, Veronica, Sam, Iverson, report to the MFE hanger and assist in the extraction.”

He gets a shaky “yes, sir” from Veronica, Sam and Coran, and a grim one from Iverson, before they hurry out of the room.

He orders the Atlas down and heads for an exit, fire in his eyes.

“Sir, will you need help?” Someone asks.

“I got this.” He growls, and exits the mech.

~*~

Iverson rides with Leifsdottir towards the Yellow Lion, but by the time they get there, two people are already trying to get inside.

“Please, stand back, we can handle this,” The Commander starts, and the woman turns to him with eyes blazing, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“My _son_ is in there.” She snarls. Iverson holds up his hands in a gesture of peace.

“My apologies, ma’am.”

They all work together to get the hatch open, and the first one to drop down inside is the large man who must be Garrett’s father.

“Hunk?” The man calls. “Hunk, it’s Dad! Come on, son, answer me!”

They work their way into the cockpit to find Garrett slumped against the console, unconscious and bleeding from some cuts.

Leifsdottir’s eyes dart back and forth across the Yellow Paladin’s form for a moment. “Severe bruising to the ribs. Minor cranial trauma. Possible broken arm. Overall, damage relatively minor.”

“Oh thank _goodness_ ,” Mrs. Garrett sobs, reaching forwards and gently tugging off the paladin’s helmet, smoothing back the boy’s hair.

“Cone on,” Iverson says, stepping forward. “Let’s get your boy out of here.”

~*~

Veronica keeps her eyes closed on the way to the Red Lion. She’s praying. She’s not sure to what, but really, anything that can hear her is welcome. She can’t go back to their mother and tell her Lance didn’t survive. She can’t. She can’t face the thought of losing her annoying, loud, energetic little brother. It can’t happen. So she prays.

“Veronica, we’re here.” James says quietly.

They land and Veronica hops out, running up to the Red Lion.

“I,” She pauses, feeling strange talking to a _robot_ , but the paladins and the Commanders had all said the lions were much more than that. That they were practically _alive_ , and very, very protective of their paladins. Veronica knows what that’s like.

“I’m his sister. I need to get to him. Open, please.”

The lion is still for several moments, before it rumbles quietly, and its mouth opens, just barely enough for them to squeeze inside. She and James crawl up into the cockpit to find Lance slumped sideways in his chair, helmet cracked and a cut on his forehead bleeding profusely, but otherwise Veronica sees no external damage.

“Lance, can you hear me?” She asks, easing off the helmet.

“Vee?” Lance says weakly, eyelids fluttering.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

Lance mutters something in Spanish about space cows, then passes out.

Veronica laughs weakly and pulls Lance against her. Yeah, he’s gonna be okay.

~*~

Coran wrings his hands as the human pilot, Kinkade, flies them out to the ocean. The Blue Lion is floating on the water’s surface and they land on its back.

“You know how these things work.” Kinkade says quietly, gesturing Coran forwards, “So I’ll follow your lead.”

Coran nods, and coaxes the lion open, dropping down into the cockpit and finding Allura slumped to one side, hair spilling out from under her helmet, but he sees no signs of damage.

“Coran?” She says weakly, opening her eyes.

“I have you, princess,” Coran says, relieved. “You’re going to be alright.”

“The others, I couldn’t… I shielded myself with my magic, but I couldn’t reach them. Are they…?”

Coran shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

Allura heaves a shuddering sigh and closes her eyes, falling unconscious.

“I’ll help carry her.” Kinkade says, and Coran nods, helping the human lift her out of the lion.

“Everything will be fine, Allura.” He says quietly. “I promise.”

~*~

Sam looks out the window of the MFE as it descends into the forest where Katie crashed. Rizavi is, for once, very subdued. “We’re here, Commander.”

Sam nods and climbs out of the ship when it stills.

He approaches the Green Lion slowly, Rizavi following behind, but before Sam gets all the way to it, its mouth opens. Sam wonders vaguely if it recognizes him but that’s a thought to explore later. Right now, he needs to get to his daughter.

He climbs up into the cockpit and finds Katie half spilled out of her chair, neck craned at an awkward angle, but not a deadly one. Her helmet is lying on the floor and her breathing sounds off. Cracked rib, maybe even broken. And she’s bleeding from a bump to the back of the head, but headwounds always bleed a lot. He’s more worried about a possible concussion.

But she’s alive, and that’s all he really needs right now. He drops to his knees and pulls his baby girl into his lap, cradling her against him. He bets she’s the worst off, being the smallest, and if that’s the case, then all the paladins will be just fine.

“Come on, Katie, let’s get you home.” He whispers, then stands and walks out of the Green Lion.

~*~

Shiro takes a rover.

It takes him about fifteen minutes to get from the Atlas to the crashed form of the Black Lion. He’s on edge and shaking the entire time.

When he arrives, a few Garrison officers are trying to pry the lion’s mouth open, but they all stop and salute when he approaches.

“Commander Shirogane! We’ve been trying to get inside to reach the Black Paladin but have so far been unsuccessful.”

“I’ll handle it. Get to the medical wing and prep five rooms for the Paladins. The MFEs are bringing the other four.” He has no idea how he manages to keep his voice steady, but he does.

“Yes, sir!”

The officers hurry off and Shiro slumps, letting out a shaky breath before approaching Black. He stares up at her for a long moment before placing his human hand against her muzzle.

“I know I’m not yours anymore,” He says quietly, “But even if our connection is gone, you _know me_. You know every part of me. And that means you know there is _nothing_ I would not do for him. So let. Me. In.”

She does.

Shiro scrambles up into the Black Lion’s cockpit, heart clenching in his chest.

“Keith? Keith, baby, can you hear me? Keith!”

He comes around the chair to find it empty and his stomach drops out from under him. Now he knows how Keith felt to find it empty of him. But before he can really panic, he spots a red boot on the other side of the chair, and circles around to find Keith sprawled on the floor, helmet broken open.

“Keith,” Shiro breathes and drops to his knees, very carefully pulling the younger man into his lap.

“Baby? Can you hear me?”

Nothing. Keith’s breathing is very weak – almost non-existent. Blood is pooling in the helmet… and around his middle where something sharp and jagged has cut into his sternum. Upon closer examination, Shiro realizes it’s a _rib_.

Shiro pulls the helmet off as gently as he can manage to try and ease Keith’s breathing and cradles the younger man’s face in his hands.

“Keith, Keith please, we promised each other we’d live through this! Please, sweetheart, I can’t, I can’t lose you!”

Keith chokes out a bubbling cough, blood spilling from his lips to drip down his chin.

Then he stops breathing.

“Keith! _Keith!_ Please, please, I love you, you, you _can’t leave me!_ ” Shiro sobs.

He leans down and presses his lips to Keith, holding his nose and breathing into him. He doesn’t know if he should really risk chest compressions, but he does it anyway. He has to do _something_. He can’t lose Keith. Not now. Not ever.

“Stay with me, Keith,” Shiro gasps, ducking down to give him another breath.

Several long, tense, quiet moments follow as he repeats the motions over and over. Air. Compressions. Repeat.

“Please,” Shiro rasps. Please let him stay.

Another moment of silence follows, but then Keith starts coughing wetly, another drop of blood running down his cheek, but he’s breathing again and Shiro sags in relief, resting his forehead gently on the younger man’s chest.

“Thank you,” He chokes. “Thank you, _thank you_.”

A moment later, James arrives.

 “Captain!” The pilot drops down next to where Shiro is still hunched over Keith’s unmoving form, placing a hand on the Black Paladin’s shoulder.

 “He, shit, he looks bad, much worse than the others.”

“His rib,” Shiro chokes, and moves back so James can see. The pilot hisses.

“Fuck. We gotta get him inside.”

James helps him carry Keith to the rover, and they get him to the medical wing in short order. He’s the only one who needs surgery.

The others suffered much more minor injuries, but none of them are awake. Keith will be out for longer than any of them, the doctors tell him, because they need to keep him under to ensure his lung can heal from the rupture the broken rib had caused.

Shiro stays in the hospital, unmoving, right next to Keith’s bed for a straight week. Coran tries to get him to leave if only for a while, but he refuses. He doesn’t want to leave Keith alone. He’s always there when Shiro wakes up, he wants to make sure he’s there for his lover as well.

Krolia arrives on the eighth day. He hears her before he sees her.

_“Where is my son?”_

“Uh, m-ma’am, we don’t know who-”

“The Black Paladin! Keith Kogane! Take me to him _now!_

The wolf lifts his head from where he’d been sleeping at Shiro’s feet – having also not left since Keith arrived – and wags his tail gently at the sound of Krolia’s voice.

The door to Keith’s room hisses open a moment later and Krolia strides in.

“Shiro.” She says, expression softening. “Of course you’re with him. How is he?”

“Out cold. But alive.” Shiro rasps.

She sighs and comes to sit on the edge of Keith’s bed, hand curling around her son’s ankle underneath the sheets.

“We heard what happened, but just pieces. Fill us in.”

“Us?” Shiro asks, and that’s when he spots Kolivan in the doorway. The Leader of the Blade looks a lot better than the last time Shiro had seen him.

He tells them about everything that had happened since their return to Earth and Krolia hisses.

“I never should have left him.”

“The Blade needed you.” Shiro says quietly. “And I was here. I wasn’t going to let him die.”

Krolia looks at him with a gentle expression. “I know.”

With Krolia and Kolivan there, he allows himself to leave Keith’s room. He sleeps in a bed and showers and returns freshly shaved and clean. He also stops by Lance and Allura’s rooms, as they are both awake now. Hunk and Pidge have been in and out but are still sleeping most of the day.

“How’s Keith?” Lance asks as soon as Shiro steps in the room.

“Alive. Still out. Krolia and Kolivan got here this morning. They’re with him now."

Lance’s face scrunches. “Yeah, I heard most of the coalition has sent people. I guess humans are interacting with aliens now. The good kind, I mean.”

“I guess so.”

He ducks into the sleeping paladins’ rooms, just to check on them, and that’s how he finds out Matt is on Earth.

“Shiro!”

“Matt?” The other man drags him into a rib-cracking hug, which Shiro returns with equal strength. “When did you…?”

“Yesterday morning. We came as soon as we heard Voltron was here. You guys scared the hell out of me, disappearing for three years. During one of her awake moments, Pidge explained how and why, but still.” Matt pulls away and Shiro notes his hair is long enough to fit into a decent ponytail. It looks good on him.

“Dad told me about Keith.” He says quietly. “I didn’t want to come bother you. How is he?”

“Better than when I found him.” Shiro says quietly.

Matt nods. “Let me know when he wakes up, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

~*~

Two weeks after the liberation of Earth, Shiro is asked to deliver a speech at the memorial service. He manages, but then as soon as he is done, the wolf pops into existence next to him and whines sharply, and Shiro freezes. There is only one reason why the wolf would have left the hospital room to seek him out.

Keith is awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of S7, but I have two chapters left to publish, detailing what happened in the 6ish months between Keith waking up and them discovering the Altean. It's all fluff and a lot of hard-earned, long overdue smut. Because goddamn do these two deserve it after all the shit they've been through. So with that said, I will see you all next week!
> 
> You don't need them to believe in you  
> Get your mission on lock and see it through  
> You've got all the power you need in you, power you need in you,  
> Power you need in you!  
> We can change the whole world  
> Gonna take it over, gonna start it over  
> Don't you know what we could be?  
> A new beginning, fight until we're winning  
> Tell me that you're in it  
> Don't you wanna be  
> A superhero  
> \- Superhero, Simon Curtis


	40. Something Just Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER FORTY HOLY SHIT. And it's all fluff, smut and humor. No angst. Just the way I like it. Enjoy!

Keith comes to in bits and pieces. The first time he opens his eyes, it’s bright and his mother is there, smiling at him gently. Kolivan is in the corner, and the wolf sits up and sets his muzzle on the bed.

“Shiro?” He whispers and falls unconscious again.

The second time he wakes, it’s dark, and Shiro is there, gripping his hand tightly in both of his own.

“Takashi,” he croaks.

“Keith, oh god, Keith,” Shiro chokes, then leans down and presses their foreheads together. “You’re okay, thank god.”

“I feel, fuzzy.” He says slowly, tongue heavy in his mouth.

“That’s the stuff they used to keep you under.” Shiro explains. “You were hurt really badly in the fall. Much worse than the others.”

“The others,” Keith says, eyes widening. “Are they-?”

“They’re all fine.” Shiro soothes. “And they’ve all been awake for a while now. They’re all still here and recovering but Allura and Lance are getting out soon. They were the best off.”

Keith sighs and relaxes.

“We all made it out?”

“We did.”

“Good.” He looks up at Shiro, scanning his worried face for a long moment. “You brought me back.”

Shiro swallows thickly. “I did.”

Keith smiles softly. “You found me.”

Shiro laughs a little. “Always.”

“Kiss me?” He breathes.

“Yeah,” Shiro says raggedly, then presses their lips together gently.

Keith sighs into it, closing his eyes. He feels Shiro pull back, but his eyelids are so heavy, he can’t get them back open.

“Sleep, baby.” Shiro says quietly.

“Stay?” Keith pleads.

“Nothing could make me leave you now.” Shiro swears.

“Good.” Keith tugs on his hand. “Get in?”

Shiro is still for a moment, but then releases Keith’s hand.

“Takashi?” Keith says desperately. He still can’t open his eyes, but he tries.

“I’m right here, baby, I’m just taking off my boots.”

Keith relaxes as he feels the covers slide down and suddenly Shiro’s warmth is pressed against his side. Keith turns his face and tucks it against Shiro’s neck, sighing in contentment.

“Sleep, Keith, I’ll be here.”

So Keith does.

~*~

The third time Keith awakens, he actually manages to stay awake. Shiro is still next to him in the bed, robotic fingers combing through his hair while he skims through a data pad with the other.

“Hi.” Keith murmurs.

Shiro presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Hey, baby. Feeling better?”

“Yeah. Less fuzzy.”

“Keith.” Keith turns his head a little and sees his mom sitting at the foot of it.

“Mom?” He vaguely recalls seeing her when he first woke up, but he hadn’t been sure. “When did you guys get here?” He glances up at Kolivan behind her.

“A week ago. We brought the Blade.”

Keith perks. “So some did survive.”

“Yes.” Kolivan says, smiling a little. “Quite a few.”

“Good.”

The day is mostly spent clinging to Shiro and talking to his mom, catching each other up on what had happened since they last saw each other.

That evening, there is a knock at the door, and Matt walks in.

“Matt!” Keith sits up.

The man grins and walks over, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey, buddy. Glad to see you’re up.”

“Pidge?” he asks, because of course Matt would have been with her until now.

“She’s fine. Bored out of her mind being stuck in the hospital. Dad’s letting her look over some schematics just to keep her in bed.”

Keith sighs. “Good.” Then he tugs Matt forward and wraps his arms around his friend. “I missed you.”

“I missed you guys too. Next time you decide to go MIA for three years, warn a guy, would you?”

“Sure.” Keith says, hugging Matt tighter. “You look good though.”

“You look pretty good yourself. And look at the three of us! Facial scar bros. We are and always will be the original Garrison Trio. Katie and the boys can suck it.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say, Holt.”

Matt sits in with them for a while, and Keith is glad. Matt is one of his oldest friends and they really haven’t had a chance to spend time together since he was found. That thought makes Keith frown, and when Matt leaves, Shiro calls him on it.

“What are you thinking?” He asks.

“Matt. He’s known me for a long time. Has been my friend for a, a long time.”

“Yeah?”

“And he still doesn’t know.” Keith looks up. “About me. About why I’m, why I _used_ to be so twitchy. He doesn’t know.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “Do you want him to?”

Keith nods slowly, hesitantly. “He should. He’s been around the longest, aside from you, of course, and has always been good about my boundaries. He should know. I want him to.”

“Okay.” Shiro kisses his forehead.

~*~

Two days later, when he’s feeling a little stronger, a little more put together, and after he’s had each of the paladins fling themselves into his room and hug the life out of him, he calls a bit of a meeting in his room. He’d thought about it after a while and figured there were a couple of other people who should know what happened to him, and it was best to tell them all in one batch. Telling his story is still emotionally exhausting, even if it is easier than it used to be. He’s had eight years of distance from it, as well as so many people he knows he can rely on. It’s still a burden to bear, but its’ not as heavy as it once was.

Shiro closes the door and walks over to sit next to him on the bed. Krolia is leaning against the wall on the far side of the room, watching him warily, as she had also been told what he would be disclosing today. In front of him are Matt, Romelle, and Kolivan.

“I think the three of you deserve to know something.” He starts, wringing his hands in his lap. “About me. About why I am the way I am. Shiro knows. The other paladins know. My mom knows. But you three are also important to me, and so, I think, maybe you should know to. I will warn you, this is not… a happy story.” He looks over to Shiro, who takes his hand gently, and Keith smiles.

“But, you already know it has a happy ending.”

So he tells them. About his past. About The Incident and everything that came before. But he also tells them how he got better. Having Shiro and Matt be there for him in the Garrison. Having the paladins be there for him in space. Having Krolia be there for him on the whale.

“You’re all important to me. And, I wanted you to know how I came to be who I am. And, I wanted to thank you all for the part you’ve played in getting me to where I am now. So. Thank you.”

Shiro squeezes his hand and Keith looks down, wiping tears out of his eyes.

 _“Fuck_ , Keith.” Matt says raggedly.

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “It’s been eight years. It’s an old wound. Still not, very well healed, but I think it’s getting there.”

“Even after all that,” Romelle whispers, “You still manage to be so, so _kind_. Even when you didn’t know me you were so careful with me, and I,” She wipes at her own eyes. “You’re even more wonderful than I first thought, Keith.”

“Kit,” Kolivan growls, leaning forward. “Those men. Where are they?”

Keith waves him off. “Probably dead after the invasion. Before that they were imprisoned for what they’d done so either way, it’s taken care of.”

“We’ll see.” The Blade Leader rumbles.

“Indeed.” Krolia says coolly.

Keith sighs and leans back against the pillows. He has discovered Galra are ridiculously over-protective of those they consider to be part of their pack. It’s very sweet, but also exasperating.

“I’ll come to.” Matt says.

“Same.” Shiro shrugs.

“No.” Keith sighs. “Takashi remember your hand?”

Shiro floats his new arm in front of Keith and flexes the fingers. “Got a new one that doesn’t break as easy, along with a body that’s not deteriorating. I’m good to go.”

Keith groans. “No.”

Then the door opens and the other paladins peer in. “We’re all in whenever you wanna go find the bitches!” Lance crows.

Keith sighs, but smiles a little. He loves his family. Every single one of them.

And even more than that, he trusts that they’re here to stay.

After he’s been hugged and coddled and the others have returned to their rooms, he glances over at Shiro.

“Body that’s no longer deteriorating?”

Shiro shrugs. “My disease. It’s gone.”

Keith sits up. “Gone? How?”

Shiro smiles a little ruefully. “I guess Haggar figured it would be a weakness for her creations to have a muscular disease. This body never had it. While you all were still unconscious, I got a physical. There is no sign it was ever there.”

Keith stares at his boyfriend for a long moment. “Jesus Christ, finally Haggar did something _right_. Remind me to hug her before I stab her to death.”

Shiro shakes his head and laughs. “Will do, baby.”

~*~

Keith is finally cleared a week after he awakens, much to his relief and Lance’s annoyance.

“Man, they kept us so much longer and we weren’t nearly as injured. What gives?”

Keith shrugs. “Galra heal quick.”

Iverson finds them as Keith finishes signing his discharge papers for the nurse that afternoon.

He salutes when he spots them. “Officer Kogane. Captain Shirogane.” He drops his hand. “Due to the influx of coalition personnel arriving, we’ve had to relocate some people to different rooms, yourselves included. Please follow me and I’ll take you to your new quarters.”

He and Shiro exchange a look, then link hands and follow Iverson through the halls. Keith feels weird as everybody – _everybody_ in a Garrison uniform salutes not only Iverson and Shiro, but him as well. It’s trippy.

Iverson halts in a part of the Garrison he’s only ever been in once or twice, when he came to visit Shiro when he and Adam were sharing quarters.

Hold on.

“Iverson,” Shiro says in surprise as he opens one of the doors to the officers’ shared living quarters. Rooms that only long-term partners get. It’s like a tiny apartment, with a sitting room, kitchenette and a private bathroom. As well as a queen-sized bed.

“Damn.” Keith says, peering inside and looking around. “I guess saving the Earth and leading Voltron and the most powerful ship Earth has to offer has some perks.”

Iverson huffs. “It’s only right. You two need somewhere to decompress and unwind. We need you both in tip top shape. And the two of you being involved just, helps save space.”

“Thank you, sir.” Shiro says, shaking the man’s hand.

“Commander Holt had something to do with it too. We are the three highest ranking Garrison officers right now, Shirogane.” Iverson pulls back. “Oh, and I’m to inform you that you two are to take the week off. That you deserve it after all you’ve been through and you two definitely deserve some time together. So, you’re on leave. That’s an order.” He smirks at them and walks away.

Shiro and Keith stand there in the hallway for several long minutes.

“Shiro?” he whispers.

“Yeah?”

“If you do not take me inside our fancy new quarters and fuck me in the next two minutes-”

He doesn’t get to finish the threat. Shiro hauls him inside and slams him against the front door as it closes, kissing him ravenously.

“God it feels like a lifetime since I’ve been able to touch you like this,” Shiro gasps, hands sliding up under his uniform and tracing over his bare skin.

“It has been.” Keith pants, fingers sliding up into his boyfriend’s hair and tugging sharply. “Now take this damn thing off me.”

Shiro makes quick work of his uniform top and tosses it to the ground before peeling the white undershirt up and over his head. Keith’s hands immediately find the buttons of Shiro’s own uniform and undoes them lightning-quick. Shiro tears out of it and his own undershirt before pressing Keith back up against the door.

“God, baby, I want you so bad. Don’t think I’ve ever needed you this much.” Shiro murmurs against his neck, biting down sharply before soothing the sting with his tongue.

“Fuck, Takashi, I need you to, I need, I need _everything_ , please!”

A low humming comes from the side and Keith glances over to see Shiro’s solidified his arm into one piece, then yelps a little as Shiro tucks his hands under Keith’s thighs and lifts.

He wraps his legs around Shiro’s waist and grips his face in both hands, kissing him again desperately.

“Bed. Now.” He growls.

Shiro pulls him away from the door and walks them through their new quarters while Keith sinks his teeth into his lover’s neck and rakes his nails down his back. Shiro doesn’t even seem to notice as he locates the bedroom and falls forwards, pinning Keith to the mattress.

“Shiro, Shiro,” He gasps, and starts fumbling with his own belt, tugging it off and throwing it across the room. Shiro stills his hands when he reaches for his zipper and Keith whines.

“Shi-”

“Hush,” Shiro murmurs, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips. “It’s okay baby, we don’t have to rush. We’ve got all the time in the world. Just the two of us.”

Keith’s tensed muscles relax at the reminder. They really do. They’re safe, and the others can handle everything else for a while. Right now, he gets to just be with Shiro. Something he really hasn’t been able to do in… a long time.

“Okay,” He says shakily.

Shiro kisses his forehead, then his cheeks, the tip of his nose, his lips, his chin, then trails down his neck. Keith sighs and lets go. He knows Shiro will take care of him.

He arches up and cries out when Shiro sucks on a nipple, fingers tangling in the older man’s hair desperately as he presses his chest closer to the wet heat.

“Still so sensitive, even after all this time.” Shiro murmurs fondly. He continues to kiss and suck at Keith’s nipples until he’s a whining mess. Wow, he really wasn’t kidding about taking his time. Not that Keith is really complaining.

He kisses Keith’s stomach just above his navel as he slowly begins unfastening his uniform pants, sliding them down his legs and dropping them over the side of the bed. He runs his hands down Keith’s thighs reverently and presses more kisses to Keith’s sternum.

“I’m going to worship you tonight.” Shiro murmurs.

Keith keens and throws his head back against the pillows. “Fuck.”

“Not quite yet, sweetheart.” Shiro hums, then mouths at Keith’s cock through his briefs and Keith writhes under the attention. God, it feels so damn _good_ , Keith’s blood is on fire in his veins, and Shiro hasn’t even really touched him yet.

“Shiro, Shiro please, please,” He whines, arching up into the teasing touch.

A low chuckle is felt more than heard against his inner thigh, then Shiro pulls away and makes to stand from the bed.

“Where are you going?” Keith whines.

Shiro looks back at him. “I have to be naked before you, remember?”

Keith’s expression softens. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Takashi. I know you.”

Shiro smiles and takes one of Keith’s hands in his own, bringing it to his lips. “I know. But I will never risk doing anything to hurt you.”

So Shiro stands and unlatches his own belt, letting it slip between his fingers and to the floor. Then starts to undo the zipper. Before he lets his pants drop, he pulls a small bottle out of his pocket and tosses it on the bed. Keith looks over in curiosity and raises an eyebrow.

“When the hell did you get lube?”

Shiro shrugs. “Matt went and got it from the Black Lion for me. Brought it to me this morning.”

Keith raises his other eyebrow. “You knew I had one stashed in Black? You knew _where_ I had it stashed in Black?”

Shiro rolls his eyes. “I know you.”

Fair.

Then Shiro steps out of his underwear and Keith’s brain is all static for a moment. Is it _bigger_ than it used to be?

“Keith?” Hands clasp his shoulders and Keith tilts his head back, looking up at Shiro.

“Yeah.” He breathes, then he reaches up and tugs Shiro closer by his hips, nuzzling against his lower stomach.

“Keith?” Shiro asks again.

Keith tilts his head down and laps at Shiro’s slit and the older man nearly doubles over in shock.

“ _Keith_. Baby, no, you don’t have to…”

“I know that, you silly man.” Keith murmurs, then takes the head of Shiro’s cock between his lips and sucks gently.

Keith had told Shiro soon after their first night together that he would never be able to reciprocate oral sex, after what had happened to him. Shiro had never complained and seemed to relish giving Keith blowjobs anyway. But Keith wants to. He wants to do this for Shiro.

 _“Keith,”_ Shiro rasps, fingers lacing through Keith’s hair but not pulling, always so careful not to pull.

Keith hums around his mouthful and Shiro shudders. Keith really likes that, so he slides his mouth lower, only stopping when his gag reflex kicks in. He won’t try to force himself any lower, so he wraps a hand around what he can’t take in his mouth and starts bobbing his head slowly.

Shiro lets out a choked noise and leans over Keith, legs trembling.

Keith goes slow, slower than he would like, but this is not something he’s used to and he’s trying to find a rhythm. Shiro doesn’t seem to care about his pace, judging by the choked whimpers coming out of his mouth. Keith sighs and relaxes his jaw even more, trying to slide down an extra inch, then chokes in surprise when he feels Shiro’s cock hit the back of his throat.

Shiro pulls him off instantly when he feels his throat spasm. “Keith?” He asks sharply.

“Fine,” Keith says, clearing his throat. “Just, didn’t expect to be able to relax _that_ much.” He looks up at Shiro. “I’m fine.”

“Okay.” Shiro crouches down and kisses him, ignoring his weak protest.

“I can keep going,” he says when Shiro pulls away.

“I know you can, and as weird as it may be to say, I am so proud of you for it. But I would much rather get back to worshipping you.” He pushes Keith back down against the pillows and climbs back onto the bed, striping Keith of his briefs. Then he slides between the open V of Keith’s thighs that spread even wider in welcome. Shiro takes one of his legs and bends it at the knee to give himself better access, turning his head to press a kiss to the inside of his knee as he does, then reaches behind Keith and tugs a pillow free.

“Hips up.”

Keith arches and Shiro slides the pillow underneath him.

“Good boy.” He murmurs and kisses Keith’s stomach, reaching over and taking the lube bottle, popping the cap and pouring a large amount onto his fingers.

Keith tilts his head back and sighs as the cool, gel-coated digits circle his hole gently, massaging and probing until Keith relaxes completely and one of Shiro’s fingers slips easily inside.

God, it feels so good after so long without.

“Takashi,” He breathes, arching into the touch. “Missed this. Missed _you_.”

Another kiss, pressed to his hip. “I missed you too, baby. So much.”

“More?” He whimpers, spreading his legs a little wider. “Please?”

“I could never say no to you.” Shiro murmurs and presses another finger inside.

The stretch at first causes a mild wave of panic to rise up, but Keith quells it before he shows any outer reaction. This is Shiro. His body knows Shiro. Shiro is safe.

Shiro is _loved_.

“I love you,” He gasps. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Keith.” Shiro whispers, then leans up to kiss him properly, scissoring his fingers slowly to loosen Keith up. Keith arches into the feeling and moans into Shiro’s mouth.

After a few minutes, Shiro finally adds a third finger, but doesn’t move to stretch him more, instead he finds Keith’s prostate and jabs it mercilessly. Keith screams at the sudden bolt of pleasure zipping through him and turns his head to bury his face in Shiro’s neck.

“That’s it baby, make as much noise as you want. Tell me how good you’re feeling. Tell me what you want.” Shiro rasps in his ear and jabs the spot again, over and over until Keith is sobbing.

“Shiro!” He cries and comes untouched between them.

“Oh, Keith,” Shiro breathes and kisses his cheeks reverently. “Beautiful. You’re so beautiful, baby. You were so good for me.”

“Shi-” he tries but has to swallow around a sob of pleasure as Shiro’s fingers continue to press against his prostate. “Shiro, please, please,”

“Please what?” Shiro murmurs against his lips.

“Inside. Need you inside, now, _please_.” Keith begs, nails digging harshly into Shiro’s shoulders.

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Keith sobs. “ _Please_ , Takashi! I need you!”

Shiro kisses him briefly. “You have me.” He murmurs, then pulls back and removes his fingers. Keith whimpers pathetically at the loss but watches with eager eyes as Shiro takes more lube and spreads it over his cock before leaning back over Keith.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathes, and closes his eyes as he feels Shiro press inside.

God, it’s like coming home.

“Takashi,” he sighs, opening his eyes. He’s so relaxed from his orgasm that Shiro is able to slide in to the hilt on the first thrust, and he shivers at the feeling.

“Okay?” Shiro murmurs, kissing his forehead, and Keith smiles at the familiar gesture and question.

“Always is with you.” he says fondly. “Move.”

Shiro does, slowly, the slide of his cock hot and heavy against Keith’s insides and his body _sings_ with it. He moans, long and loud, when it slides over his prostate, and every time after as well, as Shiro twists his hips to aim for that spot.

He keeps it slow and languid, rocking gently into Keith and Keith can’t find it within him to hurry his lover up. It feels so damn good, especially after his orgasm, to go at this slow, steady pace, and he has Shiro, in his arms and inside his body. That’s all he really needs. He wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and kisses his neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh until it blooms with color under his attentions.

“Keith,” Shiro sighs. “You’re perfect, baby. Always so perfect for me.”

“Of course,” Keith says dazedly, riding the high of having Shiro moving within him and the slow bubble of lust returning to his core. “I was made for you after all.” He murmurs.

Shiro stills, and Keith wonders vaguely what he said, then Shiro’s arms wrap around him tightly and he snaps his hips forwards sharply, causing Keith to cry out in surprise.

“Takashi!”

“I was made for you too, baby. You’re mine, just as I am yours.” Shiro whispers against the shell of his ear and Keith whines, clinging to Shiro’s broad back as he pulls back and snaps his hips forwards again, nailing his prostate continuously.

Keith moans against Shiro’s neck, choking when he feels a hand wrap around his reawakened erection and stroke him quickly in time with his thrusts. Oh god, _oh god_.

“Shi- Shi- _Takashi!”_ Keith wails as he comes for a second time.

Shiro moans lowly as Keith clenches around him, thrusting twice more before following Keith over the edge.

Keith pants raggedly as Shiro pulls out, wincing as he feels the other man’s come drip down the backs of his thighs.

His heartbeat begins to slow a little as Shiro continues to sit there, staring down between Keith’s thighs, pupils still blown wide. Keith feels himself flush at the heated gaze and closes his eyes, figuring Shiro will move off the bed and fetch something to clean them with any moment.

Well, for once, Keith is wrong.

He yelps as his ankles are grabbed and he’s tugged forward, eyes flying open as a curious tongue probes at his stretched rim.

“Fuck, Shiro!” He groans as his lover’s tongue traces around his hole, gathering _his own cum_ and swallowing it down. Shit. Shit, why is that hot.

“Shh,” Shiro murmurs, then laps a broad stripe over his entrance, causing Keith to arch off the bed, oversensitive dick twitching in interest.

“The hell are you doing?” Keith pants, even as he spreads his legs again, encouraging the attention.

“What I always do.” Shiro purrs, “Cleaning you up.” Then he plunges his tongue _inside_ and Keith screams, arching his back into a backwards bow.

His rim is a little sore from their lovemaking, but the heat of Shiro’s tongue is doing wonders to soothe it, even as it causes it to stretch again. Keith can’t believe what’s happening. Sure, Shiro’s rimmed him before, but always _before_ they have sex. This, this is a new one.

But fuck everything if Keith is complaining.

“Shit, shit! Shiro!” Keith moans, startled at the realization that he’s starting to get hard _again_.

Shiro hums and wiggles his tongue inside, causing Keith to shudder at the feeling.

He pulls away several moments later, licking his lips and Keith can see the silver of his irises is almost gone, swallowed by black.

“Fuck, baby, you taste so good, make such lovely noises,” Shiro murmurs, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Keith whines and tries to spread his legs wider, only to wince at the stretch.

“I’ve got you.” Shiro soothes. “Come here.”

Shiro rolls onto his side and turns Keith gently so his back is pressed tightly to Shiro’s chest. He then takes one of Keith’s legs and moves it up and back, hooking it over Shiro’s hip.

“Better?” Shiro murmurs, kissing his neck.

“Much,” Keith breathes.

“Good,” Shiro nibbles at his neck again, and Keith chokes when he feels two fingers press inside him easily.

“Shiro!” He moans, trembling. His body is so sensitized that every little touch makes him feel like he’s on fire.

“Hm, so perfect for me.” Shiro murmurs and presses a third finger inside.

“Fuck!” Keith throws his head back over Shiro’s shoulder, giving the older man more access to his neck. He feels a dark bruise forming at Shiro’s attentions as his fingers continue to stroke his insides.

Keith is writhing in his lover’s grip, taking hold of Shiro’s metal arm with both hands and clamping down hard.

“Shh, don’t worry baby, I got you.” Shiro hums, then removes his fingers, and suddenly Keith feels so _empty_.

“Takashi!”

“I got you.” Shiro repeats, and then Keith feels his cock press inside him once more.

Keith shouts, entire body trembling as he’s breached again, nails digging into the metal of Shiro’s arm.

“Takashi,” he gasps, “I, _oh_ ,” He shudders as Shiro slides out a fraction, then back in.

“Baby, you’re so _sensitive_.” Shiro coos, free arm wrapping around his stomach. “I can feel you fluttering around me.”

“Please,” Keith begs, but he doesn’t know why he bothers. Shiro is already moving his hips.

Shiro stops talking, reduced to grunts and moans, but that makes Keith twitchy. He can’t see Shiro like this, as nice as the position is. So he turns his head and kisses the underside of Shiro’s jaw.

“Keep talking to me,” he gasps. “I need to hear you…”

Shiro makes an understanding noise and kisses his cheek. “Sorry, baby. I’m here. You’re perfectly safe with me.”

“I know,” Keith sighs, arching back against Shiro as his next thrust brushes against his prostate.

“God you’re beautiful. I thank my lucky stars everyday that you’re mine. That you found me, that I’m here with you again. I’m never leaving you again, Keith, I’m going to be right here,” he punctuates the word with a firm thrust, “right here with you. I love you so much, baby. I could never leave you again. You’re more important to me than anything, and I plan to show you that. I’m going to spend the entire night worshipping every inch of you, Keith. Because you deserve to be worshipped. You’re a _miracle_ , and I’m so goddamn lucky that I get to have you.”

“Shiro,” Keith whines, bucking back into Shiro’s thrusts forwards.

“Shh, I have you. I’m going to take care of you, baby, don’t you worry.” Shiro murmurs against his neck, his hand shifting so it can wrap around Keith’s half-hard dick.

Keith keens again and reaches back to grip Shiro’s hair. “Takashi!”

“That’s it, sweetheart, let go for me. I’ve got you, you don’t have to hold back. Come for me again, Keith, come on-”

Keith does so with a choked scream, ending in a whimper when Shiro comes inside him again.

Keith is trembling, oversensitive and feeling like his soul has officially left his body. But wow what a way to go.

He whines when Shiro turns him onto his back but sighs, knowing they need to clean up. But then he yelps, eyes flying open when Shiro presses two fingers from his metal hand back inside him.

“Shiro!”

Shiro hums and leans down to take Keith’s cock into his mouth, intent on sucking him back to hardness.

Keith whines and throws an arm over his eyes. God. He can’t.

“You can,” Shiro purrs, pulling away. “I’ll make you feel so good, baby, don’t worry.”

Shiro wraps his human fingers around Keith and starts stroking him, but Keith’s nerves are fried, and instead of feeling pleasure, it edges on pain, sensitive in a not so good way.

Keith groans and clenches the sheets in his fists. Too much. Too much.

“Stop!” He chokes. He needs a minute to breathe, to calm down, before he can go again.

As soon as Keith says the word, Shiro’s eyes go wide and panicked, and he throws himself off the bed. Keith hisses at the sudden absence of touch but does sigh in relief. Then he frowns and leans up on his elbows, eyes widening when he sees Shiro pressed against the far wall, staring at him in horror.

“Shiro?”

“I’m sorry,” Shiro chokes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry-_ ”

“Hey!” Keith calls and Shiro’s jaw clicks shut. “Easy, superman.” Keith says, exasperated. “Why are you freaking out?”

“You,” Shiro starts, then swallows thickly. “You said stop, and, and you sounded so…”

Oh. Whoops.

“Takashi,” Keith says gently, “I asked you to stop because I was getting way too oversensitive, enough so it was starting to hurt instead of feel good.”

Shiro’s eyes go impossibly wider and Keith realizes that may not have been the best thing to divulge.

“Easy,” Keith says again. “You did not hurt me, okay? It was starting to feel like too much, so I needed you to stop so I could cool down. Nothing triggered me, and you didn’t cause me any harm. The opposite, really. Just, too much of the opposite.”

Shiro is still shaking like a leaf but seems less tense. Keith holds a hand out.

“Come back? It’s cold over here without you.”

Shiro slowly peels himself away from the wall and pads over to the bed, taking Keith’s hand gently. Keith tugs him back into the bed and down to the sheets with him, curling up facing each other with their legs tangled together.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro rasps again. “I, I got too carried away. I just, I missed you so much and I just want to do _everything_ and, I ended up hurting you.”

“Didn’t hurt me.” Keith repeats, pressing their foreheads together. “Overwhelmed is more like it. It was _good_ , Takashi, believe me, it was, but three orgasms in a row? I definitely need a breather before we go again. Just let me rest for a few and I’ll be ready to take whatever else you can throw at me.”

“I,”

“Shh,” Keith murmurs, pressing their lips together gently. “I loved every second of it. I just need a minute to come down. Then I will love every other second you have planned. We’re okay, Shiro. Everything is okay.”

“Okay,” Shiro whispers shakily. “Can I… can I hold you? Until you cool off?”

“Definitely.”

Shiro’s arms wrap around him gently. “Can I kiss you?”

“Always.” Keith hums, and presses their lips together. They make out lazily until Keith feels his skin stop buzzing and his heartrate calms.

“Okay,” he murmurs against Shiro’s mouth. “I’m good to go.”

“You’re sure?” Shiro whispers.

“I’m sure. Come on, superman. Make me _scream_ again,” Keith purrs.

Shiro shudders then rolls them over until he’s on top of Keith once more. “I can do that.”

~*~

Shiro makes him come three more times before he taps out again, then twice more after that. By the time they’re both exhausted and shaky and can’t go on, Keith is _covered_ in bodily fluid.

“Shower,” Shiro mumbles and stands from the bed on shaky legs.

Keith groans weakly. “I can’t move.”

“I got you,” Shiro murmurs, and lifts Keith into his arms.

“How the hell do you still have the strength to carry me?” Keith mutters as they make their way into the bathroom. Shiro sits down on the closed lid of the toilet, holding Keith close with his human arm while his robotic one floats over to turn on the water.

“How many times do I have to say it? You’ve never been heavy, Keith.” Shiro hums, kissing the top of his head.

“Bullshit.” Keith mutters. Shiro laughs and carries him over to the shower. Keith sighs as the hot water hits his sore body and he mostly just clings to Shiro as the older man cleans them both up.

“Eight fucking orgasms. You’re trying to kill me.” Keith mutters as Shiro shuts off the water, reaching out and grabbing a soft grey towel sitting nearby.

“You enjoyed it.” Shiro hums, shrugging as he towels Keith off.

“Hell yeah I did.”

Shiro finishes drying them off, then carries Keith back to the bed, stripping off the soiled comforter and pulling down the sheets before depositing Keith in the middle of the bed. Shiro moves around to the other side and slides in as well, tugging the covers up over them. Keith shivers and snuggles close against Shiro’s warmth.

“I love you so much.” Shiro murmurs, pressing gentle kisses to the top of his head. His human arm wraps around Keith while the metal one flips off the light before powering down.

“Love you,” Keith mumbles, kissing Shiro’s neck. “Can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“Why’s that, sweetheart?”

Keith smiles and closes his eyes. “Because we get to do all of that all over again.”

The last thing Keith hears before he falls asleep is Shiro’s breath hitching.

~*~

Shiro spends all of the next day increasing Keith’s orgasm count, but damn if Keith doesn’t tick up Shiro’s too. Around noon, there’s a knock at their door and Shiro throws on his uniform pants before opening it.

“Lance.” He says, blinking in surprise. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Shiro!” The Red Paladin says cheerfully, doing a wonderful job of not looking at Shiro’s torso which is scratched all to hell. “Sorry to interrupt the sexathon that’s undoubtably happening in there, but Hunk didn’t want you guys to starve so he sent these.” Lance holds up a stack of containers. “Also I have your bags from the lions so you have all your stuff.” Lance gestures to two duffles sitting at his feet, then raises his voice. “Hi, Keith!”

“Go away, Lance!” Keith calls back.

“Will do, buddy! Have fun!” Lance chirps, then winks at Shiro.

“We are.” Keith replies, and Shiro groans.

“Keith,” He grumbles, but Keith just laughs.

Shiro closes the door after bidding Lance goodbye, then sets the food down in the kitchenette before finally returning to the bed, setting their bags down on the floor.

“Hand me mine?” Keith asks, and Shiro passes it over.

“We should eat. I’ll heat up some of the stuff Hunk sent.” Shiro wanders back out to the kitchen and opens up the top container that says “Eat me first!” with a smiley face. Funny thing is, it’s in Matt’s handwriting. When Shiro opens it, he sees why and laughs. Inside are two fast-food burgers with large fries and two bottles of soda. Another note inside reads “The ‘welcome back to Earth food’ starter pack. Enjoy!”

Shiro takes the container back into the bedroom and Keith looks up from where he’d been rummaging in his bag.

“That was fast.”

“Gift from Matt.” Shiro says, and tosses him a burger which he catches deftly, eyes going wide as he tears it open and takes a huge bite.

Keith moans around his mouthful. “ _Fuck_ I missed burgers. Bless Matthew Holt, _Jesus_.”

Shiro settles next to his boyfriend and hands him a coke. Keith grabs it and twists off the cap, chugging a good third of it in one go. “It’s not alcohol but I’ll take it.” Keith sighs and sets the bottle down on the side table. They eat in relative silence for several minutes. Keith finishes first and tucks the wrapper back into the container before digging through his bag again.

“What are you looking for?” Shiro asks after he swallows his last bite.

Keith makes a noncommittal noise, then let’s out a pleased “ha!” a moment later, pulling out a small bag and unzipping it. Keith reaches in and pulls out… another bottle of lube.

“Ah.” Shiro says, and sets the empty container off to the side, taking the bottle from his boyfriend.

“Well, we were starting to run out.” Keith says, shrugging, then pulls out two more bottles.

Shiro raises an eyebrow as Keith sets them on the side table. “Where did you…?”

“Remember how when we first got the Altean lube I said I was gonna ask Coran for ten more bottles?”

Shiro blinks at him. “You, actually did that?”

“Yep.” Keith pops the p. “There’s more in your bag in case we need it, but I think we’re good for a while.”

Shiro stares at Keith for a long time, then sets the full bottle in his hand down before grabbing their nearly empty one and pins Keith to the bed.

“You’re impossible.” Shiro murmurs fondly, and kisses Keith breathless.

~*~

James walks down the hall towards the door Commander Iverson had pointed out to him. He’s admittedly a little nervous about talking to Koga- to _Keith_ , but he does owe the guy. And maybe it would be nice, not to have their pasts hanging over them anymore. Maybe they could even be friends with enough time.

He knocks sharply on the door and waits for several minutes. He hears someone shuffling around before the door hisses open and Captain Shirogane is standing there, shirtless.

“Sir!” James stutters out, snapping a salute. Oh boy. Shiro is _covered_ in scratches and several dark bruises litter his neck. He very clearly interrupted something just now.

“James,” Shiro says evenly, if a little tiredly, and James is normally not one to be embarrassed, but catching his superior officer _in the act_ certainly warrants it, in his book. “Can I help you?”

“I, uh, I was looking for Kogane, and, and Commander Iverson told me _this_ was his room, but I must have misheard. I, uh, I’m sorry for, er, _interrupting_. I’ll just let you get back to, whatever you were doing.”

Shiro raises an amused eyebrow and crosses his arms. “You didn’t mishear Iverson, Officer.”

Huh?

Then James hears a yawn from inside the room. “Takashi?” A voice rasps. “Where are you?”

James’s eyes widen. Oh.

“Out here, baby.” Shiro calls back. “James is here, wanted to talk to you.”

 _Oh_.

“Okay.” Another yawn. “He can come in.”

Shiro smirks down at his bright red face and steps aside. “Be careful, he’s cranky when he first wakes up.”

“Right,” James mutters, walking past his captain and into the room, headed towards the open door that shows the corner of a bed.

Keith is sitting up against the headboard, rubbing his eyes when James walks in. He is also shirtless, though James guesses he’s lacking more than a shirt, judging by the sheets pulled up to his waist. There are lots and lots of hickies covering the Black Paladin’s neck and shoulders, and even a few bitemarks on his chest. Wow James so did not need that image.

“Hey,” Keith rasps, then clears his throat. “What’s up?”

“I heard you were out of the hospital.” James says as evenly as he can manage. “So, good job staying alive.”

Keith shrugs. “Barely, but that’s how I get through most missions.” He leans back again and Shiro walks in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and handing Keith a steaming mug.

“Thanks, superman,” Keith mumbles, sipping at the contents of the cup slowly. “So what did you want to talk to me about?” he asks, looking up at James again.

“If I remember correctly,” James says slowly, careful of how he phrases this. He doesn’t want Captain Shirogane to think he’s flirting with his… boyfriend? Is that what the two of them are? “I told you that if you lived, I’d owe you a beer.”

Keith grins. “Yeah, you did. Though maybe more than one, all things considered.”

“I suppose.” James concedes. “Anyway, I wanted to come ask if, when you’re free, you’d like to come out with me and my guys? They’ve got a bar open, one of the first things they fixed up.”

Keith nods. “Sounds like fun. I can bring my guys too. If we’re going to be working together, we should all get to know each other, yeah?”

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

Keith sets his mug down and leans forwards. “How about Monday evening? That’ll be mine and Shiro’s first day back from leave.”

“Good. Sounds good.” He doesn’t even try to suggest they do it _during_ their leave. Something tells him they’re… _busy_ for all of it.

“Alright, Griffin,” Keith says, “Meet you at the bar.”

James says his goodbyes and books it out of there. Why had literally _no one_ told him that Kogane and Shirogane were boning on the regular? What the fuck? When did that happen? He knew they’d always been close but, wow.

James shakes his head and goes to find Nadia. He needs to do a lot of day-drinking to burn those images from his head.

~*~

As soon as the door closes behind James, Keith bursts out laughing and falls back to the bed, covering his face with his hands.

“Did you _see his face!?_ ” Keith giggles helplessly. “I have _never_ in my life seen a person who wants to be literally anywhere else that badly, holy _shit_. That was better than Lance being jumpy when I threatened to let you beat him up!”

Shiro shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “I suppose Iverson failed to inform him that you shared your quarters _with me_.”

“I guess he figured that if he had to suffer with the knowledge that we’ve been fucking all week, that others had to suffer with him.” Keith giggles again and sits up on his elbows. “How many more times are we gonna have Garrison personnel go ‘oh shit they’re dating’ on us?”

Shiro shrugs and stands so he can take off his pants again. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see. Now, we have four days left of our leave, and I intend to spend all of it in this bed with you.”

“Yes, Captain.” Keith purrs and drags Shiro back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only one more chapter after this before I have to go on hiatus. It also has lots of fluff and smut and interesting personal developments. So at least I leave you all on a high note. Anyway, have a great week and I'll see you all next Wednesday!
> 
> I’ve been reading books of old, the legends and the myths  
> The testaments they told, the moon and its eclipse  
> And Superman unrolls a suit before he lifts  
> But I’m not the kind of person that it fits  
> She said where d’you wanna go?  
> How much you wanna risk?  
> I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts  
> Some superhero, some fairytale bliss  
> Just something I can turn to, somebody I can miss  
> Oh I want something just like this  
> \- Something Just Like This, Coldplay & The Chainsmokers


	41. Start of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy filler chapter with smut and feels and some side-ships I plan to sneak in to the rest of the fic. I hope this can tide you all over until the S8 premiere.  
> Also, is it just me, or does Shiro's new uniform have Admiral's stripes!? If I'm wrong I'll change it later but I hope to god I'm not because my boy deserves it!!!!!

Monday sees Keith emerging from his and Shiro’s quarters sore, tired, and sated. Iverson had stopped by the night before to drop off their new, paladin-colored uniforms (Keith had been beyond happy to see Shiro was still included and received a black one) and to inform Shiro that he was the new admiral. Shiro had been a little shell-shocked and Keith had kissed him senseless. They’d spent the rest of the night “celebrating”.

Lance grins and waggles his eyebrows as soon as Keith walks into the Paladins’ designated meeting room. He very cheerfully flips his best friend off.

“Someone catch me up on what’s happened in the past week.” He says as he sits – very carefully – at the head of the table.

“You mean while you were busy getting boned by Shiro?” Pidge says casually, and Keith throws a balled-up sheet of paper at her head.

“Yes. While I was busy getting my brains fucked out in several delightfully creative ways by our esteemed admiral.” He coos, and everyone groans.

They shut up about his love life after that and tell him about the arrival of coalition members and reconstruction efforts, and how the lions have been integral for the construction projects. They give him a tablet with all their current projects and he skims through it as they make their way to the lions. It would seem they’re set to work in London today.

The lions have been splitting their time between several major cities around the globe, helping restore power and reestablish communications. They’ve made one trip to Tokyo and tried to find information on Shiro’s family but have found nothing yet. Pidge assures him that she, Hunk and the other Holts will keep looking.

Keith sighs, and hopes they can find Shiro’s family soon.

They go to London and help the Prime Minister set up some shelters and get a comm link to the Garrison up and running. They’re even invited to dine in Buckingham Palace with the king and his husband. Keith feels flustered the whole time. He’s eaten meals with foreign rulers before but, never on Earth. He has no idea how to act. Allura, however, hits it off with the man immediately. They now have a standing invite to come for tea whenever they’re in the area. And at one point, the King says to him “Do bring the Atlas’s Captain with you next time, we would be delighted to host him too.”

Keith is confused about why he was singled out to give Shiro that message, and that’s when the team finally decides to inform him that apparently the whole damn world knows he and Shiro are together. They’re apparently very popular topic of discussion. Keith groans.

After finishing up in London, they pop over to Paris to help set the Eifel Tower upright once more, then they head back to the compound. On the way, he tells the others about his talk with James (minus the part where he was naked) and that they’re all invited to the bar.

Once they land, Keith heads to his and Shiro’s quarters and hops in the shower, rinsing off the sweat of the day then changing into his civvies. When he reenters the living room, Shiro is there, tablet in hand.

“Hey, superman.” He hums, walking over and draping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “You coming to the bar with us?”

“Nah, I need to look over this. A lot happened while we were on leave.” Shiro sighs, leaning his head against Keith’s. “You go have fun though. Call me if you need me?”

Keith kisses his boyfriend’s cheek and straightens. “Will do, big guy.”

~*~

The bar ( _club_ , it is definitely more of a club) is bright and loud and crowded. Keith feels uneasy walking in, but Lance and Hunk flank him on either side and Pidge leads the way through the crowd, her brother and Allura taking up the rear. He is boxed in by his team and feels like they’re his bodyguards but it makes him feel well-loved so he lets it be.

He spots James and the other MFE pilots at a round corner booth and heads over, his posse of over-protective friends following in his wake.

“Hey, Kogane! Glad you guys could make it!” James shouts over the music. “Have a seat.”

He and the other paladins slide into the booth. It’s a tight fit with ten of them, but Keith has Lance right next to him so he’s fine. On his other side is Kinkade, who from what Keith knows of him is a pretty quiet guy so that should be fine.

The other three MFE pilots introduce themselves (i.e. give their first names) and then Matt orders a round of drinks. It says something about the paladins’ status on Earth that Pidge orders a very definitely alcoholic beverage, and no one dares question her. She’s not even seventeen yet. Matt looks the other way as she starts sipping.

“Mom and Dad will never know.” He says, leaning around Lance to look Keith in the eye.

“Not from me.” Keith promises, and downs his own drink. Alcohol is nice. A lot nicer now that he can drink it legally (he might have stolen and consumed quite a lot of it during Shiro’s Lost Year. Ahem).

He ends up talking a lot with the MFE pilots. He really likes Kinkade – Ryan – who is a no-nonsense kind of dude. Keith can respect that. Nadia Rizavi is a bright ball of energy and she and Lance get on like a house on fire. Hunk also seems to delight in her presence. Keith kinda finds her exhausting, but she’s very nice. Allura seems to be enjoying talking about work (ugh, really?) with James, and Pidge and Leifsdottir (Ina) have been talking quietly and rapidly since pretty much the moment they all sat down.

“I never thought I’d see Ina open up for anybody but us.” Kinkade says quietly. “I’m glad to see she’s making friends.”

“Pidge isn’t too good at people either.” Keith says, shrugging. “Maybe they sense that about each other and can be baffled about human interaction together.”

The other man laughs quietly. “Maybe so.” He eyes Keith steadily. “Though James seemed to think you weren’t too good at people yourself. You seem fine to me.”

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “I got a lot better after becoming friends with the paladins. James is thinking about back during my Garrison years, and he would definitely be right about me back then.”

Kinkade nods. “I was the same way. I don’t like a lot of people, but when you have to put your life in another person’s hands, that changes the way you feel about them. These guys, they’re family.”

“Exactly.” Keith sighs. Yeah, he really likes Ryan Kinkade. He spends most of the evening talking to the other pilot. They’re weirdly similar in a lot of ways.

“I feel like I’m being replaced.” Lance teases at one point.

Keith (who at this point has had a lot of alcohol) just blinks at the Red Paladin. “Huh?”

“You’re replacing me with Kinkade.”

“No no no,” Keith says, patting Lance’s shoulder. “Ryan’s my _Earth_ best friend. You’re my _Space_ best friend.”

Lance gives him an amused look. “Keith, buddy, I am also from Earth.”

“Shh.” Keith pats the side of Lance’s face and takes another swig of his beer. “Hey, you know what we should do?”

“Oh god.” Pidge sighs from across the table, but she’s grinning excitedly. “What, Keith?”

Keith grins himself and leans forwards. “ _Body shots._ ”

“Yes!” Matt crows. “Let’s do it!”

“Oh god.” Hunk sighs.

“I like you, Kogane.” Rizavi cackles.

“I’m calling Shiro.” Allura says crisply and pulls out her new cell phone.

~*~

Shiro is enjoying a quiet night in reading reports. He likes knowing that his boyfriend is out enjoying his evening and spending time with friends. He thinks about how far Keith has come since they were last on Earth and smiles, taking another sip of tea and scrolling further down the list of active projects Sam had forwarded to him.

Then his phone rings.

“Shirogane.” He says as he picks up, setting the tablet down.

“Shiro, please come collect your boyfriend.” Allura sighs.

“…Why?” Shiro asks slowly.

“Because he seems to be heavily intoxicated and has suggested body shots – whatever that is – and is now dancing in the middle of the dance floor with Lance, Matt, and Officers Rizavi and Kinkade. Please come fetch him before something bad happens and he panics.”

Shiro stands and starts towards the door, tugging on his boots. “On my way.”

He arrives at the bar fifteen minutes later and immediately spots Allura who is flagging him down. He makes his way over to the table and sees Pidge, Hunk, Leifsdottir, and James sitting there as well. Pidge seems to be recording the dance floor and cackling madly while Leifsdottir looks on curiously. James has his head on the table.

“Where is he?” Shiro asks and Allura points behind him. He turns to see Keith with the others in the middle of the dancefloor, moving to the beat of the song playing over the speakers. Shiro sighs and begins to work his way through the crowd, but it’s very slow going. Eventually, he has the brilliant idea to let Keith know he’s there and sends his arm towards his boyfriend. He sees and feels it make contact with Keith’s shoulder, and the younger man glances down and sees it resting there. He grins and looks around before spotting Shiro.

Instead of making his way towards him, Keith smirks and takes Shiro’s hand, kissing the palm then taking two of the fingers into his mouth. Shiro shivers. Damn, Allura was right about the sensitivity, and about Keith’s level of intoxication.

He finally reaches the tangle of paladins and pilots and Keith coos happily when Shiro’s real hand cups the nape of his neck. He turns and nuzzles into Shiro’s chest.

“Heeeeey, Takashi, thanks for coming.” He purrs, standing on tiptoes to nip at Shiro’s ear.

Shiro sighs and glances around at the others. Lance and Rizavi are paying zero attention, but Kinkade is watching them with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

“You don’t seem all that drunk.” Shiro notes.

“I don’t really drink.” The pilot says flatly. “I came out here to make sure nobody grabbed at them.”

Shiro nods in thanks.

“Come on, baby, let’s get you home.” He sighs, but Keith just whines.

“No, you just got here! We can do body shots now!”

Lance and Rizavi perk up at that and crow happily, grabbing Kinkade – who sighs heavily – and dragging him over to the table where Shiro now sees a bottle of tequila, a bowl of limes, and a bowl of what must be salt. Pidge is grinning at him, and Allura is giving him a not-very-apologetic look.

“You planned this.” He says slowly, realization dawning. Keith snorts.

“Of course. I wouldn’t let anybody do a body shot off me but you, you know?”

“Keith,” Shiro says quietly, “I’m not going to… you’re _drunk_ , sweetheart. I can’t in good conscience-”

Keith gets up on his tiptoes again and presses his lips to Shiro’s ear. “Takashi,” he says firmly, all trace of intoxication gone from his voice, “I am not nearly as drunk as I am pretending to be. I am fully aware of what I am saying and doing, but it’s more fun to be around drunk people if you’re drunk too, so I’m playing it up. I am coherent, and I am able to consent.”

He pulls back and smiles up at Shiro easily. “Now come do a body shot off me. You need to relax too.”

Shiro huffs a laugh as Keith drags him over to the table and hops up onto it, laying down on the relatively clear surface and tugging up his shirt.

“Come on, superman.” Keith coos sweetly, then pops a lime wedge into his mouth. Pidge sets up the rest of Keith’s “shot” and Shiro rolls his eyes as Keith winks up at him. Yeah, okay, maybe he does deserve a bit of a break, and what better way to spend one than licking alcohol and salt off his lover’s bare stomach?

Yeah, this works.

~*~

The next morning, Shiro wakes up wincing, rubbing at his neck. He knows when he looks in the mirror, he is going to find a very large, very dark bruise there. He sighs and turns to face Keith who is just blinking awake himself, smiling at Shiro happily.

“Hey, Takashi.” He purrs. “Last night was fun. We should do body shots more often.”

“So you really were sober.” Shiro sighs, relieved. He hadn’t been sure, which is why he’d stopped Keith from stripping them completely. He couldn’t do anything about the other man’s necking though.

“Well, not sober, because I _was_ drinking a lot.” Keith sighs, sliding closer and nuzzling Shiro’s side. “But I was coherent, yes. Fun fact I learned from both the Blade and my mom: Galra can hold their alcohol really well. Even a hybrid like me has a high tolerance. So I’m fine.”

“Okay, good to know for next time.” Shiro sighs, tugging Keith closer.

“Yeah.” Keith sighs, then smiles up at him sleepily. “Let’s sleep in.”

“Keith,” Shiro huffs. “We have work to do.”

“So? Work can be done later.” Keith nuzzles into his neck, kissing the bruise he’d left gently. “Earth is not in mortal peril, and neither are we, so I’d rather spend all the time I possibly can with you.”

Shiro pauses at the words. Something clicks in his brain, and he’s astounded it took him this long to realize. They’re back on Earth now. Things are actually _peaceful._ He can take the time to do it. To make it as special as Keith deserves. Finally.

Shiro ducks his head and kisses Keith sweetly. The Black Paladin hums happily against his lips and sighs when Shiro rolls on top of him.

“Whatever you want, baby.” He whispers.

He can plan later. Right now, he’s going to make love to the man in his arms who is more precious to him than anything else.

~*~

Keith and the other paladins keep hanging out with the MFE pilots. They make it a weekly thing to go to the bar and get drunk together, and sometimes he can even convince Shiro to join them.

He likes watching new relationships develop between his team and James’s. For example, he can safely (but weirdly) say that he and James are friends now. Younger him would have a hissy fit if he’d been told that would happen, but he’s matured. They both have, and now they have an easy relationship, even if it is still full of friendly rivalry.

He’s also gotten close to Ryan. He and the other pilot have taken to running the track in the evenings when no one else is out. They seem to be the only ones who prefer dusk runs to dawn ones. Ryan is also a fantastic sparring partner. Their styles are different, but similar enough that they can give each other a challenge (and Keith actually wins on occasion, as opposed to when he spars with Shiro and loses every time). Sometimes they just hang out in Keith and Shiro’s quarters talking or watching movies. Ryan is low energy and a very calm presence and Keith greatly enjoys his company.

Though being friends with both Ryan and James leads to an… interesting situation.

“Let me get this straight,” he says slowly, watching James fidget on the couch before him. “You want to know… how I knew I was in love with Shiro, who was my best friend, for _purely_ curiosity’s sake?”

“I, yes.” James says slowly.

“No personal stake in this.” Keith deadpans, crossing his arms. “None at all.”

“Nope.” James chokes.

“Right.” Keith sighs. “I realized I was in love with Shiro when he learned my darkest secrets, and instead of treating me differently, embraced them and helped me move past them. He took on my burdens as though they were his own, and he never asked for anything in return. That’s when I knew he actually cared about me, and I could allow myself to care about him back.”

He eyes James. “That settle your ‘curiosity’?”

“Yeah,” James says, looking up at Keith. “But, what made you act on it? What made you think that taking that next step was… was worth the risk?”

Keith smiles. “I didn’t have to worry about that. Shiro accidentally blurted out his feelings and it all went pretty smoothly from there.”

James nods. “I see.”

Keith stares at him for a long moment, crossing his arms. “You’re in love with someone.”

“Wh, no! No! Being in love with a teammate, and a _friend_ besides, that would be so unprofessional!” James sputters.

“I never said anything about a teammate or friend.” Keith smirks. “It’s Ryan, isn’t it?”

“Shut up, Kogane.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Somehow, Ryan is actually _worse_ than James in this particular debacle, but then again, Keith understands the concept of “ignore feelings until they go away”. He used to do it too.

“-and James did the maneuver anyway even though Captain Shirogane _told him_ we didn’t have enough power left so I had to dive down and save his stupid ass. I really don’t know why he’s in charge. For as much as he loves rules he can be so _reckless-”_ Ryan huffs, leaning back against the sofa. Keith grins.

“What?” Ryan asks.

“You have done nothing but bitch about James since you got here.” Keith hums.

“I’m not bitching.” The other man says instantly.

“It’s worried bitching. I worriedly bitch Shiro out just like that all the time.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Yes, but you and Shiro are lovers.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Uh- _huh_.”

Ryan glares at him. “James and I are not having sex.” He deadpans.

“But you’d like to be.” Keith coos.

“No.”

“Ryan.”

_“No_.”

Keith sighs. They’re both hopeless.

~*~

Another fun development to watch is Pidge and Ina. The two of them have spent a lot of time together lately, and Keith catches the Green Paladin texting her on several occasions.

“You two get on well.” He says one afternoon when the Holt Siblings are hanging out with him and Shiro. Matt and Shiro are in the kitchen making food and he’s got Pidge sprawled across his lap, so he can see her screen easily.

Pidge glances up at him. “Huh?”

“You and Ina. You get along really well.”

Pidge fidgets. “Yeah, well, we understand each other.”

Keith tilts his head curiously. “Uh-huh.”

The girl glares up at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” Keith says quickly. “I just, didn’t expect this from you.”

“Expect what?” Pidge huffs, sitting up. “Me to get along with people? To have friends outside the paladins?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “You to have a crush.”

Pidge pauses, blinking up at him. “Keith, I am an asexual.”

“I am aware.” He sighs. “That does not mean you do not have crushes.”

“They’re called _squishes_.” Pidge says curtly. “Platonic crushes. It’s a thing. Google it.”

“Okay,” Keith says, nodding, “But you’re being awfully defensive for something that’s so ‘platonic’.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but then Matt and Shiro call them for dinner. Keith is very interested to see where _that_ goes.

~*~

“I’m in love with her.” Lance says to him one night.

Keith glances over to see the Red Paladin staring at the TV screen where Allura is in the middle of answering a question for the UN.

“I know.” He murmurs.

“No, I mean, I’m really in love with her. Not just, because she’s hot, but because she’s _Allura_. I, I don’t know how to handle this, Keith. I’ve never felt like this before.” He glances over at Keith. “How do you stand this? Feeling this way about Shiro all the damn time?”

“It certainly helps that I know he loves me back.” Keith shrugs. “But in your case, I get it. Allura’s used to you being some bigshot playboy, so how could she believe you’re serious?”

“Exactly.” Lance groans. “Veronica thinks she feels the same way, and she’s a girl too so hypothetically she knows what she’s talking about, but… after everything… after _Lotor_ , she deserves everything. And I’m… just me.”

“And just you is amazing in your own damn right.” Keith says quietly. “Lance, we’re still fighting a war, here. Even though things are calm for the moment. It could escalate again at any time. If you were to die tomorrow, what would you regret?”

Lance pauses. “Well, I’d definitely regret being such a huge dick to you.”

“Already forgiven you for that. Anything else?”

“I… I’d regret not telling her.” Lance murmurs. “Even if she laughs in my face… she deserves to know.”

“Then get on it.” Keith huffs. “I’m not saying tell her now, or tomorrow, or even the day after, but soon. My mom said something to me during our space voyage: life is far too short for hypothetical eventualities. Tell her the truth, and she’ll appreciate your honesty.”

Lance sighs and leans over, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

“Anytime, buddy.”

~*~

One evening, Keith comes back to their quarters and hears Shiro talking quietly and rapidly in Japanese. His Japanese has grown rusty, but he recognizes a few words, such as “mom” and “Missed you”.

He quickly rushes into the living room to see Shiro sitting on the couch, covering his mouth with a hand while tears stream down his face. He’s got his tablet in the other hand, and Keith can hear a woman’s voice babbling away, equally choked up.

“You found them.” Keith breathes.

Shiro looks up and nods shakily. “I, yeah. Matt found them on the farm in Hokkaido. They were in one of the work camps, but they’re all okay. Even my grandmother.”

Keith breathes a sigh of relief and crosses the room to drape himself against Shiro’s side on the couch, looking at the tablet screen and seeing Shirogane Sachiko’s teary-eyed face.

“Keith.” The woman says, smiling. “Takashi said the two of you stayed together. Thank you, for saving him so many times.”

“Of course.” He says quietly. “You guys are all okay?”

“Oh yes. The Galra weren’t too terrible, all things considered. I’m glad you all got rid of them.”

Keith shrugs, then his eyes narrow. “Where are you all? Still in Hokkaido?”

“Yes, yes. We’re safe.”

“I’ll come see you soon, move you all back here.” Shiro promises.

“Why wait?” Keith stands and stretches. “Give me your coordinates and we can come pick you up in Black right now.”

“Keith, no, you’re exhausted-” Shiro starts, but one look from the Black Paladin cuts him off.

“They’re your family, Takashi.” He murmurs. “You haven’t seen them in years. Let me take you to them.”

Shiro doesn’t argue again.

They go in Black and load up the extensive Shirogane clan. Shiro’s younger sisters cling to him on the ride home. His twin brother sits close and his parents hover nearby.

The next few days involve them situating the family back into the Shirogane house near the Garrison. They have a lot of meals there, and Sachiko remembers how much he’d loved her bento and their fridge ends up stuffed full of them. He brings his mother and Kolivan for dinner and the two families get on well. Keith looks over at Shiro, who is smiling and relieved and squeezes his hand tightly.

They both have their families safe and sound around them. Everything is right with the world.

~*~

“Lance.”

Lance glances up to see Shiro standing in the doorway of his room, fidgeting nervously.

“Hey, Shiro. What’s up?”

Shiro looks up at him with an expression Lance has never seen on him before. “I need your help.”

Lance frowns but nods, standing and walking over to the former Black Paladin. “Of course. What’s wrong? Is it your family? Or Keith? Is he okay?”

Shiro shakes his head, brow pinching. “He’s fine. He’s out with James and Kinkade. But it is _about_ Keith.”

“How so?”

“You’re his best friend.” Shiro says quietly. “You know him really well by now. I want you to come with me.”

Lance raises an eyebrow. Wait. “Go with you… where?” Is Shiro finally…?

Shiro smiles. “You’ll see.”

Oh, he totally is. About damn time. Lance grins back at Shiro. “Then let’s go.”

~*~

One quiet weekend, Shiro takes him out to the shack. It’s surreal to see the tiny structure has been left completely unchanged. The Galra had left it untouched and so had the humans before them. When Keith walks in, it’s like he and the others had only left a few moments ago. The sleeping bags are still on the floor. There’s still a pillow and blanket on the couch. The sheets of the bed are still tossed back.

It’s like he’s stepped back in time, and he knows Shiro feels it too. He takes his lover’s hand, squeezing gently as they look around the small room. The place where they first kissed. Where they first made love. Where they first said “I love you”.

“Everything has changed.” Keith whispers. Shiro squeezes his hand, and he smiles. “Okay. Maybe not everything.”

They clean up slowly, clearing up the past and introducing the small space to the present. Black can be seen through the window, following her Paladin even through they’d taken hoverbikes out here, racing the whole way, even making That Jump. Shiro had lit up when Keith followed him over the cliff, and had laughed out loud when he finally, _finally_ told him about how he jumped it to get them all away from the Garrison that fateful night.

When they’ve finished cleaning, they head outside and up onto the roof to watch the setting sun.

“So much has changed.” Keith says, “And yet, so much has stayed the same.”

“Yeah.” Shiro sighs and leans back on his hands, watching the sky change to blood red and orange and yellow and pink. A perfect desert sunset. God, Keith had missed it, and he didn’t even realize it until now.

“But,” Shiro says, standing and holding a hand out to Keith. He takes it and Shiro tugs him to his feet. “There is one thing I still want to change.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “What?”

Shiro smiles and walks towards the ladder. “Not here. Come with me?”

He huffs but follows his boyfriend back down to the ground, then into the back yard. The sunset is still visible from here, and Shiro leads them under the shade of the tree so they can be a little cooler.

“Right here.” Shiro says, stopping and turning to Keith. “It was right here that my life changed forever. It was right here that I first told you how I felt about you.”

Keith smiles at the memory. It feels like a lifetime ago. “I remember.”

“And right here,” Shiro continues, voice going soft, “is where my life is going to change again.”

Keith gives him a quizzical look, then chokes on air when Shiro drops to one knee.

Wait.

“Keith,” Shiro says quietly, taking Keith’s hand in his human one. “You are the most important thing in my life. I love you more than anything in this or any other universe. You have saved me more times than I can count, and you make me feel like I could take on anything, as long as you were with me. I always want you with me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I can’t remember how I survived without you, and clearly, I _can’t_ survive without you.” He smiles. “So, I want to make sure I can keep you here, with me, for the rest of our lives. Keith Kogane,”

Shiro releases his hand and pulls out a little black box, opening it so Keith can see the ring nestled inside. “Will you marry me?”

Keith does the _painfully_ cliché thing and covers his mouth with his hands as tears prick the corners of his eyes. Oh god. Oh god. Is this real?

“Takashi,” he whispers, “you’re insane if you think I would _ever_ say anything but yes.”

Shiro’s smile is blinding. “That’s my baby.” He coos, then takes the ring out and slides it onto Keith’s finger. Keith’s breath hitches, and he falls to the ground, wrapping his arms around Shiro and kissing him frantically.

“I love you,” he chokes. “I love you. I love you. Takashi, I love you _so much-”_

“Shh,” Shiro murmurs, cupping his cheeks gently and thumbing away the tears. “I’m here, baby, I got you. And god, do I love you too. More than anything. More than life.”

Keith laughs at the familiar phrase and leans back in to kiss his _fiancé’s_ lips again.

“Takashi,” He breathes, “I need you to take me inside, and I need you to make love to me.”

“I can do that.” Shiro murmurs, kissing him again. He hefts Keith up into his arms and stands, walking back towards the shack. Keith sighs in bliss, feeling the cool metal around his finger warming gradually the longer it sits there. Where it will stay, for the rest of his life.

~*~

Shiro lays his lover down onto the sheets gently, still kissing him. After so many losses and reunions, he’s not sure if he’s ever going to be able to let go again, but he does, if only so he can pull his shirt off over his head, then Keith’s.

“How do you want me, baby?” He murmurs, tucking a lock of hair behind Keith’s ear.

Keith turns his head and nuzzles into Shiro’s palm. “Like this.” He breathes, going soft and pliant beneath Shiro’s touch. “Like our first time.”

Shiro melts at the words and presses a kiss to Keith’s forehead. “I can do that.”

His arm hums as the tangible energy connects it to his shoulder, then he leans on it so he can open the drawer, pulling out the bottle that had been left there so long ago. Keith raises an eyebrow.

“Does lube go bad?” he asks as Shiro pops the cap.

“I wouldn’t think so?” Shiro says, squinting down at the bottle.

Keith giggles helplessly. “Well, if it does, I’ll deal. Just, come here and fuck me.”

Shiro kisses his forehead, fighting down a grin of his own. He’s giddy with their new status. He’d had very little doubt that Keith would say yes, but there is always that little whisper of “what if?”. Thankfully it was completely unfounded, and he is now engaged to the love of his life.

“I love you so much.” He whispers, kissing down Keith’s neck as his fingers drag down the younger man’s stomach and between his legs, massaging gently before he presses one inside.

Keith sighs and goes boneless in his arms, tipping his head back further against the pillow. His hands find their way into Shiro’s hair, combing through it slowly. There is no rush to their movements, this is not a coupling born of lust, but of a deep-seated familiarity and need to feel close. They know they can take their time.

By the time Shiro’s working in three fingers, Keith’s neck is a patchwork collage of purple marks, but he doesn’t seem to be complaining, especially since he’s made sure Shiro matches him.

“Come on, superman,” Keith murmurs. “I’m good.”

Shiro kisses him gently and eases his fingers out before grabbing the bottle again and slicking himself up. Keith hooks a leg around Shiro’s waist to tug him closer as he lines himself up.

“I love you.” Keith murmurs.

“I love you too, baby.”

Keith’s tiny, blissful moan as he presses inside is music to his ears. He remembers a time when he’d have to stop and wait for Keith to come back to himself, muscle memory betraying him, but now Keith pulls him in, wrapping himself around Shiro as he settles and kisses his forehead.

“Okay?” He whispers. No matter how relaxed Keith may seem, he will never assume. He’d promised that.

“Perfect.” Keith sighs. “Feels so good, Takashi. Always does.”

Shiro smiles and nuzzles his lover’s shoulder. “So do you.”

Keith huffs a laugh, then tightens around Shiro purposefully, causing him to choke on air.

“Come on, Takashi, fuck me.” He purrs.

Shiro can do that. He pulls back to kiss Keith as he slowly pulls back and presses back in. Keith hums against his lips and arches up into him.

It’s slow, lazy. They have nowhere to be for the time being, so they spend all the time they can getting lost in each other. Shiro rocks gently into Keith and Keith just clings to him tighter and tighter. They murmur sweet words to each other and exchange soft kisses, and Shiro knows there is nowhere else he’d rather be than right here, with the love of his life.

Keith comes with a breathy sigh, Shiro’s fingers wrapped firmly around his cock. Shiro comes not long after, face buried in Keith’s neck as he shakes.

They don’t move. They don’t even speak for a very long time.

But eventually, Keith breaks the silence. “We’re going to get married.”

Shiro grins and kisses Keith’s neck. “We are.”

Keith tugs at Shiro’s hair and he pulls back so he can look down at his lover. _His fiancé_.

The younger man beams up at him. “I love you, Takashi.”

Shiro ducks down and kisses him. “I love you too, Keith. I love you too.”

~*~

After Shiro rolls off to the side and curls around him like a clingy octopus, Keith brings his hand to his face to examine the ring.

A thin gold band with a shiny ruby at the center, surrounded on either side by two teeny diamonds and a sparkly black stone that Keith doesn’t recognize. It’s not ostentatious, but it’s not super simple either.

“It’s lovely.” He says. He’s never used the word _lovely_ in his life, but there he is.

Shiro hums and kisses the side of his head. “Lance went with me to pick it out. We both agreed that it suited you.”

Keith snorts. “I’m amazed Lance knew about this and didn’t spill it to anyone and everyone he could.”

“He’s your best friend, Keith. He wouldn’t do that.”

Keith gives his fiancé – and holy shit he’s gonna have to get used to that now, isn’t he? – an amused look. “Yeah he would.”

Shiro shrugs. “Okay, maybe. But he didn’t.”

Keith rolls his eyes and turns so he’s draped across Shiro’s chest, looking up at him sleepily.

“Hey,” He murmurs, tracing the scar across Shiro’s chest with a finger. It’s still off, but now it’s normal, and he has the right Shiro looking down at him. That’s enough.

“Hey. What’s up?” Shiro brushes his metal fingers through Keith’s hair slowly.

Keith bites his lip and sits up a little. “I, we’ve come a long way from when we first had sex, huh? Like, I don’t ever freak out anymore. Hell, I can _blow_ you. Most of my triggers don’t even register around you anymore. Because, I know you’re safe. That you would never, ever hurt me.”

Shiro nods slowly, raising an eyebrow. “But?”

Keith shakes his head. “No buts. I just… you made me a promise back in the beginning that you would never push me. That everything was always up to me, and yeah, I needed that then, but I trust you. I trust others now too, but you’ve always been different. And I, I love you. I want to do things that you want to, okay? I _want_ to. So, you can ask for stuff too. If there’s ever anything you want to do or try, I’d be willing. You know my hard no’s, but anything else? I’d be up for it.”

“What brought this on?” Shiro murmurs.

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “You’re going to be spending the rest of your life with me. I don’t want you to be limited by what you think I’m comfortable with. So I’m _telling_ you that I’m comfortable with you. With whatever you want to do.” He kisses Shiro’s chest. “So if you have anything you want to try, tell me.”

Shiro hums and ducks down to kiss the top of his head. “I’ll keep that in mind, baby.” He smiles, but Keith knows Shiro’s expressions. Sees something flash behind his eyes.

Keith raises up onto his elbows. “You’re already thinking of something.” He hums.

Shiro flushes and looks away. “It’s nothing.”

Keith sits up properly. “It’s clearly not nothing, Takashi.”

“We can talk about it later.” Shiro insists, but Keith is nothing if not stubborn. Shiro should know that by now.

“No time like the present. I’m rested, I could go for another round.” Keith smirks. “Out with it, superman. What wicked, wicked thing do you want to do to me?”

Shiro goes scarlet. It’s adorable. He covers his mouth and mumbles something into his hand.

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t catch that, Takashi.” He reaches out and tugs Shiro’s hand away. The bigger man lets him. “Hey, come on. I wanna do something for you. Talk to me. Tell me what you want to do.”

Shiro sighs and sits up, tugging Keith into his lap. Keith wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and presses their foreheads together, waiting.

“It’s not… something I want to do to you.” Shiro says quietly. “It’s something I want you to do to _me_.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Go on.”

Shiro sighs and rubs Keith’s back absently. “Can I ask you something?”

Keith tilts his head. “Of course.”

“Is… is there a reason you’ve never brought up the idea of you topping?”

Keith’s eyes go wide and he pulls back a little to see Shiro properly. Oh. _Oh_.

“Honestly, the first time we ever slept together, I was surprised you didn’t insist on it, all things considered.” Shiro continues. “I figured you wouldn’t want to be vulnerable like that. I mean, I was honored, still am honored, that you trusted me enough to let me do it, but, I guess I’ve always expected that you would ask to top eventually. But you never have.”

Keith’s brow furrows. “I, huh. I guess I never… thought about it? I mean, I guess I’ve always felt that you were the one taking care of me, so I guess that just sort of extended to the bedroom. But, I guess, after the past few years, we’ve been taking care of each other pretty equally.” He grins. “I guess it’s about time I took care of you too.”

He splays his fingers over Shiro’s chest and shoves, getting the white-haired man to fall back against the pillows.

“You want to?” Shiro asks quietly, curling his own fingers around Keith’s waist.

Keith leans down and kisses Shiro soundly. “Yes.” He breathes. “I will admit I never thought about it before, but now that I am thinking about it…” He ducks down and nips at Shiro’s throat. “I want to. I want to make love to you, Shiro.”

Shiro shivers and tugs him back into a kiss. “Please.”

How could Keith ever say no to that?

Keith sits up and slides back so instead of straddling Shiro, he’s kneeling between the older man’s thighs. He glances around for a moment before spotting the lube and snatching it up and popping the cap. He pours some onto his fingers and jumps a little.

Shiro grins. “What?”

“It’s cold.” Keith mutters, closing the bottle and setting it aside.

“Uh huh, is that surprising?” Shiro hums.

“Look, I’ve never done this, okay? I don’t handle the lube, that’s always you.”

Shiro huffs a laugh and Keith growls a little, ducking down and sealing his lips around one of Shiro’s nipples.

The other man yelps and Keith feels vindicated. He runs his tongue over the captive bud and carefully reaches between Shiro’s legs, finding the furled muscle of his entrance and rubbing it slowly.

This is all uncharted territory for him. He’s never done anything like this before. Hell, he’s never even fingered himself. But, Shiro wants this. And dammit, _he_ wants this. He wants to make Shiro feel as good as he’s always made Keith feel. So he takes a deep breath, and pushes one finger inside.

Hot. Tight. Wow.

Keith pulls away from Shiro’s chest and looks down at his face. “Are you okay?” He whispers.

Shiro sighs and threads his human fingers through Keith’s hair slowly. “Good, Keith. I’m good.”

Keith nods and pushes his finger the rest of the way inside, pumping it slowly, just like Shiro does with him. Eventually, at Shiro’s urging, he slides in a second finger.

“You’re really tight.” He murmurs, and Shiro huffs.

“It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve had another man’s fingers in my ass, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I’ll adjust.”

Keith raises an eyebrow at that wording and begins to scissor his fingers slowly, causing Shiro to let out a quiet moan that Keith would just _love_ to hear again.

“Another man’s fingers? So, does that mean it hasn’t been that long since you’ve had your own fingers?”

He smirks when Shiro starts blushing again. Keith starts feeling around, trying to locate Shiro’s prostate while continuing to press. “Come on, Shiro, be honest with me.” He coos.

“Not… very recently, no.” Shiro admits, a little breathily. Keith will take that as a good sign and continues to probe around.

“But more recently than someone else?” He nudges.

“…yes.”

Bingo. Keith grins and leans down to suck a bruise into Shiro’s collarbone. “Tell me.” He murmurs and feels very satisfied by the way the older man shivers underneath him. “Tell me what you do to yourself. Do you think about me when you do it? Do you finger yourself open and imagine it’s my fingers? My cock?”

“Jesus, Keith.” Shiro huffs. “Why didn’t you tell me you were good at dirty talk?”

Keith laughs and kisses Shiro’s jaw. “Come on, superman. Tell me.”

And just then, Keith finally manages to find Shiro’s prostate, and presses down on it hard.

Shiro chokes out a moan and his muscles clap down on Keith’s fingers. Wow, he understands why Shiro loves fingering him so much now.

“Tell me.” He breathes, and Shiro chokes again.

“I, fuck, yes, I think of you when I do it.” Shiro pants. “I’ve wanted to feel you inside me for so long, Keith. Wanted you to touch me like this. Wanted to know how you’d touch me… god, Keith, please, _please_ touch me!”

Keith breathes out a curse and slides a third finger in, making Shiro cry out. Holy shit, why the hell had they not done this before? Shiro is a goddamn mess, and he’s _beautiful_.

“God, I love you.” Keith whispers. He stretches Shiro carefully, feeling him write and buck beneath his touch and fuck, god, is this what Shiro sees when he’s the one in control? He totally gets why Shiro calls him beautiful in moments like this. Shiro is so soft and open and vulnerable. It tears Keith apart.

Eventually, Keith slides his fingers free and reaches for the bottle again. He slicks up his dick and tosses the bottle aside before leaning over Shiro.

Shiro’s gaze is soft when he looks up at Keith. He reaches up with his human hand and cups the back of the Black Paladin’s neck gently, thumbing his jaw.

“Come on, baby.” He says quietly.

Keith shivers and leans down to press their foreheads together before lining himself up and pressing inside.

Shiro moans brokenly at the stretch and fists his metal hand in the sheets, pressing harder against Keith’s forehead. Keith is a little dazed himself. Holy shit, if he thought Shiro was tight around his fingers, that was nothing compared to _this._

“Good?” he chokes out, opening his eyes and looking down at Shiro.

He receives a nod and the hand cupping the back of his neck squeezes gently. “So good. God, Keith.”  Shiro sighs and tips his head back. “Keep going, sweetheart.”

Keith nods and keeps pressing forwards until he’s fully seated inside Shiro. He pauses and sinks down so his forehead is pressed against Shiro’s shoulder now. The older man breathes shakily for a few moments before settling, muscles relaxing around Keith slowly.

“Keith,” Shiro breathes.

“Hm?”

Hot breath against his ear. “Fuck me.”

Keith _snarls_ and pulls back until just the tip of his cock is still inside Shiro, then he snaps his hips forwards hard. Shiro yelps and his fingers grip Keith’s shoulders, but he doesn’t seem to be in pain, judging by his hips rolling up into Keith’s, so Keith goes for it, snapping his hips against Shiro hard and fast.

Shiro tightens around him like a vice, moans sweet and breathy in his ear. God, he could get used to this. He still loves having Shiro pound him into the mattress, but he could stand to be the one doing the pounding every once in a while.

Fuck, especially when Shiro makes noises like _that_.

“Keith, fuck, Keith!” Shiro keens, burying his face in Keith’s neck.

He growls and grips Shiro’s hips tighter, fingernails like claws digging sharply into the flesh. His lips pull back in a snarl, teeth too big in his mouth, and his eyesight is too sharp, catching every detail of the way his lover writhes beneath him.

Shiro gasps and pulls away when Keith scrapes his teeth over the skin of his neck. He stares up at Keith in shock.

“Your eyes.” He breathes. “Keith, your eyes.”

“What?” He growls, licking a stripe up the column of Shiro’s throat.

“They’re yellow. Just like when we fought before.”

Keith pauses. Yellow? Like… like a Galra?

He looks down at Shiro, concerned that this is a bad thing, but Shiro smiles up at him easily. “Guess I triggered something _good_ this time, huh?”

Keith snorts and runs his tongue over his own teeth thoughtfully. Yep, those are some fangs, alright. And he can put them to good work nibbling at Shiro’s neck. So he does.

He snaps his hips harder into his lover and Shiro moans louder. He finally releases one of Shiro’s hips to wrap his fingers around the older man’s cock, stroking erratically. He has no idea how Shiro is ever coordinated enough to match his own thrusts. Oh well, Keith will get there. For now, he just focuses on getting Shiro to scream his name.

“Keith!” Shiro gasps, “I, I’m gonna…”

Keith snarls again and bites at Shiro’s neck. “Come for me, Takashi.” He rasps.

Shiro chokes, and Keith feels him spill between them. His muscles contract around Keith and he all but howls as it drags his own orgasm out of him. He bites down on Shiro’s shoulder to muffle his sounds, barely registering Shiro’s flinch at the contact.

Several moments later, Keith comes back down, and realizes that he can taste something warm and metallic filling his mouth.

Blood.

He bit Shiro hard enough to break the skin.

He jerks back and stares down in horror.

“Oh god, Shiro,” He chokes.

Shiro hums and opens his eyes. “Hm?”

“Your _shoulder_ , I, I’m so sorry.”

Shiro shrugs, reaching up to feel the teeth marks. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It didn’t really hurt. It startled me more than anything.”

Keith lets out a shaky breath and nuzzles the undamaged side of Shiro’s neck.

“Hey.” Shiro coos, running his fingers through Keith’s hair. “It’s okay. It’s far from the worst injury I’ve received. In fact, I kinda like it. I have so many marks on my skin… it’s about time you left your own on me.”

Keith huffs a shaky laugh, still worried, but Shiro’s hands stroking through his hair and up and down his back calm him. He curls up on Shiro’s chest and silence descends for a long time.

“We’re getting married.” He mumbles.

Shiro hums. “Yes.”

“Love you, Takashi.”

“I love you too, Keith.”

Keith knows he should pull out, grab a cloth to clean them up like Shiro always does. Maybe patch up the bitemark, but he’s warm and happy and sated, cradled in his lover’s arms. He closes his eyes and falls asleep.

~*~

He gets back to the Garrison on Monday and announces to the Paladins “Hey so, Shiro and I are getting married.” And the room fucking explodes.

“Keith!” Hunk sobs, picking Keith up and spinning him around. “Oh my god, you guys deserve this so much!”

“You really do, I mean, after the whole dying thing.” Pidge teases, grinning and trying to squeeze between Keith and Hunk to hug him too.

“Oh, Keith, I’m so glad.” Allura murmurs. She’s staying out of the mess but she’s beaming over at him none the less.

“Did Shiro tell you I went with him to get the ring?” Lance pipes up from where he’s standing next to the princess.

“Yep.” Keith swats at Hunk and once he’s set down, he crosses to his best friend and drags him into a hug. “Thank you. But you’re gonna have to do a lot more now.”

Lance pulls back, brow furrowing. “Why?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Because you’re my best man, genius.”

Lance stares at him for a long minute, then burst into tears. “Keeeeith,” he sobs.

“Please stop crying all over my new uniform.” Keith sighs. Then he glances at the others. “Pidge, Hunk, you two are on my side too.”

“Sweet!” Pidge chirps. “Am I your token Holt?”

“Yeah, Shiro already claimed Matt.” Keith huffs.

“Can my family cater your wedding!?” Hunk asks, rubbing his hands together. “I know what you guys like!”

“Hunk,” Keith says seriously, clapping the Yellow Paladin on the shoulder, “If you do not personally make my wedding cake, I will never forgive you.”

Hunk beams and salutes him. “Yes, sir!”

He glances over at Allura. “You’re not left out by the way, princess. Shiro claimed you for his side.”

Allura brightens. “I can’t wait to play a part in your wedding. I am greatly looking forward to seeing it.”

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “It’s gonna be a little bit of a mash between an American ceremony and Japanese traditions. Sachiko would pitch a fit if she didn’t get to see Shiro in the family wedding kimono.”

Their debriefing is taken over by Keith talking wedding details. He tells them his other groomsmen will be Ryan and James, and Shiro plans to rope in his brother and sisters in alongside Matt and Allura.

That afternoon, he tells Kolivan and Krolia, who both have their own kind of freak out and scoop him into a Galra cuddle pile. His mother says “I told you so” a lot.

Soon after, he tells Romelle and Coran, the latter of which had already heard from Shiro, who had announced it to the Atlas crew that morning. Reportedly, Iverson had been fighting back tears all day.

That night, when Keith and Shiro go to bed, he pins his fiancé to the bed and rides him hard, before holding him down and fucking him into the mattress. He curls up into the older man’s side and falls asleep, content with his life and what is in store for him. For _them_. For his huge, sprawling, convoluted, multi-species family.

God, he’s so fucking lucky to have every single one of them.

~*~

A month later, they find the Altean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FluffFluffFluff and smut. And Bottom Shiro! I love Bottom Shiro and I'm so happy I finally got to put that into this fic. Also I have dubbed the Pidge/Leifsdottir ship Leifgreen because it's cute as hell and accurate and I will make it a thing because they're adorable.  
> But, I am sad to say that this is all I can post until S8 drops in December. I will write it out and get it posted as fast as I can once it does drop, but for now, this is goodbye. I'm still posting other Sheith fics (TLABL, SOBAW, some more coming up in the near future) so if you like my writing and have not yet read those, maybe check them out! If not, I shall see you all after the end. <3
> 
> I'm an atom in a sea of nothing  
> Looking for another to combine  
> Maybe we could be the start of something  
> Be together at the start of time  
> There's a ghost upon the moor tonight  
> Now it's in our house  
> When you walked into the room just then  
> It's like the sun came out  
> It's like the sun came out  
> And the day is clear  
> My voice is just a whisper  
> Louder than the screams you hear  
> It's like the sun came out   
> \- Start of Time, Gabrielle Aplin


	42. Unknown Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, it's been a while but we can now finish this monstrosity of a fic. Woohoo.  
> But guess the fuck what, y’all, I’m really upset about S8. The shipping stuff, whatever, but Keith and Shiro hardly spoke all season and the Allura thing was a little bit bullshit. But fanfiction is a thing and I can let people be happy because this story is about Keith and Shiro and the deep bond they have and they will get their happy ending, at least here if nowhere else.  
> I have more ranting to do, but not here. Please, enjoy.

Keith wakes the morning before the Atlas launch feeling a mess of emotions. Trepidation over this random Altean girl (Luca, Romelle had called her), sadness over leaving Earth again, eagerness about finishing the fight once and for all, and overlying it all, a haze of giddiness he hasn’t been able to shake since he put a certain ring on a certain finger.

Said ring is not on his finger at present. Instead it has found a home on the same leather cord as the jade bead. Keith doesn’t want to risk losing it in the heat of battle, after all.

“Keith?”

Gentle fingers comb through his hair and Keith sighs, opening an eye and glancing up at his fiancé (the novelty of that title hasn’t quite worn off yet).

“Mmph.”

Shiro smiles and leans down to press a kiss to the side of his head. “Get up, baby. We have to do some final preparations so we can launch tomorrow.”

“Ungh.”

Shiro rolls his eyes. “Come on. It’s not like it’s six AM.”

“Only because I wore you out so much last night.” Keith says smugly.

While Shiro sputters over that, Keith hauls himself into a sitting position and stretches. The wolf’s head pops up over the side of the bed, tail thumping against the floor.

“Morning, buddy.” Keith hums, scratching the canine behind the ears.

He gets up and dresses in the old orange uniform (their new ones are being resized or re-designed or re-something he can’t remember before their departure) and follows Shiro into the meeting room where they go over final details of the next day’s launch.

“I have one more item to discuss.” Shiro says as they wrap up their reports. “It’s our last night on Earth, and we’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of us.  We may not be back home for years. So I’m ordering you, take some time for yourselves. Be with the ones you love. You’ve earned it. Dismissed.”

As the others around the table get up and exit the room, Keith catches Lance’s eye and gives him a hard look. Lance nods and runs after Allura. Hunk winks at him and follows the Red Paladin out. Keith sighs and leans back against his chair. Lance had better ask Allura out today or he swears to god he’s gonna lock them in a room together.

“Hey,”

Keith turns a little and smiles up at Shiro. “Hi.”

“Dinner at my family’s tonight? Ka-san’s making your favorite.”

Keith hums. “Yeah, Mom and Kolivan are looking forward to it.”

“Excellent.” Shiro leans down and kisses Keith’s forehead. “I have a few more things to take care of before we can head out. Why don’t you go spend time with your mother?”

“I will.”

He gets another kiss and a hand squeezing his shoulder before Shiro departs.

Keith stands, stretches, then goes to find his mother. He spends an hour with her before she’s called away to help with something Blade related, so he ends up taking the wolf out and sitting on Black’s muzzle, watching the desert sun make its way across the sky. He missed the desert like nothing else, and he’s glad to be able to say a proper goodbye this time, even though it’s hard. Desert sunsets will always be his favorite thing, and they’ve been made even more special now, with the memory of Shiro’s proposal fresh in his mind.

He hears clattering behind him, accompanied by an annoyed grunt. “Man, you can be a real hard guy to find when you wanna be.”

Keith smirks. “Hey Lance-” he starts, turning, then jumps when he catches sight of his best friend. “Whoa! _What_ are you wearing!?”

Lance sighs and sits, taking off the bucket that had been perched unsteadily on his head. “Coran made it for me for my date with Allura.”

Keith grins. “She said yes? Lance, that’s awesome! Way to go, buddy.”

“Thanks, but it could be our last. I can’t keep all these Altean customs straight.”

Keith reaches out and squeezes Lance’s shoulder. “Listen, if she’s going out with you, it’s because she likes you. The annoying, stupid, Earth version of you.”

That earns him a small smile and a laugh. The Red Paladin looks out at the horizon. “You watching the sun set?”

“Yeah, might be a while before we get to see it again.”

Lance hums. “Man, I’m really gonna miss this place.”

“That’s why we’ve gotta end this war. And we’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the Paladin of the Red Lion, the Lance who’s always got my back, and the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.”

He looks over and smiles, and Lance laughs again, leaning against him. “When’d you get so sappy?”

Keith shrugs. “I blame my recent engagement.”

“Speaking of which, shouldn’t you be with Shiro? Probably boning each other into the mattress?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “You do know we’re not _always_ having sex, right?”

“Of course I do. Now, for example.”

“I will shove you off this lion, McClain.”

Lance nudges him playfully and shakes his head. “Seriously though, why aren’t you with him?”

“He had to finish up a few things. We’re meeting at his family’s for dinner with them and my mom and Kolivan.” He smirks. “And _then_ we’ll bone each other into the mattress.”

“Dude.”

“What? You’re the one who brought it up. Besides, we’ve gotta practice in order to properly christen the Atlas’s Captains Quarters tomorrow night.”

_“Dude!”_

Keith laughs as Lance shoves him into the wolf.

~*~

Dinner that night is delicious as always. Sachiko’s cooking is quickly becoming one of Keith’s favorite things. She sends all four of them home that night with stacks of bento and an order for all of them to be careful “doing that universe saving thing. Remember, we still have a wedding to plan, so stay alive!”

Shiro laughs and hugs his mother. “I’m so pleased to know that my wedding is the main reason you want us to be safe.”

“My baby boy is getting married! What mother wouldn’t prioritize that?” She smiles and kisses Shiro’s cheek, then pulls Keith into a hug and kisses him too. “Keep an eye on each other, alright?”

“We always do.” Keith says, hugging her back.

They have a similar moment with Kolivan and Krolia when they get back to the base.

“Don’t do anything stupid, firecracker.” Krolia tells him, hugging him tight.

“No stupider than usual, at least.” Keith says, smiling.

Krolia snorts. “I’ll take what I can get.” She pulls away and takes their knife off her belt, handing it to him. “You told me to give this back when we saw each other again.”

Keith frowns at it, then up at her. “Won’t you need it?”

She smiles. “I went without it for over eighteen years, kit. Take it. I’ll feel better, knowing you have it.”

So he takes it. Who knows? With Honerva and her fuckery still out there somewhere, it might just come in handy.

Kolivan takes a turn hugging him while Krolia squeezes Shiro and tells him to watch his own ass and not just her son’s.

“Be safe, kit.”

Keith grins. “You too, old man.”

He and Shiro make their way back to their room in comfortable silence. Once they get there and crawl into bed, Shiro tells him about what happened with the Altean, and who was behind sending the creature in the first place. Keith is hardly surprised.

“I knew the bitch wouldn’t go quietly into the night.” He growls. “Which suits me just fine, actually. I have a lot of payback to get.”

Shiro kisses the top of his head. “Shh.”

“Oh, as if I’d just let her get away with torturing you and cutting off your arm and aiding in killing you and cloning you and mind-controlling your clone into trying to _kill me-”_ Keith lists off, huffing when Shiro kisses him to shut him up.

“We’ll find her.”

Keith sighs and snuggles closer into Shiro’s side. “I know.”

~*~

The next day, there is a huge crowd of people waiting to see them off. Sam gives a speech, Keith gives a speech (which he despises but hey he’s the leader of Voltron now, it’s expected of him) and then they’re off on their mission to whip the fragments of the Galra Empire back into shape.

They start with a Galra base on a small moon that’s easy enough for their limited forces to handle. It goes smoothly (aside from the random lasers) and by the time they get inside, coalition personnel have begun rendering aid to the Galra soldiers that were injured in the fight.

The paladins plus Shiro enter the bridge to see James and Kinkade standing in the middle of the room, eyes trained on a Galra man who has his back to them. The MFE pilots turn as they come in.

“This one says he’s their leader.” James tells them, and the Galra turns around.

“Whoa!” Hunk says cheerfully, walking in front of Keith and over to the soldier. “Holy Kaltenecker, what are you doing here? It’s Hunk, remember? Paladin of the Yellow Lion?”

The soldier just stares at him as Matt and Pidge sneak around them to go hunting through the base’s computer.

Hunk frowns a little. “We worked together?”

“I remember.” The Galra says coolly.

Keith walks up to Hunk and raises an eyebrow at the Galra. “Wait, you know this guy?”

“Yeah, from the Omega Shield!” Hunk tilts his head. “Oh right, you were on a space road trip with your mom. Keith, this is our friend, Lieutenant Lahn.”

 _Warlord_ Lahn makes it very clear he considers himself to be no such thing. He’s kinda pissing Keith off. He understands that the Galra doesn’t trust them, but to claim that they’re here to toss them all in a jail cell? Keith huffs a breath as Allura protests his assumptions.

“We didn’t come here to argue.” Shiro cuts in. “Warlord Lahn, we’re asking you to join the Voltron Coalition to help provide stability to the universe.”

“What’s the alternative?”

“If you want peace, if you want to end this war, there can be no alternative.”

That goes over well.

Keith sighs. “It doesn’t have to be victory or death. I know it’s the Galra way, but-”

“And what do _you_ know of the Galra?” Lahn spits.

Keith narrows his eyes. “My mother is Galra. She’s a member of the Blade of Marmora. So am I.”

“The mutinous Blades have all but perished. Are they so diminished in numbers that they’re forced to enlist a half-breed and his mommy?”

Keith feels his eye twitch, and he is about three seconds away from punching the guy in the face, but Shiro’s hand grips his shoulder.

“Keith.”

“He’d deserve it.” Keith mutters.

Before Shiro can comment on that, Pidge tells them about a signal she’s picked up, and they discover a fleet Lahn had sent out is in distress.

“We need to get out there.” Keith glances at his fiancé. “Shiro, how long before the Atlas is ready to launch again?”

Shiro sighs. “Hours. We still need to process all the Galra and prepare the planet to continue operating on its own.” He looks up at Keith. “This is our mission. We need to see this through.”

Keith nods and looks back at Lahn. “Then Voltron will go.”

“Voltron is going to save the Galra?” Lahn says incredulously. “My fleet would never believe that Voltron was there to help. They’d fight you until their last breath.”

Keith raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “That’s why you’re coming with us.”

~*~

Lahn is unhappy about this arrangement. Keith tells him that unless he wants any survivors to either die fighting Voltron or die because no help came, he was welcome to stay.

Lahn comes. Grumbling all the while, but he comes.

He spends most of the trip nose to nose with the wolf, who is making his displeasure at having this new guy aboard very, very clear. Keith doesn’t tell him to stop. It’s not like the wolf would actually _hurt_ Lahn. And it’s funny watching the giant Glara squirm in the face of the tiny (in comparison) canine.

They ask Lahn about what this fleet was up to and he and Allura snip at each other briefly about their hunt for munitions. Keith sighs. Some things never change, he guesses.

When they get to the fleet’s location, they find a scrapyard. Most of the ships have been torn to bits with only three remaining mostly intact. And only one of which boasts any life signs.

There’s no response from the ship until Lahn speaks up, but they just get the same distress code from the sentries.

Well. Plan B then.

“Paladins, Lahn and I are gonna head in first to make sure the entry point is safe. You guys jetpack in behind us.”

They get inside and find that the place is a mess. There is a ton of debris and damage from some sort of massive weapon, but there are no bodies. No signs of struggle. It’s as if the Galra aboard just disappeared.

He tells Lance and Hunk to start working through the ship while Pidge and Allura take Lahn to try and figure out what the hell happened.

“I don’t like taking orders on my own ship.” Lahn says primly.

Keith sighs. “Duly noted.”

He and the wolf start at the bow and work their way back, finding nothing. They discover one sentry trapped in a door but it deactivates before they can get it free. They keep looking. Eventually they find the sentry that had been sending out the distress signal.

“What…are…you…?” It asks haltingly.

“My name is Keith, leader of Voltron, Paladin of the Black Lion.”

“Where… are the rest… of the Galra…?”

“They’re still on planet Ryker. Why?”

“Planet… Ryker…”

Wait a second.

The sentry moves… or rather, something moves _it_ , and Keith has to use his bayard to cut the sentry in half before it can bash him in the face.

He looks up to see…

Oh _fuck_. Ranveig’s superweapon. Dammit, he _told_ his mother that setting it loose would come back to bite them!!

It attacks him with some sort of energy beam and nearly kills him before the wolf teleports him away.

He drops them on the bridge with the others and Keith ignores the others, jetting over to Lahn. “The base you sent this fleet to plunder, was it Warlord Ranveig’s?”

“Yes, it was.”

Keith grits his teeth. “Well, shit.”

“Keith, what’s going on?” Allura demands.

“The creature on this ship is a superweapon designed to destroy the Galra, and only Galra.”

“Warlord Ranveig would never create such a thing.” Lahn protests.

He quickly explains what he knows about the creature, and Lance looks at him funny.

“Wait, how do you know so much about this super monster weapon thingy?”

“Because my mother and I let it loose so we could escape Ranveig’s base.” Well, his mom did, but since she did it to keep his dumb ass alive, he’ll share the blame. “This is all my fault. I’m sorry.”

“It’s what you’ve wanted since the beginning. Something to get rid of the Galra for you.” Lahn spits.

Keith gives him a very tired look. “First of all, even if that were the case, it would be really stupid, considering I am also Galra and therefore the creature is out for my blood as well. Second of all, we are trying to save the remainder of the Galra empire from literally destroying themselves, so, cut us a little slack, yeah?” He turns to Pidge while Lance bitches Lahn out himself. “Pidge, can you initiate the self-destruct protocol?”

The answer is yes, and they only have a few minutes to get out, so of course, their luck dictates that the creature finds them only after the timer’s already started. Such is the way of things.

The thing attacks his dog, which, _not cool,_ but Hunk grabs the wolf as they jet towards the exit… which closes as he and Lahn approach it, sealing them inside with the monster. Joy of joys.

They try to pry the door open but then Keith gets thrown around by the monster and shoves Lahn out of the way when the monster tries to blast him. His shield buckles under the pressure and he’s slammed against the wall, winded.

The creature turns towards Lahn again, who growls. “Victory or death!”

Oh no, not on Keith’s watch.

He jets over and stands in front of Lahn, raising his bayard… which turns into a fucking _mini laser canon_ that blasts the creature back against the far wall and _through it_. Huh. That’s new.

He turns to Lahn with a scowl. “Do you trust me yet?”

He shoulders past the Galra and uses his new bayard form to cut through the door, and then the outer hull, just as the monster comes back. But they escape just in the nick of time, as they do, and the lions scoop them up and get them out of the blast radius.

“Good girl.” Keith sighs as his seat slides into place. Black grumbles in the back of his mind, something about _danger-prone cubs_ , before they re-form Voltron and head back to Ryker.

“You saved my life.”

Keith turns and sees Lahn kneeling on the floor, helmet off, and looking a little shell-shocked.

“Yes, I did.” Keith says. “Twice.”

“Why? Why not let it kill me? You could have bought yourself time to escape.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Because that would make us no better than Zarkon, now would it? He abused his people and tossed them aside. We would never do that. We don’t _use_ people. We help them.”

Lahn is quiet for a moment. “Thank you, Black Paladin.”

Keith snorts. “Call me Keith.”

“Keith.” Lahn nods. “Perhaps… Voltron is not so bad after all.”

“’Bout damn time.” Keith mutters, but allows himself a small smile.

~*~

When they get back to Ryker, Lahn makes a speech to the rest of his people, urging them to join the coalition, and then shakes Keith’s hand.

“I look forward to seeing what Voltron’s idea for a secure future looks like.” He says, then glances behind Keith, to Shiro.

“Your mate is honorable, Captain. You are lucky indeed.”

Keith coughs. Well, that was… unexpected.

Shiro just smiles. “I know.”

Aaand now he’s blushing.

They head back to the Atlas later, and Shiro pulls him aside and kisses him.

“Proud of you.” He says gently.

Keith blinks up at him. “For… what?”

Shiro tucks a lock of Keith’s hair behind his ear. “Can’t I just be proud of my honorable mate?”

Keith groans and lets his head fall against Shiro’s shoulder. “Shoulda let the thing eat him.” He mutters, causing Shiro to laugh.

Things sober a little when they get to the bridge. Pidge has intel on a possible ro-beast sighting.

Shiro is clearly torn between continuing the liberation efforts and pursuing Honerva’s beasts, so Keith helps him out a little.

“We can’t just change course.” Shiro is saying.

“Maybe you don’t have to.”

Shiro looks up at him, frowning. “Keith, what are you saying?”

“We split up.” He says simply. “The Atlas will continue working with the Galra while Voltron searches for Honerva and her beasts.”

Shiro nods. “That could work. As we liberate areas and find any relevant data, we can pass it along to you, try to make your search go a little smoother.”

Keith grins. “You were thinking the same thing already, weren’t you, superman?”

Shiro shrugs. “It makes the most sense.”

“But, they’ll be out there alone, with no backup.” Some guy pipes up. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

Shiro turns to look at his officer with a raised eyebrow. “You’re talking about _Voltron_. Trust me,” he looks back and smiles at Keith, “this won’t be the worst thing they’ve gone through.”

“Not by a long shot.” Keith agrees.

They get supplies loaded into the Lions, and Shiro and Coran come to the Voltron hangar to see them off.

“Be safe, please.” Shiro tells him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“What happened to ‘not the worst thing we’ve ever done’?” Keith teases, nuzzling into Shiro’s neck.

“Just because I know you can handle anything doesn’t mean I won’t worry about you. All of you.” He pulls away and cups Keith’s cheek in his human hand. “Be careful, baby.”

“I promise.” Keith leans up and kisses him gently. “See you soon.”

Then they leave the Atlas and go off on what Keith desperately hopes is not a wild goose chase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Border line, dead inside  
> I don't mind falling to pieces  
> Count me in, violent  
> Let's begin, feeding the sickness  
> How do I simplify,  
> Dislocate - the enemy's on the way.  
> Show me what it's like  
> To dream in black and white,  
> So I can leave this world tonight  
> \- Unknown Soldier, Breaking Benjamin
> 
> In case any of you are equally unhappy about the stuff in S8, and have not yet signed the petition, I shall link it [right here](https://www.change.org/p/dreamworks-voltron-season-8-release-the-original-the-showrunners-wanted). And if you're interested, [this article](https://geekdad.com/2018/12/how-the-end-of-voltron-legendary-defender-exemplifies-the-quarantining-of-queerness-in-animation/) nicely explains why Shiro's shotgun wedding was a Bad Move. I shared it to my whole family and they all found it to be a good read.  
> Now, I'm going to continue with the once a week posting that I started before I went on Break (and that I had to go back to with Part 5 of TLABL) because my real life has gotten very hectic and tiring. Plus we do only have a handful of chapters left so, gotta make it last. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday (whatever you celebrate) and I shall see you again in the new year!


	43. This is War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, if you saw my previous panic-y notes, please ignore them. Have the proper chapter 43 with additional scenes and better proof-reading.   
> Happy New Year, everyone!

Three days later, it seems that a wild goose chase is exactly what’s happening.

Hunk can’t think, Keith’s brain feels like soup, Lance is speaking in monotone, and Pidge yawns every three seconds. The only one still remotely alert is Allura, who is pushing them to find this elusive beast. With information that is possibly six months out of date, given what Lahn had said about how long his fleet had been gone.

They finally convince Allura to stop by Olkarion while they’re in the area. The Olkari would be a massive help in locating the ro-beast, and it would give them a much needed break, so away they go.

And encounter a Weblum, which Keith was hoping to never _ever_ see again in his entire goddamn life. They manage to avoid it’s laser but discover it’s _also_ making its way to Olkarion, so they need to get there first. And find the place in ruins. Seems that ro-beast they were looking for had decided to pay their long-time allies a little visit.

Keith grits his teeth as he walks through the crumbling city full of ash and smoke. Honerva will pay _dearly_ for this transgression.

They have to fight the weblum so Pidge can mind-link with the planet to discover anything useful, but it works, and Pidge tells them the Olkari are still awesome and found a way to track the ro-beasts. And that some of them are still very much alive.

But before they can go fetch the survivors, they need to get the Atlas. They need to upload their new information and they need the extra space in order to transport all the refugees to somewhere safe. So they call Shiro.

“Voltron to Atlas, you copy?” Keith says after opening the correct channel.

A moment, then – “This is Atlas. Good to hear from you, Voltron.” Shiro’s voice is soft and fond, and the other paladins groan.

Keith smiles. “Good to hear from you, too.”

“You guys, we’re on an official channel! Be gross and sappy on your own time!” Lance grouses.

“Sorry,” Keith mutters. “We found something.”

“Something that could help us track Honerva and all of her beasts.” Allura adds.

Shiro calls the rest of his bridge crew before letting Allura continue. They explain what they’d found and arrange a spot to meet.

“See you soon.” Keith says, and can’t help but smile when Shiro sighs wistfully.

“Soon.” His fiancé says, then the line cuts out.

“You guys need to get a fucking room.” Pidge mutters.

“We have a fucking room.” Keith says smugly. “And we cannot wait to be back there, making good use of it.”

Loud groans echo through the comms.

“I think I’m starting to miss surly, silent, antisocial Keith who hated all of us.” Hunk sighs.

“Too late, you’re all stuck with me.”

“I believe we are all quite content with that.” Allura says fondly.

“Damn straight.”

They start headed towards the rendezvous point, but not long after, they receive a message from the Atlas changing the meeting place to a planet in a star system a little closer to their location.

Keith frowns at the message and wonders why Shiro didn’t just comm them. Something feels a little off about this change. He tells the others as much.

And that’s about the time the fake Atlas shows up, and then their lions are pinned.

They sprint through the calcified forest, trying to escape a very persistent drone, that can somehow pick up on them even without thermals, but Keith manages to destroy it soon after.

Only to find out that the thing had a way to track their suits _and_ bayards.

“Can’t we just turn our suits off?” Lance asks.

“Negative.” Pidge sighs. “And if the drone had our encryption protocol, then so does that cruiser and anyone on it. If we want to avoid detection, we need to lose our suits _and_ our bayards.”

“Remove our armor? In this place?” Allura asks incredulously.

“Has anyone read the atmosphere? Oxygen low, CO2 high? We’re not gonna last long, a few hours tops. We need our suits to survive.” Hunk reminds them.

“At this point, we’ll survive longer without them.” Keith sighs.

“So keep our suits on and risk getting blasted, or take our suits off and live long enough before dying of poisoned air.” Lance deadpans.

“We have no choice.” Keith sighs, and with that, the others strip out of their suits. Lance raises an eyebrow when he sees Keith has left his on.

“Uh, buddy?”

“I’m going to keep mine on and head towards the volcano.” He explains, pointing up at the smoking mountain. “Hopefully they’ll follow the one signal they have that’s moving and you guys can get back to the lions and get them free without having to worry about fighting.”

“But, you won’t have a weapon once you do remove your armor.” Allura points out.

“Yeah, I will.” He pulls out his luxite blade. “Thank god Mom insisted I take it.”

They agree to come find Keith once they have the lions and with that, Keith starts hiking to and then up the volcano. Once he reaches the top, he strips out of his own suit and props it up so that anyone approaching would think he’s still in it, then he finds a crevice to hide in and activates his blade.

And then he waits.

~*~

Shiro enters the bridge, frowning when he sees Acxa and Veronica hovering around the comms.

“They’re still doing repairs?”

“Seems so.” Veronica mutters.

Shiro huffs and walks up behind the two women. “Keith? Are you sure you don’t need our help? You know all you have to do is ask.”

“Negative, Captain, we can handle it. Thank you for your concern though, sir.” The smooth voice of his fiancé says over the radio.

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “All right, see you soon.” Then he reaches over and mutes the channel, keeping it open for them to analyze.

“Run a diagnostic on that signal.” He tells his analyst.

“Captain? Is something wrong?”

“Keith would never call me Captain, or sir, without a very heavy dose of sarcasm.” Shiro says quietly, returning to the middle of the bridge and triggering the red alert. “No way in hell.”

Turns out, Voltron’s true signal had been diverted, and that they’d sent several distress calls to the Atlas about an hour ago.

“Everyone to battle stations, now!” Shiro barks across the ship-wide comm.

 _Hang on, Keith_. He thinks grimly, gripping the console in front of him. _I’m coming._

They track the lions to a planet one system over from the one they’d arranged to meet Voltron in. The source of the false signal turns out to be a Galra battle cruiser that they easily subdue. They find one lone Olkari and bring him aboard the ship, where Shiro and Acxa are waiting for him.

“Sophisticated hacking and jamming abilities. Impressive. It’s nice to find others on my level.”

“Yeah, it’s terrific, now where’s your leader?” Shiro says tersely.

“I don’t know. I lost her signal when you attacked. But she’s out there somewhere, hunting the paladin you call ‘Keith’.”

Shiro doesn’t realize his arm has moved until it’s holding the Olkari up by the collar, several feet in the air.

“What does she want with Keith?” Shiro growls.

“I, I don’t know!” The Olkari squeaks, seemingly now understanding the position he’s in. “She, she said she needed to make him pay!”

“Pay for what?” He snaps.

“I don’t know, I swear!”

Shiro curses and drops the Olkari, who falls on his ass with a grunt.

“Find him. _Now_.” Shiro hisses to Veronica, who’d approached when he’d been holding the Olkari.

“Yes sir.”

Acxa continues to grill the Olkari, but Shiro ignores them, gritting his teeth and turning on his heel, stalking towards the armory to grab his suit. He’s not letting this pirate, whoever she is, lay a hand on Keith.

~*~

Keith knocks out the pirate that finds his suit, but figures there’s more where she came from. He begins climbing higher up the volcano but stops when he realizes there is a massive form standing before him.

The pirate reaches up and unclasps her helmet, letting it drop to the ground so Keith can see her face.

“Zethrid.” Keith sighs. He was wondering when she’d come for them. After what happened with Ezor, there was no way she’d leave them alone.

“You took Ezor from me!” The woman shouts, then tries to punch him. Repeatedly. He manages to dodge all her swings, but barely, and she’s pulverizing a lot of rocks, and his blade doesn’t seem to be causing her much damage. Rage must make her stronger or something.

She kicks his ass, and then almost throws him into the lava. He stands shakily as she advances, holding his blade in shaking hands.

“I don’t know what you think I did,” He pants out, but she stops him.

“You took away everything. And now my face will be the last one you see.”

She rushes him and catches his blade when he brings it up to stop her. She tosses it to the side and grips him by the throat, lifting him into the air.

He chokes out a strangled breath and tries to pull her fingers free, to no effect. Fuck, fuck, this is not good. He can’t let the others know where he is and the lions and the Atlas are god knows where and… this is bad.

Bur before Zethrid can strangle him or toss him int the lava, the MFEs fly past and Zethrid growls, dropping him then pulling him close with an arm across his throat. She pulls out a blaster as Shiro and Acxa drop to the ground before them.

“Keith!” Shiro shouts, taking an aborted step forwards before Zethrid presses the blaster to the side of the Black Paladin’s head.

“Zethrid, don’t do this!” Acxa pleads.

Zethrid sneers. “Ah, both of you came, how fortunate. That makes this even better.” The gun presses tighter against Keith’s head and he hisses as the hot metal burns his temple. “Now you’ll feel what I felt.”

“Let him go.” Shiro says through gritted teeth. “Now.”

“Or what? You’re just a washed-up paladin wanna-be. How far the Champion has fallen.”

Shiro just grits his teeth, fingers of his prosthetic curling into a fist.

“It’s over.” Acxa says calmly, holding up her hands. “You’re surrounded.”

“You think this deters me, Acxa? I welcome death, now that Ezor’s gone.”

Acxa sighs and removes her helmet. “Zethrid, I know you hurt. Ezor hurt too. That’s why she left you.”

And there it is. Keith still remembers the day the orange-skinned woman had come to Earth in near-hysterics.

 _“I can’t do this anymore_.” She’d told Acxa. _“I just… I just want to go back to how it was. Before all this mess. I just want things to go back to normal.”_

_“Ezor, where is Zethrid?”_

She’d grit her teeth, eyes watering. _“Not here.”_

That had been three weeks before they’d left Earth. Acxa had warned them that Zethrid wouldn’t take it well. It seems now that that had been a bit of an understatement.

“She couldn’t keep holding on to the anger.” Acxa continues, and Zethrid growls.

“Stop!”

Acxa tries to talk Zethrid down, convince her to join her and Ezor, but…

“I’m too far gone. She’ll never take me back!”

Zethrid’s arm tightens around Keith’s throat and he chokes, hands flying up to scrabble ineffectively against the woman’s forearm.

“Keith!” Shiro starts to move forwards again, but Zethrid’s grip just tightens in response.

“Don’t let the rage control you,” Acxa implores.

“All I have left is revenge!” Zethrid lifts the blaster, aiming it at the two in front of her, and a shot goes off.

Zethrid cries out and releases Keith, who falls to his knees coughing.

He turns just in time to see her fall over the edge, and he acts without thinking, throwing himself forwards and grabbing her wrist before she can plummet into the lava below.

Fuck, she’s heavy. He grits his teeth and pulls, but he can feel himself slipping further and further forwards… fuck he’s going over…

An arm wraps securely around his waist and a large metal hand closes on his own, still wrapped around Zethrid’s wrist.

“Shiro,” Keith sighs, sagging.

“I gotcha, baby.” Shiro murmurs.

Together, the two of them manage to haul the Galra woman back onto stable ground.

She hisses, clutching at her shoulder as a security team lands and moves to surround her. She looks up at Keith with narrowed eyes.

“Why did you do that?”

Keith huffs a ragged breath, leaning against Shiro and making his fiancé take his weight. God, he’s tired.

“I’m not Lotor.”

Zethrid’s jaw clenches, and she lowers her head.

Acxa goes with the security team to take Zethrid back to the Atlas while Shiro runs around gathering Keith’s armor and discarded blade before rushing him into another shuttle that takes him straight to the med bay.

“You worry too much, Shirogane.” Keith grumbles after the doctors tell him he’ll live. But since he’s laying on one of the gurneys with an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, the effect is slightly dampened.

Shiro smiles and takes Keith’s hand, rubbing little circles into the back of it with his thumb. “Can’t help it, love you too much.”

Keith sighs and closes his eyes. “Missed you.”

A kiss is pressed to his forehead. “I missed you too, baby.”

A few minutes later, the others find him.

“Whoa! Keith are you okay?” Lance yelps, hurrying over to Keith’s free side.

“Fine, just, short on oxygen. As it turns out, getting the shit kicked out of you and then choked by a massive Galra lady with anger issues on a carbon-dioxide planet is a bad idea.”

“Jesus, Keith, what the hell happened?” Pidge asks from where she and the others are still standing by the door.

He gives them all a brief rundown of his fight with Zethrid and the ensuing standoff.

“And then I almost fell in lava trying to save her. Thankfully Shiro has good reflexes.” Keith shrugs.

“Your fiancé is very danger prone.” Pidge says to Shiro, who groans and puts his head on the sheets next to Keith.

“Don’t remind me.”

Keith laughs and pets through Shiro’s hair. “You still love me.”

“Well, duh.”

Keith rolls his eyes, then sits up a little. “Shit, I forgot, I need to go get Black.”

“Actually, she followed the rest of us up when we brought our lions in.” Hunk tells him.

Allura smiles. “I think she was worried about her cubs.”

“Well,” Keith says, sitting back with a raised eyebrow, “good then.”

“Cubs?” Shiro asks, lifting his head to look at Allura. The princess rolls her eyes.

“Oh please, Shiro, you may not be her paladin anymore, but you’re still _hers_ as far as she’s concerned.”

Shiro blinks rapidly at that. “Oh.”

Keith sighs and lets himself relax back into the sheets. Shiro really could be so dense, sometimes.

He doesn’t leave the med bay for several hours after that. Not because the doctors wanted him there, but because Shiro was fretting so much. He finally convinces his worrywart fiancé that yes, he’s _fine_ Takashi can we please go back to our room now?

But even once they get back to the captain’s quarters, Shiro fusses. He bundles Keith up in all the blankets they have and curls around him like the overprotective marshmallow he’s always been. Keith sighs fondly.

“I love you, but seriously, I’m fine now.”

“I know.” Shiro mumbles, pressing a kiss to the side of Keith’s neck. “It just… scared me.”

Keith hums and nuzzles the top of Shiro’s head. “We’re okay, Takashi.”

“I know.”

They speak quietly for a while, mostly about locating and aiding the surviving Olkari, then they fall asleep, still holding each other close.

~*~

The lions lead the Atlas to the Olkari escape ships the next day. Pidge is adamant about sending a team to escort the survivors back to Earth. The Olkari had opened up their home when Voltron needed somewhere to go, so they should do the same.

“I’ll find some people and get on it.” Shiro promises her. “Who is their acting leader?”

“I haven’t met them yet. They’re on the farthest ship.”

“Then let’s go tell them what’s going on.” Keith says.

All the ships are now loaded into one of the empty hangers, so he and Pidge head down there to find the new Olkari leader.

Turns out, she’s not so new.

“Reiner?” Pidge asks in a quavering voice.

The elderly Olkari looks up from where she’d been watching one of the med techs splint her arm and smiles.

“Hello, Pidge.”

“I, I thought you were dead. When I saw the evacuation on Olkarion, I didn’t… you didn’t board the ships.”

Keith reaches out to steady Pidge, who is listing to the side in shock and relief.

Reiner reaches out and takes the girls hand, squeezing it gently. “I boarded the last one, once I was sure all of my people were safe. I am not surprised to hear you were able to see it. I was hoping you would.”

Pidge stays with the woman and the other Olkari for the rest of the day. Keith checks on her occasionally, just to make sure everyone’s alright, and at one point spots Leifsdottir sitting next to Pidge and Reiner as the Green Paladin babbles on about Olkari tech. Leifsdottir is smiling fondly.

Keith grins and walks out without talking to them.

~*~

After the Olkari are sent to Earth with their promised escort, the Atlas crew begins using their data to try and locate where Honerva might be hiding. Turns out, she’s in Oriande, and Allura is _pissed_.

And she’s trying to drain essentially an entire galaxy’s quintessence for… some reason. Who knows how many people could die if she gets her way.

“The only way for us to stop them is by going directly to Oriande.”

Keith pushes himself to his feet. “Then that’s what Voltron is gonna do.”

“The Atlas will accompany you, but we don’t have time to wait for the rest of the coalition.” Shiro tells him, and Keith nods in acknowledgment before turning his attention to Sam.

“Contact Matt, let him know that the rebels are gonna be in charge of the evacuation efforts for the occupied planets. They shouldn’t expect assistance.”

“Then we are in agreement. It is time to begin our assault on Oriande.” Allura says grimly.

Shiro stands. “We all know what we have to do. MFE pilots, get to your ships. Everyone else, battle stations. We all know what’s at stake here. Dismissed.”

The majority of the room gets up and exits, leaving only the six paladins behind.

“This is gonna be… bad.” Hunk says quietly. “Like, even if we win, they’re already harvesting quintessence. A lot of people are gonna die.”

“We have to be quick, then.” Keith says. “We have to do what we can.”

“We always do.” Allura sighs. “I just hope this time it will be enough.”

“This isn’t the first grave situation we’ve found ourselves in,” Shiro tells her gently, “and it won’t be the last. We’ve always come through it in one piece.”

“Well not all of us.” Keith mutters, and Shiro gives him an exasperated look.

“Barring my unfortunate sojourn in the Black Lion, we’ve always come through. This will be no different.”

“Let’s hope you’re right, Shiro.” Lance huffs, sinking low in his chair. “I could really do without my best friend becoming catatonic again.”

“Hear, hear.” Pidge mutters.

“All right, let’s just… go kill the bitch, okay?” Keith sighs, standing.

The paladins all file out of the meeting room, but Shiro places a hand on Keith’s shoulder, stilling him.

“I know, superman.” Keith sighs, turning to face his fiancé. “I’ll be careful.”

Shiro smiles sheepishly. “I’m that predictable, huh?”

Keith shrugs, then leans up to kiss Shiro. “I just know you too well.”

“Well thank god for that, then.” Shiro hums, pulling him into a hug. “See you on the other side.”

“Oh you’d better. You be careful too, yeah?”

“I promise, sweetheart.”

“Well, good.”

Then Keith pulls away from Shiro and heads down to get changed. Today is gonna be hell, he just knows it.

~*~

And as usual, he was correct.

The assault on Oriande is _terrible_. They meet resistance from at least a half dozen ro-beasts, the Atlas is getting its ass kicked despite going into robot-mode, and Honerva has just now killed the all-powerful white lion that is supposed to be the guardian of Oriande (he guesses he knows why Alfor made the Voltron ships _lions_ now).

They get their asses handed to them, because while they’ve defeated one of these ro-beasts before and know its weakness, they are apparently not very good at handling _two_ _at the same time_. They fail to reach the witch in time and so are powerless to stop her from doing _exactly_ what she planned to do.

Honerva summons Lotor (or at least, Lotor’s mech, it seems the lights are on but nobody’s home, so to speak), and it goes berserk. It pummels them around mercilessly before effortlessly separating them. Voltron is split, and the lions are offline. This does not bode well.

~*~

Atlas is getting pummeled and Shiro is getting frustrated.

The ro-beasts are kicking their asses, much like the one on Earth had, but there’s more of them, and as powerful as Atlas is, she’s very slow. He can feel her tiring under the constant assault, even without Veronica’s updates about the state of their shields.

He scrambles the MFEs, hoping they’ll be able to better hit the ro-beasts’ weak points, but before they can do anything, Veronica tells him Zethrid and her Olkari hacker have somehow broken out of their cell and are headed straight for the bridge. He grits his teeth. He doesn’t have time for this. They need to get through the blockade, Voltron _needs_ backup.

“Sir, Zethrid’s almost here!”

But apparently, he needs to deal with this first.

He whirls and points his gun at the door. “Prepare for a breach!” He grits out. God, he hopes they can contain this quickly. The MFEs need Atlas to cover them, and Voltron needs them to keep these ro-bests off of them so they can deal with Honerva. They cannot afford an attempted hijacking right now.

The door opens, and Zethrid is there, holding up a hand. “We’re here to help!” She says quickly.

“What?” Shiro bites out, taking a second to process this. “How did you even escape?”

_Not important right now, Shirogane, you need to get back to the fight. They need you._

Zethrid tells him the Olkari can help, and god do they need it so Shiro acquiesces.

The Olkari does something that lets Atlas project copies of herself, greatly confusing the ro-beasts, and letting them save Rizavi from getting killed, just in the nick of time.

Shiro sags in relief as the MFEs take care of the ro-beasts… before they get hit with a huge pulse of energy that forces them back into ship-form.

“It came from the white hole!” Coran tells him, trying to read the screen while also trying not to drift off. The blast had knocked out their artificial gravity.

The white hole. Oriande. Honerva. Voltron.

What the hell was happening in there?

~*~

Keith growls and tries for a long time to probe Black into responding, but it’s like she got knocked out or something, because he doesn’t feel anything from her. He can still see out the viewscreen but that’s about it. So he sees when Lance regains control of Red, and that’s when he notices something.

The Sincline is attacking not just them (which, _ow_ , prolonged time in the quintessence field apparently acts a lot like steroids, _Jesus)_ but the Altean-powered ro-beasts as well. Because when one of them gets between Lance and the Sincline, the Sincline destroys it without hesitation, then it tries to cut the Red Lion in half.

Honerva stops it. Keith hisses. That’s… bad.

He sees Allura sneaking up behind the witch with her bayard activated, and that’s _worse_ , because if Honerva dies now, there’ll be nothing stopping the Sincline from killing Lance.

Allura seems to realize this too, and bypasses the witch, landing beyond the platform where Honerva is standing. Then the temple of Oriande reveals itself as Honerva’s very own castle ship and quickly fucks off.

Keith grits his teeth. She won. She fucking won, and they can’t do anything about it. At least not today.

Allura gets back to her lion just as Black and the others come back online. Then they have to very quickly escape, or they’ll be trapped in Oriande because for some reason the white hole is closing.

They manage it, and once they’re back on the Atlas, they allow themselves a moment to take in the sheer magnitude of the shit they’re in now.

Whatever Honerva brought Lotor(‘s mech) back for, it cannot be good.

~*~

Shiro nearly has a heart attack when Veronica tells him the white hole is beginning to collapse, but then his grip tightens on his console.

No, they’ll make it. He has faith in every one of the paladins. And Keith had promised to stay safe. They’ll come back.

He grits his teeth. “How long do we have?” He asks Veronica.

“Minutes? Seconds? It’s impossible to be sure with these surges.”

He looks towards the viewscreen again. “Coran, move us into position to intercept.”

“Adjusting heading!”

“Sam, I need every ounce of power you can give us.”

_“Pulling energy from all systems!”_

Shiro takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “They’ll come.”

They always make it out.

“The white hole’s about to collapse!” Veronica warns, but just then, Coran jolts.

“They’re here!”

Shiro sags in relief as he sees the five dots come out of the blank white space. He knew they’d come.

“Coran, I need a wormhole, now!”

The blue portal opens, and the Atlas pushes through, the lions slipping in along the edges.

It closes just as Shiro hears an explosion behind them.

He sighs and pushes his fringe back with shaking fingers. That had been a little too close for comfort.

“Good work, everyone. We all got out in one piece, and I consider that a win.”

He looks over at Zethrid, Ezor, and the Olkari. “And thank you. We couldn’t have done it without your help.”

The Olkari preens, and Zethrid nods. “Well, I did kind of owe your mate for saving my life.”

Shiro huffs a laugh. “Still. Thank you. Now, speaking of Keith… Iverson, you have the bridge.”

He turns and hurries out of the room and towards the elevator, taking it down to the lions’ hangar.

He finds the paladins huddled together in a circle, grim expressions on their faces.

“Keith.”

His fiancé looks up as he gets close, and Shiro cups his cheek in his metal palm, searching those pensive eyes for any sign of what could be wrong.

“What happened?” He asks quietly, before looking around at the others. “What happened in there?”

Silence.

“Guys?”

“We lost.” Keith hisses, fingers curling into fists.

Shiro’s brow furrows. “Lost how?”

“Honerva managed to bring Lotor and the Sincline mech out of the quintessence field, and they all got away.” Allura answers in a fragile voice.

Shiro’s jaw clenches. “We’ll find them.”

“Well, yeah, but what’s gonna happen in the meantime?” Pidge asks quietly.

“We’ll do what we can for the people who have been displaced, and try and locate where the witch has gone.” Shiro answers. “We can’t stop doing what we do. This is a blow, yes, but we will stop her. We’ve defeated Zarkon, Sendak, Lotor once already, and Honerva will be no different. We might have lost the battle, but the war is still in our favor.”

Keith huffs and leans into Shiro’s side. “You’re still the best at motivational speeches, superman. Thanks.” He glances up at Shiro. “For the record, we weren’t planning on giving up.”

“I know. It’s not in your nature. Any of your natures.” He looks around at all of them, suddenly very fond. “You’re paladins, and you are the strongest men and women I have ever had the privilege to know. We’ll get this done.”

Everyone stares at him for several minutes.

“Alright, that’s it, group up on Shiro!” Keith orders, and they all rush him. Suddenly he and Keith are in the middle of a group hug (a memory tickles the back of his mind, of a time just like this).

“We will get it done, Shiro.” Keith tells him as they’re squeezed within an inch of their lives.

“We always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning to the prophet,  
> The liar, the honest,  
> This is war.  
> To the leader, the pariah,  
> The victor, the messiah,  
> This is war.  
> It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie,  
> The moment to live and the moment to die,  
> The moment to fight, the moment to fight,  
> To fight, to fight, to fight!  
> \- This is War, 30 Seconds to Mars
> 
> Had to work This is War in here somewhere. I just had to.  
> Two things: 1) I know one minor complaint of S8 was that Ezor should have stayed dead as it makes more sense, and I agree, but... I wanted my happy space lesbians, so I kept her alive. 2) I didn't want Reiner to be dead. I reeeeeally didn't want Reiner to be dead. And since we were never explicitly told she died, I chose to interpret that she did eventually make it on to one of the escape pods. This is my fic and I can do what I want.  
> Next chapter will be the two "fun" episodes of the season, which I will imbue with character interactions, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort, and Keith being a matchmaker for all my side-pairings. Not necessarily in that order, but it'll all be in there. See you next Wednesday, and I hope the start of your year is going well!


	44. Dusk 'til Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO FUCKING SORRY GUYS.  
> I know I went AWOL completely randomly and I feel so bad about it but my real life got really frustrating and I had a god-awful week at work and had no energy to finish the chapter but here it is (a whole fucking week late) but it's 6k of fluff and smut so that's something I guess?????

Morale is understandably very low after the Oriande Debacle, but life aboard the Atlas smooths out for a while. They’re focused on finding the Alteans in the ro-beasts that Honerva used for the ritual, because apparently now that she has what she wants, she’s left them to the void. Jesus, it really shows that she was Zarkon’s wife and Lotor’s mother. They’ve all had a nasty habit of using then abandoning people.

There are six in total (that they know of), and so far, they’ve found four. None of the Alteans are speaking, at all, to anyone. Allura is getting frustrated.

Keith’s getting frustrated too, but for different reasons. For one, Shiro is suddenly very busy with security details and coordinating with the rest of the coalition forces to try and locate the rest of the Alteans and Honerva. Keith has barely seen him (outside official meetings) all week, and of course, that’s made him grumpy. In the evenings, Shiro comes back to their room, kisses him on the cheek, and collapses into bed.

Aside from a severe lack of Shiro, Keith is getting exasperated by all the pining idiots around him. Lance and Allura are all set (thank god) and Hunk talks to Shay on a regular basis. But Pidge and Ina? James and Ryan? Hell, even Veronica and Acxa (and when the hell did _that_ happen?).

Morale needs to improve on the Atlas, and Keith thinks maybe a little matchmaking could go a long way.

He decides to warn his fiancé first.

“Hey, Takashi?” Keith murmurs, poking Shiro’s shoulder.

“Mmf.” Shiro grunts, tugging the sheets up. “Yeah?”

“I might be causing some minor chaos in the next few days.”

A pause, then Shiro rolls over and raises a very tired eyebrow at him.

“How minor are we talking?”

Keith shrugs. “Mild doses of Gay Disaster and ample amounts of Lesbian Panic.”

Shiro stares at him. “I… huh?”

“I’m playing matchmaker for our pining oblivious friends.” Keith deadpans. “And I’m going to enlist Lance and Hunk to help me.”

Shiro blinks up at him owlishly for a few moments. “Oh.” He says. “Okay, I guess. Don’t break my ship.”

Keith rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss Shiro. “Yes, dear.”

~*~

He recruits Lance and Hunk and tells them their targets. Lance is thrilled, and Hunk has a surprising amount of decent ideas.

“Operation Cupid Squad is a go!” The Red Paladin trills as they help Hunk make cupcakes in the kitchen. “Are you sure we can’t put an aphrodisiac in these?”

“No.” Keith and Hunk say in exasperated unison.

“Aw.”

They start with Pidge and Ina, because Pidge is one of theirs and once she’s happy, they can enlist her to help with the others. The plan is simple, yet genius. Hunk is going to ask them to help him test-taste a bunch of recipes, then very carefully start commenting on robots and science and other things the two can talk about for hours. Then once they get going, all he has to do is step out and leave them to it.

Lance and Keith watch from the kitchen, peering through a cracked open door.

“How is this going to get them to kiss?” Lance whispers, brow furrowing. “They’re just eating and talking, they do that all the time.”

“Just wait.” Keith mutters. “Hunk swears he’s got this figured out, and he and Pidge are really close. I trust him on this.”

Lance grunts, and they watch Hunk shrug and say something else to the two girls that has them jabbering away to each other again. Then Hunk smiles, sets down the last tray he’s carrying, and says something else with a raised eyebrow.

Suddenly, Pidge and Ina stop talking and glance at each other. Pidge says something quietly, and Ina nods, then they’re smiling at each other.

Hunk takes that moment to bow out, and as he does, Keith sees Ina reach out and take Pidge’s hand.

“Dude,” Lance says as Hunk appears beside them. “What did you say to them?”

Hunk shrugs, smiling broadly. “We were talking about all the cool new computer algorithms that were coming out before the invasion, and I mentioned the one that can accurately predict sexuality. I also pointed out that the two of them would have gotten the same result if they’d used it, and left.”

“That’s it?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow and looking back to see Pidge and Ina sitting much closer than they were before.

“That’s it. They’re two of the smartest people we know, guys. They can work through all the implications themselves.”

Keith tilts his head, then nods. “Good point.”

“I don’t get it, what implications?” Lance asks. Keith sighs and pats his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Lance, it’s not your fault you’re straight.”

“It implies that they can acknowledge they’ve been flirting as there’s no risk of one of them wanting something the other’s not willing to give, because now they both know the other’s ace.” Hunk says.

“I, still don’t think I get it but as long as they’re happy, I guess.” Lance sighs.

Keith looks at the both of them and nods once. “Alright, excellent job, boys. Now once Pidge comes down off cloud nine, we’ll recruit her to help us with Veronica and Acxa. Trust me when I say that James and Ryan will be both the easiest and the hardest, so we’ll save them for last.”

Hunk and Lance both nod along, then Lance freezes.

“Wait, Acxa and _my sister!?_ ”

“You, you really didn’t notice?” Hunk asks, brow furrowing.

“Notice what!?”

“How they’ve been giving each other goo-goo eyes since we got back on board?”

“ _What!?_ ”

“Ugh, straight boys.” Keith mutters.

~*~

Pidge punches Keith in the arm and almost bites Lance’s finger off when they tell her what they did, but she can’t be too mad. It worked, after all.

She is totally on board for helping with the others and is actually the one who comes up with the plan for Axca and Veronica.

A training room “malfunction” when the two are in there doing target practice seals them in and makes the training drones go a little nuts. Pidge assures a nervous Lance that the drones don’t actually shoot at you like the ones in the castle did, just shock you, but it’s still enough incentive to avoid it if possible.

The three paladins watch through the observation window as the two women take cover and try to fend off the drones. Keith decides it’s a good idea to turn on the sound so they can hear what’s going on, and damn is he glad he does because just then…

“Veronica!”

Acxa leaps sideways and shoves Veronica out of the way of a drone’s shot, grunting in discomfort as it shocks her.

Veronica shoots it and the other remaining drone before crouching next to Acxa, frowning in concern.

“Acxa, are you hurt? Let me see…”

“It’s fine, it just shocked me.” Acxa huffs. “If we were in a Galra training room, I might have lost my arm just then. Good thing you humans don’t train by trial and error.”

Veronica’s frown deepens, and she sits back a little.

“You thought that…? And you still took the shot for me?”

Acxa nods once. “Of course.”

“Why?”

“You shot Zethrid when she was about to shoot Shiro and me. Doing this… it was the least I could do, after you saved my life.”

“Acxa, you don’t owe me for that. I did that because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Because I care about you.”

Acxa looks up at Veronica with wide eyes, then she returns the human’s smile with a small one of her own.

“I think we’re good here.” Keith murmurs, and Pidge unlocks the door before the four of them sneak away.

~*~

James and Ryan… well. Keith has his own ideas for dealing with those two.

His Plan A is simple. He sits the both of them down in the middle of the cafeteria and tells them point blank “You two idiots have a crush on each other so kiss already.”

The two of them sputter and hurl frantic denials in his face for a good thirty minutes, even backing each other up.

“Guys, you have both told me, _to my face_ , that you have a crush on each other.”

More sputtering, more denials.

Keith sighs. “Alright, fine, have it your way.” Plan B it is.

He walks towards the cafeteria doors and both pilots follow him, still telling him he’s ridiculous.

Then, as they pass in front of an open closet, Beezer comes out of nowhere and hoists the two pilots up and throws them into the closet. The door closes and locks, and Beezer looks up at him and chirps happily.

Keith pats the robot’s head. “Thanks buddy. And tell Colleen and Pidge that I appreciate them letting me borrow you.”

Beezer chirrups again and gives him a salute before wheeling off.

Keith leaves the MFE pilots in the closet for one hour, then comes back to let them out. He opens the door to see them making out against the wall.

“I’m being ridiculous, huh?” He deadpans, and they jump apart.

Well, that was indeed very easy, and very frustrating.

~*~

Ryan is in a much better mood following Keith’s intervention, so much that he breaks out the camera he’d brought on the Atlas and is filming a “day in the life” documentary about all of them. Rizavi decides to try and hijack it, but Ryan seems happy enough to let her.

Keith totally isn’t smug about all the newly happy couples on the ship improving morale. Nope, not him.

He even puts up with Nadia and Ryan trying to interview him and Pidge, who is also pretty happy and doesn’t protest as much as she might have otherwise.

Then they have to go fight a giant squid, which to put it frankly, is not nearly as fun as some people think.

And after that debacle, they get word that they’ve located the last Altean ro-beast. The fifth one they’d found during Keith’s matchmaking spree and that pilot had been slightly more cooperative of their apprehension, most likely because her helmet had been cracked and she were very close to running out of oxygen before the Atlas showed up, but still.

They touch down on the planet and Pidge starts relaying their movements to the Atlas, where Shiro and the rest of the officers are watching through Pidge’s camera helmet.

They find the ro-beast… and its head detaches and starts shooting at them.

“I didn’t know it could do that!” Hunk yelps.

“Take cover!” Keith shouts, and Lance screams as the ship shoots just to the right of him.

 _“Paladins, report! We’ve lost visual!”_ Shiro shouts over the comms.

Oh shit, Pidge.

Keith turns and sees the Green Paladin huddled behind a small boulder, clutching at her head and cringing as the laser fire whizzes right past her.

Shiro must have decided they were in danger and took action, because before Keith can try to figure out what to do, the Atlas has fired on the ship and disabled it.

“Nice shot, Atlas!” Lance sighs.

“Yeah, thanks.” Hunk adds, dispelling his bayard and helping Pidge check her helmet’s camera.

They – very warily – approach the downed ro-beast head and successfully extract its pilot, and then Keith is officially off for the day, he needs a goddamn nap.

He finds himself in the captain’s quarters not long after, curled up in the bed with a data pad in his hands and a warm lump of black fur sprawled over his feet. He scratches the wolf’s ears idly as he reads the new reports of Allura’s attempts to engage with the Alteans. A new one pops up as he reads, saying that thanks to Hunks culinary diplomacy, the Alteans have agreed to finally speak to Allura and Coran.

“Go Hunk.” Keith mutters, smiling. Maybe he should do something with those skills of his, once all of this is over.

The door hisses open a few minutes later and Shiro stumbles inside, stifling a yawn as the door shuts and locks behind him.

“Hey, superman. The Alteans are being handled, there are no more that need to be found, and we’ve got literally every genius we know actively looking for Honerva, so please for the love of god, come over here and sleep for a solid eight hours.” Keith huffs.

“That sounds really nice.” Shiro sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking off his boots.

The wolf lifts his head and noses at Shiro’s side, licking him once before hopping down and going to his usual corner to sleep.

Shiro finishes stripping out of his uniform before crawling into bed next to Keith, burying his face in his fiancé’s hip. “Lay down with me?” He mumbles.

Keith smiles fondly and sets the pad to the side, sliding down in the bed until he has Shiro’s face tucked into his neck instead. Atlas turns the lights off, and they breathe together in the darkness for several long moments.

“Shiro?” Keith asks quietly. He’s answered by a quiet snore, and Keith shakes his head. They can talk in the morning. So he buries his face in Shiro’s hair and follows him into sleep.

~*~

Keith wishes he wasn’t familiar with the sensation of being jolted awake by thrashing limbs, but he is.

He quickly rolls over and sits up, and a lamp flickers on by Shiro’s side of the bed. Atlas is just as worried about her captain as Keith is.

Shiro is shaking, flesh hand gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles are white. His face and neck are beaded with sweat and as Keith reaches for him, he lets out a muted whimper that tears at Keith’s heart.

“Takashi,” he murmurs, placing a gentle hand over the other man’s racing heart, “it’s alright, you’re safe, we’re on the Atlas, and she and I are both very worried about you.”

“Keith,” Shiro chokes out, still very much asleep, “No. No no no, I don’t-” a muffled sob tears its way out of Shiro’s throat.

“I’m here, Shiro, I’m right here.” Keith soothes. “Come on, superman, open your eyes, it’s okay.” Keith’s thumb strokes over the edge of a scar gently, and Shiro shudders awake.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Keith says quietly as Shiro’s eyes begin to focus on him.

“Keith,” Shiro chokes, and reaches up to brush his fingers against the scar on the Black Paladin’s cheek.

Oh, it was one of _those_ dreams.

“Takashi,” Keith sighs, reaching up to grab Shiro’s hand and hold it against his face. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I could have killed you.” Shiro grits out, voice shaking.

“You didn’t. I’m okay, superman. We’re both okay, and she’s never going to touch you again.” Keith lays down on his back and tugs at Shiro until the other man’s ear is pressed to his chest. “Feel that? I’m breathing. I’m calm. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’m marrying you, remember?”

“Yeah,” Shiro sighs, nuzzling against Keith’s chest. He wiggles his arm underneath Keith’s pillow and tugs him closer. “Stay with me.”

Keith huffs and kisses the top of Shiro’s head. “As if I’d ever go anywhere.”

He stays awake until he’s sure Shiro’s drifted off again, then allows himself to follow, keeping Shiro securely held in his arms.

~*~

“A… festival.” Keith says incredulously, and Shiro sighs, rubbing the back of his head.

“Well, we did kind of ruin the one they had a few years ago. I figure maybe we owe them.”

Keith huffs and crosses his arms. “Fine. One Voltron Security Squad, coming right up.”

Shiro pulls him close and kisses the top of his head. “It’ll be fun, you’ll see.”

“Whatever, superman.”

They get down to the planet and Coran gets them tokens so they can partake in the festivities, but Keith’s brow furrows down at the coins in his hand while everyone talks about winning prizes for Allura, who’s elected to stay back on the Atlas and rest.

“Let’s remember why we came here; to provide security for the event.”

The others run off anyway, clearly on their way to… _not_ be security. Keith sighs in exasperation. It’s like herding cats with these guys.

“Keith,” A hand settles on his shoulder and Keith glances up to see Shiro giving him puppy eyes. Oh no. “Relax. Go have fun.”

“If we’re not here for protection then what are we even doing here?” He mutters, crossing his arms.

“Morale on the Atlas is low after what happened in Oriande. You know that, you were trying to improve it with your matchmaking spree. But a few hours at the carnival could help give us the extra boost we need to get back on track.”

Keith mutters something about sneaky captains under his breath and nuzzles against the hand on his shoulder. “Okay, fine. _You_ go have fun, and _I’ll_ stay on the lookout for anything weird.”

Shiro pouts. “I was hoping you and I could make a date of it. We haven’t been on one in so long…”

 “I, you…” Keith growls. “Okay, that… does sound nice. But just, let me do one sweep of the place to make myself feel better, then we can do whatever you want, deal?”

Shiro beams at him and pulls him into a tight hug. “Deal!”

“You are way too excited for this.” Keith huffs, but he can’t help but smile at Shiro’s enthusiasm. He’s been so down lately, it’s good to see him smile like that again.

“We haven’t been on a proper date since before I left for Kerberos, I think it’s warranted.” Shiro mumbles, setting him down and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Fair enough.” He leans up and kisses the corner of Shiro’s mouth. “Why don’t you wait for me in that huge center tent?” He points behind them towards a massive striped tent. “I’m sure there are events or something going on that can entertain you until I’m done with my sweep.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Shiro tilts his head up a little more and kisses him properly. “Don’t take too long, sweetheart.”

“I won’t.” Keith promises.

~*~

Shiro makes his way to the large tent with a spring in his step. He and Keith are going to have a date for the first time in years! He may be a tad over-excited, but can anyone really blame him?

He pauses when he walks inside, frowning at the large amount of frankly _massive_ people all circled around a large, raised dais where two other burly aliens are… arm-wrestling?

“Well look who decided to actually show up.” A low, drawling voice says from beside him. He looks down to see Burr standing next to him. Shiro sighs.

“Good to see you too, Burr.” He says drily.

“Couldn’t help but notice the Blue Lion ain’t here. That’s fine. Can’t expect Voltron to completely follow through on their promises.”

Shiro grimaces but refrains from doing anything too rash. “What’s going on over here?” he asks instead.

“That’s the arm-wrestling contest.” Oh, so Shiro was right. “It ain’t for people like you.”

Shiro’s brow furrows. “Why is that? Because of my arm?”

Burr laughs. “No, arm-wrestling is for the young and strong. You’re old, like me.” Shiro can feel a muscle in his eye twitch. _What?_ “Those kids would break you in half, mechanical arm or not.”

 _He’s trying to bait you, don’t let him bait you don’t sink to his level just walk away Takashi_ …

“Is it too late to sign up?” He gets out surprisingly smoothly.

“Mm, I’m sure we could work something out.” Burr says smugly.

Shiro doesn’t care. He’s taking a page out of his fiancé’s book. Learn what people think you can’t do, then do it better than anyone else. He’s got some time to kill until Keith gets here, anyway, might as well do something while he waits.

~*~

It’s totally not Keith’s fault they get stuck in the stupid ride. How the hell were he and Hunk supposed to know it was a line? Why didn’t anyone chew them out for cutting it?? Don’t normal people get mad when you cut in line!?

So it follows that he cannot be held responsible for breaking out. He needs to get to Shiro, god dammit, he promised he wouldn’t take too long.

They emerge in time to see Coran win some sort of horrible screeching competition and then Lance and Pidge arrive.

“Dude, where’s Shiro?” Lance asks.

Keith hooks a thumb over towards the tent. “I was supposed to meet him there after I did my security sweep. It took a little longer than I expected. I hope he’s not too worried.”

They all make their way to the tent and Keith pauses. No Shiro was not worried about him at all. Instead his fiancé has apparently been crushing any and all competition in an arm-wrestling tournament. Keith suddenly feels like his time would have been much better spent in here in this tent. Woof.

They’re apparently just in time for the championship match, too.

Oh hell, Shiro looks really hot when he’s cocky. Keith might be drooling.

He goes from dazed, love-struck idiot to over-protective terminator mode in an instant, though, when he sees just who it is Shiro’s fighting.

Slav, who had found them when they were on their way here and decided to join them, squeaks and hides behind them all at the sight of his former prison warden.

Keith watches with narrowed eyes as the two lock hands over the table and mutter quietly to each other, then sees the warden sigh and say something that has Shiro looking very surprised, then he grins, and the match starts.

Keith relaxes, realizing the two must have come to some sort of accord, and can just focus on watching his fiancé face off with the huge Galra.

At one point it looks like the warden is gonna win, and all of them start screaming.

“Rip his arm off!” Coran shouts.

“You got this!” Pidge hollers, hands cupped around her mouth.

“You have a ninety-nine point nine nine percent chance of _utterly crushing him!_ ” Slav yells.

“Kick his ass, Takashi!” Keith demands, and sees Shiro smirk at him before the warden’s arm is slammed against the table in an impressive show of force.

The crowd goes nuts and the paladins rush the stage. Hunk and Lance hoist Shiro up on their shoulders (or, Hunk does, Lance tries to help) and the warden wraps the belt around Shiro’s arm with a muttered “You’re alright, Shiro”.

Keith shoves his way through his friends and hauls Shiro down to kiss him breathless, biting at his lower lip sharply and causing the white-haired man to whimper in surprise. Someone in the crowd wolf-whistles (who knew that was a thing, even in space).

“Congratulations, superman,” Keith murmurs against his fiancé’s mouth. “I think that just earned you a very special reward for… later tonight.”

Shiro swallows thickly and pulls him back in for another kiss. “Can’t wait, baby.”

Maybe this whole festival thing was a good idea after all, Keith muses.

~*~

He and Shiro do end up having their date. After the arm-wrestling competition, they still had two vargas to wander around the carnival. They play stupid games, eat a lot of horribly unhealthy fried food, and go on as many roller coasters as Shiro can stomach (Keith refused to set foot near the burrow buggy ride again, never again, never).

But after they get back to the ship, Keith gets to have even more fun.

He shoves his fiancé onto the mattress, biting his neck hard enough to bruise, and Shiro’s breath hitches.

“Keith…”

“Ready for your reward, Takashi?” He purrs, running his tongue over Shiro’s pulse-point.

“What, nngh, what did you have in mind?” Shiro pants, tangling human finger in Keith’s hair gently.

“You’ll like it.” Keith assures, smirking.

“I always do.”

Keith strips out of his armor as quickly as he can manage and blessedly, by the time he’s done, Shiro is also naked and holding out a hand to urge him back onto the bed.

“I’m running the show tonight, okay? You just lay back and enjoy.” Keith hums, running his hands over Shiro’s sides soothingly.

“Yes sir.” Shiro sighs, relaxing even further into the sheets. Keith raises an eyebrow. Add authority kink to the list of things to be explored later.

Keith kisses Shiro again, feather light, then trails his lips down his fiancé’s neck, then across his pecs, over his stomach, until he’s tracing his tongue around the head of his cock. Shiro’s breath hitches and his hands grip the sheets so they don’t grip Keith’s hair.

Despite being comfortable blowing Shiro now, he’s only done it a few times. He’s still not as skilled as he’d like to be, but Shiro never complains.

Keith laps at the head a moment longer before finally sinking down as far as he can, holding Shiro’s hips steady as he tries to fight his body’s urge to jerk up.

“Baby,” Shiro starts, but whatever he was going to say cuts off in a moan when Keith swallows around him and starts bobbing his head slowly.

While Shiro’s distracted, Keith reaches up and under his pillow to retrieve the bottle of lube, setting it next to Shiro’s side.  The cold plastic makes Shiro jerk slightly and he looks down at Keith questioningly.

Keith pulls off and licks his lips, smirking when he sees Shiro’s eyes track the movement. “Open me up?” He purrs, and Shiro sits up quickly, pulling Keith into his lap and kissing the taste of himself off the younger man’s lips.

Keith shifts his legs so he’s straddling Shiro properly and sighs when he feels gel-coated fingers prod gently at his entrance.

“You gonna ride me, baby?” Shiro murmurs, kissing Keith’s neck softly as he slides a finger inside.

Keith hums and wiggles his hips a little, adjusting to the familiar stretch. “That’s part of the plan, yes.”

“Oh? What’s the rest of it?” Shiro hums, crooking his finger to jab at Keith’s prostate suddenly.

Keith hisses and digs his nails into Shiro’s back. “You, you’ll see,” Keith huffs. “Another.”

“Sure?”

“Takashi, I’m more than used to taking your fingers.” Keith reminds him.

“I know. But you know I always have to ask.” Shiro says gently, metal hand pressing against the small of Keith’s back. A second finger slips in beside the first and Keith sighs, nuzzling Shiro’s neck and nipping at his jaw.

“Today was nice.” He sighs as Shiro works on opening him up. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you that relaxed.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m that relaxed when we do _this_ ,” Shiro says in amusement, hitting Keith’s prostate again for emphasis.

“Well, yes,” Keith bites out around a moan, “but aside from _this_ ,” He wraps his fingers around Shiro’s cock and squeezes, causing Shiro’s hips to jerk up, “it’s been a while. I’m glad you were able to enjoy yourself. Seeing you all smug and cocky, knowing you were gonna win that tournament… it was hot.”

“Yeah?” Shiro hums, adding a third finger.

“ _Oh_ yeah,” Keith sighs, “knew I was gonna wreck you tonight, after seeing that. Knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

“You’re wrecking _me_?” Shiro hums, scissoring his fingers and causing Keith to let out a strangled whine.

“Oh, just wait.” Keith mutters. He grabs Shiro’s forearm and pulls his fingers free, biting down a whimper at how empty he suddenly is. “This is still my show, Shirogane. From here on out, your only job is to lay back and take what I give you.”

He shoves Shiro down until he’s laying flat again. He gathers both his wrists and presses them above Shiro’s head and presses firmly. “Stay.”

Shiro shivers a little. “Okay.”

Keith smirks and reaches for the bottle of lube, pouring some into his palm and slicking Shiro’s cock. “Aw, what happened to ‘sir’? I kinda liked that.”

Keith watches Shiro’s throat bob, and is so, so glad he brought it up when his fiancé chokes out “Yes sir.”

“Good boy.” Keith coos. He wipes his hand off on one of the spare pillows and slides up until he’s hovering over Shiro’s cock. He lines Shiro up and sinks down slowly, letting out a content sigh as he’s filled.

“Oh, Shiro, you always feel so _good_ ,” he sighs as he settles fully.

“So do you, baby,” Shiro grits out. Keith opens his eyes – when did he close them? – and sees Shiro’s knuckles have gone white from how hard he’s clenched the sheets. His jaw is tensed and his eyes are screwed shut. His whole body is shivering.

Keith smirks. “Is it really that hard not to touch me?” He hums, raising up a little and sinking down just as slowly as before.

“I always want to be touching you.” Shiro whispers, opening his eyes and staring up at Keith as though he’s some sort of god.

Keith’s expression softens and he slides his hands up Shiro’s chest. “Feeling’s mutual.” He leans down and presses his lips against Shiro’s throat reverently. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” Shiro sighs, tilting his head down to brush his own lips to Keith’s forehead.

Keith hums and sits up again, bracing his hands on Shiro’s stomach. He lifts up until Shiro’s halfway out, then slides down again, still just as slow as before.

The way Shiro reacts, you’d thing he’d just been punched. He huffs like the air just got knocked out of him and he slams his head back against the pillow. His hands are shaking.

Keith repeats the movement and Shiro’s hips twitch up.

Keith takes pity on him. “I didn’t say you couldn’t move at all, Takashi.” He murmurs, thumbs rubbing little circles against scarred flesh. “As long as your hands stay put, you can move.”

“Oh thank _god_ ,” Shiro groans, and his hips buck up so hard and so suddenly that he nearly throws Keith off.

Keith laughs and regains his balance as Shiro stutters out apologies through a series of moans. “I know you’re happy to be able to move, superman, but you can still just call me Keith.” He teases.

“Oh fuck you.” Shiro mutters.

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

“ _Keith_ ,”

“Okay, okay.”

Keith tries to keep his previous sedate pace, but Shiro’s having none of it, hips snapping up harshly every time Keith comes down.

“If I’d known all I had to do to make you this desperate was to not let you touch me, I’d have done it ages ago.” Keith hisses out, groaning when Shiro’s next thrust nails his prostate dead on.

“ _Fuck,_ then I’m glad you didn’t,” Shiro whines, rolling his hips up to drag over that same spot again, making Keith choke. “This is _torture_.”

“Torture, huh?” Keith muses, sliding his hands up again to curl around Shiro’s shoulders. He tightens his muscles around the length inside him and Shiro whimpers.

“ _Yes_ ,” Shiro chokes out. He opens his eyes again and Keith realizes there are tears gathering in the corners of them. “I want to touch you so _badly_ , please, please baby, let me touch you…”

Fuck, how could he deny a request like that? “Okay, Takashi, you can touch me.”

Shiro whines again and shoots up off the bed, wrapping his arms around Keith and burying his face in the crook of Keith’s neck, worrying the skin their gently as he grabs Keith’s hips to lift him and bring him back down _hard_.

“ _Shit_ ,” Keith hisses, fingers curling around the back of Shiro’s neck as his fiancé has his way with him. Well, looks like he’s found Shiro’s weak point.

“Fuck, fuck, Takashi, god, you feel so good,” He groans, pulling Shiro’s head up to kiss him messily. “Fuck, god, come on, come inside me, oh fuck, I need it-”

Shiro chokes out another whimper and does as Keith commands, coming so hard it makes _Keith_ see stars for a second.

“Good, good boy, that’s it,” Keith breathes, kissing Shiro’s temple as the other man whines and nuzzles back into his neck.

“Oh god.” Shiro pants. “That was… damn.”

“Well I plan on abusing this new discovery mercilessly in the future.” Keith hums. “Stop you from touching me, get you to snap and fuck me senseless, everybody wins.”

Shiro huffs and pulls away, frowning down at Keith in concern. “You haven’t come yet, though. I’m sorry, I got a little carried away. Here, let me-”

Shiro leans back and reaches down for Keith’s erection, but a hand on his wrist stops him.

“Oh no you don’t,” Keith purrs, pushing Shiro flat once again. “I’m not done.”

Shiro, bless him, looks very puzzled. “Yes, I can see that, and am trying to fix it.”

Keith grins and lifts up, both of them moaning as Shiro slips out. “Not what I meant, Takashi,” He hums, reaching for the lube again and slicking up his fingers.

“What did you mea- _ah!_ ” Shiro gasps as Keith slides a finger inside, clenching down in surprise and making himself moan. “K-Keith…”

Keith leans down, pressing his lips to the shell of Shiro’s ear. “I’m going to fuck you, Takashi,” he murmurs, crooking his finger slowly to rub over the older man’s prostate, earning another breathy whimper. “Right now, while you’re still relaxed and pliant. You’ll be so sensitive from your orgasm… fuck, I’m going to make you _scream_ for me.”

 _“Keith,_ ” Shiro whines, arching his back as Keith adds a second finger.

“Is that a yes?” Keith murmurs, leaning back a little to kiss Shiro’s cheek. “I don’t want it to hurt, Takashi, if you’re _too_ sensitive-”

“I want it,” Shiro breathes, reaching up and cupping the back of Keith’s neck. “I want _you_.”

Keith kisses him, slow and sweet, just the way Shiro likes. “You have me.”

He rubs at Shiro’s prostate again, kissing up and down his fiancé’s neck as the other man squirms beneath him.

“Keith, more,” Shiro chokes, and then sighs as Keith slides in a third finger.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, Shiro.” Keith promises, scissoring his fingers slowly and watching Shiro continue to writhe in pleasure. “You always make me feel amazing, I want to give back. Want to make it feel just as incredible for you as you always make it for me.”

“Please,” Shiro breathes, reaching up and pulling Keith back down to kiss him. “Want you so badly, sweetheart.”

“I’m here.” Keith promises. “You sure you’re ready?”

“Yeah, come on.”

Keith slides his fingers out and coats his cock in more lube before tossing the bottle aside. He nudges Shiro’s legs a little wider so he can settle between them and pushes inside before Shiro can tense up.

 _“Oh_ ,” Shiro sighs, arching up in bliss. “Oh, Keith, god, that’s… so _much_ , oh god,”

“Good, or bad?” Keith murmurs, kissing the diagonal scar across Shiro’s chest.

“Good,” Shiro assures, “so, so good.” He wraps his arms around Keith’s neck and tugs him down until their foreheads are pressed together. “Can we just… stay like this for a minute?”

Keith hums and kisses him. “Sure.”

They breathe together for several long moments, just enjoying the contact, the connection to each other.

“I’m so glad I still have this.” Shiro murmurs. “Glad I still have _you_.”

“You’ll always have me, Takashi.” Keith promises. He takes Shiro’s human hand and moves it to his neck, presses it down so he can feel the shape of the ring and the bead that hang from an old leather chord. “You’ve had all of me, for years now. And you will have me for the rest of our lives.”

“In sickness and in health?” Shiro asks, smiling.

“Yeah, but even death won’t part us. We’ve proven that already.”

Shiro huffs a laugh. “I guess we have.” He leans up and kisses Keith’s cheek before settling back down, eyes hazy and sated. “Move, sweetheart.”

Keith keeps it slow, aware that Shiro’s still sensitive, but the pace is more than enough to get Shiro to scream for him.

“Keith! Keith, baby, oh god, you feel so good, don’t stop, _please_ don’t stop,” Shiro chokes out, clinging to Keith with all of his strength.

“I don’t plan to.” Keith assures, grinding hard against Shiro’s prostate. “Think you can come for me again?”

“Yeah, yes, anything, anything you want, baby, just, _please-”_

Keith growls and pulls out almost all the way before slamming back in hard and Shiro yelps.

“Yes! Yes, god, baby _please_ , just like that, please, god,”

Fuck, Keith loves it when he gets Shiro to babble.

“I’ve got you, Takashi,” Keith murmurs, voice staying soft even as his thrusts get harder and harder, making Shiro choke out helpless little noises on every breath.

He leans down and mouths gently at the scar on Shiro’s shoulder, the one he himself had left back when he’d first topped him.

“You’re mine, Shiro.” He purrs, kissing the scar and working a hand between them to stroke Shiro’s cock at a punishing pace.

“Yours,” Shiro promises breathlessly. “Always.”

Keith purrs louder at that, thumbing over Shiro’s slit and causing Shiro to sob out another broken moan.

“Come for me, Takashi.” He rumbles, and Shiro does, clenching hard around Keith as he does so.

Keith grunts at the pressure and thrusts twice more before he follows his fiancé over the edge.

He collapses onto Shiro’s chest as they both fight to regain control of their breathing.

“Well,” Shiro sighs dazedly, “I would say winning that competition was totally worth it, for that if for nothing else.”

Keith giggles helplessly and pats Shiro’s face with his non-sticky hand. “I live to please, superman.”

“And please you do.” Shiro murmurs, kissing the top of his head.

Keith hums and tries to sit up so he can pull out, but Shiro’s arms hold him fast. “Stay.” Shiro murmurs.

“I need to pull out, Shiro.” Keith says gently.

“No, just, stay. Just a little longer. Please.”

Keith sighs and settles back down. He could never deny Shiro anything.

“Alright.” He murmurs, closing his eyes and listening to the steady cadence of Shiro’s heartbeat. “Just a little longer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause I wanna touch you baby and I wanna feel you too  
> I wanna see the sun rise on your sins, just me and you  
> Light it up, on the run, let's make love tonight  
> Make it up, fall in love, try  
> (Baby, I'm right here)  
> But you'll never be alone  
> I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
> I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
> Baby, I'm right here  
> I'll hold you when things go wrong  
> I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
> I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
> Baby I'm right here  
> \- Dusk 'till Dawn, Zayn ft. Sia
> 
> Can we just pretend I posted this chapter a week late to coincide with Bottom Shiro Week? This counts on the little Bingo card as creampie/sex-dazed, right? Sure, let's go with that. I will post the next chapter on time! I swear to god, I'll do it somehow! It's the Knights of Light episodes which I actually found really interesting aside from a few missed opportunities that I will rectify in this. So see you then if you don't hate me too much!


	45. Centuries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still technically late, but not nearly as bad as last time. I feel like I could have done a lot better with this chapter so may revisit it sometime in the future (and I was way too tired to edit so, that'll happen soon). For now... have at it.

Keith feels pretty fucking fantastic when he wakes up the next morning, right up until they get to the Morning Briefing and find out that when everyone else got back yesterday, they found Allura passed out on the floor with the weird shadow entity thing gone.

She’s asleep for three days before she wakes up and tells them she has a two-way link to Honerva’s head. Yeah, this is gonna end well.

But for as much as Keith doesn’t like the idea… he has to admit it’s the best shot they have at either finding the witch, or learning what she’s up to. It may not be the safest plan, or the sanest, but it is the only one they have, and it has a high chance of actually getting them intel.

They run it by Shiro, who frowns sternly the entire time they explain it to him. Keith knows that look all too well, and tries to gently coax Shiro out of his steadfast “no way in hell” attitude.

“It may take lifetimes for an opportunity like this to come around again. We think it’s worth the risk.” He reaches out and takes Shiro’s hand.

Shiro sighs. “I spent a lot of time in the infinite void.” He says quietly. “It took all of my strength not to loose my sanity, and if you face Honerva in the void, she will win.” He pauses and lets out a shaky breath. “But, if you can find a clue that leads to defeating Honerva and Lotor, it could give us the upper hand in this fight.”

The _even though the thought of it makes me sick_ part is left unsaid.

Lance hates it too, and really? None of them want to be doing this, but they need to.

As Keith expected, Shiro stops him right before he gets into Black.

“Keith,”

“I’ll be careful, Takashi.” He says quietly, turning to his fiancé. “I promise, we’ll all come back in one piece.”

Shiro huffs out a laugh. “I don’t know why I even bother saying anything anymore.”

“Because if you didn’t, you’d worry.” Keith leans up and kisses Shiro gently. “I’ll see you soon, superman.”

They go out, form Voltron, and enter the mind-void. Allura decides that now is the perfect time to tell them they’re all connected to the evil entity inside her brain because of their link through Voltron.

“You could have mentioned this before we got here,” Keith mutters to himself. There’s no way this is going to go well.

But they’re here, so they might as well get the job done. They manage to summon their lions (void lions? Mind lions? Ugh, Lance was right, this does make his head hurt) and fly towards the light. And fly… and fly… and fly…

Until they finally, eventually arrive at a black sphere crackling with electricity.

“Is this Honerva’s mind?” Hunk asks hesitantly after they’ve touched down.

“It’s on the other side of this wall.” Allura confirms. Just then, there is a shriek from below them, and they see a pack of demented creatures writing around under the wall of black glass.

“What is this?” Pidge asks shakily.

“It feels like… like these are the souls that Honerva has defeated and corrupted.” Allura whispers.

“Well that’s just peachy.” Keith growls, jumping a little as one slithers right below his feet.

“It’s terrible.” Allura agrees.

Before they can even begin to fathom how to get through, ghostly hands emerge from the glass and grab Allura and begin to pull her down. They all lurch forwards in alarm and attempt to pull her back, but more shoot up, wrapping around the legs and arms of the other paladins and drag them all below.

Keith alone is left unaffected by the grasping tendrils, and he clings to Pidge’s hand for as long as he can, but she disappears. And so do the others.

And Keith is alone.

“ _No!_ ” He shouts, trying to peirce the barrier with his bayard, then tries to blast through it, then falls to his knees and pounds his fist into the unyielding glass so hard he bruises his knuckles.

“No,” He whispers, pressing his forehead to the glass, trying in vain to see through to the other side.

“Give them back, please, _please_ just give them back…” He clenches his fists. “There _has_ to be a way in.” he pants. “I… I can’t even feel them anymore.”

It’s like their connection through Voltron got cut off. He can’t feel anything. He doesn’t know where they are or if they’re hurt or if they’re even still…

 _No_. He can’t afford to think like that. But how can he not? He’s alone here now, trapped on the outside edge of a madwoman’s mind, and unable to leave. He can’t return to his body without the others, even if he wanted to. The connection brought them all this far, it would be impossible for him to make it back on his own. He’d go insane trying, like Shiro almost did. Like Shiro would have if he hadn’t been connected to Black.

Keith can feel her in the back of his mind, the only thing he can feel. She’s distressed, she doesn’t know how to help him when his mind is so far away from her own.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, staring down into the opaque black surface. It could have been seconds or years. He’s not sure.

All he knows is eventually… they come back.

Black appears before him, having found a way to drag her consciousness back to him. Then the other lions appear, and with them, their paladins.

 _All_ of their paladins.

It seems his friends had been dragged down to fight the corrupted souls of their predecessors that had been trapped inside Honerva’s mind for the past ten thousand years. Yikes.

There is a very touching moment when Allura gets to hug her father, then he yells at her for messing with the entity. He guesses it’s a parent thing.

“Sorry for totally freaking you out by getting dragged off to void-hell.” Lance tells him as the king and the princess keep arguing. “You okay?”

“Better, now.” Keith grits out. “But yeah, don’t do that again, please.”

“Sure thing, man.” Lance pulls him into a quick hug, but releases him when Alfor walks over.

“Keith Kogane.” The king says gently, and Keith raises an eyebrow.

“Uh, hi.”

“You were Red’s paladin, before.”

Keith blinks rapidly and looks up at Red. “I, yeah. When we first started.”

Alfor nods. “She is still very fond of you. I’ve never known her to be so protective.”

“Well, I’m still pretty fond of her too.” Keith shrugs, smiling a little. “I can’t count the number of times she saved my life.”

Alfor chuckles. “Yes, it seems one thing all her paladins have in common is that we are all rather prone to danger.”

“Leaving our partners to have mild heart attacks every time.” Keith sighs, nodding.

“I can’t tell you how many times Melenor yelled at me for doing something dangerous.” Alfor sighs, smiling fondly. “Shiro is the same way, I take it?”

“You know about Shi-? Wait, duh, Hunk told me you guys exchanged memories.”

Alfor nods. “Yes, I’ve seen what has transpired for Voltron. Shiro was the leader Zarkon used to be, before his corruption. A natural who could command people with only a few carefully chosen words. You however, lead by a different means. One that has one the loyalty of your friends. You’ve done well.”

Keith coughs. “Uh, thanks.”

Before any more awkwardness can occur, they get hit with another wave of entity-induced pain, and they manage to infiltrate the barrier around Honerva’s mind, thanks to Allura and weird, trippy, possibly-dark magic.

They find themselves inside Honerva’s mind… on Daibazaal. The Galra home world is a lot like how Keith imagined it: dark and kind of terrifying.

Pidge assures them that Honerva doesn’t know they’re here (yet) and Allura tells her the entity wants them to go to the palace. Thankfully they now have backup, because the former paladins came through with them, and no way in hell is Alfor letting his little girl follow an ancient, powerful evil through the twisted recesses of a crazy witch’s mind without him.

At least, not without him trying to stop her the whole way.

Then they get attacked by thought-bubble ro-beast Myzax and that’s just… terrible, especially since in Honerva’s head he’s got new abilities that they can’t counter.

But the former paladins form their own void lions and offer to hold him off while the five of them continue deeper into Honerva’s mind.

So Allura keeps leading them through Honerva’s creepy mindspace. They come across Oriande, then a random lightning area where they get the summary of Honerva’s past… and they see how the former paladins met their end, and ended up trapped in this place.

Seeing Zarkon, even knowing he’d been a corrupted zombie, so callously turning on his former friends… it’s hard to stomach.

Lance tries again to get Allura to ditch the entity, but Keith reluctantly points out they’re already in pretty deep and if they lose the thing…

“Lance, without its guidance… we may not be able to find our way out of this place. I don’t like this either, but I think we can wait until we’re back on the Atlas to ditch the thing.”

Lance grits his teeth. “Dammit.”

“Look as soon as we’re back we can convince Allura to get rid of it.” Keith says quietly, so only his best friend can hear. “Trust me, I’ll help you do it, but for now, we need it.”

Lance nods shortly. “I understand. I hate it, but I understand.”

“Welcome to every argument with Shiro I’ve ever had.” Keith says drily and Lance huffs a laugh.

So they keep going. They get to a really trippy place full of sort-of spiderwebs, and as they cut through the strands they see memories that are getting more and more recent. They’re getting close to what they need. Then they end up in a white, whispering void which is disturbing and shouty and they need to hold on to each other in order to escape, then they find themselves on Altea. The core of her mind, a place she holds very dear.

Lance sighs and says what Keith is thinking: “I wonder what kind of weird, freaky thing is gonna attack us here.”

A thud behind them makes them stagger and before Keith turns around, he shoots a half-hearted glare at the Red Paladin. “You just _had_ to say it.”

“Sorry!”

So they turn around and… it’s Zarkon’s mech. Of course, of _course_ Honerva would have her demented husband guarding the deepest part of her mind. Keith’s surprised he didn’t see this coming, after Zarkon failed to try and fight him to the death when the others were grappling with their respective former paladins.

But he’s sure as hell wanting to fight them now.

He calls out Zarkon for being a piece of shit, Black saves him from certain death, and they form void Voltron again.

The second battle against Zarkon’s mech is slightly better than the first time, seeing as they don’t have to deal with the Kohmar. But only slightly.

He electrocutes the shit out of them until the rest of the former paladins show up to help them kick ass. Voltron squared uses the same chest canon Allura had summoned to kick Lotor’s ass, then they nail him with the sword and Zarkon’s mech melts away… to reveal an image of the Black Lion. And kneeling before her, a non-corrupted, very confused Zarkon appears.

The former paladins teleport down to stand around him, and it’s actually a little sad, how happy he is to see them. He seems shocked and relieved, and Keith has to wonder if he knows about everything that’s happened.

If he didn’t, he certainly does after Allura gives him a condensed history lesson via his brain.

He falls to his hands and knees, panting harshly, as Allura steps away.

“No,” he says raggedly.

“You did that. All of it!” Allura spits.

“I’m sorry,” The former Black Paladin gasps, “I didn’t know what I-”

“You knew _exactly_ what you were doing.” Allura hisses. “You deceived and betrayed your friends and allies!”

Zarkon takes a deep, shuddering breath. “The quintessence… it blinded me. And you all suffered because of it.”

“If you’re truly sorry for what you’ve done, then help us stop her. You must have been placed here to protect something. What is it?” Allura snarls.

“I, don’t know, I, I’m sorry.”

“What are you protecting!?”

“I don’t…” Zarkon looks up, then pauses, looking to the right. “That moon…”

They all look over to see a red moon hovering over the planet.

“It is a moon of Daibazaal.” Zarkon explains.

“He’s right, that moon is not of Altea.” Alfor says lowly.

“That is the source.”

Zarkon stands slowly, then they all cringe when the Black Lion roars and shoots at the moon with her main laser.

The moon shatters and they see more memories… only they’re not memories. They show Honerva, uncorrupted, holding a baby Lotor while Zarkon stands proudly beside them. They see a child Lotor running down a hall with his parents following along, looking at him fondly. They see the life the three of them would have had without the corruption of the quintessence field and the entities.

“No, it’s impossible.” Allura whispers.

“They’re her deepest desires.” Zarkon tells them. “Everything she hopes to achieve.”

“How could she possibly achieve any of this?” Hunk wonders. “Zarkon and Lotor are both… gone.”

“Unless she’s going to use Lotor’s ship to pierce through realities and find the one where she can live with her family.” Pidge murmurs.

“Is that even possible?” Hunk asks her, and she frowns.

“Not without destroying all other realities in the process.”

In the silence that follows, Keith sighs heavily. “I’m really getting tired of this megalomaniac family.” He mutters under his breath.

Then Honerva figures out they’re there and deletes their lions.

“Where did they go?” Keith barks.

“You’re in her mind, she’s more powerful here.” Zarkon says, resignation clear in his tone.

“What do we do?” He yells.

“There’s nothing you can do… but accept defeat.” Zarkon tells him.

Despite the dark storm raging around them, Keith feels his eye twitch, and he turns to the Galra emperor with clenched fists.

“ _Hell_ no.” He growls. “We won’t give up. We’ve been through worse shit than this. We beat _your_ ass, we kicked _Lotor_ ’s ass, and we can beat her too. I _refuse_ to lay down and let her take us like she took all of you!”

Zarkon gives him a weirdly gentle look. “That’s your Galra lineage. It’s what makes you a great leader of Voltron. You and I share that trait.”

Keith narrows his eyes. “No, it’s me being the same stubborn asshole I’ve always been. That’s all me. I’ve always refused to let people keep me down. This is no different.” He points an accusatory finger at the former Black Paladin. “I’m nothing like you, cowering inside your insane wife’s mind and ready to accept defeat. I’m not dying here so she can keep me trapped for eternity. I’m getting the hell out, and then, I’m going to kick her ass too.”

Zarkon stares at him for a long moment, then laughs. “Something tells me that in a different life, you and I would have gotten along quite well.”

“Well I guess we’ll never know. Now are you going to help us, or not?”

Zarkon looks down at his hand, and takes it.

“The strength of ten paladins working together as one is the strongest force in the universe.” Alfor says. “Together, we can defeat her, even here, in her own mind.” He claps a hand on Zarkon’s shoulder and squeezes. “Let us ride together again, old friend, one last time.”

Zarkon nods. “If we’re doing this, then let’s get it done, Alfor.”

They re-summon their lions, and reform Voltron, and they fly straight into the eye of the storm.

 _“Keith,”_ he hears in the back of his mind. Zarkon. _“Would you give the Champion- give_ Shiro _a message for me?”_

Keith’s eyes narrow as he works on pushing Black through the storm. “What message?”

_“Tell him, I’m sorry. For everything I put him through, both in the ring, and as a paladin. He’s a good man, and a strong leader, just like his mate. Tell him, he will forever have my respect.”_

Then everything goes white.

~*~

“Shiro! I’m getting readings from Voltron again!” Coran says, relief clear in his voice.

Shiro let’s his shoulders relax. He’s been holding them tense ever since the paladins fell silent. “Oh thank god,” he whispers. Then, louder, “Paladins, report.”

“Shiro,” Keith responds, but his voice is tight with emotion. “Something’s wrong with Allura, she’s not answering us. Have a medical team meet us in the hangar.”

“They’ll be there in five.” Shiro tells him. “Is anyone else hurt?”

“No, the rest of us are fine. See you in a few.”

The radio cuts out.

“Veronica, contact the med bay and tell them to get a team down to the Lions’ Hangar. Coran, come with me. Iverson, you have the bridge.”

He and Coran book it down to the hangar where the med team is waiting. The lions fly in and land, and Black, who’d been towing Blue in her mouth, sets the other lion down as gently as she can manage.

The med team and Coran rush to get Allura out of the lion and whisk her off to the med bay. Lance bolts out of Red and follows without a backwards glance.

Shiro keeps watching Black, who is lowering her head and opening her mouth. After a moment, Keith appears, tugging off his helmet with a deep sigh, then staggers as his knees almost give out, clutching at Black’s hull.

“Keith!” Shiro hurries over and wraps an arom around his fiance’s waist, pulling one of the Black Paladin’s arms across his shoulders.

“I’m okay,” Keith sighs, leaning against him. “Just… exhausted after all that crazy shit.” He reaches up and tugs on Shiro’s collar. “Take me back to our room? I need to lie down.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Shiro murmurs, kissing the top of Keith’s head and quickly whisking him out of the hangar.

They get to their room in record time and Shiro helps strip Keith of his armor and bundles him under the sheets. He removes his own uniform and crawls in behind his fiancé, pulling him close against Shiro’s chest.

“What happened in there?” Shiro murmurs, nosing Keith’s hair softly.

Keith huffs a laugh and places his hand over the arm around his waist.

“Some crazy goddamn shit, Takashi.” Keith sighs. “Some truly crazy, goddamn shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some legends are told  
> Some turn to dust or to gold  
> But you will remember me  
> Remember me for centuries  
> And just one mistake  
> Is all it will take  
> We'll go down in history  
> Remember me for centuries  
> \- Centuries, Fall Out Boy
> 
> I wanted Alfor and Keith to talk. I wanted Zarkon to say something about Shiro. I wanted so many more interactions between old paladins and new. Alas, I can only get that from fanfics. See you next week!  
> (Can you believe there's only 4 chapters left and then LOTRO is done? Jesus)


	46. Soldiers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks. Chapter 46, out on time. See you at the end.

The morning after their dip into Honerva’s head (and after Keith has finished chronicling their insane adventure for Shiro) he heads down to the med-bay where all the other paladins are already hovering around a still unconscious Allura. Coran yells at them. Keith kind of expected that.

Then Shiro calls them all up to the bridge, where Honerva has finally come out of hiding. Keith’s totally sure that isn’t a coincidence or anything. No she just happened to show back up on their radar after they infiltrated her head. Right.

Keith and Pidge call a meeting to let the others know about what they learned in their astral projection mission and why Honerva has probably come out of hiding.

Since they can’t actually _get_ to the bitch (as Allura’s out of commission) they figure out things that they can do in the meantime, while they wait for the princess to wake up. Hunk, Coran and Romelle are off looking for a Balmera to get an extra crystal, which will enable Sam, Slav and Pidge to power the upgrades for the weapons systems they’re trying to install, and his mother and Kolivan are going to take Lahn and persuade another group of Galra soldiers to their side so they’ll have access to a Xyforge cannon.

It’s the best they can do until they can actually wormhole over to Honerva’s position, and it’s a hell of a lot better than doing nothing.

As everyone files out of the room, Keith notices Lance hasn’t moved an inch. He sighs quietly and walks over to his best friend, placing a careful hand on his shoulder.

“She’s gonna be okay.”

Lance glances up at him, then away again. “I hope so. We need to stop Honerva, this force of evil that’s been around for ten thousand years. She has a plan that could destroy every reality, and all _we’ve_ come up with is additional manpower and a prototype weapon.”

“I know it’s not ideal,” Keith says gently, squeezing Lance’s shoulder and sitting in the chair next to him, “but when is the last time anything has been ideal?”

“When you got engaged?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “The last time any of our _battle plans_ have been ideal? Remember when we first arrived at the Castle of Lions? When we first met Allura? She told us we were the answer to saving the universe, but she didn’t know that for sure. But Allura believed, and she needed us to believe, and it worked.”

Lance snorts. “Back then I was cocky enough to actually think I was the greatest pilot in the universe.”

Keith huffs a laugh. “And I thought I had to do everything myself. I know better now, and so do you. We’ve come a long way since back then, Lance.”

“Yeah,” Lance says, laughing a little. “Yeah we have.”

“Hey, we haven’t lost yet. We won’t lose until we give up hope, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan on giving up without a fight.”

Keith stands, and tugs Lance up with him.

“I haven’t given up.” Lance tells him. “Let’s finish what we started.”

Keith nods then quickly pulls Lance into a tight hug. “We’re all gonna get through this.” He murmurs.

Lance’s arms wrap around him and squeeze him back. “Since when did you become the optimist?”

“Sometime between Shiro, realizing I trust multiple people, my mom, and now.” Keith huffs.

“Well, it’s a good look on you.” Lance pulls back and Keith releases him. “Alright, Mister Leader Guy, let’s get this show on the road.”

~*~

Keith heads up to the bridge then, as he… really has nothing better to do. Hunk’s going to get the Balmera crystal, Pidge is working on the weapons upgrade, Lance is headed down to sit with Allura, who is still out, and Shiro is probably a tightly wound ball of stress like he usually is in these situations but is very good at hiding it. He hopes his presence may help.

Apparently, they’ve been getting a lot of wormhole signatures in the last hour or so, and Shiro clearly doesn’t like it. As it turns out one of their scouts is near the most recent wormhole, so that eases Shiro’s mind a little. At least they’ll know what’s going on.

While they’re waiting for their scouts to have a visual, Keith steps up onto the central bridge platform and wraps his arms around Shiro’s waist, setting his chin on the older man’s shoulder.

“How are you holding up?” He murmurs quietly.

“I’ll live.” Shiro mutters back, human hand coming up to rest over Keith’s arm. “You shouldn’t be doing this in the middle of the bridge.”

“Why?”

“It’s not exactly professional.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Takashi, everyone on this ship knows we’re engaged to be married. A little PDA isn’t going to shock them.”

Shiro sighs. “It’s the principle of the thing. And aren’t you the one who didn’t used to like PDA?”

Keith hums. “Yeah, well, things change.”

The scouts find the source of the wormholing then, and Keith steps away from Shiro, opting to simply take his hand instead. Shiro squeezes his hand briefly, then they turn their attention to the monitor.

It’s not a ro-beast. It’s the Oriande temple ship. It’s Honerva’s home base. And behind it…

“Well fuck.” Keith mutters. “Is _everyone_ getting a giant mech now?”

Then their scouts are wiped out, and it’s not as funny anymore.

Thankfully they get some good news on two fronts. Pidge comes on the bridge and tells them the weapons upgrades are good to go, they just need the power source, and Lance comms them to let them know Allura’s awake.

He feels a little bad about throwing so much information at her as soon as she sets foot on the bridge, but they’re on a bit of a timer, here. Honerva’s in her home star system and is probably getting ready to start ripping through realities any second now.

They let Hunk and the others know where they’re going, then wormhole into some kind of absolute freakshow. There’s no time to process what’s going on so Keith just orders the available paladins to their lions and they go out do try and fuck shit up. As usual for them, it goes pretty poorly.

There’s an Altean ro-beast for each of them, and a couple more to spare, so for the most part they’re all dodging and trying not to get obliterated.

Then something happens on the Atlas, and a lot of energy is transferred from the ship to Honerva’s. Keith has a very bad feeling. Then one of the ro-beasts attacks Honerva’s ship. Keith shakes his head to try and clear it. At this point, nothing should surprise him, and yet.

More bullshit happens as Hunk comes back with the Balmera, Honerva using the Balmera to power her mech, and then Honerva’s mech and Lotor’s fusing into some unholy nightmare-fuel combination.

Again, nothing should surprise him anymore. And yet, shit like this still manages to happen.

Keith groans and tries to move Black, but she’s not having it. those weird wing shards that Honerva shot at them also seem to have the energy-draining powers of the Kohmar.

“Paladins, status?” He huffs.

“I’m offline.” Lance grunts.

“Me too.” Pidge sighs.

Then Hunk calls attention to the light show going on above them. Honerva is almost through the barrier between realities. Hunk goes to drop off his passengers, Allura’s on her way, and Keith tells Coran to figure out how to stich the fabric of reality back together, or at least work out a patch job. He and the other paladins try to hold off the two still aggressive ro-beasts while that’s going on.

And Honerva’s apparently powerful enough to stop the Black Lion’s phasing. Jesus Christ.

Atlas is having it out with Honerva’s demented Angel of Death, the ro-beasts are kicking the lions’ asses, and Keith is having a really, really bad day.

But then Allura gets there, and they can form Voltron, so Keith feels a little better. But not by much. Shit is still actively hitting the fan as the blade wing things are still spinning rapidly and trying to break down the barrier, and Coran still hasn’t contacted them with a way to fix it. They’re holding their own against the ro-beasts for now, but how much longer do they have before they’re too late to fix things?

The rogue Altean pilot helps them dispatch the two remaining ro-beasts, but they’re too late. The barrier has been pierced, and Honerva disappears through the rift before they can stop her.

Keith grits his teeth. No. No way in hell is she getting away from them now, after everything they’ve been through.

“Come on, we’re going in.” He grits out. “Atlas, stay on me.”

“I’m afraid the Atlas can’t do that.” Coran stammers.

“Coran’s right, it isn’t made out of the same ore. It can’t traverse realities.” Pidge explains.

Keith scowls. He doesn’t like the idea of leaving Shiro here, but…

“Then we’re going in alone.”

“Actually, that appears to be problematic as well.” Slav pipes up.

“What?” Keith growls, exasperated.

“The statistical likelihood of Voltron succeeding against Honerva in a one-on-one battle is well below improbable.”

“We’ll have a better chance than if we don’t try at all.” Allura argues, then gasps at what happens next.

Balmera. A _lot_ of Balmera. Led by _their_ Balmera. Son of a bitch.

“What’s going on?” Lance rasps.

“It’s a convuldrum. A converging of Balmera.” Coran says, stunned.

“What called them here?” Lance continues, but Hunk seems to have caught it too.

“Shay.” He says fondly.

All the Balmera begin glowing, and so do Voltron and Atlas, and there is a weird shift in power, and suddenly…

Oh hell. Apparently Honerva isn’t the only one who can fuse mechs.

“Okay, that’s it.” Keith huffs, looking around and feeling out the new Voltron/Atlas fusion. “This is _officially_ the craziest shit to happen to us in space.”

Everyone else is also baffled, but they really don’t have a chance to contemplate what just happened. All Keith knows is that he can feel Shiro’s energy thrumming through Voltron’s bond again, and that they are going to _kick Honerva’s ass_.

They plow through several collapsing realities, several doomed Alteas, and Keith grits his teeth and keeps pushing them forwards. They need to put an end to this. _Now_.

Honerva surprises them in the next reality, though. Seems she expected them to follow her. They end up completely out of power as this reality turns to dust around them.

“We need to get up.” Lance snarls over the comm.

“I can’t move.” Hunk groans.

Shiro grunts. “The ship’s not responding.”

“Honerva. She’s absorbed all our strength.” Allura says, voice faint.

“This reality… it’s over.” Pidge murmurs.

Keith grits his teeth. “No. We’ve always done the impossible. Our strength is our bond. Our power comes from each other. That’s something the witch can _never_ take away from us. As long as we’re a team… as long as we’re _family_ , we stand a chance. Sendak, Zarkon, Lotor, we’ve saved our universe countless times. But now, all the realities are in need of Voltron, so this isn’t the end, not by a long shot. We need to get back up, and stop that bitch once and for all!”

Power floods through their bond, and slowly, they stand up. They make it through the tunnel just in time, and find themselves in Honerva’s “perfect” reality, though judging by her presence as soon as they land, and the fury with which she lashes out at the Altean castle, maybe it wasn’t so perfect after all.

Serves her right, all things considered.

They end up in a sword fight of epic proportions and try to keep it as far away from a populated area as they can manage.

But goddamn does Keith hate those stupid wing-blades. She ends up ripping a hole in this reality too, using their energy no less, and vanishing again.

“We can’t let this happen.” Shiro pants out. “She can’t get away!”

So they rip the blades out and go after her. One way or another, this ends, _now_.

They end up in the space where all realities converge. And Honerva is cutting the threads that make up those realities left and right. It seems that if she can’t have her happy ending, there should be no ending at all. There should be nothing, and god knows they can’t let that stand.

“She’s destroying all realities!” Allura cries.

They try to reach her, but waves of energy from the collapsing realities keep pushing them back. When the onslaught finally stops…

“She’s destroyed everything. There’s only one reality left.” He says shakily.

“No, Please!” Allura rasps, and they move.

Before Honerva can cut that final thread, they stop her. This is it, the last battle. And if they lose it… everything will be lost forever.

Keith always knew the end would consist of a knock down, drag out, no holds barred battle in space, he just never suspected the stakes would be quite this high. He’s sure no one did. It was bad enough worrying about their own universe, but now, they’re fighting for all universes.

And they _must_ win.

Something happens when she makes the final push for the last strand. Something in their bond resonates, and even without their bayards, they form Voltron’s massive wings, and push her back. He feels all their heartbeats in his chest, as though they’re his own, and they push as one, breaking Honerva’s hold on them… and entering another plane.

They emerge in pure white. The core of existence. Honerva is on her knees before them, panting raggedly.

She jumps when she sees them, and bristles. “Where are we?” She demands.

“The connected consciousness of all existence.” Allura tells her.

“You think you’re safe here?” She tries to put contempt into the words, but there’s too much exhaustion, too much fear. “Soon all will cease to exist.”

“You have to stop this.” Hunk tells her. “All these worlds, all these realities, they deserve to live.”

“Those realities are flawed and weak.” Honerva hisses. “Living out the same pathetic cycle of war and pain.”

“And you think you have the right to decide their fate? The fate of every soul in existence?” Keith asks quietly. “No one has that right.”

“I achieved what no one else could! I found this place, who’s to say that wasn’t meant to happen? Who’s to say I wasn’t destined to end it all?”

“If that’s the case,” Keith sighs, “then why didn’t you? If destiny foretold you destroying realities, something would have kept us from interfering. But it didn’t. So if your destiny was to try to destroy everything, than we were destined to stop you.”

She goes quiet at that, and Allura approaches her.

“Realities may be flawed,” The princess says quietly, “but there is beauty in those flaws. Destiny would not have them snuffed out so quickly. I lost my father, my mother, my planet, to that same cycle of war and pain you’re referring to. But I gained a new family, and a purpose, a destiny, stronger than any I could have imagined.”

“Humans began very flawed.” Pidge tells Honerva. “There were wars, hate, but with each mistake, they learned and grew.”

“And now we reach out to other worlds to pass on those same lessons, and spread them across the entire universe, like your people once did.” Shiro continues.

“And with every new world touched, the message grows.” Hunk adds.

“Every world, every reality, we wouldn’t exist without the others.” Keith murmurs.

“Our differences are what make us stronger.” Lance finishes.

“You think your words mean anything to me?” Honerva sneers. “I’ve lived multiple lifetimes, and all of them filled with pain and loss. If I cannot experience the simple joys of life, why should anyone else?”

Allura reaches out and takes the sides of Honerva’s face gently. She floods her with the memories they’d found in her own head. Happier times, when she was at peace, before the war, before anything. When she had been able to experience those simple joys.

When Allura takes her hands away, the long, jagged marks on the witch’s face shift back into simple Altean markings. The witch Haggar is finally dead, and left in her place is a broken, grieving woman, horrified by what she’s done.

“You tried to help him. He was happy.” She whispers, as memories of Lotor and Allura flit through the air around them. “He deserved better. Better than I could give.”

“Lotor may have been misguided, but ultimately, he wanted to preserve life. Honor your son. Help me change this.”

Honerva turns to stare up at the princess. “I’m sorry, but the damage is done. There’s nothing left to save.”

Allura looks away for a brief moment, biting her lip and clenching her eyes shut, then opens them again, a strange determination burning within them, and looks back at Honerva. “I can change the quintessence within your vessel. Your son helped me learn how to transform it from a destructive force, into a life-giving force.” She holds out her hand. “But I cannot do it alone.”

Honerva stares at the princess’s hand, then up at her face. “But, that would require-”

“I know the risks.” Allura says firmly.

Honerva takes her hand.

As the other Altean woman stands, Allura turns to face them with a hollow look in her eyes. Keith grits his teeth. He knew there had to be a catch.

“I’m afraid this is where we part ways.” Allura says quietly, confirming Keith’s suspicions.

A chorus of confused murmurs comes from the people around them, but Keith just meets her eyes. He knew there would be a price to pay for this kind of destruction. He was just hoping Honerva would be the only one who’d have to pay it.

“This is our only chance to undo what has been done.” Allura tells them. “To save _all_ of existence. I have to take it. This is _my_ destiny. Your paths go on. Mine ends here.”

“But there is no Voltron without you.” Hunk says quietly.

Allura walks up to the Yellow Paladin. “Voltron isn’t needed anymore. The rest of the work is up to the people.” She cups Hunk’s cheek gently. “And they’ll have you to guide them, Hunk.” She pulls him into a hug as he starts crying, then she pulls away and moves on to Pidge.

“Goodbye, Pidge.”

“I’m gonna miss you, Allura,” The girl says, clearly fighting back tears.

Allura hugs her too, very gently. “Remain curious, and fearless.” She tells the Green Paladin.

Then she turns to Shiro.

“Most of them won’t know the sacrifice you made so they could live.” He says quietly as she stops in front of him.

“And they’ll never need to.” Allura says firmly. “Your selflessness taught me that. My only regret is that, I won’t be able to stand with you at your wedding.”

“We’ll miss having you there.” Shiro whispers and pulls the princess in for a hug.

“Thank you, Shiro.” Allura murmurs.

“You _never_ have to thank me, for anything.” Shiro rasps.

Then Allura pulls back and turns to him.

“This is bullshit.” He says before she can open her mouth. “There has to be something we can do.”

She laughs a little. “There’s no fighting our way out of this one, my friend. But I appreciate the thought.” She reaches out very carefully and takes his hand when he doesn’t move away. “Keith, I cannot thank you enough for all that you’ve given me. And I must also apologize for… everything, that has happened between us that has caused you pain.”

Keith snorts. “I haven’t done much. And I’ve long since forgiven you for all that shit. When you accepted me, it helped me accept myself. When you all proved over and over that you would be there for me, it helped me trust again. What could I have possibly done that could compare to all that?”

“You’ve done more than you know.” Allura whispers, and then, smiling, asks, “May I hug you?”

Keith huffs a laugh and tugs her close. “You are one of the few people who doesn’t have to ask.”

“I wish you and Shiro all the happiness in the universe.” She murmurs, then pulls away, and turns to Lance, taking his hands gently.

“No,” he rasps, “Allura there, there has to be another way.”

“There is no other way.” She whispers. “This is all we have.”

“But you’re too important to the cause, you’re,” He chokes and presses his forehead against hers. “You’re too important to me.”

“I will always be with you, Lance.” Allura promises, “And I’ll always love you.” She takes his face between her hands and kisses him, thumbs brushing over his cheeks, and when she pulls away, the spots she’d brushed glow, and a set of light blue Altean markings are left. A permanent reminder of her promise.

A light appears in the distance, and slowly figures take shape. The paladins of old, all of them, and Lotor. They’re waiting.

Honerva and Allura turn and walk into the light, and suddenly, they’re all back in the mech. There’s a bright burst of light off to their left, and the threads of all realities flood out from the core once again, as if they’d never been gone.

One more burst of light, and suddenly, they’re home. Keith doesn’t know how he knows, but he’s certain. Allura sent them home. The Atlas and the Lions are separate again, but fully functional, and as they slowly come to, they’re hit with the reality of what just happened.

Allura is gone.

“Are we…?” he asks, just to make sure.

“Yeah. This is our reality.” Pidge confirms quietly.

“She did it.” Lance murmurs. “She saved us all.”

“Takashi?” Keith asks on the Atlas line.

“I’m here.” Shiro says. “We’re all here.”

“All but one.” Keith sighs.

“I don’t remember that planet being there before.” Hunk says, and they all turn to see a shining blue planet before them.

Keith’s eyes soften as he looks at it. She did more than just restore the reality as it was. She restored it to the way it should be.

Lance confirms it, voice soft and sad as he says it.

“It’s Altea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We stand shoulder to shoulder  
> We stand shoulder to shoulder  
> We stand shoulder to shoulder  
> You can’t erase us  
> You’ll just have to face us  
> We are the ones who will never be broken  
> With our final breath  
> We’ll fight to the death  
> We are soldiers, we are soldiers  
> \- Soldiers, Otherwise
> 
> And thus ends Season 8, otherwise known as the cursed season. I can already hear you saying "I thought you said the end was getting retconned! Allura still died and so it was still bullshit!" I know. Don't worry, she comes back next chapter. Because S8 may be over but there's still 4 chapters left. Which will cover the One Year Later bit (with Allura coming back), Wedding Stuff, the honeymoon (winkwink) and a less shitty epilogue. We're close to the end, everybody. Hope you'll stick with me for the rest of the ride.


	47. Little Wonders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 47 with the One Year Later part and ALLURA NOT BEING DEAD LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN CANON. Is it cheesy? Yes. Do I care? No. Have at it.

The worst part is having to tell Coran.

When they land on Altea, with a ring of Balmera circling high in the sky, Sam, Slav and Coran are waiting for them. Pidge runs to her father, but Shiro, Keith and Lance approach the older Altean carefully.

“You did it! Oh, thank the ancients, you beat her, oh, I’m so glad. Where’s Allura?”

They all exchange glances.

“She’s gone.” Shiro murmurs quietly.

Coran’s face falls.

Lance takes the older Altean’s shoulder and leads him off to the side, quietly explaining what had happened since they left their reality. Keith sees Coran reach up and touch the Altean markings on Lance’s face before breaking down in tears.

Keith turns away. They need a moment. He sighs heavily and leans against Shiro’s side, humming when he feels an arm wrap around his waist.

“It’s over.” Shiro whispers. “All of it. Everything that we started when we left for Kerberos. It’s… it’s all over.”

“Yeah, it is.” Keith sighs. “And now we gotta dust ourselves off and start picking up the pieces of what’s left.”

“It’ll take a while. So many people have been destroyed by this war. So many people have died. And Allura… that’s not something any of us will get over any time soon.”

“No.” Keith agrees. “It’ll leave a scar. But I’m used to dealing with emotional scars at this point. We just have to keep going.”

Lips press against his hair. “And we will. We always do.”

Keith nods. “Always.”

~*~

Altea isn’t the only planet Allura brought back. All of the planets in the system have returned, including Daibazaal. The Blades have begun leading recolonization efforts, and Keith joins them when he can, but despite what Allura had said, Voltron is still a little bit needed.

The Lions are all split, leading different recolonization and aid projects, but every time people see one of the lions fly overhead, their tensions ease a bit. What she’d said to him so long ago still holds true, Voltron is a symbol of hope. Maybe now more than ever.

Pidge is helping the Olkari settle back onto a newly reformed Olkarion, which the Green Paladin is endlessly thankful for. Matt is with her. So is Colleen. Sam still has his major duties aboard the Atlas, but he keeps in contact with his family pretty regularly, and they never don’t know where he is.

Hunk is starting a sort of diplomatic catering business, inspired by what Allura had said to him. He’s hit a few snags with setting everything up, but he’s happy. And his family – and Shay – are all with him. He calls them all every so often, exhausted from his day’s work, but he’s proud of what he’s doing.

Lance is helping Coran settle the Alteans on newly-resurrected Altea. They all feel terrible about falling prey to Honerva’s schemes, but the two men make it clear that no one blames them in the least, and that their princess would be so happy to see them all finally come home. Last he heard from Lance, they’ve commissioned a statue in Allura’s honor for the courtyard outside the new Altean castle.

Shiro keeps himself very busy with reigning in the last pockets of Galra resistance, but he has a lot of former Galra soldiers helping him keep everything peaceful. No one knows where he is at any given moment (except for Keith) because his work takes him all over, exploring the stars, like he always wanted.

When Keith isn’t helping his mom and Kolivan keep order on the reforming Daibazaal, he’s on the Atlas, forcing his idiot fiancé to take a break so he doesn’t burn out. He’s perfectly happy with the way things are, even if he hasn’t seen Earth since they left it, aside from one pit stop to pick up Lance, Hunk and Shiro’s families. The Shiroganes have a “summer home” on Altea now. Shiro is endlessly amused about it.

They haven’t gotten married yet. They’re waiting until things are a little more stable, and also, out of respect for one person who should be there, but won’t be able to.

~*~

Keith sighs as he walks inside the Galra palace after delivering a speech to the masses. He’ll never get used to that whole public speaking thing.

The wolf – who he will never, _ever_ call Kosmo – has gotten even bigger in the past year, big enough for Keith to ride, which he’s doing now, letting him carry Keith through the palace halls and towards his own chambers.

“Keith!”

Keith turns his head and waves. “Hey, Mom.”

“You did good, firecracker.” She beams at him and ruffles his hair. “You off to pack?”

“Yeah, I have to get up early in order to make the wormhole jump.”

Krolia nods. “Well say hi to the others for me, okay? And tell Shiro to stop by soon! He and the Atlas crew could use a break.”

“I’ll tell him.”

The next morning, he takes Black and heads for coordinates sent to him a few days ago, then he passes through the wormhole that forms and arrives in front of Altea.

They’d agreed, no matter how busy they were, they would all make time to meet up and hang out for at least a solid week, to celebrate the completion of Allura’s statue, and to celebrate their friend who cannot be with them.

Keith sighs as he heads towards the landing platform. The Red Lion and Blue Lion are there, of course, but aside from them he’s the first one here. He sets Black down and exits the Lion while the wolf runs off to play with a nearby group of Altean children.

Keith goes in the opposite direction, headed for a meadow full of juniberries. He finds who he’s looking for sitting under a tree at its edge.

“Hey.”

Lance looks up when he speaks, startled, then smiles. “Hey, man.”

Keith sits next to the Red Paladin carefully. “Haven’t heard from you in a few weeks.” He says casually.

Lance laughs a little and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ve uh, been pretty busy.”

Keith levels his best friend with an unamused look. “You promised me, Lance.”

“I know, I know. But I promise I’m not pulling a you-during-Shiro’s-absence thing. I’m not spiraling. I’m not catatonic. Coran’s keeping an eye on me, and so are my family, and I’m fine.”

“Then why haven’t you called me?”

Lance sighs and reaches up to rub at his cheek, over the Altean marking. He pauses when he realizes he’s doing it, and laughs. “I keep thinking there’s something on my face and try to rub it off.” He says. “Then I remember what it is, and why it’s there and… Hell, Keith, I may not be catatonic, but…”

“You’re still grieving.” Keith says gently.

“I don’t think I’ll ever not be grieving. She was… she _is_ the only girl I’ve ever really, _truly_ loved. And she was important to me. Losing her like that… it’s been almost a year exactly, Keith, and I’m still feeling like it happened yesterday.”

“I know that feeling very well.” Keith says, leaning against Lance’s side. “One day, it’ll lessen. It’ll never be gone, but you’ll remember how to breathe again.”

“I hope so.”

He sits with Lance for a little while longer until the Red Paladin is called away to give a history lesson to a visiting school group. Keith is endlessly amused. He heads into the castle where Coran hugs him tightly and shows him to the room he and Shiro will be occupying for their week-long Festival of Allura celebrations.

Once he’s changed out of his paladin armor and into his civvies, the door opens, and Shiro walks in.

“Hey, baby.”

Keith grins and throws himself into Shiro’s arms. “Hey, you guys just get in?”

“Yeah, Atlas docked about ten minutes ago.” A finger is tucked under his chin and Keith lifts his head expectantly as Shiro leans down to kiss him. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too, superman.” Keith sighs. “I know it’s only been a week, but I hate being away from you.”

“I know the feeling.” Shiro murmurs, kissing him again before shrugging his bag off his shoulder and setting it down on the bed.

Once Shiro’s changed, the two of them head outside to see the Green Lion landing and Hunk and Lance laughing and talking, walking down the steps leading from Allura’s statue.

“It’s good to see us all in one place again.” Keith sighs. “We’re all so busy lately. I hope this doesn’t become a habit, only meeting up once a year.”

“Once things smooth out, we’ll be able to spend more time together.” Shiro promises. “For now, this will have to do.”

They walk up to the Green Lion as it lowers its head and Pidge hops out and straight into Shiro’s arms.

“How’s Earth?” Shiro laughs, hugging her.

“Dad’s having a blast trying to figure out the teludav system – he says to tell you thanks for giving him some time off, by the way – and Matt and I are _building a robot_.”

“Of course you are,” Keith sighs, then huffs a laugh as he’s subjected to his own Pidge hug. “Where is your brother, by the way? We told him he was welcome to come.”

Pidge sighs and crosses her arms. “I know, I told him, but, he said it might be best if it was just the six of us. You know, for the first year.”

All three of them go quiet at that. They don’t stay quiet, though, as Hunk runs over and gives them all a massive bear hug, exclaiming how much he’d missed them all.

“Hunk, you’ve been on the Atlas with me.” Shiro laughs as he receives a hug as well.

“I know but that’s all formal diplomacy stuff! I missed hanging out as friends!”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “You made dinner for the two of us three nights ago and we stayed up talking for several hours.”

“Well, still.”

“Ah! Paladins! So good to see you all in one place!” Coran’s voice says from behind them. Keith turns to see the man walk up with Merla trailing behind.

“Good to see you too, Coran.” Shiro says warmly, and they all ply the older Altean with hugs of his own.

“Now, our little feast won’t be ready for another couple of hours, so why don’t we go take a tour of the city! I’m quite pleased by how it’s coming along.”

So they let Coran lead them through the Altean capitol, which has been Coran’s main project since Altea was reformed. There are plenty of Alteans left to repopulate the whole planet, though it will take several generations for that to happen, so for now Coran is focused mainly on the capitol and a few outlying towns.

When evening begins to creep in, Coran gets a message from Merla telling him their dinner is ready, so they head back to Allura’s statue to spend the evening together and reminisce about their lost friend.

Everyone chimes in to talk about what they’ve been doing in the eight months they’ve been apart and it’s a little bittersweet when Keith realizes that. Eight months since they’ve been together like this. He misses the days when they were all crammed together in the castle, just the seven of them against the universe. It almost seems lonely now, in comparison.

“I mean seriously, though, Earth has come a long way.” Pidge is saying when Keith tunes back in. “It’s a hub for all alien activity now that my dad’s stabilized his teludav technology.”

“That’ll make travel on the Atlas much easier. We’ll be able to reach so many more sectors with the improved mobility.” Shiro says brightly. “Not to mention the supplies we’ll save with the shorter journey.”

Keith sighs at his fiancé, who had decided that it was a good idea to change back into his uniform for their very informal dinner. When Keith had pointed out it was just them, Shiro had rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously and told Keith it was habit at this point.

“Yeah, yeah! We’ll have so much more room for the cooking ingredients.” Hunk says, grinning and waving his utensils around. “People are just so much easier to reason with when they’re full. Man, this diplomacy thing isn’t nearly as easy as Allura made it look.”

Keith snorts. “Right? But then, she did make everything look easy.”

“Speaking of which, how are things going on Daibazaal? I forgot to ask you earlier.” Shiro asks.

“We’re calling for an election to select the Galran representative for the Galactic Coalition. So that’s a step in the right direction.”

Lance laughs on his other side. “Let me guess, they asked you to be their leader and you said no?”

Keith smirks. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Classic Keith.”

The others around the table laugh and Shiro reaches out to squeeze his hand. Keith shakes his head at the others and squeezes back.

“Allura would be proud of your decision, Keith.” Coran says gently once the laughter has died down. “I think she knew that you would always be the key to the Galra’s future.” He pauses, then looks around at them all, a little fond and a little sad. “Just around this table I see so many lives touched by her actions. For some of us she was a diplomat, a teacher, a leader, and a friend. But for those of us around this table, she will always be family.”

A pause, then the man stands, holding up his glass. “To Allura.”

“To Allura” echoes around the table, all of them raising their glasses and taking a drink.

Conversation picks back up after that, and it’s another few hours before they all retire to their guest rooms.

Keith stays awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Allura. He misses her terribly. They all do. And while this gathering to see each other and to celebrate her was a great idea, it’s also dredged up all those feelings of loss, especially for Lance and Coran.

Next to him, Shiro grumbles in his sleep and rolls over, pillowing his head on Keith’s chest and slinging an arm across his stomach. Keith smiles and runs his fingers through his fiancé’s hair slowly. Thankfully, nightmares aren’t too common anymore, for either of them.

They’d never admit it to anyone, maybe not even to each other, but the main reason they’ve put off planning their wedding is because of Allura. They both know it won’t feel right without her there. but she’d probably be angry with them for putting it off all because of her. Even still, they’re going to wait a while longer, until the pain is a little less fresh.

Keith sighs and turns towards the window… and is confronted with a bright light that suddenly floods their room. Keith hisses and covers his eyes, and then he hears a roar.

Black?

Next to him, Shiro startles awake. “What is that?” He asks blearily, wiping at his eyes. His metal arm powers on and floats over to the window, drawing back the curtains. The lions… they’re…

They’re leaving. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he does.

“Come on.” Keith hisses, throwing off the covers and hurrying to the door, Shiro right on his heels.

They emerge into the courtyard where the Lions had been resting, and the other paladins run out of their respective rooms as well.

All of the Lions but Blue are hovering in the air, and as they watch, each of them light up, speaking to their paladins.

 _“You have nothing to fear, little cubs,”_ Black purrs, and the words thrum through his entire being. _“We shall return to you._ All _of us.”_

And with a sonic boom, five streaks of colored light ascend into the atmosphere and are gone, just like that.

Keith is suddenly very dizzy, and it’s only Shiro’s hand on his shoulder that keeps him from falling back.

“Keith, Keith can you hear me?” Shiro is saying, voice urgent.

“I, yeah.” He shakes his head and looks back to see Shiro’s worried face. “Did you… not hear what she said?”

“I did,” Shiro confirms, frowning, “but the four of you, your eyes started glowing, and you spoke the words out loud, in unison. It was a little freaky.”

“Oh. Uh, sorry?”

Shiro shakes his head, still frowning, and looks up. “Where did they go?” He murmurs.

“And why?” Hunk asks. Keith tuns his head to see the other paladins also look a little unsteady on their feet.

“Yeah, if they’re going to come back, then why are they leaving? What is it they have to do without us?” Pidge asks shakily.

Keith looks at Lance, and his best friend looks back. His Altean marks are glowing.

Keith narrows his eyes. “You don’t think…?”

Lance shakes his head, and wipes tears from his eyes. “I, I don’t know, man.”

“I guess, we’ll just have to wait and see.” Shiro murmurs.

They all stand outside, staring up at the stars, for a very long time.

~*~

They spend their week on Altea, as they’d promised each other they would. The week-long Festival of the Princess is similar to the one for Clear Day they’d gone to, with food and games and rides. Aliens from all over the galaxy arrive to celebrate the woman who’d given her life to save them.

Keith and the other paladins, while they do enjoy the festival and have fun, spend most of the week contemplating their Lions’ sudden departure. Coran had freaked out the next morning to find them all gone and had freaked out even more when they’d told him what happened, but they still couldn’t figure out why the Lions had left in the first place. He and Lance had talked about it, talked about the possible implications of his marks glowing and the tears that had come unbidden, but there was no way to be sure until the lions came home.

The last day of the festival was the same day Allura had sacrificed herself, and there was a huge parade and fireworks to commemorate it.

That night, Keith doesn’t even get in the bed. He sits by the window and waits. If they’re coming back, tonight’s the night. Shiro sits with him in silence, and they stare out at the stars.

It’s closing in on midnight, by the time they see the purple dot coming towards them.

“Black.” Keith breathes, and he and Shiro head out to the courtyard again.

The others emerge as well. None of them look like they had when this first happened, sleepy and disheveled. They’d all been waiting. Coran comes out this time too, and stands behind Lance as they watch Black land.

Yellow comes next and settles in the place she’d left, then Green, then Red.

Last to come is Blue, who descends slower than the others, as if careful not to jostle herself. She sets down gently in the place left for her, directly in front of the path to Allura’s statue. Then she carefully lowers her head. They all wait, breathless, as her jaw settles on the grass, and her mouth opens.

The figure in the Lion’s mouth is a familiar one. Her hair has come down from its bun and has grown _longer_ in her absence. She’s still dressed in her armor. Her eyes are closed, as if she’s asleep where she stands.

Then she sways forwards. Before she can fall to the ground, Lance darts forwards and catches her, holding her like she might vanish in a puff of smoke. And for all they know, she might. Though Keith doubts it.

The woman groans softly, and her eyes flutter open. She looks around a little, brow furrowing, trying to focus on her surroundings.

“Where… am I?” Allura whispers.

Lance laughs faintly and tightens his hold on her. “You’re right where you’re supposed to be; here in my arms.”

Allura looks up. “…Lance?”

“Welcome home, Allura.”

The princess’s eyes go wide, and she looks behind Lance to see them all standing there.

“I’m home?” she whispers, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “I, I’m _home_.” She sobs, and that seems to break everyone’s trance.

Coran is the first one to run to her, full on ugly-crying, and starts patting her down, looking for injuries. Hunk and Pidge join in, also crying, trying to touch whatever part of her they can reach. He and Shiro approach more slowly, and Shiro reaches down to squeeze her shoulder. Keith runs his fingers through her hair.

She’s real. She’s really here. How…?

Keith turns and looks at Blue, who’s still got her mouth open. He turns away from the gross, sobbing pile of his friends and climbs up into her cockpit. He looks around before spying Allura’s helmet on the pilot’s seat. He picks it up, and a piece of paper flutters out.

Keith catches it and tucks the helmet under his arm so he can unfold the sheet. He reads the words on it carefully, then does a double take and reads it again.

“Well I’ll be damned.” He mutters, shaking his head. He re-folds the paper and exits the lion, returning to the impromptu cuddle pile with Allura at the center.

“Where’d you go?” Shiro asks quietly as he sees Keith walk back over.

“Cockpit. Found this,” he holds up the helmet, “and this.” He hands Shiro the folded paper.

The others stop their sobbing as Shiro takes the paper with a frown.

“What is it?” Allura rasps. Her voice is scratchy, like she hasn’t used it in a while.

“A letter.” He tells her. “Read it, Shiro.”

Shiro unfolds the sheet and looks at the words. “It says, ‘Nothing I can do will ever make up for all the suffering I caused, but I hope this is a good start’.” He looks down at Allura, holding the paper out. “It’s signed ‘Honerva’.”

She takes it and reads the words herself. “How did she…?” a huff of breath. “She called the Lions. She called on Voltron.”

“And we are all very, very glad she did.” Pidge tells her.

“I think this does a lot to make up for it all. Like, a whole lot.” Hunk says vehemently, still crying.

“I don’t care who did it or how, I’m just… so glad to have you back.” Coran whispers.

Allura reaches up and pulls her guardian into a one-armed hug, her other arm still curled around the back of Lance’s neck so she doesn’t completely collapse. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.” She whispers.

“I don’t care about that now. You’re _home_.” Coran sighs. “That’s all that matters.”

“Everyone is going to be so happy to see you.” Shiro says fondly. “I know we’re happy beyond words.”

Allura smiles. “I’m so happy to be back with all of you.” She whispers. “I never thought I would be again.”

“Well you are, and you’re never going anywhere ever again. Not if I have anything to say about it.” Lance says quietly.

“Keith?”

Keith looks up from where he’d been staring at the ground. Shiro, and the others now, as well, are staring at him with concern. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking.” He says, reaching down and taking Allura’s hand when she reaches up for him. He squeezes gently and rubs little circles against the back of it with his thumb.

“About what?” Shiro asks quietly.

“I was just thinking,” Keith looks down at Allura, then around at all of his friends, then back up to his fiancé. He grins.

“ _Now_ , we can get married.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? She's fine. It's all good. Next chapter will be everyone frantically running around preparing for the Sheith wedding (while the couple in question are off-screen doing... whatever you want to think they're doing ;D). It's nothing but fluff from here on out, ya'll. The angst is over (in this fic). Enjoy the feeling!
> 
> But speaking of other fics, I know I said on my tumblr that I'd try to get Part 6 of TLABL out today as well, but with the hectic nature of my job, it's easiest for me if I only focus on one fic at a time. I'm really sorry to keep pushing Part 6 back but I promise it's not forgotten and WILL happen as soon as LOTRO is finally done. Anyway, have a great week, guys!
> 
> Our lives are made in these small hours  
> These little wonders, these twists & turns of fate  
> Time falls away, but these small hours  
> These small hours still remain  
> All of my regret will wash away some how  
> But I cannot forget the way I feel right now  
> \- Little Wonders, Rob Thomas


	48. Be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not expecting a bunch of short ramblings to turn out this long, but a lot of people had something to say about the upcoming wedding. It's all a little ramble-y but I like it so here it is.

There are five quintants in Coran’s life that have topped all others. The first was the quintant Allura was born, and Alfor told him he was entrusted to be her guardian. That was the best quintant of his life, bar none.

The second best quintant was the one where Allura came home. A whole decaphoebe after she’d died, she came home, and he couldn’t have been more grateful, to the universe, to the ancients, to Honerva.

The third best quintant was the day of Allura’s coronation as queen, one month after her return from the void. All the paladins were there, and the Lions had roared, and Coran had swelled with pride to see Alfor’s little girl ( _his_ little girl) ascend to the throne she was born for.

The fourth best quintant was the day he and Alfor truly became friends. He will never forget the moment his prince turned to him and said “you are one of my closest confidants, and best of friends, Coran. Thank you.”

The fifth best is today, as Keith and Shiro sit across from him, and ask him to be the one to officiate their marriage.

“You… you want me to…” He stammers, stunned.

“We’ve thought about it for a while.” Shiro says, smiling gently as he squeezes Keith’s hand. “There’s no one else we’d want to trust with this. Will you do it for us, Coran?”

Coran tries for all of three ticks to not burst into tears, then decides _quiznak it_ and starts sobbing, throwing himself forwards and embracing the two Black Paladins.

“Yes! Yes of course! I would be honored!”

After he manages to pry himself off them, he gets to work. He goes to Iverson, who as a commander in the Garrison had apparently presided over a few weddings in his time and asks about local Earth traditions. As on Altea, there are apparently hundreds of different wedding traditions and ceremonies. So after he talks to Iverson about the “North American” traditions, he calls up Shiro’s father and asks about Japanese traditions. He wants to make sure he gets everything right. He wants this to be perfect for these two men he’s come to call family, who Allura has come to call family.

Once he has a list of all the traditions, he starts asking Sachiko about the wedding planning. She and the rest of the Paladin Moms are going all out with the decorating and the planning of the reception (the Earth word for the after-ceremony party) and he wants to get their opinion on how to combine the two ceremonies in just the right way to make it special.

“Coran, it’s going to be special for them no matter what.” Krolia tells him as she helps hoist a banner up over the heads of the other moms. “They’re getting married. No matter how you mash together the traditions, it’s going to be the best day of their lives.”

“But I want to make it _better_.” Coran insists. “I want it to be memorable, down to the very last detail.”

“It will be.” Sachiko tells him gently, laying a hand on his arm. “They asked you to do this, but did they tell you how to do it? No, which means they trust that however you chose to do the ceremony, they’ll accept it gladly. I’m sure they’d even be happy with an Altean ceremony.”

“Forget tradition for a moment.” Krolia says, crossing her arms. “Forget about Japanese and North American and Altean and Galra. Toss all that out the window. Stop trying to cram in all that and just, do your best with what you know about them. Use what you know of Shiro and Keith, and what kind of ceremony _they_ would want.”

Coran thinks about that for a moment, then nods. “I think I can do that.”

~*~

Iverson has seen plenty of weddings between Garrison personnel over the years. He’s attended quite a few, hell, he’s even officiated some. They’re the kind of thing one gets used to when a large group of healthy men and women are crammed together in one space for so long.

So why in the hell is he so damn twitchy about this wedding in particular?

Sure, it’s Shirogane and Kogane. Sure, apparently, they’re the definition of star-crossed lovers that fought through hell to be together. Sure, they’ve been together since before Kerberos and Kogane had _punched_ him when he implied Shirogane was dead and spent that year looking and had spent the time since protecting Shirogane and bringing him back from literal death and-

Yeah, okay. Maybe this wedding was a little bit bigger of a deal than most. And dammit, Iverson cares about those crazy kids. They’re good men who’ve gone through a lot dealing with crazy space wars, and they deserve a little happily ever after. So being a little twitchy and excited about their upcoming nuptials is totally warranted.

Now he’s just gotta figure out what to get them for a wedding gift.

What the hell do you get two paladins who’ve fought through an intergalactic war and one of them is half-alien and the other died? Like, what could they possibly want? It damn well wasn’t a new tea set.

Iverson grumbles to himself as he wanders through the Altean market. While the wedding planning is in effect, the Atlas and her crew are on indefinite shore leave because their captain is an excited, nervous wreck. So they’ve all been bouncing between different planets and enjoying themselves. Except for him, he guesses, and any other crew who are close to Kogane and Shirogane.

He knows the MFE pilots are all going crazy. Kinkade and Griffin are actually _in_ the wedding party, and Rizavi and Leifsdottir are trying to help. Veronica’s brother is one of the Best Men and she’s trying to keep him on track. Sam is freaking out a little and so is Slav for some reason.

Iverson shakes his head and continues to wander. He guesses this is good. Freaking out over a wedding is a nice change of pace from freaking out over being attacked.

He glances up and smiles a little at the mural that’s spread over the side of the castle. Voltron’s paladins all walking into the sunset. Shirogane’s hand on Kogane’s shoulder. Even the Alteans know how much those kids love each other.

He’s so distracted he almost runs into a stall in the market. But when he glances down to make sure he didn’t break anything, he pauses. It’s, ironically, a tea set. But it’s obviously hand painted. The pot is painted to look like Voltron and the five little cups are painted like the lions and it’s stupid and cute and… precisely the kind of thing Shirogane would coo over. Huh, guess this is what he’s gonna get them after all.

He makes his purchase and hurries back to his guest room. Well, that’s one concern out of the way. Now he just has to survive the wedding day itself.

~*~

Krolia walks through the quiet cemetery carefully, watching where she steps. She’s quite a bit bigger than most people who come to visit dead family members.

When Keith had first brought her to Calvin’s grave, she had been skeptical. A body was just a body once the person inside of it was gone. The Galra did nothing special with their dead except hold a brief ceremony of loss. They didn’t place the deceased in special clothes inside special boxes and bury them in special places with special markers.

But now as she crouches in front of the stone tablet that bears the name and dates associated with the father of her child, she can maybe see the appeal. It almost lets you believe you can speak to the dead, and that they’ll be able to listen.

She runs her hand across the stone and sighs. “He’s getting married, Cal.” She whispers. “Our son, he’s getting married. He’s so _happy_ , and that’s really all we could ever have wanted, right? And the man he’s marrying is so good to him. It’s obvious how much they love each other. They’re both so excited it’s contagious. I’ve been helping set up for the wedding and every time Keith comes by he’s jittery and nervous and excited and I just… I wish you could be here. I wish you could see him.”

She sighs and grips the top of the stone, keeping herself balanced. “He reminds me of you. Your determination and your heart. I wish you could see what he’s become. I wish you could see him get married to the man he loves. I wish a lot of things. I wish I’d never left.”

She swallows thickly. “If I hadn’t, maybe you would be here. If I hadn’t, Keith wouldn’t have gone through so much pain and anguish. But I’m here now. I get to see his wedding. I get to see him happy. And I know that even though you can’t be here… I know you’d be so, so proud of him. I am.”

She sighs and stands, brushing off the dirt and grass that had clung to her as she knelt. “I know you were probably so scared of what was going to happen to him without you. And to be honest, you were right to be. But I’m here now, and I will always be here for him. And Shiro will be here for him too. He’s safe and happy and whole, just as he should be.”

She touches the stone one last time before turning and leaving the way she came. Maybe Calvin heard her. Maybe he didn’t, but either way, saying all those things out loud had made her feel a little better. To be honest, she’s a little nervous about Keith getting married too. She’s looking forward to it and wants to make sure everything is perfect.

She squares her shoulders as she makes her way back to the Garrison. She has promises to keep. She has to do what she told Cal she’d do. She’s going to take care of everything so her son’s wedding day will be the best of his life. She’ll make sure of it.

~*~

Kolivan would never admit it. Not to anyone, not even Krolia. He would not even admit it under pain of death, but he is a nervous wreck over the thought of his kit getting bonded.

To be fair, Keith isn’t _his_ kit, not really, but dammit he might as well be. He took the tiny scrap under his wing and kept him from dying on several occasions and finding out he was Krolia’s _son_ made him even more protective, not to mention hearing about his past, and he’s just… really nervous.

He loves Keith. A lot. Void, the little menace might as well be his own flesh and blood for how much Kolivan frets over him. Not that anyone other than Krolia and possibly the kit in question would ever recognize that. So the threat of his fast approaching bonding ceremony (“Wedding, Kolivan. Human’s call them weddings.” Krolia had said to him) has the leader of the Blades and temporary representative of the Galra Empire in full-on panic mode.

He has nothing to do, which makes it worse. If it were a traditional Galra bonding ceremony, he’d be the one officiating and there would be a lot less preparation because all ceremonies follow the same basic pattern and all pack leaders know the ceremony by heart. But this, trying to smash together four different practices (two from Earth, plus Altean and Galran traditions) is a nightmare.

Coran is the one who has to deal with the ceremony itself, which Kolivan supposes is a small blessing, but he is helping Krolia and the other Paladins’ mothers set up for the events. Both the ceremony itself and the celebration that will follow. The other Blades are pitching in as well, when they have time, but still the sheer amount of planning and decorating and arranging is a massive undertaking.

Krolia laughs at him. He deserves it.

“It has to be perfect for them.” He tells the snickering woman gruffly. “After all they’ve been through… they deserve that much.”

“Everyone feels the same way you do, Kolivan, trust me.” Colleen Holt tells him while Krolia continues to cackle madly. “Why do you think all of us are helping Krolia and Sachiko with the preparations? Those two are our children’s friends, and we want them to be happy as well. We know they’d feel just as much pressure for our own children’s weddings.”

“The Paladins are all one large family.”  Sachiko tells him. “And therefore, we are all part of Keith and Takashi’s family. It’s no wonder you’re so nervous. You think of Keith like a son, yes?”

Kolivan nods once.

“Then of course you’re freaking out a little.” Colleen smiles and pats his shoulder. “It’s not everyday your kid gets married, you know? Krolia’s freaking out, too. And Sachiko. And Daichi.”

Sachiko nods sagely. “I’ve been freaking out about it since Takashi told me they were engaged. My husband almost fainted the other day because he’s trying to get Takashi’s kimono ready on time and it’s stressing him out.”

Krolia finally manages to pull herself together and slaps him on the back reassuringly. “It’s okay that you’re panicking, Kolivan. We all are. The best thing you can do is accept it’s happening and power through. We don’t have time to panic when our kids need us.”

Kolivan nods again. “Then let us get it done.”

“That’s the spirit!”

Perhaps Kolivan is panicking about his kit’s bonding, but he can still do something to help. And help he shall.

~*~

Romelle is _very_ excited. Keith is getting married to Shiro! She remembers when she first met Keith and he used stories about his time with Shiro to distract her from all the bad things that were happening. Now, she gets to see them get married!

She’d asked Keith after Allura had come back (which was also very good and Romelle was deeply grateful to not have to say goodbye to anyone else) what she could do to help with the ceremony, and after some consideration, he told her she could be their flower girl.

Of course, she’d had no idea what that meant so she asked Shiro, who was more than happy to tell her. Tossing flowers down the aisle wasn’t a very hard task, but it did seem like a lot of fun. Then Shiro had told her she could do something _else_ in addition to the flower thing. She’s also now in charge of handing the two their rings when the time comes during the ceremony!

She hasn’t seen the rings yet – Keith and Shiro are keeping them a surprise until the day of – but she’s been practicing! Colleen’s been really nice about helping her figure out all of what she’ll be expected to do, and she’s also been informed that the two tasks she’s doing are typically performed by younger members of one of the soon-to-be-wedded’s family.

Curious, she finds Keith and asks him about that. Shouldn’t the jobs go to one of Shiro’s younger cousins, if they’re supposed to be done by family? When she says that, though…

Keith gives her a weird look. “Well, yeah. But you are family, Romelle.”

She blinks at him rapidly. What? “What?”

Keith rolls his eyes and smiles fondly. “I mean, duh? No offense, but how didn’t you notice my mom practically adopting you when we met you?”

“I, you, Krolia…” Romelle’s brain isn’t working at the moment.

Keith sighs and ruffles her hair. “Look, don’t worry too much about it. Just, you are family, okay? It’s why I thought it might be a good task for you, and Shiro mentioned how you could also carry the rings, and it fit. We have everyone else doing something special for our wedding. And now you do too.”

He smiles and runs his fingers through her hair again – gentler this time – before pulling away and turning to walk off. “I gotta go find Shiro. See ya.”

Romelle stands there for several doboshes, just staring after Keith. Then she smiles.

Family. It’s been far too long since she’s had one of those. But she supposes she has one now. And she has to make sure to make the upcoming ceremony as happy as I can possibly be, so their entire family could celebrate.

~*~

Sachiko is happy, and nervous, and a touch melancholic. Her eldest is getting married. She had always wanted to see this day. Six years ago, she thought she was going to see it when Takashi moved in with Adam. She’d been happy then, but it’s nothing compared to what she’s feeling now.

Keith is a wonderful young man, one who’s stuck by Takashi for years, and has saved his life about a dozen times, the way she hears it. she will be elated to call him her son. And Krolia and Kolivan, Keith’s very tall parents (she knows Kolivan is not actually Keith’s father, but goodness, does the man act like it) are both delightful.

She used to think this day would be equal parts wonderful and sad. Wonderful because her son would bind himself to the person he loves above all else, but sad because he could be in so much pain because of his disease.

And then Takashi went to space, and she didn’t think she’d ever have to worry about his wedding or his disease ever again. She grieved. She never stopped grieving. How could one ever get over the loss of one of her children?

But then he came home. With one less arm, snow-white hair, and a lot more scars, physical and emotional, but he was alive, and disease free, and standing hand in hand with someone who loved him more than anything.

Still, it’s a little melancholic, because of how much has happened to the both of them. All that they had to go through in order to get here. All the people they’ve lost. She’s just happy that Allura came back. She liked the girl, when she met her. And she’s been spending a lot of time with the Shiroganes because she’s part of Takashi’s wedding party.

Sachiko sighs a little as she looks over the menu one more time. The Garretts and their catering business are taking care of all of the food completely free of charge, and they’re also delightful people, but they wanted to double-check their menu against the list Takashi and Keith had given to her.

It seems like there’s still so much to do, and the wedding is only a few weeks away! Keith and Takashi had settled on a date and a venue only a week after Allura had come home, and that had been several months ago, so they’ve had plenty of time, but Sachiko needs everything to be perfect for her boy. For both of them.

“You’re doing it again.”

Sachiko looks up to see Krolia standing before her, arms crossed and smile amused.

“Doing what?”

“Sighing. Fretting. Relax, Sachiko, they could get married in the Atlas training room in their paladin armor and they’d be happy. Everything else is for our benefit.”

“I know that.” Sachiko says quietly, sending off a confirmation to the Garretts. “But, I still want to make it special. Takashi, and Keith, they’ve both been through so much. They deserve a day that’s one hundred percent about them. We’ve got to take care of everything, plan for any outcome, so they don’t have to worry about a thing.”

“And that’s why it’s going to be special. Because the people who love them are worrying so much about their happiness. As long as we’re all there, those boys are going to be ecstatic.”

Krolia squeezes her shoulder, then heads off to go check on the decorations.

Sachiko hums and leans back in her chair, looking over the checklist on her datapad. This is going to be the best wedding any of them has ever seen. Her son, and Krolia’s, deserve that much, and more.

~*~

Ryou is kind of freaking out.

His twin brother – who he thought was dead for like four years and turns out he kind of was but not for quite that long – is getting married in two weeks and he’s his best man.

Well. One of them. Matt Holt, Takashi’s best friend, is also sharing best man duties. But still. His brother is getting married and everyone in their family is flipping their shit.

Their mom is helping the Paladin Mom Squad with wedding plans, their dad is hand-sewing Takashi’s wedding kimono, insisting someone else would “get it wrong”, their aunts and uncles and cousins are helping with the decorating alongside the Blade of Marmora (Keith’s extended family/co-workers? Ryou’s not totally sure). Their sisters are doing… whatever most people that are part of a wedding party do to get ready for a wedding.

Ryou, on the other hand, is busy with something else entirely. Well, two somethings. One, he and Matt are trying to figure out Takashi’s bachelor party. They’re coordinating with Lance, Keith’s best man, because all members of both Keith and Takashi’s wedding parties are going to want to spend time with both grooms. It’s a bit of a juggling act but they think they’ve figured it out.

The other thing? Ryou has to give a speech at his brother’s wedding reception, and fuck if he has any idea where to start. He’s Takashi’s twin and they’re close, sure, but he has no idea what’s happened to him in the past few years. He’s not even sure he knows his brother much at all anymore. But dammit, he’s going to try. He owes Takashi that much.

And he is spending a lot of time with Takashi. Since everyone’s main concern right now is WEDDING and Takashi is one of the two being wedded, he’s been very involved in the planning. Ryou’s missed spending time with his brother, and he feels like he’s actually gotten his brother back now.

But still. Writing a speech that encompasses his relationship with his brother, his brother’s relationship with Keith, and their future together? Hell. Absolute hell. He’s been working on it since the two of them got engaged, almost two years ago now. He’s not anywhere near done, and they’re getting married really fucking soon.

“Hey,”

Ryou jerks at the voice, and the hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t heard his door open. He’s been curled over his data pad for the better part of an hour trying to get some done on said speech.

“Hey, Takashi.” Ryou sighs, turning a little to look up at his brother. He’s got his “older brother is very concerned” look on his face (he’s only eleven minutes older, but he’s always acted older, and Ryou’s okay with that) and squeezes his shoulder gently.

“Ka-san said you’ve been holed up in here for a while. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing’s… wrong… hey, shouldn’t you be with Keith?”

Takashi frowns. “I came by because Tou-san needed to make some adjustments to the kimono while I was wearing it, figured I’d check up on you.”

Ryou huffs. “I’m fine, I promise. I just… speeches aren’t exactly my strong suit, you know? There’s a reason you were our class valedictorian and not me.”

Takashi raises an eyebrow. “I was valedictorian because I actually _showed up_ to class.”

“Eh, details.”

Takashi shakes his head and sits on the edge of Ryou’s bed. “You want my opinion?”

“On the speech I’m going to give at _you’re_ wedding? Yeah, sure.”

Takashi smiles and leans forwards. “Stop worrying about it.”

Ryou blinks. “I’m sorry?”

Takashi rolls his eyes a little. “Ryou, don’t stress out about a silly speech. I don’t care about that. All I care about is that I’m going to be able to get married to the man I love with my whole family there to see it, and with you standing right there with me. That’s all that matters. So please don’t worry so much. If the time comes and you still haven’t gotten it finished? Do what you do best.”

Takashi starts to stand and Ryou manages to stammer out “and that is?”

An honest to god _smirk_ crosses Takashi’s face. What even- “Wing it.”

Ryou’s jaw drops as Takashi leans down and kisses the top of his head before strolling out with a cheerful “good luck!”

Ryou sits there for another stunned moment before shaking himself and laughing. Wow, Keith’s a good influence on him.

He turns back to the datapad with a raised eyebrow. Takashi wants him to wing it, huh? Fine, he can do that.

~*~

Veronica never thought she’d be this stressed out about a wedding that wasn’t a member of her family’s. But here she is, frantically running around trying to help her little brother prepare a bachelor party and a best man speech and various other aspects of wedding planning. God knows why Keith thought Lance was competent enough for this, but at least he’s freaking out because he wants everything to be perfect, not because of all the responsibility he suddenly has. Being a paladin has made him grow up.

Although, Allura might also have something to do with it. Losing someone you love, then getting them back a year later? Seems to be a proven method of making someone responsible. Keith and Lance are both good examples.

Veronica loves her brother’s girlfriend. She’s extremely smart and nice and doesn’t take any of Lance’s shit. She’s also totally involved in the wedding planning and prep and seems super excited for it. Allura’s been helping Lance out a lot with staying on track.

Veronica’s girlfriend, on the other hand, is no help whatsoever.

“Galra bonding ceremonies don’t require nearly this much preparation! It’s ridiculous! It’s so unnecessarily complicated!” Acxa whines whenever Veronica prompts her to help. But she inevitably does help. All of the Blade are assisting with anything they can. Something about pack bonds and needing to be helpful at times like this. Even Zethrid and Ezor are getting into it.

Veronica sighs fondly as she watches the trio of former generals attempt to put together the stage where the DJ is going to be set up. Attempt being the key word, but they are trying to be helpful. Everyone is pitching in for this wedding.

“The Wedding of the Black Paladins” is the name the media has given it. All coalition planets are excited for the day two of the people who restored peace to the universe finally tie the knot.

Veronica has to admit, she’s a bit excited herself. She hasn’t known the two grooms as long as most other wedding guests, but she respects Shiro as a captain, and even a friend. And she knows that he loves Keith more than anything in his life. She can also tell just by looking at the Black Paladin’s face that the feeling is mutual.

She shakes herself a little and gets back to work. Enough reverie. There’s still a lot to be done to make this wedding perfect. And after everything, those two deserve to have a perfect wedding.

~*~

Ryan is probably not as concerned about the upcoming wedding as maybe he should be. At least not for the reasons most people would expect. Sure, he’s part of Keith’s wedding party, which is really cool, but he’s not the best man like Lance is so he doesn’t have nearly as much to worry about.

Except for the fact that he’s filming the ceremony.

Keith didn’t ask him to do it, to be fair. He’d offered and Keith had accepted as long as one, he didn’t publish it without permission and a once-over from Keith (both fair terms), and two, as long as it didn’t cause Ryan too much trouble.

Ryan had assured the groom-to-be that it was no problem! He only needed the one camera and he’d be standing right near the alter. What could there be to stress about?

Apparently, quite a lot.

He’s fiddled with his camera settings probably a hundred times by now, scoured every inch of the wedding venue to find the best place to put the camera, and has had to fight off Nadia who wants to “enhance” the video the same way she’d tried to enhance their Atlas documentary. If she had her way, Keith would probably murder them both, and Ryan wouldn’t blame him.

He can’t screw this up. It’s kind of his wedding gift to them (which is why he offered) and he wants it to be perfect.

James is doing an equal amount of freaking out so he’s no help, and Ina’s too busy dealing with a freaked-out Pidge to be of any help either. And Nadia is still being annoying, so Ryan’s having his freak-out all on his own.

It’s fine. Really. It’s only his friend and his CO getting married in the biggest event in the universe. No big deal. None at all. It’s not like if he messes it up they’ll hate him. Probably. He’ll only hate himself and never be able to face either of them ever again!

Oh boy. Why did he offer to do this again?

But he did, so he grabs his camera and heads off to the venue to check angles one more time. He can’t mess this up. He has to get it perfect. And he will, for them.

~*~

James is maybe dying a little bit.

Somehow, he’s a groomsman in Keith Kogane’s wedding. Keith. Keith, who he’d gone to school with since they were twelve. Keith, who he bullied relentlessly because he was pissed he decided the rules didn’t apply to him. Keith who beat him to a bloody pulp on multiple occasions because of said bullying. Keith, who he’d been shocked to discover had become an adult when he came back to Earth and had been mildly sick at the thought of all the shit he’d been through as a paladin. Keith, who he’s now, somehow, friends with. That Keith.

What the fuck is his life.

If he went back and told his twelve-year-old self that one day he’d be such good friends with emo-kid Keith that he was invited to be a part of his wedding party, he probably would have punched himself.

But here he is, getting a tux fitted and angsting over the (very, very) small part he has to play in the ceremony. Namely, show up and stand where they tell him to. But. God, he just doesn’t want to do anything to mess it all up. He wonders if maybe he shouldn’t have accepted when Keith asked him. He should have let him ask someone who hadn’t been antagonistic towards him his whole life.

Keith had laughed when James had mentioned this to him. “Dude, my best man is Lance. _Lance_ , who for our first year in space managed to trigger me horribly on multiple occasions. People grow up, Griffin. We did, right? And our relationship did to. You are my friend, and I want you to be up there.”

Well, that’s that, then.

So James freaks, and he goes over the ceremony again and again, and he tries to keep his boyfriend calm when he starts freaking out about lighting and camera angles, and he hangs out with Keith at the bar when the Black Paladin is exhausted by all the wedding hype.

He supposes that if this is all he can do, then it’s good enough. He’ll never be able to go back and change what happened between them in the past, but he can make sure that, moving forward, he’s worthy of being one of Keith Kogane’s groomsmen.

~*~

Sam wonders if he really has any right to be worrying over Shiro’s wedding. He’s not the man’s father, he’s not related to the Shiroganes in any way. But still, he’s got a tight knot of anxiety in his stomach as the date grows ever closer and there’s still work to be done.

To be fair, he has known Shiro for a very long time. He remembers the day Shiro applied to the Garrison and blew all their previous flight sim records out of the water. He remembers watching Shiro and Matt become close and then he was having the pilot over to his house every other weekend for dinner.

He watched Shiro do everything in his power to beat his disease so he could join Sam and Matt for Kerberos. He watched him grow close to, and fall in love with, Keith (he doesn’t know who they thought they were fooling, they were obviously head over heels those few months before they’d left for Kerberos).

So maybe he does have some right to be worrying about making their wedding perfect. He cares about Shiro and Keith. He owes them both a lot for protecting his children and saving him. And speaking of his children, both of them are in the wedding party, so their freaking out plenty, so Sam thinks he’s extra allowed to freak out, on their behalf.

And his wife is working with the other Paladin Mothers on setting up everything for the wedding reception, so really, it would be a little odd if he was the only one not freaking out about it. But he is freaking out.

He’s doing his own set up, preparing all the tech that will be needed for the music and the lights and the sound system for the speeches. Slav is helping too, and for some reason he also seems to be freaking out. Sam swears he saw the Bytoran crying the other day. Though to be fair, it’s hard to tell with hm.

In any event, Sam Holt is plenty worried about Shiro’s wedding, as he should be. He cares about them both, and wants, just like everyone, to see them have a perfect wedding.

~*~

Slav is very smug. He knew it. He _knew_ he would see this day.

When he first met Shiro, he knew he was deeply devoted to another, and when he met Keith, well, anyone with _eyes_ should have been able to see that they would almost and actually die for one another and get married and end up living twice as long as others of their species and adopt four children. Seriously, how could anyone _miss_ all of that?

So when all of that did happen (well, most of it, some of it hasn’t happened yet but Slav knows it will), he was ecstatic. One would think knowing the outcome would make everything in life boring but seeing the fruits of his predictions is always a welcome sight, and it’s so rare that they’re as pleasant as this one!

He and Sam are perfecting the technology that will be needed for this Earth wedding, and Slav can’t stop crying. He hasn’t been able to stop crying since he heard Princess (now Queen) Allura came back and he knew with one hundred percent certainty (a very rare thing) that this reality really would be the one where they all got a happy ending.

Shiro and Keith’s wedding is only the beginning, and the happier it is, the better the rest of everyone’s happy endings will be, so he’s got to make it all perfect! No, _better_ than perfect!

Ah, he really, really loves this reality.

~*~

Matt is in a bit of a crisis. He’s his best friend’s best man which is awesome and he’s sharing all the duties with Shiro’s brother which is also cool and helpful but dear god he’s Shiro’s _best man_.

That’s a lot of shit. He has to make sure absolutely everything is perfect. The bachelor party, the best man speech, the ceremony, the reception, all of it has to be flawless for these two guys that have been head over heels for almost as long as Matt’s known them and who have been through so much.

It’s a little over a week until the wedding. There’s still so much shit to get done and for the most part Shiro and Keith are being kept out of the actual set up because everyone wants them to not have to worry about anything except each other (Matt knows they’ve totally been fucking, like, 24/7).

He loves these guys, okay? Shiro is his best friend, and Keith is also a very good friend, and they have gone through endless amounts of bullshit in order to finally get to this point and Matt just… really wants them to be able to enjoy it.

Planning essentially two bachelor parties in one is both fun and annoying, but he and Ryou and Lance have managed to figure out how to make it work (thank you, space wolf). Sure, they could just have one the day before the wedding and one the day before _that_ , but that would be admitting defeat, so they didn’t do that.

His best man’s speech is actually going fairly well. As one of the few people who knew Keith and Shiro before they started dating (and knew Shiro before he and Keith even met) he has more oversight than most on how they’ve changed each other’s lives.

So his two official best man duties are going fine. The unofficial ones like tending to wedding details and keeping the groom stress-free are going… less fine.

He has to corral Shiro away from stressing about the ceremony on a fairly regular basis, and then turns right around and stresses for him. Pidge is stressed too. And their parents. And the rest of the paladins. And _everyone_.

But it’ll be okay because when Matt goes to report on the progress to Shiro at the end of the day, he always finds him with his arms wrapped around Keith or vice versa.

So really, no matter what happens on the day of, he knows everything is going to work out just fine.

~*~

Allura has had a lot on her plate in the last six months. She’s actually fairly alright with it, considering she never thought she’d have to worry about much of anything again.

After she’d come home (and the paladins had released her) (not that she’d minded… or really been able to stand) there had been a lot of planning. The first order of business was to announce her return to her people and the rest of the coalition.

Then her coronation as queen happened. It’s still hard to believe she’s _queen_ of Altea. It’s almost harder for the paladins, who keep calling her princess by accident. The only things that really remind her of her elevated status are her silly boyfriend calling her “my queen”, and the crown that now rests on her brow.

It’s a bit more ornate than her old tiara, but not quite as elaborate as Coran had wanted. He’d wanted to go all out, of course, but the crown is exactly what she wanted. Seven diamond shaped gems in a row, the center one slightly larger and colored pink like her paladin armor, flanked on both sides by three of the smaller ones, colored black, red, green, blue, yellow, and orange.

Coran and Hunk had teared up a little when they’d seen it, and the rest of the paladins had also caught on to the significance of the colors. She told them it was an obvious choice. Their Voltron team is her family, and without them and their love for her, she might not have been here to be crowned in the first place.

After her coronation, she’d seen to some concerns on Altea, passing most of the duties off to Merla and Tavo, because she has something much, much more pressing to be dealing with.

Keith and Shiro are getting married, and Shiro has asked her to stand with him. She’d been a trifle upset at first over the idea that they’d postponed their ceremony because of her death, but now she’s grateful, because she’s going to be here for it. She gets to stand with her friend at his wedding after all, and she couldn’t be more excited.

Learning about human ceremonies has been fun, and the paladins’ mothers have been more than happy to tell her about them. She’s been doing whatever she can to help set up for the after-party (a “reception” Lance’s mother had called it)

It’s only a week away now, and Allura could not be more thrilled. She will be standing beside all the people she loves as they watch Keith and Shiro bind themselves together forever. She’s so very grateful that she’ll be here to see it, and vows not to waste a moment of the second chance she’s been given.

With that in mind, she ties up her hair (she’d cut it back to its normal length), rolls up her sleeves, and gets to work helping with the finishing touches at the wedding venue. There’s still a lot to be done, and she owes it to her friends to do everything she can to make their wedding perfect.

~*~

Hunk is dying. From both excitement and no small amount of stress.

He’s gonna see Shiro and Keith get married! That’s awesome! And he’s one of Keith’s groomsmen which is also awesome!

But he and his catering business are catering the wedding of the century and so yeah Hunk’s stressing out a little bit.

His family and Shay and Romelle and the rest of the catering staff are of course also running around getting the food ready for the big day, but they know on the day of, both Hunk and Romelle are not going to be available because they’re in the wedding party. So Hunk’s trying to get as much done as he possibly can.

He’s loving it, even though it’s stressful. He loves connecting people through food, and weddings are a great place to connect. And besides that, it’s the wedding of two people he loves. He wants their meal to be as memorable as the moment they say “I do” and their first dance. Hunk is personally making the wedding cake, as Keith had asked, and he’s still trying to perfect the recipe.

It’s only a week until the wedding, but there’s still so much to do. But Hunk is determined to get it all done and have everything be perfect. Keith and Shiro have both done so much for him, the least he can do is make sure their wedding reception has good food.

He tells Keith as much when he gets the groom-to-be to taste his latest adjustment to the cake recipe. He thinks he’s almost got it but needs input from the grooms to be sure. Shiro had adored it, but Keith has a pickier palate.

Keith finishes chewing his bite and swallows. “Hunk, you don’t need to stress so much. Everything you’ve ever cooked for us has been amazing.”

“But this time it can’t just be amazing.” Hunk tells him. “It has to be _perfect_.”

Keith laughs a little. “It will be, because we asked you to make it, and you are.”

Hunk has to hug Keith after that.

“So how was the cake?” he asks when he pulls away.

“It was really good.” Keith affirms. “But still a little too sweet for me. I don’t really know how you’d fix it though, because Shiro loves it, he told me. If there was a way you could make it, I don’t know, a little bitter, without making it less sweet?”

Hunk tilts his head, considering, then smiles. “I think I can do that.”

~*~

Pidge is having a meltdown. Everything seems to be set up and ready for the big day, but that’s not why she’s panicking.

She’s one of Keith’s groomspeoples (thanks for that nifty name, Lance) and she has absolutely no idea what to wear.

Ina, as delightful as she is, is not very good when it comes to helping her girlfriend pick out clothes. Nadia is better at the clothes, but Pidge isn’t sure she trusts the other pilot’s choices for her.

She doesn’t really want to wear a dress. She hates dresses with a burning passion. She only ever wore them when she could wear jeans or leggings or something underneath, but you can’t really do that at a formal event, right?

So does she wear, like, a tux, like the rest of Keith’s groomsmen are wearing? She likes bowties and suit jackets, but isn’t sure that would be appropriate.

She spends most of the month leading up to the wedding trying to figure out her outfit, that, and setting up a fuckton of electronics for the reception. But that’s the easy part. She knows electronics. She doesn’t know shit about clothes.

“Pidge?”

Pidge turns around to see Shiro walking into her room. She raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be off somewhere making goo-goo eyes at Keith?”

“Leifsdottir called me, said you needed help.” Shiro says, brow pinched in concern.

“Ugh, dammit Ina.”

“She was worried, said you’ve been stressing out over something I might be able to help with?”

Pidge sighs and sits on the edge of her bed. She haltingly explains to Shiro about her indecision about what she should wear to the wedding.

“I know it’s a stupid concern.” She mutters.

“You’re done with all the things you need to be doing.” Shiro says gently, sitting next to her. “And you’re feeling the stress from everyone else who’s still working on things, and you feel useless, so you’re looking for something to stress out about.”

Pidge opens her mouth to protest, then closes it slowly. “Yeah, probably.”

“What about this,” Shiro laughs, “what do you _want_ to wear to the wedding?”

“I want to wear something nice.”

“Then figure out what you think looks nice and wear it.” Shiro shrugs. “Katie, neither Keith or I care what you wear. We want you there regardless. So wear what you want. And stop stressing out over nothing.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

~*~

Lance is elated and terrified and really, really needs a nap.

He’s Keith’s best man which is awesome and cool and all, but boy, he had no idea being a best man would be so stressful.

His sister and Allura are both helping him which is nice, but there are some things he has to do himself. Namely, write a kickass speech. He wants to write a speech that’ll blow Matt’s and Ryou’s right out of the water.

He’s been working on it since Keith told him he was his best man and he’s gonna _own_ the speeches. He’s got this. His is the best speech to ever be speech-ed.

And the bachelor party? Pfft, piece of cake. He and Matt and Ryou puzzled that out weeks ago.

No all he has to do is sit back and wait for the day to come. The day one of his best friends in the entire universe gets married to the love of his life.

Oh god Keith and Shiro are getting married.

After everything the two of them have been through… the loss and the torture and the fighting and the death and the destruction and the _angst_ … they’re finally going to get a happy ending. They’re gonna get married and be together forever and no one is ever gonna get between them ever again or Keith would kill the universe and, and…

Oh he’s crying now. Cool.

Goddammit, if he’s crying just _thinking_ about the wedding, he’s gonna be a gross sobbing mess the day of. Not cool. He’s supposed to stand next to Keith and smile and encourage and clap and wolf-whistle (because of course he’s going to wolf-whistle, it’s him) and _not_ be sobbing his eyes out and need to borrow half the horde of tissues Hunk’s planning to bring because god knows the Yellow Paladin’s gonna be a wreck.

But not him. He’s not gonna cry. He will practice thinking about the ceremony and the words and the vows that Keith and Shiro are writing themselves and haven’t let anyone hear and the rings that they won’t let anyone see and oh god he’s crying just imagining the sappy, heartfelt words and the probably utterly gorgeous rings.

Fuck. Okay. So one of Lance’s best friends is getting married in a fairy tale wedding in the biggest “fuck you, universe” happily ever after ever, and Lance is gonna cry like a little bitch the whole time and Keith is literally never going to let him live it down.

Lance sighs and looks down at the speech he’s written. Okay, yeah, Keith’s going to tease him forever, but as long as he still considers his wedding to be perfect despite the gross sobbing from his side of the alter… he figures he’ll find a way to live with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's freaking out except for the grooms, who are too busy with each other to worry much. Next chapter is *drumroll* THE WEDDING!!!!!!!!!  
> See you next week, ya'll!
> 
> I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?  
> Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling, oh!  
> Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.  
> Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.  
> Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.  
> Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.  
> We're screaming out, I believe we'll be okay.  
> \- Be Okay, Oh Honey


	49. Lights Down Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So explanation time: My week has been weird. I had one job interview, then I had to take care of a friend who had eye surgery and couldn't be home alone, and I have another job interview tomorrow ridiculously early in the morning. I could have posted yesterday when I got home, but I was not happy with what I had. I felt like it was rushed because of my hectic week, so I've spent today re-writing a lot of it and adding in some bits from Shiro's perspective (because he deserves a say on his own wedding, yes?) and I feel a lot better with how the chapter is now. Could it still be better? Probably, but I like where it's at and I don't want to delay you guys anymore than I already have.  
> So, without further ado: The Wedding of the Black Paladins, which pushes this fic over 200k!

“No.” Keith deadpans, crossing his arms. “Absolutely not. No way in hell.”

“Keith,” Allura tries to soothe, placing a hand on his crossed arms. “Think how much it would mean to them. After all the terrible things that have happened, it would be a huge boost to morale all across the coalition to see two of the people who saved them get their happy ending.”

“Then you can live-stream _your_ wedding.” Keith mutters. “I am not letting any stupid cameramen broadcast my goddamn wedding to the masses.”

“To be fair, it’s not uncommon on Earth for celebrities to broadcast their weddings.” Shiro points out hesitantly.

Keith levels his fiancé with an incredulous look. “So, _you_ want there to be a dozen random cameramen recording the most important day of our lives when we’re already going to be emotional wrecks?”

“Well, no.” Shiro mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He turns back to Allura. “I get where you’re coming from, Allura, but it’s not gonna happen. The only camera I will allow in that tent is Ryan’s. I may, _may_ give permission for his footage to be broadcast after the fact, but only after I go over it and okay everything in it.”

Allura sighs, but she’s smiling. “I don’t know why I even tried. You’re the most stubborn person in the universe.”

“Damn straight I am.” Keith mutters.

“Well, would you consider a compromise?”

Keith narrows his eyes. “What kind of compromise?”

“Would you let in a couple cameras during part of the reception?”

Keith considers this. “How many and for how long?”

“Three at most, and for two hours.” Allura offers.

Keith hums and looks at Shiro. “Takashi?”

“I’d be okay with that.” Shiro shrugs. “Depending on when they come in.”

Keith turns back to Allura. “If we can decide which two hours they come, you have a deal.”

Allura beams and claps her hands together. “Excellent! I will inform the media.”

She stands and swishes off. Keith had forgotten how she looked in dresses, but she wears them a lot more now that she’s queen. She still wears the Garrison Paladin uniform when she’s on Earth or in meetings pertaining to Voltron, and of course still wears her armor when she’s piloting Blue, but it’s mostly a lot of dresses.

Keith groans and leans against Shiro. “How long until the wedding again?” He mutters.

Shiro hums and wraps an arm around him. “Three days.”

“Ugh, that long?”

“Something tells me you’re more looking forward to our three-week honeymoon than the actual wedding.” Shiro teases.

“I mean, yeah, that’s gonna be awesome and I’m hardly letting you leave the bed at all, but, I’m looking forward to the wedding too.” He turns his head a little to press a kiss to Shiro’s neck. “I’m looking forward to being able to call you my husband.”

Shiro hums and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “I know exactly what you mean.”

~*~

“Okay, I conceded to the request for cameras very begrudgingly-”

“After negotiating me down by a lot,” Allura huffs.

“-but this, this is insane.” Keith finishes.

“It’s one of your American wedding traditions!” Allura protests.

“Yeah, one almost no one has used in a century. It’s like ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’! some people kinda do it but no one really pays attention to it anymore!” Keith grumbles. “Besides, the tradition says that the groom can’t see the _bride_ before the wedding. And in case you haven’t noticed, neither Shiro or I are ‘brides’.”

“But it seems like such a sweet concept!” Romelle tells him. Both Altean women are somehow totally into this idea. “Making you wait to see the one you love until it’s time to say your vows! It’s so romantic!”

“It’s annoying is what it is.” Keith growls. “And we’re still not brides!”

Allura tilts her head a little. “Well, doesn’t the bride wear a dress and walk down the aisle?”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Traditionally, yes.”

“Isn’t Shiro wearing a long, flowing robe and walking down the aisle?”

“I, well, yes.”

“So doesn’t that make Shiro the bride?”

Keith tries to hold it in, but then the image of his huge, muscle-bound fiancé wearing a delicate dress and a veil pop into his head and he starts laughing. God, Shiro’d probably tear a wedding dress in half without meaning to.

“That’s not how that works,” Keith snickers when he sees Allura and Romelle’s shocked faces. “A bride is female, a groom is male, but, fuck it, I’ll agree to the stupid tradition, just for the image you just gave me.”

Shiro is surprisingly hesitant.

“But what if you have a nightmare?” He says when Keith tells him what the queen and Romelle talked him into. “If we’re going to be sleeping in different rooms-”

“Takashi,” Keith says gently, taking his fiancé’s shoulders, “it has been a very long time since I’ve had a really bad nightmare. And I doubt I’ll be having nightmares of any kind the night before I finally marry you, okay?”

Shiro sighs. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Only two days left.

~*~

The day before their wedding, Keith and Shiro are woken absurdly early by their Best Men.

“Up and at ‘em, lazy bums! Your exile from each other starts now, queen’s orders!” Lance crows.

“Can I stab him?” Keith growls, tugging the sheets over his head.

“I think that’s discouraged, stabbing one of the best men the day before the wedding.” Shiro huffs. “Maybe just punching them in the face?”

“I’m totally telling Ka-san you want to punch me.” Ryou says.

“Ryou, I think today of all days, she’d let it slide.”

“Fair enough. Now up!”

Matt, tired of all the banter, rips their sheets off their bed.

“Okay you two! Today is your totally awesome, mega excellent, double bachelor party bash!” He coos. “Ryou, Lance and I have been planning it to a T, and are very proud of our efforts, so you’re gonna let us spoil you with food and activities and excellent company.”

“How can it be a double bachelor party if we aren’t allowed to see each other?” Shiro yawns, sitting up and running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair.

“We’re gonna be with you guys in shifts!” Lance says, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Keith sighs and finally sits up.

“What?”

“Yeah! From now until noon, I and the rest of the Keith Groomspeople Squad will be hanging out with Shiro, and these two and the rest of the Shiro Groomspeople Squad will entertain you! At noon we’ll get your cosmic doggo to switch us and then we’ll hand out with our respective grooms for the rest of the day and evening!”

Keith can already tell, this is going to be a long-ass day.

~*~

Shiro’s actually enjoying his morning, all things considered. Even though it was a fairly rude awakening and he won’t be able to see Keith until the ceremony, he’s enjoying getting to spend time with the other paladins and the MFEs.

“So, Shiro, you getting cold feet yet?” Lance teases as they’re sitting around the guest room that will be Shiro’s for the evening. He insisted Keith get to stay in their own quarters.

“Not even remotely.” Shiro deadpans and takes another sip of the beer in his hand. He knows they’re hoping to get him drunk so his wedding party will have to deal with him, but he never did drink much anyway. It’s not hard to stay sober.

“But you are nervous, aren’t you?” Hunk asks quietly.

“Yeah, I mean, after all the crazy shit you and Keith have been through, it’s all finally happening. That can’t not be making you a nervous giggly wreck.” Pidge adds.

“Of course I’m nervous, and excited.” He sighs. “I want everything to go smoothly and I want to be able to finally call Keith my husband. It’s… it’s been a lot of waiting.”

“We know, man.” Lance says quietly.

“Damn, after all the crap Keith’s told us about, it’s a wonder you’re not worried about hostile aliens invading during the reception and taking everyone hostage.” James huffs.

Shiro snorts. “The thought crossed my mind once or twice, yeah.”

“But it doesn’t seem to be concerning you anymore?” Kinkade wonders.

Shiro smirks. “I know that, in the event that a hostile species did try to crash our wedding, Keith would rip them all to shreds.”

A pause from everyone, then various iterations of “fair enough” are mumbled. Shiro just laughs.

When the trade-off of wedding parties happened in the evening, Mio and Miki tackle him and tell him how much they like Keith.

“He’s really great, Nii-san.” Mio tells him quietly.

“Yeah, we approve.” Miki adds.

“What, and you didn’t before?” Shiro asks, amused.

“We did, but now we’ve actually spent time with him, without you.” Ryou says. “He’s a quiet guy, but really cool. Can’t wait to get to know him more.”

Matt slings an arm across his shoulders and grins lopsidedly. “He’s all squirmy and impatient for tomorrow. I think if he could speed up time, you two would already have tied the knot.”

Shiro rolls his eyes. “He’s never had too much patience to begin with.”

“But he does take your words to heart.” Allura says, smiling. “What is it again? Patience yields focus?”

Shiro smiles. “Yeah.”

“Oh, and he wants me to tell you he loves you, and he’ll see you soon.”

Soon. They’re getting married soon. God, Shiro’s impatient too. Even as he has a wonderful evening playing M&M with his friends and siblings, when he lays down that night, he can’t stop his thoughts from racing. Is Keith laying awake in their bed, too keyed up and excited to sleep, just like he is? Probably.

He wishes he were with his fiancé. He knows if they were together, curled around each other as usual, they’d fall asleep in a heartbeat. But one night won’t kill them, even if all he wants in this moment is to feel Keith’s warmth pressed against his side.

~*~

Hanging out with Matt and Allura for the morning is all well and good, but Keith doesn’t know what to do with Shiro’s siblings. Of course he _knows_ them, and has spent a lot of time with them since they saved the universe and all, but still, it’s a little awkward, at first.

Then Shiro’s sisters decide “screw it” and start bombarding him with questions about his and Shiro’s relationship to date. It gets slightly easier after that. It’s always easy for him to talk about Shiro.

His morning passes rather well, even with the Shirogane sibling bombardment. Allura and Matt are of course always great to be around (even if Matt does spend the whole morning combining wedding jokes and inuendo). Come noon, the wolf pops into the room and whines.

“Welp, that’s our cue.” Matt tells him, clapping him on the shoulder. “Lance and your other groomspeople will be here in a sec. Try not to run off, would ya?”

Keith lifts an eyebrow. “Why would I run off?”

Matt shrugs. “I remember your Garrison days, dude. You hated social interaction.”

“I still do.” Keith mutters. “But you guys are different. You’re my friends.”

Matt grins at that and leans down to hug him. “See you tomorrow, Keith.”

“Yeah.”

Allura shoos Matt out of the way so she can receive a hug of her own. “Is there anything you want me to tell Shiro?” She asks when she pulls away.

Keith shrugs a shoulder. “Just that, I love him. And I’ll see him soon.”

Allura smiles and bends down to kiss the top of his head. “I’ll pass the word along.”

The five of them walk over to the wolf and place their hands on him, and in a second, they’re gone.

Keith sighs and leans back against the couch. They must have had the switch go this way on purpose so Keith could have a few minutes to himself, which he appreciates. He gets up and stretches and walks over to the window.

The devastation from the Galra invasion is still evident everywhere on Earth, but it’s gradually being cleared away. When they’re out in the desert tomorrow, they won’t be able to see any of it. they’d debated for a long time where to actually have the wedding and reception, and it had actually been Shiro who suggested they be out near the shack for the ceremony.

“It’s where we took every other major step in our relationship,” he’d said. “It makes sense that we’d take the next step there too.”

Keith knows that right now, there’s a gigantic tent set up behind the shack, and the alter is set up under That One Tree. Shiro is nothing of not sentimental, and Keith… really can’t blame him. He’s right. That’s where everything else happened, might as well get married out there too.

Their reception is going to be, strangely, in the newly reconstructed Castle of Lions. Is it going to be a nightmare to transport all the wedding guests to a whole separate planet for the reception? Probably. But Allura can pilot the Atlas through the wormhole and all he guests can easily fit on the Atlas, so it should be fine.

He sighs and leans against the wall. He wishes the others would hurry up and get here. He’s getting jittery. He wants tomorrow to just hurry up and get here and knows the other paladins and the MFEs will do a good job at taking his mind off how impatient he is.

A moment later, he gets his wish, and the wolf pops back into the room with his friends in tow.

“Hellllo Keith!” Lance crows. “Are you ready for a bachelor party extravaganza!?”

Keith raises an eyebrow.

“…Good!”

“We promise he didn’t hire strippers.” Pidge tells him. “Or anything of the sort.”

“Thank god, I’d hate to have to kill my best man.”

“I would never!” Lance gasps. “I know you’re a one-man kind of man!”

“Also, Shiro would have ripped you in half.” Hunk adds helpfully. “And Keith would have cut those halves in half.”

“Why am I friends with you.” Keith sighs.

Despite Lance’s eccentricities, he actually plans a nice bachelor party.

“Our plan is simple.” Lance tells him. “We’re ordering pizza for dinner, and we’re gonna play a short campaign of Monsters and Mana. Matt’s running one for Shiro’s party, then at some point after you guys get back from your honeymoon, we’re gonna combine the campaigns with Coran as DM again!”

Keith is intrigued. Shiro had told him about the Monsters and Mana campaign they’d done and he’d thought it sounded kind of cool, but…

“Is a campaign that large really… doable?”

“Coran said he’d like the challenge.” Lance shrugs. “and if he needs to, he said he’d break it into two separate campaigns that joined up every once in a while.”

After that, the night goes really well. They order pizza and play their game with Pidge as the DM (“I can resurrect Melkor for the joint campaign” she’d assured). It’s really laid-back and easily takes his mind off things, which is exactly what he needed.

It turns out that James and Ryan love M&M and say they should also get Rizavi and Leifsdottir in on it. Keith thinks their giant campaign will be a good way to make sure they all stay in touch.

After they’re done, though, his friends bid him goodnight. He gets a hug from each of them, ending with Lance who whispers “See you in the morning, buddy. Try to actually sleep, okay?”

Lance knows him well. After they leave, Keith changes into his sleep pants and curls up in the bed. And can’t even try to close his eyes. They keep sliding over to the tux hanging on the closet door.

Fuck, he’s getting married tomorrow. To the man he loves more than anything in the universe. And he can’t even be with Shiro right now. God, he doesn’t know if he’d be able to sleep even if he _was_ with Shiro, but maybe he’d be able to settle down and at least close his eyes.

As it is, he’s been staring at the ceiling (and his tux) for the better part of an hour by the time he hears a tapping on the window.

Instantly wary, he creeps over to the window with his Marmora blade in hand and twitches the curtain back a bit, startled by what greets him.

He laughs a little. “Goddammit, Shiro, you gave me a heart attack.”

Floating outside his window is Shiro’s metal arm. It taps again and Keith realizes Shiro has no idea he’s standing there so he opens up the window and grabs the hand.

Shiro’s fingers instantly curl around his palm and squeeze gently and Keith sighs. “Leave it to you to find a work-around.” He murmurs fondly.

He closes the window and pulls the arm with him back to the bed where he curls up under the sheets, Shiro’s hand still clutching his own.

“Goodnight, Shiro.” He whispers and presses a kiss to his fiancé’s metal fingers. Shiro squeezes his hand a little, and Keith finally relaxes. He’s asleep in minutes.

~*~

A knock on the door wakes him in the morning. He yawns and shifts before feeling something in his hand. He looks and sees Shiro’s arm, fingers still curled around his palm, and smiles. He squeezes it gently and gets a very slow one back. Shiro’s either asleep still, or just starting to rouse.

The door to Keith’s room squeaks open and Krolia pokes her head in. “Time to get up, firecracker. Big day today.”

“Mm,” Keith hums and sits up as his mother pushes the door open wider and steps into the room. She raises an eyebrow when she sees Shiro’s arm and she laughs quietly.

“Leave it to him to find a way to be with you.” She says, smile fond.

Keith grins. “It’s a good loophole.” He leans down and kisses the back of Shiro’s hand and then releases it. Shiro’s arm float up and cups his cheek briefly before floating out the door to reunite with the rest of him.

Krolia shakes her head and walks over to pull the covers back. “Come on, Keith. Get dressed.”

Keith gets up and takes his tux to the bathroom, changing into it quickly. When he comes out, Lance has joined his mother in the room in his own tux. He’s fiddling with his blue bow-tie and looking very pensive.

“You look more nervous than I do.” Keith teases, and Lance’s head whips around. “Well yeah! I’m your best man and your best friend and I want everything to go well on your wedding day!”

“Everything’s going to be fine.” Keith tells him.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

“Probably.”

Keith is then hustled out of his room and into a car that will take him to the shack where he’ll finish getting ready. When he arrives, the rest of his groomspeople swarm him. They’re all dressed and ready to go and Keith eyes Pidge curiously. Shiro had told him she’d been conflicted about what to wear, but he thinks she looks great. She’s wearing a black skirt and leggings with a suit jacket over a white blouse.

“You look great, Pidge. I especially love the green bowtie.” He tells her, and the grin she gives him is so worth it.

Then he is unceremoniously shoved into a chair while Lance does his hair. Hunk gives him a quick breakfast so he doesn’t get faint and to distract him from what’s going on with his hair. He’s a little nervous, but Veronica, Rachel, and even Allura had attested to Lance’s hairstyling prowess so he’s decided to trust his best friend.

“Okay, Keith. Take a look.” Lance says several minutes later.

Keith takes a deep breath and turns to look in the mirror. He raises an eyebrow. “Wow.”

Lance has his hair pulled back into a bun with some sort of lacy red flower wrapped around the hair tie. A lock of hair is still hanging in his face, but it looks purposeful and not like it’s just being stubborn.

“Well?” Lance prods. “What do you think?”

“I think I look great.” He tells Lance. He looks up at his best friend and smiles. “Thanks, man.”

Lance beams.

“Okay, Keith,” Ryan says, “I’m gonna go set up the camera.”

He slips out the door and James comes over to squeeze his shoulder. “It’s almost time for us to head out. You ready?”

Keith takes a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

~*~

Shiro is shaking, he’s so nervous. It’s hard to pull on his kimono.

“Relax, Takashi.” Ryou tells him as he helps him straighten his collar. “Everything’s gonna go great.”

“I know.” Shiro sighs. “I’m just antsy.”

“You’re gonna be fine. You know Keith’s a wreck too; doesn’t that make you feel better?” Matt asks.

“A little?” Shiro mutters. “Mostly it makes me want to be with him.”

“You will be soon.” Allura soothes. She looks fantastic in a pale pink mermaid tail dress.

He sighs and fidgets while his mother bustles around doing his hair.

“Ka-san,” Ryou laughs, “It looks fine. We’ve gotta get him out to the shack now.”

“I know, I know, but it’s not every day your eldest gets married.” Sachiko huffs.

“I love you too, Ka-san.”

Soon, Shiro’s being hustled out to the shack. He knows that Keith is standing only a few feet away on the alter where they’re going to say their vows.

“Oh my god, I’m getting married.” He blurts.

Matt laughs. “Yeah, man, you are. In like, fifteen minutes.”

“Oh my god.”

Ryou raises an eyebrow. “You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

Shiro pauses for a moment, then turns to his brother and grins, “Not by a long shot.”

“You look amazing and so, so happy, Shiro.” Allura tells him.

“I am.”

“Well good,” Matt says, glancing at the clock, “because it’s time to get out there.”

~*~

Keith is not shaking. He’s not. Those tremors are just, nerves. Yes. Wait, that’s still shaking. Dammit.

The music has started and Shiro’s groomspeople are filing out and soon, Shiro will be walking down the aisle and then, they’ll be married.

Okay, he’s shaking. A lot.

Lance, who’s standing right next to him, gives him an encouraging nod and a subtle thumbs-up, and Coran, who’s standing behind him, reaches out to squeeze his shoulder.

Shiro’s sisters finish taking their places, and the music changes. Keith holds his breath as the tent flaps part once more, and Shiro steps out.

Holy shit.

It feels like it’s been ages since he last saw his fiancé, and god is he a sight for sore eyes. He looks amazing and he’s going to have to find Daichi later and tell him how great the kimono looks on his son. It’s black and red and white, all of their colors, and absolutely beautiful. Shiro’s eyes meet his as soon as he walks into the room and a smile brighter than the sun greets him, tears already shining in the corners of those storm-gray eyes.

God, Keith’s a lucky son of a bitch.

Shiro tries to walk slowly, Keith can tell, but he’s a little too excited and reaches the alter before the music is finished. Keith doesn’t care, just reaches out for Shiro’s hand.

Shiro’s fingers lace with his own and they both squeeze, and Keith can feel himself relax. Shiro is with him. That’s all that really matters.

The music finishes a moment later and everyone who’d stood when Shiro walked in resumes their seats. Keith and Shiro turn to Coran when the older Altean clears his throat.

“Allies, companions, friends, and family,” he begins, “no matter your relationship to the two men standing before us, we are all here for the same reason; to see these two astounding paladins finally tie their lives together in the most binding of ways.”

Shiro squeezes his hand tighter, and Keith swallows down a lump in his throat. He can’t cry yet, dammit, it’s too soon.

“When Keith and Shiro asked me to conduct the ceremony, I was honored. I wanted to do all their traditions justice, but I found that I was overcomplicating things.” Coran continues. “We don’t need to stand on ceremony for this, not when these two have already gone through so much to get here. All they really need from me is to guide them along, and I am proud to do so. There need not be any ceremonial words, or reverent speeches, or religious practices. All these two need is to finally say the words they came here to say. And with that, Shiro, if you will.”

Coran sweeps a hand towards Shiro, who swallows thickly.

“Keith,” he says, voice wavering on the tears that are now streaming down his face, but the words that come next are strong, and they take Keith’s breath away.

“I’ve told you this so many times I’ve lost count, but I will say them again. I’ll say them over and over, for the rest of our lives, because they will never stop being true: I love you more than anything. More than life. I know we’ve both been through our own personal hells to be standing here, so from here on out, I will make sure you are never alone, or afraid, or in pain, ever again. I will _never_ leave you again. I will be right here, loving you with my entire being, for the rest of our lives.”

He turns and holds a hand out to Romelle, who beams and fishes out a ring. It’s matte black metal, and Keith knows without looking the words etched in silver on the inside: _Patience Yields Focus._

Shiro takes Keith’s left hand gently. “Keith Kogane, do you take me as your husband?”

Keith breathes out a shaky sigh. “I do.” The words feel weighty on his tongue, but it’s a good weight, and so is the cool metal as Shiro slides the ring onto his finger.

Now it’s his turn. He takes another deep breath.

“You know I’m, not the best with words.” He starts, and Shiro smiles. “I’m more of a man of action, but I think my actions speak volumes about how I feel about you. I never trusted anyone before I met you. I never let myself be vulnerable around anyone before you. And all the people I’m able trust now? It’s only because you showed me that I could. That people _could_ be trusted. I let you in when I kept the rest of the world out. I’ve crossed the universe to find you and I’ve saved you over and over again, because I cannot bear the thought of losing you a third time. And now, I know I won’t, because, I’ll be right here with you. Nothing is ever going to separate us, ever again.”

He too reaches out for Romelle who passes him a slightly larger ring with a different, but no less familiar, silver inscription: _As Many Times as it Takes._

“Takashi Shirogane,” he says softly, taking Shiro’s flesh hand, “do you take me as your husband?”

“I do.” Shiro’s voice isn’t shaking now, it’s as calm and steady as always.

Keith swallows hard and slides the ring onto Shiro’s finger. Oh, there are his own tears.

He hears a sob behind him and knows at least Hunk and Lance are bawling.

They turn back to Coran, who’s looking a little weepy himself.

“I am honored,” the older Altean says in a gentle voice, “to pronounce you two not only as husbands, but as life partners, recognized as such on all coalition planets.” He reaches up and wipes away a tear, smiling brightly. “You may kiss the groom.”

Keith surges forwards just as Shiro pulls him close, and their lips meet. It’s never been fireworks when he kisses Shiro, just a warm contentment settling through his whole body. This time, there are fireworks, and Keith is dizzy with it, almost deaf to the loud cheers and that one familiar wolf-whistle that fill the room.

Shiro pulls away and Keith reluctantly lets him. They turn to see the whole tent in an uproar, everyone on their feet and still cheering and clapping. A lot of people are crying, even people Keith didn’t expect, like Iverson and Kolivan and Slav.

Keith turns his head to see that, yes, Hunk and Lance are both blubbering messes who are clinging to each other. Pidge is a little teary and surprisingly so is Ryan. James has joined the Red and Yellow Paladins in their loud sobbing.

On the other side, Shiro’s sisters are dry-eyed but their cheering is among the loudest. Allura is crying a lot quieter than anyone else and looks good doing it, and Ryou is trying to muffle his sniffling. Matt is almost more of a mess than Lance and Hunk. Keith is not too surprised.

Shiro’s hand squeezes his own and when Keith looks, his husband – his _husband_ – is grinning like a fool. Keith can’t hold it in anymore and bursts out laughing.

They’re married.

“Come on,” he tells Shiro, breathless and still giggling. “Let’s get out of here.”

He grips Shiro’s hand tighter and they run back down the aisle, pelted by what must be rice but Keith doesn’t stop to look. He gets out of the tent to see the Black Lion waiting for them. She roars, louder than Keith’s ever heard her.

_My cubs, my precious cubs. I’m so proud._

The words echo fondly in his head, and by the smile on Shiro’s face, he heard her too.

She crouches and opens her mouth and they run up into the cockpit, still giggling helplessly. That is until Keith shoves Shiro into the pilot’s seat and straddles his lap, kissing the laughter right off his lips.

Shiro gasps and wraps his arms around him, tight like he never wants to let go. Keith is totally okay with that.

“We’re married,” Shiro breathes, still pressed close enough for Keith to feel his lips move.

“We are.” Keith hums back.”

Shiro laughs again. “You’re my husband.”

Keith pulls away only to nuzzle into Shiro’s neck. “And you’re mine.”

Another, almost hysterical laugh. “Holy shit, Keith.”

“Yeah.”

“We,” He can feel Shiro swallow, can feel his hands tighten around his waist. “We need to get moving. We need to get to Altea.”

“It’ll take a few minutes for everyone to get loaded into the Atlas.” Keith murmurs, kissing Shiro’s throat softly and relishing his hitched breath.

“Keith,” Shiro warns, “We don’t have time for that.”

“I know.” Keith murmurs, arms tightening around Shiro’s shoulders. “Just, hold me. For a little while longer.”

Shiro hums gently and nuzzles Keith’s hair as his arms curl more securely around him.

“Baby,” he breathes, “I’ll hold you for the rest of our lives.”

Keith can live with that.

~*~

The camera crew is already there when the Black Lion and the Atlas arrive, but Keith barely notices. That had been the whole point of having them come at the beginning of the reception, because Keith and Shiro would be far too busy greeting guests and eating to pay attention.

They receive congratulations and well-wishes from everyone, as well as quite a few hugs. A lot of people are still crying. Slav crying is… well, it’s a sight to behold, that’s for sure. And even the guests that aren’t crying have red eyes. His mother included.

The whole time, Shiro won’t let go of his hand. He’s more than okay with that, and no one brings it up. Ah, the perks of a wedding day.

Ryan then pulls them and the rest of the wedding party out to take pictures. They take ones with each other, ones with their wedding parties, ones with their families, and Keith can’t remember ever having his picture taken, but if he had, he’s relatively sure he hadn’t been smiling in them, not like he is now.

Ryan lets them look over all the pictures and makes sure they don’t want any more or any reshoots. Keith loves them all. The group shot of both wedding parties, the picture of him and his mom (and Kolivan), the picture of him and Lance, and his absolute favorite is the one where Shiro’s hugging him from behind, their fingers locked together over his ribs, rings right next to each other.

Shiro’s tearing up again, and he might be too, but fuck it, it’s their wedding day and they can cry if they want to.

By the time they settle down to eat dinner, everyone’s famished. Hunk’s team rolls out a veritable _feast_ of all their favorite foods. Keith has never felt so good as he does now, eating Hunk and company’s delicious cooking with Shiro on one side and Lance on the other.

During the meal, he sees Allura stand and usher the camera crew out of the room and he breathes a sigh of relief. It hadn’t even seemed like two hours, and that’s a godsend.

After the meal, it’s time for speeches.

“Okay,” Ryou says after someone hands him the mic, “I drew the shortest straw, so I have to go first.” He sighs dramatically, which draws a laugh from the guests. “Normally, a Best Man speech is something you put a lot of thought and effort and time into, but, I have it on good authority that I should just do what I do best and ‘wing it’,” he throws a pointed glance at Shiro, “so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

Ryou walks around the table and starts pacing in front of it. “So, I’ve known Takashi my whole life. He was born before me and he’s my twin, so for most of our childhood, we were in each other’s business _all_ the time. And we were cool with that. Our personalities balanced each other out; I was the crazy, energetic one, and he was the calm, collected one. That hasn’t changed at all since then, but we still complement each other, so whatever.”

He turns to look at Shiro, and his eyes soften. “Then, he died. And, I didn’t know what to do. He’d always been there for me, to get me out of trouble, and then he was gone, just like that. I was… I was lost.”

Keith feels Shiro’s hand tighten around his own.

“But then,” Ryou continues, straightening, “Then he came back. _Keith_ brought him back, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It was obvious to all of us when we met Keith the first time that he meant a lot to Takashi, but it wasn’t until they came back to Earth that we looked at him and realized ‘this is it, this is the guy he’s going to marry’. We all saw how much they’d gone through for each other, and how much they love each other. Though to be honest, anyone with eyes can see that.”

Another round of laughter from the crowd.

“The more time I’ve spent with Keith, the more I realize that he’s all my brother could ever want or need. I have every confidence that my family is leaving Takashi in good hands with this one, and we could not be happier to call him part of our family.” Ryou lifts the glass of champagne in his hand. “So here’s to you and your new husband, Takashi.”

Shiro nods and mouths a “thank you” to his brother, and everyone takes a sip of their champagne as Ryou sits back down. Then Lance gets up and walks out into the room.

“Okay,” Lance says, taking a deep breath. “So, some of you may know this, some of you may not, but when Keith and I met, like _really_ met, we did not get along at all.”

Keith snorts.

“Okay, yeah, even that’s an understatement.” Lance amends. “It was really rough, those first, what, six months, in the castle? I did a lot of screwing up, and I acknowledge that. But since then, I can comfortably say that Keith Kogane is one of my very best friends in the entire universe. There’s no one else I’d rather have leading me into battle. No offense, Shiro.”

That gets a huge laugh out of everyone.

“That being said,” Lance continues when the room quiets down again, “I have never known a Keith Kogane who did not love Takashi Shirogane. I never saw that quiet, angry boy who hated the world and everyone in it, and I’m thankful. I don’t know if I’d be able to handle that kind of Keith. Shiro brings out the best in Keith. Really, they bring out the best in each other. And I may not have seen how they began, but I definitely saw what happens when they’re without each other. Trust me, it’s… not pretty.”

Lance sighs and looks between Keith and Shiro. “The truth of it is, you two need each other. You’ve always needed each other. You make each other not only stronger, but _whole_ in a way I know you aren’t when you’re apart. I have never seen a Keith who didn’t love Shiro, and that’s the way it should be, because you guys are who you’re meant to be, when you’re together.”

Lance raises his glass. “I love you both a lot, and I can’t wait to see what’s next for you. Cheers.”

Lance takes his seat again and laughs when Keith pulls him into a sideways hug.

“Love you too, McClain.” Keith murmurs.

“I know, buddy, I know.”

Then Matt comes around in front of the table. “I am in a very interesting position.” He announces when he picks up the mic. “I am probably the only person who saw these two idiots fall in love as it was happening. I saw them go from total strangers, to close friends, to pining idiots, to lovestruck newly-dating nerds. And it was a privilege to be able to see it.”

Matt flashes them a grin. “I knew when you first saw him that you were a goner, Shiro. Even back then, you were so worried about him. You were like a mother hen, and I didn’t think it was possible, but that instinct’s gotten steadily worse over the years. The two of you… well, at the risk of sounding like a total cliché, I think you were literally made for each other. We know that in at least one other reality, alternate versions of you were together, and probably that’s true in every other reality as well.”

“He’s right!” Slav calls from the back of the room, and everyone laughs again.

“So, being able to witness them coming together, falling into each other’s orbit and growing so close… it really was a sight to behold. It’s not everyday you witness true love happening right in front of you. Keith, Shiro, you guys have been my friends for a long time, and I want to thank you, for allowing me to watch you grow into the power couple that you are today. It’s an honor to know you both now and know how you came to be here. Here’s to being witness to whatever you become in the future.”

Matt raises his glass, and they all drink again. When Matt sits down, Keith expects that’s the end of it and it’s time to dance, but then Hunk stands up.

“So,” The Yellow Paladin says, taking the mic from Matt and walking around the table. “While all the wedding prep was going on, Pidge, Allura and I got to thinking. We all want to say something too. So, there’s a few more speeches for you guys to sit through, sorry.” Hunk grins sheepishly.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “So, I relate to people through food. It’s what I do. Sharing a meal with someone is a really intimate thing, I think. So, I notice little things about people during meals. The one thing that stood out to me about you two? Keith is a picky eater. He doesn’t like a lot of foods. Finding something he does like and will eat consistently? It’s like finding the holy grail or something, you feel so proud. So what I noticed in the castle was, when I served a meal and Keith liked part of it but not all of it?”

He looks at Shiro. “You’d take the part that he liked from your plate and give it to him. Sometimes without even looking, like you knew instinctively which part of the dish Keith would like and which part he’d avoid. You knew Keith’s eating habits well enough to predict them without confirming it with your eyes, and that told me something. It told me you were intimately familiar with him in more than just a romantic way, but in a casual, every day way. That told me a lot about your relationship.”

He looks at Keith. “What I noticed about you was that you knew when Shiro wasn’t eating. Either from stress or being too busy, you always, _always_ knew, and still do know, when Shiro hasn’t eaten all day, and you’ll convince him to stop, and breathe, and eat a bite. The rest of us could badger Shiro until the cows came home, but he’d always say he’d eat later, or he wasn’t hungry or some excuse. All you had to do was say ‘Shiro you’re eating, right now’ and he’d just sigh and agree. That also told me a lot about your relationship. That Shiro knows you have his best interests at heart, and that you’re trying to keep him healthy without coddling him.”

Hunk rubs the back of his neck. “Those details would probably go unnoticed by a lot of people, and a lot of people might think it’s weird for me to notice those things, but it’s how I learn about people, by watching what they eat and how. And watching you two taught me a lot, even then. So I was so, so very happy to prepare the food we ate tonight, because I have been paying attention. I know how you two eat. And even though you would have given Keith part of your food, Shiro, or you would have made him eat if he said he wasn’t hungry, Keith, you didn’t have to.”

Hunk smiles at them. “I hope I helped make this evening even more perfect for you guys, and I hope you share many more wonderful meals together in the future.”

Hunk raises his glass, and they all drink.

Pidge hops up and takes the mic from Hunk as he sits.

“Okay, so,” She starts. “I’ve known Shiro a long time. He and my brother became best friends when they joined the Garrison and Shiro was over at our place a lot on the weekends for dinner. He was always pretty quiet, but when he did talk, it was normally about classes or something he did with Matt. So when he started talking about this ‘Keith’ guy, it stood out. He was always talking about Keith and how smart he was and how worried he was about him.”

Pidge rolls her eyes then, smiling. “It was also glaringly obvious when he fell in love with this Keith guy. His voice got all quiet and soft when he talked about him and he’d get this really sappy smile on his face. It was obvious. It was also obvious when they started dating ‘cause Shiro started sighing on top of the smiles and the voice and the heart eyes, but I didn’t have proof. Not until I met Keith. Watching them together? Even before they told us they were a couple? It was so obvious. They were always in orbit around each other. It was like the pull of gravity: whenever one entered the room, the other would gravitate towards them like a magnet. It was unconscious on their part, but obvious to anyone who knew what to look for.”

She frowns a little, then. “When Shiro disappeared, it was like Keith was an asteroid drifting in space. He didn’t have that tether anymore. He was tearing himself apart under his own gravity without Shiro there to stabilize him. And that’s why I know they have to be together. They need to be each other’s gravity. They hold each other together. And now, they’re permanently tethered, just like the moon to the Earth, or the Earth to the sun. nothing will ever separate them again, and I am so thankful.”

She raises her own glass. “You guys are the shining stars, today and always. Here’s to you.”

Another drink. Keith’s getting teary again. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to make it through whatever Allura has to say.

The queen stands in front of the table and clears her throat. “I may be a queen, but that does not by any means imply that I am perfect. In fact, when the paladins met me, I was very close-minded. When I discovered that Keith was half Galra, for instance, I felt betrayed. One of the paladins that we were entrusting to save the universe from the Galra had been one the whole time? I was appalled.”

She smiles wryly. “Did I take into account that said paladin was just as shocked and appalled by the revelation of his own heritage? I did not. I just knew that, the Galra had done so much to hurt me, and I didn’t know if I could trust someone that came from the same species that caused me so much heartbreak.”

She pauses, looking around at the crowd. “But there was someone in the castle that had just as much reason to hate and fear the Galra as I did. Someone who had gone through just as much, if not more, abuse at their hand. Shiro had been their prisoner for a year, and he had just as much cause as I to despise the Galra and what they stood for. But what did Shiro do, when faced with the revelation that the man he loved held the DNA of his tormentors?”

She smiles. “He accepted him. He didn’t let the revelation of Keith’s heritage change the love he had for him. Keith was still Keith in Shiro’s eyes, no matter who or what his parents were. And you may be thinking, that’s all well and good, but would Keith feel the same if it were Shiro who were revealed to be different? I can answer that as well. Keith knew well before any of us that the clone of Shiro wasn’t the real one. It took some time and distance, yes, but Keith grew to love and care for the clone as he loved and cared for the original Shiro, because they were the same, where it really mattered.”

She looks between the two of them. “That’s the strength of your relationship. That unconditional trust and love you have for each other, no matter what the circumstances may be, you will always be there for each other, with no judgement. I admire that and can only hope I bring that kind of commitment to my own relationship.”

She raises her glass. “To you, Keith and Shiro, and your bond that is stronger than anything the universe can dream up.”

Yep, there are the tears again, dammit.

Thankfully that’s the end of the speeches, and he and Shiro walk out onto the dance floor to share their first dance. Keith sighs as he leans his head on his husband’s shoulder.

“I swear to god, they were trying to kill us.” He mutters, and Shiro’s shoulders shake as he laughs.

“Maybe a little.” He hums. “But it would have been worth it. They were all very sweet and touching.”

After their song ends, they dance with their mothers, then their best men, then the rest of their wedding party, each other’s best men, each other’s wedding party…

It’s a lot of dancing, okay? Keith is relieved by the time they can sit again. He dances with Shiro a couple more times before it’s time for cake.

Keith is a little wary, worried it’ll still be too sweet for him, but makes a pleased noise when Shiro feeds him his forkful. It is sweet, but it has a bitter edge to it that balances the flavor out. He looks at Hunk questioningly.

“Coffee.” The Yellow Paladin says cheerfully. “Works every time.”

After cake, it’s time to make the rounds again and say goodbye to everyone. They won’t be seeing them for a while, after all. There are more hugs and more tears and more well wishes, and Keith is so very grateful to all of them for making this day so special.

“Ready to go?” Shiro murmurs, squeezing his hand tightly.

“Yeah.”

There are cheers as they exit the castle’s ballroom and _another_ wolf whistle (he wonders if Lance will ever stop doing that) before they exit out into the crisp Altean night, where Black is waiting.

When they get inside and Keith takes his seat, he feels Shiro’s arms wrap around his shoulders and a kiss pressed to the top of his head.

“I love you, Keith.”

Keith grins as he presses Black to rise and exit Altea’s atmosphere. “Love you too, Takashi. You ready for three weeks of just us?”

Shiro practically purrs his answer, making Keith shiver.

“Oh, you have _no_ idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, in all it's should-have-been-canon glory: How I imagine their wedding should have gone. I can't believe there's only one more chapter in LOTRO, guys. I've been writing this since 2016, and posting it since last April. It doesn't seem real that I'm almost done with it. I can't thank you guys enough for tackling this behemoth of a fic and staying with me for this long. I hope the ending is worthy of the time it took you to get to it.  
> Next chapter: The honeymoon, and some finishing touches. See you guys next week.
> 
> Heaven only knows where you've been  
> But I don't really need to know  
> I know where you're gonna go  
> On my heart where you're resting your head  
> And you just look so beautiful  
> Just like you were an angel  
> Can I stop the flow of time?  
> Can I swim in your divine?  
> 'Cause I don't think I'd ever leave this place  
> \- Lights Down Low, MAX feat. gnash


	50. The Last of the Real Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The final chapter of LOTRO.  
> (Did you want smut? Because there's a surprising amount of smut. I was not prepared for there to be that much smut. Oops.)  
> I'll see you at the end.

They arrive to Daibazaal in the planet’s early dawn hours. This had been expected so the palace guard don’t even glance their way as they walk through the doors.

“So, it feels a little strange, knowing I’m married to a prince.” Shiro teases, and Keith rolls his eyes.

“I’m not the Galra prince.”

“I mean, you kind of are. Isn’t Kolivan pretty much the emperor now?”

“Elected leader.”

“That all the Galra still call emperor.”

Keith huffs. “Okay, fine, but I’m not related to Kolivan.”

“He’s practically adopted you and he and your mom are… close.”

“Yeah.” Keith sighs. His mom and Kolivan are totally an item. He has no idea why they won’t just admit it to him. Maybe they’re worried that he feels like they’re “replacing his dad” or some shit, but he loves Kolivan, and he loved his dad. He doesn’t see why that love has to be mutually exclusive, for him or his mom.

“Come on, Takashi, let’s hurry up and get to the room.” Keith mutters. Shiro just beams.

“As you command, my prince!”

“You know, I may have an authority kink, but I think I still prefer ‘sir’.” He muses.

Shiro chokes.

That’s more like it.

~*~

Once they arrive to the room and the door shuts, Keith is being pressed up against it, Shiro crowding into his space, gentle kisses pressed to his neck.

“You look so good in a suit.” He murmurs, fingers working on the buttons of Keith’s jacket. “God, I’ve been wanting to peel you out of it all day.”

“Well then, I guess you’d better get on it.” Keith laughs sliding his own fingers into Shiro’s gelled back hair, tugging it loose and back into its usual configuration.

Shiro just hums and pushes the jacket off Keith’s shoulders before undoing his tie and tossing it behind himself carelessly. Keith watches as it flutters to the floor near the bed before he’s distracted by his husband’s lips on his own.

Husband. “Holy shit, we’re married.” He breathes against Shiro’s mouth.

“We are,” Shiro sighs, pressing their foreheads together. “And now we’re on our honeymoon, and I’m going to worship you like you deserve.”

“Oh, you have a plan for tonight, hm?” Keith asks, wrapping an arm around Shiro’s shoulders.

“I do. I’m sure you have your own ideas for our wedding night but…” Shiro leans down to nip at his pulse. “Would you mind terribly if I went first?”

“Go for it, superman.”

Keith feels Shiro smile against his neck. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.”

“Good, because I’ve been calling you that since the beginning and I never plan to stop.”

“I’m perfectly happy with that, baby.”

Shiro slides his shirt off and it pools on the ground with his jacket, then his hands smooth along his bare sides.

“God, I love touching you.” Shiro breathes.

“I’m pretty fond of it myself.” Keith murmurs. “I hope you plan on doing more of it.”

“Always.” Shiro bends to kiss along his neck, then down his chest, soon kneeling before Keith and thumbing at his hipbones. He leans his forehead against Keith’s stomach and sighs.

“I love you.”

Keith tilts his head bac against the door and runs his fingers through Shiro’s hair again. “I love you too, Takashi.”

Shiro hums at that, then his hands move to the front of Keith’s pants, undoing the fastenings and letting them slide down his legs. Shiro frowns when they pool around his ankles and seems to remember that shoes are also a thing that must come off. “Lift your foot?”

Keith does, and Shiro unties one shiny black dress shoe, slipping it and his sock off easily. He kisses Keith’s ankle before setting his foot down and doing the same to the other one. Having successfully removed Keith’s shoes and pants, he decides to focus on something else, and begins mouthing at Keith’s erection through his briefs.

Keith’s breath hitches and he lets out a shaking sigh. “Shiro…”

“Mm,” Shiro kisses up and down his length slowly, the material of his briefs growing wetter by the moment. “You taste so good, baby.”

Keith shivers as Shiro presses one more kiss to the tip of his cock before slowly sliding down his briefs. Without preamble, Shiro takes Keith into his mouth, sliding down until he feels himself bump the back of Shiro’s throat.

“Holy shit,” Keith pants, fingers tightening in Shiro’s hair a little.

Shiro hums and strokes his thumbs over Keith’s hipbones soothingly before starting to bob his head in a slow rhythm. Keith groans when he feels Shiro’s tongue dip into his slit on every slide up.

Keith usually whites out when Shiro gives him a blowjob, and this time isn’t much different, though it seems to him like he feels it a lot more than usual. Shiro’s being a lot slower, a lot gentler, a lot more thorough. He really wasn’t kidding when he said he was gonna worship Keith tonight.

“Shiro,” He rasps, however long later, “Shiro, I’m gonna-”

Shiro hums in acknowledgement and squeezes his hips, tugging Keith towards him that little bit more.

Keith gasps and arches his back as he comes, Shiro eagerly taking everything he has to give.

To his surprise, Shiro doesn’t pull away when he’s done. He keeps his lips wrapped around Keith’s softening dick, suckling gently to try and get any last drops.

He’s slightly oversensitive, but Shiro seems to be taking that into account by not moving, so Keith decides to indulge his husband and leans back against the door, combing his fingers through Shiro’s hair carefully.

They stay like that for several long minutes as Keith’s heartrate slows, then he groans in surprise as he feels himself grow hard again, still nestled in Shiro’s mouth. It’s only when he’s fully hard again that Shiro finally pulls away, leaning his head against Keith’s hip.

“This isn’t gonna be another ‘push Keith to the limits of pleasure’ night, is it? Because if it is, I want some warning.” Keith says raggedly.

Shiro huffs a laugh and presses a kiss to Keith’s hip before looking up at him. “Not quite.” He says, voice raspy, and wow that does things to Keith’s insides. “But I do plan on having you come again when I’m inside you.”

Keith shudders. “Yeah, yeah that’s… good plan. Yes.”

Shiro laughs again and nuzzles Keith’s stomach. Keith tilts his head as he studies Shiro kneeling before him. “You know, it’s really weird to see you down there fully clothed when I’m completely naked. Isn’t it usually the other way around with these things?”

Shiro tenses at his words and pulls back, eyes wide. “Shit, I didn’t even think about- Keith, are you-?”

“I’m _fine_.” Keith soothes. “I told you before, didn’t I? You don’t have to worry about that trigger anymore. I know I’m safe when I’m with you.” He lifts an eyebrow, looking Shiro up and down. “Although, as much as I like the kimono, if you want to make it up to me, you could _also_ get naked.”

Shiro huffs and pushes himself to his feet, taking a step back so Keith can move away from the wall. So he doesn’t feel trapped. Keith refrains from rolling his eyes, smiling fondly. Goddamn superman.

“I’m all yours, baby.” Shiro tells him, spreading his arms. Keith tilts his head to the side.

“Yeah, so, I have no idea how to even _start_ getting you out of that thing. How many layers are you even wearing right now?”

Shiro laughs and pulls him close, kissing his forehead. Keith shivers at the feeling of satin and silk brushing against his bare skin. Another thought for another time, perhaps.

“Come on, superman,” Keith murmurs, pressing a kiss to the underside of Shiro’s jaw and tugging at his collar, “hurry up and get out of this so you can fuck me.”

Shiro leans down to kiss him properly. “Yes sir,” he breathes, and Keith shivers again.

Suddenly, Shiro is lifting him up and turning, using one arm to hold him and the other to pull down the sheets of the bed before laying Keith down gently. Keith turns onto his side and props his head up as he watches Shiro peel himself out of the complicated clothing, draping each piece over a nearby chair. Soon, his husband is as naked as he is, and joins him on the bed.

Keith sighs happily as Shiro’s weight settles over him, and he wraps his arms around the older man’s shoulders, raising up to press their foreheads together. “Love you.”

“I love you too, baby. More than anything.”

Keith grins. “More than life?”

That startles a laugh out of Shiro. “Yeah. That.” He leans back a little and sends his metal arm over to their abandoned bags, unzipping a side pocket of one of them and withdrawing a bottle of lube.

“Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.” Shiro murmurs as his arm returns, thumb popping the lid.

Keith sighs and does so, hooking an ankle over Shiro’s lower back. “Come on, Takashi,” He breathes.

Shiro kisses his forehead again before slick fingers begin prodding against his hole. Keith sighs and lets his muscles go lax, letting the tip of one finger slip in almost immediately. Shiro’s breath hitches.

“Good, so good for me, baby.” He murmurs, leaning down to kiss Keith’s throat.

Shiro works him with the one finger for a while before slipping in a second, then a third. All the while he’s whispering about how good Keith is, how much he loves him, how he can’t believe he gets to keep him forever, how he’s finally his.

“I’ve always been yours, Takashi.” Keith whispers. “From the moment you walked into my life, I’ve been yours, even if I didn’t know it at first.”

Shiro sighs shakily and presses his forehead to Keith’s shoulder. “I’ve been yours too.” He breathes. “From the moment I first saw you, I wanted to go to you. I wanted to be with you, in whatever capacity you’d let me.” He leans back a little and kisses Keith slowly. “I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be with you for the rest of my life.”

Keith wraps his arms around Shiro, holding him close. “Well, it’s true. I’m here. We’re both here. And nothing is going to change that again.”

“Yeah.” Shiro murmurs. “I, are you ready?”

“Yeah, Takashi. Make love to me.”

Shiro hums as he slides his fingers out. “I’ll never get tired of those words.”

“I’ll never get tired of saying them.” Keith grins. “Along with ‘Shiro’, ‘Takashi’, ‘superman’,”

“’I love you’?” Shiro adds, smiling as he sits up and reaches for the bottle again.

“That one too.” Keith agrees. “That one _especially_.”

“Good.” Shiro sighs as he leans over Keith again. “Ready?”

“Yeah, come on.”

Shiro nods, kisses Keith briefly, then presses inside.

Keith sighs and arches up into the feeling. He’ll never get tired of this. Shiro always feels so good, he’s always been _so good_ , and Keith loves every second.

Shiro stills when he’s fully seated, breathing deeply and nuzzling the side of Keith’s neck. “Okay?”

Keith smiles. Some things really do never change. “I’m good. You can move.”

Shiro nods against his neck but doesn’t move right away, content to stay where he is for the moment. Keith doesn’t push.

When Shiro does start to move, it’s slow and languid, barely pulling out before pushing back in. Keith sighs and nuzzles into Shiro’s neck. For once, he’s not in a hurry, doesn’t have the inclination to speed things along. They’ve got three weeks of this. Hell, they’ve got the rest of their lives. He thinks he can be patient and let Shiro take care of him the way he wants to.

Keith feels Shiro’s human hand smooth up his side slowly before finding his hand and tangling their fingers together. Keith sighs, tilts his head back against the pillow, and lets go.

He leans up to kiss Shiro, slowly, carefully, and Shiro sighs and kisses him back. An eternity passes, in which Keith only knows the feeling of Shiro’s lips and the heat of his body, around and inside him. By the time he feels the building pressure in his abdomen, it’s light outside, the pre-dawn of their arrival giving way to morning.

“Shiro,” he whispers, “Shiro I’m close.”

“Me too, baby.” Shiro murmurs. His hand finally releases Keith’s and slides back down his abdomen to wrap around his cock, strokes as slow as his movements inside Keith.

Keith’s breath hitches and he arches up into the touch, a coil of heat tightening in his gut. “Takashi…”

“Come for me, sweetheart.” Shiro breathes, and Keith can’t refuse him. Never has been able to. He comes with a hitched gasp, arms tight around Shiro’s shoulders.

“I love you.” he gasps, “Takashi, I love you so much, come on, come inside me, let go-”

Shiro groans lowly and bites at Keith’s neck as he comes, shuddering violently.

“That’s it.” Keith breathes. “That’s it, you’re so good for me, Shiro, I love you so much.”

“Keith,” Shiro sighs, kissing the spot he’d bitten in apology. “Keith.”

“I’m here.”

Shiro sighs and lays his head on Keith’s shoulder, content.

For a long time, the only sounds in the room are their quiet breaths, the hum of the tangible energy connecting Shiro’s arm to his shoulder, and their heartbeats.

“Hey,” Keith says a while later, combing his fingers through Shiro’s hair. “did you fall asleep on me?”

Shiro groans. “Not yet.”

“Good, because I still have wedding night plans for _you_.” he reminds his husband. Shiro laughs and sits up a little.

“It’s morning already, Keith.”

“So? We haven’t slept yet, so it’s still our wedding night as far as I’m concerned.”

Shiro sighs and shakes his head fondly. “Okay, okay. Let me clean you up first, though?”

“By all means.”

Shiro gets off the bed on shaky legs and wanders into the attached bathroom, coming back a moment later with a warm, wet cloth that he drags over Keith’s skin.

“Okay, baby,” Shiro says once he’s tossed the cloth into a corner and laid down beside Keith once more. “I’m all yours.”

“Thought you were already mine?” Keith hums, rolling so he’s straddling Shiro’s hips. Shiro reaches up to settle his hands on Keith’s waist.

“Always.”

“Good.” Keith purrs, then leans down to kiss Shiro. He gropes around for the lube without looking, managing to find it towards the head of the bed and pops the cap. “So, you wanna know what I have planned?”

Shiro eyes where he’s coating his fingers with the lube. “I imagine you’re going to fuck me.”

“Well, yeah,” Keith says, setting the lube off to the side and sliding back so he’s sitting between Shiro’s legs. “That part’s kind of a given.” He pushes one of Shiro’s legs up and back for better access before prodding at his hole. Much like himself, Shiro relaxes immediately and Keith’s finger slips in without any trouble.

“But,” Keith continues, crooking his finger and nudging Shiro’s prostate, “you wanna know what else I have planned?”

“That isn’t enough?” Shiro pants out, one hand reaching for Keith’s hair.

“Oh Takashi,” he purrs, taking Shiro’s wrist and pinning it to the bed. “You didn’t think it was gonna be that easy, did you?”

The whimper that pulls from Shiro is glorious.

Keith leans over the side of the bed and after a very careful balancing act manages to snatch his previously discarded tie off the floor. He slides his finger out of Shiro, who is not very happy about the loss, and grabs his other wrist, pinning both of them above his head. Then he holds up the tie and raises an eyebrow.

“This okay?” he asks, aware Shiro has his own triggers.

“Yeah, should be fine.” Shiro assures, and Keith wraps the silky cloth around his husband’s wrists, not tightly, but enough to remind Shiro it’s there.

“Now,” Keith murmurs, “I want you to keep these _here_ ,” he presses down on the cloth, “until I say otherwise, okay?”

Shiro swallows thickly. “Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.” He rewards Shiro with a sweet kiss before leaning back and pressing his finger back inside, adding a second one a moment later. It never gets old, watching Shiro writhe beneath him in pleasure.

“Keith, Keith!” Shiro gasps, and his hands curl into fists, trying to obey Keith.

“I’m here, Takashi.” He soothes, running his free hand across Shiro’s chest. “You’re being so good for me. You want to keep being good, right?”

“Yes,” Shiro rasps.

Keith raises an eyebrow and pinches one of Shiro’s nipples sharply, causing the older man to yelp. “Yes what?”

Shiro shivers, head tilting back against the pillow. “Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.” Keith coos, leaning down to kiss Shiro’s sternum. He adds a third finger and watches Shiro’s mouth drop open in a breathy moan.

“Do you want me, Takashi?” He murmurs, thumbing over one of Shiro’s scars gently.

“I always want you.” Shiro says quietly. Keith can’t help but smile.

“I know.” He slides his fingers out and shivers a little when Shiro whimpers at the loss, reaching for the lube and slicking himself up before leaning over Shiro and pressing his forehead against the other man’s shoulder. “Ready?”

“Mm, yeah.” Shiro sighs. “Come on, baby.”

Keith kisses his shoulder, and slides in.

Shiro hums and arches up and when Keith looks, he sees Shiro’s hands clawing at the sheets. Perfect. He’s getting desperate.

“Hey,” He murmurs, kissing Shiro’s neck, you remember when I gave you this?” he reaches up and traces his fingers over the bitemark on the other side of Shiro’s neck.

“Yeah,” Shiro pants.

“Well, turns out it means more than I thought.”

He leans back to see Shiro’s puzzled expression. “What do you mean?”

“I mentioned it to my mom, that I keep biting over this spot,” he taps the mark again, “and she told me it’s a Galra thing. Which we figured, but, it’s a little more than just an instinct. For Galra, biting each other hard enough to leave a mark is a symbol of bonding. Essentially, I half-married you the day I bit you.”

Shiro blinks up at him for a moment, then laughs. “Well, someone was eager. We’d only been engaged for a couple hours at the time.”

“Yeah, well,” Keith grumbles, then shakes his head. “The point is, I only _half-_ married you the Galra way. You’d have to bite me back in order for us to be considered ‘bondmates’ by their standards.”

“Aren’t we already, considering?” Shiro wiggles the fingers of his left hand, drawing attention to the ring.

“Yes, but, it kinda feels unfair to leave it half finished, you know?” he leans down and nips at the bitemark, and Shiro’s breath hitches.

“Keith, are you…?”

“Bite me back, Takashi.” He purrs. “I wanna wear your mark like you wear mine, so that even when I have to take this off,” He wiggles his own left hand, “I still have your claim on me.”

Shiro swallows. “I could’ve done it earlier, you know, when I had my face buried in your neck for half an hour. Why not bring it up then?”

Keith smirks. “Reasons.”

One white eyebrow lifts. “Such as?”

“You’ll see.” Keith leans down and kisses him before he can ask, and snaps his hips forwards, cutting off any further words from Shiro’s mouth.

Shiro may have wanted to take things slow, and Keith might have been okay with that at the time, but he’s always been impatient at heart. He sets a hard, fast pace that has Shiro gasping on every thrust in, all while Keith murmurs how good he’s being and how proud he is. Every so often Keith glances up and sees Shiro’s hands shaking. Eventually, when it looks like he’s about to snap the tie without even thinking, Keith relents.

“Okay, Takashi, you’ve been so good for me,” he purrs, reaching up and tugging the loose knot free. “You can touch me now.”

Shiro all but growls as he shakes off the tie and grips Keith’s hips with bruising force, surging up to kiss him. Keith smirks into the kiss. He loves when Shiro lets loose like this.

He pulls away, only to have Shiro start placing biting kisses down the column of his throat. Perfect.

Keith grins, then, gripping Shiro’s hips tightly, manages to flip them so Shiro’s sitting on his hips, cock still buried in his ass.

Shiro blinks down at him, stunned.

Keith settles back into the pillow and smirks up at his bewildered husband. “Ride me, Takashi.” He coos, and Shiro’s eyes go dark. He braces his hands on Keith’s chest and lifts up before dropping down hard and, oh.

This, this was a good plan.

God, he sees why Shiro loves it so much when Keith’s the one doing the riding. He snaps his hips up every time Shiro comes down and Keith starts to see stars. He growls lowly, the sound made rougher than usual by his fangs, and the tips of his claws dig into Shiro’s sides. He knows his sclera are probably yellow right about now.

He sits up and tugs Shiro against him, working a hand between their bodies to wrap his fingers around Shiro’s cock. “Bite me,” He growls.

Shiro shivers and buries his face in Keith’s neck, teeth scraping against his skin.

“Shiro, please, _bite me_ ,” He groans, and shudders when he feels Shiro’s teeth sink into his flesh. They’re not as sharp as Keith’s own, but they’re sharp enough to get the job done. Keith sighs at the feeling, and it’s enough to push him over the edge, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take Shiro with him. He swipes his thumb over Shiro’s slit and that’s just enough to tug Shiro over too.

They sit there for a moment, panting, before Keith feels Shiro pull away slightly and begin lapping up the blood from the wound. Something about it soothes his Galra instincts and he starts purring quietly.

“Happy now?” Shiro murmurs, kissing the bite carefully.

“Yeah,” Keith sighs and flops back down onto the bed, tugging Shiro with him. “Gimme a few and I’ll be up for round three.”

Shiro laughs and flips them onto their sides, wrapping his human arm around Keith and sending his metal one to the nightstand before powering it off.

“Keith, it’s late morning, and we had a very long day, and I’ll bet neither one of us got much sleep last night.” He says gently. “We need to sleep, sweetheart.”

Keith pouts and tucks his head under Shiro’s chin. “But, I wanna keep having sex.”

Shiro laughs again and pulls him close, nuzzling the top of his head. “We have three weeks to do nothing but, baby. And I admire your Galra stamina, but it is something I don’t have. I need to sleep.”

Keith huffs. “Well, what if I wake up while you’re still sleeping and I’m horny?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Shiro says, smile clear in his voice, “If that happens, I give you blanket permission to wake me up, however you like.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “However I like? Like… how much are we talking here?”

A kiss, pressed to his hair. “When I say however you like, I mean it. Do whatever you want to me. My only condition? You get enough sleep. Don’t just snooze for an hour and call it done. Okay?”

“Is this just for today, or the whole honeymoon?” Keith wonders.

“For the rest of our lives.” Shiro hums.

“You’re telling me I can wake you up however I want for the rest of our lives as long as I get enough sleep?”

“Yep.”

Keith blinks rapidly. “Yeah, okay, deal.”

Shiro hums and kisses the top of his head again. “Good. Now, get some sleep, Keith. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Keith closes his eyes, not realizing how tired he was until then. Shiro was right, they really did have a long day. And as much as Keith is looking forward to their continued sexathon, falling asleep pressed against his husband is a pretty nice way to spend time too.

~*~

Their week in Daibazaal ends without having left the bedroom much, but Shiro kind of expected that. Nor does he mind it in the least. Their week on Altea involves a lot more sightseeing and Allura giving them what is essentially a blank check for them to do whatever they want with her covering it. She calls it their wedding gift even though its ridiculously over the top but she’d refused to take no for an answer.

They spend two days wandering around the bazaar, shopping and eating street food of all kinds. They even come across a shop selling “Wedding of the Black Paladin” merch, which Keith can’t decide if he finds disturbing or hysterical. Shiro buys them a set of coasters, which the shopkeeper gives them free of charge when he realizes just who’s buying it, even after Shiro explains Allura’s coving their expenses.

“Look, it’s us as chibis!” Shiro coos as he looks at the coasters back in their guest room. “And the lions are chibi too! It’s so cute!”

“Shiro, what are we even gonna do with coasters?” Keith asks, hanging off the bed and looking at him with that long-familiar expression of fond exasperation.

“We can use them for the tea cups from the set Iverson got us!” Shiro says excitedly. He’d been thrilled when he saw the tea set. Keith had been, amused.

Keith shakes his head and stands, crossing the room and taking the coasters out of his hand, setting them on the table before straddling Shiro’s lap. “That’s nice and all, Takashi, but isn’t there something else in this room you’d rather be focusing on?”

Shiro smiles and pulls Keith against him. “I’m always thinking about you, baby.”

“Well then show me.” Keith purrs.

It’s a few hours later that Shiro manages to catch his breath, Keith purring happily against his side.

“Let’s go again,” His husband coos, pawing at Shiro’s chest.

Shiro laughs and nuzzles against Keith’s hair. “I’m tired from hiking up the mountain. In the morning, okay?”

Keith huffs but snuggles closer and throws an arm and a leg over Shiro. “Fine.”

“Goodnight, baby.”

“Night, Takashi.”

Shiro falls asleep quickly, and as it turns out, Keith took ‘in the morning’ very, very seriously.

~*~

Keith wakes early. He grabs for his phone and sees that it’s nine AM, Altea time. He sighs and rolls over to face Shiro, who’s still dead asleep. Keith frowns. He could go back to sleep, but he’s pretty awake now. And… besides… Shiro promised they’d have sex again this morning… and it’s morning… and he said Keith could wake him up however he liked…

Hm.

~*~

Warm. Wet. What’s…?

Shiro groans as he drifts into consciousness, his hands gripping smooth skin, and something slick – a tongue? – is tracing over his collarbone. And…

“Oh fuck, Keith,” He groans, rolling his hips up into his husband’s welcoming body.

“Mm? You awake this time?” Keith purrs, nipping at his throat before sitting up a little. Shiro’s breath catches. Keith looks beautiful, flushed red and eyes hazy with pleasure.

“This time?” Shiro breathes, tightening his grip on Keith’s hips and tugging him down sharply, causing a surprised moan to leave Keith’s throat.

“Yeah,” Keith pants, “I, I thought you’d woken up when I was blowing you, turns out you were just saying my name in your sleep. Heh, guess you knew it was me subconsciously.”

“Jesus,” Shiro breathes, sitting up and gripping Keith’s sides a little higher in order to guide his movements better. “How long have you been playing with me, baby?”

Keith groans and wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. “A while.” He says raggedly. “Woke up, couldn’t go back to sleep, remembered what you said about waking you up however I wanted.”

“Well if this is what you choose to do with that freedom,” Shiro murmurs, adjusting Keith a little so he’s able to nudge his prostate on every thrust in, “Then I look forward to waking up every day.”

Keith laughs breathlessly. “Yeah? Was worried… I went too far, but you said no limit so…”

“I love this.” Shiro murmurs, kissing Keith gently. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Takashi.” Keith murmurs.

It’s not long before Keith comes with a ragged cry, and Shiro’s not far behind. In the afterglow, he holds Keith close and nuzzles his hair. Keith has his face tucked into Shiro’s neck.

“That was fun.” Keith says sleepily. “Can I do that again?”

“Feel free.” Shiro murmurs fondly. He presses a kiss to the side of Keith’s head. “Now, what do you want to do today?”

“Well, I’d like to stay in bed, but our week on Altea’s up. We should probably head to Earth.”

The last week of their honeymoon is going to be spent on Earth, in Japan, specifically. Shiro is looking forward to showing Keith all the sights he saw whenever he visited with his family. Most of the damage from the Galra has been fixed, so he’ll be able to do it properly.

“I guess we should get ready to go then.” Shiro says.

“Just a few more minutes.” Keith mumbles, melting against him.

“Okay, baby.” Shiro murmurs, holding Keith a little tighter. “A few more minutes it is.”

~*~

Tokyo is still a little battered after the Galra, but Hokkaido is almost completely back to normal. Keith loves the lavender fields and buys too much soap. He also loves Nara Park and tells Shiro he wants to take all the deer home.

“No, Keith. We can come back whenever you want with Black, okay?” Shiro says fondly as he watches several deer crowd around his husband who is trying in vain to pet and feed them all at once.

“Yeah.” Keith sighs.

They stop to eat in a cat café and once again, Keith is enamored.

“I had no idea Japan was this big on animals.” He says as one cat curls up in his lap. “I kinda don’t wanna leave.”

Shiro sighs and looks out the window. They only have one more full day left of their honeymoon, then they’ll have to face the real world again.

“Hey,” Keith murmurs, and a warm hand grips his own. Shiro turns back to see his husband giving him a fond look. “I get it. I kinda just wanna say ‘fuck it’ and stay on vacation forever too. But we have shit to do. Once we get some things stabilized, we can take a second honeymoon, yeah?”

Shiro smiles and rotates his hand so he can lace his fingers with Keith’s. “That sounds really nice.”

They keep walking through the city for a while before retreating back to their hotel. They make love for hours, knowing there’s no rush to anything. They still have a little while to enjoy themselves.

When Keith grows tired and curls up to sleep, Shiro spoons up behind him and wraps his arm around him tightly. He’s reminded of those nights in Keith’s shack where they would sleep just like this. Things had been a lot simpler then, but even so, he wouldn’t change anything that had happened to them, because it led them to being here.

The Galra, the witch, the druids, dying, being cloned… all of it was worth it to be able to hold Keith in his arms, and know with certainty that he’ll be able to keep him forever.

~*~

Keith wakes slowly on the last full day of their honeymoon.  He’s warm and sated and held securely in Shiro’s arms. This time tomorrow, they’ll have to get up and pack and head back to the Garrison to receive update reports from them and the Blade, and for Shiro to re-board the Atlas. But for this morning, he gets to bask in the comfort and safety of being held.

Keith sighs sleepily and shifts back to press more snugly against Shiro’s chest, and hums when he realizes Shiro is hard.

“Shiro?” He mumbles. No answer, which means Shiro’s still asleep. He could roll over and ride him again like he had last week – that had been one of his better ideas, apparently – but he doesn’t really wanna move and risk exposing himself to the cool air of the room. So instead he just hums and grinds back against Shiro lazily until his husband begins to rouse.

Shiro groans and his arm tightens around Keith’s middle and he grinds forward when Keith shifts back. “Keith?”

“Mm. Morning.” Keith sighs. “Hey, fuck me.”

Shiro huffs a laugh and kisses the back of his neck. “You know, you _could_ ask nicely.”

“I could.” Keith muses. “Oh Takashi, would you be so kind as to please fuck me senseless on this fine morning?”

Shiro giggles helplessly into his hair before leaning down to bite at his shoulder. “Brat.”

“You love me.”

“I really do.” He murmurs fondly. His arm moves to reach behind himself and grab the bottle of lube they’d put on the nightstand and Keith hears the pop that indicates the bottle has been opened. “Roll onto your back for me?” Shiro hums, but Keith shakes his head.

“No, like this.” He wiggles back again, causing Shiro’s breath to hitch. “Wanna keep spooning.”

“Okay.” Shiro nuzzles his hair again before he uses his metal hand to slide under the sheets and lift Keith’s leg a little.

“Mmph. Cold.” Keith mutters.

“Sorry, baby, but it’ll warm up.”

“Mm.”

Slick fingers prod at his hole and Keith sighs as one slips in immediately.

“You’re so loose, sweetheart.” Shiro breathes.

“Mm, you did fuck me twice last night.” Keith reminds him.

“I was only returning the favor.” Shiro hums, sliding a second finger in.

“Yeah,” Keith sighs, tilting his head back to rest on Shiro’s shoulder. “Mm, feels good.”

“You still sound like you’re half asleep.” Shiro teases as he works in a third finger with little resistance.

“Kinda am, doesn’t mean I don’t want you. I always want you.”

“I know, baby, and the feeling is very mutual.”

“C’mon, superman, I’m ready.” Keith sighs, wiggling his hips impatiently.

Another kiss is pressed to the back of his neck and Keith feels his fingers slip out. He doesn’t have time to mourn the loss as he feels Shiro’s cock replace them a moment later.

“Ah,” Keith sighs and presses back into Shiro’s hips, helping settle him fully inside. “’M good, Shiro.”

Shiro laughs gently, arm returning to wrap around him, hand settling over his heart, over the tattoo of his name. “I didn’t even ask.”

“You were gonna.”

“True.” The arm around him tightens. “You know me so well.”

“I know every part of you.” Keith murmurs.

“Just like I know every part of you.” Shiro sighs, kissing Keith’s neck.

Shiro’s movements are slow and fluid, almost an afterthought. They keep murmuring to each other, random, sappy nonsense Keith is sure they won’t remember when they wake up properly. But it’s still important. Still special. Everything is special with Shiro.

When they come, it’s quiet, breathy sighs and sleepy groans. After, they stay the way they are for several long moments.

“What do you wanna do today?” Shiro asks eventually, fingers tracing idly over his chest. Keith hisses when they brush over a nipple, and Shiro huffs a laugh.

“Even after all this time, you’re still so sensitive.” He coos.

“Shut up.” Keith mutters.

“My question stands, though.”

“Hm,” Keith tilts his head back against Shiro’s shoulder again and looks towards the window. “Ca we just… stay here?”

“All day?”

“Yeah.” He cranes his neck back to look at Shiro. “There’s nothing more I want than to be here with you.”

Shiro lifts up so he can kiss Keith gently. “Okay.”

They lay back down and doze for a while. After that they wake and make love again. Then they order room service and watch movies. Then they curl up and talk.

When they finally go to sleep for the night, Keith’s mind is buzzing, but he knows it will quiet shortly. It always does when he’s wrapped in Shiro’s arms.

He reaches up to finger the jade bead around his neck, a movement he’s done so many times over the years, and his knuckles bump his engagement ring.

Keith sighs heavily and closes his eyes, smiling. Shiro has been changing his life since the day they met, and he will no doubt continue to do so. Keith had no idea how lucky he was that day in the Garrison cafeteria, but he knows he’ll always be grateful, to that day, and all the ones that followed, even the bad ones. Because all of them led to him being able to call Takashi Shirogane his husband.

“I love you, Takashi.” He murmurs.

And as always, even when he’s half asleep, Shiro murmurs back.

“I love you too, Keith.”

~*~*~*~

_Upon returning from their honeymoon, Captain **Takashi Shirogane** and Commander **Keith Kogane** were both stationed aboard the Atlas. Keith was given a small task force of Blades who would live and train aboard the Atlas, further solidifying the Galra’s integration into the Galactic Coalition._

**_Lance and Allura_ ** _became engaged a year after Keith and Shiro’s wedding. As Keith had suggested, the ceremony was broadcast to the coalition, which nether bride nor groom minded, they were too focused on each other anyway. Keith was Lance’s best man, and returned the favor to his best friend by wolf-whistling as loud as humanly possible when he kissed Allura at the alter. The Altean Queen and her husband were very popular with the people, and the entire coalition celebrated with Altea when it was announced that the queen had safely given birth to twin princesses, three years into their marriage._

**_Pidge_ ** _split her time between working on Earth with her family, on the Atlas with her girlfriend, and on Olkarion with Ryner. She never stopped being fascinated by the universe, and became the foremost Human expert on integrating alien technology with Earth designs. She made sure to keep constant tabs on her brother and parents, and it’s even rumored that she injected trackers into them incase of another abduction. Pidge vehemently denied these claims._

**_Hunk_ ** _kept nurturing his diplomatic catering business and became an astounding diplomat in his own right. He kept his family close, and was always willing to cook something up for any weary paladin that happened to wander into the Atlas kitchens late at night. He and Shay grew closer and closer as the years passed, but every time one of the other paladins brought it up, he got flustered, and they were forced to drop it, but one day, they’ll get a straight answer._

**_Coran_ ** _remained Allura’s advisor, but also took on the role as doting grandfather when the little princesses were born. He was still always quick to offer strange, yet helpful advice whenever one of the paladins needed it. He was just glad that he fulfilled Alfor’s last wish and was able to safely say that Allura was whole and happy for the rest of her life._

**_All six of the Paladins_ ** _remained close for their whole lives and met up as often as they could manage. They always relied on each other, and it showed in those rare instances where Voltron was still needed. The bond they’d forged during those last years of the war was not one easily destroyed._

**_Shiro and Keith_ ** _explored the universe together like they’d always promised each other they would. Though they still faced foes every so often, they were living in peaceful times and were able to enjoy that fact to the fullest. Four years into their marriage, they ended up adopting four children of varying species, which led to the Captain of the Atlas trying in vain to babyproof the ship, much to his husband’s amusement. Even though they still faced problems in their life, they were always there for one another. As the years passed, they found that the horrors of their pasts were fading in the wake of better memories. Nothing ever tore them apart again, and they never stopped loving each other more than anything. More than life._

E N D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ultra-kind of love you never walk away from  
> You’re just the last of the real ones  
> \- The Last of the Real Ones, Fall Out Boy
> 
> That's it. That's the end. This was the first thing I ever wrote for the Voltron fandom. It's been my baby for almost three years and I'm surprised just how emotional I am to be finished with it. All of you who have read and enjoyed this behemoth, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It's touching and humbling to know that so many of you hold this silly little indulgence of mine in such high esteem. I would like to add that, as is my apparent habit, there is more to write in this 'verse. Many of my canon-based fic ideas use Keith and Shiro's backstory from this, but aside from that, there are a few 'side stories' that take place after the end of canon that are part of this AU. So if you're just as sad as I am to be saying goodbye to LOTRO, then know that I'm not 100% done with this 'verse.   
> I feel like I have so much more I need to say about this, but I've said all that needs to be said. Just, thank you all again for sticking with me through this, whether you've been reading from the first chapter or whether you just stumbled across it now. It's a massive fic and I know it takes a lot of time to read things of this length, so if you decided that it was worth the time to read all of it, that really says something. I love and appriciate you all, and who knows, I may see you all again in another fic! But for now, this is the end. I hope you enjoyed the journey.


End file.
